FH Mini - Holiday Hallmarking, with Amber Nash

[0:00] Hey, listeners, just a few quick words up the top to remind you that Flop TV is going

[0:05] on right now.

[0:07] It's the first Saturday of every month.

[0:09] If you want to watch it live and chat with other listeners in the chat, viewers in the

[0:15] chat, send us some messages to be answered perhaps at the end of the show.

[0:21] We've been having a lot of fun going through famous bad movies of the decades.

[0:27] All of that will be available video on demand as well for ticket holders up through the

[0:32] end of the Flop TV season.

[0:34] You can get a season pass and watch all of them.

[0:37] You can binge them during the holidays.

[0:40] It's a lot of fun.

[0:41] So if you're interested, go to theflophouse.simpletics.com and check out our extra flop streams.

[0:51] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flop House.

[0:57] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:58] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:59] My name continues to be Elliot Kalin.

[1:01] I've been thinking about changing it, but I'm going to keep it the way it is since I

[1:04] have a new book out, Joke Farming, How to Write Comedy and Other Nonsense.

[1:07] If I change my name, people won't know that I wrote it.

[1:09] Anyway, continue, Dan.

[1:10] What are we doing today?

[1:11] Well, first, allow me to welcome our guest, Amber Nash.

[1:17] Say hello.

[1:18] Hi.

[1:19] Thanks for having me.

[1:21] You may know Amber as Pam from Archer, and she is now doing an Archer rewatch podcast

[1:29] for maximum fun.

[1:32] Tell everyone.

[1:33] Rephrasing.

[1:34] Yes.

[1:35] Rephrasing.

[1:36] Yes.

[1:37] That's what it's called.

[1:38] Rephrasing an Archer rewatch podcast, which is when I was naming a podcast, guys.

[1:40] I was like, let me get a real bunch of words that are hard to say.

[1:45] Archer fans know the importance of phrasing, though.

[1:48] Phrasing is very important.

[1:49] I'm very excited to have you here today.

[1:50] I'm a big Archer fan, and I think Pam is such a hilarious character.

[1:53] Thank you.

[1:54] She is the best character.

[1:55] But I realized working on the show that by season three, I was like, man, I got lucky

[2:00] with this one.

[2:01] I got a really good character.

[2:02] This character who gets to say the worst things all the time and is somehow still lovable

[2:06] even though doing terrible things all the time.

[2:08] Yes.

[2:09] Definitely.

[2:10] Yeah.

[2:11] Total breakout character.

[2:12] Very lovable and just wild as well.

[2:16] But also, Amber, you mentioned that you were doing a show in Atlanta, you said.

[2:22] Is that correct?

[2:23] A Hallmark Christmas romance-based improv show?

[2:28] Yes.

[2:29] So I work at a theater called Dad's Garage that I've been at since like 97.

[2:33] So I've been there a long time.

[2:36] And it's an improv theater, but we also do scripted work.

[2:39] And through my Atlanta connections and being a theater person in Atlanta, I met a wonderful

[2:43] playwright named Topher Payne, who eventually went on to write Hallmark movies for a living.

[2:51] So he's written, I think, eight Hallmark movies, right?

[2:55] And so one year, I think it was like 2016, 2017, I was like, I should be doing a Hallmark

[3:01] improv show, a Hallmark Christmas movie improv show with Topher, who is a real writer of

[3:06] Hallmark movies.

[3:07] He's not a traditional improviser, but he's so good at it.

[3:10] So he's our narrator, and he writes the screenplay as my husband and I are the main players.

[3:17] We have other people that switch in and out with us.

[3:20] But we play all the characters in the Hallmark universe as he writes the story.

[3:25] And it's nuts.

[3:27] It's really fun.

[3:28] People love it.

[3:29] People came last year from like Denver to see it.

[3:32] It's like a Christmas tradition for people now.

[3:34] It's really wonderful.

[3:35] It's called Yallmark.

[3:36] So going from Denver to Atlanta is like negative, like opposite Christmas.

[3:42] I know, right?

[3:43] Totally.

[3:44] Well, I thought because of this, I was going to put all of you through a little game based

[3:50] on Hallmark.

[3:51] Games Master McCoy is out again.

[3:54] Dan and Roy Dungeon Master, yeah.

[3:57] It may be unfair because you're close with...

[4:00] It may be unfair.

[4:01] I'm going to ask you to name things I'm thinking of that you don't know what they are.

[4:05] What have I got in my pocket?

[4:06] Oh, let's see.

[4:07] Gumballs?

[4:08] Yeah.

[4:09] No, I...

[4:10] Let's name what we think Dan has in his pockets for a moment.

[4:11] Gumballs, probably a slingshot sticking out of the back pocket.

[4:12] Some old keys that don't go to anything anymore because nobody has keys.

[4:13] Yeah, yeah.

[4:14] His favorite Bazooka Joe comics.

[4:15] Yeah.

[4:16] And like an old Popsicle stick.

[4:17] Dan, I don't know you.

[4:18] I'm just guessing.

[4:19] Jacks.

[4:20] So accurate.

[4:21] It's just a bunch of jacks.

[4:22] Jacks are a thing, right?

[4:23] Yeah.

[4:24] Some crackers.

[4:25] Yeah.

[4:26] Yeah.

[4:27] Yeah.

[4:28] Yeah.

[4:29] Yeah.

[4:30] Yeah.

[4:31] Yeah.

[4:32] Yeah.

[4:33] Yeah.

[4:34] So, crackers, jacks.

[4:35] Are you from the 1940s?

[4:36] So, I'm a mid-century child?

[4:37] Yeah, I don't understand.

[4:38] Pemicon?

[4:39] Pemicon?

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:41] He's got Pemican on him.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:43] Because he's a 19th century child now.

[4:44] Yeah.

[4:45] Sorry.

[4:46] I was stumbling a little bit because I realized...

[4:47] Oh, there's a copy I need to...

[4:48] Well, yeah, that's probably most of it.

[4:49] No, I was going to say Amber may have an unfair advantage knowing an actual writer of these

[5:03] actual movies.

[5:04] Perhaps she knows some of these ahead of time, who knows?

[5:07] But I'm going to share my screen where I've put together a slideshow.

[5:11] Wow.

[5:12] Make sure to close all the fucked up shit you have on there, all the fucked up windows

[5:15] he has.

[5:16] Yeah.

[5:17] All this crazy stuff.

[5:18] I was going to say...

[5:19] Sharing is not turned on.

[5:20] I want to mention, we recently did some live shows in Chicago and I'm going to allow you

[5:25] to share.

[5:26] Yes, please.

[5:27] So, we at least did a live show in Chicago and Stuart has a bit that involves at one

[5:30] point showing what's supposed to be a screen from his computer and there's tabs that are

[5:34] open with like porn things in the background and I think nobody ever catches that joke

[5:39] and every time I see it, I'm like, that's hilarious.

[5:41] I think it's most funny that I don't think anyone realizes that it's a joke or sees it.

[5:45] Yeah.

[5:46] But the attention to detail, Stuart.

[5:47] Or they just feel ashamed.

[5:48] Yeah.

[5:49] Yeah.

[5:50] People are like, does that tab say, what is hentai?

[5:56] Should I go up and tell him after the show?

[5:58] That'd be cool.

[5:59] So, I'm going to share a slideshow of posters for six Hallmark movies that have been featured,

[6:08] especially this season.

[6:12] And I...

[6:13] Featured in what way?

[6:14] Well, on the Hallmark site, they are in the featured section.

[6:18] So clearly, Hallmark is like...

[6:20] I don't know if the government was sending out brochures or pamphlets.

