Ep. #420 - Madame Web, with Zhubin Parang

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Madam Web.

[0:03] But this time of year, it's more like Maximum Fun Drive Web.

[0:07] I didn't even say Maximum properly.

[0:12] I got, ahead of time, I got confused about what I was doing.

[0:16] Mad Ampsimum?

[0:18] Mad Ampsimum Fun Drive Web.

[0:21] Okay.

[0:30] Hey, everyone, welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:45] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:46] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:47] And I'm Elliot Kaelin.

[0:48] And before we introduce our very special guest for this episode, it's a total mystery to

[0:49] you unless you have read the description of the episode.

[0:50] The title, in fact.

[0:51] The title.

[0:52] I want to try to read it.

[0:53] I want to remind our listeners that it is Max Fun Drive, air horn noise, air horn noise,

[1:00] air horn noise.

[1:01] Pew, pew, pew.

[1:02] Thank you.

[1:03] Should I do the air horn noise?

[1:04] Is that why I'm here?

[1:05] Yes, that's why you're here.

[1:06] You're the Michael Winslow of this episode.

[1:07] Bop, bop, bop, bop.

[1:08] That's a different kind of horn.

[1:09] But it does have air.

[1:10] From now through March 29th, this is the time of year when we celebrate Maximum Fun members

[1:11] and the money that they play for.

[1:12] And it's a time of celebration.

[1:19] noise.]

[1:20] But Tim, this is a time of year when we celebrate Maximum Fun members and the money that they

[1:23] pledge in order to make it possible for us to do this show and feed our families.

[1:28] I'll be telling you more about Max Fun Drive and how to pledge and what bonus gifts you'll

[1:31] get from pledging later in the episode.

[1:33] But if you absolutely, positively cannot wait to get involved with the drive, and pause

[1:38] this episode right now, go to maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:42] You can line up, sign up and re-enlist today for as little as $5 in life as a supporter

[1:47] of us and the Maximum Fun family of podcasts.

[1:50] $5 a month means you're paying only $1.25 per episode.

[1:54] That's how much a comic book cost when I started collecting them in 1992.

[1:57] Speaking of comic books, we're going to talk about Madame Web today.

[2:00] So once you're done at maximumfun.org slash join, come right back because we're about

[2:04] to introduce our special Madame Web-themed special guest.

[2:08] And that guest is, of course, Zhu Minpeng, co-EP of The Daily Show, longtime listeners

[2:14] to Flophouse will know him as Tanzer Silverview.

[2:16] Zhu Min, how does it feel to be yourself for once and not a character on the show?

[2:21] Oh, it feels great.

[2:23] Thank you guys for, I forgot how terrible it is to watch a bad movie.

[2:28] You only put good things in your eyes.

[2:30] It's also the, it's the first day of spring today, which is the Iranian New Year.

[2:33] So I really appreciate you guys making me take one of the most important days in my

[2:37] people's year to come talk about the worst movie I've seen in a very long time.

[2:43] I could be eating sour cherries right now.

[2:45] I could be dancing around the sofa I have seen.

[2:48] I could be other cultural references.

[2:50] I thought this was a Madame Web episode, not a Dune episode, okay?

[2:53] I don't know what all this comes off as.

[2:56] Wow.

[2:57] Wow.

[2:58] That wasn't such a good movie.

[2:59] I'd be very offended by the way you said that.

[3:00] Zhu Min, I mentioned that you are a Madame Web-themed guest.

[3:03] I don't have a fact to back that up.

[3:05] So can you rationalize why you are the guest on the Madame Web episode?

[3:09] Yes.

[3:10] I would also prefer to be bitten to death by spiders than to have watched Madame Web.

[3:16] Well, let me just say the real reason is of course that because it is Max Fund Drive,

[3:21] we're pulling out the stops.

[3:22] This is our equivalent of May sweeps, and everyone has been clamoring for a main feed

[3:28] Zhu Min episode.

[3:29] Zhu Min, for a long time, has been sequestered to our bonus content.

[3:33] If you listen to this and you love Zhu Min, and you're a $5 a month or more donor, you

[3:37] can listen to him do all our role-playing episodes that we did for bonus content.

[3:42] But we wanted to have him back on a normal episode after popular demand.

[3:47] Finally have Zhu Min not as a sort of medieval nobleman or as a rich guy from the 30s or

[3:54] an arrogant dog.

[3:55] Or a dog.

[3:56] Or a dog who kind of takes those same thematic character beats and stretches them way beyond

[4:01] the point of believability or humor.

[4:05] That's why we're talking about Madame Web today, guys.

[4:07] I appreciate you guys cutting me in on 90% of these Maximum Fund profits.

[4:10] Any dollar you guys can raise, most of it will go to me.

[4:14] So I really appreciate it.

[4:15] You can take the boy out of Tanzer, but you can't take the Tanzer out of the boy.

[4:19] Yeah.

[4:20] Zhu Min, who started at The Daily Show at the same time as me and has risen to the highest

[4:25] highs through the ranks, and I have a podcast.

[4:28] I am actually the role of Jon Stewart now at The Daily Show.

[4:31] Wow, yes.

[4:32] He plays Jon Stewart.

[4:33] They didn't actually get him back.

[4:34] No, no.

[4:35] I just play him.

[4:37] I think I do a pretty good job.

[4:38] He's in the makeup chair for hours before every episode.

[4:40] Oh, practical, yeah.

[4:41] It's amazing.

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:43] Oh, boy.

[4:44] What do we do on this podcast, Dan?

[4:45] Well, what we do is we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[4:47] A movie that has been either critically or commercially dismissed.

[4:51] Gone.

[4:52] We see whether we agree, basically.

[4:54] That's a good way of putting it.

[4:56] And we watch Madame Web, a movie that may still be in theaters as of this year.

[5:01] Yeah, it is.

[5:02] Flop out in the aisles.

[5:03] Right.

[5:04] Yeah.

[5:05] And it's also released to streaming, too.

[5:06] So I think it's available.

[5:07] OK.

[5:08] Both.

[5:09] That's actually how I watched it on on streaming, because it allowed me to not just double time,

[5:15] but quadruple time.

[5:16] It's my one.

[5:17] And what is it?

[5:18] It's not fast enough.

[5:19] We should kick you off.

[5:20] Jubin, for listeners who don't know.

[5:21] If you know Jubin, you know that he watches movies at double speed.

[5:22] We call it Jubining.

[5:23] Yeah.

[5:24] Jubining.

[5:25] And it is.

[5:26] I find it appalling.

[5:28] to me.

[5:29] One said to me, Aliens, not a good movie because there isn't music to tell me how to feel in

[5:30] some of the scenes.

[5:31] Yeah.

[5:32] It is a very dull movie when she's just wandering around the halls of the spaceship like she's

[5:33] looking for a phone.

[5:34] She dropped.

[5:35] Not at all.

[5:36] It's scary.

[5:37] A furry phone.

[5:38] A cat.

[5:39] Jubin was like under the skin is great when when you Jubin it just flies by.

[5:40] Yeah.

[5:41] Yeah.

[5:42] Yeah.

[5:43] Yeah.

[5:44] Yeah.

[5:45] Yeah.

[5:46] Yeah.

[5:47] Yeah.

[5:48] Yeah.

[5:49] Yeah.

[5:50] Yeah.

[5:51] Yeah.

[5:52] Yeah.

[5:53] Yeah.

[5:54] Yeah.

[5:55] Yeah.

[5:56] Yeah.

[5:57] Yeah.

[5:58] Yeah.

[5:59] Yeah.

[6:00] Yeah.

[6:01] Yeah.

[6:02] Yeah.

[6:03] Yeah.

[6:04] Yeah.

[6:05] Yeah.

[6:06] Yeah.

[6:07] Yeah.

[6:08] Yeah.

[6:09] Yeah.

[6:10] Yeah.

[6:11] Yeah.

[6:12] Yeah.

[6:13] Yeah.

[6:14] Yes.

[6:15] Just flies by.

[6:16] It's the understanding.

[6:17] Just flies by.

[6:18] Matthieu has actually died.

[6:19] Yeah.

[6:20] Matter.

[6:21] Of.

[6:22] There's a girl is going around and then gets burned to death.

[6:23] So glad I could watch Killers of the Flower Moon, a trim hour.

[6:24] Fifty to say, having watched Madam Webb though Elliott that as some movies may be maybe worth

[6:25] a stop in the book, but I've seen a lot of movies that are usually like movies that are

[6:27] six or seven hours long, like and where I'm like, oh, this is a long shot of something

[6:32] going on.

[6:33] But Madam Webb, you want to soak it all up.

[6:35] There's a lot of there's that's an experience that you want to you want to enjoy at the

[6:38] speed it's intended.

[6:40] Maybe even half speed.

[6:41] Every.

[6:42] Strand of that.

[6:43] Well, I will tell you, there are certain action scenes that I had to slow down to normal time

[6:46] because the editing was so confusing that I have no idea.

[6:50] That's who's where.

[6:51] It was so confusing to watch it.

[6:52] A double.

[6:54] He had to reduce himself to mere normal standard.

[6:57] So before we before we get through it, I saw in the theaters where double speed was not

[7:01] an option.

[7:02] You could yell up to the projector, spin it faster, spin the film through faster.

[7:06] I bet everyone in the audience would have been like, yes, we're on the same side.

[7:09] So, Dan, when you saw this, were you alone in the theater?

[7:12] Because I was alone and the person checking my ticket was like one for Madam Webb.

[7:18] Yes, I it was a pretty empty theater because it was late in the Madam Webb.

[7:24] Run, although not that late because it's still around, but like pretty late.

[7:27] And but there was like a group of four guys who sat fairly next to me.

[7:32] I'm like, oh, these guys are going to be a little too rowdy.

[7:34] They're going to be a little too like we're making fun of Madam Webb.

[7:37] I'm like, look, I understand this late in the run.

