FH Mini 87 - Jim Possible?

[0:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[0:08] I'm Stuart Wellington. Sorry.

[0:10] Stuart's already on the beaches of Greece right now.

Stuart Wellington

[0:14] Guys, I zoned out because I remembered that Lars von Trier posted on Instagram today

[0:19] an offer for people to send in a submission to be his girlfriend,

[0:25] and he put his actual email address on the video.

[0:28] It's crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[0:30] That would be an off-putting thing to suddenly remember in the middle of a podcast taping.

[0:33] I'm Elliot Kalin, and I'm the other co-host,

[0:36] and I can't wait to tell you later in the show about Flop TV,

[0:38] our monthly live video show, but we'll get to that later in the show.

[0:41] Yeah.

[0:42] Or you could just go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com for tickets,

[0:45] but I'll tell you about it later.

Dan McCoy

[0:46] Good, right. Yeah.

[0:47] So what we usually do on the show in our so-called main episodes

[0:52] is to watch a bad movie and then talk about it,

[0:54] and then we do these minis, which are more freeform, do-what-you-like.

[0:58] Usually we trade around who is in charge.

[1:03] These are more the jazz episodes, you know.

[1:05] Yeah.

[1:06] So I'll be heading up this mini,

[1:09] and allow me to start with an introduction that provides a modicum of the illusion of a framework

[1:16] and reason behind what I'm about to do.

[1:19] Okay.

[1:19] Here we go.

[1:21] Jim Belushi.

[1:22] For much of his career, he's been a punching bag for critics.

[1:26] He was often criticized unfairly for not being his brother, John,

[1:30] and was often criticized more fairly for just not being that funny.

Elliott Kalan

[1:34] I think it was fair when they criticized him for not being his brother, John,

[1:37] when he would catfish women and show up having pretended to be his brother, John.

[1:41] That was, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:42] But, yeah, Jim Belushi has been the poster child for schlubby white guy, mediocrity.

[1:47] He's had a minor late career reassessment for some things.

[1:51] I think he's kind of a dependable character actor now.

[1:54] I liked him in Twin Peaks The Return, for example.

[1:56] I thought he was well used.

[1:59] I mean, he's great in Thief.

[2:01] But back when he was a leading man, his movies were mostly panned.

[2:07] Yes, Virginia, there was a time when Jim Belushi was a leading man,

[2:11] and in the spirit of our recent 90s flashback,

[2:14] I've picked four movies where Jim Belushi is either top or second build,

[2:19] and we're going to play a little salesmanship game called

[2:22] What's It Gonna Take For Me To Get You Into This Jim Belushi Movie Today?

[2:27] I love that it's a title that doesn't beat around the bush.

[2:29] It just explains the premise.

[2:31] Now, I'm going to tell you the title and premises of the movies,

[2:35] and if that's not enough to whet your appetites for some Belushi,

[2:40] I'm going to tell you a few more facts,

[2:43] and we're going to see whether over time I can convince you to be interested.

[2:48] One disclaimer, I've seen none of these movies.

[2:51] Oh, okay.

[2:52] Some I've heard of, and the others I barely remembered existing.

[2:56] So, let's start off.

[2:59] Guys.

[2:59] Mm-hmm.

[3:00] Yep.

[3:00] It's 1995.

Elliott Kalan

[3:02] What if we ruined the game?

[3:02] I was 15 years old.

[3:04] We just, every single time you say the title and we go,

[3:07] yeah, we're in, let's see it, and this episode is five minutes long.

Dan McCoy

[3:10] I mean, the game is, again, sort of a thin pretense for just general discussion.

[3:16] You got it.

[3:17] Okay, the year's 1995, you say?

[3:19] The year's 1995.

[3:21] Okay.

[3:21] You're perusing the video store and you are presented.

[3:25] I often perused there.

Stuart Wellington

[3:27] I wasn't old enough to drive myself, so maybe my mommy brought me.

[3:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[3:32] The DVD, or perhaps VHS, still cover, says, separate lives.

[3:38] The movie's called Separate Lives.

[3:40] And the IMDb synopsis describes it thusly.

Elliott Kalan

[3:44] So, wait.

[3:45] Hold on.

[3:46] You're bringing IMDb into this situation very anachronistically.

Stuart Wellington

[3:50] Oh, man.

[3:51] Did, like, Dean Stockwell show up on his little hand computer?

Elliott Kalan

[3:55] At least, Dan, let's just pretend that we're reading the back of the box.

[3:59] How about that?

[4:00] Okay, all right.

[4:00] You constructed a scenario and then you almost immediately removed it from it.

[4:03] That's true.

[4:04] Well, here's the thing.

[4:05] I used my imagination.

Dan McCoy

[4:06] I constructed the scenario basically just to introduce the title and then apparently I was locked into being in that time period.

Elliott Kalan

[4:14] I'm just like, what kind of eff or fake mind fuck is this where I don't know from one moment to the next what's true and what's not true?

[4:20] You're in the Matrix.

[4:21] Yeah.

[4:22] Suddenly, I've been, Dan, you've red-pilled me, but you only gave me half the pill and you're like the other half.

[4:26] I'll hide in some cheese for you later to make sure you eat it.

Dan McCoy

[4:30] That sounds good.

Elliott Kalan

[4:30] Very Stuart Little situation over here.

[4:33] What if in the Matrix, sorry, what if in the Matrix Keanu Reeves just hated taking pills?

[4:37] So Morpheus is like, pick which one?

[4:39] And he takes the red pill and then he kind of goes, what's over there?

[4:41] And Morpheus looks like he throws it over his shoulder.

[4:43] And the rest of the movie, Keanu Reeves is just pretending he understands what's going on and that he's seeing the stuff they're describing.

Dan McCoy

[4:52] Re-edit time.

[4:54] Fan re-edit.

[4:55] Look, yeah, you can pretend that these synopses come from wherever you like.

[5:02] I just want to make it clear, though, that in reality, they come from IMDb to explain why they are the quality of a user-submitted synopsis from IMDb.

Stuart Wellington

[5:13] Unlike the professional copy that you would read on the back of a VHS.

[5:17] Exactly.

[5:17] Instead, this is from an internet movie, Data Belush.

[5:20] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[5:21] Separate lives.

[5:22] A psychiatrist asks one of her psychology students, an ex-police detective, to shadow her for a few nights.

[5:30] She fears she is a split personality and may have killed someone.

[5:35] The student has a crush on his cute teacher and says yes.

[5:42] So, okay.

Stuart Wellington

[5:44] So, man, that sounds great already.

Dan McCoy

[5:46] It already sounds pretty good, right?

Elliott Kalan

[5:48] Sure.

[5:49] I mean, I have no sense of what the tone of the movie is, whether it's an erotic thriller or a wacky comedy.

Dan McCoy

[5:54] Okay, Ellie.

[5:54] Teacher's cute, though.

Elliott Kalan

[5:56] That's in the text.

[5:56] We know the teacher's cute and I love cute teachers.

[5:59] My wife is a cute teacher, so I'm all about cute teachers.

Dan McCoy

[6:02] I-L-Q-T.

[6:05] That's what your wristband says.

[6:07] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[6:08] Although, that was my name.

[6:11] My rap name was E-L-Q-T.

[6:13] Yeah.

