FH Mini 90 - Cruising Along, with Jonathan Coulton and Paul Sabourin

[0:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Flophouse. Mini? What? I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:11] I'm sorry. I got thrown off. Stuart was so delighted, by the way, I said that. Yeah,

[0:15] I was surprised that we were doing a mini. I thought we were doing a real episode. And

[0:20] I'm Elliot Kaelin, being professional for a moment to say that later on in the show,

[0:23] I'm going to tell you how to see our next episode of Flop TV, our online broadcast show.

[0:28] October 7th is our next episode. We're going to be talking about the American meat double

[0:32] feature of Hot Dog, the movie and Hamburger, the motion picture. Go to the Flophouse dot

[0:36] SimpleTix dot com for tickets. And I'll also tell you later more about our live shows at

[0:40] Vidiots in Los Angeles, Thursday, October 19th, VidiotsFoundation dot org for tickets

[0:45] or information. But I'll tell you about that later. First, Dan, what's going on? I think

[0:48] we have some special guests or maybe you wanted to wait to announce them. I don't know. You

[0:51] didn't tell us what you were doing on this mini. On this mini, we have two special guests.

[0:56] We have Jonathan Colton, who you may know from songs. And also what an intro. That's

[1:04] why Dan won an entry last year for best intros. Now you see what you see, what wowed the judges.

[1:11] It's very kind of you to say, Dan. Thank you. And we also have Paul Saborin, who you may

[1:16] also know from songs from other songs, other songs and occasionally Jonathan's songs. Yep.

[1:22] And, you know, from I don't know, Justin McElroy yelling at him to get him some. What

[1:27] does he drink? Courvoisier? What is he? For a long time, he drank white wine, which is

[1:32] a white claw and wine mixed together. That sounds awful. We're getting all the behind

[1:37] the scenes secrets. Yeah. And and they're on in part because they do a cruise. The Joko

[1:48] cruise, as I mentioned before. I like I like Dan. You mentioned they do a cruise, as if

[1:52] we have mentioned cruises already, which we have not. I'm sorry, Elliot. I was distracted

[1:57] by the ghost arm that appeared behind you. That was the arm of the that was the arm of

[2:02] my ghostly wife appearing in the room to get something and puncturing my background. Don't

[2:09] forget you have to pick up the kids at three. Well, I do have to pick up one of my kids

[2:14] at three. Get out of my life. Get out of my life. Stop watching me. Well, we should ask

[2:20] you a bit about what this cruise is. But but because of this cruise, we're talking

[2:25] about cruise movies, movies set like cruising boats and movies with Tom Cruise. Yeah. Well,

[2:33] that was that was going to be the final joke of the show. But we can we can put it up here.

[2:38] Yeah. So we're going to talk about a movie set on boats, but specifically cruise ships,

[2:43] not just like, you know, like Dead Calm. Yeah. Or White Squall. Or White Claw, which

[2:51] is White Squall mixed with white wine. Or Dead Squall. Any combination of those six

[2:56] words. Calm Squall, which is not much of a squall. Yeah. Or Squall Squall, which is the

[3:02] sequel to one of them, but I'm not sure which. Yeah. Or Squally, which is about a robot who

[3:07] has a boat, I guess. Let's you know, let's start. Let's jump right into it, actually.

[3:14] Let's do it that way. So do we want to say anything more about that? Well, I was going

[3:19] to go through a couple of the movie. You know, can I mention a couple of my songs? I mean,

[3:27] you know, there's nothing more helpful than second guessing. I want to I want to tell

[3:30] you that right up front. I feel like there hasn't even been a first guess. I was I was

[3:34] saying, why don't we do it this way? I thought maybe we would go through a couple of movies

[3:38] and then be like, now, how does this compare to the cruise? What happens on your cruise?

[3:43] I'd also like to say, since we're at a stopping point as a longtime fan of the show, to literally

[3:48] have a front row seat to be derailing of Dan is kind of exhilarating. I mean, the thing

[3:53] is, I haven't heard it in my in my car so often or just through my my earbuds to have

[3:59] it like here in my. Yeah. For I did. It's a sense around. Yeah. For the X. The funny

[4:05] thing is, it sounds like there's no preparation at all. I did spend most of the morning like

[4:10] taking notes for this specific many. But you can't do more preparation than that than to

[4:15] take notes in the morning before the recording. So continue to get us back. I'm just pointing

[4:25] out it doesn't have to be this way. There is another way, just like Sparks said on their

[4:30] new song doesn't have to be this way. So let's talk about oddly the most Oscar nominated

[4:36] film we will talk about. And that is the Poseidon of Adventure 1972, which I was shocked to

[4:44] learn was nominated for a total of eight Academy Awards. Yeah. Winning for best song and best

[4:49] visual effects. Now, can you hum a couple of bars of that song for us, Dan? The Poseidon

[4:57] of Adventure, exciting and new. I don't even know how I believe this song was. There's

[5:02] got to be a morning after. There's got to be a morning after. Yeah. Dan is known for

[5:07] songs, I think. Yeah. You may know Dan. Three songsters on the show today. You may know

[5:13] Dan from song. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome aboard, Dan. You guys did get it. You did get a fuller

[5:20] intro than when Joe Bob Briggs was on the show. And Dan goes, I'll let our guest introduce

[5:23] himself. What are you doing? You know what? That song is factually true, though, that

[5:33] it does have to be a morning after. So it wins on the merits of the case. That was where

[5:38] it was outstandingly factual songs that cannot possibly be false songs. It was up against

[5:46] I'm Blue, which ended up being disqualified because they're not. The singer was not blue.

[5:50] He was taking the character of a blue guy, lives in a blue house, has a blue car. He

[5:54] was WD, but he was not WD. And that is a huge scandal. It's really so this film, just a

[6:05] short summer. It's a disaster film. It's about a boat that overturns on New Year's

[6:10] Eve due to a tsunami ship. Sure. And then they have to make their way to the top of

[6:17] the boat, which is what was formerly the bottom of the boat. And this is based on a novel.

[6:23] It was directed by Ronald Neame. It was sort of a Freaky Friday situation where the top

[6:27] of the boat and the bottom. Yeah. They wished on a magic skull to eat a fountain at the

[6:32] same time. Ronald Neame was the director. He also directed the films Hopscotch, Scrooge

[6:37] and the Prime of Miss Jean Brody and was a writer of David Lean's early films. Great

[6:44] expectations was one of them. The famous team. You know them from songs. I had never looked

[6:52] into what the sequel was. There's a sequel beyond the Poseidon adventure about a salvage

[6:57] team going to the original ship and getting trapped. And that has Michael Caine in it.

[7:02] It's supposed to be awful. There was a Wolfgang Peterson, Kurt Russell remake. You may know

[7:08] that. It's called Poseidon. I was going to say the sequel should have been just called

[7:12] Poseidon adventures. Or do you think beyond is enough? Because I'm not a big fan of beyond

[7:19] because like that's just setting expectations to go to space. Yeah. It both sounds like

[7:25] very like where it's going to be vegan, you know, exciting and extreme like beyond. But

[7:31] it also is the most vague thing you can say. It's like, yeah, yeah. Just like all beyond

[7:35] that is another thing. You don't want to you don't want to say Poseidon adventure again.

[7:40] That doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. What about Poseidon's adventure? More Poseidon. There's two gods of

[7:47] the ocean. I would have loved it. It's upside down now. If the if the sequel had started by

[7:54] like the the group of people finally reach the bottom slash top of the boat and then another

[7:59] roadway comes and he flips the boat or tips it sort of to the bow, as they say.