[7:40] Everyone knows what Madam Webb is like.

[7:41] Yeah.

[7:42] If you're going to see it for that reason, I get it.

[7:44] Chill out a little.

[7:45] Don't be annoying.

[7:46] They were they were mostly OK.

[7:47] We have we have a mutual friend whose name I won't say because she's famously averse

[7:50] to any kind of publicity.

[7:51] OK.

[7:53] And she, when I saw it opening night, her husband and was saying the theater just had

[7:57] a blast laughing at the movie.

[7:59] I'm sure.

[8:00] And I feel like that was the only context to put it in the movie.

[8:03] But let's talk about the movie.

[8:05] Shall we?

[8:06] I hate to delay it even more, Stuart.

[8:07] But one thing I want to say before we get into the movie is so the writers of this movie,

[8:11] Matt Sazama and Brooke Sharpless, we have covered every single movie that they have

[8:15] had produced on our podcast.

[8:18] And when this movie was out, Matt's filmography was going around on Twitter being like, can

[8:22] you imagine being this guy?

[8:23] And I just want to say he's someone I got to know a little bit on the picket line during

[8:27] the strike.

[8:28] We walked together a lot of times.

[8:29] He was he was very well, very took it well that we had covered all of his movies on the

[8:36] on the podcast.

[8:37] Yeah.

[8:38] Yeah.

[8:39] I was like, oh, this bad movie podcast.

[8:40] Oh, you probably have done one of mine.

[8:41] I'm like, oh, probably not.

[8:42] And then we went through.

[8:43] He just mentioned his filmography.

[8:44] I'm like, we did that one.

[8:45] We did that one.

[8:46] We did that one.

[8:47] And he's he seemed like a really great guy.

[8:48] I really talked to him.

[8:49] And he said, look, these guys are much more talented writers than the finished versions

[8:54] of these films would have it come out.

[8:56] So I want to I want to give them I want to ahead of time be like, don't blame them.

[9:00] Blame the director and the producers.

[9:02] This film clearly went through a Cuisinart before it arrived in theaters.

[9:08] It has been chopped and you look at and you look at Dakota Johnson's interviews and she's

[9:12] like the script that I signed to do is not the script that we ended up making.

[9:16] So I imagine there was originally at some point a good version of this movie or at least

[9:19] a better version of the movie.

[9:20] But I don't blame the writers.

[9:22] That's my rule always.

[9:23] Don't blame the writers.

[9:24] D.B.T.W.

[9:25] Also, just as a writer who has never had any movie that he's written made into a movie,

[9:30] I have nothing but respect for writers who have actually gone through that gauntlet.

[9:32] So, yes, absolutely.

[9:34] You didn't write anatomy of a fall.

[9:36] I did.

[9:37] But I did.

[9:38] But they put another movie with the exact same plot and characters was actually made

[9:42] in title.

[9:43] Yeah.

[9:44] I think it was called The Staircase.

[9:45] Was that the miniseries?

[9:46] Yeah.

[9:47] OK.

[9:48] Mine was just the sound effect that you make when you slip on a banana peel.

[9:51] Zoop.

[9:52] It was the story of that sound.

[9:53] It was.

[9:54] Yeah.

[9:55] But the plot was.

[9:56] Wait.

[9:57] Slip on that banana peel again.

[9:58] Swoop.

[9:59] Got something there.

[10:00] features 50 cents P.I.M.P. in the soundtrack. Okay, so, um, Madam Web, we open in the Peruvian

[10:08] Amazon 1973. We meet a pregnant naturalist who is searching for a spider.

[10:18] Now when you say naturalist, you mean like a scientist who studies nature, not a nudist?

[10:22] Yes. I mean, I don't know what she does outside the context of the frenzy.

[10:26] That's the word you're looking for there. Okay. Yeah. So she is searching for a spider

[10:32] that she believes will cure a lot of diseases and problems and whatnot. She cites a local

[10:39] legend of las arañas, men who have been bitten by this spider and have special spider powers.

[10:45] I want to say that all of this early dialogue is is doing heavy double duty as like exposition

[10:53] like the guy who who's with her who like spoiler alert will become like villainous

[10:58] soon is like a guy named Ezekiel Sims. Yeah, that's not a scary man. Not an evil name of

[11:05] Ezekiel Sims. Yeah. But he says things like, you know, like, oh, that is why you hired

[11:11] me to be your security. Like and I'm like, okay, well, thank you for clarifying your

[11:16] relationship to one another. But he's also I mean, he's from the start. So villainous

[11:20] that it calls into question the judgment of the mom who allowed him to be her security.

[11:25] It's very it's it's it's so it's so bad that when he pulls the gun out halfway through,

[11:32] it's like, well, you should have seen this coming. Yeah. Yeah. Every time he says anything,

[11:37] he starts like twiddling with his mustache. And you're like, oh, do you have to is this

[11:42] a nervous tick? So it is not the best showcase for a Tahar Rahim, the star of a prophet movie

[11:48] that he's much better in. Well, especially since all of his dialogue appears to be 80

[11:53] yard later on. Yes. Well, I had I I was like the whole time I was watching. I was like,

[11:58] did they dub every single thing that he says like it? It's they might have. I don't know.

[12:02] It's great. It's it's amazing. It adds to the like hallucinatory nature. I guess I started

[12:07] just like watching characters lips in this movie after a while to be like, was this the

[12:12] original line or did they change it? Like there's a lot of stuff that's delivered back

[12:16] to camera. But yes. So, of course, she finds the spider. She's very excited. Her her security

[12:22] guard Sims, of course, turns the table, kills the entire team, steals. He like steals some

[12:28] of her research, I think, steals the spider and shoots her. She is then saved by these

[12:33] mystical mythical Spider-Man las Aranhas who take her to a pool, have her bitten by a spider

[12:39] and she gives birth. Boom. Madam Web movie. They seem to speak English better than her

[12:45] than Ezekiel does. Yeah. The guys who live in the Peruvian jungle and have spider powers.

[12:50] You don't you don't know all the abilities of the spiders. But if you may, that's actually

[12:54] let me ask you a question about this, because I the entire time I was just wondering, what

[12:59] is the relationship with Madam Web and Spider-Man? Because I thought, well, I don't want to feel

[13:05] this one before we get too far into this because you were going to maybe. Yeah, I'll talk a

[13:10] little bit about these characters. Here's the thing in in adapting Madam Web for the

[13:14] film. They have drastically changed the character in a way that it's funny because there's two

[13:19] Madam Web's in the comics. There's the original one who is an elderly lady who is blind, who

[13:24] is paralyzed, and she can see the future and because she can see along the web of life

[13:29] or whatever. And she would show up in the comics and basically annoy Spider-Man by hinting

[13:33] at things that were going to happen, but not really tell him what was going to happen.

[13:37] And there was a great two part story where the juggernaut, I don't remember why, wants

[13:41] to kill Madam Web and Spider-Man is pulling out all the stops to try to stop him. And

[13:45] he's way more powerful. It's one of the great two issue Spider-Man stories. There's a second

[13:49] Madam Web that Madam Web eventually goes away. There's a second Madam Web who is the character

[13:55] that Sidney Sweeney plays in this movie. But she kind of took over that role. But she looks

[14:00] like the Dakota Johnson version of Madam Web that shows up at the end of the movie kicking

[14:05] some amazing sunglasses. But we'll get to that. But it's like they took the two versions

[14:11] of Madam Web and combined them while also jettisoning all the backstory of the actual

[14:15] Madam Web. So in the comics, she is an ally of Spider-Man's, but also an irritating ally

[14:21] of Spider-Man's because she'll be like, hmm, the web of life. I feel the strumming along

[14:25] the threads. You should know that danger is coming. And he's like, can you just tell me?

[14:29] Can you just tell me what's going to happen? You know? Yeah, this sounds like I was because

[14:35] I was watching a bad movie last night that Marina Sirtis showed up in. I was complaining

[14:39] about Counselor Troy on Star Trek. Now she was supposed to be the empath on board, but

[14:43] she'd always just be like, he seems angry, Captain. Yeah, he's already threatening the

[14:48] enterprise. What are you doing here? The other thing about Madam Web is that in the comics,

[14:55] she looks the original one looks just like Aunt May. And so when I first started reading

[14:59] it as a kid, I read the issues out of order. I'm like, oh, eventually they'll reveal that

[15:02] this is Aunt May. No, it's just another old lady. The same way that every old lady in

[15:05] the comics looks like Miss Grundy, who also has the same face as Jughead. So it's weird

[15:11] that they're probably together. They probably have a relationship. But I guess people who

[15:15] are attracted to each other sometimes look like each other. That's the thing that is

[15:18] a little weird. The attraction. Yeah. This movie felt like they, for trademark reasons,

[15:24] could not give Madam Web the Spider-Man powers. So they had to go very metaphorical with what

[15:30] a web was. Yeah, I think a little bit. They really extrapolate what what the power of

[15:34] seeing the future can be, such as when she, as we get we'll get to it, splits into three

[15:38] energy beings to save people, which is not not a thing she can do in the comics, as far

[15:42] as I can remember. For trademark reasons, they can't have Spider-Man in the movie. This

[15:46] is, of course, one of the many of the Sony's Spider-Man without Spider-Man Spider-Verse.

[15:52] I'm going to I'm going to tell you. Yeah, he does. He does show up in baby form. He

[15:57] does show up in baby form. That's it. Well, is Spider-Man Peter Parker or Spider-Man the

[16:01] mask? Dan, this is the question we have to ask ourselves. Guys, it's we say the name,

[16:06] though, like like I assume that's also for. Well, why would they say the name? The character

[16:10] doesn't exist yet. You know, you know. No, they don't say Peter like they never said

[16:14] like that. They never say guessing the name and they never say and they say and they well,

[16:18] we'll get to. Yeah, yeah, we'll say we'll get to that stuff. OK, so it is New York 2002.