[6:13] Ellie, it's love cute teachers.

Dan McCoy

[6:17] So, okay.

[6:17] Well, Elliot, are you more or less enticed to learn that the cute teachers played by Linda Hamilton of the Terminator films?

[6:26] And the next actors?

[6:27] And Beauty and the Beast.

[6:28] And the next actress?

[6:29] She was the beauty, Dan.

[6:30] Don't make jokes.

[6:31] She was the beauty.

[6:33] Yeah, Ron Perlman was the Beast.

[6:35] Yeah.

[6:35] Great casting.

Stuart Wellington

[6:38] Do you think anyone ever was like, hey, Ron, to me, you were the beauty?

[6:41] Yeah, probably.

[6:42] Yeah, probably.

[6:43] Guillermo del Toro did.

[6:44] That's how he got him into Hellboy.

[6:45] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[6:46] You know, he was a sexy beast.

[6:47] Just like, what's his face?

[6:49] Ben Grimsby?

[6:50] Yeah, Ben Grimsby.

[6:51] Ben Grimsby, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[6:52] The thing.

Elliott Kalan

[6:53] Now, was he the sexy beast in the title or was the other guy the sexy beast, the actual star of the movie?

[6:58] Ray Winstone?

[6:59] Ray Winstone, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[7:02] I don't know what they cover in the text of the film.

[7:05] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:06] Okay.

[7:06] Okay, so wait, hold on.

Stuart Wellington

[7:08] I mean, they're both sexy beasts in their own way.

Elliott Kalan

[7:10] And they're one sexier and one's beastier.

[7:11] Hey, hey, guys.

[7:12] I'll let you decide which is which.

[7:13] Yes, Dan?

[7:14] Oh, go on, Dan.

Dan McCoy

[7:14] Listeners out there, you're all sexy beasts in your own way.

[7:17] Yeah.

[7:17] Wow.

[7:18] Wow.

[7:19] Really makes a thing.

[7:19] A little supportive.

[7:21] You know, I'm trying.

[7:21] I'm trying to get into a Josh Gondelman pep talk area.

[7:24] Oh, cool, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[7:25] Yeah, Josh Gondelman routinely sexually harasses his listeners with not being so many airwaves.

Dan McCoy

[7:29] I harassed them.

[7:30] I just said, you know, I don't.

[7:32] Dan, even a comment.

[7:33] Dan's like, you're all sexy beasts.

Stuart Wellington

[7:35] Take your wieners out, et cetera, et cetera.

Dan McCoy

[7:37] Et cetera, et cetera.

[7:39] Extrapolate from there.

Elliott Kalan

[7:41] Okay, hold on.

[7:43] We're getting to it.

[7:44] I want to hear Stuart Wellington's late night abridged erotic call-in show.

[7:51] Hey, everybody.

[7:52] We fill in the blanks, guys.

[7:53] Her nipples strained against the, you know, come on.

Dan McCoy

[7:56] We get it.

[7:57] Yada, yada.

[7:58] Can we move it along?

Elliott Kalan

[7:58] She reached out to run her fingers over his yada, yada, yada.

[8:01] You know the drill.

[8:02] You know, come on.

[8:03] By the next morning.

[8:04] Anyway, in the morning.

[8:05] Don't be a creep.

[8:07] Ten years later.

Dan McCoy

[8:11] The brats had grown apart.

[8:13] Yeah.

[8:14] Okay.

[8:15] The next actors on top of Linda Hamilton.

[8:19] Metaphorically.

[8:19] In addition to Linda Hamilton, the next actors are Vera Miles from Psycho in her final role.

[8:30] Frank D'Angelo was not able to get her.

[8:32] I'm stumbling all over the place.

[8:33] And a presumably very young Elizabeth Moss.

[8:39] Unless a time machine was involved.

[8:40] It was an ancient Elizabeth Moss.

Stuart Wellington

[8:42] We've already opened up the possibility of time travel with this IMDB thing.

[8:46] That's true.

Dan McCoy

[8:47] Elliot, how do you feel about these facts?

[8:49] Is your appetite whetted?

Elliott Kalan

[8:51] I mean, to be honest, I'm very curious about seeing young Elizabeth Moss perform.

[8:55] And old Vera Miles.

[8:57] Alongside old Vera Miles.

[8:59] I mean, I remember Vera Miles well from her classic film roles.

[9:02] Yeah.

[9:02] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[9:03] Now, the synopsis wasn't 100% clear.

[9:05] Does Jim Belushi play the cute teacher?

Elliott Kalan

[9:08] Yeah.

[9:09] You know what?

[9:09] That's, I do want to know, which of these characters is the ex-cop who's now a student?

[9:14] Is it Vera Miles?

Stuart Wellington

[9:16] Or is it the fellow who looks like somebody who has a hot dog of the month club membership?

[9:21] Now that I've.

Elliott Kalan

[9:23] So, how do they deliver the hot dog?

[9:25] Does it come frozen?

[9:27] Yeah.

[9:27] Or is it fresh?

[9:28] Yeah.

[9:28] Well, you get like a hot dog of the month.

[9:30] Fresh hot dog.

[9:31] What have you been eating, Elliot?

[9:33] No, but like, I mean, like, is it cooked when it arrives?

[9:35] Or do you have to take care of it yourself?

[9:36] You know, does it have sauce on it?

[9:37] No, you take care of it yourself.

Stuart Wellington

[9:38] You get, no, you get a dozen dogs.

[9:40] You get all the fixings.

Dan McCoy

[9:41] Okay.

[9:42] Foss.

[9:43] So, what's the sauce you're putting on your hot dog?

[9:46] A Bernays?

[9:47] What is the sauce?

Stuart Wellington

[9:47] And weirdly enough, you get 14 buns, which doesn't make any sense.

[9:51] But it's in case, like, you fuck up one of the buns when you're toasting it.

[9:54] It's possible.

Elliott Kalan

[9:54] Or if you're eating, I will say this.

[9:55] If you're eating hot dogs with children, they will tear the bun apart by accident while

[9:58] they're trying to open it up.

[9:59] So, bun makers, why are you making those buns so hard to open up?

[10:02] Everyone will get.

[10:02] Kids are having trouble.

Dan McCoy

[10:04] Yeah.

[10:04] Why don't you just give them a big beef?

[10:05] That happens to me regularly.

[10:06] One out of two buns.

Elliott Kalan

[10:08] Guys, I'm running for Congress, and this is my platform.

[10:10] We've got to regulate bun makers.

[10:12] Those buns are too damn hard.

[10:13] You end up wasting them.

[10:14] That's money the American taxpayer is losing.

[10:18] These buns.

[10:19] I'm going to do, I have to do public events where I try to open up hot dog buns, and I

[10:23] just rip them to shreds.

Dan McCoy

[10:24] And I'm like, wait, this is going to end.

[10:25] And then the buns of steel lady's like, he's attacking me.

[10:29] He's saying the buns are too darn hard.

[10:31] And he's like, no, it's different buns I was talking about.

Stuart Wellington

[10:33] Not to parrot Dan's favorite politician, New York Mayor Eric Adams, but I think it's the

[10:38] fault of the parents in this case.

[10:40] They should be teaching kids how to use knives to open up those buns.

[10:44] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[10:44] Well, back to the game.

