Episode #396 - 80 for Brady

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss 80 for Brady.

[0:04] In which we get a little bit shady about this group of ladies who are 80 for Tom Brady and a little crazy.

[0:13] Maybe.

Dan McCoy

[0:15] Getting into some slant rhymes in the end.

[0:30] Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:42] I'm Dan McCoy.

Stuart Wellington

[0:43] Oh, hey Dan, it's me, Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:46] And I'm over here, Elliot Kalin, probably still manning the picket lines.

[0:50] We're recording this episode a little bit, about a week early.

[0:53] But it's very possible that the Writers Guild is still on strike.

[0:55] And I want to thank everyone out there who's supporting us for supporting us during these hard times where we fight for what's best for us.

[1:01] And also what's best for the entire entertainment worker creative community.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06] Yeah, like I support by sending you guys like little memes and funny videos in the group chat.

[1:11] Yeah, that's how you support us.

[1:12] Thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13] You send us with a text message that says drop whatever shit you're doing right now and watch this.

[1:17] Which I can't always do since usually I'm carrying a sign.

[1:20] Yeah, put the sign down.

Dan McCoy

[1:22] But I mean, Stuart is the wind beneath our wings.

[1:25] Let's be clear about that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26] Would I rather he went to entertainmentcommunity.org and donated to the Entertainment Community Fund to help film and television professionals?

[1:32] Sure, yeah.

[1:32] But sending us silly memes is also helping us.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35] The thing is, I'm a man who can do both, Elliot.

[1:38] That's very true.

[1:39] I can fill your heart and your wallet.

[1:41] Why not both?

Dan McCoy

[1:43] Audrey has a picture of herself where she's like, don't I look so much like the why not both girl?

[1:49] And so she's made a version of it that she now uses with friends.

[1:53] And like it's gotten to a point that I don't even notice it's not the original why not both meme.

Stuart Wellington

[1:59] I feel like that's the next level is instead of doing like me and immediately Googling critters gif, instead I'll make my own little gif, my own little reaction video of myself.

[2:13] That fits the situation.

Elliott Kalan

[2:15] Similar to how I have a picture of my sons looking at the camera smiling while a house burns in the background.

[2:21] Much like the meme of the same.

[2:24] Did they like that house on fire?

[2:25] I'm not going to say we're being recorded.

[2:29] Yeah.

[2:30] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[2:30] Well, we should probably explain this podcast for anyone who has stumbled upon it.

[2:34] So this is a podcast where I incriminate my children into crimes.

Stuart Wellington

[2:37] They're just trying to live out their Manchester by the Sea fantasy experience.

Elliott Kalan

[2:41] I shouldn't have shown them Manchester by the Sea.

[2:44] That was a mistake.

[2:48] This is a podcast.

[2:49] They said they wanted to learn more about grief.

[2:51] So I showed them that and Margaret.

[2:53] And on second thought, maybe they weren't ready for so much Kenneth Lonergan.

[2:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[2:58] This is a podcast where we watch a movie that, you know, had a shaky reaction either at the box office or critically.

[3:05] Flop is used in a wide range of meanings here.

[3:10] And then we talk about it.

[3:11] We discuss it.

[3:12] We see what we think about it.

[3:13] And this time we watched 80 for Brady.

[3:16] The film that I had.

[3:18] Guys, I just want to take over quickly for a moment here.

[3:21] When I saw the trailer to this movie.

[3:22] You were already in charge.

[3:22] But sure, continue.

[3:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:24] When I saw the trailer to this movie.

[3:26] I was so.

[3:27] The trick to being in charge, by the way, is you tell everyone that you're in charge.

Elliott Kalan

[3:30] Well, and make it seem like the others are in charge, but you're just borrowing it for a moment.

[3:34] Yeah.

[3:34] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:35] The president in the middle of the state of the university is like, and if I could talk for a little bit longer.

[3:39] And it's like, you got the floor, man.

[3:40] You're the president.

[3:41] Just go for it.

[3:42] That's why we're all here.

Dan McCoy

[3:43] Pulls a Ross Perot like, excuse me.

[3:45] Excuse me.

[3:45] Can I talk?

[3:46] It's a really old reference.

[3:48] Dan, I finish.

[3:50] No.

[3:51] Did you have the same reaction that I did to the trailer?

[3:53] When I saw the trailer, I'm like, what is this movie trying to sell me?

[3:57] This movie is sold on the premise of like, these four older women want to go to the Super Bowl.

[4:07] Can you believe it?

[4:09] Yeah, as if that's crazy.

[4:10] And I'm like, the Super Bowl is the biggest event in the most popular sport in America.

[4:17] Something that is not to my taste, certainly, but I do not find it unbelievable.

Elliott Kalan

[4:22] You would literally have a soup or bowl.

[4:25] You'd rather have a bowl of soup or some other food in it.

[4:28] Yeah, well, for me personally, not for a movie.

Stuart Wellington

[4:30] I think that also would be kind of boring.

[4:32] How do you feel about—

[4:32] Look at a bowl of soup, yeah.

[4:34] Dan, how do you feel about the Super Bowl or just like football in general?

Dan McCoy

[4:38] I would say that I watch one game of football a year.

[4:43] It is usually the Super Bowl.

[4:44] The puppy bowl, yeah.

[4:46] I am there because I am either at a friend's house or Audrey's family is having a Super Bowl party.

Stuart Wellington

[4:53] Or you just smoke too much of the good shit and you ended up there, you know?

Dan McCoy

[4:56] Well, I guess that's another type of Super Bowl you can have.

Elliott Kalan

[5:01] When he emerged from his haze, he realized he was at a Super Bowl party.

[5:05] Who ate all these chips?

[5:07] Guy who just wandered in.

[5:08] Oh, hey, man, I was hungry.

Stuart Wellington

[5:10] Elliot's practicing for his upcoming stoner comp.

[5:13] I am.

Elliott Kalan

[5:13] This is my SNL character.

[5:16] I'm not sure if I'm auditioning yet as Guy Who's Mad That A Stoner Wandered Into A Super Bowl Party or Stoner Who Wandered Into A Super Bowl Party.

[5:22] I think maybe both characters in the audition, yeah.

[5:24] I'll let Lauren figure out which one I'm best at.

Dan McCoy

[5:27] Yeah, but that's my—I mean, like I see a game a year.

[5:31] I get why it's exciting.

[5:33] I just can't sustain that interest in it.

[5:36] And I have all the usual, like, finger-waving issues with, you know, like people getting seriously medically.

Elliott Kalan

[5:41] Just because it destroys people's brains and their bodies for the entertainment of others.

Dan McCoy

[5:46] But it's—yeah, it's not to my taste, but I understand that it is extremely popular.

[5:50] So when this movie's like, can you believe these ladies?

[5:52] I'm like, yes, I can easily believe that four American women are such fans of football that they're—and Tom Brady, a very popular sports figure, that they would want to go to the Super Bowl.

[6:05] You gotta sell me something else, movie.

[6:06] I mean, and I guess the movie is selling me these four actors, these actresses who are wonderful.

[6:13] And I have a lot of the effects for them.

[6:14] Let's right up top.

Stuart Wellington

[6:16] Before it gets weird, we can all agree they can all still get it, right, guys?

[6:21] Before you guys get gross about it.

Elliott Kalan

[6:23] When Dan was like, did you have the same reaction I did?

[6:25] I want to be like, arousal?

[6:26] Yeah, of course.

[6:27] Yeah, they're all gorgeous still.

Dan McCoy

[6:30] Sure, there's that.

[6:31] I mean, we don't need to turn it into that.

[6:33] Why are you making it weird?

[6:34] I told you not to make it weird.

Elliott Kalan

[6:36] Yeah, you're making it weird and we're not making it weird.

[6:38] We're just being open about the fact that they're gorgeous women.

Stuart Wellington

[6:41] I just feel like if we bring it up now and get it out of the way, it'll save you all this, like, threading.

Dan McCoy

[6:45] I just think that bringing it up first values that above perhaps their acting ability, which is also tremendous.

Stuart Wellington

[6:52] And in some cases, like, and like Jane Fonda's, her various charity work and her activism, like, come on, Dan.

[7:01] There's a lot of stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[7:02] There's a lot that Jane Fonda took a lot of shit for in her life that she was right about in retrospect.

[7:09] So let's just be okay with that for a moment, okay?

[7:12] Then you've got three-

Dan McCoy

[7:14] How do I become the heel in this?

Elliott Kalan

[7:16] Three quarters of them are Oscar winners, right?

[7:18] I don't think Lily Tomlin has ever won an Oscar.

[7:20] But they're all, they're an amazing group of talents.

[7:23] When I, in my neighborhood for a long time, there was a big 80 for Brady billboard that was, I saw almost every day.

[7:29] And you saluted it every time you drove.

[7:31] Every time while I was driving, I stood up, I saluted, I stopped whatever I was saying for a moment of silence.

[7:35] And you started singing, ain't that America.

[7:38] And the funny thing was every time we drove past it, my wife would be like, what is that movie just about that they like football?

[7:45] Like, that's it?

[7:45] Basically saying what Dan was saying.

[7:47] And also, I had to keep reminding myself that it was not the book club ladies, that Jane Fonda is the only crossover between book club and 80 for Brady, right?

[7:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:56] But it'd be crazy if it was a full-on crossover, though.

[7:59] It would be easy.

Elliott Kalan

[8:00] Because then there'd be two Jane Fondas, or is she leading a double life?

Stuart Wellington

[8:03] Yeah.

[8:04] That's the, I mean, these are the questions the trailer's going to ask, and the movie will have to answer.

Elliott Kalan

[8:08] And again, I'm just going to say it right here, so it's not awkward.

[8:11] Two Jane Fondas, every American man's fantasy.

[8:14] Yeah, so stop, don't, we bring it up now, Dan, so it doesn't get weird later.

Dan McCoy

[8:18] Oh, God.

[8:20] Look, yes, they're all very beautiful, but also they're Hollywood legends.

[8:25] Whoa, why are you saying it like that?

[8:26] Let's be begrudging about it, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[8:27] And they're also Hollywood legends.

[8:29] And yes, there's a certain amount of, why are these women at this point in their career making a movie like this?

[8:34] It's partly, I have to assume, because there's not that many roles for women in their age group.

[8:37] There should be more.

[8:38] It's partly because they just have fun together.

[8:40] It's probably fun, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[8:41] Maybe they're all big football fans.

[8:42] I don't know.

[8:43] I mean, you mentioned Book Club before, other than Jane Fonda.

[8:48] Like, that's the obvious point of, you know, like, reference for this movie, where it's like, oh, this was successful with, if you put some older legendary actors in a movie, that will oftentimes become like a sleeper hit.

[9:07] Whether it be that, like, older people who would like that feel underserved or a wide variety of ages who are, like, just admirers of these people want to come out and see this movie.

[9:19] I found this film a little thin.

[9:21] We'll get into it.

Elliott Kalan

[9:22] I would say it is extremely thin.

[9:24] It is as if they filmed the outline.

[9:26] And this movie, so I don't know how much they actually, I don't know what stage they were involved in, but this movie credits its writers.

[9:32] Sarah Haskins and Emily Halpern, who wrote Booksmart, which I loved, which I thought was a really fantastic movie.

[9:37] And so it's, I'm very, I wish that we had them here so I could be like, was this movie rewritten a lot?

[9:44] Did they only give you two days?

[9:46] Because this is one of those, like, gig jobs the producers are trying to create, you know, to steal money away from writers and make it so our careers crash and burn and none of us can survive or support our families.

[9:56] Like, what happened here?

[9:57] Did they rewrite it all on set?

[9:59] Did the ladies decide they just wanted to ad-lib it through and they didn't even read any of it?

[10:02] Because it is a movie that is, it is, there is one scene in it that I found funny, which I felt bad about because they're funny performers.

[10:09] And by coincidence, I was watching this movie at the same time that for another thing I am reading the book version of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe.

[10:20] And so it was like I was, which Lily Tomlin originated as a one-woman show.

[10:24] She didn't write it, but she originated it.

[10:25] But it's like, it was like I was experiencing the highs and lows of Lily Tomlin's career at the exact same time.

[10:30] And it was really giving me Lily Tomlin whiplash, you know.

Dan McCoy

[10:34] Stuart's already making, you know, saddened.

[10:37] Yeah, my enthusiasm is draining away.

Stuart Wellington

[10:41] Yeah.

[10:42] You have unbunged my, what, my barrel of enthusiasm.

[10:47] And my enthusiasm's dripping all over the floor.

[10:51] We're going to have to get a fucking mop.

Elliott Kalan

[10:53] It's so sticky.

[10:54] But here's the thing, guys.

[10:55] It just means it's time for another episode.

[10:56] And by another episode, I mean the first episode of Flop Court.

[10:59] That's right.

[11:00] Flop Court.

[11:01] Where Stuart is the lawyer for the defense.

[11:04] Oh, I do declare.

[11:06] Oh, he's just a simple country lawyer.

[11:09] Dan or me can be the lawyer for the plaintiff, the prosecution.

[11:13] And actually, we should be the prosecution.

[11:14] And for judge, let's say, I guess.

[11:19] Only the Lord can judge us, Elliot.

[11:20] I guess it has to be the Lord.

[11:22] So the Lord will decide at the end of the episode who's right.

[11:25] So, Stuart.

[11:25] Okay.

[11:26] I was going to do the summary for 80 for Brady.

[11:29] But as the defense, you can go first.

[11:31] Would you rather I go through the summary and you defend the movie point by point as we go?

[11:35] Or do you want to give a general overall opening statement about why 80 for Brady is not barely a movie and a waste of everyone's time?

Stuart Wellington

[11:43] See, in this world of complicated entertainment options, sometimes you just want to watch something simple, you know?

[11:51] Maybe a couple old ladies who like football, specifically a football team captained by quarterback Thomas Brady.

[12:00] And a rehashing of his successful Super Bowl experience in Super Bowl, what is that?

[12:07] A million?

[12:08] Which Super Bowl was that?

[12:09] Something.

[12:09] One of the Super Bowls.

Elliott Kalan

[12:10] The one against the Falcons.

Stuart Wellington

[12:11] Now, could that movie also feature the likes of Billy Porter?

[12:17] Guy Fieri?

[12:19] Harry Hamlin?

[12:20] Of course it could.

[12:21] Ron Funches?

[12:22] There's no log in.

[12:23] Everybody's doing shit.

[12:24] Patton Oswalt.

[12:24] I will say.

Elliott Kalan

[12:25] Patton Oswalt's in there a little bit?

[12:25] I did audibly gasp when the opening credits included the name Guy Fieri.

Dan McCoy

[12:32] He's got a larger role in this than I ever could have expected.

Elliott Kalan

[12:36] He deserves that opening credits billing.

[12:38] I think he has as much screen time as Billy Porter, I think, which is objectively strange.

Dan McCoy

[12:44] And more than Bob Balaban.

Elliott Kalan

[12:46] Yeah.

[12:46] Although, Bob Balaban, you do get to see him without pants on, which I haven't seen since the movie Girlfriends, where you briefly get to see him nude.

[12:53] So, that was for Bob Balafans out there.

[12:57] This was a nice moment.

[12:59] You finally got to see what he's hiding under those slacks all this time.

Stuart Wellington

[13:02] So, I feel like I made my point.

[13:04] It's just a fun time of the movies.

[13:06] Check your brain at the door.

[13:08] Uh-huh.

[13:08] Pop some popcorn.

[13:09] Pop some corn.

Elliott Kalan

[13:10] The argument kind of fell apart near the end there.

[13:13] Wow.

Stuart Wellington

[13:13] I didn't realize you were the fucking judge, too, dude.

[13:15] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[13:16] I feel like you make stronger arguments as a Southern lawyer than us.

[13:19] Yeah.

[13:20] So, taking over for the prosecution, I think I will just describe the plot of the movie.

[13:24] And I think the listeners will get the idea.

[13:29] So, the movie begins.

[13:31] It's bought.

[13:31] We're in Boston.

[13:32] It's the 2017 AFC Championship game between Boston and the Steelers.

[13:37] And our ladies, Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field, they are old friends

[13:42] who are getting together to watch the game.

[13:44] And they are superstitious, especially Lily Tomlin as Lou, who's the biggest Pats fan in

[13:49] the house.

[13:50] And they all have to sit in exactly the same places they were and do the exact same things

[13:54] they did when there was a kickoff that led to a victory once.

[13:58] Sally Field is on a ladder changing a light bulb.

[14:00] Lily Tomlin has to spill a bowl of chips.

[14:02] Jane Fonda has to be reading a magazine at a table in the other room.

[14:06] And it's supposed to be heartwarming, but it seemed also like a devastating portrayal of

[14:11] obsessive-compulsive disorder that they're like, if we don't do these exact things, then the Patriots will lose and Tom Brady will die.

[14:19] So, we have to do them.

[14:20] And they all have a crush on Tom Brady.

[14:22] They are all incredibly open to how physically lustful they are for him.

Stuart Wellington

[14:26] Was this before or after he showed up to the Kentucky Derby dressed like Judge Doom?

[14:32] Did he do that?

[14:33] Did he do that?

[14:34] Yeah, yeah.

[14:34] He looked totally like Judge Doom.

[14:36] It's hilarious.

[14:36] With glasses and everything?

[14:37] Yes.

[14:38] That's, I mean, what else would he wear?

[14:40] Like a fucking crazy animated face?

[14:43] And he was followed by cartoon weasels with razor blades and guns?

[14:47] Man, if that's my fucking goal in life, guys, is to have the weasels from Roger Rabbit follow me around and just do my bidding.

[14:55] Granted, they would be bad at it.

[14:56] They wouldn't always succeed.

[14:57] Wait, that's my goal in life.

[14:58] They always screw up.

[14:59] That's my goal in life, yeah.

[15:00] Especially the one in the straight jacket.

[15:01] You're not saying that's your dream.

Dan McCoy

[15:02] You're saying that's your goal.

Stuart Wellington

[15:03] Yeah, it's an aspiration people achieve.

Elliott Kalan

[15:05] Yeah, it's a smart goal.

[15:07] It's a doable thing.

[15:08] It's his five-year plan.

[15:10] By year three, he has those weasels because they help him get to the next two years.

Dan McCoy

[15:13] What happens in the first year of this five-year plan?

[15:18] Five-year plan?

Stuart Wellington

[15:19] This is a 20-year plan, guys.

[15:20] First step, discover, tune, 10.

Dan McCoy

[15:23] Yeah, that's going to take a while.

[15:24] That's my first step.

Elliott Kalan

[15:25] And then it's putting out a want ad in the Toontown Times for looking for weasels.

[15:32] Yes, thank you.

Dan McCoy

[15:32] Jobting baby weasels who you can raise and sort of imprint on you.

[15:38] Yeah, it really is a 20-year plan.

Elliott Kalan

[15:40] So I should mention, I don't know if it's before or after that.

[15:45] I should mention that they all have a crush on Tom Brady except for Jane Fonda,

[15:48] who's a crush on Rob Gronkowski, Tom Brady's teammate,

[15:52] who also knows Gronk.

[15:53] And she writes Gronkowski Erotica, which –

[15:55] at this point in the movie, I assumed was like internet fan fiction.