[8:08] Have you guys seen this movie? I saw this movie. I remember enjoying it. Basically, it is,

[8:13] you know, over long, like a lot of those 70s disaster films are packed star studded. Yeah,

[8:20] it was. That was an early Irwin Allen. It has five Oscar winners in the cast.

[8:25] Gene Hackman, Ernest Borg, nine Jack Albertson, Shelley Winters and Red Buttons.

[8:30] All your buttons, red buttons when an Academy Award. I don't know. That was beyond it. I think

[8:35] it was for Sayonara, but I'm going to double check. His role was originally supposed to be

[8:40] Gene Wilder, but Gene Wilder dropped out. It was but the character was named Gene Wilder.

[8:45] Uh, yeah, playing while they're in Poseidon. Did we talk about this on on the podcast yet that I

[8:54] read a while back that Gene Wilder was supposed to star in the movie Magic that Anthony Hopkins

[8:58] ended up starring in? Imagine about the crazy ventriloquist. Imagine how much better that

[9:03] movie would have been. It would have been amazing. That would have been crazy.

[9:07] There's that scene where where Anthony Hopkins is like using his ventriloquist,

[9:10] his magic tricks to like seduce a woman and make her fall in love with him. And I was like,

[9:14] this doesn't quite work, but Gene Wilder would have been able to pull it off amazingly well.

[9:18] Yeah, yes, it was. It was Sayonara that Red Buttons won his Academy Award for supporting actor.

[9:23] Perhaps if if Anthony Hopkins was still playing the same role, but

[9:27] Gene Wilder was playing the role of the ventriloquist dummy.

[9:32] Would they play it totally straight? Like nobody, nobody breaks the kayfabe that it's

[9:36] like on a Darmen Gregg when Teller would play a cat and there's only one character that noticed

[9:41] it was a man in a cat costume. Darmen Gregg, that wacky pair. Did they ever get it together?

[9:50] It was almost comical how mismatched they were. I've never actually seen Magic, but I

[9:55] I think Alan Moore talks about it in his

[10:00] Maestro course as an example of the of like the translation from

[10:05] Fiction to like written fiction to film didn't quite work because like the initial reveal doesn't make like isn't the shock

[10:13] That it was when you're like when you're reading about it because you can see that it's a dummy basically that makes sense

[10:20] I haven't gotten to that lesson yet Stuart and I we're gonna we're gonna take the Alan Moore maestro course together and

[10:25] Stuart raced ahead of me and I have I'm still stuck in like the first there now

[10:28] He's more of a maestro than you. I

[10:31] Have no children time

[10:34] Yeah, that's the difference for sure. Yeah, it's pretty sweet

[10:37] Recommitting to to Dan's original bit. I will say that the Joko Cruz spends far less time

[10:44] Upside down than the Poseidon adventure does. Okay, that's one. I don't want to over promise that it spends absolutely no time

[10:51] It's been it has been upside down zero times to date

[10:54] Well, we do we do a quick roll, but we roll. Yeah. Yeah, we do Eskimo rolls

[10:58] I mean everybody does an Eskimo roll

[11:01] For the most part it is the individual cruise goers decision to be upside down or not and they can do that

[11:08] It's another round. Yeah, as long as we're recommitting to things that I said

[11:17] I used to play a lot on like TNT when I was a kid and I think I saw it in pieces

[11:21] But I don't think I've ever actually sat down and watched it from beginning to end. I'm the same as Elliot

[11:26] Yeah, I have a similar relation. I vaguely remember seeing it and

[11:31] Gene Hackman plays a priest. Yes. Is he a very muscular priest?

[11:37] Disillusioned priest. Yeah

[11:40] He's a no bullshit. He's a cool Gene Hackman priest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember there's what there's one scene where he's trying to say

[11:47] He has to do something to save everybody. He jumps onto a

[11:50] Steam platform. He's gonna turn off a steam pipe. Yeah from the

[11:55] The wheel and he's turning it and it's burning his hands. Oh

[11:59] Yes, just like that

[12:02] Finally has to he's he's closed the steam valve and then he can't get back and so he just lets go and falls into the

[12:07] Water and dies and I remember watching that as a kid is like why didn't he even try to get back to the platform?

[12:14] Did he like a sick like can opener or something

[12:19] He yelled belly flop. I said mommy. Watch me. Mommy. Mommy. Watch me

[12:24] The Shelly Winters, right? Yeah as a priest he figured you know, like Oh greater love hath no man

[12:29] So if I die right now, I am guaranteed to get where I want to go

[12:34] Somebody's it's a little selfish. It's kind of a selfish move

[12:37] It is I actually I've I've watched the movie probably the most recently a couple years back. I

[12:44] Came across it on TNT as I do with all things

[12:48] They took a break from airing Shawshank Redemption to start yeah, they were contractually obligated to spend two hours not showing Shawshank

[12:56] But in that last scene he is spending that time

[13:00] Shutting off the valve basically screaming at God like really pissed at God

[13:05] No more stop because they were like almost at the top and then Steve Alvin went off and it killed one last person

[13:10] I can't remember who

[13:12] And so maybe he's not going so he died faithless

[13:16] Yeah, and he actually like the the water he falls into is like it's it's got it's got an oil fire

[13:22] Fire water. Yeah, it's fire water, which is you know, not not the subtlest of symbolism

[13:28] Flash though, we'd probably put those flames out. So that's not really how oil on water works necessarily, but it could be

[13:35] Yeah, I'm not a biologist

[13:40] Gene Hackman dies saving other people but also faithless and so it goes to heaven's court to figure it out

[13:51] Beyond the Poseidon adventure. Yeah, it's his try. It's him and Albert Brooks defending their lives in heaven

[13:58] Well, let's move on to an equally

[14:01] Lauded film boat trip from

[14:04] 2002

[14:06] How many Oscars was boat trip nominated

[14:10] It was nominated for a Razzie but lost to Julie and of course, you know, the Razzies are are nonsense

[14:17] Yes, I even more nonsense than the Oscars, which is that was something I pointedly didn't put in my notes

[14:24] But you know Paul set me up for it well enough that I'm like, yeah

[14:27] It starts Cuba Gooding jr. Horatio Sands Vivica a Fox Lynch a Roger Moore what a cast

[14:35] Directed that's at least one Oscar winner. How many Oscars are in that one? Keep getting jr. Yeah, I don't guess

[14:43] Gold right

[14:46] He was nominated for folks and then he won for gold

[14:49] It was a big mix-up, yeah

[14:52] Also, well, I'm looking at the cast list now also in it Thomas Lennon Richard Roundtree Will Ferrell

[14:59] But lots of stars in smaller roles, yeah, well of comedy it was

[15:04] That well-known comedy duo of Will Ferrell and Richard Roundtree

[15:09] It was directed and co-written by Mort Nathan who in the plus column wrote a bunch of Golden Girls and

[15:16] The film Kingpin and the minus was creator of the secret diary of Desmond Pfeiffer. Oh Desmond Pfeiffer Dan

[15:25] What what a what a what an interestingly misbegotten show

[15:30] Is that the one where it was a Chi McBride or someone is the president's yes

[15:36] He's Abraham Lincoln's Butler during the Civil War and the idea is that this is the true story of it that Abraham Lincoln everyone in

[15:42] The White House are all bumbling idiots and it was basically Benson and like that the black Butler is the only character was keeping things

[15:47] afloat

[15:48] but also

[15:48] there were so many like Abraham Lincoln gay jokes and things like that and it was oh it was not a