[10:46] And then the issue would be I would get caught on a hot mic referring to the slit top kind

[10:50] of Midwestern style buns as abominations.

[10:53] Yeah.

[10:53] And that would really, that would end my campaign.

[10:56] Yeah, yeah.

[10:57] We can all agree that's the case though, right?

[10:59] The slit should be on the side of the bun.

Dan McCoy

[11:03] If it's on the top of the bun, that's a lobster roll to use.

[11:05] Seems like it's kind of easier to use though, right?

[11:08] Like if it's on the top.

Elliott Kalan

[11:09] No, because it's never cut enough.

[11:11] You got to cram that dog in there.

[11:13] Speaking of cramming things inside of other things, Stuart, this is more of your erotic

[11:17] radio show, I assume.

Dan McCoy

[11:18] Yeah.

[11:19] Yeah.

[11:20] Okay.

[11:21] Now having set your interest aflame, I'm going to dampen it perhaps.

[11:26] Maybe you'll like this next thing.

[11:27] I do.

Elliott Kalan

[11:28] I will say the less you talk about Jim Belushi, the more interested I am in this Jim Belushi

[11:32] movie.

[11:32] Yeah.

[11:32] So tell me what happens.

[11:33] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[11:33] Does it make you more or less interested to learn that this is one of only two directorial

[11:38] credits for David Madden, who is the head of programming for AMC Networks, and that this

[11:44] film was written by Steven Pressfield, who wrote Free Jack.

[11:49] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[11:51] Stuart, how do you feel?

[11:52] Because I got to say this.

[11:53] I like it.

[11:54] I'm more enticed having heard that.

[11:55] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[11:56] Free Jack, I'm all about it.

[11:59] I wonder if Buster Poindexter ships up.

Elliott Kalan

[12:01] You have to assume so.

[12:02] You have to assume so.

[12:04] Well, here's a fact.

Dan McCoy

[12:05] The most notable person in Free Jack.

[12:07] Mm-hmm.

Stuart Wellington

[12:09] He's not even the most famous musician in Free Jack.

Dan McCoy

[12:14] Another one.

[12:15] How about learning that this movie, guys, is rated R for scenes of violence and sexuality

[12:22] and for strong language?

[12:25] Does that do anything for you?

[12:28] I know you like strong language.

Stuart Wellington

[12:30] Yeah.

[12:30] Well, that means that they let the baloosh loose, you know?

Elliott Kalan

[12:34] Yeah.

[12:34] He's not on his baloosh in this one.

[12:36] Baloosh out of the box.

[12:37] Yeah.

[12:38] Now, just, I want to, you know, if we're talking about 1995, when I would be, until December

[12:46] of that year, I was 13 years old, I would be asking the question where all of us would

[12:50] be asking, is it R-rated for nudity or for sexual situations?

[12:54] It's hard to say.

Dan McCoy

[12:55] Scenes of violence and sexuality, I feel like that means no nudity.

Elliott Kalan

[12:59] As it's been clear, as we've made clear in previous episodes, if you are ever an adolescent

[13:03] looking through the TV guide to find movies with nudity in them, you're not going to want

[13:08] to go to the movie where the listing says nudity, because that will be fleeting.

[13:11] You want to go to the movie where it says sexual situations, because that means much more nudity.

Dan McCoy

[13:15] Or strong sexual content.

[13:17] That's the caviar of ratings if you're a horny kid.

Elliott Kalan

[13:21] So if you're a 13-year-old in 1995, that's what you want to look at in the TV guide to find

[13:27] out if this, and again, as always, if you see Shannon Tweed in the list, just, you're

[13:32] going to have to stay up to watch it.

Stuart Wellington

[13:33] Yeah, just jam your finger on the record button.

[13:37] Okay, well, here's the final.

Dan McCoy

[13:40] Yeah, what's the final?

[13:41] So now I'm on the fence.

[13:42] This episode's pretty horny so far, so I'm going to.

Elliott Kalan

[13:44] I was interested in watching it.

[13:45] Now I'm on the fence, to be honest.

Dan McCoy

[13:47] Okay, well, last fact.

[13:49] How about hearing that the top review on IMDb raves that it's, quote, slightly above average?

Stuart Wellington

[13:58] Ooh, baby.

[13:59] And that top review's what?

[14:01] Six?

[14:01] Six out of ten?

[14:02] I don't know.

Dan McCoy

[14:03] I mean, it's just the one that was pushed to me.

[14:06] Yeah.

[14:07] Was that all they said?

[14:08] There was no other information?

[14:09] Yeah, that's it.

[14:09] Well, no, I mean, that's the title.

[14:11] All of these, I just pulled the title of the review.

Stuart Wellington

[14:14] It sounds good to me.

[14:16] I guess I'd be hoping for a serious erotic, like 90s erotic thriller, and I have a feeling

[14:23] based on the descriptors that I'm not quite going to get what I want.

[14:27] But I do want to see Linda Hamilton and Jim Belushi, see if they have that spark, you know?

Dan McCoy

[14:33] Okay, so that's a yay on separate lies.

[14:36] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[14:36] For Stu.

[14:37] Let's do, because I'm going to say, when you mentioned the cast, I was like, okay, but

[14:40] the more you told me after that, the less interested I was.

[14:42] You really sold past the clothes on this one, and I'm going to have to walk.

[14:46] Sorry.

[14:46] That's a nay.

[14:47] Yeah.

[14:48] Okay.

[14:48] Sharks.

[14:49] I'm going to have to quote Seabiscuit, America's favorite horse, and say nay.

Dan McCoy

[14:53] So our next film of, again, this is the second out of four, if you want to pace yourselves

[15:01] internally.

[15:03] So you're saying we should spend less time dicking around on this one?

[15:05] No, no, I am enjoying dicking around.

[15:07] I'm just giving you the chance to choose the amount of dicking around you're comfortable

[15:11] with.

[15:12] I love it.

[15:13] The next film is Once Upon a Crime from 1992.

[15:18] It's a good pun.

[15:19] Pun title.

[15:20] Yep.

[15:21] The confusingly worded synopsis.

Elliott Kalan

[15:23] Little Red Riding Hoodlum has to get to the mob boss grandma's house.

[15:28] But cop the wolf, Jim Belushi, is hot on her trail.

Stuart Wellington

[15:32] Okay, Dan, just take this episode and drag it over to the garbage and hit empty recycling.

Dan McCoy

[15:37] The confusingly worded IMDb synopsis, it goes like this.

[15:42] Phoebe and a fellow American in Rome find a dog with a $5,000 reward.

[15:47] They take a train to the owner in Monte Carlo.

[15:50] She turns up murdered.

[15:52] They run and become suspects just as three other Americans on the train.

[15:58] It's actually less confusing when I read it out loud.

Elliott Kalan

[16:00] But the other Americans on the train become suspects?

Dan McCoy

[16:03] Yeah, I think that's like, I think there's an implied, they run and become suspects just

[16:07] as three other Americans on the train do as well.

[16:10] That's the clause that is missing there.

Elliott Kalan

[16:12] I was worried the person writing the review was murdered.

[16:15] I had died.

[16:15] Partway through it.

[16:16] Just as three other Americans do what?

[16:19] What do they do?

[16:21] So, okay, that's synopsis.