[6:23] These are the ones that you got to pay attention to.

[6:29] So off of these posters, which I will ask at least one of you to describe, I want you

[6:37] to guess what the plot of the movie is, and then I will explain the plot and see how close

[6:45] you got.

[6:46] And then once we know the truth of it, I will ask you, did that make you intrigued by this

[6:50] particular Hallmark offering?

[6:52] Okay.

[6:53] I hope that's clear.

[6:54] What a dangerous game we're playing.

[6:56] Oops.

[6:57] Ellie, could you describe what we have here for this first poster?

[7:03] Sure.

[7:04] So this one...

[7:05] You picked me because this combines things I love, Christmas and professional sports.

[7:10] And it says, Holiday Touchdown, a Bill's love story.

[7:14] And something up top says, it's an all new Countdown to Christmas original movie.

[7:17] So it's multiple branded.

[7:20] Both the Hallmark branding and also the Buffalo Bills.

[7:22] And you see two people, it's a man and a woman.

[7:25] The woman has kind of a puckish look on her face as she looks at the camera.

[7:29] And she's got her hand on the leg of the man who's looking at her.

[7:31] He has eyes only for her.

[7:32] He doesn't even know he's in a picture.

[7:34] He just looks at her.

[7:35] And they're sitting on the uprights, or whatever it's called, the goal thingy.

[7:41] Oh, I didn't even notice that.

[7:43] They must be very high.

[7:44] They're sitting up on the top of the extra point field kick thing in a football field.

[7:49] My brother is yelling at the thing right now, but I don't know the name of this.

[7:53] And it's clearly Buffalo Bills branded.

[7:55] So they are at the Bill's stadium.

[7:57] It's snowing out.

[7:58] It's cold.

[7:59] They have risked their lives in the cold to climb to the top of this thing.

[8:03] And there's Christmas lights strewn on it.

[8:05] So my guess is that this is a couple who fell in love at the Buffalo Bills stadium.

[8:11] And they're now celebrating their Christmas there on top of it.

[8:13] So that's what it is, Holiday Touchdown, a Bill's love story.

[8:17] These are either professionals, one's a Bills player and one's a cheerleader maybe, or they're

[8:21] huge Bills fans.

[8:23] And they have snuck into this stadium because there's no one in the stands.

[8:25] And the title features three different fonts, which I love.

[8:28] It's true.

[8:29] Holiday, Touchdown, and a Bill's love story, all in different fonts.

[8:33] But they're in an abandoned stadium, snow on the field.

[8:35] Nobody has cleared it away so that they can climb up somehow to the top of this field

[8:40] goal post and sit there just loving each other and with Christmas lights around them, you

[8:45] know?

[8:46] Do you want to take a stab, Amber or Stu, at the plot of this thing?

[8:52] Ellie's sort of postulated a few things.

[8:54] I want to say, I just want to point out that somehow she's wearing some very nice satin

[9:00] pants that are also like Bills themed, which is like, where would you get these as a fan?

[9:06] She must have made them at home.

[9:08] Those must be so cold to sit on a cold metal field post when it's snowing out in satin

[9:13] pants.

[9:14] Maybe they're fleece lined.

[9:16] Yeah.

[9:17] Okay.

[9:18] So I'm going to guess that the plot of this is that her dad, before he passed away, because

[9:26] there's always one dead parent for every character, a main character in a Hallmark movie.

[9:31] Her dad, before he passed away, owned the team.

[9:36] And she always comes to this Christmas game that happens.

[9:43] And she met this young new coach on the coaching staff that's causing a bunch of ripples throughout

[9:51] the organization because he's got crazy ideas.

[9:54] But she realizes those ideas are a lot like her former dad's ideas.

[10:00] and they fell in love because of it.

[10:03] And now it's Christmas and football.

[10:06] When you say crazy ideas,

[10:07] I imagine like the coach is like,

[10:09] why don't we use a basketball instead of a football?

[10:11] Exactly.

[10:13] And why don't we play on our knees?

[10:14] Let's all run around on our knees like Dorf.

[10:16] Why don't we do that?

[10:17] I have to assume that on their first date,

[10:20] maybe it wasn't intentionally a date.

[10:22] Maybe it was just a random dinner that they went to.

[10:24] They go to local regional restaurant,

[10:28] Buffalo Wild Wings.

[10:30] Okay.

[10:31] They get some of their chicken wings

[10:33] dipped in wild sauces.

[10:36] Yeah, it sounds pretty good.

[10:38] You know, I feel like Amber

[10:40] like came close to some of the elements here.

[10:44] So this is the longest synopsis.

[10:47] Don't worry, they won't all be this long.

[10:49] I did cut it down,

[10:50] but I think that because this is the earliest airing

[10:54] of the things,

[10:55] there's a more complete plot synopsis available.

[10:57] So here we go.

[10:59] The Quinns and DeLucas have been neighbors for decades

[11:01] in the shadow of Highmark Stadium.

[11:03] As members of the Buffalo Bills mafia,

[11:05] the two families share cherished traditions

[11:07] around cheering their favorite team.

[11:09] What team would that be?

[11:11] I think it's the Bills.

[11:12] Pediatric doctor Morgan Quinn

[11:15] and the Bills VP of stadium development, Gabe DeLuca

[11:19] are close friends,

[11:20] but Gabe has always carried a torch for her.

[11:23] Morgan learns from uncle Tommy, Joe Pantoliano.

[11:29] Who I'll remind everyone,

[11:30] I once stayed in his Airbnb during a vacation

[11:33] in Long Island, yeah.

[11:35] Now does this uncle Tommy have a cabin?

[11:40] Yeah, he inadvertently inspired the war.

[11:45] That someone anonymously helped her family get by

[11:49] when he was drafted 60 years ago.

[11:52] And she decides to find his benefactor

[11:54] and give her uncle a Christmas he'll always remember.

[11:57] As Morgan and Gabe work together

[11:59] to unwrap the gifter's identity,

[12:01] Gabe's love deepens and she sees him in a new light.

[12:04] Oh, in what new light?

[12:06] Like he's really a murderer?

[12:07] Yeah, she begins to suspect he's a murderer

[12:11] and gets very nervous.

[12:12] Oh, I see.

[12:14] So does that, now that you know the truth of this,

[12:18] does that plot synopsis make you wanna see it

[12:20] more or less than the poster alone?

[12:24] I think the poster made me more excited

[12:26] because I was like, how did they get up there?

[12:28] And how are they gonna get down?

[12:30] Yeah, how are they gonna get down?

[12:31] I found the synopsis more confusing

[12:33] than I thought it would be.

[12:35] It is quite confusing.

[12:36] And you know, speaking of how do they get down,

[12:38] one of the other things that we use all the time

[12:39] in our show that Topher told us about

[12:41] is the two leads almost always,

[12:43] when they first meet each other in the film,

[12:45] run into each other accidentally.

[12:48] So maybe he falls off and then she falls on top of him

[12:52] and then they kiss as it says.

[12:53] Yeah, and they kiss for the first time, yeah.

[12:55] That's such a funny, that's such a chaste,

[12:58] hallmark way to bring physical contact

[13:01] into the idea of these characters.

[13:02] So true, that's all you'll see too.

[13:04] No, yeah, I have friends who own a Buffalo Bills,

[13:08] I guess, themed or aligned bar here in Brooklyn.

[13:13] And I feel like I would try and get them to show this

[13:16] on maybe a special,

[13:17] on like a non-game day night.

[13:19] Well, they should show it either

[13:20] on Christmas or Valentine's Day.

[13:21] Yeah, both.