[15:54] Perchance was this a sitcom in the early to mid 90s. It certainly was

[16:02] Yeah, yeah, so similarly tasteful concept here

[16:07] Two straight men on the make looking for ladies

[16:10] Are booked on a gay cruise because their gay travel agent was mad at them

[16:16] so

[16:17] This was filmed in 2001 but released in

[16:21] 2003 it has an 18 out of 100 on Metacritic and the IMDb trivia says

[16:26] Sir, Roger Moore did this movie for the money and for a free vacation

[16:37] So I've been using boat trip

[16:40] 2002 because I have not seen boat trip

[16:41] I have not seen I feel like I got the gist from the from the preview that I watched this morning in preparation

[16:47] Yeah, I'm gonna say when I when I looked it up on

[16:51] And I don't know what it was on what it was available on but it had a little tag

[16:56] Criterion channel probably, right? Yeah

[17:00] I had a little tag that said LGBTQ. So it's

[17:04] Yeah, you're welcome you have to assume there's some face-saving moment at the end where the characters learn something about I don't know about

[17:12] Gay people or maybe not. That is what Wikipedia told me

[17:16] Yes, they they turn around their opinions

[17:18] But I remember that even at the time even at the different era of 2002. This was widely decried

[17:25] It's like what is this? Oh this like homophobic nonsense. What is this thing? I cannot believe that we've been let down

[17:33] by Cuba Gooding jr.'s famous ability to choose quality

[17:40] What's amazing to me is this came out five years before I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry which which it's like

[17:46] I don't the the idea that uh, the idea that five years later. They were still making movies kind of like this

[17:52] You know in a way. Yeah, they've probably been in the draw on the drawing board for a long time

[17:57] You don't want to let go of an idea even if it becomes an increasingly bad idea over. Yeah, that's how I work anyway

[18:04] So I'm gonna go ahead and say I did not see this movie. Yeah, you're gonna go ahead and say

[18:14] Didn't rush to the theaters to and throw them a bag full of money and say I don't my hair care how much it costs get

[18:18] me on the boat

[18:20] Like Dan you're you watch bad movies as just part of your life

[18:26] Yeah

[18:30] I was born in the dark. You merely adopted

[18:34] No

[18:35] I mean, that's that's true. But like there's certain like bad comedies

[18:39] Obviously just painful not fun most of the time and like stuff that I find morally repugnant in some way

[18:46] I there's bad and then there's misbegotten. Yeah

[18:50] But I have not seen it yet. I think what happened is Dan checked to make sure there weren't any sexual situations

[18:58] I'm sure that there are plenty of sexual situations

[19:03] Tag that you look for on your

[19:05] In the TV guide for anyone who is not a perverted teenager in the 1990s

[19:10] We look at the TV guide to see what late-night movies were worth watching if it's a nudity. No, that's not gonna be great

[19:16] That's not good. That's a but that's one but exactly it might be who knows might be an animal's butt

[19:22] You don't know and but if it said sexual situations, oh boy, that's where the real nudity now

[19:27] I or disagree on this one because I you know, like I can't wear it with science Dan

[19:34] I'm with you. There are a lot of movies that have quote-unquote sexual situations that didn't have any nudity

[19:41] Which is what I was looking for

[19:42] So what you want is you want to stack them you want nudity and what you really want especially on that HBO listing is strong

[19:48] Sexual yes

[19:56] Teenage boys looking for some looking for nudity in their homes

[20:00] Yeah. I feel like such an old man saying this, but really, wow, what a lost experience.

[20:08] Okay, the lady in my day, I had to stay up till 2am and make sure my parents were

[20:13] didn't hear me to see pornography. Now it's on your phone.

[20:16] I had to suffer through some arty art house bullshit. It was boring.

[20:22] Back in the day, we used to go to the vaudeville and sit through 64 acts before we got to the

[20:27] strong sexual content, olio. I still get to find our magazines in the woods or rail yard or rail yard.

[20:37] Um, let's, let's move on to one that, uh, perhaps is better loved.

[20:43] So boat trip is similar to the Joko Cruz. Is there a lot of homophobia and stuff like that?

[20:49] There's a, there's very little, uh, we like to think implied or explicit homophobia or,

[20:55] or, uh, ill-conceived concepts.

[20:59] The one overlap is that the Joko Cruz is essentially like one long three's company episode.

[21:05] It is a trip on a boat. And to that extent, it is very much like boat trip.

[21:09] Right. Exactly. Okay.

[21:14] What about Roger Moore? Is he going to show up?

[21:17] Joko Cruz? Not yet. I'd love to get him. He's a, he's a tough book.

[21:22] Has he passed?

[21:26] Yeah, that's why it's so hard to get. I mean, in some ways to make it easier for him to get,

[21:30] he doesn't need to want to be there. He's not going anywhere. Yeah. Yeah.

[21:33] You know, he doesn't have anything else booked.

[21:36] You finally tell you where to find him Monaco cemetery. Okay. That's where he's buried

[21:41] alongside Josephine Baker, uh, the mall and Roger Moore. Wow. What a great neighborhood.

[21:48] Okay. The lady would say, isn't Josephine Baker in the Pantheon? No, no, no, no, no. They,

[21:53] they have, she has been celebrated in the Pantheon in France, in Paris, but her body is still.

[21:58] Thank God you corrected that. Cause I was fuming the lady Eve 1941, of course,

[22:05] written and directed by the great Preston Sturges and starring Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda.

[22:10] It's about a con artist who meets her next mark on an ocean liner and begins to fall for him.

[22:16] I did not know it was loosely based on a 19 page short story by

[22:20] Moncton Hoth called two bad hats. Very loosely based.

[22:25] Originally going to be the title. That is the best. You can't make up a name like

[22:30] Moncton Hoth with an E at the end. Yeah. Moncton Hoth.

[22:35] Uh, call me monkey.

[22:38] Moncton Hoth is my father.

[22:43] Um, uh, the plot was recycled in, uh, 1956 for the film, the birds and the bees starring George

[22:51] Goebel, Mitzi Gaynor and David Diven. Have you seen that movie, Elliot? Let's see. You seem like

[22:54] you might know. No, I haven't seen that one. No. The birds and the bees, the birds and the bees

[23:00] haven't completed the Goebel cycle. No. I mean, if you have any questions about either of David

[23:07] Niven's memoirs, I've read both of those. Oh, they're the best. The first one, The Moon's a

[23:11] Balloon is a great book. It's really good. The second one is so-so, but, uh, but I highly

[23:17] recommend David Niven's first memoir. It's really good. Especially when you hear somebody talking a

[23:21] whole lot of dirty laundry about, uh, Errol Flynn. Yes. Yeah. Oh, I do want that. Um,

[23:29] the one piece of trivia that I, I singled out was it was hibernation season during the shoot.

[23:36] So Emma, the king snake was always sleeping. So that's what Henry Fonda called his penis.

[23:48] Never work with snakes or children. That's what they say. Or Henry Fonda's penis.

[23:52] Or Henry Fonda's penis. Um, Henry Fonda's penis was originally cast in Gideon's Trumpet,

[23:58] but it wasn't working out. So Henry Fonda was like, I'll take the role.

[24:01] But they got the title. Like that was his, his second nickname. That was the penis's name for

[24:05] himself was Gideon's Trumpet. Now, Elliot, I know you have a strong Preston Sturges opinions. This,

[24:12] this is one of my one or two faves. I recently read a whole book about him. Yeah.

[24:16] This is like definitely top three, probably top two for me. What do you think? I have to say,

[24:22] this is just my opinion. The Lady Eve, I like it, but it's never been one of my favorites.