[15:59] But later on in the film, spoiler, we'll see that it has been published in hardcover.

[16:02] You are proven wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[16:03] And it's for sale at the Super Bowl.

[16:05] Yeah.

[16:06] And she has a dedicated famous.

Dan McCoy

[16:08] I don't think those were licensed resellers.

[16:09] She seemed sort of confused the fact that they – I don't know.

[16:13] She is surprised to see her work there.

Stuart Wellington

[16:15] But she is excited to autograph and then lead a seeded reading of her book.

Elliott Kalan

[16:22] Of her surprisingly tame Gronkowski Erotica, it really doesn't cover the physical act of lovemaking.

[16:28] It just kind of hints at it.

Stuart Wellington

[16:29] Elliot wasn't leaving snail trails after hearing that.

[16:31] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[16:32] Well, I was, but only because I was watching this in the town from Uzumaki.

[16:36] So I had been turned into a snail man.

[16:37] That makes sense.

[16:39] Yeah, yeah.

[16:39] The spiral grew on my shell.

[16:40] Eventually, my family got me home and I was okay.

Stuart Wellington

[16:43] That's the thing.

[16:43] Dan, once you see the fucking spiral, like you can't unsee it and then everything becomes a spiral.

[16:49] It's crazy.

[16:49] Have you read Uzumaki?

Dan McCoy

[16:51] I haven't, but I assume it's like how ever since you've said snail trail, I can't stop thinking about snail trail and getting grossed out.

[17:00] It's kind of like that.

Elliott Kalan

[17:01] I mean, Uzumaki is – as for listeners who know, it's a Japanese manga and it posits that spirals are like Pringles and that once you pop, you can't stop.

[17:10] Once you see one spiral, you got to chase that spiral.

Stuart Wellington

[17:13] That was going to be the tagline on the book cover.

Elliott Kalan

[17:15] And I think my favorite moment in the entire series is when the main character, she has gone through a series of unfortunate events.

[17:21] That's for sure.

[17:22] She's been in the hospital.

[17:25] Her cousin is in the hospital.

[17:27] Her cousin becomes – all the pregnant ladies in the hospital are using hand drills to steal blood from people.

[17:33] Their blood-filled babies, when they're born, can talk and want to return to the womb.

[17:37] And they are – a doctor reinserts a baby into her cousin's womb.

[17:41] The cousin emerges and starts drinking the blood of the doctor.

[17:43] And the main character leaves and the last caption of the chapter is like, I never went back to that hospital.

[17:47] And that's it.

[17:48] It's just like throughout the series, like horrific things happen.

[17:52] And the character goes, that was nuts.

[17:54] And then moves on to the next chapter, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[17:56] Yeah.

[17:57] Yeah, that's why he's the master of modern horror, you know.

[17:59] Oh, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[18:01] So anyway, we learn a little bit about each of our characters.

[18:04] To be – so Lily Tomlin Liu, she had a cancer scare at one point.

[18:08] And being a Patriots fan really got her through it.

[18:10] Jane Fonda, she used to be a spokesmodel for like a department store chain or something like that.

[18:15] And now she writes Gronk Erotica.

[18:18] Rita Moreno, she's a widow and she cannot stop talking about her dead husband.

[18:21] She just misses him so much.

[18:22] And Sally Field is the nerdy math professor who is married to Bob Balaban, who is a very clingy husband who needs her advice on his academic papers.

[18:31] He just cannot function without her giving any advice on his academic papers.

[18:34] He's really holding her back.

Dan McCoy

[18:36] Yeah.

[18:36] And this – I'm glad that you, you know, outlined the characters as such, Elliot, because that's about as far as the movie does.

[18:44] Like if a movie has ever relied on just the simple presence of the performers to give you like a sense of who the people might be.

[18:55] Not even who they are, but like who they might be and for you to like them.

[18:59] It is this film because I – they are all basically ciphers to me.

Elliott Kalan

[19:03] And it takes – and it took me I think 35 minutes to figure out that about their personalities.

[19:08] It is really just – it is like you were watching Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field just walking around being them.

[19:14] You know, acting as if they were themselves aside from these tiny little pieces of character.

Stuart Wellington

[19:18] When 80 for Brady does it, Dan, you don't like it.

[19:22] But when your favorite movie, Birdman, does it and casts Michael Keaton, you're like, oh, yum, yum, yum, gimme.

[19:28] I don't understand the connection between these things.

Elliott Kalan

[19:33] I love that Dan isn't even fighting the idea that Birdman is his favorite movie.

[19:36] That's how off balance you threw him.

[19:40] Dan, Stuart's already won the war while you're still fighting the battle, dude.

[19:45] He has totally, totally made it impossible to see you as a proper judge of anything now.

Dan McCoy

[19:50] I mean I don't hate it like other people do, but I also – it's not one of my favorite films.

Elliott Kalan

[19:56] You didn't even notice he had hit you with the sword until your head fell off.

[19:59] Yeah, because I'm so confused by how they related to one another.

[20:03] What a rhetorical ninja.

[20:05] Anyway, I thought you were going to make the point, Stuart, that the movie is just so full of life that it's seamless.

[20:10] Like a professional magician, you don't even notice the trick is being played, so you think there's no trick.

[20:15] But really it's that there's very little put into these characters.

[20:18] Here's the gist of it.

[20:21] Lily Tomlin wants to go to the Super Bowl to see Tom Brady play, and they can't afford it.

[20:25] Luckily, there's a TV hotline, two Patriots announcers, and this is how lackluster and how lazy this movie is with some of the ways it does things.

[20:32] I didn't even notice until halfway through the movie that one of these sportscasters is Rob Corddry, someone I know personally.

[20:38] Yeah, it's because he did the accent.

[20:40] He has that beautiful Boston accent.

[20:42] But I've heard him do that Boston accent before.

[20:44] But I realized I was like, wait a minute.

[20:46] Were there no close-up shots of either of these two characters or just one of them?

[20:50] Like I couldn't tell, but it was way through the movie that I realized that it was Corddry.

[20:54] Maybe that's because he disappears into the character.

Dan McCoy

[20:58] Yeah, so this is supposed to be like a local sports show, I guess.

[21:04] Yes, but it has a national reach.

[21:06] Yeah, because it's shot like it's an internet show.

[21:12] The graphics are very internet-y.

[21:15] That was part of the confusion.

[21:16] I'm like, is this something that is popular or is this like a local radio station?

[21:22] I cannot tell.

[21:23] It also seems to come on right after the game too.

Elliott Kalan

[21:25] They don't change the channel, I don't think.

[21:27] So here's the thing.

[21:28] This movie, okay, it's set in 2017.

[21:30] But I think what it really is is very sharply positing the future that the Writers Guild is trying to fight against.

[21:37] In which all of entertainment is collapsed into one thing.

[21:41] There are no standards.

[21:43] There are no professionals.

[21:44] A local internet web series is also a national sportscasting thing.

[21:49] Your mom's gronk erotica that she's writing in her living room as a hobby is also a major bestseller published in hardcover.

[21:56] There's no difference between professional and amateur.

[21:59] None of us get paid for any of it because the machines have taken it from us.

[22:03] That's what the Guild is trying to fight against.

[22:05] And 80 for Brady, I realize now, is a chilling vision of that future.

[22:08] So, Stuart, maybe you're right.

[22:10] Maybe there's more to this movie than I thought there was.

[22:11] Yeah.

[22:12] I guess we got to apologize.

[22:14] Anyway, they-

[22:14] Well, I mean, we can do that during the final judgment.

[22:17] Yeah, yeah.

[22:17] You guys apologize to me.

[22:19] Anyway, they decide to enter the contest.

[22:20] That's the gist of what's happening there.

[22:22] Mm-hmm.

[22:22] Rita Moreno, she lives at a senior center.

Stuart Wellington

[22:26] Even though I believe she has her own home, she stays there because that's where her husband was.

Elliott Kalan

[22:31] Oh, that's what it was.

[22:32] Okay.

[22:32] I couldn't quite understand why she was living there.

[22:33] And she is consistently not getting that Glenn Terman, another person there, wants her bad.

[22:41] And it's like, that's Glenn Terman.

[22:42] He was married to Aretha Franklin.

[22:43] Like, go for it.

[22:44] You know?

[22:45] Like, he's a great catch.

Dan McCoy

[22:47] I was glad to see that he had survived the gremlin attack that he had been through.

[22:53] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[22:53] I mean, he's been in many things since gremlins.

[22:57] But I'm glad that, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[22:58] But most remarried Dan saw him in gremlins.

[23:02] Yeah, most recently.

Elliott Kalan

[23:02] Okay, because he was the mayor of Baltimore for quite some time, you know, in television.

[23:08] So, but that's, yeah, it's good.

[23:09] It is good that he survived the gremlin attack.

[23:11] I think that that.

[23:12] I love the idea that this is now canon to me is that's the same character.

Dan McCoy

[23:17] Yeah.

[23:18] He was a science teacher, you know.

[23:20] He was stabbed with some sort of hypodermic.

[23:23] But you know what?

[23:24] He survived.

[23:25] Maybe it just really slowed his heart down or whatever.

[23:27] And now, you know, he's seen some things in his time and he's retired.

Elliott Kalan

[23:31] And he's since moved to New England and is retired.

[23:34] Yeah.

[23:34] That's great.

[23:35] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[23:35] I think that that sticks in my head from childhood so much because it was one of the first times I saw in, like, a movie where, like, a character who was not bad, per se, like, just got killed in a horror thing.

[23:50] And, like, it was just sort of casually, like, oh, well, there's his body.

[23:54] He's got a hypodermic in his butt.

[23:56] And then you don't see it happen, right?

[23:56] And you don't see it.

Elliott Kalan

[23:57] Like, you don't really see the moment when he dies.

[23:58] They just, they find his body.

[23:59] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[24:00] And, you know.

[24:01] And you're like, bad things could happen.

[24:04] It's all just chaos, right?

[24:05] To me, right now.

[24:06] Yeah.

[24:06] It's chaos.

[24:07] There's no moral scales in this universe.

[24:12] There's no good.

[24:12] There's no evil.

[24:13] There's just man.

[24:14] There's just brainy.

[24:15] No gods, no masters.

Elliott Kalan

[24:16] Yeah, there's no, and I do like the idea that Marita Moreno's like, well, you know, ever since my husband died, he's like, I understand, I understand.

[24:24] You know, little laughing reptilian creatures with big ears once attacked the school that I worked at.

[24:31] So I get what it's like.

[24:32] I get it.

[24:33] So anyway, it turns out that we see a flashback where they stumbled on their first Tom Brady game when Lily Tomlin's character was going through chemotherapy.

[24:44] And she was ready to give up, I guess, on life.

[24:48] But then Tom Brady's persistence on the field and his ability to come back really inspired her.

[24:54] And she's ready to give up on this contest.

[24:55] They're never going to win.

[24:57] When a Tom Brady bobblehead, in maybe the most frightening moment in the movie, starts telling her, let's go.

[25:03] And it's a, this is the first time that we see this character hallucinate Tom Brady, giving her advice personally.

[25:09] And it opens up a door to a more interesting movie that I wish they had followed with.

[25:14] That's kind of like a, kind of like a Harvey, except instead of Harvey the rabbit, it's Tom Brady that is her imaginary friend.

Dan McCoy

[25:20] Yeah.

[25:21] I don't know if you're like, it's a little later in the movie.

[25:23] I don't know if you're getting to it.

[25:24] There's like a scene where we get to actually see them all, see Tom Brady for the first time.

[25:28] And I don't know if this bothered you guys, but they were all immediately like, oh, you know, he's so cute.

[25:33] He's so, I mean, like, and I've, you know, I looked up Tom Brady at that point in the movie.

[25:38] I mean, you see his full face later on, but I was like.

[25:40] Sure, yeah.

[25:41] I look him up.

[25:41] I'm like, oh yeah, he's a, he's a handsome man.

[25:44] But right now he has a big helmet on and like the little like black marks under his eyes.

[25:52] I mean, some people love that.

[25:53] Dan, just look at international sex symbol, Judge Dredd.

[25:56] Yeah, a man in uniform, dude.

[25:57] I just, I don't think the shot that they used in the film indicated that like, his face was fully obscured.

[26:05] Here's the thing, Dan.

Elliott Kalan

[26:06] Here's the thing, Dan.

[26:07] Tom Brady, this movie takes it for granted that you are already on board with Tom Brady being a god who strides the earth like a colossus.

[26:14] As everything a man could hope to be, want to be, and work towards and fail to achieve because he's a semi-divine being.

[26:20] The movie just takes that for granted and does not bother to build it up.

[26:23] And at a certain point, I mean, Tom Brady is a producer on this movie, which is.

[26:27] Which, so at some point I was like, I want to know, did he develop this or did they just attach him like, did he say, well, I'm going to be a producer if I'm in it?

[26:35] Because if he developed it, then it is essentially like a vanity piece about him being so great.

[26:40] He's like, it's like, like, it's rare that you see a movie where someone produces a movie.

[26:45] Like being John Malkovich.

[26:46] Well, but except in being John Malkovich, John Malkovich portrays himself as a jerk.

[26:50] He's a creep and a jerk.

[26:51] What?

[26:53] It's the most, the most heroic thing he does in the movie is he, is he find, is he's very polite when he's finding out what colored towels are available when he's ordering them over the phone.

[27:02] But it's the, it's, it's very strange to see a movie produced by somebody that's all about what a great person they are.

[27:08] And like, that's what Tommy Wiseau does.

[27:10] Like it's a, it's so that the movie takes it for granted that you are already a huge fan of Tom Brady.

[27:16] Like that you already know who he is, what he looks like, that you're all, you're aware of his history and you think he's the best already.

[27:23] They, they don't, a character never kind of like has to explain what, what it is that makes Tom Brady great until I guess the very end when Lily Tomlin gives her inspiring motivational speech.

[27:32] Well, we'll get to that.

Dan McCoy

[27:33] Can I say a little bit?

[27:34] So.

[27:35] Cause you thought it was the Brady Bunch.

Elliott Kalan

[27:36] You thought originally this movie was about the Brady Bunch, but there's 80 kids.

[27:40] By the way.

[27:40] 84.

[27:41] 84 kids.

Dan McCoy

[27:42] Off of this, what little I know about the production.

Elliott Kalan

[27:45] 84, you thought it was called 84 Brady's.

[27:47] Yeah.

[27:47] Yes.

[27:47] Like 101 Dalmatians.

[27:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[27:50] What little I know of the production is, you know, at the end of this thing, they show like four women and they're like inspired by a true story.

[27:57] And they're truly using inspired in the, like, the, the, the, the sense of like, oh, I saw a thing and it inspired me.

[28:05] Like, like, like the connection is there was an over 80 for Tom Brady club that developed with some women and they went to the Superbowl at one point.

[28:18] And that's it.

[28:19] It's all you need to make a movie.

[28:21] I guess so.

[28:23] Uh, again, it really is.

Stuart Wellington

[28:24] And these women hung out with Guy Fieri.

[28:27] No.

[28:27] They did a dance.

Dan McCoy

[28:29] None of the shenanigans happened.

[28:30] It just happened to be that there were some elderly women who likes Tom Brady.

[28:34] So, wait.

[28:35] And they're like, oh, that could be a cute movie.

[28:37] Why?

[28:39] Why?

Elliott Kalan

[28:39] So, you don't like it that this movie played fast and loose with the facts.

[28:42] But when your favorite movie, Birdman, posits that Michael Keaton had a psychotic break while starring on Broadway, something that never happened.

[28:49] I know.

[28:50] You're okay with that.

[28:50] You're fine.

[28:51] Give it the best picture.

[28:52] The best movie of the year, you say.

Dan McCoy

[28:54] Elliot, play faster and looser with the facts because so little happens in this film that essentially it is, I guess, in the spirit of like, yeah.

[29:04] So, which one is it, Dan?

[29:05] I don't know why I'm on Stuart's side all of a sudden.

Elliott Kalan

[29:07] Which one is it, Dan?

[29:08] Did they deviate from the facts too much?

[29:11] Or is there nothing happening in the movie?

[29:13] You can't have it both ways.

Stuart Wellington

[29:14] I'm playing the game.

Dan McCoy

[29:15] I'm saying that it's not a premise for a film.

[29:18] Also, over 80 for Tom Brady, while clunky at least makes sense as a cinema.

[29:23] Whereas 80 for Brady, it's like 80 what for Brady?

[29:26] What are we giving him 80 of?

Elliott Kalan

[29:27] Well, that's when they blew the rest of the dust off the book.

[29:29] It said how to cook 80 for Brady.

[29:31] Oh, no.

[29:33] Yeah.

[29:33] So, anyway, or how to serve 80 for Brady.

[29:36] I apologize.

[29:37] Anyway, so Lily revealed –

[29:39] He's insatiable.

Dan McCoy

[29:40] I apologize to the grave of Rod Serling.

Elliott Kalan

[29:44] And the writers of the Treehouse of Horror episode that referenced it.

[29:49] So, Lily Tomlin, she reveals to her friends that she won the tickets.

[29:52] And you're like, why wasn't there a scene where she won?

[29:55] Well, you'll find out, movie-going fans.

[29:57] Because it's very obvious what she's doing.

[29:59] She says they won the tickets.

Stuart Wellington

[30:01] Her object work in this scene, and in a lot of scenes, is kind of funny.

[30:05] Because she seems so annoyed to have to do anything that she's like, oh, I'll just pull this stuff out of this.

[30:10] Who cares?

[30:11] And she's like dropping things.

[30:12] It's really great.

[30:13] I like it.

Elliott Kalan

[30:13] Yeah.

[30:14] She has a gender reveal box to reveal the tickets.

[30:18] And they're like, what?

[30:19] A boy?

[30:20] Or what?

[30:20] And she's like, it's not a gender reveal.

[30:21] It's just a reveal.

[30:22] And, yeah, she seems very annoyed at the props they've handled her.

[30:24] It's great.

[30:25] It's so good.

[30:26] Which is, it's a little flash of the real Lily Tomlin, which I enjoy.

[30:29] So, Jane Fonda breaks up with her boyfriend, and Lily Tomlin cheers her up.

[30:34] And we're introduced.

Stuart Wellington

[30:36] I like this scene, because this is a, I think this is one of the only scenes where Jane Fonda has, she's a, you know, she's a, she's somewhat image obsessed.

[30:47] She has this large collection of wigs.

[30:49] She's always, every time she goes out, she's all done up.

[30:52] And this is, this scene, she has no wig at all.

[30:55] Her hair is very short.

[30:56] She has no, she has less makeup on.

[30:59] Minimal makeup.

[30:59] And it's good.

[31:00] Yeah, it's really cool.

Elliott Kalan

[31:02] Yeah.

[31:02] You get to see, you get to see her unshielded by, by the thing, the barriers she puts up between her and the world.

[31:08] They, they, they're going to, they've got to go to the, they've got to go catch the plane to get to, is it Texas where the game is being held?

Stuart Wellington

[31:15] I think it's Texas, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[31:16] And, but they've got a problem.

[31:18] Rita Moreno has fallen asleep while Glenn Turman is talking to her.