[16:25] That's right. We're in a period piece, guys. One year before Stuart Wellington moves to

[16:29] Brooklyn. Characters make reference to this. They're like, do you think in a year Stewart

[16:34] will be here? Yeah. Things are about to pop off as they're driving by apartments are like

[16:38] Stuart's going to live there. He's going to live there. So we meet Cassie and Ben, a pair

[16:43] of EMTs played by Dakota Johnson and Adam Scott. Exactly. The actors you want in a movie

[16:50] where they're going to provide a maximum emotion and maximum intensity. And I think they're

[16:54] both they're both great in other things. But they are if they are a they're baffling casting

[16:59] as the two leads in a superhero film. Yes. If this is a movie where the two of them are

[17:03] friends who just can't ever get together until the end. Now, that is a movie that I would

[17:07] watch that. Their relationship is kind of like this. Yes. She's a bit of a commitment

[17:12] foe because because she comes from a foster family. She lost her mother, obviously, in

[17:19] the Amazon. Now that's Australian for beer family. Mm hmm. And he is ex-military, which

[17:26] I don't know if I buy that from Scott. That's OK. Oh, wow. A lot of different people are

[17:30] in the military, Stu. They're not. Yeah, I don't know. I saw him on a jet ski one time

[17:35] shooting piranhas out of the water. OK, OK. I rescind my comment. And he is. He is. Scrub

[17:40] it from the record. He does have two personalities in the same head. And often being in the military,

[17:46] you kind of don't know who you are after a certain point. True. They have a little bit

[17:50] of a flirty chemistry, as mentioned before. Cassie lives alone, although she does feed

[17:54] a stray cat milk every once in a while. I'm like, don't do that. You're going to give

[17:57] it to her. Does her New York apartment have exposed brick walls? Of course it does. She

[18:02] is a sick ass apartment. It's a great apartment. Yeah. That's what I said. They had to set

[18:07] it 20 years ago so that it was conceivable that she could afford that apartment on her

[18:11] salary. We should mention that the earlier version of this script also was apparently

[18:16] set in the 90s, which makes a lot more sense in certain ways, particularly later on when

[18:22] she gets on a plane, even though she's a wanted criminal without any trouble. But yeah, that's

[18:27] true. And right after 2001, that was hard. But Dan, it was set in the 90s. They couldn't

[18:32] have so prominently displayed the song Toxic as they do later. OK, that is also another

[18:37] question I had. Is this like Metal Web Divisions, where she's seeing moments of the future?

[18:43] That's right. Exactly. Yeah. Before we get furthermore, I also had no idea the entire

[18:48] time why this movie was set in 2003. The only reason it is is so that it's a baby Spider-Man

[18:52] can be born. Yeah, I see that baby Spider-Man. Ten thousand percent the reason. That is the

[18:57] reason. Geez. Well, the villain's superpower here seems very it felt like it was like copying

[19:02] like Enemy of the State. It felt like it was copying all of the NSA stuff that. Well, let's

[19:07] let's continue. I mean, that's not really a superpower, but I mean, it's one of the

[19:12] resources he has at his disposal. His superpower is to have that the only thing that has aged

[19:17] about him in that in that 30 years is that his hair has gray tips now. Yes. Yeah. I mean,

[19:22] honestly, I look better and my hair has plenty of gray tips. OK. On the course of her day,

[19:29] she crosses paths with three girls that are going to be important later on in the movie.

[19:34] Maddie, Anya and Julia, played by two actresses who I don't particularly recognize. And Sidney

[19:40] Sweeney, of course, they are going to be important later on. OK. Cassie goes through a box of

[19:47] stuff that she got that she got from her birth mother. Not like not like a Dune pain

[19:53] test gum jabbar type box. This is a pain test. I mean, an emotional pain test. Yeah, sure.

[20:00] So she... An animal would light off its own hand not to relive these memories but a

[20:05] human can relive them with some light therapy. Man, I guess fucking Tom Brokaw

[20:09] just showed up. It also includes specifically her spider

[20:16] journal that she took with her down to the Amazon. So that never explains who

[20:20] boxed all that stuff up and gave it to her. The fact that she's born in a

[20:26] cave in the jungle and the midwives are all spider-powered men in a jungle and

[20:30] yet she has documents, paperwork. I always wonder if

[20:35] they fill out a birth certificate? Yeah. And who held on to that box

[20:41] while she was a baby? And the way she goes through the box at this point in

[20:45] her life, you're like, she would have gone through that so many times

[20:49] as a child, right? She would have committed it all to memory.

[20:53] It's like the scene in Hereditary when she goes through her mom's

[20:56] stuff and there's just photo albums of her being a witch and it's like, did you

[21:00] never go through your mom's stuff? Okay, so the next day there's an accident on a

[21:08] bridge. She and Cassie and Ben go to rescue the guy and in the process the

[21:14] car containing Cassie goes over the bridge and she goes underwater and is

[21:21] trapped, drowns and then wakes up in the water and has this like vision quest,

[21:26] right? It features falling Pepsi letters. Before she goes into the water,

[21:31] they are pulling a guy from this car and then as if the car is a living creature

[21:35] that is trying to trap prey, when she gets too close to it, the door snaps

[21:39] shut and it falls backwards into the river as if this is mimic

[21:44] and it's learned how to become the shape of a car as opposed to like a man in a

[21:48] hat and a coat. It's so funny the way it happens. And when she's

[21:51] underwater, this is where we see kind of like the webs coming out underwater from

[21:56] her like shattered. I'm looking for you for a

[22:01] confirmation. Is this true? Yeah, there's like energy lines that trigger her power, I think.

[22:06] Like the the windshield spider webs? Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that has been mentioned in many

[22:11] write-ups about this movie. There's a lot of unnecessarily on-the-nose web

[22:17] iconography or web design elements and it's like the scene in High Anxiety

[22:21] where the guy goes, it's like I'm caught in some kind of web and there's a web

[22:24] over it. It's like that for a whole movie. But I wanted to say like, sorry, I

[22:29] needed a refresher. I looked again this

[22:33] morning at stuff but I saw this movie in theaters before I went away for a week.

[22:39] But I wanted to say like I actually I like that web imagery. Like I like how

[22:49] sort of goofy it is. Like there's stuff in this movie that looks bad bad. Like

[22:55] the Spider-Man jumping from trees to trees holding her mom. This looks at least like there was

[23:01] some thought put in it to it. Some visual thought. But they go so far with it that

[23:04] it stops being a visual motif and it becomes like the movie is elbowing you

[23:09] in the ribs constantly going, get it? Which is what I want out of this movie.

[23:15] A subtlety I do not want from this movie. Yes, that's true. If you're watching this movie

[23:19] the way that Madame Web will now be watched forever and not the way that was

[23:22] originally intended, then yes, it's the right choice to make. Her last

[23:25] name is Web. Let's not also forget that. But that's the thing. They don't even

[23:34] mention that her last name is Web until like halfway through the fucking movie.

[23:38] And I let out such a cackle in the empty theater. It's so great. I love it. Cassandra Web.

[23:44] Okay. I mean and that comes from the character. That's not a thing they

[23:47] invented. Like that's from the character. I feel like you can get away with that stuff.

[23:49] I'm not laughing at the movie. I'm laughing because it's a funny thing to wait to reveal.

[23:52] It's like, oh that's Madame Web. That's how she got her name.

[23:58] Because it is it is reminds me of the moment I love in Spider-Man 2 when

[24:02] J. Jonah Jameson goes, his name's Otto Octavius. Ends up with eight arms. What's the odds?

[24:06] They just gotta put a point on it. But they do it in such a funny way.

[24:09] Oh man, best superhero movie of all time. Yeah, for sure.

[24:12] Okay, so Ben rescues her. Turns out she was legally dead for three minutes. I mean,

[24:18] I don't know legally. I think I'm just saying that. It's not like a judge showed up and he's

[24:21] like, I'm gonna do it. That means laws don't apply to you anymore. You can do whatever you want.

[24:29] She has moments of like deja vu in the conversation and that's where we're

[24:33] starting to see, oh maybe she has powers. And then she also makes a comment,

[24:36] I just want to go home and watch Idol, which I love. Thank you. Thank you for

[24:41] being very specific about the time period. And that would have been like the second

[24:45] season of American Idol. That was a big season. Okay.

[24:48] One thing that I do, I like about this character, but I can see how it would make other people laugh,

[24:52] is how, this is the Dakota Johnson of it, I guess, that she's so totally blasé about everything.

[24:58] Yes. You're seeing earlier on where she has saved someone's life and a little kid is like,

[25:01] I drew a picture for you. And she's like, what do I do with this? Like, where do I put this?

[25:05] I thought that was very funny. Adam Scott's like, just take it and throw it away later.

[25:10] She's like, I can't even fold it. It's a cardboard. I thought that was very funny.

[25:15] That was a funny moment. She's such an inspired choice for this character.

[25:22] I unabashedly love Dakota Johnson performances. She's one of my favorites working today. She's so

[25:30] kind of airy and wispy and I do not understand what's going on. She's my dream flophouse guest

[25:35] because it would either be the best or absolute worst episode. She would destroy any attempt at

[25:42] having bits. I described this movie to friends as a movie about a lady who doesn't want to hang

[25:50] out with three teenagers. It's kind of interesting that they cast Sydney Sweeney also in this movie,

[25:58] who I think that's also kind of her vibe. She's not playing that type of character.

[26:07] Although it opens much to her discredit. I think not to her discredit, but it does not fit her

[26:13] either. It's bad casting for the character that they want her to play, but the way it's played,

[26:20] there are scenes in here where it's just like, I love it. It's like she and Dakota Johnson are

[26:24] in a contest to see who can put less energy into their lines. It's great.