[13:23] Or both.

[13:24] Why not every day?

[13:25] Why not?

[13:27] Keep Christmas with you all through the year.

[13:29] Ellie, you mentioned that this is, you know,

[13:31] a more convoluted plot than you expected.

[13:34] I do think that, you know, there've been so many

[13:37] of these movies and not just hallmark movies these days,

[13:40] like every streamer wants to get into this zone,

[13:43] and it seems like that they have to milk the cow

[13:48] to the last drop.

[13:49] They have to find every possible thing

[13:52] that could be a Christmas romance.

[13:54] Any permutation of Christmas romance.

[13:56] I mean, when you've got to the Buffalo Bills level

[13:58] of Christmas romance and you're using it up,

[14:00] there's not much left, I feel like.

[14:03] Are you guys aware of the hallmark Christmas movie,

[14:05] Bingo Game?

[14:08] No.

[14:08] No, no.

[14:09] There's tons of them online.

[14:10] If you just Google hallmark Christmas bingo,

[14:14] homemade, people have made many versions of this

[14:16] where it's like you get a bingo card

[14:17] and whenever something happens

[14:19] that happens in every hallmark movie,

[14:20] you can mark off that space.

[14:22] Like they have cocoa at an outdoor market

[14:25] or they go ice skating or they cut down a Christmas tree.

[14:29] So there's always, it's great.

[14:31] And then it can also be a drinking game.

[14:33] So I highly recommend it

[14:34] if you ever are going to watch a hallmark movie.

[14:36] Yeah.

[14:36] It was a sad time to remember,

[14:38] but one of my favorite tropes of some of these,

[14:40] like during COVID, how obvious it was

[14:43] that there were just like two people in so many scenes.

[14:47] It's like, oh, a non-bustling small town at Christmas.

[14:51] Yeah.

[14:52] Okay, here's the next one.

[14:54] Stuart, do you want to take a crack

[14:56] at describing this poster?

[14:58] Yeah, it's two people who very much don't look like

[15:01] they're in the same room.

[15:02] It feels very much like they were photoshopped together.

[15:06] You have a guy who's like got one of those like

[15:08] kind of beards that's not really a full beard,

[15:11] but it's like five o'clock shadow.

[15:13] And it's double, we thought.

[15:14] Yeah, it's double.

[15:15] But like, and he's got like a little bit of a smirk,

[15:16] like he knows something you don't know.

[15:18] And his eyes, I think he's going for kind,

[15:21] but they're not quite there.

[15:23] And he's got like a little checkered shirt

[15:25] underneath a sweater.

[15:27] A green sweater.

[15:28] This is gonna sound derogatory.

[15:29] He's giving me big, most handsome of the Nazis

[15:32] that are coming to burn down your village vibes.

[15:34] Yeah, he's got a little bit,

[15:35] there's a little bit of gray in there.

[15:36] So you know, he's seen some stuff.

[15:39] And he is standing kind of in the background

[15:43] and in the foreground, looking over her shoulder

[15:45] is a blonde woman with very contoured cheekbones.

[15:49] And she also has a look like,

[15:53] like we saw you across the bar and we like your style.

[15:57] Her eyebrows are raised a little bit.

[15:59] Middle part, hair wrapped kind of around her neck

[16:03] because she is like looking over her shoulder,

[16:04] but it does almost look like it's choking her

[16:06] and framing her face.

[16:08] And she's wearing a red, she's wearing a red sweater.

[16:10] He's wearing a green sweater.

[16:11] So you know, it's Christmas time.

[16:13] And then also in the foreground are some Christmas ball

[16:18] like ornaments, yeah, ornaments.

[16:20] Yeah, spheres.

[16:21] Christmas balls.

[16:22] They're called spheres.

[16:22] Yeah, yeah.

[16:23] Because you think they're like

[16:24] phantasm Christmas ornaments.

[16:25] Yes, and in the background, there's Christmas lights.

[16:28] And then the title reads,

[16:31] melt my heart this Christmas.

[16:33] And I want to mention,

[16:34] it also is very clear that the Christmas tree

[16:36] in the background, which is blurred

[16:37] and the Christmas ornaments in the foreground,

[16:39] which are also blurred are not real.

[16:41] They're clearly graphic elements.

[16:43] Okay.

[16:44] I feel like they're all graphic elements here, Elliot.

[16:46] Yeah, even the people, yeah.

[16:47] And melt my heart this Christmas,

[16:50] there's a little bit of a flourish

[16:51] between the S and T of a little heart in the middle,

[16:54] which I think is.

[16:54] I gave you the simplest poster to explain.

[16:57] You really made a meal out of it.

[16:58] I mean, I could see it, even though I'm looking at it,

[17:01] I could see it in my mind.

[17:02] I just like to add that I think his beard's more

[17:04] like a George Michael style.

[17:06] Like it's been shaded in probably by a makeup artist.

[17:12] Yeah, so would you like to take a crack

[17:15] at guessing what melts my heart this Christmas?

[17:18] I mean, I know that this is a very undescriptive poster,

[17:21] but knowing the plot, there are elements.

[17:24] It would be so funny if it turned out

[17:26] these were not the two leads who fall in love.

[17:28] There's nothing in the picture that helps you.

[17:30] This is like an old timey horror fantasy,

[17:32] like painted Boris Valasio poster.

[17:36] Okay.

[17:37] I think I have an idea.

[17:39] Okay.

[17:40] Okay.

[17:41] I think she, to me, looks a bit sinister.

[17:45] It might be those cheekbones and the eyebrows,

[17:47] the very dark eyebrows to her blonde hair.

[17:50] And very severely groomed.

[17:51] There's very sharp outlines on those eyebrows.

[17:54] Yeah, so I think that she's a chocolatier

[18:00] that has inherited her family business, but is reluctant.

[18:07] She doesn't want to have to do it,

[18:08] but she's doing it anyway, because it's Christmas time,

[18:10] and there's a bunch of orders,

[18:11] and she can't ruin Christmas

[18:12] by people not getting their chocolate orders.

[18:15] And he is like a small town chocolate store owner,

[18:21] and her family company is doing their best

[18:25] to squash his tiny family company.

[18:29] And even though she's bad,

[18:31] he can't help but somehow falling in love with her.

[18:35] And then his love, like the chocolate, melts her heart.

[18:39] And in the end, they end up together.

[18:43] That's pretty good, yeah.

[18:45] I'm definitely getting executive

[18:48] who needs to learn how to love and have joy vibes

[18:51] from her, yeah.

[18:54] Okay, so Stu, you wanna toss in any thoughts before I?

[18:58] Yeah, I mean, I don't like, yeah, it's, I don't know.

[19:01] I'm not getting super small town from him,

[19:03] but it's really tough,

[19:04] because it's like so, everything is so crisp

[19:08] and like clean and like glossy.

[19:12] Yeah, yeah, this one's a tough one.

[19:15] As I said, there are a couple of elements in here

[19:18] that do point in the direction of what this is about.

[19:21] So here we go.

[19:22] Melt my heart this Christmas.

[19:24] A spirited glassblower lands a last minute gig

[19:28] assisting her artistic idol at a famed Christmas market.

[19:31] But as sparks fly with the uptight event manager

[19:34] standing between her and her dreams,

[19:36] she discovers that sometimes love

[19:38] is the most unexpected masterpiece of all.

[19:41] And the woman with the contoured.

[19:44] Oh, that's why it's melt, oh, okay.

[19:47] I would like to point out that this is Laura Vandervoort,

[19:51] Smallville's Supergirl.

[19:53] Oh, okay.