[24:27] Uh, I've, I've take, you know, one of his movies is my third favorite movie of all time,

[24:31] the miracle of Morgan's Creek. Uh, and I love that one. I love the Palm beach story.

[24:36] Uh, I love, um, did he, did he direct, uh, torque? Yeah. He went on, just like Roger Moore,

[24:45] they dug him up and they brought him in and he was in the room when they were,

[24:48] when they were making torque. And, but so it was, it was a kind of a,

[24:51] it was a kind of a film shoot at Bernie's situation. Funny enough. You mentioned torque

[24:55] because, uh, actually the Joko cruise is basically torque at sea.

[24:59] That's how we've been marketing it. There's a lot more motorcycles than you would expect

[25:04] for a cruise ship. Yeah. Usually motorcycles. Yeah. Uh, but the lady is very good for some

[25:09] reason. It just never quite makes me laugh as much as, uh, some of the other ones.

[25:13] Yeah. I mean, it's, I would agree with that. It's not necessarily like

[25:18] one of the funniest, but like it is very funny. And combined with, I think one of the,

[25:23] being one of the best constructed, like best, like, I don't know. It's extremely charming.

[25:29] Yeah. It is very charming. And there's a, uh, I mean like everyone in it is it's, it's a,

[25:33] it's a great movie to spend time with, you know, any movie where you get Eugene pallet in it,

[25:38] I'll watch it, you know? Um, and he's in it, William Demarest, and you got a lot of people

[25:42] from the, from the Sturgis stable. We're really good at it. And of course, Sturgis stable plus

[25:47] Stanwyck, how can you go wrong? Now I say this without any insult intended. I'm assuming Stewart

[25:53] has not seen the lady Eve. Yeah. I don't want that kind of shit, Paul, Paul, Paul. Sorry,

[25:58] not Paul. Uh, Jonathan, have you seen it? I have not seen it. This is one of those black and white

[26:03] type films, right? No, thanks. What color is everything even, I can't even tell. Yeah. There's

[26:14] no possible way of imagining either. It's very hard. Hi, this is Lori Kilmartin and I'm Jackie

[26:27] Cashion. And we have a podcast called the Jackie and Lori show on max fun. And it's very exciting

[26:31] because what do we talk about? Comedy, standup comedy. We both do standup comedy and have since

[26:36] the dawn of Christ, Jackie, is that offensive? It is offensive to me because you've aged me.

[26:43] Uh, we started in the late eighties and we're still here. You can't kill us. So go to the

[26:50] Jackie and Lori show on max fun and listen to that. The Jackie and Lori show new episodes,

[26:55] Monday, maximum fun. Greatest Trek is the podcast for all your modern Star Trek needs. It's funny,

[27:09] informative, and now it's also timely. That's because every Friday, right after the release

[27:13] of a new episode of strange, new worlds, Picard, lower decks, discovery, or prodigy. We bring you

[27:19] a review of that episode. There's some great new Star Trek coming up and we're going to cover all

[27:23] of it. You'll like our show because we're both former video producers. So we bring a lot of

[27:27] insight into the production and filmmaking aspects to these episodes. And we also have a very refined

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[27:36] Trek is one of the most popular television recap podcasts on all of the internet. Subscribe to

[27:42] greatest track at maximum fun.org or in the podcast app you're using right now. The flop house is

[27:49] sponsored in part by Babel. Hey, what do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual

[27:55] someone who speaks to bilingual, someone who speaks only one American,

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[28:21] Instead of paying hundreds of dollars for a private tutor or fooling yourself with language

[28:26] apps that are a little more than games, I'm not going to name any names, I've had bad experience

[28:32] with these ones. Dan, you can't learn a language from Fruit Ninja, I'm sorry. I know,

[28:39] but I did learn what a lot of different fruits look like, especially when you slice them apart.

[28:44] Babel's quick 10-minute lessons are designed by over 150 language experts to help you start

[28:49] speaking a new language in as little as three weeks. And one study found that using Babel for

[28:54] 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at college. So, look, do you have time for a full

[29:02] semester at college? I certainly don't, not at this time in my life. I got bills to pay,

[29:08] I got cats to feed, I can't be learning French at some hoity-toity ivory tower university.

[29:14] I gotta get myself this Babel. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Incidentally,

[29:20] it's not the ivory tower university, but it is named after the most famous tower in history.

[29:25] Yeah. For our listeners, to get you started right now, you can get 55% off your Babel subscription,

[29:34] but only for our listeners at babel.com slash flop. Get 55% off at babel.com slash flop,

[29:41] spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash flop. Rules and restrictions may apply. Also,

[29:50] sponsored in part by The Big Flop. Huh. It's another thing that has flop in the title.

[29:58] Every big moment starts with a big dream.

[30:00] But what happens with that big dream turns out to be an even bigger failure.

[30:04] Each week on Wondery's new podcast, The Big Flop, host Misha Brown is joined by comedians

[30:10] to chronicle some of the biggest failures in pop culture history, from box office flops

[30:14] like Cats the Movie, to Action Park, New Jersey's famous theme park that had countless injuries,

[30:19] many lawsuits, and rides so wild it became known as Class Action Park.

[30:24] I went there.

[30:25] Each episode will have you thinking to yourself, why in the world did this get made?

[30:30] Seems similar to, anyway, listen to The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get

[30:36] your podcasts.

[30:37] And we also have some jumbotrons.

[30:39] We got a couple of them, and here's how the first one goes.

[30:42] This message is for Dale.

[30:44] The message is from Nora.

[30:46] Happy almost big birthday to my best friend and soulmate.

[30:50] Thank you for introducing me to the Peaches, even though I usually fall asleep during movies.

[30:55] I love having so many things to laugh about with you.

[30:58] Doing bits featuring Crawdaddy or the Tan-Tan Lady gives us the added bonus of annoying

[31:02] the children.

[31:03] Here's to many more fun birthdays.

[31:07] How sweet.

[31:08] Also, thank you for your patience when I acted confused while asking you to explain

[31:30] why a pin saying Ding Dong Gate showed up in the mail.

[31:33] It's for a good cause.

[31:34] It was not the response I was expecting.

[31:38] It was for a good cause, though.

[31:39] Thank you for getting that pin.

[31:41] We also, in addition to those jumbotrons, those are two sweet jumbotron messages, we

[31:44] have some of our own messages that I'm going to tell you about.

[31:47] Remember how I teased this at the top of the show?

[31:48] Well, guess what?

[31:49] Flop TV, our monthly one-hour television version of the Flophouse, continues apace.

[31:55] We've had two great episodes, Beastmaster 2 and Cool World, and our next episode comes

[32:00] up on October 7th, and as I mentioned, it's an all-American meat double feature, Hot Dog

[32:05] the Movie and Hamburger the Motion Picture.

[32:08] That's at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific on October 7th, but guess what?

[32:12] If you can't make it, your ticket gets you access to the episode recording, and those

[32:17] episode recordings are going to stay up through the entire length of the series, and if you

[32:21] get a season pass, which gives you a discounted rate for all the episodes, all six episodes

[32:26] in the season, you get to watch those recordings again and again until the whole series is

[32:32] over.

[32:33] That's theflophouse.simpletics.com, that's theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[32:38] Let me just tell you, this weekend I watched both of these movies, and we are going to

[32:41] have some things to talk about, because, and here's a little preview, I now consider Hamburger

[32:47] the Motion Picture a crime.

[32:49] Moving on, you'll hear more about that on October 7th at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific,

[32:55] theflophouse.simpletics.com.