[26:31] That's my thing about Dakota Johnson. She seems like every character is like a person who does

[26:35] not want to be in the movie. She is an actress who should be an actress in the 1970s. She should

[26:43] be making movies in the 1970s, maybe the 1980s, or maybe even the 1990s where it's like slacker

[26:47] movies. She should be in movies that are about characters that cannot get the energy up to do

[26:52] things and are just kind of drifting, but they don't make a lot of those movies anymore. Instead,

[26:55] she's going to play Madam Web, a superhero who can see the future. Just wait by the phone for

[27:00] Luca to give her a call. We cut across town to the opera where now a gray-haired Ezekiel Sims is

[27:10] attending an opera with a date. Is he with her or is he picking her up at the opera?

[27:16] I thought he picked her up at the opera. He's using his spider powers of future clairvoyance

[27:22] to be like, what's the best way to pick up this mystery method? In all the years that I attended

[27:28] the Metropolitan Opera with my dearly departed grandma, I never thought of picking up ladies

[27:34] while I was there. Maybe it was because I was with her that it never occurred to me,

[27:37] but it just didn't seem like the right location to do that.

[27:39] He would be beating you to the punch, I assume, right? You'd look at a lady and be like, well,

[27:42] then your grandmother would be there already talking to her.

[27:46] Your grandma's the sigma in the relationship. He takes this woman back to his fancy high-rise

[27:52] apartment that does feature a spider tank that has that spider from before. That's an old-ass

[27:58] spider, right? I mean, I have to assume that that's a descendant of the original spider,

[28:02] right? I mean, they're super spiders. Who knows? You're both right. It might just be that spider's

[28:08] been a 40,000-year-old spider. You know what it is? I bet that spider gives birth to a new spider

[28:13] and is reincarnated in that new spider, and so it's the same soul in a new body. Anyway,

[28:17] they explained it. You're welcome, movie. So they have an unforgettable night of magic together.

[28:23] Afterwards, while he sleeps, he has a dream where he is attacked by three spider women

[28:29] featuring different powers. This is by three spiders who teach him the true meaning of webs.

[28:35] Spider of Christmas Future, the Spider of Christmas Present, and the Spider of Christmas Past.

[28:39] What day is it? It's Christmas Day, sir. Get me the biggest spider you can find.

[28:43] What? The one as big as me?

[28:46] So he's visited by these...

[28:47] Tiny Tim, you're just a spider.

[28:50] Look, boss, you can't come to my house and give a spider to my kid. What are you doing?

[28:54] I'm sorry.

[28:55] Where'd you even find that spider?

[28:57] I do love the idea of a Christmas carol where the ghosts all kick his ass in different life

[29:01] questions.

[29:03] Yeah, well, that was what was always so funny about a Christmas carol to me,

[29:06] is that, you know, they gave him the soft cell first, and then the bad cop comes in,

[29:10] and he's like, oh, yeah? Well, look at this. You're gonna die.

[29:13] You're gonna die. Okay, well, that got through to me.

[29:17] See, the issue that I have with that story is that now I have an easter screw,

[29:19] which is like, now that I'm good, I'll never die.

[29:22] And so I assume the ghost of Christmas Future has to show up and be like,

[29:24] no, no, no, hold on, let's explain this to more people at your funeral.

[29:27] That, to be clear, that was what I was trying to say.

[29:30] It all ends in the snow and cold ground, no matter what.

[29:33] This moment, when you first see these three women in costume,

[29:37] this was one of the moments where I burst out laughing.

[29:39] It's great.

[29:39] I just couldn't handle it. It looks hilarious.

[29:44] And I will say this, the original costume for Cindy Sweeney's character,

[29:48] so she's playing the character.

[29:50] For some reason, they've named her Julia Cornwall.

[29:52] In the comics, she's Julia Carpenter.

[29:53] She is the second Spider Woman.

[29:55] She has the costume that inspires Spider-Man's black costume.

[29:58] She's got a great costume.

[30:00] in the comics. It's really fantastic and the way they've done it here does not quite work

[30:04] and they all look ridiculous in their costumes, all three of the Spider-Women. Unless, prove

[30:08] me wrong guys, do you think they look amazing? I mean, I feel like it looks less ridiculous

[30:12] for Ezekiel because over the course of the dream they beat him up and toss him out a

[30:15] window where he dies. Yes, that's true. So maybe for him they're not that silly. They're

[30:19] not that silly considering they are a life and death threat. But just the first moment

[30:23] you see them, it is very funny to me. Yeah, there's the moment where you're like, were

[30:27] they expecting this to be like a big crowd pleaser, stand up and cheer thing? My problem

[30:33] with it is that you barely saw them except in these very brief flashbacks. I felt so

[30:39] bad for Sidney Sweeney and her buddies that they had to dress up in those costumes and

[30:45] do all this choreography fight stuff for maybe, I would say, seven seconds of screen time?

[30:49] Maybe seven seconds. Yeah, that's true. I know they were trying to set up another movie

[30:52] but this felt like a real, they felt they were promising throughout the movie, like

[30:56] oh man, when they get those costumes. When they show up in costume? Well, that's the

[30:59] other thing about it, yeah, is it does promise that by the end of the movie you're gonna

[31:01] see them in costume, which does not happen. We'll get to it, but that is one of the more

[31:06] baffling decisions to me, the end of this movie, the lack of, I mean, this movie literally

[31:11] gets to the fireworks factory, but the metaphorical fireworks factory is not reached. Okay, so

[31:17] he wakes up from his death dream, he wakes up his date, who he explains the situation

[31:23] that he's been having this reoccurring dream where he always dies, it haunts him, so his

[31:27] only recourse is to steal face recognition software from the NSA that no one else knows

[31:34] about, he's going to steal that information so that he can then murder these young women.

[31:40] This is the moment where the date says, but wait, I work for the NSA, and then he of course

[31:45] gets her password and poisons her using his spider poison. This was a hilarious scene

[31:50] because I just love a scene where the villain explains his entire murder plan to a stranger.

[31:55] And also when he looks over at her stuff, her ID badge is lying right there. I guess

[32:00] maybe it came out when she went for her gun or something, but it looks like before they

[32:04] had sex she laid down her clutch, took out her NSA ID, put it out, took out her other

[32:10] things, laid it out, and was like, okay, now that you know my background, I'm ready for

[32:12] us to have this post-opera sex. On top of that, I mean, I don't, you know, it may surprise

[32:18] you to know that I'm not a super spy, but shouldn't someone who's in the NSA...

[32:22] You're still a very good spy, Dan. Maybe you're not super level.

[32:24] Yeah, be like aware that there might be a honeypot situation going on? I don't know,

[32:29] like I think that this is... I thought he was aware of her being in the

[32:33] NSA. Yeah, I feel like, of course he was.

[32:36] No, no, no, I'm saying that the woman should be a little more...

[32:40] No, I'm sorry, I thought she also was aware. Oh.

[32:44] It's just very unclear whether they have both double-tricked each other, but he seems

[32:50] to know it and she seems to know it, too, which is strange.

[32:53] This is also... The dialogue in this movie is so bad. He gets up from his dream and turns

[32:59] to her and says, do you have any idea what it's like to die every night for 20 years?

[33:04] And you know, to say that to a one-night stand with Roger Seggs feels like, this is a lot

[33:11] Don't overshare, buddy. Opera's about big emotions, it's about huge things happening

[33:19] to people, so she might be into it. It's also, do you have any idea what it's like to die

[33:22] every night for 20 years? Yeah, a lot of people have dreams where they fall down and die,

[33:26] like a lot of people. It's not... Wow, look at the empathy on this guy.

[33:30] You wake up and you go, yeah, that was a bad dream. Anyway, let me move on. I feel like

[33:34] the idea that, well, I had this dream all the time, I guess it's a prophecy that I have

[33:38] to stop from happening. Because as far as we know, he does not have fortune-telling

[33:41] powers the same way Madame Webb does, right? No, he does. Yeah, no, I think I thought that

[33:46] was pretty clear. I guess that's his fortune-telling powers. Yeah, that's how he made his money

[33:49] is that he writes his fortunes in the cookies. He's literally telling fortunes. Do you have

[33:56] any idea what it's like to have to come up with different ways to basically say nothing

[33:59] about somebody's future in seven words or less for years? You'll have some smiles today.

[34:05] Is that something? I have to come up with all the lucky numbers. That's the hardest

[34:09] part. We also see him having a vision, you know, like when he's trying to seduce the

[34:13] woman at the opera, he's like, okay, like there's a little fore-vision of like... Cool,

[34:18] okay, now that that adventure's over... You know what? I asked the stenographer to please

[34:23] remove my objections from the record, yeah. Okay, so... It's a perfect movie. Later on,

[34:29] we're at a baby shower for Ben, her co-worker's sister, so just a tangled web of relationships.

[34:38] You guys are routinely invited to your co-worker's sibling's baby showers, right? I mean, I feel

[34:44] like they're pretty close, though. It looks like they're friends. Cassie has no friends,

[34:48] so this is a close... It makes sense. I mean, even if it was just like, look, you don't

[34:51] know my co-worker, can I just invite her because she needs to get out of her house? Like, she

[34:54] never goes anywhere. She doesn't like attachments. That's the thing. She doesn't like webs. And

[34:58] her sister is like, as long as she doesn't make it super awkward and weird every single

[35:01] moment to the baby shower, and he goes, I cannot promise that. I apologize. So, of course,

[35:06] for this relatively thankless small role, of course, they hire Emma Roberts to play

[35:10] the sister, the pregnant sister. There's a little bit of banter. There's some good Pepsi

[35:16] product placement in this scene. Yeah, because she is not allowed to have a beer. Not allowed

[35:20] to have a beer. Because she died yesterday. And the only cure for dying yesterday, ice

[35:25] cold Pepsi. Pepsi, yeah. Not Coke. You were just born, so now you're part of the Pepsi

[35:30] generation since you just died and came back. So, you need Pepsi now. It's such a sad advertiser

[35:35] for Pepsi. If you are physically unable to have a beer at the cost of death, you can

[35:42] have a Pepsi. What's really funny, which I didn't think about until now, there's so much

[35:46] Pepsi product placement, and the end climax takes place at a big Pepsi Cola sign. But

[35:50] that's a real sign. That's a real landmark sign in Queens. So, I wonder if people who

[35:55] are not from New York watch that, and they're like, ugh, getting a little on the nose with

[35:59] the Pepsi product placement, huh? It's like, no, but that's the one real thing. That's

[36:02] the one. And I know that Coke is the real thing, but still. Maybe Diet Pepsi is the

[36:07] real thing. Which one was Ray Charles singing about? Well, that's the right one, baby. Oh,

[36:12] that's right, the right one. And so what's the real one? The real thing is an album by

[36:17] Faith No More. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, yeah. That Ray Charles was on. That's

[36:21] right. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. He's doing background vocals for Mike Patton. He's like, Faith No

[36:27] More, you're a gospel group, right? Yeah, yeah, sure. Just Ray, just get in there. Yeah,

[36:30] it's going to be epic. So, they do some party games where Cassie, Dakota Johnson is perfect

[36:38] for this, where she's like, let me tell bummer stories about my mom who died in the Amazon.

