FH Mini 95 - The Best Christmas Podcast Ever

[0:00] Hi floppers before we start our regular nonsense

[0:02] We wanted to make sure you knew the flop house is going on a four-city West Coast tour this January

[0:08] It's the flop house errors tour the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year

[0:14] Probably you can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Rio Theatre in Portland on Thursday

[0:20] January 25th at the Aladdin Theatre in San Francisco on Friday January 26th at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of San Francisco

[0:27] San Francisco Sketch Fest and in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theatre for tickets

[0:33] Go to flop house podcast comm slash events again

[0:36] That's flop house podcast comm slash events the flop house live

[0:40] It's like the podcast but you can smell us and now without further ado our regular nonsense

[0:50] Hey everybody, welcome to the flop house the flop house podcast

[0:55] That is a podcast in which we normally watch a bad movie and then talk about it. But today that's not what we're doing

[1:00] This episode it's an alternate week. So instead we are doing a flop house mini

[1:05] That's where we can do kind of whatever we want. We're not fixed to one specific movie

[1:10] We can talk about a topic we can play a game

[1:13] We can get all the world's problems and I thought I'd like to do a little kids can be a kid

[1:19] It is where kids can be a kid adults can be adults. The elderly can be the elderly

[1:24] Yeah, that covers it. Yeah be yourself, man

[1:26] Yeah, be yourself unless yourself is a dick in which case be a better person than yourself. Yeah, don't don't do that. Yeah

[1:34] So that's what this episode is all about is who are you gonna be Dan got some problems?

[1:38] We're gonna help you make them better

[1:41] That's not we're doing although becoming a better person is in the spirit of the season

[1:46] That's right

[1:46] This mini episode is coming out right before Christmas also known as Xmas

[1:50] And if you're sexy triple Xmas, or if you're Vin Diesel, I guess triple Xmas. So I think yes X versus

[1:58] Sexy

[2:00] Xmas versus sever miss Xmas versus sever. So since it's coming out right before Christmas

[2:05] I thought who better than the only Jewish member of the podcast to take the reins of Santa's sleigh and run the show for the

[2:12] episode

[2:13] right growing up as a Jewish kid, the only way I learned about Christmas was through the movies and

[2:19] TV specials movies and also regular Christmas episodes of shows

[2:24] And the decorations in stores and also the decorations on public city property

[2:29] Oh, yeah, also every song playing on the radio all the time and also the songs they made us sing in school again public schools

[2:36] Funded by yeah. Yeah, basically there was no escaping Christmas, but for the purpose of this episode

[2:41] Let's stick to the idea that movies are what taught me about Christmas

[2:45] guys

[2:47] Here's the thing about Christmas movies. Tell me what tell me

[2:49] What's what are the things that um, you would find in a normal Christmas movie?

[2:52] What comes to mind when I say Christmas movie to you? Well, you gotta have you gotta have a Nakatomi Plaza

[2:57] John McClane

[3:01] You gotta have Shane black behind the camera

[3:04] What what comes to mind like I mean like there's all the normal trappings of Christmas, you know

[3:09] You got Christmas trees and Santa and whatnot. So there's that's when Admiral Ackbar says it's a trap things of Christmas

[3:17] Yeah, I

[3:18] mean thematically what's in Christmas, I mean usually it's

[3:22] You know

[3:24] Someone learns a lesson about something

[3:27] Something I'll tell you what they don't learn a lesson about though unless they're watching

[3:30] I guess that that Charlie Brown Christmas special is they don't tell you much about Christmas

[3:34] They don't tell you much what you're actually tell you what Christmas time is all about Charlie Brown

[3:39] They tell you like that's there's a whole point

[3:41] There's a part where someone gets in the spotlight

[3:44] In that I'm saying in that one thing. Oh, but in most Christmas movies, they do not do that

[3:48] Yeah, there's there's kind of two kinds of Christmas movies

[3:51] The family get together where there's mishaps of some kind the Christmas stories jingles all the way Christmas with the cramps

[3:58] Where's the cranks the cranks?

[4:01] For four Christmases, I assume I've never seen it

[4:04] But maybe at least two of those four Christmases or the Christmas movies with has come down some kind of supernatural force that teaches someone

[4:10] The Santa Claus the family man, I assume elf I've never called on 34th Street. Yeah

[4:16] Yeah, exactly gremlins. There's also now that there is a third kind the Hallmark Christmas movie, but that's its own thing

[4:23] I don't want to get into that. That's like. Yeah. Hallmark is like Monster Island or North Korea

[4:26] It's like a closed system cut off from the rest of the world that follows its own rules. And yeah, I don't want so

[4:32] so

[4:33] Here's the thing and it would be you'd be silly to try and claim that you are some kind of expert on Hallmark Christmas

[4:40] Movies, there are plenty of other other people who are better at that. I know personally

[4:45] There's at least one that I know personally that I'm friends with

[4:48] And so if you have any questions about how our Christmas movies, please direct them to Alonzo Duralde

[4:52] Yeah, don't ask me because I won't know the answer. Yeah, just send him a letter with all your questions

[4:59] Address to the North Pole

[5:02] Where Alonzo lives

[5:04] all year round

[5:06] the it's

[5:07] It seems like Christmas movies are about like these are the things you learn for Christmas

[5:12] It's important to be with your family, right?

[5:13] It's better to be a good person than a rich person that shows up in Christmas movies that Santa is magic

[5:19] That Christmas is some kind of universal force that all people of all religions are buoyed by this time of year

[5:25] It's a general jeer and don't kill yourself. Your life was life had meaning

[5:30] Yes, that's the message tells you your life has meaning and also that suicide rates go up around the holidays

[5:35] That's something that Christmas movies tell us

[5:37] But they're not really about Christmas right by these standards. The greatest Christmas movie of all time is probably Groundhog Day

[5:44] Which teaches you those same lessons, but without all the Christmas crap getting right, right without okay

[5:50] Okay, I mean, there's a Groundhog Day. So you're you want you want to put the Christ back at Christmas what you're saying?

[5:57] It's time to put I don't want to make that's not Christmas it should be Moss Christ we need Moss Christ in these movies

[6:03] Oh, yeah the story so can you guys tell me if I might be wrong?

[6:08] So Christmas is essentially like a worldwide gender reveal party, right? Whereas is that am I wrong?

[6:13] What's the tell me the Christmas story? What's a story of Christmas, sir?