[16:22] I'm not sold yet.

[16:24] You're not sold yet.

[16:24] I'm going to need more.

Dan McCoy

[16:26] Yeah.

[16:26] Are you enticed?

Elliott Kalan

[16:27] It's even hard for me to figure out who Belushi is in this.

[16:28] The dog?

Dan McCoy

[16:29] Yeah.

[16:30] It could be.

[16:31] Well, forget the murders on screen.

[16:33] Are you enticed to hear the murderer's row of talent in front of the camera?

[16:38] Aside from Jim, we also have John Candy, Sybil Shepard, Sean Young, Richard Lewis, Juan Carlo Giannini,

[16:47] and George Hamilton.

[16:50] That is enticing.

Stuart Wellington

[16:51] George Hamilton.

Elliott Kalan

[16:53] I think you had me at George Hamilton and Sean Young.

Dan McCoy

[16:58] That's an interesting conglomeration of people who would only be in a movie together at that

[17:03] particular moment in time.

[17:05] Yep, yep.

Elliott Kalan

[17:05] But you can say that in a lot of things.

[17:07] There's only one moment in time.

[17:08] We call it the grand conjunction.

[17:09] There's only one moment in time when Marissa Tomei and Kirk Douglas could be in a movie together.

[17:13] And that's when Oscar was made.

[17:15] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[17:16] Okay.

[17:17] Well, how do you feel learning that this is the only theatrical film directed by comedy

[17:22] legend Eugene Levy?

Elliott Kalan

[17:25] Oh, wow.

[17:26] Now, okay.

[17:27] Okay.

[17:29] Okay.

[17:30] Well.

[17:30] It's interesting.

[17:31] You're making it more and more interesting.

[17:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[17:33] What was the B.O. for this one?

[17:35] What was the box office?

Dan McCoy

[17:36] I think the B.O. failed to be boffo for this.

[17:39] Oh, that's too bad.

[17:40] But, I mean, particularly considering that this is the only thing directed by Eugene Levy,

[17:45] that may not have been his decision.

[17:47] Who knows?

Elliott Kalan

[17:47] Directors do tend to, once they've had a success, go on to direct other films.

[17:52] Yes.

[17:52] Unless occasionally they find it very unpleasant, the experience, or sometimes they die young,

[17:56] like Gene Vigo, who made Zero for Conduct and La Vente and then died young.

[18:03] But Eugene Levy, as we know, has not died young.

[18:07] He, thankfully, is still with us.

[18:08] Yeah.

[18:08] Still making us laugh.

[18:10] Second Renaissance.

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:11] And it's still continuing atop the Levy dynasty, which is two generations of funny people.

Dan McCoy

[18:18] Okay.

[18:19] Well, are you more or less intrigued to hear that the three credited screenwriters are all

[18:24] Italian and seem to have otherwise almost entirely done Italian language films?

Elliott Kalan

[18:29] A lot of great movies came out of Italy.

[18:31] You've said that like it was a bad thing, but there's only a classic cinema.

Dan McCoy

[18:37] Three people who didn't know the language that well are writing a comedy might bode ill.

Stuart Wellington

[18:42] It worked for Troll 2.

Dan McCoy

[18:47] All right.

[18:47] Well, what about the fact that it's a remake of the 1960 Italian film and suddenly it's murder,

[18:53] also known by its original title, Crimin, or perhaps Crimin.

[18:59] Crimin.

Elliott Kalan

[19:00] Crimin-y.

[19:01] Yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[19:02] Does that help or hurt?

[19:04] Or is it neutral?

Elliott Kalan

[19:06] I guess it's neutral.

[19:07] Again, I'm worried that you're selling past the close, so I'm just trying to, again,

[19:10] so I'm just going to focus on that cast.

[19:13] Who was it again?

[19:13] You had George Hamilton, Sean Young, John Candy, of course, the Balouche.

[19:17] Who else is in there?

[19:18] Sybil Shepard.

[19:19] Oh, yeah, Sybil Shepard.

[19:20] Sybil Shepard.

Dan McCoy

[19:21] Juan Carlo Giannini.

[19:23] Richard Lewis, to me, is the only dud here.

[19:24] I've never particularly understood his thing.

[19:28] Richard Lewis?

[19:29] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:30] Well, he had kind of like a hockey player mullet type thing.

[19:33] Maybe not really a hockey player.

[19:34] Yeah, yeah.

[19:34] He loved Zima.

[19:35] It was pretty big.

Elliott Kalan

[19:36] Oh, no, it was Boku.

[19:36] He loved Boku.

[19:37] Yeah, he did ads for that.

[19:39] Yeah, the guy with a hat loves Zima.

[19:41] Zima.

[19:41] Zima guy.

[19:42] Yeah.

[19:43] Okay, well.

[19:44] Whatever happened to the Zima guy?

[19:45] If you're listening, Zima guy, write in.

[19:47] Try not to use the letter Z in your letter.

[19:48] It's a little challenge for you.

Stuart Wellington

[19:50] Now he's known as Mr. Six, the Six Flags pitchman.

Elliott Kalan

[19:54] Oh, I didn't realize he got old and became the Zim Six Flags pitchman.

Dan McCoy

[19:57] He says there are no second acts in American lives.

Elliott Kalan

[20:00] I remember seeing an article that was an expose about the Six Flags old man was really a woman in old man makeup.

[20:06] And it was like, yeah, did you really think it was an old man who was busting those moves out?

[20:10] He would break every bone in his body.

[20:12] Come on.

Dan McCoy

[20:13] Yeah.

[20:13] All right.

[20:14] So the final enticement, perhaps.

[20:16] Again, the top IMDb review raves.

[20:20] Quote, I liked it.

[20:24] In that tone?

[20:25] Okay.

[20:26] Okay.

[20:26] I may be editorializing.

[20:28] Because they could have said, I liked it.

[20:30] It's possible.

[20:30] I liked it.

[20:32] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[20:33] You know, I'm actually, I think I'm going to pass on this one.

[20:37] A bad comedy.

[20:38] There's nothing worse.

[20:40] I think we've covered on the podcast that there's just, yeah, it just doesn't, I'm not looking forward to this one.

Elliott Kalan

[20:45] You know what?

[20:46] Call me a fool for punishment.

[20:48] I think I'm going to say yes to this one.

[20:50] Because I know it's going to be bad and I'm daring this movie to make me laugh.

[20:54] And if I get one laugh out of this movie, I'll consider it a success.

[20:57] So you know what?

[20:58] Let's see what we can do.

[21:00] Okay, Dan.

[21:01] Cue it up.

[21:01] Let's watch it.

[21:02] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[21:03] Well, while we do that, I'll just run this, what I'll say is a pre-taped ad segment for

[21:10] what the ads we have for this episode.

[21:14] First off, we've got a Jumbotron.

[21:18] Who's this message for?

[21:19] Why?

[21:19] It's for John and Jamie.

[21:22] And it's from Patrick, Connor, Mike, Claire, Lizzie, and Matt.

[21:29] Congratulations, John and Jamie on tying the knot.

[21:32] John, thank you for always being an ambitious, creative, and inspiring older brother.

[21:37] Jamie, welcome to the family.

[21:39] Your love for bad movies, espresso martinis, and board games make you a perfect fit for John.