[19:54] Yeah, melt my heart this Christmas

[19:56] is better than put my heart in a glory hole this Christmas.

[20:00] I mean, one's more descriptive, but one's getting Dan to watch.

[20:07] I'm not telling you which one it is.

[20:09] So wait, which one's the glass blower?

[20:11] The lady?

[20:12] The lady, I believe, is the glass blower.

[20:14] Okay.

[20:15] And he's the event manager?

[20:17] Yes.

[20:18] Yes.

[20:19] So he's the crusty event manager.

[20:20] The looks they have promises that they might be blowing more than glass this Christmas.

[20:25] You think there's like a steamy hot, like where she's sweating and she's got the glass

[20:30] thing and she's blowing it.

[20:32] Yeah.

[20:33] Yeah, probably.

[20:34] That's the one thing I know about Hallmark movies, is how steamy they get.

[20:39] So what do you say?

[20:40] Does this plot intrigue you?

[20:43] Does it intrigue you at least more than the poster, which is just two faces?

[20:47] It would be hard to be intrigued less by the poster, yeah.

[20:51] Yeah.

[20:52] I watched this while I was wrapping gifts, but only then, not with my full attention.

[20:57] How much footage of glass blowing is there in it, Dan?

[20:59] That's actually a really good question.

[21:00] I'd love to see-

[21:01] 45 minutes straight.

[21:02] I'd love to see glass blowers at work, perfecting their craft, you know?

[21:07] Yeah.

[21:08] Okay, well, let's move on to this next.

[21:10] Now, I don't want to put you to work, Amber, but if you want to describe this, you can

[21:17] take the plunge.

[21:18] I don't see how you wouldn't want to.

[21:19] I'm going to set the bar high for descriptive words, but okay, so there's a man and a woman,

[21:26] and they are in doctor coats.

[21:30] She is wearing a stethoscope.

[21:32] It's in her ears, but he's holding it to his heart, very cute.

[21:36] He's smiling at her, she's looking at the camera.

[21:39] They are both sitting on a gurney, it appears, so they must be doctors.

[21:47] Behind them, in this hospital room, is a full six-foot-tall Christmas tree that is decorated,

[21:57] so I'm guessing they probably work at a children's hospital because that kind of shit wouldn't

[22:00] fly at an adult hospital.

[22:05] They look very professional.

[22:07] They look very happy.

[22:08] They don't look as stressed and tired as most doctors that work in hospitals look, and it

[22:14] is called the More the Merrier, and on top of the eye, I'm just now realizing, is a pacifier,

[22:21] so that they must be OBGYNs.

[22:25] Ravers?

[22:26] What did you say?

[22:28] They're ravers?

[22:29] Yeah, they're ravers.

[22:30] The pacifier looks a lot like the Prince symbol, when Prince was formerly known as Prince.

[22:36] Or it could be a butler.

[22:37] That's a sharp eye.

[22:39] She definitely looks like she's listening to a podcast.

[22:42] Oh, or maybe he's pregnant, and that's why he's got the stethoscope against his chest.

[22:49] Could be a junior situation.

[22:50] Yeah, he has a heart baby.

[22:52] Oh, okay.

[22:53] Yeah, so there must be something.

[22:54] That's what we call xenomorphs in my house.

[22:57] There must be some kind of pregnancy going on here, I'm guessing.

[23:00] Maybe she's pregnant with, you know, sextuplets.

[23:04] Uh-huh.

[23:05] That is more.

[23:07] This is my guess.

[23:08] Can I guess what this plot of this movie is about?

[23:10] They are two doctors.

[23:12] They are OBGYNs.

[23:13] They are married doctors, but they've kind of lost the thrill of life.

[23:16] They work together, and they're at home together all the time, and they've never had children

[23:19] of their own.

[23:20] And that's a point of friction and stress.

[23:23] But one day, a woman comes in who is in labor.

[23:26] The hospital is full.

[23:28] There's no room for this woman at the hospital, and she brought all these people with her.

[23:31] There's all these guys who are just hanging around with her, and also a camel, probably.

[23:35] And so they have to go out into the snow to deliver this baby.

[23:40] And the next day, the woman, the doctor, wakes up pregnant.

[23:43] She doesn't know how it happened, but her dreams have come true, and it rekindles their

[23:48] love for each other.

[23:49] Elliot, I don't work for Hallmark, but I want to give you a contract to start writing for

[23:53] Hallmark.

[23:54] Thank you.

[23:55] I mean, it seems more overtly religious than they usually go, but you spin a tale for sure.

[24:05] Sometimes you gotta remember the reason for the season, Dan.

[24:07] That's true.

[24:08] It's not just about presents.

[24:09] It's also about a group of older men sitting around a woman who is giving birth with animals

[24:14] there.

[24:15] Possibly the worst way to give birth.

[24:16] I don't know.

[24:17] I want to give room.

[24:19] If anyone else has any guesses before I, you don't have to, you don't have to.

[24:24] Well, I mean, he's not even wearing scrubs, so I don't even know.

[24:27] No, he's wearing a half-sit sweater.

[24:30] Yeah, he looks like he works in finance.

[24:32] He's got an Apple Watch.

[24:33] Like, what's going on?

[24:34] Yeah, I mean, we, in some ways it goes without saying, but we need to make it clear that

[24:39] in all of these so far, I believe, well, maybe not the first one, the Bill's one, but in

[24:43] the last one, this one, there is a red-green, of course, scheme where the, one of them is

[24:49] in red, one of them is in green, so he has to have a half-zip green.

[24:52] Yeah, the Bill's one, they're not gonna be red-green because those aren't the Bill's

[24:55] colors.

[24:56] No, not at all.

[24:57] And this is a nod, of course, to Canada's great, famous, most legendary comedian, Red

[25:00] Green.

[25:01] Of course.

[25:02] Of course.

[25:03] Yeah.

[25:04] Well, let me tell you about the more the merrier.

[25:06] In this one, Alice, an emergency room doctor, volunteers to work Christmas Eve shifts at

[25:11] a rural hospital.

[25:13] During a snowy Christmas, she and Brian, a top-rated cardiologist, help deliver three

[25:18] baby booms, sparking a lasting bond.

[25:21] I don't know what it means, help deliver three baby booms.

[25:22] Three baby booms?

[25:23] Three DVD copies of Baby Boom?

[25:24] Yeah.

[25:25] Are people sticking DVD copies of Baby Boom in their vaginas, and they have to get them

[25:26] out of there, out of the uterus?

[25:27] Wow.

[25:28] What's going on?

[25:29] Yeah.

[25:30] Yeah, it's fucking hell-raising.

[25:31] It's either that, or they have to deliver three full generations.

[25:32] Exploding babies?

[25:33] Oh, they have to deliver millions of babies.

[25:34] That's what it is.

[25:35] Yeah.

[25:36] So, yeah, that was very confusing.

[25:37] Does it take place in 1946?

[25:38] Yeah.

[25:39] Probably.

[25:40] Let's take a little break for...

[25:41] Wait, but what's the Christmas...

[25:42] Oh, they're working on Christmas.

[25:43] Yeah, they're working on Christmas.

[25:44] But they fall in love, right?

[25:45] Oh, there's got to be love.

[25:46] There's always love.

[25:47] Doesn't even...

[25:48] Yeah, I was about to say it, apparently.

[25:49] Okay.

[25:50] I hope so.

[25:51] I hope so.

[25:52] I hope so.

[25:53] I hope so.

[25:54] I hope so.

[25:55] I hope so.

[25:56] I hope so.

[26:00] We'll take a little break for some words from our sponsors, and we'll be back in just a

[26:04] moment.