[6:17] I mean, I guess

[6:19] Yeah, I guess they ain't I mean

[6:22] Yeah, I guess she gets the vision right she's like told she's gonna have a son so that kind of is like a gender reveal

[6:30] like I

[6:31] Mean, we're celebrating the birthday, you know. Yeah. So what's up? Who's getting born? Tell me about it. Yeah. Oh, you know my man, Tracy

[6:46] Yeah

[6:48] Thus saith the Lord unto the shepherds somebody stoppeth me

[6:53] There's a dad Joseph

[6:55] There's a mother Mary. I mean the dad is dad is the adoptive father. Of course. God is the is the father father

[7:02] It's not the clearest story. It's Christmas story. Oh, we're gonna pretend like people don't know what the Christmas story is

[7:10] Okay, forgive it let's go yeah, I thought Christmas movies don't really tell you the Christmas story

[7:14] So I for people who need to know it even the movie called a Christmas story. It's not the Christmas story

[7:20] It's just a Christmas story, you know

[7:22] And so I thought let's make a Christmas movie that actually tells the story of the nativity

[7:28] It's got to hit all the tropes of a classic Christmas movie as many as we can shove in but we're gonna tell that story

[7:33] So first okay, and this whole episodes TM the flop

[7:36] I

[7:41] Just realized that we recorded the episode that's gonna air after this

[7:46] Before we recorded this one and that one was the one that explained that I'm hopped up on cold meds

[7:51] So if you're wondering what what's going on, that's part of it

[7:55] Dan is on for next next week. Yeah, and that's why he is making less sense and having trouble remembering what we're talking about

[8:03] and I

[8:06] See what you're doing. Normally his mind is like a steel trap. Yeah

[8:11] It's kind of a rubbery trap which in a way is kind of nice because it doesn't break, you know, like the

[8:17] Bamboo bends, you know, where's the oak tree snaps? Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. This is the time attack talking

[8:25] We get some robitussin talking right now, please please see if you explain your ways

[8:31] So

[8:33] So the first thing we need for Christmas movie is I figure we need a stressed-out adult

[8:38] Who needs a dose of Christmas cheer needs to learn a lesson and I wanted to pitch to you guys

[8:42] What if the Virgin Mary she is a hard-driving career woman. She has no time for her family

[8:48] She has not even had time to have sex with her husband. She is married and still a virgin. She's so busy with her job

[8:53] She doesn't have time for this. What is her job? What do you think her job would be again?

[8:56] This is biblical times, so maybe maybe she runs an art gallery, but it's a bit

[9:01] Yeah

[9:03] Our gallery she I think she works for a magazine

[9:05] Okay, that sounds great or or she's uh, or she's like a book editor or something later

[9:11] Are we just writing baby booms? What's happening? Right? It's Christmas Dan. Oh, it's Christmas

[9:16] Yeah, baby. Boom is the said baby. Boom is maybe the best version of the Christmas story

[9:19] I've seen right like it gets a baby dropped on her. She doesn't know how it happened

[9:24] Has healing powers and outwits the Pharisees at the end the rabbis at the temple, you know

[9:30] That happens a baby. Boom, right? Oh, I remember about baby. Boom is it starts out about as a comedy, you know about this woman

[9:37] Who like this hard-driving career woman who gets a baby?

[9:40] She you know dead what hadn't bargained for and then like halfway through the movie

[9:43] It seems to forget that that's what the movie is about and just sort of turns into like this

[9:47] I think like half romance half office intrigue movie and it's like wait

[9:51] Wasn't this about you getting a baby? Well, that's how we we recently did a live show

[9:58] name

[10:00] There's a, we recently did a live show about three men and a baby, and that's a similar

[10:05] movie where they get a baby and the movie is like, uh, we're not interested in this

[10:08] anymore.

[10:09] What if they were involved in drugs?

[10:10] What if they were drug smugglers?

[10:11] A heroin smuggling plot.

[10:12] Anyway, back to the movie, sorry.

[10:15] Okay, so Mary, she's a book editor.

[10:18] She edits scrolls or tablets, you know, whatever they're, whatever kind of books they have

[10:22] at the time.

[10:23] So wait, is this a period piece?

[10:24] It is very much a period piece, yes.

[10:27] So what, the seventies or yeah, like 70 ad, I mean, Jesus would be an old dead man by

[10:33] that point.

[10:34] Uh, so it's a period piece that takes place in the year zero.

[10:37] Uh, okay.

[10:38] So, uh, so she, so she, she's a job, she's a hard driving book editor.

[10:44] She doesn't have time for a family, even for her own family.

[10:47] Credit sequence.

[10:48] We need a sort of jazzy Christmas theme song to start the movie off.

[10:51] Right.

[10:52] What does this song sound like?

[10:53] It's gotta be jazzy.

[10:54] But it's about Christmas.

[10:55] Uh, it's DJ Jazzy Jeff, the Fresh Prince.

[10:59] We rewrite them.

[11:00] Maybe a little, a little bit.

[11:01] It's still all about Christmas.

[11:02] Okay.

[11:03] All about Christmas.

[11:04] And, and get it, spin us some rhymes, uh, uh, Will Smith style.

[11:08] Well, I'm not going to cause no one will, I will anger the world if I did that, but

[11:14] it should be like, it should be like the Fresh Prince theme.

[11:17] Like they're just, they should explain the biblical story and then you see what you're

[11:22] going to see.

[11:23] Yeah.

[11:24] So God decided he would have a son.

[11:25] By the coming of the living Christ.

[11:26] It got flipped by God.

[11:27] He gave to earth his only begotten son.

[11:28] He said, I better find a woman to give birth to someone.

[11:29] Anyway.

[11:30] Uh, okay.

[11:31] I'll work on it.

[11:32] I'll work on it.

[11:33] Suddenly he doesn't know who this person is.

[11:34] You have to assume God had to find the person first, you know?

[11:35] No, he said, you give birth to someone.

[11:36] I don't know.

[12:04] This is the Christian Bible.

[12:07] He's a loving God.

[12:09] He's like, it's cool.

[12:10] Chill.

[12:11] We're all no worries, as opposed to my God.

[12:12] Who's like, did you do one thing you weren't supposed to?

[12:15] I'm flooding the world.

[12:17] Everyone is dead.

[12:18] Now you have to clean up all this animal poop in a boat.

[12:21] Anyway.

[12:22] What a diva.

[12:23] Yeah.

[12:24] Talk about it.

[12:25] Yeah.

[12:26] Real diva.

[12:27] So anyway.

[12:28] So there's some kind of.

[12:29] So we've got the song.

[12:30] That's great.

[12:31] She's like, my life is perfect.

[12:32] I've got everything I needed.

[12:33] I don't need to worry about.

[12:34] She's from the big city.

[12:35] Which is what?

[12:36] Like Bethlehem.

[12:37] Bethlehem.

[12:38] Yeah.

[12:39] Right.

[12:40] Yeah.