[31:21] She took the medication that Jimmy O. Yang, as a, as the, one of the aides at the, at the retirement home has given her.

[31:27] So they've got to go and they can't wake her up for some reason.

[31:30] So they, well, for the whole, this bullshit reason.

Dan McCoy

[31:33] Sorry, don't skim over it.

[31:34] Cause this is one of the things that annoyed me the most where it's like, they try and make a bit out of it.

[31:39] But I'm like, even if you make a bit out of it, this makes no sense.

[31:41] Whereas like we take sleeping very seriously here.

[31:45] And Jimmy O. Yang's just trying to get a little more screen time and you're hating on him over here.

[31:49] Sleeping seriously.

[31:50] Which, you know, another movie could be funny, but I'm busy being angry.

[31:54] Like you just say to someone, we're going to miss a plane, a flight.

[32:00] Like you don't, they will not wake someone up under those circumstances.

Elliott Kalan

[32:07] We don't know.

[32:07] If they did, maybe that would lead to a comically exaggerated situation, which would lead to laughter.

[32:12] If Jimmy O. Yang refuses to allow any, they're coming up with greater and greater catastrophes that are happening.

[32:18] And that's why they need to wake her up and he's refusing, but they don't do that.

Stuart Wellington

[32:21] Instead, they trick him into showing pictures of pugs, which he's a pug enthusiast.

[32:26] This is one of those things.

[32:27] That's a character trait.

Elliott Kalan

[32:27] It's such a random thrown in thing.

[32:31] And it made me so mad that it was like, we've already established that Jimmy O. Yang's cat, and Jimmy O. Yang is fine in this movie.

[32:36] I like him in a lot of stuff.

[32:38] But we've established that he takes his job very seriously at this old folks' home.

[32:43] That's his character trait.

[32:44] Use that in a funny way to distract him.

[32:47] Out of nowhere, they introduce the idea that he is a pug owner who is so attracted to Jane Fonda's character that she hits on him and asks to see pictures of his dog.

[32:56] And that's enough to distract him.

[32:58] They wheel Rita Moreno out.

[32:59] But then Glenn Turman announces, what, that Pat Sajak is in the building, which itself feels like a dated reference for things old people like.

[33:08] But maybe they still like him.

[33:09] But I think he still hosts the show.

[33:11] Yeah.

[33:12] And they sneak around and she wakes up in the car.

[33:14] Oh, boy.

Stuart Wellington

[33:14] I do like when she wakes up in the car and they're like, we're going to the Super Bowl.

[33:19] And she's like, what?

[33:20] I have to say.

Elliott Kalan

[33:21] That's one of two moments that Rita Moreno has in this movie that I laughed at.

[33:25] But luckily, they have overcome this gatekeeper.

[33:28] Joseph Campbell's 80 for Brady story structure continues to hold that they have reached past.

[33:33] They're now to the next portal as they get to the place where they will gain knowledge they will then bring back with them.

[33:38] They overcome it.

Dan McCoy

[33:40] But that's part of my problem with this movie, right?

[33:43] Like, the normal version of this movie, or not normal.

[33:48] Let's not use the term normal, Dan.

[33:50] Yeah.

[33:50] The typical version of this movie would be more of a road trip film, right?

[33:56] Yes, yes.

[33:57] Yeah.

[33:57] Like, what confuses me by this movie is it sets itself up like it's going to be a road trip movie.

[34:05] And, like, that lends itself to this sort of ramshackle structure it wants to have where it's just like a bunch of encounters, a bunch of shenanigans.

[34:13] A Muppets movie type thing.

[34:14] Yeah.

[34:15] And so in another movie, like, maybe they would miss their flight because of this and then would have to cobble together ways to get to the Super Bowl where then they would have more obstacles to get over.

[34:25] Blah, blah, blah.

[34:26] This movie, they have this easily surmountable obstacle at the beginning.

[34:31] They fly to where the Super Bowl is going to be.

[34:35] They have a bunch of unrelated shenanigans in that area that have nothing to do with, like, the central thing, really.

[34:44] And then they have problems losing the ticket.

[34:47] We'll get to it.

Stuart Wellington

[34:48] You know, the thing is, Dan, maybe it is inspired by a true story.

[34:51] So maybe they're dedicated to just telling the real story.

Elliott Kalan

[34:54] They said, we wish that we could have had them miss the flight.

[34:56] That would have been really funny, opened up a lot of comic opportunities.

[34:59] But the real ladies did not miss their flight.

[35:00] No, no.

[35:02] Yeah.

[35:02] We had to stick to the facts, you know.

Dan McCoy

[35:04] Yeah.

[35:04] Their flight was very nice.

[35:06] In real life, it actually got in a little early, which is always wonderful.

[35:11] You know, you can pull that off if the wins are with you.

[35:14] Yeah.

[35:15] Yeah.

[35:15] The wins are a winner.

Elliott Kalan

[35:16] They said, we have to follow.

[35:17] Look, we made this movie.

[35:18] We made a promise that we'd follow Vera Chitalova's law that you have to tell the truth on film.

[35:23] You've got to be honest.

[35:24] And so that's what we did.

[35:26] But I think the—

Dan McCoy

[35:27] Anytime there was any conflict or drama that threatened to break out, we said, no, no.

[35:32] That didn't happen.

[35:33] That wouldn't be truthful.

Elliott Kalan

[35:33] Now, here's—I think you're right.

[35:36] If this was a stronger movie, they would have obstacles that were real obstacles, and it would be funny to see them overcome them.

[35:41] I think, one, there's something about the idea of watching these performers face the indignity of having to go through acting out, overcoming those obstacles.

[35:51] That is, makes me cringe inside.

[35:53] And so it's like, in this movie, nothing much happens.

[35:56] They just skate through it.

[35:57] But I'm also kind of like, you know what?

[35:58] I don't want to see these—I love these performers.

[36:01] All four of the leading ladies in this movie, I feel like I am a fan of.

[36:04] I've loved their work.

[36:05] I think they're good.

Stuart Wellington

[36:06] And I kind of—

[36:07] Dan, don't get—Dane's about to get weird.

[36:09] Just calm—just tamp it down.

[36:10] We're doing a podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[36:12] The idea of seeing them go through, like, scenes in a bad movie where they have to really exert themselves is kind of pain.

[36:18] If it was a good movie, I'd be like, yeah.

[36:20] Yeah.

[36:20] The idea that in a bad movie they would have to, like—

[36:22] Even later when they're, like—

[36:24] I like that they're not—

[36:24] They have to do a dance routine.

[36:25] I like that they're not exerting themselves that much.

[36:28] Yes, even when they have to, like, do a dance routine, it is not a comically overwrought dance routine where it looks like they might hurt themselves.

[36:34] It's just kind of them shuffling around.

[36:36] And I'm like, you know what?

[36:37] They've earned it at this point.

[36:38] I honestly—

[36:39] It does also make it a bad movie, though.

Dan McCoy

[36:41] I agree with you on that.

[36:43] I think you could still have that sort of breezy skating through attitude while having, you know, like a story that sort of hangs together.

[36:51] And yet, in your favorite movie, Birdman, it does not hang together particularly.

[36:56] It does not.

[36:57] Yeah, the unexpected benefit of not hanging together.

[37:01] Is that what—

Elliott Kalan

[37:01] Something like that.

[37:02] Mm-hmm.

[37:03] So the ladies fly off to the Super Bowl.

[37:08] It's just a lot of little sketch scenes.

[37:10] Sally Fields never flirted before, and she tries to flirt with their driver.

[37:15] They all have to share a hotel room, and the hotel is just decorated with stand-up cardboard standees of football players, and they lust all over them.

[37:22] And Lily Tomlin, she goes into another fugue state, you know, the Tom Brady one.

[37:26] And it appears to be talking to her.

[37:29] That night, Lily Tomlin gets a call from her daughter, played by Sarah Gilbert.

[37:33] I was very excited to see her.

[37:35] I get somewhat like—I feel like I'm going to—look, we said it already that the ladies that are beautiful.

[37:39] A lot of crushes in this movie.

[37:40] When I was a kid, huge crush on Sarah Gilbert when she was on Roseanne when I was a kid.

[37:44] Yeah, of course.

[37:45] Yeah, and dark-haired, sarcastic girl.

Stuart Wellington

[37:46] Was she the writer of the comics or the—yeah, she was the writer, and David was the artist, right?

[37:52] For sure.

Elliott Kalan

[37:53] Yeah.

[37:53] David wasn't going to be able to think of those things.

[37:55] He was kind of a lunkhead.

[37:56] You know, he's like a nerdy lunkhead, but he's kind of a lunkhead.

Stuart Wellington

[37:58] But that lunkhead made a lot of money on that Big Bang Theory, so—

Elliott Kalan

[38:03] Well, again, this is the character I'm talking about, not the actor.

[38:07] Right.

[38:07] But anyway, so she's Lily Tomlin's daughter.

[38:09] She goes, the hospital's been trying to get in touch with you.

[38:11] Where are you?

[38:12] Oh, I went to New Hampshire with the girls.

[38:13] Oh, that sounds nice.

[38:14] Anyway, you should call back the hospital.

[38:15] They have test results for you.

[38:17] And—

[38:17] So we have a ticking clock.

Stuart Wellington

[38:19] What more do you guys want?

Elliott Kalan

[38:21] Yeah, we have a—the next morning, everyone decides.

[38:23] An unrelated ticking clock.

[38:25] Yeah, it's not related to anything that's going on.

[38:27] It's a thematic ticking clock, and it's not even really a ticking clock because we never actually see the result.

[38:32] Spoiler alert, we never get the results of those tests.

[38:34] It doesn't matter.

[38:35] It's like the bowling tournament in Big Lebowski.

[38:38] It's just—it's not real.

Dan McCoy

[38:39] We can get by implication what it was, but yeah, it's never said—

Stuart Wellington

[38:43] It's the opening of Philadelphia's largest building.

[38:46] I get it.

[38:46] Yes, thank you.

Elliott Kalan

[38:48] Yeah, in that it is—in that we are being so teased.

[38:51] We were given such narrative blue balls by what's going to happen with that.

[38:54] Oh, the opening of Philadelphia's largest building.

[38:57] You know—

[38:58] When James McAvoy goes, and now, to go to the building, and then they tackle him again.

[39:03] He just never gets there.

[39:05] Anyway, so it's morning.

[39:08] Everyone decides, Sally Field, you are the most responsible of us.

[39:11] You hold the tickets.

[39:12] And she puts them in her fanny pack, which she refers to as a strap-on, which leads to a comical paul reaction from a waitress.

[39:18] Oh, hell yeah, right.

Dan McCoy

[39:20] Yeah, this is a joke that's repeated multiple times and failed to get funnier.

[39:25] It fails.

Elliott Kalan

[39:26] It doesn't really necessarily work.

[39:27] Although, I will say, not since the bird that has a funny reaction to James Bond's boat that turns into a car has there been a more shoveled-in reaction from an actor in a movie.

[39:40] They literally cut away to a waitress who goes, hmm?

[39:43] And has wide eyes when she wears a strap-on.

[39:45] We never see that extra again.

[39:47] We never see—

[39:48] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[39:48] I wish there was a bulldog or something in there that would do a take.

[39:52] Yeah.

[39:53] Obviously, I wish that later on, with this whole strap-on joke, that she would mention her strap-on and somebody would pull out a big old strap-on.

Elliott Kalan

[40:00] Sure, of course.

[40:01] That would—

[40:02] I mean, not—

[40:02] Not to use, Dan.

[40:04] It's a joke, dude.

[40:05] As a capper.

[40:05] I'm not the one being weird.

[40:07] So she can understand why people have been thinking it's weird all that time.

[40:10] Yeah.

[40:11] It's a joke that has no payoff.

[40:13] Except, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[40:14] I just want to say that I'm glad that you elevated that pigeon to the level of actor when you made a comparison.

Elliott Kalan

[40:21] I mean, technically, it is a piece of stock footage of a pigeon that I think they reversed, so it looks like it's moving its head.

[40:26] Yeah, like three times.

[40:27] It does look like a triple take.

[40:28] But look, Dan, I want all writers to be recognized for their work.

[40:32] I want all actors to be recognized for their work.

[40:34] Sure.

[40:34] And that means sometimes animal actors, too, even if it's just stock footage that has then been manipulated.

[40:40] In a sort of Kuleshov effect moment where it looks like it's reacting to something.

[40:43] Okay, so they go to the NFL pregame experience.

[40:46] Now, my only experience with one of these events was when the Writers Guild Awards was held the same weekend that the Super Bowl was in the New York area.

[40:53] And I had to wade my way through the intense crowds of Times Square to get to the Edison Ballroom.

[40:59] And it was maybe the scariest moment of my entire life.

[41:02] And I've flown in helicopters over Afghanistan when there was an active war going on for a week.

[41:07] It's not like I served there.

[41:08] And this was the scariest moment of my life was wading through these crowds and feeling like if this crowd decides it wants to go in a different direction, there is nothing I can do about that.

[41:16] I am just going to be swept away, maybe never to be seen again.

[41:19] But this NFL experience is a little bit less.

Stuart Wellington

[41:21] Yeah.

[41:21] That's like when I go to Gen Con and I'm there for the opening of the vendor hall and everybody wants to get all the cool new games right away.

[41:29] And I'm right up front every time.

[41:31] Exactly.

[41:31] I just want to be carried away, swept away into that big hall of games.

Elliott Kalan

[41:35] And this NFL experience is a little bit lower key.

[41:39] It's a little bit more modest.

[41:40] They each have their adventures.

[41:41] Lily Tomlin defeats a Falcons fan in a football tossing contest and then becomes like a football tossing hustler.

[41:48] With her hype man, Rita Moreno.

[41:50] Yes, Rita Moreno is her hype man.

[41:52] And Rita Moreno is betting on all of it because Rita Moreno, we now learn her second character trait, that she is an excellent gambler.

[41:57] Her husband was a gambler who was bad at it, but Rita Moreno was the good gambler in the family.

Stuart Wellington

[42:02] I did like the joke when the guy running the stall is like, hey, no betting, but I actually don't care that much about my job, so you can do it.

[42:10] Yeah, that was a good joke.

Elliott Kalan

[42:12] That was funny.

[42:12] Jane Fonda, her Gronk Erotica book is on sale in hardcover, and she finds there's a lot of fans there, and she holds a reading of it.

[42:19] And Sally Field enters Guy Fieri, as they insist on pronouncing his name, because I guess that's how he pronounces it.

[42:24] That's how he pronounces it.

[42:24] No, yeah.

[42:26] But it did stick out every time since the average American says Fieri, although I'm sure Fieri is the proper way to say it.

Dan McCoy

[42:33] Yeah, it's definitely a situation where he told everyone, and they're like, okay, we want to respect.

[42:40] That's fine, yeah.

[42:42] But it does seem odd, because other than – I've never heard it pronounced that way other than on My Brother, My Brother and Me, where they overpronounce it correctly as a goof.

[42:53] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[42:53] So when Sally Field is running around – running past each of the outhouses or the port-a-johns saying, Mr. Fieri, Mr. Fieri, it feels very false.

[43:02] Anyway, Sally Field, she enters a Guy Fieri-hosted spicy wings contest, which she easily dominates.

Stuart Wellington

[43:09] She just destroys.

[43:10] She crushes everyone.

[43:11] Because she's hungry.

[43:12] She wants to eat some wings.

Dan McCoy

[43:13] You guys, for me, Sally Field is the MVP of the four of them in this.

[43:18] Very much so.

[43:18] Most valuable performer, yeah.

[43:20] And she – like, you know, the stuff that I did find charming was mostly her and, like, her sort of lack of – just, like, blasé attitude during eating all of this, like, hot food.

Stuart Wellington

[43:32] Yeah, like eating hot sauces called, like, the devil's taint and stuff like that.

Dan McCoy

[43:35] It's very funny, but not in, like, a – not in, like, a I'm cool, I'm eating all of this way.

[43:41] Like, oh, I'm – you know, I'm so good at eating hot food.

[43:43] As a, like, she genuinely is just, like, really hungry.

[43:46] How would they have shown that?

[43:47] Like, with, like, Dutch angles and stuff?

[43:48] Yeah.

[43:50] I'm just saying that the joke could have been, like, I'm so cool.

[43:55] And, like, in some ways, that was kind of the Lily Tomlin joke of, like, yeah, you don't expect her to be good at this, but she's, like –

[44:01] Guess what?

[44:02] She's actually amazing.

[44:03] Whereas there's just something about the –

[44:05] The casualness that Sally Field has.

Stuart Wellington

[44:07] And also the casualness in which Sally Field throws down on these wings.

[44:12] Yeah.

[44:13] Yeah.

[44:13] If you see, there's a lot of scenes of these women getting big plates of football food in front of them.

[44:18] And at no point do you see Jane Fonda even come within a –

[44:21] She doesn't even look at the food.

[44:22] A mile of taking a bite.

[44:24] But Sally Field's, like, getting it all over her face.

Elliott Kalan

[44:26] Yeah, give me those wings, she says.

[44:28] I mean, she's – there's a part later on where Sally Field is dancing.

[44:30] In my notes, I say, Sally Field is adorable.

[44:33] Like, it's –

[44:33] Yeah, she's great.

[44:34] She definitely –

[44:35] None of them come off badly from this.

[44:37] But she – I think maybe because Sally Field, like –

[44:39] I don't have a sense of, like, her as a persona.

[44:42] As a – like, she plays different roles.

[44:44] Whereas Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Reed Moreno, I have a persona in my mind for what they're like as a –

[44:48] They're ur-character that travels between roles.

[44:51] But Sally Field, I don't.

[44:52] And Sally Field really, like –

[44:53] There's a part of me that's like, I bet this is what Sally Field is like.

[44:56] If not, it's an amazing acting job because it feels so natural.

[44:59] But I bet she's just like a cute, lovable person, you know?

[45:01] Well, I did –

[45:02] Who loves wings.

[45:03] I did see –

[45:04] Who just cannot –

[45:04] Can't get enough.

[45:05] Can't stop shoving wings in her mouth.

[45:07] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[45:07] I did see a fair amount of, like, promotion for this get passed around on the internet.

[45:14] Okay.

[45:14] Like, interviews of these actresses talking to one another.

Stuart Wellington

[45:19] On your Cougar Reddit board that you visit.

Dan McCoy

[45:22] As you can imagine, like, they're just very fun to see.

[45:27] You know, Gene Siskel had that famous thing where it's like, is this movie more or less interesting than these performers just hanging out and having lunch together?

[45:38] And it's much less interesting than that.

[45:40] The movie is much less interesting than these interviews where you just get to see the real people and Sally Field, I would say, is sort of charmingly grumpy.

[45:48] She's, like, lovably kind of, like –

[45:50] Sounds great.

[45:51] Yeah, prickly.

Elliott Kalan

[45:52] I believe that.

[45:53] I mean, it is only occurring to me now, which is amazing.

[45:56] I think this is the reunion of Jane Fonda and Lily Tom.

[45:59] Like, have they not worked together since 9 to 5 or did they work together in between the two?

[46:03] Oh.

[46:03] Like, that should be a bigger thing that is exciting to me and yet it's not.