[32:56] Did I do a presentation for this episode that I'm worried about how many slides I put

[33:03] in this thing?

[33:04] Indeed, I did, so let's see how that turns out.

[33:07] Let's see if Dan suffers from TMS, too many slides.

[33:10] We've also got some in-person shows coming up, that's right.

[33:14] You can watch us online from the comfort of your home, broadcasted over your computer

[33:17] internet, or you can come see us in person if you live in the Los Angeles area.

[33:22] That's Thursday, October 19th at Vidiots.

[33:25] Vidiots is a great, independent video store slash movie theater.

[33:28] It's a really comfortable space, it's really fun, and we're going to be there live Thursday,

[33:32] October 19th at 6 p.m. talking about Speed 2 Cruise Control, and at 8.45 p.m. talking

[33:38] about Three Men and a Baby with a special mystery guest.

[33:41] I'll give you some hints.

[33:42] She's a champion union contract negotiator, she's the star of the show, and your third

[33:46] hint, she's Hallie Haglund.

[33:47] That's right, Hallie's going to join us in person.

[33:50] These guys didn't know, this is a prize for Dan and Stuart, that Hallie is going to join

[33:53] us for our Three Men and a Baby show at 8.45, but we're also going to have fun at 6 p.m.

[33:57] talking about Speed 2 Cruise Control.

[33:59] So go to vidiotsfoundation.org, and that's V-I-D-I-O-T-S foundation.org, and go to the

[34:06] October 19th page on the calendar to get tickets for either or both those shows.

[34:11] There are going to be two all original shows, different presentations, different movies

[34:15] written about, different questions.

[34:16] It's going to be amazing.

[34:17] Now, I just want to round this out with some good news, but also with a call for your help

[34:23] still.

[34:24] As we're recording this episode, it appears that a deal has been reached between Dan and

[34:28] Mai's union, the Writers Guild of America, and the studio bosses over at the AMPTP.

[34:32] This is wonderful.

[34:33] It appears that the long-lasting Writers Guild strike may finally be ending.

[34:38] We won't know until later this week for sure, but that doesn't mean we still don't need

[34:43] help and that many other writers and entertainment workers will still need help.

[34:47] It's going to take time for work to start up again, it's going to take time for projects

[34:50] to continue, and the actors are still on strike.

[34:53] SAG-AFTRA is still on strike, and we support them entirely in their demands, in their striking

[34:59] efforts, and in their labor action.

[35:00] We want them to get the agreement they deserve.

[35:02] So if you can help us, help the entertainment communities survive again during this time,

[35:07] please continue thinking about making a donation to entertainmentcommunity.org.

[35:11] We've talked about it before.

[35:12] Just because our strike is over doesn't mean people don't need help.

[35:15] There's another strike going on, and there's a whole entertainment community that has been

[35:18] suffering because of these studio bosses holding their money like, I don't know, what's

[35:23] something that holds on to something else really tightly?

[35:25] A money clip.

[35:26] Oh, what?

[35:27] Yeah, holding on to their money like a money clip, perfect, no notes, 100%.

[35:31] So please consider making a donation at entertainmentcommunity.org.

[35:35] Thank you very much for your support during this time.

[35:38] Okay, moving on to another famous Cruise movie.

[35:44] Of course, when you say Cruise, everyone thinks of it.

[35:48] It's Hotel Transylvania 3, summer vacation from 2018.

[35:53] The monsters all go on vacation on a cruise from the hotel where presumably most of the

[35:59] guests are already on vacation.

[36:01] Yeah, it is a hotel.

[36:04] It's not a residential hotel, you know, for single monsters who are looking for husbands

[36:09] or anything.

[36:10] Do they own and operate the Hotel Transylvania?

[36:12] So I have seen the first Hotel Transylvania because our pal-

[36:18] And you've seen Transylvania 6, 5,000, of course.

[36:20] Of course.

[36:21] Of course.

[36:22] Our pal Griffin Newman over at Blank Check.

[36:23] What about Saturday the 14th?

[36:26] Let's stay on one topic.

[36:27] Richard Benjamin joint.

[36:29] I'm not going down this road because I'm in the middle of a sentence.

[36:33] Our friend at the Blank Check podcast, Griffin Newman, who is a big animation fan, speaks

[36:39] highly of the Hotel Transylvania series because in CGI, it does a lot more like cartoon goofiness

[36:47] than other-

[36:48] Yes.

[36:49] Because it's Ginny Tarkovsky is the director-

[36:51] Yeah, from Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack and-

[36:54] Yeah.

[36:55] So, yes, I've seen it and the original premise is Adam Sandler, Dracula-

[37:02] The Sandman.

[37:03] Owns this hotel.

[37:04] Right.

[37:05] He has a daughter who, Andy Sandberg, a normal human-

[37:09] Father Sandman.

[37:10] Romances.

[37:11] Yeah.

[37:12] I mean, it's ironic because he becomes Adam Sandler's son-in-law when he already played

[37:16] Adam Sandler's son in That's My Boy, right?

[37:18] Yeah.

[37:19] Right.

[37:20] Boy, yeah.

[37:21] Typecasting.

[37:22] Typecasting.

[37:23] Two Jewish guys.

[37:24] They have to be father and son.

[37:25] They're the only two Jewish guys in Hollywood, so they have to work together a lot.

[37:29] It's-

[37:30] Certainly in comedy.

[37:31] The only two.

[37:32] Yeah.

[37:33] Ellie, you sound like you've maybe seen this because of having children.

[37:34] Is this true or not?

[37:35] That's exactly why I've seen it.

[37:36] I haven't seen-

[37:37] Yeah.

[37:39] I haven't seen the first and the second, and my kids have shown no interest in the third

[37:42] one, which is surprising because they like the first one and the second one a lot.

[37:45] Very strange.

[37:46] Perhaps it's cruise ships.

[37:47] Maybe they don't like cruise ships, and I tell them, cruise ships are great.

[37:51] You should go on a cruise.

[37:52] It'll be really fun.

[37:53] Maybe early next year, a cruise ship full of comedians, full of music.

[37:56] It'll be great.

[37:57] It'll be wonderful.

[37:58] And they say, eh, no thanks.

[37:59] But they're kids.

[38:00] They don't know what they're talking about.

[38:01] Because they don't know.

[38:02] Because they don't know.

[38:03] It looks funny.

[38:04] Yeah.

[38:05] They go, eh, no thanks, doc.

[38:06] Walk away chewing on a carrot.

[38:09] They do walk around chewing on carrots a lot.

[38:11] That's very fair.

[38:12] And dressing up like ladies, and arguing with a duck over who should be shot today.

[38:18] Elliot, are your kids mad?

[38:21] Because they're like, on a cruise, where are the vampires going to go?

[38:26] The sun, the sun.

[38:27] Is that their objection?

[38:29] We've never gotten to the stage of actual objections, but it is something that I'm confused

[38:33] about.

[38:34] I've never seen it.

[38:35] I assume they have some kind of super sunblock that protects them or something like that.

[38:38] Does the sun figure into this particular Dracula incarnation in the world of science?

[38:44] Somebody call Griffin Newman.

[38:45] Ask him to explain it to us.

[38:46] We'll have to find out.

[38:47] Yeah, this is our phone-a-friend.

[38:48] Griffin Newman.

[38:49] Hey, is the Dracula in Hotel Transylvania?

[38:51] Two hours later.

[38:52] Or is he a Daywalker-like blade?

[38:56] That could, uh...

[38:57] Yeah, this episode suddenly becomes three and a half hours long.