[36:43] I gotta say, this one's on Cassie because it's like, oh, you know, put down memories

[36:48] of your mom, good memories of your mom for the expectant mother. And she puts a blank

[36:53] piece of paper. Yeah, just don't put a paper in. Just don't put it in, man. No one's going

[36:58] to notice. Yeah. Yeah. She's not used to going to baby showers. She doesn't know. She doesn't

[37:01] know how it works. Yeah. Yeah. That's like when somebody is clearly upset and you're

[37:05] like, what's wrong? They're like, nothing. And you're like, oh, you really want to talk

[37:09] about it. The only way it would have been better if she wrote on the piece of paper,

[37:14] my mom died. That would have been nice to make sense. And they're like, oh,

[37:17] whose is this? Cassie's like, mine. Let me tell you the story. She was studying spiders in the

[37:20] Amazon. Even that would be a better choice because the person picking it out to read would be like,

[37:26] oh, okay, I'll fold this quietly and put it in my pocket rather than being like,

[37:30] what's this blank piece? She wants to talk about it. She wants to talk about it. Look,

[37:32] I was just glad they weren't playing the game where they smear different foods on a diaper

[37:37] and they have to taste them and then guess what they are. That's the game. I didn't want

[37:40] to see them play it in my culture. We eat our chocolate out of diapers. Okay. Sorry. Yeah.

[37:46] I forgot that you bring it up on the podcast. I forgot. That's your ethnic heritage as a

[37:51] gross person, as a garbage, as a garbage. This is maybe too nitpicky because I just

[38:00] hate the dialogue so much. But they go on when she says my mom died in childbirth.

[38:04] I like I get it. It's not like the most happy thing to say, but they all act as if she had

[38:09] just cursed the mother, the mother to dying in childbirth. They're all like, no, no,

[38:14] she's something. She's bringing the evil eye down upon them. They all have to go to

[38:18] they all have to get rid of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have to go throw incense around the whole

[38:22] house. It was it felt very much like this is this did not need to be reacted to the way it did.

[38:28] She's clearly like a weird person. Everyone could have been like, oh, that's so sad. Let's move on.

[38:31] Yeah. Yeah. Nobody really knows how to handle social interactions.

[38:35] Yeah. The least of it. Yeah. During the party, she continues to have moments of deja vu,

[38:40] similar to earlier. And then she then there is a the party is interrupted. There is a fire

[38:47] at the industrial fireworks factory at the docks. They have to rush down there.

[38:52] And during this can't ever have existed. There's no way during this exciting sequence

[38:57] where people have been injured and she's like running around and helping them.

[39:00] She continues to have moments of deja vu where she even sees her co-worker O'Neill,

[39:05] played by Mike Epps, dying in an accident or dying and blood's all over her hands.

[39:10] There's a moment where there's a moment where they're dragging a guy away and she's like

[39:15] and she's like, oh, I think he's actually seriously injured. And Adam Scott's like,

[39:19] oh, internal injuries. Good catch. It's great stuff. Like, I love it.

[39:24] That's that's that's the that the medical equivalent of on Studio 60,

[39:27] them glancing at a script and going, this is funny stuff like either one of them know about

[39:31] that. But also, yeah, internal injuries, I assume, are something they they know that they should

[39:35] check for or they're moving people. But one thing I think they do handle well in this movie is

[39:40] those first deja vu flashbacks are genuinely disorienting when she has them and then

[39:44] snatched back the way they edit them the first time around is generally confusing in a good way

[39:49] in that. And it gets across, I think, how hellish it would be to be living in life where you kind

[39:54] of don't know if you are in a if you're in a prophecy moment or if you were in an actual moment.

[40:00] But they kind of dropped that eventually she gets used to it pretty quickly

[40:02] But I think that that's something that uh, I was like, I just couldn't help thinking about like, yeah

[40:05] That'd be terrible if you don't know what you're living in power seeing it. Yeah super power more like super burden, right?

[40:12] Yeah, just like a millennium. That's his power. That's his curse. Yeah, sure. I'm the Robbie Williams song millennium

[40:18] so, uh

[40:21] Of course Mike Epps O'Neill gets in a horrible car accident and dies

[40:26] She rushes over to his but like he's driving an ambulance away from the scene immediately gets hit by a truck and killed

[40:31] There's something about sudden car accidents, which are horrifying but in movies, they're always funny

[40:37] Yep, and and she like rushes over to the body Adam Scott immediately runs over and drags her away and he says it's okay

[40:44] Nothing you could have done

[40:47] Which is also amazing from a guy who I'm guessing was like a battlefield medic

[40:51] Like he's like immediately like not be yeah, he's dead don't worry leave him

[40:55] But also it's not I wish it'd been even more than those like you couldn't seen that coming in the future

[40:59] It's not like you see the future or anything like that

[41:01] If you had a premonition a few seconds about that, I would have been so upset

[41:09] Yeah, of course we know that's impossible and so you are not at fault there is no blame and I will not judge you at

[41:14] All but again having said it if we were in that hypothetical

[41:17] Situation where you did get a sudden flash of the future and you knew he was in danger and you didn't stop him from getting

[41:22] That ambulance I would never forgive you

[41:25] Your hands the blood on your hands. I hope would never wash up

[41:28] Not the seas Neptune's seas could not wash off the stain of you letting your friend die

[41:33] But again, we know that that's not the case that didn't happen

[41:35] And so I should really get back to the people from the fireworks factory injured. I shouldn't be talking this long

[41:39] I just want to make it clear

[41:41] Because you don't have those powers we can talk about this more later

[41:44] It just dissolves to his funeral and Adam Scott is continuing that as the eulogy

[41:51] He's comforting he's comforting their co-workers wife like again

[41:55] I would blame Cassie and you should blame Cassie too if she was able to see the future, but we know that's impossible

[42:00] She doesn't have that ability. So you should not blame her. But if she did you would never forgive her

[42:05] I'm of course that goes without saying the only people have that ability are the Las Aranhas

[42:09] In the Peruvian jungle, even if they have seen this happening, how would they get in touch with us?

[42:14] They don't have a phone and she has no connection there, though

[42:17] We don't exactly know the story. Could they have used Elon Musk's star link to talk to us?

[42:22] No, it doesn't exist yet. We've never heard of him

[42:24] He is yet to become even a beloved famous person let alone a monster that people now realize was always a monster

[42:29] Yeah, anyway back to the funeral already in progress. I'm sorry pastor continue with the

[42:35] As you would imagine Cassie

[42:38] Cassie's a little bit wrecked. She takes time off of work. She hides at home eats, you know eats takeout

[42:44] She hangs out with her cat

[42:45] She learns like she continues to have these deja vu moments and she actually learns that by following these visions

[42:51] She can actually alter aspects of the future

[42:54] She saves a bird from smashing from smashing into a window and then more evidence that she could have saved her co-worker

[43:01] That is yeah, I'm sure that's a small

[43:04] Consolation there she gets a message from

[43:07] Adam Scott that says hey meet me

[43:10] You should come to the funeral and she's like, you know what I am gonna do that and she heads to Grand Central Station now

[43:15] meanwhile

[43:16] Ezekiel sins it needs to find these girls, right? He's deviled by these girls. So who does he enlist?

[43:23] He enlists a girl herself

[43:31] So he gets

[43:33] He gets her to show up to his high-rise apartment where she then lives for the rest of the movie

[43:38] And she is a super hacker and she has hacked into the NSA like security just like real green

[43:45] She has hacked into government and corporate secrets. And but she she doesn't she's on call 24 hours a day

[43:51] She's always there sitting in that chair in some ways more like the actual Madame Webb from the comics who is constantly sitting in a chair

[43:57] Just kind of plugged into things but that's just it's a good movie

[44:01] Her character does make me think that's what like shows from girls would have ended up becoming just a very like put-upon bullied around

[44:10] I know I'm carrying out evil, but I all I can do is just do the best job

[44:15] I can and get a little annoyed that he won't let me do the evil. He wants me to do in a better way

[44:19] Yeah, it's a very

[44:22] Japan I should have stayed in Japan

[44:25] so they

[44:26] So Cassie goes to Grand Central Station weirdly enough all three of the young women that are featured in the visions

[44:33] Also are at Grand Central Station at the same time security camera picks them up

[44:38] As an implicit

[44:40] approval of the

[44:42] attempts to make Grand Central Station into not just a transit hub but also a meeting place a

[44:47] Retail center a restaurant center clearly urban revitalization has worked according to Madame Webb in this commentary

[44:56] Subtext

[44:58] Thank You Bloomberg

[45:01] By the tycoon store to buy some ties because because that is there still I think after many years

[45:07] Don't have to know

[45:09] I'm sorry. I'm thinking a Penn Station. I think you don't have to go there just to travel