Stuart Wellington

[46:07] No, they work together all the time.

[46:09] They're on, what, Grace and Frankie?

[46:10] Oh, that's right.

[46:11] They did Grace and Frankie together.

Elliott Kalan

[46:12] That's right.

[46:12] They work together all the time.

[46:13] I never watch that show because I don't want to watch anything Baron Vaughn is on.

Stuart Wellington

[46:16] Yeah, you don't support the LGBTQ movement.

Elliott Kalan

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:20] If Baron Vaughn's doing something that's not Mystery Science Theater, I'm like, traitor, I'm not going to watch this.

[46:24] But –

[46:25] So I forgot.

[46:26] They work together all the time.

[46:27] They had their reunion.

[46:28] Never mind.

[46:28] So no wonder with this, it's nothing special to see them together.

[46:31] Anyway.

[46:31] I mean, yeah, it is.

Stuart Wellington

[46:32] It's always special to see the two of them together.

[46:34] They're great.

Dan McCoy

[46:34] Yeah, just like it's special for all of us to see one another together.

[46:38] Yeah, that's right.

Elliott Kalan

[46:39] Old friends.

[46:41] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:41] Eventually we'll be in as fruit friends as the wind blows.

[46:46] As friends as the grass.

Stuart Wellington

[46:47] I can only hope that when we're like 80, we'll be doing a movie or a podcast where we really want to see some sports figure that's half our age.

Elliott Kalan

[46:56] Yeah.

[46:56] I mean, when we're 80, probably less than half our age, probably.

[47:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[47:00] I mean, it depends on the sports figure.

[47:02] Maybe it's a golfer.

[47:03] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[47:04] A golfer who is slightly older than us.

[47:06] Yeah, yeah.

[47:07] Yeah.

[47:07] So they all have those.

[47:09] And during this Wings contest, Sally Field does something that doesn't make any sense, but we know it has to be done for the plot.

[47:17] She takes off her strap-on, which has the tickets in it.

[47:20] And it is so telegraphed that this is something that's going to be a plot device.

[47:23] But anyway, also Jane Fonda, she's approached by a fan of her erotica.

[47:27] That's right, it's Perseus himself, Harry Hamlin, as Dan Callahan, a former Super Bowl champ.

[47:34] And he is totally into her.

[47:35] He recognizes her as a former spokesmodel for what I had assumed was a local chain of stores.

[47:40] But I guess as a national chain, again, there's no sense of frame of reference in this.

[47:45] Everything exists at the level of everything.

Stuart Wellington

[47:47] He might have played football for the local team.

[47:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[47:53] For the local team.

[47:55] You know, I also played for the local team.

[47:57] And they're all hanging out with Guy Fieri.

[48:01] They're invited to a big party by Harry Hamlin.

[48:04] And Guy Fieri is like, you gotta go.

[48:06] I'm gonna be there.

[48:06] It's the biggest party about the Super Bowl.

[48:09] And they go at the party.

[48:11] They lazily are handed and accidentally take pot gummies by,

[48:15] is it the host of the party's teenage daughter or college-age daughter?

[48:19] Why is she there?

[48:20] She doesn't seem to want to be there.

[48:22] She's not dressed up for a fancy party.

Stuart Wellington

[48:23] I mean, maybe she's paid to be there.

[48:25] You never know.

Dan McCoy

[48:26] Makes sense, that's true.

[48:27] She's a gummy service girl.

[48:28] She just does gummy service, yeah.

[48:30] In one of these, we accidentally had pot scenes.

[48:35] Like usually it's-

[48:35] Like that movie, we accidentally bought a zoo.

[48:37] Yeah.

[48:38] Because we accidentally had pot.

[48:42] Man, I was so high last night, I bought a zoo.

[48:44] Can you believe it, man?

Elliott Kalan

[48:49] You gotta be real high to buy a zoo, man.

[48:53] You ever been that high?

[48:55] You ever been so high that you're still high while you apply for the loan,

[48:58] while you fill out the paperwork,

[49:01] you get licensing from the state, man, and you're still high.

Dan McCoy

[49:04] There's so many rare animals.

[49:07] They don't just let you have that.

[49:08] No.

Elliott Kalan

[49:09] I was high the whole time.

[49:11] I was so high, I learned how to take care of a cassowary.

[49:14] I didn't, I didn't, I wake up, I come out of it, man, and I'm feeding a cassowary.

[49:19] I'm like, how high was I?

[49:21] I guess I'm, I guess this, I guess that's my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my SNL character.

[49:29] Yeah, that's my, that's my, so I guess I'm going with the guy who wandered into,

[49:32] the guy who's high and wandered into Super Bowl.

[49:33] Man, I'm just glad I wandered into a Super Bowl party this time,

[49:36] because last time I was high, I bought a zoo.

Dan McCoy

[49:40] Anyway, the point is.

[49:42] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[49:42] I wake up, I wake up, and I'm laying out food for a scarlet ibis,

[49:47] and I'm like, what, what did I do?

[49:49] Luckily, it's mostly birds, as I said, exotic birds, cassowaries, scarlet ibises.

[49:54] We've got cormorants.

[49:55] Yeah, we've got all sorts of birds.

[49:57] Oh, man.

[49:57] We've got a, we've got a, we've got a spoonbill.

Dan McCoy

[50:00] Oh, wow.

[50:01] We've got a hornbill.

[50:03] Oh, man, what did I do last night?

[50:05] And for the past four years, it took me to go to zoo school.

Elliott Kalan

[50:09] I come out of this high man, and I am in the middle of receiving a plaque

[50:13] for 20 years of service to the state owning this zoo,

[50:17] which has received numerous awards.

[50:19] It's like, all my life, it just passed me by.

[50:22] That's how high I was.

[50:23] And anyway, kids, that's why I'm here to talk to you to stay off drugs,

[50:26] because before you know it, your life has passed,

[50:28] and you are a respected elder in the zoo-owning community.

[50:34] Anyway.

[50:34] You wake up in bed one day realizing, wait a minute,

[50:37] this is not my beautiful wife, but it is.

[50:39] Jane Goodall.

[50:40] You married her.

[50:41] Oh, wow.

Stuart Wellington

[50:45] Weirdly enough, she doesn't actually like gorillas.

Elliott Kalan

[50:48] No, she's, well, chimpanzees.

[50:50] Jane Goodall watches chimpanzees, yeah.

[50:51] Oh, God.

[50:52] She probably doesn't like gorillas.

[50:53] I fucked it up again.

[50:54] Jesus.

[50:55] Oh, man.

[50:55] What a great run until Stuart had to throw the nail strip in our way

[50:58] and pop our tires.

[51:00] We need to back check that one.

[51:02] How many chimpanocchios do we get from that one?

[51:06] That's what you get when you tell lies about chimps, chimpanocchios.

[51:09] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[51:10] Chimpanocchio.

Elliott Kalan

[51:11] Anyway, we'll come on down to Chimpanocchios,

[51:13] the only Italian restaurant entirely staffed by chimpanzees.

[51:16] We get a lot of casualties.

[51:17] A lot of people don't leave this restaurant alive.

Stuart Wellington

[51:20] I think we have almost as many Pinocchios as the 2023 movie slate.

Elliott Kalan

[51:28] No.

[51:30] The listeners can't see Stuart's Johnny Carson.

[51:32] The same face after that one.

[51:37] So, Dan, what were you going to say about 80 for Brady?

Dan McCoy

[51:40] Just that usually if you're going to have a scene in a movie

[51:43] where someone accidentally takes drugs,

[51:45] it is in, say, a brownie that is easily mistaken for just a normal –

[51:50] like the fact that the girls just handing out gummies.

Elliott Kalan

[51:52] You're saying someone at a party wouldn't normally take gummies

[51:55] out of a plastic bag.

[51:57] Exactly.

[51:57] And assume that it was not a drug?

[51:59] Okay.

[52:00] Especially because these characters have clearly,

[52:02] smoked pot before, at least some of them.

[52:04] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[52:04] Like, it's not something –

[52:07] it's not like they're like, oh, my God, drugs.

[52:09] Oh, no, what am I going to do?

[52:10] They're like irritated by it.

[52:11] They're like, ugh, we took drugs by accident.

[52:13] You know.

[52:13] Yeah.

[52:14] I got to ride this high out.

[52:16] Yeah, exactly.

[52:16] So anyway, they do that, and they decide they need to find Guy Fieri

[52:20] as Rita Moreno really starts tripping.

[52:22] She wanders into – she puts on an eyes wide shut mask,

[52:25] and she wanders into a room –

[52:27] That's how you know it's a nice house.

[52:28] Yes.

[52:28] She wanders into a poker room where everyone has Guy Fieri's face,

[52:32] including her.

[52:33] It's just like the bubble.

[52:35] I watch it.

[52:36] I'm like, this is the same joke as the bubble.

[52:37] Has anyone in Hollywood ever done drugs?

[52:40] Do they know at all what the effects of pot are?

[52:42] Because, again, as we talked about in the bubble episode,

[52:44] go see it.

[52:45] As seen in our bubble episode, Smile and Stand,

[52:48] that like the – there's no –

[52:50] Weed does not make you hallucinate.

[52:52] It doesn't make you hallucinate.

[52:54] Like you don't – it's – anyway.

[52:55] So unless those were –

Stuart Wellington

[52:56] I mean, maybe it's like triggering an underlying condition she has.

Elliott Kalan

[53:00] That's possible.

[53:01] That's possible.

[53:02] She is older.

[53:03] I mean, maybe they were acid-laced gummies.

[53:06] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[53:06] Yeah, yeah, microdosing.

[53:07] But even – I mean, I don't know.

[53:10] In the various times I've done acid,

[53:12] I never imagined everybody's faces were someone else's face.

Dan McCoy

[53:16] Am I – Dan?

[53:18] Dan?

[53:19] I – well –

[53:20] Dan, you've gone through the doors of perception.

[53:22] The only psychedelic I've ever had was shrooms.

[53:25] We're all pinheads.

Stuart Wellington

[53:26] We're all seekers of the patterns.

Elliott Kalan

[53:28] And I've never done psychedelics because my handle on reality,

[53:31] I think, is loose enough that I don't really want to push it over the edge.

Stuart Wellington

[53:34] Man, no time like the present.

Elliott Kalan

[53:35] Let's just be fucking weird, right?

Stuart Wellington

[53:37] In your 40s.

[53:38] Why don't you get into it?

Elliott Kalan

[53:38] Yeah, that's it.

[53:39] Come on.

[53:40] Just when I become comfortable with the number of things I see in my waking life

[53:43] that I know are not actually there,

[53:44] I should start throwing some new things into my path.

[53:47] Yeah, that's what I like to hear.

[53:49] Anyway, it's the kind of joke I would have expected from,

[53:52] like, Scoo-Doo.

[53:53] Like a movie from the 60s where middle-aged people are making jokes about drugs

[53:56] and they've never done them.

[53:57] But you know Jane Fonda smoked pot.

[53:59] You know Lily Tomlin probably smoked pot that day.

[54:02] Like, you know this is not a thing that –

[54:03] they know that doesn't happen.

[54:04] Anyway, so Lily Tomlin and Sally Field,

[54:07] they're mad that they can't find the tickets.

[54:08] But then they do dance on the dance floor a bunch.

Dan McCoy

[54:10] This was the time, I think the one time in the movie I audibly laughed.

[54:15] And when Sally Field, Stoned, hears the music, wants to start dancing,

[54:20] takes her jacket off and just throws it on a guy who's passing by.

[54:23] And I don't know.

[54:24] I mean, it's not even a joke.

[54:26] It's just she does it well, you know?

[54:27] Yeah.

[54:28] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[54:28] Yeah, I mean, she sells the material.

[54:30] She punches a guy in the face.

[54:32] She then commiserates with him and learns how to flirt.

[54:35] And she tells her husband off.

[54:37] And this guy falls in love with her.

Elliott Kalan

[54:39] Yeah.

[54:39] It's great.

[54:40] He tries to kiss her and she says,

[54:41] no, that's not what we're doing.

[54:43] And anyway, Rita Moreno comes out of her hallucination

[54:46] to find that she is dominating a poker game

[54:49] with Billy Porter, Patton Oswalt, Marshawn Lynch, and Retta.

[54:53] Right?

[54:53] Like those are the people she's playing with.

[54:55] And Billy Porter is not playing –

[54:57] they're not playing themselves, I guess.

[54:58] Billy Porter is playing a character named Gugu,

[55:00] who we find later is a dance choreographer.

[55:03] And she just totally wins.

[55:06] And eventually – well, we'll get to what happens there.

[55:09] Lily Tomlin reveals to her daughter –

[55:11] Thanks for drawing out the suspense, by the way.

[55:13] Yeah.

[55:14] Lily Tomlin reveals to her daughter that she's in Texas

[55:16] and she's refusing to find out the results of the hospital tests

[55:19] because she's worried it's just going to tell her

[55:20] that her cancer has returned.

[55:22] And she cannot handle that.

[55:23] She catches Jane Fonda making out with Harry Hamlin

[55:26] and tells her about the tickets being missing.

[55:28] She's mad they're making out.

[55:29] Rita Moreno, she wins the pot at the poker game.

[55:32] She did it.

[55:32] They can buy new tickets.

[55:34] Oh, it was a charity poker game.

[55:37] And so I think she – in honor of Billy Porter,

[55:41] she donates it all to Broadway Cares, right?

[55:43] Because that's his cause.

[55:44] Much like you can donate to the Entertainment Community Fund

[55:47] at entertainmentcommunity.org to help support writers

[55:51] and other entertainment professionals who may be in need

[55:53] if this strike goes longer.

[55:54] Anyway, they still don't have tickets.

[55:57] Lily Tomlin's mad at Sally Field that she lost the tickets

[55:59] because she's like, this was my last chance.

[56:01] This is my last chance.

[56:02] And she hasn't told them she's expecting hospital results.

[56:05] She hasn't opened the hospital results,

[56:07] but she's assuming they are negative and that she is dying.

[56:09] Next morning –

Stuart Wellington

[56:10] And also Thomas Brady nearing the end of his career.

[56:14] That's part of the ticket.

[56:15] As far as they know, yeah.

[56:16] Oh, see.

Elliott Kalan

[56:17] They don't yet know that Tom Brady will soon retire

[56:19] and then come out of retirement to play for a different team.

Stuart Wellington

[56:22] At the expense of his marriage.

[56:25] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[56:25] Yeah.

[56:26] That's – yeah.

[56:27] Well, we don't have to get into –

[56:28] It is – it is –

[56:29] At no point do they talk about Tom Brady's marriage in this movie.

[56:32] Weird.

[56:33] And it seems like something they might bring up

[56:34] if they're ladies who have a crush on him, but maybe not.

[56:36] Anyway, I guess there's a Giselle-shaped hole

[56:38] in the heart of this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[56:40] So anyway –

[56:40] Well, maybe it's one of those things where they don't want to talk about

[56:42] because if they don't mention it, it doesn't exist.

[56:45] Like when you buy a zoo and –

[56:48] You don't mention it.

[56:49] No, the zoo is still there, Stu.

[56:50] You need to feed those animals.

[56:52] No, but if you don't tell anybody, it's not like real, right?

Dan McCoy

[56:55] Yeah, if you buy a zoo in the forest and you don't tell anybody about it.

[56:59] Did you really buy a zoo?

[57:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[57:01] I haven't seen that movie.

[57:02] Do they do a –

[57:02] Like if you don't check your bank account,

[57:04] the money is still there probably.

[57:06] Yeah, sure.

Elliott Kalan

[57:06] Do they do a what?

[57:07] We bought a zoo reveal party where they reveal what they bought

[57:10] to their friends and family?

[57:11] Is that a scene in the movie?

[57:12] Because I haven't seen it.

Dan McCoy

[57:14] I haven't seen it either.

[57:15] And you know what?

[57:15] I stuck with Cameron Crowe for a long time

[57:17] after I should have known better, but I missed that one.

[57:20] Oh, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[57:22] Elizabethtown, right?

[57:23] He did that one?

Dan McCoy

[57:23] Yeah.

[57:24] He did do Elizabethtown, yeah.

[57:25] Yeah, that has both moments in it that are like very interesting and fun

[57:32] and then like a bunch of stuff that you're like, why is what?

[57:37] Did he do –

[57:38] He did Aloha, right?

[57:39] Did he do Mumford?

[57:41] Did he do Mumford?

[57:41] I don't think he did Mumford, no.

[57:43] Is that –

Elliott Kalan

[57:43] Feels like an oversight.

[57:45] Lawrence Kasdan?

[57:45] It might be Lawrence Kasdan.

[57:47] I don't know who did Mumford's sons.

[57:49] Oh, yeah.

[57:50] But as for Mumford and sons, I don't know.

[57:53] And yeah, Cameron – what was the last movie Cameron Crowe did?

[57:56] Was it Aloha?

[57:57] He must have done something since then, right?

Dan McCoy

[57:59] He did that show about roadies on Showtime.

[58:04] Oh, right, right.

[58:04] It may have been called roadies.

[58:05] I think it was called roadies.

Elliott Kalan

[58:07] Anyway, the next morning it's game day.

[58:09] The ladies are hungover, but they've got to find a way to get those tickets.

[58:12] They split up to find a scalper, and we have the scene –

[58:14] the one scene I thought was funny where Rita Moreno is trying to haggle for tickets with a scalper,

[58:18] and she keeps saying final offer and then adding more money.

[58:20] She goes, what if I paid you $100?

[58:22] And he goes, no way.

[58:23] What?

[58:23] You won't take my $150?

[58:24] No, I won't.

[58:25] Okay, I won't go as high as $200, $250.

[58:27] Like she just keeps getting high.

[58:29] Professional, yeah.

[58:30] I think she's so funny in this.

[58:31] She's just so subtle with it.

[58:33] So I guess Rita Moreno, classy performance.

[58:37] I mean, don't take that EGOT away from her.

[58:39] Let her keep it.

[58:41] Yeah, let her keep it.

[58:42] She earned it.

[58:43] She earned that EGOT.

[58:44] So Jane Fonda –

Stuart Wellington

[58:45] Wow, Ellie just took all the stakes out of this episode

[58:48] because I thought if we came down hard, we would have to take the EGOTs away.

[58:52] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[58:53] No, no.

[58:54] I think let's leave it.

[58:55] I mean, we may still take away the other awards, but Rita Moreno gets to keep hers.

[58:58] Yeah.

[58:59] And you know what?

[59:00] Let's not erase the tape of her with Animal on The Muppet Show.

Dan McCoy

[59:03] Let's leave that in existence too.

[59:05] Yeah.

[59:06] I didn't know that was –

[59:06] I had no idea that was on the table.

[59:08] And for a moment, I was terrified.

[59:10] And then you –

Elliott Kalan

[59:10] Oh, yeah.

[59:11] Everything any of them has ever done is on the table if we decide against this movie.

[59:14] Oh, my God.

Stuart Wellington

[59:15] Or will ever do.

[59:16] Or will ever do.

[59:17] So there's a chance that when we go to see Fast 10,

[59:20] there will just be a hole where her character was playing Dominic Toretto's mother.

Elliott Kalan

[59:26] Yeah, exactly.