[39:01] I think I have seen maybe Dracula with an umbrella in pictures.

[39:07] Maybe it's some sort of parasol situation.

[39:09] That's possible.

[39:10] I mean, the first Hotel Transylvania movie, I think the sun, I think it all takes place

[39:13] during night anyway.

[39:14] So I think the sun does affect him, but I don't know.

[39:17] Certainly the sun in law affects him.

[39:18] First with frustration, and then eventually with familial acceptance and love.

[39:22] That must have been real hard filming that animated movie when it was all night shoots.

[39:26] Very tough.

[39:28] The animators...

[39:29] Well, it was all shot day for night.

[39:32] Well, the thing is, the deadlines given to animation companies are so tight that they

[39:35] probably were working all night on it.

[39:37] Yeah, it probably was very tough.

[39:39] You sweet, stupid man.

[39:41] How is Adam Sandler's Dracula?

[39:44] What's his Dracula like?

[39:45] He just sounds like...

[39:46] It's an unlikely cast.

[39:47] No, he just sounds like an old Jewish man.

[39:48] I mean, he's doing kind of Dracula as Jewish grandma, basically.

[39:55] It's Dracula by way of Uncle Leo from Seinfeld, you know, with more of the...

[40:00] country and do you think do you think Adam Sandler signed up to do that movie

[40:03] because they're like it's called a Hotel Transylvania he's like perfect all my

[40:06] movies are an excuse to go on vacation with my friends they're like nobody

[40:10] tells a trip to Transylvania with Kevin James David Spade and Chris Rock and

[40:14] they're like um well they took they took an eight-person trip to a recording

[40:19] studio in Maui yeah how many monsters are in the joke over think there is a

[40:28] there's a good deal of cosplay it's got the one of the ways the one of the

[40:34] catchphrases I used to try and sell it is it's a comedy music festival stuffed

[40:40] together with comic-con dropped onto a cruise ship so there is you know it's a

[40:45] bunch of happy nerds on a boat having fun and so as such there is a lot of

[40:49] cosplay people I'm trying to think if there are any particular monsters we

[40:54] have had a couple of couple of years running we've had a zombie lurch like

[40:59] from from the upstairs buffet down to like a dance a dance floor several decks

[41:06] down so it's interesting to see this some zombies taking the elevator versus

[41:10] some lurching down the stairs yeah it is fun it is fun to watch the zombies

[41:14] lurch around I will say I will say this I probably shouldn't mention cruises and

[41:18] kovat in the same sentence but I'm going to because we had a cruise right on the

[41:22] on the eve of kovat and this is back when everybody thought that it was just

[41:26] all about washing your hands and that was all you have to worry about and so

[41:29] everybody was obsessively washing their hands on this cruise and all the staff

[41:33] had was stationed basically at every doorway with a little pump bottle of

[41:37] hand sanitizer and my favorite my favorite moment from that was watching

[41:41] the zombie lurch happen and as they were into the dining room they would all stop

[41:46] their zombies would all stop in front of the hand pump and keep going because

[41:52] they're very compliant very compliant don't want infection it's like in a dawn

[41:58] of the dead they seem to do what they did while they were alive

[42:04] hey speaking of Adam Sandler and boats our next film is also an Adam Sandler

[42:11] movie his first is film debut it's going overboard from 1989 also featuring

[42:18] Billy Bob Thornton and King of Boats Billy Zane

[42:26] according to IMDb the struggling young comedian takes a menial job on a cruise

[42:31] ship hoping for his big chance to make it in the world of cruise ship comedy

[42:35] the director and co-writer Valley Valerie Bryman didn't do much but her

[42:41] next film was Bikini Squad sounds good I just want to highlight that apparently

[42:47] originally this was released regionally as the unsinkable Shecky Moskowitz that

[42:54] was in 89 it remained in second-run theaters until 90 when it made its TV

[42:59] debut in June on up all night yeah under the title babes ahoy it was released on

[43:09] the US in 95 is going overboard right after Billy Madison was released so

[43:16] cashing in those checks have any of you seen I going over I have not seen the

[43:23] movie I went and and perused the IMDb entry and watched the trailer and it is

[43:30] absolutely as atrocious as you would imagine this movie would be I read you

[43:35] know and the the famously accurate IMDb trivia section yeah that apparently this

[43:40] movie was three months from initial conception to completion and they said

[43:45] it was Wow it was filmed in something like six days and then two days of

[43:50] reshoots and just do that yeah we could just do our own bikini adventure I mean

[43:58] to be honest we could do that I don't know that we should but that is it's like

[44:02] it's like it's a it's a crazy dream but we definitely certainly could do that if

[44:06] we needed we could make a shitty movie in a very short amount of time we could

[44:14] walk down the middle of the street and challenge a Mack truck to a joust yeah

[44:18] that's not a great idea but I'm looking at this cast list now and also more more

[44:23] stars that this movie also features Peter Berg who would go on to make

[44:27] Friday Night Lights and Battleship yeah and the and also Stuart in a in a I

[44:36] assume a small role Adam Rifkin creator of the Invisible Maniac no that's great

[44:41] yeah and is he going by Adam Rifkin or is he going but what's his his it's like

[44:46] man he has like yeah he's a nom-de-cours for Riff Coogan yeah I knew it wasn't

[44:57] right but I was like Dex McCool yeah going overboard I've seen it so is Joko

[45:08] Cruz also and Chandler's for Joko Cruz let's let's just say everybody wants to

[45:13] break into cruise ship comedy that's yeah that's like the pinnacle the

[45:17] pinnacle of being a comedian a successful comedian is doing it on a

[45:20] cruise ship they've said many times you become a headliner then you go on Carson

[45:24] then you get your one-hour special then you get to be on a cruise yeah I will

[45:30] say that the Joko Cruz lasts longer than principal photography for the movie

[45:35] going overboard so moving on to ghost ship 2002 great opening that great

[45:45] opening where a bunch of people get sliced that was like peak era where

[45:50] horror movies like to slice people in half and then you slowly watch them fall

[45:54] apart like nobody they broke the mold after that it's about some people who

[46:05] find a ghost ship it's directed by Steve Steve Beck who previously did 13

[46:10] ghosts and was a visual effects art director for ILM where you did work on

[46:15] the hunt for red October Indiana Jones the last crusade in the abyss and he was

[46:21] also known from songs right back

[46:28] quit reminding me you know it's got Gabriel Byrne and Juliana Margulies

[46:33] here's here's a fascinating bit of trivia from from the web Warner Brothers

[46:39] in association with hollywood.com sponsored a sweepstakes to promote the

[46:43] film applicants can air for the chance to win the grand prize dub the ghost

[46:48] ship prize package of promotional merchandise containing one ghost ship

[46:53] baseball hat one spinning skull mug one ghost ship shower CD player and the

[46:59] ghost ship soundtrack the runners-up would receive just the hat and mug so

[47:06] Gabriel Byrne just got a hat poor guy now here's my question poor guy he's the

[47:13] star of cool world Dan I was gonna I was gonna ask if anybody here had seen ghost

[47:20] ship but maybe more more accurately the question is as anybody here remember

[47:24] anything about ghost ship beyond that opening five does anyone I'm question

[47:31] whether actually the remaining 85 minutes of that movie actually exist

[47:35] yeah I mean I yes I definitely watched all of it and I can only remember that

[47:41] very memorable opening once you've once you've once you've launched that once

[47:47] you've cut everybody in half it feels like that's the punchline to the joke

[47:50] that is the movie what else is there to talk about then they start seeing the