[12:41] I mean, it was kind of a backwater city, I guess.

[12:42] But, you know, Jerusalem's the big city.

[12:43] Maybe that's it.

[12:44] She's in Jerusalem.

[12:45] She's got to go back to Bethlehem to visit her family.

[12:47] And that's that's when she's like, oh, I'm dreading seeing my family for the holidays,

[12:51] which in this case would be Hanukkah.

[12:52] There's no Christianity yet.

[12:54] And she's like, oh, I got to go back to my my.

[12:59] And you know what?

[13:00] Maybe she's not married yet.

[13:01] Maybe Joseph is like her old crush who still lives in Bethlehem.

[13:04] He's a carpenter.

[13:05] He's a carpenter.

[13:06] See, that's the thing.

[13:07] Yeah.

[13:08] Guy.

[13:09] Yeah.

[13:10] You know, maybe he's got a little stubble.

[13:11] Yeah.

[13:12] Oh, for sure.

[13:13] A lot of stubble.

[13:14] Not a lot of, you know, working razors.

[13:17] I don't know how they shaved with like a seashell or something.

[13:20] I don't know how they would have done it.

[13:21] Yeah.

[13:22] They used it like the birds and that that would be the tongue of a fucking dinosaur's

[13:28] tail and a beard like scissors, the beaks that would be it's a living, you know.

[13:37] So they so she's she's got it.

[13:39] So she's she's a book editor in Jerusalem.

[13:41] She's editing, you know, the well, the time it's not written yet.

[13:43] I guess she's editing with the Dead Sea Scrolls or something.

[13:47] And she's like, oh, I got to go back home for Hanukkah to Bethlehem.

[13:52] This is going to be a nightmare.

[13:53] Then we get the the jazzy song.

[13:54] She shows up and then there's going to be some kind of vaguely supernatural force that

[13:59] gets involved in her life and throws things upside down.

[14:02] Now, would this be is there like a magic wishing star?

[14:04] I know there's some kind of magic star later in the story.

[14:07] Is it a pre-Jesus Santa?

[14:09] Is it I mean, in the original story, it's an angel.

[14:12] You were saying or something.

[14:13] Right.

[14:14] An angel visits her and tells her she's going to give birth to a son.

[14:19] And now there's one of those like crazy angels.

[14:21] It's like all legs and eyes and wings.

[14:23] There's two ways we can go that it can either be that the real person, you know, where it's

[14:27] all OK.

[14:28] Three ways.

[14:29] We're going to be Chris.

[14:30] He tells him, tells her in the through some street magic that that or it's her angel is

[14:35] like the gay best friend.

[14:36] This is like the like Billy Porter character in the in the in the movie.

[14:40] You know, it's like a real sassy attitude.

[14:42] That would be classic.

[14:43] Yeah.

[14:44] Yeah.

[14:45] That would be classically problematic.

[14:49] So or maybe it's maybe we split the difference.

[14:52] It is a it's a it's this bizarre creature of wings and eyes and fire that can do magic

[14:57] like Criss Angel.

[14:58] But sassy.

[14:59] Exactly.

[15:00] Like, hey, girl, you got some trouble coming up and she's like, ah, ah.

[15:04] And so what an angel tells her what you're going to you're going to bear the son of God

[15:07] or something.

[15:08] Yeah.

[15:09] Yeah.

[15:10] What?

[15:11] Jeez, Louise, I feel like it's not like this isn't a story that I heard.

[15:16] Parents are going to read your parents.

[15:19] Your dad is a minister of some kind.

[15:21] So he was a minister, then a professor of theology.

[15:24] The thing is, like, I know the broad outlines of the story very well.

[15:29] But like when we get into specifics, then like I start worrying that I'm going to say

[15:32] something wrong is the problem.

[15:34] It's OK.

[15:35] I mean, again, this is a movie.

[15:36] We're adapting the story and it could be.

[15:38] Yeah.

[15:40] We have to be close to it again.

[15:41] The movie is made a version of The Scarlet Letter with that had a happy ending where

[15:44] they escape an attack by a native tribe and they live happily ever after, which is very

[15:48] good in the original.

[15:49] Yeah.

[15:50] So don't feel like we need to be.

[15:51] I mean, also, you know, close to Joe.

[15:53] We just want to get people that more so what does she do?

[15:55] Does she like sit on a toilet seat or something and get there's four gospels, right?

[16:00] God used the toilet before part of the issue is there's four gospels.

[16:05] I think only three of them have the birth story.

[16:08] And, you know, there's accounts very, you know, three witnesses.

[16:12] They tell different stories about what happened.

[16:14] I mean, they didn't actually witnesses passed down by that point.

[16:16] But anyway, I think one of the gospels is more contemporaneous.

[16:20] But for the most part, it's just like three tellings of it's like a Rashomon will turn

[16:24] into Rashomon.

[16:25] We'll make it a Rashomon.

[16:26] Yeah, I would say the cool thing is that, Dan, you could just tell us whatever and we'd

[16:30] be like, oh, wow.

[16:31] Really?

[16:32] OK.

[16:33] Yeah.

[16:34] I mean, I don't know.

[16:35] I didn't learn this stuff when I was a kid.

[16:36] OK.

[16:37] What if this is a different idea?

[16:38] We call it Rashomon and the three different gospel writers are arguing with each other

[16:42] over how things happened.

[16:44] And there's no answers.

[16:46] We don't know for sure.

[16:47] Yeah.

[16:48] Or maybe I don't know.

[16:49] Maybe that maybe there's four.

[16:50] And like, I know that like in some they've got the Kings, others no Kings.

[16:54] You know, Dan, you have become a one man Rashomon.

[16:57] I cannot tell what what I should take on faith from you and what you know what I often think

[17:01] of myself as one man Rashomon.

[17:04] He calls himself even to myself.

[17:07] I'm like, some days I act like this, but some days I act like this and they don't seem to

[17:11] be the same person.

[17:12] So what's going on?

[17:13] Mild-mannered Dan McCoy, comedy writer by day, by night becomes Rashomon Howard, confused

[17:19] people with conflicting tellings of the same story.

[17:22] Rashomon, you defeated the straw man.

[17:25] This is a character will show up in the other episode recorded today.

[17:27] Rashomon, you defeated the straw man.

[17:29] How'd you do it?

[17:30] Well, one way I might have done it is like this.

[17:33] Perhaps it happened like this.

[17:34] Rashomon, how did you get these powers?

[17:36] Well, I was bitten by a radioactive of radioactive VHS of Clue that all of the endings.

[17:46] So maybe I wasn't or maybe I slept on a choose your own adventure book.

[17:51] There's so many different ways it could have happened.