[26:05] Hello, this is Alden Ford.

[26:06] And Mujan Zulfikari.

[26:07] Two of the creators of Mission to Zix, your favorite improvised, obsessively sound-designed

[26:08] sci-fi sitcom here on the MaxFun Network.

[26:09] And the news is...

[26:10] We're back!

[26:11] With an all-new miniseries set in the Zix universe, The Young Old Durf Chronicles.

[26:12] Yeah.

[26:13] Will Durf find his own killer before it's too late?

[26:14] Ooh.

[26:15] To find out, join us next time on Mission to Zix.

[26:16] And we'll see you next time on Mission to Zix.

[26:17] Bye.

[26:18] Bye.

[26:19] Bye.

[26:20] Bye.

[26:21] Bye.

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[26:25] Bye.

[26:26] Bye.

[26:27] Bye.

[26:58] I'm your host, Teresa McElroy.

[27:00] And this is a promo for Schmanners.

[27:01] It's Extraordinary Etiquette.

[27:03] For ordinary occasions.

[27:04] Every week, we're going to tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette

[27:10] still applies in the modern day.

[27:11] All that stuff.

[27:12] We also love to do biographies and histories of, and, you know, general procedurals.

[27:18] How to do etiquette in today's society.

[27:22] So come check it out every Friday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you find your podcasts.

[27:27] We're Schmanners.

[27:28] Get it?

[27:29] Hey.

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[29:13] So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays.

[29:16] Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

[29:19] Terms and conditions apply.

[29:21] We are also sponsored this episode by HIMSS.

[29:24] Look, I'm going to be totally open and vulnerable here.

[29:27] I am a man of middle age suffering from hair loss.

[29:31] I've been suffering from hair loss for years.

[29:33] My hair is rapidly diminishing and my children love to point that out to me.

[29:37] They love to make it clear that I have less hair than before and it's very noticeable.

[29:41] And especially as a shorter gentleman, I cannot hide this fact by being taller than everybody

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[29:47] Everyone can look down on my head and every time I am at the register in CVS and I see

[29:53] the security camera view of the back of my head, it is a reminder that my hair is diminishing

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[30:00] So, I've been curious about hair replacement stuff,

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[31:00] Individual results may vary based on studies

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[31:14] I would also like to make a little plug

[31:16] for a book written by my good buddy, Elliot Kalin.

[31:21] That's right, Junk Farming on store shelves now.

[31:24] It teaches you all about how to write comedy,

[31:27] how to think about comedy, how to be comedy.

[31:30] Go to your local bookseller and ask for

[31:32] Junk Farming by Elliot, two T's, Kalin.

[31:35] Okay.

[31:36] Thank you.

[31:37] It's also the perfect time of year

[31:39] for you to consider a gift for that loved one,

[31:41] and the perfect gift right now, that's right,

[31:43] a season pass to Flop TV.

[31:46] That's our six month long, once a month,

[31:48] first Saturday of every month, virtual live show package.

[31:52] We have six of them, as I said, six months,

[31:55] one for each month, and we have two more left in this year,

[31:58] but if you get a season pass, that gives you access

[32:00] to the previously recorded ones as well.

[32:02] If you just want a single episode, that's wild.

[32:05] Get the season pass, why not?

[32:07] We have two shows coming up.

[32:08] The next one is January 3rd, I believe,

[32:12] and that is going to be Dr. Doolittle, right?

[32:16] Yep, that's a January episode, all right.

[32:19] That's gonna be, wow, that's, time just flies, right?

[32:22] But you know what?

[32:23] It flies us toward Flop TV, Dr. Doolittle.

[32:27] In our collision course with Dr. Doolittle.

[32:30] I mean, that doctor may be little,

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[32:37] and it's gonna be great, so check that out.

[32:40] Go to theflophouse.simpletext.com.

[32:44] Also, if you can't get enough Flophouse,

[32:47] coming up, we are going to be in San Francisco

[32:50] for Sketch Fest again.

[32:52] I can't wait.

[32:53] We're doing a show on Sunday, January 25th,

[32:56] at 4.30 p.m. at Cobb's.

[32:59] I believe it's just four.

[33:00] Four o'clock, so don't show up at 4.30.

[33:01] You're gonna miss all of our hilarious presentations.

[33:05] We're gonna be at Cobb's Comedy Club,

[33:07] which we have been the last two years,

[33:09] and I really love it.

[33:10] I think it's a great venue.

[33:12] I can't wait to get to do some more live shows.

[33:14] We just did some in Chicago, and it had been a while,

[33:17] and it was really great to get to hang out

[33:19] with my buddies and make jokes.

[33:22] So if you get a chance, come out to San Francisco

[33:24] and come see us.

[33:25] Am I missing anything, guys?

[33:28] I don't think so.

[33:29] Cobb TV, San Francisco Sketch Fest,

[33:31] more shows to come in the future.

[33:34] All right, the next poster here.

[33:39] Let's have Elliot take a crack at this one again.

[33:41] What do we got here?

[33:42] This one is the one that, to me,

[33:43] looks most like a cover you would find

[33:45] on a romance novel at a supermarket or drugstore.

[33:49] Is that Dean Cameron?

[33:52] What's with Dean Cameron?

[33:53] I think Dean Cameron's a lot.

[33:54] From Ski School.

[33:55] And Boulder and has bigger eyebrows.

[33:57] They went back in time and got young Dean Cameron

[33:59] and put him into this.

[34:00] So the top half, this is the way a lot of novels

[34:03] look nowadays, actually.

[34:04] The top half is two people facing the camera,

[34:07] a man and a woman.

[34:08] They both look kind of happy.

[34:09] The woman looks a little happier than the guy.

[34:11] The guy seems like he has a little bit of reticence

[34:13] in his eyes, like, okay, I guess we're doing this,

[34:15] but I'm not super happy about it.

[34:17] And of course, he has stubble.

[34:19] They're both good looking.

[34:20] And then it's the title, We Met in December,

[34:23] which has a lot of flourishes.

[34:24] And the I in in has a little star burst

[34:27] between those Christmas stars at the top of it.

[34:29] And there's like windy, like, you know,

[34:32] glowy pixie dust around the title.

[34:34] Below that is a man playing piano

[34:37] flanked by Christmas trees.

[34:39] The Christmas trees almost look like guards

[34:40] who have been sent to make sure he doesn't leave

[34:42] and continues to play piano.

[34:44] And lying on top of the piano is, I assume,

[34:46] this same woman, because she's wearing a red dress,

[34:48] and she has the same color hair.

[34:50] And she's sitting on the piano,

[34:51] and they're staring lovingly at each other.

[34:54] And it looks like they're in kind of a fancy

[34:55] Beauty and the Beast-style ballroom.

[34:57] Yeah, it's sort of a fabulous Baker Boys situation

[35:00] going on here.

[35:01] Yeah, yeah.

[35:01] Now, we do assume that these characters

[35:02] are looking at each other,

[35:04] or are they looking at something together?

[35:07] I think they're looking at each other,

[35:08] but they seem to be facing opposite directions,

[35:10] unless they're, like, watching each other's backs,

[35:12] because they're spies on a mission, you know?

[35:16] And clearly, the title implies

[35:17] that they met in December.

[35:19] Yeah.

[35:20] By, since that's the title.

[35:21] Oh, wow, good one, Columbo.

[35:23] So, you know, to quote a movie

[35:27] that involves a snowman, a December thing,

[35:32] it's giving you all the clues.

[35:33] Can you put together?

[35:35] And it really hasn't given you all the clues,

[35:37] but can you put together the plot?

[35:38] And also, they don't say that in the movie.