[59:26] And it will just disappear much like the zoo that you bought in the forest and therefore doesn't exist.

[59:31] Yeah.

[59:32] If you don't look at it, it's not really there.

[59:35] Yeah.

[59:35] If you dump 500 pounds of pasta in a forest in New Jersey, then that pasta doesn't exist anymore.

Dan McCoy

[59:42] Oh, no.

[59:43] It's growing into giant stalks of pasta rising from the forest.

Elliott Kalan

[59:47] We never should have done this.

[59:48] So Jane Fonda, she goes to the sportscasters.

[59:50] This was when I finally realized that one of them was Rob Gordry, which I felt bad about.

[59:53] Again, someone I know personally.

[59:54] She asked for help, and they reveal that Lily Tomlin didn't win the contest.

[59:58] The contest was won by four guys who were in a support group for men named Tom Brady

[1:00:02] who can never hope to live up to the name because it's owned by such a hallowed Olympian of a figure.

[1:00:08] And I was like, fuck you, movie.

[1:00:10] Like, just shut up.

[1:00:11] Enough.

[1:00:11] Like, if you can – Tom Brady, I'm not a football fan, so whatever.

[1:00:14] But, like, you can love an athlete without presenting him.

[1:00:18] And, like, they're not doing it, I feel like, far enough for it to be a joke.

[1:00:20] But without presenting him as literally the greatest man who has ever lived,

[1:00:24] and even to share a name with him is to live in eternally disappointing the universe and disappointed in yourself.

[1:00:29] Like, come on.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:30] Elliot, have you spoken to Boston-area sports fans about their feelings toward Tom Brady, though?

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:35] I have – but this is not a movie that is for – clearly – I don't think they're making a movie just for Boston-area sports fans.

[1:00:42] Like, this is –

[1:00:42] But I'm saying that these characters –

[1:00:44] There was a billboard for it in my Los Angeles neighborhood, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:47] But these characters are all Boston-area sports fans, so to them, that would seem like an impossible-to-overcome obstacle.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:55] Then I want them to make it even clearer that I am not supposed to buy into the idea that if –

[1:01:01] Tom Brady is the nameless ultra of humanity.

[1:01:02] Yeah, I got to say, this was one of my –

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:03] Maybe if they translate the Boston accents into –

[1:01:06] This is one of my Boston English –

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:08] That evolution was a teleological process that ends in Tom Brady.

[1:01:11] And now that it's happened, the universe will disappear because its last business has been taken care of.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:17] The high evolutionary, he throws himself off a tower because he can never achieve the peak of greatness that Tom Brady is.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he cries because there's no empires left to conquer because Tom Brady has evolved, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:29] Yeah, Dan?

[1:01:30] Oh, no, I'm sorry.

[1:01:32] You were going to say something?

[1:01:33] Well, you know, it took so long.

[1:01:34] No, I agree just in the sense that, like, this was a big problem I had, the deification of Brady and the NFL.

[1:01:42] Like, look, it's a movie called 80 for Brady that was made with the cooperation of the NFL.

[1:01:46] Of course it's going to make those things look good.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:47] You know, there's going to be a certain amount of celebration of Tom Brady and the NFL.

Dan McCoy

[1:01:51] The degree to which this felt like a, like, you know, a mild commercial for those things, like, just irritated me.

[1:01:58] And I'm sure that if I was a football fan, I would eat it up.

[1:02:02] But as a non-fan, I'm like, I don't give a shit about this.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:05] Well, I wonder how my brother felt about it.

[1:02:06] I don't think he's seen it.

[1:02:07] But I should get in touch with my brother, who is one of the world's biggest football fans, and see how he felt about this movie.

[1:02:11] I don't think he's particularly a Tom Brady fan, but I think I should ask him how he felt about the movie and whether he was like, yeah, I understand.

[1:02:18] Yeah, of course.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:19] Dan, I know that recently you watched Fighting With My Family, which is a similar sort of thing that's based loosely on real events.

[1:02:27] And it's a celebration of the WWE.

[1:02:32] Would you say that it's a similar thing, or?

Dan McCoy

[1:02:36] I mean, I did think that one of my least favorite parts of Fighting With My Family was when The Rock showed up to, like, be like, hey, look, it's me, The Rock.

[1:02:44] It's me, Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

[1:02:46] He sounds a lot like Seabiscuit.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:48] I'm going to run for president someday.

[1:02:50] It's Dwayne The Rock.

[1:02:50] The world's most famous wrestler.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:52] How you doing?

[1:02:53] Got to go.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:55] And all you wanted was to see Florence Pugh, Nick Frost, and Lena Headey just hang out and be silly.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:01] Yeah, that was what I wanted out of the movie.

[1:03:03] Can I say that the weirdest thing about Fighting With My Family, I haven't complained to you about it, but, like, the movie makes a point about, like, the fights are fixed, but they're not fake.

[1:03:12] Meaning that, like.

[1:03:13] Yeah, they really get hurt.

[1:03:14] They really get hurt.

[1:03:15] The outcomes are fixed.

[1:03:16] The outcomes are fixed.

[1:03:17] And yet, the movie's main theme throughout it has been, like, oh, Florence Pugh's character has to find her voice.

[1:03:25] And yet, the big climax of the movie isn't that she finally, like, really, like, finds her voice and character in a way that, you know, she doesn't make, like, a big speech where you're, like, okay, like, she's really trash talking.

[1:03:37] Like, I see why she's going to be a great WWE, like, diva or whatever.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:42] She's not able to get the, like, audience on her side by some way.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:45] Like, that stuff should be the triumph.

[1:03:47] Instead, they treat the fact that she wins the round, the match as a triumph.

[1:03:51] And I'm like, but, movie, you know that this is fixed.

[1:03:54] You said it.

[1:03:55] Like, why is, like, why is this Rocky all of a sudden?

[1:03:57] Even though Rocky didn't win, but he had a, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:00] He did eventually.

[1:04:01] Yeah, he wins in Rocky 4, right?

[1:04:03] In Rocky 2 through Infinity.

[1:04:05] Yeah.

[1:04:05] Yeah, he wins.

[1:04:06] After the first one, he doesn't stop winning.

[1:04:08] Yeah.

[1:04:08] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:10] That's what that sounds about, right?

[1:04:11] So, Rocky Infinity is the one where Rocky becomes one with all existence.

[1:04:15] Oh, wow.

[1:04:16] And then punches the idea of non-existence in the face.

[1:04:18] Yeah.

[1:04:19] Oh, man.

[1:04:20] It's so awesome.

[1:04:21] So, anyway, they're running around looking for the tickets.

[1:04:24] Lily Tomlin is despairing until she hallucinates Tom Brady on a TV, telling her not to give up.

[1:04:29] It's going to work out.

[1:04:30] Yeah.

[1:04:30] And Sally Field runs up.

[1:04:31] She found Guy Fieri in an outhouse.

[1:04:32] And we, the audience, know it's going to work out.

[1:04:34] It's going to be fine.

[1:04:36] Yeah.

[1:04:36] I apologize.

[1:04:36] I keep saying outhouse when I mean port-a-potty.

[1:04:38] They're not.

[1:04:38] It's not Little Abner's Super Bowl.

[1:04:41] Yeah.

[1:04:42] She finds Guy Fieri in a port-a-potty.

[1:04:46] This is when, if Guy Fieri, look, if Guy Fieri really had comic guts, she would have said,

[1:04:51] I left my strap on here.

[1:04:52] And he would have said, and he would have gone, oh, oh, yeah, I found it in the port-a-potty.

[1:04:56] And then handed her a big strap on Tildo.

[1:04:59] But, but again, the movie is not going to go that far.

[1:05:01] So he goes, oh, yeah, let's, I found your fanny pack.

[1:05:04] Here it is.

[1:05:05] The tickets are here.

[1:05:05] But, uh-oh, another obstacle.

[1:05:07] Joseph Campbell is cheering in his coffin.

[1:05:09] Yes.

[1:05:09] Yeah.

[1:05:10] Because they, because they give the tickets to the, to the ticket taker.

[1:05:16] Ron Funches.

[1:05:16] Is it Ron Funches?

[1:05:17] And he goes, these are counterfeit tickets.

[1:05:20] These are not real tickets.

[1:05:21] You got scammed.

[1:05:22] And they're like, but we won the contest.

[1:05:24] And Jane Fonda's like, no, we didn't.

[1:05:26] And Lili Tomlin admits she sold her car and cashed out, I think, her savings so that she

[1:05:31] could pay for this trip because it's the last, her last chance.

[1:05:34] She reveals, I got test results from the hospital, but I've been too scared to look at them.

[1:05:37] And her friends say, hey, whatever happens, we're your friends.

[1:05:41] We're going to be with you.

[1:05:42] And so it has taken this whole experience to show Lili Tomlin that the women who act out

[1:05:46] the same bullshit stuff every time they watch a football game to appease her superstitions

[1:05:51] are her friends and will do things for her.

[1:05:53] Yeah.

[1:05:54] Yeah.

[1:05:54] I mean, sometimes you get lost in the weeds, you know?

[1:05:57] Yeah, that's true.

[1:05:57] That's how friendship works.

[1:05:58] Or lost in the weed if you accidentally take a gummy and you end up buying a zoo.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:02] Fucking zoo.

[1:06:03] And you get all these exotic birds to take care of.

[1:06:06] Guys, listen, is anyone out there, if you want to buy a zoo for me, please take this zoo

[1:06:11] off my hands because I am up to my ears in elephant feeding bills.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:17] Yeah.

[1:06:17] If you think Dan knows how to keep a penguin alive, you are mistaken.

[1:06:22] So please take this zoo away from him.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:26] That's what, that's what, that's in the, we bought a zoo Bible.

[1:06:29] That's what we bought a zoo Christ said.

[1:06:31] Please, Lord, take this zoo away from me.

[1:06:33] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:34] But not my will, but your will.

[1:06:36] Yeah.

[1:06:37] And he, and he, and he, as he was on the cross, the hyenas started laughing and he said,

[1:06:41] Lord, they know not what they do because they're animals.

[1:06:44] They're not even really laughing.

[1:06:45] It's just a sound they make that sounds kind of like a laugh.

[1:06:47] Please forgive them.

[1:06:48] And not even that much like one.

[1:06:49] So, Rita Moreno, she sees Billy Porter walking in, aka Gugu.

[1:06:53] He reveals his Lady Gaga's choreographer.

[1:06:56] That's how he has the name Gugu.

[1:06:57] And he helps them get into the game by proving to the, to Ron Funches that they are his dancers

[1:07:02] by putting them through a very minimal dance routine.

[1:07:04] Because Ron Funches went to the same.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:06] Oh no, it's a different, it's a different security guard.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:08] It's not Ron Funches.

[1:07:09] Sorry, it's a different security guard.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:10] But like that security guard and later on, Ron Funches all seem to have gone to the same

[1:07:15] training school as Jimmy O. Yang because they all take their jobs very seriously.

[1:07:19] I feel like they're all on the same like Reddit message board, like complaining about people

[1:07:22] who like don't break the rules and shit.

[1:07:25] Well, except for this.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:26] I mean, this guy doesn't take it seriously.

[1:07:27] No, because he lets them through.

[1:07:29] Because he says, you're very clearly not dancers.

Stuart Wellington

[1:07:31] He takes it incredibly seriously because he lets them in because they're such good,

[1:07:35] clearly professional dancers.

Elliott Kalan

[1:07:36] Here's the thing.

[1:07:37] There's two, there's, and former Secretary of State William Seward, when he was running

[1:07:41] for president in the, in 1860, he made it clear there are two laws.

[1:07:45] There's written law and there's a higher moral law.

[1:07:47] The written law says you can't get in without a ticket or if you're a real backup dancer.

[1:07:50] The higher moral law says, Sally Field, you are adorable when you dance.

[1:07:54] I'm going to let you in to see the Seward.

[1:07:55] Yeah, yeah.

[1:07:56] Yeah.

[1:07:57] And so they get in, they did it.

[1:07:59] They watch the game and Jane Fonda is refusing to return Harry Hamlin's texts.

[1:08:04] She wishes she had a husband like Sally Fields.

[1:08:07] And the girls appear on the Jumbotron and that's when Ron Funches sees them.

[1:08:12] And he goes, wait a minute, how'd they get in?

[1:08:13] And kicks them out.

[1:08:14] But as he's kicking them out, who shows up?

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:17] He gets a shotgun and he shaves it down to turn it into a sawed off shotgun.

[1:08:21] Not on my watch.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:22] Just bladding, he puts together a quad shotgun like in Phantasm and just so he can take them

[1:08:26] all out at once.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:27] Actually, if there was like a little like arming up sequence, I would have liked it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:08:31] Yeah, like where he puts his walkie talkie in and stuff like that.

[1:08:33] Yeah.

[1:08:34] He's showing them out when who shows up to save them like a Greek hero of old, but Perseus

[1:08:39] himself, Harry Hamlin, and does not have to chop off Ron Funches' head as if Ron Funches

[1:08:44] was Medusa, but instead just his mere presence.

[1:08:47] Ron Funches is like, you're an amazing star player.

[1:08:50] Oh my God, that was amazing what you did.

[1:08:51] And he goes, they're with me, these ladies.

[1:08:53] I'm in the luxury box.

[1:08:55] They go to the skybox, which I have to admit I was a little disappointed by it.

[1:08:58] It just looks like a sports bar hanging over a game.

[1:09:01] I mean, I guess it's impressive for a post-game game.

[1:09:03] What do you think it was going to look like?

[1:09:05] I thought they were going to have like a hot tub and like fancy stuff.

[1:09:09] Maybe like a Deadly Dance Revolution game.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:10] It's going to be like the Maldives or something.

[1:09:13] Yeah, exactly.

[1:09:14] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:14] You can look at the floor.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:15] The floor is clear and you can see the ocean underneath.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:18] Everything's pearls.

[1:09:20] There's an infinity pool.

[1:09:21] There's living statues that are there all day.

[1:09:23] Living statues.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:25] Oh man.

[1:09:26] Turned to stone by a Gorgon, no less.

Elliott Kalan

[1:09:30] Yeah, like Perseus himself knows.

[1:09:33] And yeah, it's just like something that Borgia's would have is what I imagined.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:36] Yeah.

[1:09:37] You're like, you expected there to be a giant coin, a giant like a two-faced coin.

[1:09:41] A big dinosaur robot.

[1:09:42] Exactly, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:09:43] A big Joker card.

[1:09:44] That's a luxury box.

[1:09:46] Do you think that Alfred's ever like, sir, can we get rid of the giant coin?

[1:09:50] Because I have to polish that thing.

[1:09:51] It's not like we can get, you know, a TaskRabbit in here to do this.

[1:09:55] This is a secret lair.

[1:09:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:09:57] Instead of developing technology to monitors everybody's like cell phones and shit, can

[1:10:01] you like teach the bats to clean stuff?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:06] Batman's like, sure, Alfred.

[1:10:06] I'll just get rid of all of my memories while I'm at it.

[1:10:09] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:10:10] Yeah, yeah.

[1:10:10] Let me just think back.

[1:10:11] Do I have living parents?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:15] All right, sir.

[1:10:16] You're right.

[1:10:17] You're right, Alfred.

[1:10:17] I will get rid of the penny.

[1:10:19] Oh, no.

[1:10:19] Hold on.

[1:10:19] Who pays whose salary here?

[1:10:21] Do you pay Batman's salary?

[1:10:23] No, Alfred.

[1:10:24] Batman pays your salary.

[1:10:25] Do what you're told.

[1:10:26] Because you know what?

[1:10:27] I don't care.

[1:10:28] Look, Batman, he's still a rich guy.

[1:10:29] He's still part of the 1%.

[1:10:31] He's terrible.

[1:10:32] Do you think – yeah, well, but –

[1:10:33] He's a violent solution to a mental illness problem, and that's really what happened to

[1:10:38] No, that's true.

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:38] It's true.

Dan McCoy

[1:10:39] But do you think he's going to be that cavalier with mistreating Alfred when Alfred

[1:10:44] could go out there and write a tell-all like that?

Elliott Kalan

[1:10:46] No, because Alfred signed an NDA, Dan, because Batman goes, go ahead, Alfred.

[1:10:50] Write your book behind the cowl.

[1:10:52] I will sue the shit out of you, old man.

[1:10:54] I'll sue you so hard.

[1:10:56] You'll wish you died in World War II when you were a spy or whatever you did.

[1:10:59] I didn't watch that show, says Batman.

[1:11:01] And Alfred goes, you didn't watch Pennyworth, the origin of Batman's Butler?

Dan McCoy

[1:11:06] It's about to be the season finale of Pennyworth or series finale.

[1:11:11] Sorry.

[1:11:12] Anyway.

[1:11:12] Yeah.

[1:11:12] Alfred goes, wait, series finale?

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:15] I had hope for a moment that we'd come back.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:17] Yeah.

[1:11:18] Alfred's like shopping his resume around, trying to get a new gig.

[1:11:20] And they're like, well, there's a pretty big hole in your resume.

[1:11:23] Why can't you talk about that?

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:25] No, it says you were a spy until 1946.

[1:11:28] And then there's nothing until just now.

[1:11:30] Well, I worked for a prominent family, but I signed an NDA.

[1:11:34] Can you, well, can we call them for a reference?

[1:11:35] No, I'm not allowed to say which one they are or what vigilante their son grew up to become.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:40] Or what sort of flying mammal the son themed his career on.

Elliott Kalan

[1:11:46] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1:11:46] Squirrel man.

[1:11:47] Yeah, of course, of course.

[1:11:48] And Alfred's like, no, they don't truly fly.

[1:11:50] They merely glide.

[1:11:51] There's only one kind of flying mammal.

[1:11:53] You mean humans?

[1:11:54] Because we have airplanes?

[1:11:55] Okay, I guess there's two kinds of flying mammals if you've got technology.

Dan McCoy

[1:11:58] Technically, I guess he's also a human.

Stuart Wellington

[1:11:59] Wow.

[1:12:00] I mean, he shouldn't be arguing with his potential employer.

[1:12:03] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:12:04] Alfred has already tanked the interview.

[1:12:05] He knows that he's not getting this job.

[1:12:07] Yeah, he's not getting it.

[1:12:07] Yeah.

[1:12:08] Now he just wants the minor victory.

[1:12:10] So Jane Fondo apologizes to Perseus.

[1:12:14] Glenn Turman calls Irina Moreno and is like, hey, the people here think that you've been kidnapped.

[1:12:19] Is everything okay?

[1:12:20] And she goes, you know what?

[1:12:21] I'm going to move back into my own house because there's no reason for me to live in an old folks home.

[1:12:25] And you can come visit me whenever you want.

[1:12:26] And I think it's supposed to sound flirty, but it doesn't.

[1:12:29] And Glenn Turman takes it not in a flirty way.

[1:12:31] He's like, oh, okay.

[1:12:32] Like he takes it as if he's been dumped.

[1:12:34] So then she runs into Andy Richter, who is a huge Falcons fan who has paid for this Skybox.

[1:12:40] And from this point on, for a long time, it's just them watching the actual game footage of the game.

[1:12:46] Yeah.