[17:55] So how does it turn?

[17:56] So this angel, the sassy angel tells Mary, you're going to bear the son of God's a girl.

[18:01] And she's like, oh, no.

[18:02] How is this going to turn her life upside down?

[18:04] Does she have a big project coming up?

[18:06] Is she up for a promotion?

[18:07] Yeah, she's up for a promotion, right?

[18:10] Dan?

[18:11] Yeah.

[18:12] Promotion to head scroll writer.

[18:15] Well, I mean, like, she has to go to what, Judea to wait, no, no, they have to go from

[18:24] Judea to Bethlehem to for the census.

[18:28] So she's in Bethlehem.

[18:29] She went there.

[18:30] We talked about that.

[18:32] Yeah.

[18:33] But but that's where the birth goes.

[18:34] OK.

[18:35] Yeah, exactly.

[18:36] OK, well, somehow we've managed to make it that she ends up in the place where the story

[18:40] has to happen.

[18:41] Oh, OK.

[18:42] I thought I thought you were looking for an upheaval that would necessitate this move.

[18:47] But no, you're saying the moves already have the moves already happened.

[18:50] She's gone to her hometown.

[18:51] She ran into Joseph, her old world crush, who's a hot carpenter.

[18:56] Maybe there's an old friend of hers who's like, Mary, oh, you know, you changed a lot

[19:00] since you went to the big city.

[19:01] And she's like, oh, yeah, I don't have time for this.

[19:04] Exactly.

[19:05] I don't have this.

[19:06] I'm supposed to be proofreading these Dead Sea Scrolls so we can get them into the markets

[19:10] like a famous a famous rabbi has a book that I need to get.

[19:13] I need to get for my next project.

[19:14] Yeah.

[19:15] I'm going to be promoted to it to judge because they had judges back then.

[19:18] Oh, they wrote a whole book about it.

[19:21] Yeah.

[19:22] And they wrote a book about kings, too.

[19:24] This book about kings also.

[19:27] The so so first she has to deny the call, right, what Joseph Campbell would call the

[19:32] rejection of the call.

[19:33] But that's going to make things worse.

[19:34] So how does saying, no, I'm not going to give birth to the son of God, how does that complicate

[19:39] her life?

[19:40] Is she already showing signs of pregnancy?

[19:42] All of the Santa Claus?

[19:43] Yeah.

[19:44] I see.

[19:45] Like, that's what I was imagining, like a wacky sort of montage where she's like trying

[19:49] to, like, push her stomach back in.

[19:52] Uh huh.

[19:53] No.

[19:54] Like, no.

[19:55] Like Titane?

[19:56] Kind of?

[19:57] Yeah.

[19:58] Yeah.

[19:59] Like a funny version of it?

[20:00] Oh, T-Ton's pretty funny!

[20:02] Yeah, he is.

[20:04] I mean, like this...

[20:06] Like in Santa Claus' transformation scenes,

[20:08] you know, like where he tries to shave and his beard

[20:10] comes back. She's, like, denying her

[20:12] pregnancy. She's trying to force herself

[20:14] to, like, she's, like, trying to squeeze a period

[20:16] out to show that she's not really pregnant.

[20:18] Wow.

[20:20] Squeeze a period

[20:22] out. And Hallie's not

[20:24] even here to give you cover.

[20:26] Yeah, yeah.

[20:28] Um, yeah, she's, like, carrying a bunch

[20:30] of prawns.

[20:32] I was gonna say palm fronds

[20:34] in front of her stomach.

[20:36] Yeah, it's like classic sitcom stuff.

[20:38] It's like, oh, grocery bags in front.

[20:40] She's got a giant prawn in front of her stomach.

[20:42] She's got one of those biblical-sized prawns

[20:44] maybe it was left over from a plague or something.

[20:46] Maybe a Leviathan

[20:48] or had babies and they're big prawns.

[20:50] Yeah.

[20:52] It turns into the host.

[20:54] And also, she's trying to rekindle love with Joseph, right?

[20:56] And she's like, I can't have him see

[20:58] that I'm pregnant, right? So that's why she's doing that.

[21:00] Yeah. Okay, this is coming along great.

[21:02] This is really coming along great. I think this movie's gonna be

[21:04] a huge hit. But let's take a break for some

[21:06] ads. Uh, we'll

[21:08] get back to this film. We'll figure out how to wrap

[21:10] this story up. Let's do some ads right now.

[21:12] Let's do it. Um,

[21:14] hey, where are those ads?

[21:16] Here they are in my email.

[21:18] This, this,

[21:20] Alex, cut

[21:22] some of that. Please.

[21:24] You don't want Alex to

[21:26] cut out your eminently quotable,

[21:28] disposable.

[21:30] Or don't. It could be funny. Who knows?

[21:32] Use your best judgment.

[21:34] But the Flop House is sponsored in part by

[21:36] Lume Labs.

[21:38] Our show today is sponsored by

[21:40] Microdose Gummies. Almost as good

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[22:00] I find them to

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[22:14] They're helpful for creative work.

[22:16] They're fun to, occasionally I've

[22:18] had them when I've

[22:20] picked up a pen and paper to draw

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[22:38] Links can be found in the show description,

[22:40] but again, that is Microdose.com.

[22:42] Code FLOP.

[22:44] Today's podcast is also sponsored

[22:46] by Squarespace.

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[23:46] Get online, dude.

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[23:50] a new slogan.

[23:52] We're floating it in now. We're soft

[23:54] opening that slogan. Get online,

[23:56] dude.

[23:58] We've also got some Flophouse stuff to mention

[24:00] before we get back to the big Christmas

[24:02] hit movie that we're talking about.

[24:04] Saturday, January 26th,

[24:06] we've got the final episode of this season of

[24:08] Flop TV. Flop TV, the one-hour

[24:10] TV version of the Flophouse

[24:12] airing live on your computer screen

[24:14] or record it afterwards if you can't make it.

[24:16] That's Saturday, January 6th

[24:18] at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[24:20] We'll be talking about the second worst movie

[24:22] I've ever seen, Nuki. Have you guys seen

[24:24] Nuki before? I've never

[24:26] seen Nuki before. I've never seen Nuki.

[24:28] I downloaded it

[24:30] and had to skim through it for

[24:32] something involving, that's involved

[24:34] with my presentation for this episode,

[24:36] and I was like, even

[24:38] skimming through it, I can tell this is going to be a rough

[24:40] one. Yep, yep, so hopefully I haven't

[24:42] built it up too much, and then Dan will be like,

[24:44] actually, I liked it. It made me cry a couple times.

[24:46] Technically, I think you guys are too hard

[24:48] on movies.