[21:45] We wish you both a lifetime of happiness, bad movie marathons, and cuddles with noodle.

[21:51] So, again, that was for John and Jamie from Patrick, Connor, Mike, Claire, Lizzie, and Matt.

[21:57] If you would like also to have a Jumbotron read on the show, you can do that by going to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron.

[22:06] That was a really sweet message.

[22:08] Elliot, I think the only other business we actually have is to talk about Flop TV for a second.

Elliott Kalan

[22:14] That's right.

[22:14] That was a really lovely Jumbotron, but now it's time to get down to business.

[22:19] Boss-ness, that is.

[22:20] Hey!

[22:22] So, listeners, you've heard me talk about this before.

[22:25] We're doing a show series called Flop TV.

[22:28] That's our monthly live video show.

[22:30] It's like a TV show version of this podcast.

[22:32] It's like watching a one-hour televised Flophouse episode.

[22:36] Hopefully you watched our Beastmaster 2 first episode.

[22:39] That recording, if I'm getting my math right, may still be available just the day this episode comes out,

[22:45] but it may have been gone from the internet.

[22:47] If it isn't gone, it'll be gone by tomorrow.

[22:50] Don't worry.

[22:50] We've got another episode coming up.

[22:52] It's going to be super fun.

[22:53] Our next show on September 9th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific, Cool World.

[22:59] We're talking Cool World.

[23:00] A good movie.

[23:01] Hollywood, if you could.

[23:03] How weasley have you seen it?

[23:04] For this episode, Stuart's going to be doing a special PowerPoint presentation.

[23:08] I don't know what it's going to be about, but Stuart's PowerPoints, if you've never seen them in live shows, are amazing.

[23:13] Stuart is a great PowerPointer.

[23:15] He always manages to surprise and delight me.

[23:18] Dan will be doing the summary of this erotic Roger Rabbit, so you know things are going to get weird.

Dan McCoy

[23:24] Please keep me from going down weird pathways.

[23:28] Turn the lights low.

[23:29] Light some candles.

[23:30] Don't throw fire on the gasoline.

[23:31] If ever there was a one to watch.

[23:33] Throw fire on the gasoline.

Elliott Kalan

[23:34] Don't throw fire on the gasoline.

[23:35] Don't do that.

[23:36] No, don't put out fires with gasoline.

[23:38] David Bowie tried it, and it didn't work out well.

[23:40] If ever there was an episode to watch with a piece of tape over the camera on your monitor so no one can see what you're doing, this is the one.

[23:48] Adults only.

[23:49] Now, that's September 9th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[23:52] We're going to be broadcasting live over Zoom.

[23:55] If you can't make it on that date, do not despair.

[23:57] Your ticket gets you access to a recording of the show for the following two weeks, so until September 23rd.

[24:03] You can watch it at your leisure.

[24:05] Single tickets and also season passes to the whole run of shows are available at theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[24:12] Again, that's September 9th at 9 p.m. Eastern.

[24:14] We're doing Cool World as episode two of our six-episode season of Flop TV.

[24:20] Again, the first episode was super fun.

[24:22] People really liked it.

[24:23] I highly recommend you join us for this one.

[24:25] We're going to be taking a couple questions from the audience via the chat feature.

[24:29] You can chat alongside the show with other watchers.

[24:32] It's super fun.

[24:33] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com for tickets and more information about our future slate of shows.

[24:39] Flop TV.

[24:40] Flop it, won't you?

[24:42] Is that a good slogan?

[24:43] Yeah, sure, why not?

Stuart Wellington

[24:44] Maybe we'll try a different one next time.

[24:46] Okay.

S4

[24:50] I'm Yucky Jessica.

Stuart Wellington

[24:53] I'm Chet Crudsworth.

S4

[24:55] And this is Terrible.

[24:57] A podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful.

[25:01] Today we're discussing Wonderful.

Elliott Kalan

[25:03] A podcast on the Maximum Fun Network.

S4

[25:06] Host Rachel and Griffin McElroy.

[25:09] A real-life married couple.

[25:10] Yuck.

[25:11] Discuss a wide range of topics.

Stuart Wellington

[25:13] Music, video games, poetry, snacks.

S4

[25:16] But I hate all that stuff.

[25:18] I know you do, Yucky Jessica.

[25:21] It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts.

[25:26] For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo.

[25:31] I hate this little hippo.

S5

[25:33] Hey, when you listen to podcasts, it really just comes down to whether or not you like the sound of everyone's voices.

[25:40] My voice is one of the sounds you'll hear on the podcast Dr. Game Show.

[25:44] And this is the voice of co-host and fearless leader Joe Firestone.

S4

[25:48] This is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners, and we play them with callers over Zoom we've never spoken to in our lives.

[25:56] So that is basically the concept of this show.

[25:59] Pretty chill.

S5

[26:00] So take it or leave it, bucko.

[26:02] And here's what some of the listeners have to say.

S6

[26:05] It's funny, wholesome, and it never fails to make me smile.

Stuart Wellington

[26:08] I just started listening, and I'm already binging it.

Dan McCoy

[26:11] I haven't laughed this hard in ages.

[26:13] I wish I'd discovered it sooner.

S5

[26:15] You can find Dr. Game Show on MaximumFun.org.

[26:18] Let's move on to the second half of the show.

Elliott Kalan

[26:22] Oh, I can't wait to find out what more Belushi classics Dan has uncovered.

Dan McCoy

[26:28] Well, this is the one movie with a poster, I at least remember, because it features a giant Jim Belushi surfing on top of a much smaller limousine being driven by a half-sized Charles Grodin.

[26:43] TCB, baby.

[26:44] This is Taking Care of Business from 1990.

[26:48] The synopsis says, an uptight advertising exec has his entire life.

[26:53] I'm guessing that's the Jim Belushi character.

[26:55] No.

[26:56] No.

[26:56] No, Ellie.

[26:57] You would be wrong.

[26:58] What?

[27:00] No.

[27:00] An uptight advertising.

Stuart Wellington

[27:01] The Heartbreak Kid starring Jim Belushi.

Dan McCoy

[27:04] Clifford starring Martin Short and Jim Belushi.

[27:07] Oh, God.

[27:09] An uptight advertising exec has his entire life in a filofax organizer that mistakenly ends up in the hands of a friendly convict who poses as him.

[27:20] That's the Charles Grodin part.

[27:22] Classic screwball sort of setup, you know?

[27:25] A real case of mistaken identity.

Stuart Wellington

[27:27] As a person who has definitely seen this movie a couple times.

Dan McCoy

[27:33] Okay, well then maybe this next thing will have to be directed.

Stuart Wellington

[27:37] Honestly, I don't remember any of it.

Dan McCoy

[27:40] I have not seen this movie.

[27:42] Well, does it help to learn that the movie features genre favorites, Ken Foray, known for Dawn of the Dead and From Beyond,

[27:50] Gates McFadden, Beverly Crusher from Star Trek The Next Generation,

[27:54] and of course, Hector Elizondo, his genre being Gary Marshall movies.

Elliott Kalan

[27:59] And one of the co-stars of my favorite movie of all time,

[28:02] The Taken of Hell in 123 features Hector Elizondo.

Stuart Wellington

[28:04] I thought you were going to say Pretty Woman.