[1:12:46] It's like the end of The Fighter when you're just watching a boxing match on TV.

[1:12:50] And it's like, oh, okay.

[1:12:51] I thought this was a movie I'm watching.

[1:12:52] But I guess it's an NFL films movie where I'm just watching game highlights.

[1:12:56] How did you guys feel about this section?

[1:12:57] I know you're big Leatherheads.

[1:12:59] Uh-huh.

[1:13:00] Yeah.

[1:13:00] We're big Leatherheads.

[1:13:01] I don't mean the Ninja Turtles gator bad guy Leatherhead.

[1:13:03] I mean, you know, football fans.

Dan McCoy

[1:13:05] Yeah.

[1:13:05] This is a time that I allowed myself to take a little more leeway with the amount of attention

[1:13:10] I was paying to the screen when it was just game footage.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:14] Now, Andy Richter is not playing Andy Richter, right?

[1:13:17] No, he's playing a character named Clark.

[1:13:18] Yeah.

[1:13:18] Okay.

[1:13:19] That makes sense.

[1:13:19] Maybe he wears glasses.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:20] Maybe he's Clark Kent.

[1:13:21] And he just had to get – he didn't invite Batman to this Super Bowl game.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:25] Nothing on the screen would say otherwise.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:27] There's nothing in the movie that fights the idea that he's Clark Kent.

Stuart Wellington

[1:13:29] He's playing Clark Gregg, actually.

[1:13:31] Oh, wow.

[1:13:32] Well, that's good.

[1:13:33] I'm glad Clark Gregg's in more stuff, you know?

[1:13:35] Yeah.

[1:13:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:13:36] Well, someone playing him at least.

[1:13:38] Yeah.

[1:13:39] So the Falcons are winning.

[1:13:41] The ladies are just upset.

[1:13:42] But they realize across the stadium, I think, is the coordination booth where they call the

[1:13:46] plays.

[1:13:46] They race over there.

[1:13:48] And Sally Field, they break in.

[1:13:51] Sally Field gets on the mic and starts calling winning plays using her math abilities.

[1:13:55] I love it.

[1:13:56] And Lily Tomlin uses the headset mic that is a direct Batman to Commissioner Gordon call

[1:14:01] line to Tom Brady to talk directly to Tom about how his playing inspired her to get through

[1:14:06] chemo.

[1:14:06] He turns around and looks up at her.

[1:14:08] She must be several hundred feet up in the air.

[1:14:11] But he's shot as if they're face to face.

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:13] He has eyeballs like a hawk, Elliot.

[1:14:16] Yeah.

[1:14:16] He's got those quarterback eyes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:18] He's like Mechaneck.

[1:14:19] He can just see huge distances, you know?

[1:14:22] But it's – and again, Tom Brady is –

Stuart Wellington

[1:14:24] Baron Munchausen should scoop this dude up and put him in his team.

Elliott Kalan

[1:14:31] He is more than human.

[1:14:32] He is the greatest of all of us.

[1:14:34] So, yeah.

[1:14:34] And he is so inspired by his speech that he's not going to give up.

[1:14:38] She says, if you don't give up, I won't give up either.

[1:14:40] And he goes – she goes, if you fight, I'll fight.

[1:14:42] And Tom nods in understanding and shouts, let's fucking go to his teammates.

[1:14:45] And to be honest, I was kind of surprised to see a major athlete in a movie using a swear

[1:14:51] word when he's talking to his teammates.

[1:14:52] It's the kind of thing that like – I feel like in the old days, the NFL would be like – the

[1:14:56] Major League Baseball certainly would not have allowed that kind of thing in the past.

[1:14:59] But that NFL would be like, we're good clean people.

[1:15:02] We don't swear.

[1:15:03] We're Boy Scouts.

[1:15:04] But he just says it just lets that F-bomb fall, you know?

Dan McCoy

[1:15:07] Well, also this movie that is clearly geared towards families for that matter.

[1:15:11] They're just like, okay, you've got one use of the word fuck and you're going to use it here, I guess, for –

[1:15:18] I guess because –

[1:15:19] The amazing thespian Tom Brady.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:21] It should have been when Jane Fonda was reading her Gronk erotica.

[1:15:25] It should have been.

[1:15:26] Her Gronk erotica is so tame.

[1:15:28] That's when Gronk fucked me.

Dan McCoy

[1:15:33] Gronk, he said, as is his want.

[1:15:36] His own name, Gronk.

Elliott Kalan

[1:15:37] He just repeated it over and over again.

[1:15:41] And Tom Brady goes off and, newly emboldened, leads the Patriots to the comeback victory that is part of the historical record.

[1:15:51] As we watch more real NFL footage.

[1:15:54] And at this point, we're just watching the football game.

Stuart Wellington

[1:15:55] I remember watching this Super Bowl match at the bar and being like, yeah, the Patriots are losing.

[1:16:02] I can't wait to see that happen.

[1:16:04] And then it turned around and I'm like, fucking Lily Tom.

Elliott Kalan

[1:16:08] That's the other thing is that this movie takes it for granted that we understand also Tom Brady is amazing.

[1:16:14] That's why he can say fuck because his tongue is the philosopher's stone that transmutes the base metal of a swear word into the gold of beauty, of poetics.

[1:16:22] But they take it for granted when, for much of the country, they hate the Patriots.

[1:16:27] They don't like Tom Brady.

[1:16:28] And the owner of the Patriots is generally accepted to be a bad dude, right?

[1:16:31] Like not a good person.

[1:16:33] So the idea that like – anyway, just the base assumption of the movie that we're all on Team Brady and Team Patriots.

[1:16:38] Anyway, so everyone celebrates.

[1:16:41] Of course, Lily Tomlin is now bankrupt.

[1:16:44] But Rita Moreno reveals she made a bet with Andy Richter on who's going to win the game.

[1:16:48] And she has won enough to pay Lily Tomlin back for the whole trip.

[1:16:51] Oh, cool.

[1:16:52] And pay for her potential cancer treatment?

[1:16:55] Well, we have to hope so.

[1:16:57] She hasn't found out the results yet.

[1:16:59] And we'll never find out the results in the movie.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:00] She did just get the one watch from that guy.

[1:17:03] That's true.

[1:17:04] I mean, I know that they're very expensive, but it seems like –

[1:17:08] Yeah.

[1:17:09] Yeah.

[1:17:09] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:10] And Ron Funches comes over to them and says –

[1:17:12] That's the thing about watches.

[1:17:14] It's like you can either get like a $100 watch or like $10,000 watch.

[1:17:19] There's no like in between.

[1:17:20] I guess $10,000 won't really cover cancer treatment, right?

[1:17:24] No.

[1:17:24] Cancer treatment is like zillions.

[1:17:25] I mean, I don't know what her insurance is like.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:27] Yeah.

[1:17:27] But I mean, also she has to pay back for the tickets and she has to get a new car.

[1:17:31] She sold her car.

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:32] Yeah.

[1:17:33] That's a big part of it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:34] So we better hope that this is not like – she's not like, I want his watch and she takes it to the jeweler and he's like, well, this is a Casio calculator watch.

Dan McCoy

[1:17:41] Yeah.

[1:17:42] Here's your problem.

[1:17:43] Let's see.

[1:17:44] You can –

Stuart Wellington

[1:17:44] Now, have you ever heard of a thing called a swatch?

Dan McCoy

[1:17:48] Is this worth anything?

[1:17:49] No, but you can write boobs with it.

Elliott Kalan

[1:17:51] I want to introduce you to someone named Fido Dido.

[1:17:53] I think this may explain some of the situation.

[1:17:56] So anyway, they think they're in trouble but they're taken to the locker room where thankfully all the players are still sitting around in their clothes.

[1:18:03] They are not in various states of undress as they normally would be in a locker room.

[1:18:07] They meet the players.

[1:18:08] It turns out Gronk has a copy of James Fonda's book.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:10] Based on the short pornographic films that Elliot watches.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:13] Yeah.

[1:18:14] Anyway, that's – I mean when – why wouldn't I?

[1:18:16] Why couldn't I watch a short pornographic film of that nature, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:19] Yeah, I mean if Tom Brady's going to be in it.

[1:18:22] Yeah, this is America.

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:23] Yeah, I'm curious about it.

[1:18:24] Look, did I want to see that nude photo of Harpo that recently went up for auction for sexual reasons?

[1:18:31] No, but I wanted to see it.

[1:18:32] Yeah, sure.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:32] Yeah, did probably most of your close friends text it to you?

Elliott Kalan

[1:18:37] Yes, it was texted to me and also the link was tweeted to me by a number of people because they understood if there is any person's penis that I want to see, it's Harpo Marx for sure.

[1:18:44] And also like I've read so many stories about him taking off his clothes as a joke.

[1:18:49] It was like that's great to have photographic –

[1:18:51] Like as a goof?

[1:18:53] As a goof that he would show up naked at things and things like that.

[1:18:55] He was very free with his body.

Stuart Wellington

[1:18:56] That's a pretty good goof.

[1:18:57] What do you think, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[1:18:59] I mean there's a harassment angle that I want to learn a little bit more about.

[1:19:03] Yeah, I might want to tamp that.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:04] No, Dan, a great – someone – I forgot who it was – said that when you're famous you get to do that kind of thing and people are okay with it.

[1:19:10] Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[1:19:12] Anyway, the evilest man in the world said that.

Dan McCoy

[1:19:14] So I think it's –

[1:19:14] He certainly wouldn't be found guilty of a sex crime, thus making my nickname for him.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:21] Well, found legally liable in a civil case, Dan.

[1:19:24] That's true.

[1:19:24] I hate to – we are in flop court.

[1:19:26] Otherwise, I would hate to split hairs that way.

[1:19:29] Yeah, that's true.

[1:19:29] Anyway.

Stuart Wellington

[1:19:30] And I am – I'm winning this one, I think.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:32] Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[1:19:33] So Gronkowski has a copy of Jane Fonda's book.

[1:19:35] They meet each other.

[1:19:36] It is implied that they are going to bang.

[1:19:39] And I found –

Dan McCoy

[1:19:40] Gronk only has like a word to say basically, but I found him funny and charming in a way that then like Tom Brady has a long monologue that he is not up to.

[1:19:50] Oh, no.

Elliott Kalan

[1:19:51] Rob Gronkowski is – I've seen him in other things.

[1:19:53] And he is a genuinely charismatic and like funny like performer.

[1:19:58] He's someone who – if this was called 80 for Gronk, I think it would have been a better movie in a lot of ways.

[1:20:03] It would have been a sillier movie.

[1:20:05] But anyway, Lily Tomlin finally meets Tom Brady and he tells her that she inspires him with her courage in facing cancer.

[1:20:13] Oh, wow.

[1:20:13] And this is the long speech that he gets that he does okay with.

[1:20:16] It's not great.

[1:20:18] He wants to swap jerseys with her, but his is missing.

[1:20:22] And this is not a plot point, and I don't understand why it happens.

[1:20:25] I don't know why they couldn't have just had them swap jerseys.

[1:20:28] But instead he looks in his locker room and he's like, oh, my jersey is not here.

[1:20:31] Doesn't pay off in any way.

[1:20:32] Don't know why they couldn't have.

Dan McCoy

[1:20:33] Yeah, I feel like there must have been a scene where one of them already had stolen the jersey that then this was orphaned from that maybe?

[1:20:39] Maybe.

[1:20:39] I have no idea.

[1:20:40] It's possible.

Elliott Kalan

[1:20:40] It really feels like a weird moment.

[1:20:42] Cut to – it's 2020.

[1:20:44] Tom Brady is back.

[1:20:45] He has retired and returned.

[1:20:46] Everyone's at Lily's house.

[1:20:48] They're all wearing jerseys, I think, for Tom Brady's current team.

[1:20:51] And they are reenacted.

[1:20:51] Is that Tampa Bay, Tampa?

[1:20:53] Something.

[1:20:53] The Tampa Bay tampons or something.

[1:20:55] I don't know what the team is that plays Tampa Bay.

[1:20:57] Wow.

[1:20:57] But anyway, they reenact the superstitious game ritual credits.

[1:21:02] And then we get a little bit of a – we see that it's based on a true story.

[1:21:06] And then we get a little pre-credits scene where the ladies are hanging out on the beach in Florida with Tom Brady.

[1:21:13] And he's like, you know, I don't know why you would retire.

[1:21:17] And they all laugh and laugh.

[1:21:18] They're all buddies now.

[1:21:19] And I assume they all get a night with Brady and they live out their fantasies off camera.

[1:21:24] Yeah, that sounds great.

[1:21:25] Yeah.

[1:21:25] And that is 80 for Brady.

[1:21:28] Were there goofs, guys?

[1:21:28] We ended up getting more detail than I expected.

[1:21:30] Were there goofs?

Stuart Wellington

[1:21:31] I did not see any goofs, no.

[1:21:32] Yeah.

[1:21:33] Was there a scene where the characters are dancing over music over the credits?

[1:21:37] Well, we already saw that in the movie.

[1:21:39] We saw a couple of dances during the movie.

[1:21:39] Oh, yeah, I guess.

[1:21:40] But they didn't just loop that footage.

[1:21:42] Okay, that's fine.

[1:21:42] With the hamster dance.

[1:21:44] I don't think that hurts my case.

[1:21:47] I think it's fine.

Elliott Kalan

[1:21:48] I would have had so much more respect for the movie if they had looped that footage over the hamster dance for the entirety of the credits.

Dan McCoy

[1:21:54] Which, by the way, is just a sped up version of Roger Miller's music from the Robin Hood movie.

[1:22:02] Yeah, yeah.

[1:22:03] That is oft-reference here.

[1:22:05] Anyway, so I have a cat on my lap.

[1:22:08] The sexiest movie of all time.

[1:22:09] Distracting me very much.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:10] Sure, yeah.

[1:22:11] Robin Hood with Russell Crowe, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:22:12] So let's move on to Final Judgments.

[1:22:16] Whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie we kind of like.

[1:22:21] Stuart, why don't you go first for once?

[1:22:23] Here's your closing argument.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22:25] Yeah, here's my closing argument.

[1:22:27] You know what, guys?

[1:22:27] Or does this go last?

[1:22:28] I watched this a second time, and again, because I watched this previously, and I didn't hate it.

[1:22:36] Didn't hate this movie.

[1:22:39] Part of it, I mean—

[1:22:40] Didn't hate it.

[1:22:41] Rave, Stuart Wellington of the flop house.

[1:22:43] I mean, I'll say that, like, it's hard—even with the material they're working with, I can't help but enjoy watching these four women do stuff.

[1:22:52] Like, they're such fun performers, and just having an excuse to watch them be even a little bit silly is great.

[1:23:02] So do I like the NFL and or the Patriots or Tom Brady or anything?

[1:23:07] No, of course not.

[1:23:08] I don't give a shit about that.

[1:23:09] But I think this movie is fine.

[1:23:11] It's absolutely fine.

[1:23:13] I kind of like it.

Dan McCoy

[1:23:15] I didn't know that absolutely fine and whether we hate it or not was the—

[1:23:19] We're the only choices.

[1:23:20] Yeah, I mean, like, certainly I did not find this as unwatchable as many of the movies we end up, you know, proving me wrong by watching for the flop house.

[1:23:32] But, yeah, I didn't—the mitigating fact of having these women as the leads only went so far for me.

[1:23:42] If anything, it probably made me more angry that they had so little to work with.

[1:23:48] You know, I don't want to give this film credit for having good actors and then giving them nothing to do.

[1:23:56] Stunt casting?

[1:23:58] I wouldn't call it stunt casting.

[1:23:59] It's just good casting.

[1:24:01] But it's like, yeah, I don't know.

[1:24:03] This movie was a whole lot of nothing.

[1:24:05] Like, they didn't even do the basic minimum of making this type of movie, which would be to, you know, have a sort of a plot that had some sort of connective tissue between the individual scenes rather than just a series of stuff.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:22] The major conflict of the movie would essentially be solved by visiting Lost and Found.

[1:24:28] And that the movie builds up hospital test results that we never actually find out.

[1:24:33] Like, it just never—we don't even get closure on.

[1:24:35] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[1:24:36] They imply there's a chance, there's a moment in the flash forward when they're all setting up to watch the game.

[1:24:43] And they imply that there's a chance Lou could be dead.

[1:24:47] But then she comes out of the kitchen.

Elliott Kalan

[1:24:48] They do have a brief moment where she is not there.

[1:24:53] So you think maybe she's dead, but she's still there.

[1:24:55] And even that, like, the movie just doesn't have the courage to make more of that moment.

[1:25:00] Like, it doesn't—they don't do much with it.

[1:25:02] But it's a—I agree with Dan.

[1:25:03] It's a real nothing of a movie.

[1:25:05] I would call this a bad, bad movie with the caveat that, like, I like a lot of the people in the cast, and I'm glad they got paid for doing something.

[1:25:13] I wish—but it does feel like a huge waste of—a huge waste of potential talent and potential laughs, potential drama.

[1:25:21] It's just a—it's a real—it is a movie that feels—it's like this is the kind of movie I expect to see after the writer's strike, where they had to put it in production.

[1:25:30] They didn't have a finished script.

[1:25:31] They're working off of an outline.

[1:25:32] They've got to ad-lib it on the fly.

[1:25:35] Like, that's what it feels like.

[1:25:36] But—

Stuart Wellington

[1:25:36] So wait, are you telling me that the—with the writer's strike, I could get more movies like this?

[1:25:42] Oh, boy.

[1:25:43] That's what I'm saying, Stuart.

[1:25:44] Turn them against the—

[1:25:45] Oh, wow.

Dan McCoy

[1:25:46] Let me get my drool bucket.

[1:25:48] I mean, I will also add a caveat, which is, like—

[1:25:51] A dick caveat, yeah.

[1:25:52] Obviously, to some degree, this is true of every movie, but, like—

[1:25:57] But it's not real.

[1:25:58] This is—this movie is not for everybody.

[1:26:02] Like, and I could see a different audience, one that is less snobby about comedy or story structure

[1:26:11] and just wants to see, like, their old friends together and likes football.

[1:26:15] Like, if you think that you're into this type of movie—

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:19] I'd be willing to bet that those are not the listeners to this podcast.

[1:26:22] Sure.

[1:26:23] I think that this—this movie fails, I think, on the would my mom like this level.

[1:26:26] There's a bunch of movies we've seen where my mom would have liked them,

[1:26:29] and I think this would have even failed to—

[1:26:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:31] —to have enough to keep her—to keep her attention, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:35] Yeah.

[1:26:35] But you're right, Dan.

[1:26:36] There are—I'm sure there are people who are like, I want to see these stars.

[1:26:39] I like Tom Brady.

[1:26:40] Finally, they're all together, and it's—it's everything I've always dreamed of,

[1:26:44] and now it's my favorite movie of all time.

[1:26:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:26:48] Okay, well, you know, as we said, God will render his judgment, I presume upon—

[1:26:54] I haven't been struck down with lightning yet.

[1:26:56] The day of reckoning.

[1:26:57] Because that guy is Zeus.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26:58] Unfortunately, it's not going to happen until the day of judgment when the dead rise again

[1:27:01] and the souls are weighed and 80 for Brady is finally given its just decision.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:06] Yeah, whether it's sent to heaven or hell.