[24:50] We'll be talking about that one. Let's see if the

[24:52] boys, by which I mean Stu and Dan,

[24:54] can get through it. That's Saturday, January

[24:56] 6th. If you can't make it on the

[24:58] day of the live show, then

[25:00] don't worry. Your ticket gets you access

[25:02] to the recording of the show, and if you have a season pass,

[25:04] you have access to all the recordings

[25:06] of all six episodes through the

[25:08] end of January. That's when we're going to take those episodes

[25:10] down, and the reaction has been so good that I think

[25:12] we'll do another season, but we're going to take some time off

[25:14] before we do that. We're going to wait

[25:16] maybe towards the fall. We'll do another one.

[25:18] Thank you so much for your support, everybody. We hope

[25:20] you've been enjoying it, but let's say

[25:22] seeing us on TV on your computer isn't enough.

[25:24] You want to see us in the flesh,

[25:26] just like the Blondie song of the same name.

[25:28] Well, good luck to you. You're

[25:30] in luck if you live in one of

[25:32] four cities on the West Coast. We're going

[25:34] on tour. That's right. At the end of January,

[25:36] it's the Errors Tour. Go to

[25:38] flophousepodcast.com slash events,

[25:40] and maybe you heard about it at the top of this episode,

[25:42] but real quick, January 24th will be

[25:44] in Vancouver, talking about Cobra.

[25:46] January 25th will be in Portland, talking

[25:48] about Cool as Ice. January 26th

[25:50] will be in San Francisco, talking about

[25:52] Gigli, and January 28th

[25:54] will be in Los Angeles, talking about Spawn.

[25:56] It became increasingly inappropriate

[25:58] for me to use that voice for each of the

[26:00] titles, but

[26:02] it's going to be really fun. It's four

[26:04] shows in almost four nights, so we're going to get

[26:06] tired and loopy, and these are movies

[26:08] we've never talked about before.

[26:10] We've mentioned them before on the podcast,

[26:12] but we've never done them. Yeah, I mean, we hang out and

[26:14] talk about Cobra when we're just hanging out.

[26:16] Yeah. I mean, we do, because

[26:18] it's a disease and he's the cure. Isn't that the movie

[26:20] where he cuts up a slice of pizza with scissors?

[26:22] It is indeed the movie where he cuts

[26:24] up a slice of pizza with scissors. Was he

[26:26] auditioning for a fucking job at DeFaro?

[26:28] Yeah,

[26:30] or a Korean barbecue place. They cut things with scissors

[26:32] Yeah, true.

[26:34] That's going to go to flophousepodcast.com

[26:36] slash events. When

[26:38] this episode comes out, there'll be

[26:40] a month until these shows,

[26:42] and so get your tickets. They're going

[26:44] fast. It's going to be really fun.

[26:46] We're looking forward to being on the road again.

[26:48] We're sorry,

[26:50] Seattle. Look, we've been there before. We'll

[26:52] be there again. I hear you

[26:54] out there. There's only

[26:56] so much of us to go around.

[26:58] I can't wait to taste another bite of your

[27:00] delicious slew.

[27:02] Your delicious little slew.

[27:04] Yeah, it's a famous racehorse. Anyway,

[27:06] one last thing I want to mention is this

[27:08] episode will be coming out a little bit forward with the last issue

[27:10] of my comic book series, Disney Villains

[27:12] Hades from Dynamite Comics, issue number five.

[27:14] The final issue comes out right after

[27:16] Christmas. Please pick it up and get the rest

[27:18] of the series if you haven't seen it yet. It's a

[27:20] mythological comedy heist

[27:22] story starring Hades from

[27:24] the Disney Hercules movies. He gets together

[27:26] a bunch of mythological characters to steal

[27:28] the Golden Fleece. It's super fun.

[27:30] I think you'll enjoy it. Please pick it up at your local

[27:32] comic book store.

[27:38] Last week, The Greatest Generation,

[27:40] the comedy podcast about

[27:42] old Star Trek TV shows like

[27:44] Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine,

[27:46] and Voyager just had its

[27:48] 500th episode. And Greatest

[27:50] Trek, the podcast about the new Star Trek

[27:52] shows like Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks,

[27:54] and Discovery just had its 250th

[27:56] episode. So whether you have a task

[27:58] that's roughly 750 hours long

[28:00] or you want to learn about some of the production

[28:02] techniques that go into making one of the greatest

[28:04] franchises in television history,

[28:06] you should give us a try either way.

[28:08] The Greatest Generation and Greatest

[28:10] Trek, the best reviewed, most

[28:12] listened to Star Trek podcasts

[28:14] in the world. They're on Maximum Fun.

[28:18] Cameron Esposito here, comedian and host

[28:20] of Query. Every week I get

[28:22] to interview someone amazing from

[28:24] the LGBTQIA

[28:26] plus community.

[28:28] Some queeros. I chat

[28:30] with them about their lives, loves, careers,

[28:32] and more. I've talked to, you know,

[28:34] giant celebs, Trixie Mattel, Lena

[28:36] Waithe, Teigen, and Sarah

[28:38] Quinn, but also astronauts,

[28:40] reverends, nurses.

[28:42] It's funny, it gets deep, and hopefully

[28:44] it makes you feel like you're part of something.

[28:46] Join me every Monday on Maximum Fun

[28:48] to listen to Query with Cameron Esposito.

[28:54] But now,

[28:56] it's back to making the

[28:58] Christmas classic that I realize we don't even

[29:00] have a title for it. Should we take a break

[29:02] and think of a title for this Christmas movie

[29:04] that tells the story of Christmas in a

[29:06] Christmas movie way?

[29:08] Sure.

[29:10] It's called

[29:12] The

[29:14] Greatest Birthday Ever

[29:16] Told.

[29:18] That's pretty good.

[29:20] That

[29:22] defeats mine, which was Not Your Grandad's

[29:24] Nativity.

[29:26] I wish we could call it Santa Baby,

[29:28] but that should be a movie about a baby

[29:30] Santa Claus, not a baby Jesus.

[29:32] That's probably the third

[29:34] Boss Baby.

[29:36] Honestly, I'm amazed that that's not

[29:38] in development right now. I'm amazed

[29:40] that you didn't just say that

[29:42] and your phone rang because someone

[29:44] sensed that you

[29:46] had said those words out loud and wanted

[29:48] to give you money.

[29:50] The network's called. They need you

[29:52] immediately. They said it's a 4

[29:54] alarm emergency. They need you right now to

[29:56] write a movie about a baby Santa Claus.

[29:58] And I'm like, alright, I'll do it.

[30:00] Yes, I need that health insurance.

[30:02] And the health insurance, that too.