[47:54] ghosts and then they say I wonder why there are ghosts and then the one of the

[47:57] ghosts is like we were all cut in half that's pretty much it I think we can all

[48:03] agree the opening should have been they get sliced in half and right before they

[48:06] slip apart one of the people is like pretty sticky situation huh I will say

[48:16] this guys I have seen I'd remember more of the 1943 movie the ghost ship which

[48:22] was a Val Luton produced movie which also is not really much of a horror

[48:26] movie and it's just a more about like a crew going mad on a ship and there's not

[48:30] really ghosts on it but there's this what this one character who can't talk

[48:34] he's mute and they have hit he has these voiceovers that are dubbed over and was

[48:38] like they say everything they wish but I I cannot speak for I am mute I cannot

[48:45] communicate and it's just and it's just over this overwrought writing about the

[48:49] curse that he suffers under so and during those narrations is he like

[48:54] throwing himself on all the nearby scenery no he's just kind of looking at

[49:00] things and oh and then he gets cut in half did I mention no I think so this is

[49:05] crushed by a giant chain in it I don't think anyone I don't remember family

[49:09] gets cut in half or not so I've got one last famous crucial very very quickly

[49:15] before you do that oh there nobody gets bisected by a wire or any other means on

[49:20] Joko Cruise I made a mental note before even starting this podcast that I was

[49:26] gonna point that out I'm glad if anyone does get cut in half it takes them so

[49:30] long to realize it that it's days or weeks later they're not even on the ship

[49:34] a week later there was that there was that one time when you had the the

[49:43] samurai sword expert and he accidentally cut someone's head off but they didn't

[49:46] even realize until they later when they turned their head and it fell right off

[49:49] their body and at that point they're like they've always wanted to see a cut

[49:53] like that for it to happen from their own head it's how ironic yeah yeah the

[49:57] best way to die was for their head to turn around in

[50:00] there and see the cut as it fell to the ground and then consciousness left it yeah um there's

[50:06] one last movie then i'm gonna you know give us maybe a last thought discussion question to tie

[50:12] it up but uh we got here i don't know it's been a pretty focused conversation up so yeah alvin and

[50:18] the chipmunks colon chipwrecked 2011 uh it's a great you know what you go to the series for a

[50:28] great sub sequel subtitles you got the squeak well and you got chipwrecked yeah actually yeah

[50:33] i'm i'm a little bit of a hater but i gotta you know give credit where credit yeah yeah

[50:40] imgb summarize it summarizes it thusly playing around while aboard a cruise ship the chipmunks

[50:46] and chipettes accidentally go overboard and ended up marooned in a tropical paradise

[50:52] and this is directed by mike mitchell but not that mike mitchell not mike mitchell from the

[50:58] no no this is the this is the director of deuce bigelow male gigolo and uh the lego movie part two

[51:02] michael featured actor on peacocks killing it not that guy no this is the director of

[51:10] since you said the deuce bigelow male gigolo i want to balance out by saying that he also

[51:16] directed sky high which is pretty good i like sky high i've actually never seen it i've heard

[51:20] good things about it jenny slates film debut is chipwrecked by the way that's the other piece

[51:25] of trivia i have down here that was back when she just played kind of like weirdos who would

[51:29] show up and yeah yeah i suppose uh and i suppose now she's she plays weirdos who are like have

[51:36] larger roles in the movies and uh and uh and continued david cross's commitment to the alvin

[51:42] and the chipmunks franchise yeah yeah yeah he's quoted as saying this was like the worst experience

[51:48] in his career and like on the one hand that may be true and like i sympathize that even within like

[51:56] a great career you know you can have painful things and people shouldn't like scoff at that

[52:01] on the other hand i'm like yeah but you're getting paid out of the chipmunk's money like what do you

[52:06] want like i'm sure i'm sure he gave the money back afterwards yeah yeah he said i didn't enjoy

[52:10] this and therefore i didn't give the performance the fans deserve so i shouldn't i don't deserve

[52:14] to be paid for it yeah right that's exactly right i have not seen any of these alvin and

[52:19] the chipmunks movies have any of you seen any of these i haven't seen it i assume it's i mean

[52:23] it's basically a triangle of sadness but with chipmunks yeah i can now i want to see it

[52:30] i have not seen them i have to here's the thing though when a person gets shipwrecked on a on a

[52:34] deserted island it's what what what happens when they get shipwrecked on a desert yeah

[52:39] when they get chipwrecked it's even worse when when when chipmunks get get chipwrecked on an

[52:46] island it doesn't bother me quite as much because they're already wild animals

[52:50] food and whatever right right well like domesticated chipmunks they're not

[52:56] yeah they do form a new societal structure based on skill set and it gets pretty brutal

[53:03] you have to imagine that half the movie is them trying to kill theodore to appease their new god

[53:08] the island and they've stolen simon's glasses to light fires with and things like they're

[53:14] arguing over who gets to talk who's holding the conch yeah and the conch is huge none of

[53:18] them can hold it they're chipmunks yeah they can't hoist the pig head onto a

[53:23] steak because no they live in it it's a house yeah they live in a pig head house

[53:29] so i just want to ask before we leave this sounds like a an animal house ripoff from like the early

[53:36] the mid 80s yeah that's true that's the asylum productions oh it's also a real good like cookie

[53:43] monster metal album title yeah frog rock but yeah i've already got that one um i wanted to ask so

[53:50] thinking about all these movies together is is there something that makes something

[53:55] a cruise ship is is there a cruise ship genre or is it merely a location are there elements that

[54:00] you think reoccur in these things well usually i mean the canon states that in order for it to

[54:09] fall within the genre there has to be two ships have canons the good ones do yeah only the ones

[54:15] that don't want to be attacked by pirates yeah in order for it to be truly a proper

[54:19] cruise ship piece of entertainment there has to be love it has to be exciting and new

[54:25] oh yeah do they have to be expecting us well yeah you have to be expected uh and and it's

[54:33] always making another run like that's the thing like every week they just turn over

[54:37] no matter what fabulous stories have happened no matter how many times charro is aboard

[54:42] right the next another run there's another run coming down the pike years ago we went on a cruise

[54:48] years ago i went on a princess cruise to alaska and they there was a channel that just constantly

[54:53] played love boat episodes because i guess that's like a connection there they have the the i want

[54:58] to see a love episode now where charro is aboard just like like there's an infestation like she's

[55:03] she's in the vent she's in the ducts in the vents they can't get her out the tribbles

[55:10] the ship has charros the passengers cannot know that we have charro on board like they cannot

[55:14] know they have to clean up her scat and things like that you know she's getting into the pantry

[55:21] and chewing holes and in a in bags of flour and stuff like that yeah her saliva just melts through

[55:26] the metal hull oh yeah they follow it straight down deck after day yeah no run what coochie

[55:33] coochie i would argue i would argue dan that the the that cruise ships are kind of a genre but maybe

[55:41] more a family of related genres it feels like there are comedy cruise ship movies there are

[55:46] disaster cruise ship or you know like a danger cruise ship movies and there's romance cruise

[55:52] ship movies and i feel like those are the three in my mind the three types of cruise ship movies

[55:56] either a cruise ship is a place where dangerous things will happen because you are far from land

[56:02] and far from help or it is a place that exciting and funny or sexy things will happen similarly

[56:07] because you're in you're in the water away from land the rules don't apply the same way people

[56:12] are in close quarters it's kind of similar to spaceship movies in a way i i also think that

[56:18] you know trying to answer the question a little more seriously to uh like i