[28:07] Nope.

[28:09] Okay.

[28:10] I mean, because he's in that.

[28:11] He is in it.

[28:12] Yeah, he's in it.

[28:13] He is in it.

[28:14] He's cool.

[28:14] He's a cool character in that.

[28:15] He is a cool character.

Elliott Kalan

[28:17] He's always a cool character, yeah.

[28:19] Except in Taken of Hell in 123, in which he's a very hot-headed character.

[28:22] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:22] Yeah, it's true.

[28:23] The worst of them.

Stuart Wellington

[28:24] Yeah, Fire and Ice.

[28:25] That's Hector Elizondo.

Elliott Kalan

[28:26] Yep.

[28:27] Star of Fire and Ice, the Ralph Bakshi fantasy film, Hector Elizondo.

Stuart Wellington

[28:31] And I think he played backup guitar in Yngwie Malmsteen's.

[28:34] Rotoscoped thong.

Elliott Kalan

[28:35] So they just rotoscoped the thong.

Dan McCoy

[28:37] They didn't rotoscope him.

[28:38] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[28:39] They don't want to make it too sexy.

[28:41] Yeah.

[28:42] Well, are you more intrigued about this picture, learning that the screenplay is credited to

[28:49] two people, Jill Mazursky, daughter of famous director Paul Mazursky, and also J.J. Abrams.

[28:57] This is his first writing credit.

[29:00] Wow.

[29:01] Taking care of business.

[29:02] This is where it all started.

[29:03] A J.J. Abrams joint.

Elliott Kalan

[29:05] I mean, as much as I am inspired by that, that J.J. Abrams can go from co-writing this

[29:10] to doing the kinds of things that he does now, which is Star Wars movies, essentially.

[29:16] Yeah, I don't know.

[29:17] I don't know if the cast and the writers are not enticing me to see more about this movie.

Stuart Wellington

[29:22] And the premise doesn't get you hooked?

[29:24] Doesn't it have you slobbering?

Elliott Kalan

[29:25] No, not particularly.

[29:27] They do sound like a classic wacky odd couple mismatch.

Dan McCoy

[29:30] Well, how about this?

Elliott Kalan

[29:30] How about the Russian?

[29:31] Does he surf on the car in the movie?

[29:33] Is that an actual thing that happens?

[29:34] That's actually a really good question.

Stuart Wellington

[29:35] I don't remember.

Elliott Kalan

[29:36] I think he does, though.

[29:37] Yeah.

[29:38] Because I've only ever seen one other roof surfing movie, and of course it's Teen Wolf,

[29:43] which I used to enjoy as a kid, then I hated as a young adult.

[29:48] And now I'm back around to being like, this movie, you know what?

[29:51] I'll allow it.

[29:52] It won me over, yeah.

[29:53] Yeah.

[29:54] Well, okay.

Dan McCoy

[29:55] What about the Russian roulette that is the career of the director of this picture, Arthur

[30:01] Hiller, Arthur Hiller, sorry, who is responsible for, at the top of his career, the in-laws

[30:07] in Silver Streak.

Elliott Kalan

[30:08] Mm-hmm.

[30:09] Which are great.

Dan McCoy

[30:09] At the low end.

Elliott Kalan

[30:10] There's that one scene in Silver Streak, which, you know, is not so great anymore.

[30:13] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:14] And at the low end, Carpool and an Alan Smithy film, Burn, Hollywood, Burn.

[30:20] Oh, right.

[30:20] I remember when he-

[30:21] You never know what you're going to get with-

[30:24] Arthur Hiller, journeyman director.

Elliott Kalan

[30:27] Well, I mean, I wouldn't, there's any number of directors who have had highs and lows.

[30:32] It's not always-

[30:33] No, I know.

[30:33] You know?

Stuart Wellington

[30:34] I'm just saying, very few directors have perfect records.

[30:38] Stuart Gordon-

[30:39] Does the-

[30:40] The Coen brothers almost, not quite.

Dan McCoy

[30:42] I'm just saying, does the risk entice you?

Elliott Kalan

[30:46] Do you want to live on the edge?

[30:47] I'm just realizing now that Stuart said that Stuart Gordon has a perfect career, which I would take some issue with.

Stuart Wellington

[30:54] Wow.

[30:54] And shortly after his birthday, Elliot, come on.

[30:58] Why are you being such an asshole to Stuart Gordon?

Elliott Kalan

[31:00] You're right.

[31:00] I apologize that I'm being-

Dan McCoy

[31:02] I don't remember being that fond of, say, King of the Ants.

Stuart Wellington

[31:05] Oh, well, it's a good movie.

[31:07] Okay.

[31:08] So, argument over.

Elliott Kalan

[31:14] The, yeah, I'm going to pass on this one, Dan.

[31:17] I think I'm going to pass.

[31:17] Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

[31:18] As much of an Arthur Hiller completist as I am.

Dan McCoy

[31:21] Well, you can't pass fully yet.

[31:23] Would it change your opinion to here that under the parent's guide, violence section, the entry says, just some slapstick fighting.

[31:32] But under profanity, it says, four F words, at least 25 to 35 S words minimum, about 12 to 20 S words minimum.

[31:42] Minimum.

Dan McCoy

[31:42] They lost count.

[31:42] They just stopped counting after a certain point.

[31:44] About 12 to 20 S words minimum, including asshole and ass wife.

[31:49] Sounds like a fun night in the Stuart house.

[31:51] A few sons of bitches.

Elliott Kalan

[31:53] This does sound, that does sound like more of Stuart's vague erotic show, where it's just like, then there was some ass words.

[31:59] Some ass words were said.

Dan McCoy

[32:00] A few sons of bitches.

[32:01] 12 ass words were said.

[32:03] And about six uses of tits.

[32:06] About six uses.

Elliott Kalan

[32:08] About six uses.

[32:09] Not, they lost me a little bit by the end.

[32:11] That, that, that I was intrigued by all those ass words.

[32:12] No, no, I'm into it.

Dan McCoy

[32:13] I gotta watch this thing again.

[32:16] Okay, okay, okay.

[32:18] Well, hold on.

[32:18] Does this top IMDb user review do anything for you?

[32:22] Quote, can you say underrated?

[32:26] I can.

[32:28] So, yay or nay on taking care of business?

Elliott Kalan

[32:33] I'm gonna, I'm gonna give this one a big nay from me.

[32:36] I think I'm not gonna get involved.

[32:37] I'm not gonna take, this business will be taken care of by somebody else.

Stuart Wellington

[32:40] And I'll be taking care of this, the business of watching this movie.

Dan McCoy

[32:46] Just because Stuart wants to see if he can remember anything from before.

Stuart Wellington

[32:50] Oh, basically it's an experiment to see how badly I've deadened my brain with drugs and alcohol.

Elliott Kalan

[32:56] I mean, when it happens sometimes.

[32:58] In time.

[32:58] I, I've, I'm, I'm not a drug user.

[33:00] I don't drink much.

[33:01] Uh, and I know that I watched the movie The Toy over and over again as a kid.

[33:05] And I remember, I think, two scenes from the movie.

[33:07] Yeah.

[33:08] So, it just happens.

Dan McCoy

[33:11] Did I, did I watch The Toy by choice?