[1:27:09] But until that time, you know what?

[1:27:11] We got a few sponsors for the podcast, and one of them is—

[1:27:17] The New England Patriots.

[1:27:18] Oh, no.

[1:27:19] No, it's Lumi Labs.

[1:27:20] Lumi Labs.

[1:27:21] Microdose gummies.

[1:27:23] Our show today is sponsored by Microdose gummies.

[1:27:26] Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[1:27:32] Say, I don't know, you want to relax after getting all tense watching 80 for Brady and, you know, yelling about all the rich veins of character conflict and plot incident that they have left on the table.

[1:27:49] You can chill out with a Microdose gummy-proof movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:27:51] I guess what I was mad about with 80 for Brady is I was paid for the whole seat, but I was only using the edge.

Dan McCoy

[1:27:57] I'll tell you this about Microdose.

[1:27:59] They're available nationwide.

[1:28:01] It is.

[1:28:02] To learn more about Microdosing THC, go to Microdose.com and use code FLOP, that is F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[1:28:12] Links can be found in the show description.

[1:28:14] But again, that is Microdose.com, code FLOP.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28:19] We also have another sponsor today, folks, and that is Squarespace.

[1:28:24] Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online.

[1:28:30] Stand out with a beautiful website.

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[1:29:17] So head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial.

[1:29:23] And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or domain.

S4

[1:29:37] Trans representation in media is at an all-time high, with trans entertainers gracing the screens large and small.

[1:29:44] But trans voices, especially black trans voices, are rarely centered in our own stories.

[1:29:48] That's why we bring you a new limited series called We See Each Other, the podcast,

[1:29:52] co-hosted by me, journalists, and better half of the MaxFun podcast, Fanta,

[1:29:57] Trayvall Anderson,

[1:29:58] and me, award-winning journalist and media personality, Sharjah Sell.

[1:30:02] All of it is based on my book, We See Each Other, A Black Trans Journey Through TV and Film.

[1:30:07] Now listen, folks, we're having a very different kind of conversation.

[1:30:10] It's giving kitchen table talk.

[1:30:12] Mm-hmm.

[1:30:12] We get into the discourse, honey.

[1:30:14] Tune in to We See Each Other, the podcast, at MaximumFun.org, or wherever you get Slayworthy audio.

S5

[1:30:20] The Legend of Zelda, Tears of the Kingdom.

S4

[1:30:23] Diablo 4.

[1:30:24] Final Fantasy 16.

[1:30:26] Street Fighter 6.

[1:30:27] Baldur's Gate 3.

[1:30:29] Starfield.

[1:30:30] Spider-Man 2.

[1:30:31] Master Detective Archives raincoat for Nintendo Switch?

[1:30:35] No?

[1:30:35] Is that just me?

[1:30:37] It's a huge time for video games.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:40] You need somebody to tell you what's good, what's not so good, and what's amazing.

S4

[1:30:45] I'm Jason Schreier.

[1:30:46] I'm Maddie Myers.

[1:30:47] And I'm Kirk Hamilton.

Dan McCoy

[1:30:48] We're the hosts of Triple Click, a video game podcast for anyone who likes games.

S4

[1:30:54] Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1:30:58] Bye.

[1:30:59] Bye.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:00] Bye.

[1:31:01] Any more business before we move on, fellas?

[1:31:04] Let's move on.

[1:31:06] Well, let's move on then to letters from listeners.

[1:31:10] Listeners like you who have written letters to us.

[1:31:14] This one is...

[1:31:15] Like me.

[1:31:16] Yeah.

[1:31:16] This one's from...

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:18] Listeners like you.

Elliott Kalan

[1:31:19] Writing letters to podcasters like us.

[1:31:22] Writing letters to podcasters like Stu.

[1:31:26] Writing letters to you.

[1:31:27] Don't write letters to you.

[1:31:29] Because you're already you.

[1:31:30] Write letters to us and specifically to Stu.

[1:31:34] Stu gets lonely.

[1:31:36] He doesn't get enough letters.

[1:31:39] I don't.

[1:31:39] I see the way that he runs to the mailbox each day.

[1:31:43] I don't want a letter.

[1:31:43] He opens it up and to his dismay, there's no letters in there.

[1:31:47] Aw.

[1:31:48] Nobody likes me.

[1:31:49] Even though he has great hair.

[1:31:51] Thank you.

[1:31:52] Stu needs letters, so send him some letters.

[1:31:55] Send him some letters today.

[1:31:57] Something to read.

[1:31:58] Wow.

Dan McCoy

[1:31:59] It's been a while since we had one of those.

[1:32:01] Okay.

[1:32:01] Dan gets too many letters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:03] He doesn't want any more of those letters.

[1:32:06] Oh, that's not true.

[1:32:06] He can't even shove the door shut on the mailbox.

[1:32:10] Doot, doot.

[1:32:10] Doot, doot, doot.

[1:32:11] He has to put some locks on his mailbox.

[1:32:14] Because the mailbox won't stay shut.

[1:32:16] Too many letters.

[1:32:17] That's a bunch of different.

[1:32:18] Too many letters.

[1:32:20] Part.

[1:32:20] Boop, boop, boop, boop.

Dan McCoy

[1:32:22] Okay.

[1:32:23] Well, this is from Olivia.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:24] Elliot is happy with the amount of mail that he gets.

[1:32:28] Oh, yeah.

[1:32:29] Oh, yeah.

[1:32:30] He doesn't get too many letters.

[1:32:31] Dan's leaving, I guess.

[1:32:32] Doesn't get too few.

[1:32:33] He likes the letters he gets from you.

[1:32:35] And he'd like you to maintain the current frequency of letters that you send to him.

[1:32:43] Dan, where'd you go?

[1:32:44] That was my letters suite.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:46] Dan needs to plug his laptop in so that we can.

[1:32:50] Oh, no.

[1:32:50] He needs to plug his phone in because all the stuff he's downloading is fucking up his phone

[1:32:55] battery.

Elliott Kalan

[1:32:55] All right.

[1:32:56] I guess there's time for more songs then.

Stuart Wellington

[1:32:58] We heard some stories about letters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:01] I'm reading.

[1:33:01] We heard some stories about the better ways that we could write to Stu.

[1:33:07] And the ways that we could write less to Dan.

[1:33:09] Yeah, me.

[1:33:09] And write just the same amount to me.

[1:33:14] Letters.

[1:33:15] I'm reading those.

[1:33:16] People like to get letters, but not too many or too few.

[1:33:20] Because in this life, we've only got a certain amount of time for letters.

[1:33:25] Brought to you by Cheddar.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:27] I'm reading the letters.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:29] Cheddar, the most popular cheese there is.

Dan McCoy

[1:33:30] Off my.

[1:33:31] Is that true?

[1:33:31] I think so.

[1:33:34] I'm reading letters off of my phone.

[1:33:36] And my phone was very close to dying.

[1:33:39] Oh.

[1:33:39] And I thought that if the song went on any longer, I wouldn't have any more juice.

[1:33:43] So I had to go.

[1:33:45] Anyway.

[1:33:45] Hey, Americans.

Elliott Kalan

[1:33:47] We got to buy Dan a printer.

[1:33:50] Because he's reading the letters off his phone.

[1:33:53] And that phone is running low on energy.

[1:33:55] If he could print out those letters, he'd have paper copies for his archives.

[1:34:01] And when he dies and leaves his papers to Earlham College, they'll have your letters.

[1:34:06] And you'll know that you live on whenever a student writes a thesis on Dan's recipienting of letters.

[1:34:15] Brought to you by Cheddar, the most popular cheese in the world.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:20] Anyway.

[1:34:22] This letter is from Olivia, last name with help.

[1:34:24] Coleman?

[1:34:25] Who writes?

[1:34:25] Olivia de Havilland.

[1:34:26] Hi, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:28] You know what?

[1:34:28] I'm just going to say, I would be excited by either of those Olivias writing a song.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:31] I know, right?

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:33] Olivia the pig from the kids' book of the same name, not as exciting to me.

[1:34:36] Oh, awesome.

[1:34:36] But still exciting.

[1:34:37] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:34:38] Pretty exciting.

[1:34:38] Hi, guys.

[1:34:39] I'm doing my yearly Flophouse re-listen.

[1:34:41] Don't worry.

[1:34:42] I don't start all the way back.

[1:34:43] And I skipped some guest episodes and movie minutes.

[1:34:45] And it got me thinking.

[1:34:46] Thank you.

[1:34:47] I was worried.

[1:34:48] It got me thinking.

[1:34:49] What movies have each of you seen the most times?

[1:34:52] Has Stuart really watched Castle Freak, Head of the Family, The Invisible Maniac, and The Granny as many times as he's recommended them?

Elliott Kalan

[1:34:58] I feel like The Granny is an outlier on that list.

[1:35:01] It's harder to find.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:02] Still come back to his used to be frequently referenced CD shelf to watch The Monster Squad?

[1:35:08] Does Elliot have dishwashing favorites?

[1:35:10] Thanks for all the hours of listening, Olivia, last name withheld.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:15] What movie have you seen in the theater the most?

[1:35:18] The theater.

[1:35:19] Oh, in the theater the most?

[1:35:22] I know this isn't directly the question.

[1:35:24] My answer is 100% Fellowship of the Ring.

[1:35:26] I think I've seen it like nine times in the theater.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:29] I am not one to go and re-watch new release movies in the theater.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:37] Not even like Mad Max Fury Road or something?

Dan McCoy

[1:35:40] No, I only saw that the one time.

[1:35:44] In the theater?

[1:35:45] No, no, no.

[1:35:45] You've seen it since then though, right?

[1:35:46] No, no.

[1:35:46] I saw it twice in the theater.

[1:35:47] I did go and re-watch that one.

Stuart Wellington

[1:35:49] I think I saw that twice within a 12-hour period.

Dan McCoy

[1:35:53] But it tends to be more like, okay, over the course of several years, if there's something that's like a repertory thing.

[1:36:00] I mean, I've probably seen Stop Making Sense three or four times in the theater.

Stuart Wellington

[1:36:03] Yeah, I just got tickets to a repertory screening of Reanimator.

[1:36:07] Four.

[1:36:08] Never seen the theater.

[1:36:09] Can't wait.

Elliott Kalan

[1:36:09] In the theater, I've probably seen 2001 A Space Odyssey the most times.

[1:36:15] But also maybe The Taking of Palomone, Two, Three.

[1:36:19] It's possible.

[1:36:20] If you're talking movies overall, seen in any medium.

[1:36:23] I feel like I used to re-watch movies a lot.

[1:36:26] Now I feel like I never have the chance to, because there's so many movies I want to see.

[1:36:30] So I guess I re-watch them when I watch them with my kids.

[1:36:32] But probably either one of these four is the one I've seen the most overall.

[1:36:37] Star Wars, the first one.

[1:36:39] A Night at the Opera.

[1:36:41] The Taking of Palomone, Two, Three.

[1:36:42] We're Singing in the Rain.

[1:36:43] One of those is the movie I've seen the most, and I'm not sure which it is.

[1:36:46] I've seen those, I don't know how many times.

[1:36:48] Many, many times.

Dan McCoy

[1:36:49] I had some VHS tapes that I had dubbed off of TV that I watched over and over again.

[1:37:00] And it's quite possible.

[1:37:01] Late at night when no one else was around?

[1:37:03] Yeah, those are the movies I'm talking about.

[1:37:04] Well, there were those.

[1:37:06] But it's quite possible that it's one of these three.

[1:37:12] Aliens, Heathers, and kind of an outlier, Army of Darkness.

[1:37:17] I just watched over and over.

[1:37:18] Almost a plural.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:19] I like that the first two were plurals.

[1:37:21] Yeah.

[1:37:21] Any chance, any of those were taped off of TV so you had the commercials in there?

Dan McCoy

[1:37:27] I think it would have been taped off HBO because I really tried to avoid taping stuff with commercials.

[1:37:32] I didn't like it.

[1:37:32] But nowadays you're like, I wish I saw those commercials.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:35] No, I know.

Dan McCoy

[1:37:35] Now that I'm old, I want to see those commercials again.

[1:37:38] I'll go to YouTube and watch all the different films.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:40] If I saw those goddamn commercials with the fucking McNuggets doing the Skip to Maloo McNugget,

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:44] it would just make me so happy right now.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:47] Sweet memories.

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:47] Guys, I thought of two other movies I should have put on my list that I can't believe I forgot about.

Stuart Wellington

[1:37:51] Yeah.

[1:37:51] Gremlins and Gremlins 2?

Elliott Kalan

[1:37:53] Well, I'm combining those.

[1:37:54] Gremlins, Gremlins 2, I'm combining.

[1:37:55] But that and The Wizard of Oz, which I can't believe.

[1:37:58] That might be the movie I've seen more than any other.

[1:38:00] It's probably The Wizard of Oz.

[1:38:01] But Gremlins was one when I was a kid I watched over and over and over again.

[1:38:04] So it's one of those.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:06] I've certainly seen It's a Wonderful Life a lot too because I used to just, you know,

[1:38:10] whenever I would run across it during the Christmas season, I would watch it because I really loved that movie.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:16] See, I'm deliberately not counting A Christmas Story because those times when TNT would run it for 24 hours straight,

[1:38:22] I don't celebrate Christmas.

[1:38:24] I'm not doing anything that day.

[1:38:25] So me and my brother would watch it a couple times.

[1:38:27] But I feel like that's inflate.

[1:38:28] That's pumping the numbers.

[1:38:29] Yeah.

[1:38:29] That's messing with it.

[1:38:30] That's artificial.

Stuart Wellington

[1:38:30] I've definitely watched Ricky O's Story of Ricky a lot because I'll find people who haven't seen it.

[1:38:35] And I'll be like, I guess we're going to watch this together.

[1:38:38] Be prepared for this journey.

Dan McCoy

[1:38:42] Let's move on to the next one.

[1:38:43] It's from Zach, last name withheld.

[1:38:45] And it's kind of, let's call this an epilogue to last week's behind the scenes mini because it's a behind the scenes question.

[1:38:55] Okay.

[1:38:56] And it's one that I think we have.

Elliott Kalan

[1:38:58] We're showing a higher level of production than we usually do.

[1:39:00] I like that.

[1:39:01] Production planning.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:02] This is a question that we have answered on the air before, but you know what?

[1:39:06] We do pick up listeners along the years who don't remember every little bit of lore.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:11] They don't remember every little bit of lore we tell them.

[1:39:15] Every little thing we say on here.

[1:39:18] I was wondering about the-

[1:39:19] Every little thing we say on the podcast that you take in through your ear.

[1:39:26] I mean, you got to give it to them for this one.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:29] Yeah.

[1:39:30] I guess I do have to give it to them.

[1:39:31] And what I'm giving him, this lawsuit from the police.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:35] Oh!

[1:39:36] ACAB.

[1:39:38] Oh, so they're nowhere when they're needed, but they'll sue me over.

[1:39:41] They're songs, huh?

Dan McCoy

[1:39:42] Guys, I think you both are showing a lack of understanding about the fan.

Elliott Kalan

[1:39:45] So the police are either, they won't protect people, but they'll hassle protesters and they'll sue me.

[1:39:49] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:51] Yeah.

[1:39:52] I'm sorry.

[1:39:53] I'm getting questions from Audrey about dinner.

Stuart Wellington

[1:39:56] No, please.

[1:39:57] Talk about it on air.

Dan McCoy

[1:39:58] Well, I mean, I'm saying that so you guys can vamp a little while I do.

[1:40:02] Is that the question now that we're going to answer is the dinner?

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:04] So what is Dan going to eat for dinner tonight?

Stuart Wellington

[1:40:06] Yeah.

[1:40:06] What does my tummy feel like putting in it?

[1:40:09] Are you still on your, are you still on your, like,

[1:40:11] low FODMAP diet?

[1:40:12] I, I, well, I am.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:14] I have started to add a few things back in.

[1:40:17] Oh, cool.

[1:40:17] Uh, I, I'm sure you'll all be glad to learn that, uh,

[1:40:21] onions and garlic aren't a problem.

[1:40:23] I don't think that.

[1:40:23] Yeah, that's horrible.

[1:40:25] Yeah, you need those.

[1:40:25] Those are wonderful.

[1:40:27] Uh, corn syrup that I, you know, could, would be good to eliminate in general,

[1:40:31] but isn't everything.

[1:40:31] It's not good for you.

[1:40:32] Yeah.

[1:40:32] So it's hard to avoid.

Elliott Kalan

[1:40:34] What if we lived in a world where onions and garlic were in everything except for corn syrup?

[1:40:37] What a heaven that would be.

[1:40:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:40:38] Oh, man.

[1:40:39] And, uh, uh, you know, soy sauce.

[1:40:41] We eat a lot of.

[1:40:42] Yeah.

[1:40:43] Soy sauce.

[1:40:44] Uh, so those are back in.

[1:40:45] Those are back in.

[1:40:46] Those are back in, baby.

[1:40:47] If you, you know, listeners who are, you know, if you want to track it on the big board.

[1:40:51] Yeah.

[1:40:51] Fill those in on your, uh, on your bingo cards.

[1:40:55] On your Dan's current diet bingo cards.

[1:40:57] Don't cause me to have violent bowel movements and, uh, just, uh, yeah, we can.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:04] Just normal bowel movements.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:05] Just normal style ones.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:06] Dan, you shouldn't be eating, you shouldn't be eating guns and swords.

[1:41:09] That's, I think, part of the problem.

[1:41:10] Yeah.

[1:41:10] Mm.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:11] Uh, but I needed more iron.

[1:41:14] Elliot does a flip take out of the panel.

[1:41:16] Flip just my shoes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:41:20] Okay, well.

[1:41:20] And we've done it, people.

[1:41:22] We have our Bazooka Joe for the week.

[1:41:23] Oh, that was a hard one.

[1:41:24] All right.

[1:41:25] Come back on Monday with three ideas each.

[1:41:27] We cannot have another week like this.

[1:41:28] Three ideas each.

Dan McCoy

[1:41:31] Um, we have, uh, put off answering this question for a long time.

[1:41:35] Anyway, it goes like this.

[1:41:36] I was wondering about the theme song.

[1:41:38] I've never heard you or the other floppers talk about it.

[1:41:41] It's great.

[1:41:41] What's its story?

[1:41:42] Who made it?

[1:41:43] What kind of direction did you give the musician who created the, created it?

[1:41:47] Zach, last name withheld.

[1:41:49] Um, it has been, uh, mentioned before, but as stated, probably a long time ago, it is done

[1:41:56] by Keith Bergun.

[1:41:57] A guy that I knew through Brock, I think, recommended him.

[1:42:01] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:42:01] So, so my, my, my former writing partner and sketch partner and one of my close friends,

[1:42:06] Brock Mahan, uh, he is one of his close friends from childhood, I believe, is a man named Keith

[1:42:12] Bergun, who now works mainly in kind of gaming, role-playing gaming and video gaming, I believe.

[1:42:18] Um, uh, but he's also a very talented musician and he wrote that song for us a long time ago.

Dan McCoy

[1:42:22] Yeah.