[56:25] class elements are often in cruise ship films uh because certainly in the most famous cruise

[56:30] ship ever made movie that you didn't mention at all titanic which means the abyss yeah

[56:35] we should movie the abyss underwater underwater cruise ship it's a working job that's a working

[56:41] trip titanic triangle of sadness you know i mean like i think it's interesting because you know in

[56:48] this modern world like cruise ships aren't like sort of the vastly unattainable vacation they once

[56:54] were but like i think certainly uh you know like if you're talking about a high-end cruise or

[57:01] the you know like older films a lot of these issues come up there's certainly a luxury aspect

[57:05] to a lot of the classics like and especially with the romance uh tinged ones like a fair

[57:11] to remember or lady yeah such there's a certain amount of time spent kind of um

[57:17] just letting the audience live the the dream of being on a on a fabulous like um gentleman for her

[57:22] blondes has a bunch of crude stuff ship stuff on it too right because there's that great moment when

[57:26] i think it's on a cruise ship when they sit next to the the kid and he makes some comment

[57:30] and she goes how old are you and he goes old enough to appreciate a beautiful woman

[57:35] funny line coming out of like an eight-year-old or something like that

[57:39] um well before we let you do some final plugs i want to make a couple of plugs which is that uh

[57:48] for whatever reason we're also doing more boat content uh in shocktober one of our movies is

[57:55] going to be uh jason takes manhattan which is mostly actually a cruise ship movie mostly jason

[58:01] takes a boat on its way to manhattan yeah yeah and uh you know one of our la live shows is going

[58:08] to be about speed to the misbegotten speed sequel uh so there's links on our show page for that give

[58:16] me that misbegotten keanu reeves came back for it right no for you

[58:24] something we've got something just as good for you

[58:28] keanu reeves was like it's time for me to be a little selective my career i'm not doing speed

[58:32] too what's this script johnny mnemonic okay i'll try it um but yes uh before we go would you like

[58:42] to do a more full plug for a more formal plug yeah yeah uh i'll start jonathan jump in at whatever

[58:50] point you feel i'm doing it wrong uh so joco cruise is a stop stop yeah just kidding go ahead

[58:57] go ahead i don't want to now uh no no go ahead it's a week-long music and comedy and creativity

[59:06] cruise it's a lot of happy nerds on a boat there's there's uh music performances happy

[59:12] nerds happy nerds yes not the not the sad angry incel type okay yeah uh there's music there's

[59:18] comedy there's podcasters there's authors there's uh a whole bunch of self-run events

[59:27] everything from crafting to dance lessons to meetups and bars to compare uh tattoos see

[59:35] there's tattoo nerds there's lots of different types of nerddom dan uh in any case it's it's

[59:40] happening anyone the next one happens march 9th through 16th 2024 uh it's uh it's a great time

[59:49] and i'm not just saying that because i'm one of the people in charge of it and i have to go no

[59:52] matter what it is it is a great time and you you you you mentioned this

[1:00:00] But one of my favorite aspects of it is that it's a thing we call the shadow cruise, where

[1:00:04] we have enough programming.

[1:00:06] We have more programming than there are hours in the week, just that's official programming.

[1:00:11] And then we give spaces over to the community who build their own stuff.

[1:00:15] And it's crazy.

[1:00:17] It's crazy to watch what they what they put together and just very exciting.

[1:00:20] I've seen I've seen like handbell choirs and ad hoc a cappella groups and knitting circles

[1:00:27] and ad hoc Hamilton the musicals singalongs and it's just you just walk down the walk

[1:00:34] down the hallways of the ship and and overhear all these things going on in all these rooms.

[1:00:40] It's just how many hours Paul was it?

[1:00:42] I think we did a calculation when you're how many hours of entertainment were there?

[1:00:46] There were I don't remember which year this was.

[1:00:50] It was either this past year or the year before we had peaked at something like five hundred

[1:00:56] eighty something hours of actual programming.

[1:01:00] If you don't count things like, you know, lunch and dinner, but of actual events of

[1:01:05] official events and shadow cruise events on board, I think it was I think it was that

[1:01:10] high.

[1:01:11] It's a lot of stuff going on all over the ship, pretty much at all times.

[1:01:15] And also very, very few vampires, though, no, no, no, no, not zero, not zero, not zero.

[1:01:21] I mean, it's the Caribbean.

[1:01:23] You're going to run into a couple of vampires, but they're going to be those fun vampires

[1:01:27] They're not the dour Eastern European vampires.

[1:01:29] These are vampires.

[1:01:30] They're not afraid to kick back, let loose, you know, yeah, they don't get some raise

[1:01:34] and combust.

[1:01:35] They're Jewish.

[1:01:36] Jewish grandpa vampires.

[1:01:37] These are Jewish.

[1:01:38] Jewish vampires.

[1:01:39] I mean, which literally is, I guess, Grandpa Lewis from the monsters like we've reinvented

[1:01:48] the wheel.

[1:01:49] Well, I'd like to thank you guys for being here.

[1:01:55] Thank you, Paul.

[1:01:57] Thank you, Jonathan.

[1:01:58] Our pals from songs.

[1:01:59] And many more songs to come.

[1:02:00] And many more boats to come, I hope.

[1:02:01] And many more boats.

[1:02:02] Yes, indeed.

[1:02:03] And for the one amazing scoop that would have been it, John, if you were like, I'm retiring

[1:02:04] from songs.

[1:02:05] I'm announcing it now.

[1:02:06] Thanks to our producer, Alex Smith.

[1:02:07] You can find him under the name HowlDotty online.

[1:02:08] Thanks for our network, Maximum Fun.

[1:02:09] Check out their other great shows.

[1:02:10] And we'll see you next time.

[1:02:11] Bye.

[1:02:12] Bye.

[1:02:13] Bye.

[1:02:14] Bye.

[1:02:15] Bye.

[1:02:16] Bye.

[1:02:17] Bye.

[1:02:18] Bye.

[1:02:19] Bye.

[1:02:20] Bye.

[1:02:21] Bye.

[1:02:22] Bye.

[1:02:23] Bye.

[1:02:24] Bye.

[1:02:25] Bye.

[1:02:26] Those were some great shows.

[1:02:27] But for the Flophouse, I have been Dan McCoy.

[1:02:29] I'm Stewart Wellington.

[1:02:30] I'm Elliot Kalin, and we've been joined by...

[1:02:34] Jonathan Fulton.

[1:02:35] Ah, we screwed up.

[1:02:36] Goddammit.

[1:02:37] We're so close, they finish each other's name sentences.

[1:02:40] We're not part of the well-oiled machine that is the Flophouse.

[1:02:44] That's right.

[1:02:45] The error-free extravaganza.

[1:02:47] I was expecting a bird, but instead, he gave us a really nice compliment.

[1:02:51] That's cool.

[1:02:53] In any event, I'm still Paul Saborin.

[1:02:55] Bye!

[1:02:56] And I'm still Jonathan Kolton.

[1:02:57] Oh.

[1:02:58] I ruined it again.

[1:02:59] Well-oiled.

[1:03:00] Wellest-oiled machine.

[1:03:01] Stuck the landing.

[1:03:02] Yeah.

[1:03:03] Signing off.

[1:03:04] Oil can!

[1:03:05] Bye.

[1:03:06] Bye.

[1:03:07] Maximum fun.

[1:03:08] A worker-owned network.

[1:03:09] Of artist-owned shows.

[1:03:10] Supported.

[1:03:11] Directly.

FH Mini 90 - Cruising Along, with Jonathan Coulton and Paul Sabourin

Transcript

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