[35:38] It's just the poster.

[35:39] They don't actually say that in the movie.

[35:40] Yeah, Mr. Police.

[35:41] Yeah.

[35:42] What's this holiday romance about?

[35:45] Okay, so let's see.

[35:47] So, it takes place in January.

[35:51] Wow.

[35:52] And they have already experienced a month of love.

[35:57] We learn that they met in December,

[35:59] but now things are, they've fallen on harsh times,

[36:04] hard times.

[36:05] They're both on dry January,

[36:07] so they can be real fucking jerks.

[36:09] Oh, so they're realizing they didn't love each other sober.

[36:12] They loved each other.

[36:12] It was the booze.

[36:13] It was all the nog.

[36:14] Oh, wow.

[36:15] And then they go to a-

[36:17] It's the nog.

[36:18] February 1st, they go to a piano bar

[36:21] where they tip a little bit extra

[36:23] that lets her sit on top of the piano while he plays,

[36:27] and they get shit-faced, and they're like,

[36:28] you know what?

[36:29] I do love you again.

[36:31] So, that's what I think happens.

[36:32] Okay.

[36:34] And in order to stay together,

[36:35] they just have to be drunk for the rest of their lives.

[36:37] Yes, no matter how, you know,

[36:39] that obviously is a very, very plausible plot,

[36:42] but do we have any other thoughts?

[36:43] Yeah, I think Hallmark is actually doing a plot

[36:46] where these people have to be alcoholics

[36:49] to stay in love together.

[36:50] It seems like a Hallmark thing.

[36:51] And I mean, it makes sense,

[36:51] because they want viewers in January, too,

[36:53] so to have a movie that was set in January

[36:55] comes out after the holidays.

[36:57] Great, great marketing.

[36:58] There's not a lot of January movies out there.

[37:00] They've got the market to themselves, you know?

[37:02] Yeah.

[37:04] Wow, Jan, it sounds like I crushed it.

[37:05] Okay.

[37:05] Yeah, I mean, there's January Essex Park.

[37:07] There's that movie.

[37:08] Yeah, there's January, I mean, I'm starring January,

[37:11] but that's not really a part of January.

[37:15] It should be January Essex Park, you're right.

[37:17] That's right, I said it wrong, yeah.

[37:20] No, the true tale of We Met in December,

[37:22] and by true, I mean it's fictional.

[37:24] It's close, right?

[37:25] The actual synopsis is what you're saying.

[37:26] The actual scenario is Annie Lane and Dave Weeks.

[37:30] Okay, I didn't get their names right, calm down.

[37:34] Meet by chance in a hot, meet by chance.

[37:37] How many people meet?

[37:38] Many people meet that way, by chance.

[37:40] I don't know what that means.

[37:40] I wasn't expecting this.

[37:44] There's no puppet master pulling the strings.

[37:46] I can assume that they physically bump into each other.

[37:49] Yes, probably they puppet each other.

[37:52] Meet by chance in a holiday decorated hotel

[37:54] during a layover and have a magical night.

[37:57] They fail to exchange contact information

[37:59] and are separated, but the connection inspires them

[38:03] to embark on separate quests to find each other

[38:05] before Christmas using only the clues they shared.

[38:09] And you can see that this stars Autumn Reeser,

[38:11] who I remember fondly as Taylor Townsend from the OC.

[38:15] So many names I don't recognize.

[38:17] Yeah.

[38:18] So it's kind of like Dr. Zhivago.

[38:20] No.

[38:21] Exactly.

[38:24] Not at all.

[38:25] Are you intrigued by We Met in December?

[38:27] Does this speak to you in any way?

[38:28] This sounds fun to me.

[38:29] I like this idea.

[38:30] It's got some mystery elements, which I think are fun.

[38:34] Yeah, I like the idea of them having to parse through

[38:36] what they remember about the other person,

[38:38] like what they mentioned, to try to track them down.

[38:40] There's an element of stalking,

[38:41] which I always like in my romance.

[38:42] Yeah, that's one of your kinks, yeah.

[38:44] Yeah, yeah.

[38:45] And there's also probably an old kind of magical character

[38:48] that might be Santa Claus that helps them find each other.

[38:52] There's gotta be, there's gotta be.

[38:53] Oh my God, you're right.

[38:55] Yeah, some sort of-

[38:56] Maybe it's played by an elderly Irish actor

[38:57] or something like that, yeah, yeah.

[38:59] All right, well, I guess we're all gonna get together

[39:02] and watch We Met in December.

[39:03] There's a magical character

[39:04] and it's the most frightening witch you could ever imagine.

[39:07] And she's like, mm, your eyes or your soul,

[39:09] which shall it be to find your love?

[39:12] I guess I can't lose my soul, my eyes.

[39:14] And it's like, oh, you're so beautiful,

[39:16] but I can't see you because I gave my eyes to find you.

[39:18] Yeah, that's the gift of the magi thing,

[39:20] the person who had bought some glasses for them.

[39:23] Oh Henry and Dean Kuntz worked together on this one, yeah.

[39:26] I mean, buying glasses and then giving up eyes,

[39:29] that's not fair.

[39:30] No, and buying glasses is not a great gift.

[39:33] That's an equal.

[39:33] That's the thing about the gift of the magi,

[39:35] is they really knew a good gift for the other person.

[39:38] I didn't really know your prescriptions.

[39:41] You know, weirdly shaped face.

[39:43] These might fit you, maybe.

[39:48] So what, Dan, describe more of the night that they had.

[39:51] You know, steamy.

[39:53] Was it steamy?

[39:54] Okay, Hallmark steamy, yeah.

[39:55] Mm-hmm, okay, we got here.

[39:57] The hotel room was destroyed, yeah.

[39:59] This one.

[40:00] I think I'm going to give this one to Amber as a treat to describe, because this one...

[40:05] This is a treat indeed.

[40:07] It really speaks to my theatrical background.

[40:10] Okay, so there is a couple, a man and a woman.

[40:15] And I've noticed now that I've seen all these together, the man's always wearing green,

[40:18] the woman's always wearing red.

[40:19] It's never reversed.

[40:21] And he's got on a plaid shirt, which means he's probably a small town guy.

[40:28] He uses his hands in some way, probably.

[40:30] Yeah, exactly.

[40:31] That's why they're prominent in the poster.

[40:33] He's got his hand on her elbow and they're face to face, touching.

[40:39] Their whole bodies are touching like in an embrace.

[40:42] And they are obviously on the set of a Christmas production.

[40:46] There in the background is some fantastical snowy mountains with cute little warm homes

[40:54] lit up on them.

[40:55] It's dusk in this snowy little town.

[40:58] And then there's a big grand curtain that's on either side of the set, and they're standing

[41:04] in front of it on the boards of the stage.

[41:09] And there's some stars hanging from the ceiling there at the theater, and they're both smiling

[41:18] and looking at the camera and looking very festive.

[41:23] The snow must go on, is what it's called.

[41:26] The snow must go on, very good.

[41:29] And the font of snow is like dazzling kind of theater marquee lights.

[41:33] Very good.

[41:34] Yeah.

[41:35] So this one, the boards they're standing on is definitely a stage and not like a bowling

[41:40] alley, right?

[41:41] That's right.

[41:42] I think for context clues, I'll say a stage, yeah.

[41:46] No, you're right.

[41:47] You're right.

[41:48] I was just wishful thinking.

[41:49] Yeah, but they're probably not on the deck of a whaling ship, you know?

[41:53] Oh, but if only.

[41:54] So this one gives, I think, more clues than a lot of the ones we've dealt with as to what

[42:00] the possible plot might be.