[45:12] You can also go there to meet your destiny. It's a fun place

[45:18] So Ezekiel Sims

[45:20] Costumes up and he heads to Grand Central Station to kill some girls

[45:24] Okay, so Cassie gets on a train

[45:26] she keeps having visions of the

[45:29] various three girls getting on the train and then getting murdered by a

[45:32] spider suited Ezekiel Sims and also some of that she has keeps having visions of other people sitting on the train what they're gonna say and

[45:38] a guy asking her if it's the right train and when he goes and she goes

[45:41] I hope not and then he leaves and I'm like, oh this is the repercussion of your powers that guy ended up on the wrong train

[45:48] Well the motor on that is one of my favorite line readings is later on she runs into the same guy on a different train

[45:55] And he goes am I on the right train and she goes, I don't know man

[46:01] Bored and frustrated like I got bigger things and he's like I only asked her if it was the right train train twice

[46:09] Now if I had asked her three times if she had heard me say it three times like if she had yeah

[46:13] I could understand why she'd be upset but I only asked her twice. This is again. I'm mad at her again

[46:18] I wouldn't be mad at her if she had precognitive abilities for the game. No, that's impossible

[46:23] That was the funniest joke in the whole movie to me like the liver one the fact that like

[46:27] This guy like asked his girl if he was on the right train. She was like no he goes then sees her on that train

[46:33] Okay. Yeah, that's

[46:35] Confusing to me. This guy is the most relatable guy in the movie

[46:38] So she manages to convince these three girls to follow her because there's a spider-man chasing them they

[46:46] They eventually lose him. He ends up killing a whole bunch of cops

[46:49] but in the process

[46:50] she gets blamed for the attack on the cops and for kidnapping the girls this and then she steals a

[46:56] Then she steals a cab this this thing that I could never quite understand why

[47:01] She was the one who ended up getting the full blame since did he did this because if the spider killed

[47:06] I guess was it like she was reported in and then as Eagle killed everybody. So there were no

[47:11] It was yeah, Sidney Sweeney one time sort of like half-heartedly

[47:15] He's like, I think this lady might be trying to kidnap us and I feel like the cops that heard that died

[47:21] So I'm not really sure why there are cameras as the movie is positive their cameras everywhere

[47:25] So there should be footage of a man in a dark suit murdering police

[47:30] Away, we were able to you're forgetting. There's a super hacker monitoring the feet

[47:37] Probably cut probably she probably used AI which they he has because he see on the future and he programmed it use AI to create

[47:43] A video that showed Cassie killing cops and then stealing the girls I guess and inserted that in

[47:47] This is the problem with a movie where a scene will happen and the next scene will have to explain

[47:53] What the takeaway for the previous? Yeah. Yeah, because they know like it doesn't quite make sense

[47:58] So look all you got to know is like I'm now

[48:00] Thought of to be the one who's kidnapping you guys and I made it worse by stealing a car, too

[48:04] That's a crime that I can use a cab now. Don't worry

[48:07] This is before they had tracking devices in cabs so they could easily track it also for some reason the cab driver is being paid

[48:13] For his by his fare out last while standing outside the cab

[48:19] Luggage maybe like I've never seen that before

[48:21] So the many times in this movie people get out of a car to give her the opportunity to get in and steal the car

[48:29] Yeah, I mean that's a valuable life lesson this guy just learned, you know, don't get out of your car

[48:34] Certainly, you know, so we get to meet the girls

[48:39] Julia Maddie and Anya there, you know, I don't know the movie not a lot going on makes the most half-hearted attempts to

[48:47] Like distinguish these girls from one another like there are like small things. I can see that there's describe them

[48:53] Give me some broad strokes and well and tell us tell me about well, tell me about tell me about Sidney. Tell me about Julia

[49:00] well

[49:03] Like little kid drag

[49:06] Sweeney they tried to make into sort of like this geeky schoolgirl, which does not

[49:12] Suit her talent. I think it's very funny that they're like she is just sex on toast. How do we make her seem less sexy?

[49:18] We'll put her in a schoolgirl outfit

[49:22] It definitely works like

[49:26] Everyone seems so disaffected like they're just three

[49:29] Disaffected

[49:31] There's Julia who's a nerd? There's yeah, Anya who it turns out later. Her father was deported, right?

[49:40] Higher character trait and she lives in the same building as as Cassie, but they don't they didn't know

[49:45] Yeah, and there's kind of a quiet smartass. The other one is the louder

[49:49] You know that she's also smart because if she is a shirt that says like science rules or something like that math rocks

[49:55] I love I love nerds or something. Yeah, and Maddie is the rich girl

[50:00] girl who skateboards around and likes to pretend she's not rich because her parents are always

[50:03] away in China doing business stuff.

[50:06] Yep.

[50:07] She also likes to eat, is the big thing about her character, she's always talking about

[50:11] eating.

[50:12] Teenagers, guys.

[50:13] Yeah.

[50:14] Yeah.

[50:15] Yeah, they're hungry.

[50:16] Even when they're late 20s actresses, they're still hungry all the time.

[50:20] And also they, except for, they all seem to be semi-allergic to clothes that cover their

[50:25] belly buttons because all their, all their shirts except for Sidney Sweeney's don't cover

[50:29] their midriffs and they change that.

[50:30] Check out old man yelling at clouds over here, he doesn't understand the outfits of the teens.

[50:33] I'm just saying, if I wanted to see that many belly buttons, I'd watch Belly, are there

[50:38] a lot of belly buttons in Belly?

[50:39] The movie Belly?

[50:40] Yeah.

[50:41] With DMX?

[50:42] R.I.P.

[50:43] You get to see DMX's Belly Button I assume at some point, right?

[50:46] Elliot is so like, he doesn't understand, like he got the album, the album by the band

[50:51] Belly, he's like, where the, I thought this program was called Belly Button.

[50:54] And there's songs about bellies and belly buttons, yeah.

[50:56] Feed the tree?

[50:57] Yeah, why are you feeding the tree?

[50:58] Feed me a belly button.

[50:59] I mean, Pinocchio is the one kid who doesn't have a belly button, he's a, he's an old vehicle

[51:04] boy.

[51:05] Exactly, he's a carpooler and just, you know.

[51:06] Okay, so.

[51:07] Mate, you think Geppetto just took like a little awl or something and just kind of like

[51:09] dug a belly button out?

[51:10] Yeah, probably to make, you know, he didn't want Pinocchio to feel out of place.

[51:13] I don't want you to feel weird in the gym class when you're changing, so I'm giving

[51:16] you a belly button and a penis, let's not go too far Pinocchio, come on.

[51:21] Uh, yeah, that's great.

[51:23] So.

[51:24] Thank you.

[51:25] Uh, they, so we get to meet the girls, Dakota, Dakota Johnson does not want to hang out with

[51:30] them, but you know, she kind of has to, uh, because she's implicated and they're kidnapping.

[51:34] Yeah, and she wants to protect them.

[51:36] They go hide out in the woods.

[51:38] She leaves them there with the instructions, don't do dumb things.

[51:42] She then sneaks home, removes the plates from the cab.

[51:46] She sneaks home, reads the spider journal again, finally finds the photo of her mother

[51:51] with the Zekiel Sims.

[51:53] She then tests her powers to try and see if she has spider powers.

[51:56] She can climb on walls.

[51:57] She cannot.

[51:58] I like that moment.

[51:59] She, she decides to jump and try to stick to walls and she falls down and she tells

[52:01] her cat, don't tell anybody basically like that never happened.

[52:05] Uh, the girls, uh, do, do dumb things.

[52:08] Uh, they go, they do, do dumb things.

[52:11] They walk to a diner, which you have no idea that the words you just said when you put

[52:14] together sound like poop, you have no idea what, what shit you just stepped in.

[52:20] Yeah.

[52:21] When the podcast comes out, you'll listen to it and you'll be like, I can't believe

[52:25] I said do, do dumb things.

[52:27] Oh man.

[52:28] Oh, I want you to draw a picture of Stuart being embarrassed listening to the podcast

[52:32] later and send it to the podcast.

[52:36] Stink lines and embarrassment lines together.

[52:38] I'm like, I'm trying so hard to look cool in front of my friend Juben, but I just look

[52:42] like such an idiot.

[52:43] No, man.

[52:44] The sunglasses did it for me.

[52:45] Well, I just want to be kind of the Madam Web of this podcast.

[52:49] I presume that this was some Madam Web cosplays and very low-key cosplays.

[52:53] Yeah.

[52:54] I just thought we were all going to be in the spirit wearing cool shades, but I guess

[52:57] I'm the only one.

[52:58] So the girls do, do dumb things.

[52:59] They go to a diner.

[53:00] Oh, he said it again!

[53:01] He said it again!

[53:02] Can you believe this?

[53:03] And on the Max Fundrive episode, on that of all cases.

[53:06] I know.

[53:08] Okay, everybody, remember at the top of the show when I told you that I'd tell you more

[53:14] about Max Fundrive?

[53:15] Well, now I'm telling you what I told you I'd tell you is finally being told to you.

[53:20] The 12 days of Max Fundrive is the most wonderful time of year when we celebrate the birth of

[53:25] our savior, Maxwell Fund, by inviting you to support our show.

[53:29] Dan, read the liturgy.

[53:31] It's all in there.

[53:32] It's all in there.

[53:33] Okay.

[53:34] By inviting you to support our show by going to maximumfund.org slash join and becoming

[53:37] a new member of the Maximum Fund Network or by boosting or upgrading your membership.

[53:42] Why do we need members?

[53:43] Okay, let's get down to this.

[53:44] Because your membership pledges are what pays for the shows you love.

[53:48] Our show and the other Max Fund shows are directly supported by our members.

[53:53] This is where the vast majority of the show's proceeds come from.

[53:55] And for Daniel McCoy and myself, it's now where most of our personal income comes from.

[53:59] When you pledge your money, it isn't going to some shadowy bureaucracy where nobody knows

[54:03] how it's spent.