[30:04] Except it's an animated movie, so it's probably going to be Animation Guild instead of Writers Guild.

[30:07] Doesn't pay into our health insurance, no residuals.

[30:09] Ugh, terrible.

[30:10] Okay, anyway, so we're going to need...

[30:12] Okay, so now things are not going great for the Virgin Mary, right?

[30:15] She can't get together with her crush.

[30:18] Her pregnancy... she can't get back to Jerusalem because she can't travel.

[30:23] Joseph wants to be a dad, but he's having trouble.

[30:29] He's shooting blanks, okay?

[30:31] He can't... due to a carpentry accident, he got spikes through his balls or something.

[30:37] And he cannot conceive.

[30:39] So he really wants to have a kid, but he is nervous about bringing that up around Mary because he's interested in her.

[30:45] Exactly, so she doesn't know that she's the solution to his problems.

[30:48] She thinks that he's going to shy away when he finds out that she's pregnant.

[30:51] But she doesn't realize that that's exactly what he wants.

[30:53] That's a much sweeter direction that you went in.

[30:56] That they don't know that they can solve each other's problems.

[31:00] I thought that because he was impotent, he was all the more distressed by the idea of being cucked by God.

[31:06] But I like your way of going.

[31:09] And Dan, honestly, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.

[31:11] If you're going to be cucked by anybody, let it be a big man, God himself.

[31:14] Yeah, it's either going to be God or Yoda or something.

[31:18] It's one of those classics.

[31:22] Yeah, there's no shame to that.

[31:25] I mean, come on.

[31:27] It's God, Yoda, Jabberjaw.

[31:29] I mean, it's all these guys.

[31:31] And if you get to watch, then it's like you're part of it, you know?

[31:34] The Rushmore of alpha males.

[31:37] God, Yoda, Jabberjaw.

[31:39] There's one slot left.

[31:40] Who's going to take up that slot?

[31:42] Yeah, it's open.

[31:43] Somebody can take it.

[31:45] The Noid?

[31:46] No, not yet.

[31:47] He's not there yet.

[31:48] No, he's not there yet.

[31:50] He's still got to work on it.

[31:52] So yeah, he's not worried about it.

[31:55] I Was Cucked by God is a great title for his memoir also.

[32:02] Am I the asshole post?

[32:05] He's like, I don't know if I can stay with this girl.

[32:08] All right.

[32:09] So it's the kind of thing that, to be honest, we don't have to deal with very much.

[32:13] Husbands had to deal with that stuff all the time.

[32:16] Their wives would come home pregnant.

[32:17] They'd be like, oh, well, Zeus came to me in the form of a shower of gold.

[32:21] And the next thing I knew, I was pregnant.

[32:23] Zeus came to me in the form of a swan and attacked me.

[32:26] They had to deal with it all the time.

[32:28] I feel like public opinion is really turned on Zeus these days.

[32:33] Yeah, Zeus is not.

[32:35] He's got a lot of love to give.

[32:37] No, don't even.

[32:39] People are like, look, this is a bad boundaries.

[32:42] No, no, Zeus is a criminal.

[32:43] This isn't.

[32:44] Yeah.

[32:45] Anyway, I'm glad that he's been canceled and that his although his spot is, of course,

[32:49] his Sirius XM radio show is still enormous.

[32:51] It was do by hundreds of millions of people.

[32:53] Yeah.

[32:54] But he feels like he's been canceled.

[32:56] OK, so things are now we're going to need a montage set to a sad Christmas song.

[33:00] Joe Joe Rogan would have loved Zeus.

[33:03] Oh, yeah, we would.

[33:04] Also, this is always lying about his height, telling people he was five foot eight when he's really much shorter than.

[33:08] He would have a fucking barstool sports show so fast.

[33:11] Yeah.

[33:12] Terrible.

[33:13] You're right.

[33:14] He would.

[33:15] It's so the called like Lightning Bro or something like that.

[33:19] So, Dan, what's this sad montage song sound like?

[33:22] It's, you know, Mary kind of looking out of windows longingly, Joseph hammering something

[33:27] and stopping to look up and think, like, what's this song sound like?

[33:32] Well, see it like, you know, I mean, obviously the classics.

[33:36] I mean, there's a lot of classic sad Christmas songs.

[33:38] Christmas is a melancholy time, you know, a little Christmas Christmas song.

[33:43] Christmas time is here from.

[33:45] Yep.

[33:46] That's a sad one.

[33:47] Seems a little inappropriate to this to this situation.

[33:50] But yeah.

[33:51] So that's what I was.

[33:52] What if it was like you would find in a trailer, like a slowed down, eerie version of something

[33:57] where it's like, yeah, the most wonderful time.

[34:04] That's the one where Santa Claus is a Santa Claus, CLAWS.

[34:09] And it's like Freddy, but he's Santa Claus.

[34:11] Yeah.

[34:12] I think that that movie's coming out.

[34:13] Oh, is it?

[34:14] OK.

[34:15] Yeah.

[34:16] Something like that.

[34:17] To make a Santa Claus movie.

[34:18] Either he's a killer or he's a cute cat.

[34:19] What if it's a cute kitty cat?

[34:21] Who kills?

[34:22] That's a great idea.

[34:23] And then it says Mary Katzmiss at the end, you know, and he kills still.

[34:26] Yeah.

[34:27] Yeah.

[34:28] I would love it if it just like kept going back and forth between the premises in the

[34:30] trailer.

[34:31] I don't like the tone of this thing at all.

[34:32] Am I supposed to be charmed or horrified?

[34:35] Yeah.

[34:36] Is this an adorable for the whole family story or am I supposed to be, you know, it's supposed

[34:40] to be taboo.

[34:41] You know.

[34:42] Yeah.

[34:43] This is the dueling banjos of making a trailer.

[34:48] The backstory was the two producers of the film had very different ideas about what the

[34:53] movie should be.

[34:54] So they decided to split it down the middle.

[34:57] They would have alternate days working on the trailer.

[35:00] Yeah.

[35:01] They would create the trailer exquisite corpse style, not having seen what came before.

[35:06] Anyway, it made $14 in theaters.

[35:09] Sorry, go on.

[35:11] Dubbed to Screaming.

[35:13] Dubbed to Screaming.

[35:17] Man, that's what Shudder should be called.

[35:19] Screaming.

[35:20] Anyway.

[35:22] Dan, save it for your tight five minutes about streaming platforms.

[35:26] Yeah.

[35:27] You think I'm going to let a guy named Max into my house?

[35:31] Yeah.

[35:32] I heard he was a hobo.

[35:33] Oh, HBO.

[35:34] Never mind.

[35:37] Love it.