[42:01] I wonder if you have any thoughts.

[42:04] Well, it's theatrical in some way.

[42:05] I think we can pull the curtain back that far, at least.

[42:09] It looks like his shirt's too small for him, because the sleeves are pulling up.

[42:14] I mean, that's a basic thing.

[42:16] He's just trying to show off his body by buying a shirt that's a little bit small.

[42:20] Maybe he's got really long arms.

[42:22] Or he has extremely long arms, and it's hard for him in their small town for him to buy.

[42:27] I'm going to guess, if I can jump in the plot.

[42:30] So like, I think you're right, Amber.

[42:31] He's wearing a plaid shirt and he's clearly got muscles.

[42:34] So this is a guy who works with his hands.

[42:35] Maybe he's a carpenter.

[42:36] Maybe he's an ice sculptor.

[42:38] Maybe he is like a, like maybe just works at a factory where they make heavy things,

[42:44] you know?

[42:45] He's got real dog dad energy.

[42:47] Oh, yeah.

[42:48] And I think he's going to get pulled into a community theater production of a kind of

[42:52] Christmas show.

[42:54] And she, I think, is probably either the director or the playwright or the star director, playwright,

[42:58] triple threat.

[42:59] But really, it's a quadruple threat, because she's going to threaten him with love.

[43:02] And I think they're going to, he doesn't want to be a part of this show.

[43:05] And she's like, no, I'm going to make you my Joseph of Arimathea or whatever in this

[43:10] production, you know, where you're going to be my Ebenezer Scrooge.

[43:12] And they fall in love through the rehearsals.

[43:14] And there's going to be some kind of problem that the show isn't going to go on, but then

[43:17] it does go on.

[43:19] I know what it is, Elliot.

[43:20] This is so perfect.

[43:21] So the problem is, is that the snow rig that gets triggered at the end of the show is broken.

[43:27] But he is an ice sculptor.

[43:29] So he comes in and Edward Scissorhands style, as he is sculpting a statue of her for opening

[43:36] night, the ice chips make it snow in the production at the end of opening night.

[43:43] And there's got to be a shot of her looking up at him doing that and the snow is falling

[43:47] on her face.

[43:48] I can't tell if it's that the snow is melting on her cheeks or there's tears because she's

[43:51] Robert Blake.

[43:52] Yeah.

[43:53] So good.

[43:54] I can't wait to see this movie if that's what it's about.

[43:57] Well, this was interesting because most of these movies, you know, tend to center the

[44:03] woman as the main character and this one needs to learn the lesson of love from a from a

[44:07] good man.

[44:08] That's I mean, that's just this is probably just Christmas story of Christmas.

[44:16] This one seems to be more centered on him, actually.

[44:19] The story is Isaiah Hayward returns to Broadway after a decade but faces challenges in finding

[44:26] a director.

[44:27] He saves a Christmas musical.

[44:28] I don't know how he saves it.

[44:29] They just say he saves it and discovers love, family and friendship as the greatest holiday

[44:34] gifts.

[44:35] He reunites with his family and friends.

[44:37] And I'm realizing that I did this all wrong.

[44:39] I should be talking about whether I would rather see your movie or the movie that's

[44:44] been described.

[44:45] Yeah.

[44:46] Yeah.

[44:47] Let's figure out how to do the show because I definitely would prefer to see the version

[44:51] that you pitched me that clearly mentions the woman in your description.

[44:56] I know.

[44:57] She's not even in there.

[44:59] He does not strike now.

[45:00] I can kind of see like a ghost.

[45:02] Maybe she's a ghost.

[45:03] Yeah.

[45:04] That'd be great.

[45:05] I think they misled us with the backdrop in this one is so not Broadway caliber.

[45:09] It's not bad.

[45:10] You know, but it's not the idea that this is a Broadway show is is I think he couldn't

[45:15] cut it on Broadway for some reason.

[45:16] So he got, you know, usually it's acting ability.

[45:19] So he's so he's out in the sticks.

[45:22] He's at like a regional theater.

[45:23] I believe that that makes sense.

[45:26] And he's like a Doc Hollywood.

[45:28] I'm supposed to be in the big city doing big city things.

[45:30] They're like, wow, a small town as it's charms, you know, oh, I'm realizing it's not fame

[45:35] that's important.

[45:36] It's it's love and Christmas magic.

[45:37] Yeah.

[45:38] Yeah.

[45:39] That's the lesson.

[45:40] Every Hallmark movie.

[45:42] And they do.

[45:43] They do the production of Our Town and he plays the young guy.

[45:46] And when he collapses, crying at the grave of his of his wife who died young, he's really

[45:51] crying because he realized he's discovered what's true.

[45:53] Yeah.

[45:54] I've never seen it.

[45:55] It's a great play.

[45:56] It's a traditional, traditional Christmas Our Town that they always all right.

[46:01] We know.

[46:02] OK, when they do the traditional Christmas production of Sweeney Todd and he's he's crying

[46:07] at the end, you know, because there's a lot of red and that is true.

[46:10] Not a lot of green.

[46:11] One last Hallmark movie, Stuart, can you describe this poster?

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:18] We have this really cool throuple in the foreground.

[46:21] Yeah.

[46:23] So we have yeah, we have three characters, a two women and a man.

[46:30] Looks like the man's eyes are closed and he's kind of in the background.

[46:32] Right.

[46:33] Did I describe that?

[46:34] No, that's right.

[46:35] I just like to note that the two women get the red and green here, which is a yes.

[46:37] Yeah.

[46:38] And the man is also in red.

[46:39] Yeah.

[46:40] I think he's looking at the middle woman, but his eyes are so like it's he's looking

[46:44] so close that it appears like his eyes are closed.

[46:46] I took the picture at the wrong moment.

[46:47] Yeah, that's what it looks like.

[46:49] So the two women are looking at the camera.

[46:51] He is either looking at the inside of his eyes or at the side of his eyes.

[46:55] He's like, hold on, I got to see what's going on in here.

[46:59] Oh, the woman in green is who's in the center is is blonde.

[47:04] She is smiling.

[47:06] She has red lipstick on that goes along, just pointing it out because she has more

[47:12] makeup on.

[47:13] It appears that she has more makeup on.

[47:15] And then the woman to her right left for the viewer is a brunette who is in red and she

[47:23] styled in a more natural.

[47:24] Yes.

[47:25] I'm getting I'm getting big.

[47:26] There's a Betty and a Veronica in this picture is what I'm picking up.

[47:28] Yeah.

[47:29] So the brunette one is the rich one is that was no for this one.

[47:33] Strangely, the blonde seems to be the Veronica.

[47:35] OK.

[47:36] And then far in the background, we see some kind of a Christmas village all lit up for

[47:41] Christmas with trees completely decked out.

[47:44] You are you are in some kind of time wonderland bathing and then big mountains in the back

[47:50] to.

[47:51] Yeah.

[47:52] With like the sun is just beginning to peek out over the mountains and rays of light as

[47:56] if somebody has drawn a magical blade and in the foreground, we have the title and there's

[48:03] also a digital snow effects everywhere.

[48:06] And in the foreground, we have the title and Alpine Holiday.

[48:09] And I guess they're sitting are they sitting on like a sled or maybe a letter or a ski

[48:14] lift?

[48:15] Maybe.

[48:17] Yeah.

[48:18] It looks like it's a bencher or maybe a sled of some kind.

[48:20] Yeah.

[48:21] Any any stabs at what the plot of an Alpine holiday?

[48:25] I mean, there's no way of telling what holiday it is, but no, there's no Martin Luther King

[48:30] Day, I guess.