[1:42:23] Yeah.

[1:42:23] And as for the instruction, he, he originally gave basically the same tune, but it sounded

[1:42:28] a lot more bluesy.

[1:42:29] He said he was like inspired by the idea of flop house to do a bluesy thing, which, uh, makes

[1:42:36] sense.

[1:42:36] But, you know, for our show, I was like, I don't know if that's right.

[1:42:39] Could you Simpsons-ify it a little bit more?

[1:42:42] Like the, I want a little bit more like the circus kind of energy of like that goofy theme

[1:42:47] song.

[1:42:48] And he just took the same tune, changed the instrumentation around a bit and, uh, got us

[1:42:54] our, our theme song.

[1:42:57] And that's the story.

[1:42:58] And now, you know, the rest of the story.

[1:43:02] It's great.

[1:43:03] If you're familiar with the podcast.

[1:43:05] Yeah.

[1:43:05] It's great.

[1:43:06] And if you're familiar with, uh, was that Paul Harvey?

[1:43:09] Yes.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:10] If you're familiar with the reference to Paul Harvey, a radio storyteller.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:13] Wait, I thought he was, uh, I thought he was like an invisible rabbit or something.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:18] Uh, no, that's just Harvey.

[1:43:19] I don't know.

[1:43:20] He has another name.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:20] Is his first name Paul?

[1:43:22] No.

[1:43:23] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:23] His last name might be Paul.

Elliott Kalan

[1:43:25] Harvey Paul.

[1:43:26] He's one of the Paul brothers.

[1:43:27] Yeah.

[1:43:28] He got in trouble cause this, he was, he was an imaginary rabbit at a suicide forest in

[1:43:32] Japan and he made light of it.

[1:43:33] Oh no.

[1:43:33] That's too bad.

[1:43:34] Oh.

[1:43:35] Yeah.

[1:43:35] Now he's an amateur boxer.

[1:43:36] I know those are two different Paul brothers.

Stuart Wellington

[1:43:38] I think.

[1:43:38] I think it's the same one.

[1:43:39] Elliot's cast a Paul over the proceedings.

[1:43:42] That's a different Paul as well.

[1:43:44] Word play, word play, word play, word play, word play.

[1:43:47] Oh fuck.

[1:43:48] Oh shit.

[1:43:48] I gotta join that picket line.

[1:43:50] I'm a writer now guys.

[1:43:50] You gotta do it.

Dan McCoy

[1:43:51] You are a writer.

[1:43:52] Yeah.

[1:43:52] You know what?

[1:43:53] I'm talking about, uh,

[1:43:56] now I should talk about it.

[1:43:58] We're here.

[1:44:00] Uh, talking about stuff.

[1:44:03] Yeah.

[1:44:03] I forget the segue I was going to make.

[1:44:05] I started.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:05] So you went for the most, the most general universal segue that anyone could use.

[1:44:10] That the one that's behind the glass that says break in case of need of segue.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:13] Stuff.

[1:44:14] So this is the part of the podcast where we recommend a movie that you might want to watch

[1:44:18] after watching 80 for Brady.

[1:44:20] Or instead of.

[1:44:23] Uh, I'm going to recommend a movie that I watched with my good old pal, Dan McCoy.

[1:44:27] We went to a movie theater.

[1:44:29] Uh, he's this cool dude sitting next to me.

[1:44:31] He's got a little bit of an attitude, but I love him for it.

[1:44:34] Uh, we went to go see Evil Dead Arise.

[1:44:37] We went to an afternoon screening.

[1:44:39] There were a lot of children there, which is crazy for a movie about a demonically possessed

[1:44:43] mom who kills her kids.

[1:44:45] A movie that has.

Dan McCoy

[1:44:46] A movie that has Evil Dead in the title.

[1:44:47] Buckets of Blood.

[1:44:48] Several more buckets of blood than the film titled Buckets of Blood, I would say.

[1:44:51] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:44:52] Surprisingly little blood in buckets.

[1:44:53] In Bucket of Blood.

[1:44:53] Yeah.

[1:44:54] Yeah.

[1:44:54] Only one bucket full.

Stuart Wellington

[1:44:55] Yeah.

[1:44:56] Evil Dead Arise.

[1:44:57] Uh, it's been like, what, 10 years since the Evil Dead remake.

[1:45:00] It is not related that I understand.

[1:45:03] Um, the Evil Dead remake, I recently rewatched.

[1:45:06] A lot of fun.

[1:45:07] Not goofy at all.

[1:45:08] Just very bleak and super gross and gory.

[1:45:11] But what an ending shot.

[1:45:12] It's amazing.

[1:45:13] Uh, and a great setup.

[1:45:15] But Evil Dead Arise is kind of like a mix between the bleakness of, uh, the remake

[1:45:20] and the goofiness of the original trilogy.

[1:45:23] Uh, it has a.

[1:45:25] Uh, like a lot of horror movies now, it has like a big opening with a scary part.

[1:45:30] And then we pull back and we have a lot of setup.

[1:45:33] And it takes its time and it kind of introduces the world in this apartment building that the

[1:45:39] uh, deadites, uh, will slowly turn into a horrible hellscape trap.

[1:45:44] Uh, if, I guess if there's a, if I have a critique, it's that it is very obvious with

[1:45:49] seeding its Chekhov's, I don't know, wood chippers, tattoo needles, et cetera.

[1:45:55] But.

[1:45:56] But it's fine.

[1:45:56] To the degree that I.

[1:45:58] And it also feels like it's of a piece with Evil Dead movies.

[1:46:01] Like Evil Dead movies don't hide.

[1:46:03] They're not subtle movies.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:05] The Evil Dead series has never been a subtle.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:07] Yeah.

[1:46:08] To me, it was tipping its hand in the same way that like, uh, you know, a Three Stooges short

[1:46:13] would tip its hand where it's like, now, now I'm going to go away while you clean.

[1:46:17] Don't break anything.

[1:46:18] You know?

[1:46:19] Yeah.

[1:46:20] Uh, yeah.

[1:46:21] I, I, I enjoyed it too.

[1:46:23] It was good enough that, um, there was a woman next to me who I had to tell to turn her phone

[1:46:28] light off and who then gave me a look like I was an asshole for, uh, pointing out that

[1:46:35] that was not allowed.

Stuart Wellington

[1:46:36] But how do you say it?

[1:46:37] How do you say it?

[1:46:37] Did you say it like an asshole would say it?

Dan McCoy

[1:46:39] Uh, I said you can't have your phone on in here.

[1:46:42] Oh, okay.

[1:46:43] I get it now.

Elliott Kalan

[1:46:44] Um, I don't know that you're the hero of the story, Dan, but I'm glad, but it is germane

[1:46:47] to the audience's understanding of, of Evil Dead Rise.

[1:46:50] So.

[1:46:51] What are you talking about?

[1:46:52] You, you can't have your phone on here.

[1:46:54] No, no, no.

[1:46:55] It's fine.

[1:46:55] It's literally true.

[1:46:56] No, no.

[1:46:57] We need you on that wall, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[1:46:58] I'm just, I'm just saying, you know.

[1:46:59] I gotta look like I, you know, I'm the problem.

[1:47:03] And, uh, the fact that I didn't stress over that for longer than seven minutes is a testimony

[1:47:09] to the, uh, the power of the movie.

[1:47:13] Yeah, it's really fun.

[1:47:13] I'm able to put it behind me in a way that, uh, often, uh, a lesser film, Dan would be

[1:47:19] stewing about that for the entire runtime.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:22] Yeah.

[1:47:22] It's, it's good and gross.

[1:47:24] It's gory.

[1:47:24] It's fun.

[1:47:25] It's goopy.

[1:47:26] Thumbs up.

[1:47:27] Got the four Gs.

[1:47:28] Good, gross, gory, and goofy.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:30] I want to make it clear also that this woman was not doing anything arguably necessary on

[1:47:36] her phone.

[1:47:37] She was, she had her photo album open and was scrolling through it during the first.

[1:47:42] Was it the hidden folder?

[1:47:43] Five minutes of the film.

Elliott Kalan

[1:47:45] It seems like the movie wasn't really grabbing her attention.

[1:47:47] So maybe we should get on her here and get her on here to rebut Stewart's recommendation

[1:47:51] of the film.

Stuart Wellington

[1:47:51] I think that's actually a good idea.

[1:47:53] And if anything, to reunite the two of you guys so you could squash this buh-buh-buh-beef.

Dan McCoy

[1:47:58] On today is Flop Court.

[1:48:00] I mean, it seemed, it seemed to be fun.

[1:48:02] They're married now.

[1:48:03] Yeah.

[1:48:04] I'm not, look, it's not, usually I try and find something that's not literally the number

[1:48:12] I know where this is going.

[1:48:13] I know where this is going.

[1:48:13] Let me say recommend 80 for Brady.

[1:48:15] Recommend.

[1:48:17] You know, it's nicer to shine a light on something people maybe haven't heard of.

[1:48:21] But I haven't seen a lot recently and the thing I enjoyed the most was the new Guardians

[1:48:25] film, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3.

[1:48:29] AKA the Adam Warlock movie.

[1:48:31] If you have.

Elliott Kalan

[1:48:32] I haven't seen it yet, but from what I've heard, they do not do Adam Warlock justice.

Stuart Wellington

[1:48:35] Hey, let Dan finish his recommendation.

[1:48:38] Sorry, sorry.

Dan McCoy

[1:48:38] I mean, if all you care about is Adam Warlock, this movie is not going to serve you well Adam

[1:48:44] Warlock wise.

[1:48:45] If you have enjoyed the previous two Guardians movies, I think you will enjoy this one.

[1:48:50] Jim Starlin turns off the podcast.

[1:48:52] I think that one of the reasons I know that Marvel fatigue is real is that no one, I've heard

[1:48:59] very few people talk about how absolutely bizarre a lot of this movie is.

[1:49:03] Like, I feel like, you know, 10 years ago, if there was a blockbuster where part of it

[1:49:10] was, I don't know, they go to a living like space station where they have to carve through

[1:49:16] the organic skin of the station to go in to do a little heist, that people would be like,

[1:49:23] can you believe that this giant blockbuster has like this weird stuff in it?

Elliott Kalan

[1:49:27] But now, I guess, I mean, it's the third movie in a series that stars a talking raccoon that

[1:49:32] shoots people.

Dan McCoy

[1:49:33] So I know, but part of my point is we've become a nerd to it.

[1:49:36] And I'm saying like, if you are a little marveled out, like this is a movie that is still has

[1:49:45] a lot of the weird spirit and, and still pushes further than I think you would expect out of

[1:49:52] a big silly blockbuster with like having weird fun stuff going on at all times.

[1:49:59] And, uh, yeah.

[1:50:00] And emotional stakes that actually mean something like jokes that come out of the characters

[1:50:05] rather than just being like, let's, we need to quit here, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[1:50:09] Yeah.

[1:50:10] It's like, it's genuinely fun.

[1:50:11] I've, I've seen this as well and it's genuinely funny.

[1:50:14] And it is like, I feel like I went in kind of with a chip on my shoulder and there was

[1:50:19] a few things that I, I had some issues with the, uh, the, the animal cruelty and the emotional

[1:50:27] manipulation of it.

[1:50:29] Uh, but, uh, maybe that's just me.

[1:50:32] I don't like seeing animals getting hurt.

[1:50:34] No, Dan loves that stuff though.

Dan McCoy

[1:50:35] I, yeah, I don't know why, like I am a big time animal lover.

[1:50:40] I think it is for me, number one, the fact that they're all CGI animals, like that helps.

[1:50:47] And I know that, uh, the, the higher brain functions, you know, are still locked in and

[1:50:52] being like, I don't need to, but, but also just like, I think it is to an end.

[1:50:56] Like it is clear that James Gunn is upset about the idea of like animal cruelty and animal

[1:51:02] testing.

[1:51:03] And this is his vehicle towards that rather than it just being like, let's show some fucked

[1:51:08] up shit or something.

Stuart Wellington

[1:51:10] Yeah.

[1:51:11] Yeah.

[1:51:11] But I mean, he also shows some fucked up shit.

[1:51:13] Uh, yeah, it's good.

[1:51:15] It's fun.

Elliott Kalan

[1:51:16] Uh, I'm recommending also a movie that I guess has some fucked up animal shit in it.

[1:51:21] And it's kind of a horror movie, but it's also a documentary somehow.

[1:51:25] And that movie is the Academy Award winner for best documentary in 1972, the Hellstrom

[1:51:31] Chronicle.

[1:51:32] So the Hellstrom Chronicle is a documentary about insects that is factual.

[1:51:37] It has the, some of the most amazing closeup insect footage I've ever seen.

[1:51:41] And it's telling you real things about insects, but it is narrated by a fictional scientist

[1:51:46] who is trying to convince you that we are in a life or death battle between humans and insects

[1:51:50] for who will be the ultimate owners of the planet.

[1:51:53] And it's the first time I've seen a documentary where it's like,

[1:51:55] it's a documentary told as if it's a horror story, you know, and, uh, with, with a, with,

[1:52:00] a, with fear as its main impetus, but also the fear is so over the top that at times

[1:52:05] it's funny.

[1:52:05] And some of the, so there is some footage of ants overrunning animals at one point that

[1:52:10] is very, that is genuinely very frightening and disturbing.

[1:52:12] And it was directed by, uh, Whelan Green, who has done a lot of TV writing work, but

[1:52:16] also wrote the screenplay for the wild bunch.

[1:52:18] He wrote the screenplay for sorcerer.

[1:52:20] He also wrote the screenplay for solar babies, but you can't, you can't totally hold that

[1:52:23] against him.

[1:52:24] Uh, man, he nailed it.

[1:52:25] Yeah.

[1:52:25] And it's, uh, it's just a, uh, it's, it was a really like, uh, and it's, and it's written

[1:52:32] by, uh, David Seltzer who wrote the screenplay for the Omen, uh, among other things.

[1:52:36] Uh, so there's, it has a real horror feel to it.

[1:52:39] It feels scary, but it is a real documentary with real footage of insects and real facts

[1:52:44] about insects.

[1:52:44] And I thought it was a really cool way to get that information across, but also it was,

[1:52:49] it was really fun to watch a, like a horror documentary that wasn't like a found footage

[1:52:54] type, you know, thing, but instead felt like a documentary.

[1:52:57] So that's the Hellstrom Chronicle.

[1:52:59] And I believe it's on Tubi.

[1:53:02] Oh, Tubi Treasure.

[1:53:04] Actually, I watched it on YouTube.

[1:53:05] Nevermind.

[1:53:06] It might still be on Tubi, but I watched it on YouTube.

[1:53:07] Oh, YouTube.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:07] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:08] The original Tubi, YouTube.

[1:53:10] I went to put it on my Letterboxd watch list and I found that something had already landed

[1:53:15] it there.

[1:53:16] So you're only doubling up the recommendation, making me more keen on watches.

[1:53:20] Oh, Dan's salivating.

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:21] It's real good.

[1:53:22] And I do want to mention, we talked about Guardians of the Galaxy and how it does not necessarily

[1:53:25] service the needs of Adam Warlock fans.

[1:53:27] If you're going to the Hellstrom Chronicle, hoping that it services your need as a fan

[1:53:30] of Damon Hellstrom, son of Satan, another Marvel character, he is not, he does not appear

[1:53:35] in the film.

[1:53:35] I think the film came out before that character was invented.

Stuart Wellington

[1:53:38] What about, what about mad scientist Darius Hellstrom from the Deadlands universe, tabletop

[1:53:42] role-playing game universe?

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:43] Again, does not appear in it.

[1:53:45] There is a scientist who is mad about things, but I don't know that it's the same character.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:48] And what about Strom Thurmond, who is currently burning in hell?

Elliott Kalan

[1:53:52] Yeah.

[1:53:52] That's a good question.

[1:53:53] Also not, he was alive concurrently to when this movie was made, but it does not appear

[1:53:58] in it and is not referenced in it.

Dan McCoy

[1:53:59] Okay.

[1:54:00] Interesting.

[1:54:01] Yeah.

[1:54:01] Well, full of facts.

[1:54:03] Full of facts, the Flophouse.

[1:54:05] Hey, we've gone long enough.

[1:54:08] Now it's time to say goodbye.

[1:54:10] And every time we say goodbye-

[1:54:10] I think two hours was about the right amount of time to talk about 80 for Brady.

Stuart Wellington

[1:54:15] Can't wait for 85, Brady.

Dan McCoy

[1:54:19] Thank you, as always, to Alex Smith.

[1:54:22] He goes by the name of Howell Doughty on various socials.

[1:54:26] Now, if you're wondering, is this Howell like it's spelled in Howell's Moving Castle?

[1:54:30] It is not.

[1:54:31] It is spelled Howell.

[1:54:36] H-O-W-E-L-L.

[1:54:39] I was going to say Howell.

[1:54:39] Like C. Thomas Howell.

[1:54:40] But like that would-

[1:54:42] Or William Dean Howell.

[1:54:42] You'd get a double W in that sense.

[1:54:45] Howell.

Dan McCoy

[1:54:46] Oh.

[1:54:47] Think of Howell well, but then remove one of those Ws and the space.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54:52] No, no, to put it into layman's terms, it's like William Dean Howell's without the S at the end of Howell's.

[1:54:57] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:54:57] I hope that that was edifying.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:00] More like Howell's Moving Castle, but with an E and an extra L.

[1:55:03] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:05] I guess that would have been the shorter way.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:06] I guess we could have just spelled it.

[1:55:08] That would have been the shortest way to do it.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:09] Yeah, that would have been the shortest.

[1:55:10] But anyway, if you're interested, look up all of his other endeavors.

[1:55:14] Thank you, Alex.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:15] Just imagine you're saying, ho, well, like you're Robin Hood or something.

[1:55:19] Yes, exactly.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:20] But with no space.

[1:55:22] Yeah.

[1:55:22] Anyway.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:23] Yeah, you're not Robin Hood in space, Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:25] Like he lived hundreds of years ago.

[1:55:26] It's like you're saying, how in the hell, but you remove the in the and the H from hell because you're from jolly old England.

[1:55:33] And then smushed them together into one word, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:55:35] Made it very clear for all of you.

[1:55:37] So you can, Alex, you're welcome.

[1:55:41] And thank you to Maximum Fun.

[1:55:43] Go to MaximumFun.org to find other great podcasts on the MaxFun Network.

[1:55:48] But for now, for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[1:55:52] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:55:53] I'm Elliot Kalin saying, WJA strong.

[1:55:56] Please support us.

[1:55:57] We appreciate it.

Stuart Wellington

[1:55:58] Okay, bye.

[1:56:01] On this episode, we discuss 80 for Brady.

[1:56:11] And we'll see if it's a home run or a strikeout.

[1:56:18] I mean, that was pretty good, too.

[1:56:20] Yeah, that's great.

[1:56:20] Yeah, we might have to do both of them.

Dan McCoy

[1:56:23] Okay.

[1:56:25] And now, here we go.

S4

[1:56:28] MaximumFun.org.

[1:56:30] Comedy and culture.

S5

[1:56:31] Artist owned.

[1:56:33] Audience supported.

Episode #396 - 80 for Brady

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