[33:13] Ellie Caelan endorses everything about the toy.

[33:15] No, I do not.

[33:16] It's the headline.

Elliott Kalan

[33:17] And the only reason I watched it was because it was on, for some reason HBO played it repeatedly.

Dan McCoy

[33:22] Yeah.

[33:22] At a certain point.

[33:22] No, it was true.

[33:24] And I would stumble upon it sometimes and be like, I think this is supposed to be funny.

[33:28] Richard Pryor's in it.

[33:29] Yeah.

[33:30] Why isn't it funny?

Elliott Kalan

[33:32] It's Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason, right?

[33:34] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[33:35] Um, okay.

[33:37] Final Belush movie.

[33:40] This is from 1992.

Elliott Kalan

[33:42] And all, all Belushes must come to an end eventually.

Dan McCoy

[33:46] 1992, an erotic thriller.

[33:48] The genre we all associate most with Jim Belushi.

Stuart Wellington

[33:51] If this is canine, I will be freaking out.

Dan McCoy

[33:55] Now, the title, a title I recognize.

[33:58] Know nothing else about it.

[34:00] Traces of Red.

[34:02] Traces of Red.

[34:06] Synopsis says.

Elliott Kalan

[34:06] That's a solid erotic thriller title right there.

[34:09] Yeah, Traces of Red.

[34:10] That is.

[34:10] Yeah.

[34:11] It feels very, it feels classy and foreign.

[34:13] Mm-hmm.

[34:14] Mm-hmm.

Dan McCoy

[34:15] Not a lot of red.

[34:17] Just traces.

Elliott Kalan

[34:18] Yeah.

[34:18] Just traces of red.

[34:20] I'm edging you with this red.

[34:22] Out, out, out, damn spot.

Dan McCoy

[34:24] Okay, the synopsis goes like this.

[34:28] Jack sleeps with a waitress who's later murdered.

[34:32] Did Jack's usual lover do it?

[34:35] Palm Beach detectives, Jack and Steve, investigate.

Elliott Kalan

[34:39] Wait, so is Jack the same Jack as the detective?

Dan McCoy

[34:44] I think that that's, I think that that's true.

[34:46] It's not clear in the description.

[34:47] It's not clear in the description.

[34:48] I think the, I, it's one of these where like, yeah, he slept with the victim and then he

[34:51] has to not reveal that wall.

Elliott Kalan

[34:54] It's a classic Hitchcock wrong, wrong man thriller, right?

Dan McCoy

[34:58] I don't know, Elliot.

[34:59] I know what I'd be.

[34:59] But you made this movie.

Elliott Kalan

[35:01] And then you're like, would it, would it help you to watch it if you knew that I wrote

[35:04] it?

[35:04] Dan McCoy.

Dan McCoy

[35:04] You know, well, you know who wrote it?

[35:07] That's the first enticement here.

Elliott Kalan

[35:09] Wait, what year was this from again?

[35:10] What year is this from?

[35:11] 92.

[35:12] 92.

[35:12] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[35:13] How does it strike you to learn that this is the director, Andy Wolk's only theatrical

[35:18] film, but he's done a lot of television, including two episodes of Arliss.

[35:26] Two episodes of Arliss.

Stuart Wellington

[35:28] We got a professional behind the camera.

Dan McCoy

[35:29] They liked him enough to ask him back over at Arliss.

Elliott Kalan

[35:34] For that second episode of Arliss.

Dan McCoy

[35:37] Not as, not as successful as the first episode, apparently, because then they stopped at two.

[35:45] He might be a perfectly good director.

[35:46] I don't know why.

[35:47] I'm just saying it that way.

Elliott Kalan

[35:49] No, you're, you're all, you're, you're very, you're very down on him.

[35:51] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[35:52] We're shit talking now, I guess.

Elliott Kalan

[35:53] I'm looking him up now.

[35:54] He did also direct a movie later called Pizza My Heart.

[35:57] So.

[35:59] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[36:00] Take another little.

[36:03] Okay.

[36:03] Well, how about this?

[36:05] What about the fact that the writer, Jim Piddick, has a story by credit for Tooth Fairy, the

[36:11] movie where the rock is the tooth fairy, but is better known as an actor, you may remember

[36:17] him as the straight man partner to Fred Willard's goofy dog show announcer in Best in Show.

[36:22] Oh, yeah.

[36:24] Okay.

[36:24] That actor wrote traces of red starring James Belushi.

[36:29] Okay.

[36:30] James L. Belushi.

[36:31] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[36:32] Yeah.

[36:34] Director of Terms of Embiirement, James L. Belushi.

Dan McCoy

[36:39] Perfect joke.

[36:43] Okay.

[36:44] I mean, I found that intriguing.

[36:46] What about this intriguing fact?

[36:48] Yeah.

[36:48] Perhaps the most jaw-dropping one of the episode.

[36:55] This movie also features an actor whose credited name is Edgar Allan Poe IV, who, according to

[37:05] the other unreliable IMDb trivia, is a direct descendant of the famous American author and poet,

[37:12] and whose other credits include the film Bikini Beach Race starring Dana Plato.

[37:19] Oh, man.

[37:20] Edgar Allan Poe IV.

Elliott Kalan

[37:22] I'm going to call, I don't, I'm going to look this up.

[37:25] I don't believe Edgar Allan Poe had children, so I don't know if it's possible to be a direct

[37:29] descendant of Edgar Allan Poe.

Stuart Wellington

[37:33] One thing I like.

[37:34] Yeah, no children.

[37:35] One thing I like about this game, guys, is that Dan gets to alter, like, vacillate between

[37:39] being basically Gil from Simpsons or Jareth from Labyrinth.

[37:46] He's alternate, like, begging us and enticing us.

Dan McCoy

[37:51] Yeah.

[37:52] So, all right.

[37:53] Well, it has a man in it who purports to be a descendant of Edgar Allan Poe.

Elliott Kalan

[37:58] Which is impossible.

[38:00] It's not a possibility.

[38:00] I have to believe it.

Dan McCoy

[38:01] To get roles.

Elliott Kalan

[38:02] He has no, he has had no children.

Dan McCoy

[38:05] But we can confirm he was in Bikini Beach Race.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] I mean, if I can't trust him about the Edgar Allan Poe thing, I don't know if I can trust

[38:13] him about Bikini.

[38:14] Maybe it was the original Edgar Allan Poe who was in Bikini Beach Race.

Dan McCoy

[38:16] All right.

[38:17] Well, other unreliable trivia to possibly entice you.

[38:22] How about this from IMDb?

[38:24] Quote, the ties worn by James Belushi in this film all came from his own personal wardrobe.

Elliott Kalan

[38:31] Well, now I need to watch it.

[38:32] Okay, now you've won me.

[38:34] Now I need to see it.

Dan McCoy

[38:36] I've got to pass out.

[38:39] All right.

[38:40] Wait.

[38:41] Okay.

[38:41] Well, this is just one, two more pieces of enticement or possible deticement.

[38:48] I mean, you had me with James Belushi's personal ties.

Stuart Wellington

[38:51] You can't whet my appetite anymore.

[38:52] I'm already slobbering all over everything.

Dan McCoy

[38:55] How do you feel about the fact that The Parent's Guide states that while this is an erotic thriller, the nudity is described as mild with the two entries being as followed.