[48:31] Yeah.

[48:32] It's a three day weekend.

[48:33] This is a tough one.

[48:35] But I feel like because there's three people represented that it's got to be some sort

[48:39] of love triangle.

[48:40] Yeah, I feel like it's either love triangle or the off chance is that it's a brother and

[48:48] sister who are both in love with the middle green girl.

[48:51] Oh, that's like like with the believers, with the dreamers.

[48:55] What's that?

[48:56] No, that is exactly a love triangle.

[48:58] Or maybe, like you said, maybe it is a happy throuple because they all seem very happy.

[49:03] So maybe they've been together for a while and they communicate well and they're doing

[49:07] it.

[49:08] They're doing it.

[49:09] They're just honest.

[49:10] They sure are doing it.

[49:11] They're just they're just taking a pleasant vacation to an Alpine location.

[49:15] Yeah.

[49:16] A throuple.

[49:17] We have their meeting where all three of them bump into each other at the exact same time.

[49:21] Three heads collide like coconuts.

[49:25] Or it could be a situation where he is like a ski instructor, a French ski instructor.

[49:33] And these two high school friends are on holiday together and they both like a love triangle.

[49:39] They both are interested in him.

[49:41] And he, by the end, has to choose them both.

[49:45] And then they become the throuple.

[49:46] I say it does look like they're posing for a photo and he doesn't know how to pose.

[49:53] Yes.

[49:54] It's very awkward.

[49:55] Like most guys I know are.

[49:58] I wonder if it's a.

[50:00] Just moving away from the Thrupple idea, just trying to think about what's normally in a

[50:03] Hallmark Christmas movie, which is rarely that holly positive.

[50:08] But what I wouldn't give for a Thrupple Hallmark movie.

[50:12] I'd love to watch that.

[50:13] I mean, there are lots of Thrupple, they're almost like movies that you could watch that

[50:16] are available.

[50:17] Yeah, I'm familiar.

[50:18] Very short films.

[50:19] None of them are Oscar nominated, but, you know, in that category, but.

[50:23] There's a different category of awards for them.

[50:25] So what if it's it's a these are two either friends or sisters who are on vacation together?

[50:31] Yeah.

[50:32] And there's this local ski instructor or or artisan of some kind, and they're both interested

[50:38] in him.

[50:39] And he's got to choose whether to go with the fancy sister or the down to earth sister.

[50:45] Alternately, that the woman on the all the way on the left is not a sister, but is like,

[50:50] I don't like a local forest sprite of some kind who's going to help them find love together.

[50:55] You know, and she just appears around like Miracle Beach.

[50:59] Yeah.

[51:00] Yeah.

[51:01] And so Alpine, we're guessing Swiss Alps right now or French Alps, which one's I mean, that's

[51:06] a great thing about the Italian Alps, Italian, Swiss, French, all your choices are good.

[51:10] Yeah.

[51:11] You know, Elliot, right here at the end, you came very close to, like, nailing it 100 percent.

[51:17] Here we go.

[51:18] Really?

[51:19] Two estranged sisters, Faith and Kelly, reunite for Christmas in the French Alps to fulfill

[51:24] their grandmother's last wish during their trip to have sex with the same guy during

[51:31] their trip.

[51:32] That was on my bucket list.

[51:34] You guys do it expensive.

[51:37] My sister and I were never able to pull it off, so I did this to you.

[51:41] And perhaps if you can, the curse will be lifted from our family.

[51:45] We couldn't get the pivot right.

[51:48] We we could engage and begin conversation, but pivoting to the bedroom.

[51:54] Oh, great.

[51:55] Sure.

[51:56] Yeah.

[51:57] During their journey.

[51:58] How many drinks have you had?

[51:59] Grandma drinks.

[52:00] That would have changed everything during their trip.

[52:05] They rediscover their sisterhood and Kelly finds romance with their guide Frederick.

[52:10] And I to close the loop on me recognizing actresses from other shows.

[52:17] The brunette, of course, is Ashley Williams, who I remember as Victoria on How I Met Your

[52:23] Mother.

[52:24] So there you go.

[52:25] Was she the mother?

[52:26] She, I believe, was the baker that Ted dated for a while.

[52:31] OK.

[52:32] OK.

[52:33] OK.

[52:34] So there you go.

[52:35] Because mothers can be bakers.

[52:36] Yeah.

[52:37] Yeah.

[52:38] Yeah.

[52:39] I don't know if that's for anyone starting.

[52:40] How I Met Your Mother this late day.

[52:41] Yeah.

[52:42] Yeah.

[52:43] You're right.

[52:44] You don't want to give it away.

[52:45] Yeah.

[52:46] That's a.

[52:47] What would be the point?

[52:48] What would be the point of watching the quest, the journey that took him there?

[52:49] Yeah.

[52:50] So they so the so the brunette, I'm assuming, is the one that doesn't doesn't find love at

[52:55] all.

[52:56] She's just what I think the brunette is, though, is the romantic lead.

[53:00] Oh, the brunette.

[53:01] So the blonde is the is just helping along.

[53:03] Yes.

[53:04] Seems like it's unfair to have a Hallmark movie where you're on the poster and you don't get

[53:07] love.

[53:08] Well, that's that's the holidays.

[53:09] You know, sometimes you get what you want.

[53:10] Yeah.

[53:11] Yeah.

[53:12] The holidays are the blade that cuts twice.

[53:13] You know, they say when you're going to celebrate a holiday, dig two graves.

[53:14] Yeah.

[53:15] Well, Amber, thank you for joining for this nonsense that I cooked up based on like a

[53:16] thing that you told me.

[53:17] This is a treat.

[53:18] I had so much fun talking about stupid Hallmark movies with you guys.

[53:19] Before we sign off, please.

[53:20] I'm sorry.

[53:21] I'm sorry.

[53:22] I'm sorry.

[53:23] I'm sorry.

[53:24] I'm sorry.

[53:25] I'm sorry.

[53:26] I'm sorry.

[53:27] I'm sorry.

[53:28] I'm sorry.

[53:29] I'm sorry.

[53:30] I'm sorry.

[53:31] I'm sorry.

[53:32] I'm sorry.

[53:33] I'm sorry.

[54:05] I started the tangent at the beginning, from the pilot all the way through.

[54:06] So we're about halfway through season one, which is season two of our show.

[54:10] Very confusing on a network.

[54:14] And if you live in Atlanta, I do live shows all the time.

[54:17] I'll be doing the Hallmark Christmas Show at Seven Stages.

[54:21] Or I'll be at Dad's doing Bobby on of our nose, famous sex party once a month.

[54:26] Lots of fun stuff to see.

[54:28] Oh, thank you for being here.

[54:31] Which shows in Atlanta so I could see those shows.

[54:33] Yeah, the Bobby on of our nose, famous sex party is a show that I host as a character

[54:37] named Bobby on of our dough.

[54:38] And she is an aging starlet that has a bunch of sexy young people entertain her.

[54:44] That sounds great.

[54:46] It's great.

[54:48] Do a show in Atlanta for so long.

[54:51] This should be our, our inspiration.

[54:53] Yeah.

[54:54] Um, thank you again for being here.

[54:57] Thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.

[55:00] Thank you to Maximum Fun, our network.

[55:03] You can go to maximumfun.org for a lot of other great shows.

[55:06] But for the Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

[55:09] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[55:10] I'm Ellie Kalin, and we've been joined by Amber Dash.

[55:14] Bye.

[55:15] Happy Hallmark, everyone.

[55:23] Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini - Holiday Hallmarking, with Amber Nash

Transcript

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