[35:40] Now this is what I wish the mini was about.

[35:42] Was us doing our standard routines on the names of streaming services.

[35:45] So wait a minute.

[35:46] Did you hear this?

[35:47] So HBO Max just became Max.

[35:49] Did Showtime do the same thing?

[35:51] No, it's Paramount Plus presents Showtime.

[35:54] What's up with that?

[35:57] So something big has to happen that forces her to realize she's got to do this thing, right?

[36:02] Is it like she and Joseph have to go on the run or something like that?

[36:07] Does the supernatural thing start to get undone and that causes problems?

[36:11] What do you think is going to happen?

[36:13] I mean if this was the real Bible, then if she denied it, then plagues would take place.

[36:17] She'd be swallowed by a jellyfish or something.

[36:19] That'd be so Christmassy.

[36:20] This was presented to her as sort of a fait accompli.

[36:23] She was like, you're going to have this kid.

[36:26] A fait accompli that's when it's made out of Greek cheese.

[36:28] Ooh, delicious.

[36:29] Now, shouldn't it just be that they're having trouble finding a place to stay?

[36:34] Yes, that's right.

[36:35] You know what?

[36:36] They're at the big Hanukkah party.

[36:38] She goes into labor.

[36:39] She doesn't want to go into labor in front of her family.

[36:41] And she has to give a big speech.

[36:43] I've been lying to everybody.

[36:45] I'm sorry.

[36:47] I'll help you.

[36:48] I'll help you get away.

[36:49] Hide in the manger.

[36:50] They have to hide in the manger because she's so embarrassed and find a place to stay.

[36:53] That's a great idea.

[36:55] And that's the story, right?

[36:56] She's got to find a place to give birth, and they end up in a manger.

[36:59] The hotel is full because of the Hanukkah travel season.

[37:03] And so for the three kings, can we get –

[37:06] And to be honest, it's biblical times.

[37:07] It's not that big a hotel.

[37:09] There aren't that many rooms.

[37:10] Can we get three of the original kings of comedy to be the three kings?

[37:13] I don't know who's still alive.

[37:16] Well, I mean, Bernie Mac was one of them, right?

[37:20] He's gone.

[37:21] Yeah, Cedric.

[37:22] Cedric's one of them, right?

[37:23] Okay.

[37:24] Was Steve Harvey in that?

[37:26] Only one way to find out.

[37:27] Let's look up the original.

[37:28] We're talking about the original kings, not the new kings of comedy.

[37:32] Not the new kings of comedy.

[37:33] You hear that?

[37:34] Matt Coff, winner of funniest comic in New York.

[37:37] You're not in this.

[37:38] You're as funny as Matt Coff, yeah.

[37:39] You're a new king.

[37:40] Wait, when did he win that?

[37:41] I didn't hear about this.

[37:42] Oh, like super recently.

[37:43] Yeah, it was a big deal.

[37:44] You know, he's doing sets at the Cellar now.

[37:47] He's really taking off as a stand-up.

[37:48] Oh, that's great.

[37:49] This is Matt Coff, of course.

[37:50] I mean, it doesn't surprise me.

[37:51] He's a hilarious comic.

[37:52] Friend of the podcast.

[37:53] Friend of the show.

[37:54] He's been a guest way back towards the beginning.

[37:57] A fellow cocaine friend of Josh Gondelman's, right?

[38:00] He started the cocaine bit, and then it got assigned to Josh somehow.

[38:04] And even though I think this is nothing but a pox on Josh's life,

[38:09] I think Matt is a little dismayed that it got taken from him.

[38:14] Yeah, it needs to be his thing.

[38:16] Anyway.

[38:17] Who named him, Matt?

[38:19] Named him what?

[38:21] New York's funniest stand-up presented at the New York Comedy Festival.

[38:25] Oh, I see.

[38:26] Oh, that's great.

[38:27] Okay, we got Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer, and Bernie Mac.

[38:31] Okay, so it's Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, and Cedric the Entertainer.

[38:34] Yeah, we still have them.

[38:35] Three of them are still with us.

[38:37] God willing, when we make this movie.

[38:40] It's a long production schedule.

[38:42] It's not like they've got some fucking tontine or some shit.

[38:45] That would be ghoulish of me to say, Dan, which one do you think is going to go first?

[38:49] Let's not even play that game.

[38:52] Okay, so yeah, the three surviving original kings of comedy are the three kings.

[38:56] Now why do they show up?

[38:57] Why are they there?

[38:59] How does that happen in the story?

[39:01] How does that happen in the original story?

[39:03] Okay, so the shepherds show up because an angel comes to them and tells them, hey, go see this kid.

[39:13] He's the son of God.

[39:14] You're never going to believe this.

[39:16] You're not going to believe what this kid can do.

[39:18] Click here.

[39:20] There's a virgin gave birth to a kid, and you're not going to believe what happened next.

[39:23] What he does next, yeah.

[39:26] No, but the kings, I think that they just were learned men, so they were studying star charts.

[39:31] They're like, oh, the stars say that there's going to be a messiah here, basically.

[39:37] I think so.

[39:38] Sorry.

[39:39] I'm just thinking of this clickbait headline I saw today.

[39:42] Yeah.

[39:44] Lay it on us.

[39:47] Meet Larry Bird's disgusting wife.

[39:51] Why?

[39:53] Why?

[39:55] Meet Larry Bird's disgusting wife.

[39:58] That's horrible.

[40:00] I mean unless he's married to Eva Braun like I don't know who deserves that you

[40:10] know it's a horrible highlight and then what happened when you clicked on it it's very mean

[40:15] yeah I don't I can't I don't want to tell you but needless to say I was shocked yeah

[40:22] if I tell you then you won't click yourself and I gotta respect the game yeah he used to bait you

[40:29] okay so she gives birth to the baby the three kings are there yucking it up they cannot believe

[40:50] they're like you're a virgin what they're telling jokes about that and is this when

[40:54] Joseph and Mary kind of revealed to each other she reveals she loves him and he reveals that

[40:59] he still loves her and he's always wanted a child but he can't have one is this where they

[41:03] kind of talk that out yeah I mean I think that they have to have this you know before the the

[41:09] the miracle happens Joseph has to realize you know maybe he runs to the manger from you know

[41:15] oh so this is the classic run to the airport yeah he took her to the manger she went off the

[41:20] manger and he's got a finder so he's running around checking mangers to see if yeah and and

[41:25] like maybe there's a trail of animals that's following after him he's picking up highway to

[41:30] the manger zone and while she's in labor she's like I can't have this baby because we can't be

[41:40] together because you don't have a child and he's like what but I do want to have a child like that