[54:04] Your money isn't going to some faceless corporation that will funnel that money into buying Supreme

[54:08] Court justices.

[54:09] No, it's going directly to the creators of the shows you choose, which means Stuart,

[54:12] Dan, and me, so that we can buy things like food, not Supreme Court justices.

[54:16] I would not buy one.

[54:17] I would not want to eat one.

[54:19] They probably don't taste good.

[54:20] Ali can feed his wife and kids.

[54:22] I can feed my wife and cats.

[54:24] I can buy protein powder, fancy sunglasses, hair care products, miniatures, trips to Australia.

[54:32] I think that is helping quite a bit, actually.

[54:34] I think people would be happy to spend money so that Stuart can keep looking as good as

[54:37] he does.

[54:38] Look, being supported by our members means this show can remain independent.

[54:42] Nobody controls what we say or tells us what to do.

[54:44] And trust me, trust me, as I slog through life trying desperately to get permission

[54:50] to work in some way telling jokes or crafting stories, permission from television executives

[54:54] who themselves do not know how to tell jokes or craft stories, it is increasingly valuable

[54:58] to me that your support keeps this show ringin' easy, summer breezy, thanks to you.

[55:03] Just like the Addams Family, we can do what we want to do, say what we want to say, live

[55:07] how we want to live, and play how we want to play.

[55:09] We will not stop and smack a friend.

[55:11] What do they do?

[55:12] Slap a friend?

[55:13] Kick and they slap a friend, yeah.

[55:14] We won't kick or slap friends.

[55:15] What's our policy of re-dancing?

[55:16] Can we dance how we want to dance?

[55:17] Sometimes.

[55:18] We can't dance how we want to dance, sure.

[55:19] Okay, sure.

[55:20] Think about all the TV shows that you love that got canceled because some suit decided

[55:26] it wasn't pushing stock growth enough.

[55:27] Think of the fact that there's an entire Wile E. Coyote movie you will never see because

[55:32] some suit decided they just weren't gonna let you.

[55:34] When you directly support the things you love, like this podcast, you keep that from happening.

[55:38] You keep that from happening to us, from ever being put in a situation where someone

[55:42] else can decide whether you're gonna hear us or not.

[55:45] So by going to MaximumFun.org and supporting our show, you are sending a message to the

[55:49] sludge factory that is modern media that the art you love is valued and will survive.

[55:55] That's all to say.

[55:56] Will you please go to MaximumFun.org right now and become a member of Maximum Fun?

[56:00] Will you help us for as little as $5 a month to keep independent, goofy nonsense like the

[56:05] Flophouse alive?

[56:06] If you can afford more than $5 per month, please consider pledging $10 a month.

[56:10] If you can afford more than that, well, look, I'm not gonna tell you to give us less money

[56:14] than you wanna give us.

[56:15] Give us as much as you want.

[56:16] Feel free to upgrade your membership to a higher level or boost your membership by a

[56:19] few extra dollars.

[56:20] But if $5 is all you can swing, then that is wonderful, incredibly appreciated by us.

[56:25] We'd be very thankful if you would go to MaximumFun.org slash join and support as a member right now.

[56:30] Right, Dan?

[56:31] Dan, thank the nice people.

[56:32] Thank you.

[56:33] Thank you.

[56:34] Thank you all.

[56:35] Thank you.

[56:36] I don't wanna get off message.

[56:40] I would like to send people to pledge money so we can continue the show.

[56:45] But also, if this is just not your year, that's also fine.

[56:49] Thank you for listening.

[56:50] Tell someone about the show.

[56:51] We appreciate you.

[56:52] Thank you.

[56:53] That's enough thanking by telling people not to pledge.

[56:55] Dan, but I appreciate it.

[56:57] Okay, so I'm being a harder ass than Dan.

[57:00] I'm asking you right now as you're listening to this to go to MaximumFun.org slash join.

[57:04] You don't have to even pause the podcast.

[57:06] Keep listening while you do it.

[57:07] Because I'm gonna tell you, once you're at MaximumFun.org slash join, you're gonna choose

[57:10] what level of support you feel you can afford in exchange for the podcast you love.

[57:14] You'll click start a membership.

[57:15] You'll put in your credit card information.

[57:17] I'm sorry we no longer accept farm goods as barter.

[57:19] We did for a short amount of time.

[57:21] But I don't need that many eggs.

[57:22] You'll choose what podcast you wanna do.

[57:24] I do.

[57:25] Yes, Stuart needs a lot of eggs.

[57:26] He needs that protein.

[57:27] Stuart's a regular cool hand Luke.

[57:28] You'll choose what podcast you wanna contribute to.

[57:30] And that's it.

[57:31] It's that easy.

[57:32] If you're already a member, it's even easier to upgrade your pledge level or if you feel

[57:35] like you can't afford the full upgrade but you still wanna give us a little more, you

[57:38] can't afford a little more, then boost it by adding a few extra bucks.

[57:40] This is especially great if you wanna add a show to the ones you already support.

[57:44] A show like, say, The Flophouse, maybe?

[57:47] So once again, if you love The Flophouse, and I know I do, and you're not already a

[57:51] member, which I am, then would you please go to MaximumFun.org slash join and support

[57:55] us for as little as $5 a month.

[57:57] That's one less coffee a month.

[57:59] Help save us and help save yourself from an ulcer all at the same time.

[58:03] If you're already a member and you're feeling flushed with cash this year, would you please

[58:06] go to MaximumFun.org slash join and upgrade or boost your membership?

[58:10] I'll be back with more drive talk later in the episode.

[58:12] That's enough for now.

[58:13] For now, let's get back to the hijinks.

[58:15] Boys, spin that web.

[58:17] Yeah, so they decide to go to a diner, which at first seems like it's a long way away,

[58:21] but we later learn is very close to their campsite.

[58:24] It's just within, it's the steps, if you were selling an apartment in the woods, you would

[58:28] say steps away from dining.

[58:30] It steps away, but then later on when Dakota Johnson is trying to drive there, it takes

[58:34] her forever.

[58:35] Yeah, she's not taking the direct route.

[58:37] Yeah.

[58:38] It also, yeah, I'm not sure when they go there, it's like daytime, but when they get there,

[58:42] it seems to be like 10 p.m.

[58:45] And it seems like it's going to be set up that it's going to be a real culture clash

[58:48] when they go to this diner, but it's not.

[58:50] Yeah, record scratch.

[58:52] And there's a bunch of like young, young, handsome dudes that show up.

[58:55] It seems like this is the exact right diner for them to walk into, and which one is it?

[59:02] Maddie just starts ordering food, and she has so many plates of food around her, and

[59:05] she says to the waitress, keep it coming.

[59:07] And it's like, how much did you order?

[59:09] It's like, you have to order food.

[59:10] That's very nonspecific.

[59:11] I had to stop the movie.

[59:13] That was such an upsetting line to me.

[59:15] It is, the woman, the server brings out some like 15 full plates, and Maddie says, keep

[59:21] them coming.

[59:22] Yeah, it's like an omakase.

[59:23] But keep what coming?

[59:25] Like, who fries the pancakes?

[59:26] Like, who, what is the server supposed to do with that?

[59:27] And she's not eating it fast.

[59:28] She's not like Jughead, just like gobbling it up.

[59:29] No, she's like, keep it coming, one fry.

[59:30] One fry at a time.

[59:31] Two fry.

[59:32] Maybe this is a diner that advertises unlimited pancakes, and she's trying to get up on the

[59:33] wall.

[59:34] Yeah, I mean, that would make sense.

[59:35] The wall of pancake heroes.

[59:36] Yeah.

[59:37] And then they, of course, make a scene.

[59:38] They start dancing on a table.

[59:39] A trucker sees them.

[59:40] Too toxic.

[59:41] Yeah.

[59:42] Okay.

[59:43] Elliot wants, Elliot is a little embarrassed that he didn't know, you know, what was going

[59:44] on.

[1:00:00] of this shit around.

[1:00:02] This is probably Britney Spears' best song.

[1:00:04] We can agree on that, right guys?

[1:00:06] Toxic? Yeah.

[1:00:08] It's certainly the most Henry Mancini

[1:00:10] Britney Spears song.

[1:00:12] That's how I judge all my pop music.

[1:00:14] The thing that I do like

[1:00:16] about the way they use the song is

[1:00:18] it's diegetic music.

[1:00:20] They're dancing to it. It's in the building.

[1:00:22] But then it becomes the music for a fight scene soundtrack.

[1:00:24] And I was just like, they are using

[1:00:26] every part of Toxic.

[1:00:28] They're just letting it go.

[1:00:30] And also, this spider bite, it's Toxic.

[1:00:32] Yeah, and it reminds me how great

[1:00:34] that fan edit of the

[1:00:36] fight scene from the second

[1:00:38] Star Wars movie that was set to

[1:00:40] Toxic. The throne room fight scene.

[1:00:42] Snoke and all that shit where they

[1:00:44] swapped in Toxic for whatever music was there.

[1:00:46] And you're like, wow, this really works.

[1:00:48] This is great. This is a song with a lot of energy.

[1:00:50] Yeah, yeah. And they're

[1:00:52] dancing for a while on this table.

[1:00:54] In a diner too.

[1:00:56] I don't know

[1:00:58] if you guys are

[1:01:00] aware of this, but outside of Coyote Ugly,

[1:01:02] that's not typically a thing that's done.

[1:01:04] No, certainly. I grew up in the land of diners,

[1:01:06] New Jersey, and if you got up on the table

[1:01:08] and started dancing, they would yell at you

[1:01:10] to get off the table. I'm sure.

[1:01:12] And they wouldn't do it nicely. This is New Jersey.

[1:01:14] People swear it went to babies.

[1:01:16] When you say the vibe of the diner,

[1:01:18] it sort of had every diner vibe.

[1:01:20] It had the dancing on table.

[1:01:22] They also had the truckers reading the New York Post

[1:01:24] and the freaking coffee vibe.