[39:05] One, a woman's corpse is seen lying in bed topless, her bare breasts clearly visible.

[39:10] And two.

Elliott Kalan

[39:10] Don't like that.

[39:11] I don't like that.

[39:11] Even knowing that living people are playing the corpses, I don't like it when the nudity in his movie is a dead body.

Dan McCoy

[39:17] Two.

[39:19] A man climbs up.

Elliott Kalan

[39:20] Sorry, everybody.

[39:21] Sorry if that's closed-minded of me, that I'm not attracted to the dead.

Stuart Wellington

[39:24] I guess I won't gift you this Return of the Living Dead Part 3 DVD.

Elliott Kalan

[39:29] Well, yeah.

[39:30] Although, am I attracted?

[39:31] Well, here's the thing.

[39:32] I'm not attracted to the dead, but like—

[39:33] That's not—

[39:33] Does it matter if they're reanimated?

[39:35] Does Elvira count as dead, or is she not a real vampire?

Dan McCoy

[39:40] I don't—

[39:40] It's a good question.

[39:41] I think she might just be like a rule of some kind.

Elliott Kalan

[39:43] I mean, Elsa Lanchester as Bride of Frankenstein.

[39:46] Anyway, Dan, continue.

Dan McCoy

[39:46] Is this a road we want to go any further down?

[39:49] Probably not.

[39:51] It's a question I want to ask.

[39:52] That was the one I was trying to get by fast in order to get to the real need of this.

[39:59] Oh, okay.

[40:00] A man climbs on a woman who is lying on a bed, and they kiss.

[40:05] She sucks on an orange slice while he unbuttons her top, and he kisses her and fondles her over her bra.

[40:11] No nudity is visible during this scene.

Elliott Kalan

[40:14] So it has not only no nudity, what the prurient me as an adolescent, I assume, is trying to see, but also an orange slice.

[40:21] It has an orange slice.

[40:22] A food I find disgusting.

Stuart Wellington

[40:25] Yeah.

[40:25] Call me by your name, right?

Elliott Kalan

[40:26] Yeah.

[40:27] It's what's kept me from watching Call Me By Your Name is knowing that there's scenes with the prurient in it.

[40:30] There's fruit, yeah.

[40:31] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[40:32] Well, lastly, how do you feel hearing this rave from IMDb's top review?

[40:37] Okay.

[40:38] The first five minutes and the last ten minutes are good.

[40:47] So what's your final verdict on traces of red?

[40:50] What's my review of Titanic?

[40:51] What's your final verdict on traces of red?

[40:51] A gay urinary?

[40:54] Stuart?

Stuart Wellington

[40:55] Traces of red.

[40:58] Yeah, sure.

[40:58] Why not?

Elliott Kalan

[41:00] I mean, I want to see what James Belushi's ties look like.

[41:02] So can I just watch those parts?

[41:04] The parts where he's wearing ties?

[41:05] Yeah.

[41:05] There's probably a tie super cut.

[41:06] In the beginning and end.

Stuart Wellington

[41:07] That's why the, uh, that's the review.

[41:10] Yeah, he's tireless in the middle of the movie.

[41:14] Subject is tireless.

[41:15] I repeat, tireless.

[41:17] Uh, guys, so the real point of this game is so we can determine which movie we're going to watch next for the podcast, right?

[41:24] Is that true?

[41:25] I mean, we are doing nineties movies right now.

Dan McCoy

[41:26] No, but that would, that would have been a more clever thing.

[41:29] It would have made way more sense.

[41:31] Yeah.

[41:31] Stay tuned next week for traces of red.

[41:34] That's the point of a flop-ass mini.

[41:36] To not make any sense with our choices.

[41:39] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[41:40] Mm-hmm.

[41:40] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[41:41] Mission accomplished.

[41:42] And thank you.

[41:43] Thank you for indulging me on a premise that I grew more and more enthusiastic about as I did it.

[41:51] Okay.

[41:52] To the point where I was like, oh, I can't wait to spring this one on the guys.

Elliott Kalan

[41:56] Dan texted us and was like, wait till you see what I got cooked up for you this time.

Stuart Wellington

[42:02] I could tell from his typing that his fingers were shaking with anticipation.

Dan McCoy

[42:06] Hey, if you like this kind of thing, why don't go over to MaximumFun.org?

[42:13] That's our podcast network, Maximum Fun.

[42:15] There's a lot of other shows on the network you might enjoy.

[42:18] And, you know, if you like this kind of thing, that's the way we get support from you, the listener community.

[42:25] So that's another thing that you might want to consider.

[42:28] If you can't support us financially, that is absolutely fine.

[42:31] You know what, though?

[42:33] You could help your old buddies.

[42:35] We're not really your buddies.

[42:36] I don't want to encourage this parasocial thing.

[42:38] Like, I'm sure you're very nice.

[42:40] But if you want to help the people that you enjoy listening to spread the word about their show, why don't you leave a message?

[42:49] Leave a message.

[42:50] Leave a message on the public emergency hotline of your choice.

[42:54] Leave a review somewhere.

[42:56] Probably iTunes.

[42:58] You know, tell a friend.

Elliott Kalan

[43:00] iTunes is the top preferred way we would like you to leave a review.

[43:05] Spray-painted on a wall somewhere is probably at the bottom.

[43:08] You know, or scratched into a school desk.

[43:10] Maybe that's at the bottom.

Stuart Wellington

[43:11] Unless you include, like, a QR code that takes them to our page.

[43:16] That would be amazing.

[43:16] You know how to spray-paint a QR code.

Dan McCoy

[43:18] You spray-paint a QR code.

[43:19] Well, good skills.

[43:21] And you're talented.

[43:22] Congratulations.

[43:23] Maybe if you had, like, some sort of one of those stencils.

[43:27] That's what they call them.

[43:28] Yeah, stencils.

[43:29] Yeah, yeah.

[43:29] What am I, Banksy?

Elliott Kalan

[43:30] Carrying stencils around with me?

[43:32] No thanks.

Dan McCoy

[43:33] Wow.

[43:34] Elliot's previously unheard of.

[43:35] Hatred of stencils.

[43:36] Anyway, so we were signing off, but I was saying.

[43:39] And Banksy.

[43:40] He's like, why is he defacing public property?

Elliott Kalan

[43:43] I mean, to be honest, if Banksy did spray-paint my house, I would be like,

[43:47] Banksy, why are you doing this?

[43:48] Leave my house, please.

Dan McCoy

[43:49] If you like this stuff for some reason, help us spread the word about the show.

[43:54] Thank you to Alex Smith.

[43:56] He's our producer.

[43:58] You can find him all over the web under the name Howl Dottie.

[44:02] If you put it into Google, it'll probably tell you how to spell it.

Elliott Kalan

[44:06] But for now.

[44:07] It's an interesting experiment, at the very least, to see if that's what happens.

Dan McCoy

[44:11] For now.

[44:12] I've been Dan McCoy.

[44:14] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[44:15] I'm Elliot Kalin.

[44:16] Can't wait to see you at Flop TV and in our next Flophouse Podcast episode.

[44:20] Thanks for listening.

Stuart Wellington

[44:22] Bye!

FH Mini 87 - Jim Possible?

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