[41:45] kind of thing right exactly exactly they realize it's all a big misunderstanding maybe they kiss

[41:50] as the baby Jesus looks at them and goes uh-oh or like yeah he gives a little wink or something

[41:55] get a room and they're like we tried bitch there was no room uh they so and I think and that's

[42:04] that's a sweet I think that wink from that wink to the camera from the baby Jesus is a super sweet

[42:09] way to end the movie I don't think you need a bigger climax than that one song now there's

[42:14] going to be an end song over the credits here's the question I think here's the Rubicon we have

[42:19] to cross is baby genius baby genius is baby Jesus gonna rap this song are we gonna have baby

[42:24] Jesus rapping during I I think it should be like when we watched that look he's talking movie at

[42:31] the end she already came out and sang that Christmas song it's Christmas say Noel uh

[42:38] and like while marching around in that Jody way about that one yeah I forgot about that yeah yeah

[42:44] clips of Kirstie Alley and John Travolta edited in but uh yeah and so uh so you're saying something

[42:51] like that so there's a song a song performed by a child performer about Christmas and it's like

[42:57] it's like the Euro dance remix because you want this movie to have global appeal yes okay I mean

[43:02] it's got to be upbeat it's got to be upbeat lots of energy joyous you know and so I think that all

[43:07] fits this Eurobeat dance remix of a of a child performer singing a song about Christmas and

[43:12] Jesus and do we have like then do we have like a montage of snapshots of their life as Jesus grows

[43:18] up ending with him on the cross winking one last time or is that too far we don't we don't get

[43:24] reminded that this baby was born only to die as we all are yeah and then and then says Jesus will

[43:30] return yeah oh yeah well there you go so so we see as you know we see as we see cute things he's

[43:36] changing he's changing his sippy cup water into wine he's he's raising a dead pet that kind of

[43:42] his fish died and instead of flushing it down the toilet he brings it back to life and this is yeah

[43:46] Jesus will return in the passion of resurrection and uh oh yeah so did I forgot did we name this

[43:54] passion happened before he died Elliot come on come on yeah yeah that's what I'm saying he'll

[43:58] return in it that's it's after that I thought we're talking about return is the return anyway

[44:03] oh oh that oh so no that's at the end of the passion of Christ you just say Jesus

[44:07] will return in the res three days

[44:11] they'll say wow that's a tight turnaround between movies I feel like you're going to

[44:15] be cannibalizing off your own box office well we shoot them at the same time as the

[44:19] back to the future movies yeah you shoot them back to uh I apologize to anyone who may we may have

[44:26] offended well not anyone if you're a jerk maybe I don't apologize to you but I want to say you know

[44:32] I grew up in your I grew up in the church I have a lot of respect for the ideals of Christianity

[44:40] even as I have trouble with a lot of house I have a trouble with a lot of organized religion

[44:45] and what uh it gets twisted into but uh no I I hope we didn't offend anybody if we did I do

[44:51] apologize just having some yucks having some fun with the season uh I think there's I think I'm not

[44:57] being Christian myself I do find a lot of beauty and a lot of joy in the in the stories of

[45:02] Christianity and the faith in it and the artworks and things that reflect and represent those things

[45:07] and um I'd be a big supporter if it wasn't for all the bad stuff that that religion has done

[45:15] to my own ancestors and others uh but uh but I this is all in the spirit of good fun the spirit

[45:20] of the season and so I guess if these shadows have offended think but this and all is mended

[45:26] uh you didn't have to listen that's what they say at the end of uh that's what they say at the end of

[45:31] spotlight right that would be great that would be great if that was what happened at the end of

[45:38] midsummer's pip puck came out it's like if these shadows have offended why didn't you leave the

[45:43] exit's right there you didn't have to stay for the whole show losers get out of here snowflakes

[45:49] we've already got your money no refunds groundlings yeah I feel like that's it's not

[45:55] the same that doesn't have the same eloquence as the uh as as when puck says hey if you didn't

[45:59] like the show maybe you fell asleep and you dreamed it all it's not our fault no you know

[46:03] no no no give backs you know yeah same no refunds message but presented a little bit more politely

[46:10] yeah slightly more politely uh slightly politely that's the name of my uh that's the name of my

[46:15] drawing room farce uh okay well uh happy holidays to everybody listening to this it's christmas in

[46:21] a few days if you celebrate christmas i hope you have a great christmas if you celebrate all our

[46:24] holidays i hope you enjoy those holidays if you don't celebrate any holidays enjoy your time off

[46:29] enjoy your time off if you have it i know that everyone doesn't have it but that's true

[46:35] if you're a werewolf and you celebrate the howlidays

[46:38] a lot of things to be thankful for this time of year i know this time of year can also be difficult

[46:43] i hope that if you weren't offended we provided some laughs for you and what can also be a difficult

[46:48] time uh we are hoping to sprend tidings of joy and love and good cheer and what yeah we're hoping to

[46:55] sprint to them and we're hoping to spread joy and love and good cheer and what yeah we're hoping to

[47:03] good cheer and what yeah we're hoping to sprint to them and we uh and we thank you for this year

[47:13] of listening to the flop house i think we have one more episode left before the weird years that oh

[47:17] actually i think two more episodes after this and we have uh something kind of uh special cooked up

[47:24] the friday after this episode this mini drops uh dan and i are going to be hosting a flop house

[47:30] holiday special twitch stream on my uh stewart wellington flop house cat uh twitch channel uh

[47:39] we're going to be live from dan's kitchen uh starting at 9 p.m eastern time uh yep on uh

[47:46] december 29th friday night uh and we're going to be taking questions and they'll be saved on

[47:52] my twitch channel for i don't know like a week or two i don't remember and maybe somebody special

[47:58] will drop by or send us a little message yes maybe yeah still dan still believes in santa

[48:05] i was about to say santa still believes in dan uh which would not be oh he should

[48:12] so thank you everybody for listening thanks for a great year of flop house listening

[48:16] and we are part of the maximum fun network please go to maximumfund.org to check out their other

[48:20] shows or to buy a jumbotron message on our show or to buy some flop house merchandise if you want

[48:25] our producer is alex smith thank you alex for making some kind of shape out of this mess

[48:30] he goes online as howell dawdy he's a very talented songster and podcaster please enjoy his

[48:35] work please if you like this show leave us a positive review five stars or more see if you

[48:39] can add more than five wherever you get your podcasts nothing in the rulebook yeah other than

[48:45] uh stewart and dan will hopefully see you on twitch and join us again next week for the flop

[48:52] house i've been elliot caylan i've been dan mccoy i'm stewart wellington bye

[49:05] maximum fun a worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you

FH Mini 95 - The Best Christmas Podcast Ever

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