[1:01:26] Every vibe was in that diner.

[1:01:28] There's a Howard the Duck in the corner.

[1:01:30] It was a throwback to the era

[1:01:32] like you're saying, Stuart, of Howard the Duck

[1:01:34] when every genre movie had a scene

[1:01:36] in a diner because it was like,

[1:01:38] can you believe these far out characters

[1:01:40] in a diner? That's the least far out place.

[1:01:42] Yeah, they're talking to

[1:01:44] Dexter Jetster or whatever his name is.

[1:01:46] Yeah, exactly.

[1:01:48] At a certain point it became, yeah, I guess they all hang out at diners.

[1:01:50] I guess any time an alien shows up or a monster,

[1:01:52] they go to a diner at some point.

[1:01:54] Superman's going to come in and kick the ass

[1:01:56] of someone who earlier in the movie

[1:01:58] was mean to him when he was Clark Kent

[1:02:00] and had no powers.

[1:02:02] He just made a penny about Superman.

[1:02:04] You'd do that too if you were Superman.

[1:02:06] Yeah, but once you're Superman, you should know.

[1:02:08] Just the knowledge should be enough.

[1:02:10] And you do it just like Superman at all.

[1:02:12] You just get a gun too.

[1:02:14] I could just get a gun.

[1:02:16] A gun makes any man a Superman.

[1:02:18] This episode brought to you by the NRA.

[1:02:20] Making the world worse

[1:02:22] for many, many years.

[1:02:24] So a trucker sees the girls.

[1:02:26] He calls in a tip. Of course, that tip is then intercepted

[1:02:28] by Sasha Mamet, who passes it along

[1:02:30] to Ezekiel Sims, who calls off the police

[1:02:32] because he's going to handle it his style.

[1:02:34] Cassie gets to...

[1:02:36] Let me get into my costume first.

[1:02:38] Cassie finds that the girls have abandoned the campsite.

[1:02:40] She gets in her car to drive to the diner.

[1:02:44] We see visions.

[1:02:46] We don't realize they're visions, but we see

[1:02:48] visions of Ezekiel Sims showing up

[1:02:50] at the diner and killing the girls.

[1:02:52] Once again, set to toxic.

[1:02:54] But it turns out those are visions.

[1:02:56] And then

[1:02:58] he is at the diner

[1:03:00] and before he can do anything,

[1:03:02] Cassie crashes through the front of the diner

[1:03:04] in the cab and smashes him into a wall.

[1:03:06] One of two times she will smash a vehicle,

[1:03:08] drive a vehicle through something

[1:03:10] to surprise him. It shouldn't work twice.

[1:03:12] I'm sorry, Ezekiel. You can see the future

[1:03:14] and you have a memory.

[1:03:16] I'm not even sure of the mechanics of the second one,

[1:03:18] but we'll get to it.

[1:03:20] Even this one,

[1:03:22] this diner seems to be made out of balsa wood.

[1:03:24] Diners are a heavy construction restaurant.

[1:03:26] They're made out of chrome and metal.

[1:03:28] This car just takes it out easy.

[1:03:30] In the process, Cassie gets poisoned a little bit.

[1:03:32] Just a little bit, you know, as a treat.

[1:03:34] And they escape.

[1:03:36] This is, of course, shortly after here,

[1:03:38] this is where Sims is talking

[1:03:40] to his hacker and they're like,

[1:03:42] who is this strange woman who keeps showing up?

[1:03:44] And they're like, that's Cassandra Webb.

[1:03:46] And that's, of course, where audience,

[1:03:48] insert audience laughter there.

[1:03:50] And he goes, kind of ironic, huh?

[1:03:52] Her name's Webb and this whole thing's about spiders?

[1:03:54] Is there a connection, you think?

[1:03:56] Anyway.

[1:03:58] So they hide out at a motel.

[1:04:00] Cassie goes...

[1:04:02] Who gave her the name Cassandra? The spider people?

[1:04:04] Probably. I assume it's Spider-Man, yeah.

[1:04:06] Or maybe one of her foster parents.

[1:04:08] Or maybe her mom with her dying breath said Cassandra.

[1:04:10] They're all classics fans.

[1:04:12] They know that she'll have the gift of sight, so they're like...

[1:04:14] They have to call her Cassandra, yeah.

[1:04:16] I think it's really funny that she's Cassie,

[1:04:18] mostly because Sydney Sweeney seems to have

[1:04:20] a lot of trouble with the name Cassie.

[1:04:22] She does not say it normally.

[1:04:24] She's always like, Cassie.

[1:04:26] The reason why is because that's her character

[1:04:28] on Euphoria. Oh, really?

[1:04:30] Is that right? Yeah.

[1:04:32] And there's a character named Maddie in Euphoria

[1:04:34] and there's a character named Maddie that's so confusing.

[1:04:36] Must have been tough.

[1:04:38] Euphoria? No, no, no. Me-phoria.

[1:04:40] Anyway, continue.

[1:04:42] Ellie's going to jail for that joke.

[1:04:44] Worth it, but I understand the charge.

[1:04:46] It's a fair cop.

[1:04:48] Cassie leaves the girls to sleep.

[1:04:50] She goes back to the diner and she has this

[1:04:52] vision conversation

[1:04:54] with Ezekiel Sims

[1:04:56] who explains his entire plan

[1:04:58] to her. Yes, this is real

[1:05:00] Rey and Kylo

[1:05:02] stuff from Star Wars.

[1:05:04] They can use Spider-Force to talk to each other.

[1:05:06] He's like, look, I knew

[1:05:08] your mom. We were close. I did kill her, but

[1:05:10] I shouldn't have any secrets from you. Let me tell you what I'm going

[1:05:12] to do. Yeah.

[1:05:14] This is a movie running out

[1:05:16] of reasons to

[1:05:18] explain plot.

[1:05:20] It is almost like Ezekiel is

[1:05:22] like, look, it's that time in the movie when you

[1:05:24] need to know what's going on. So let me just tell you.

[1:05:26] Let's pull out

[1:05:28] some spider tea.

[1:05:30] So she goes back and teaches

[1:05:32] the girls CPR. That's going to come in handy later.

[1:05:34] She leaves the girls with

[1:05:36] her friend Ben,

[1:05:38] and the girls all explain they're like, yeah, we can't

[1:05:40] go home because of these reasons. They're like, okay,

[1:05:42] whatever. It doesn't matter. Let's just get this

[1:05:44] over with. She leaves them with Ben so

[1:05:46] that she can go to Peru.

[1:05:48] This is the quickest trip to

[1:05:50] Peru anyone has ever taken.

[1:05:52] 30 minutes later, she's in Peru.

[1:05:54] It does make it seem like it

[1:05:56] takes her a day to go to Peru, get to

[1:05:58] the jungle, explore around, and then come back.

[1:06:00] It's crazy.

[1:06:02] She uses her mom's notes and

[1:06:04] maps to find the leader of

[1:06:06] Las Arañas, who's just hanging out.

[1:06:08] He was really committed.

[1:06:10] He told her mom

[1:06:12] when it's time and she comes back,

[1:06:14] I'll have answers for her, and he's just

[1:06:16] there wearing a jaunty neckerchief

[1:06:18] being like, hey, I've been

[1:06:20] waiting for you. I love the idea. He's like, when

[1:06:22] she's ready, we'll be here. We will not

[1:06:24] be proactive about this. We will not

[1:06:26] go to her and tell her anything. She's

[1:06:28] going to want it. She's going to come here.

[1:06:30] I will not

[1:06:32] Myspace friend her. That will not happen.

[1:06:34] That's actually, wow,

[1:06:36] Elliot's topical. He's good.

[1:06:38] Early 2000s. Yeah, you're a professional

[1:06:40] writer. So the leader

[1:06:42] of Las Arañas... Hey, Stuart, I was

[1:06:44] there. I lived it, man.

[1:06:46] Tom was my friend.

[1:06:48] So he,

[1:06:50] she has a vision quest where

[1:06:52] she sees her

[1:06:54] mother and she sees

[1:06:56] what happened, but also

[1:06:58] she had been laboring this entire time

[1:07:00] under the belief that her mother,

[1:07:02] very pregnant, had decided to

[1:07:04] just go down to the Amazon for some

[1:07:06] reason because she hated her baby so

[1:07:08] much. But it turns out

[1:07:10] the reason why is because she

[1:07:12] knew her baby was being, was going

[1:07:14] to be born with a very

[1:07:16] specific, what, degenerative disease?

[1:07:18] It's a neuromuscular disorder, and she says the

[1:07:20] line like, but I don't have a neuromuscular

[1:07:22] disorder. Just for the case

[1:07:24] the dummies in the audience didn't put two and two

[1:07:26] together, yeah. And her mother

[1:07:28] went down there because she

[1:07:30] believes that the spider bite is the

[1:07:32] only cure and that western

[1:07:34] medicine wouldn't recognize magical

[1:07:36] spiders. So by going to Peru, she

[1:07:38] was not running from her unborn daughter, which you

[1:07:40] cannot do because she was in her

[1:07:42] belly, starring DMX. She would go

[1:07:44] anywhere that her mother goes,

[1:07:46] but she did it entirely to save her.

[1:07:48] Her mother did love her. She didn't

[1:07:50] abandon her by dying. What a revelation.

[1:07:52] It's also a terrible thing about the movie

[1:07:54] where we discover at that moment

[1:07:56] that that has been her

[1:07:58] deep burden, and

[1:08:00] a second later, it's resolved.

[1:08:02] I don't know, like,

[1:08:04] the movie comes up with these deep emotional

[1:08:06] issues, and then it's like, and that's that.

[1:08:08] And now we've resolved it.

[1:08:10] If you could have saved your friend, he's dead.

[1:08:12] Don't worry about it anymore. To be fair, this does

[1:08:14] feel like the kind of movie that they were, at some points,

[1:08:16] making up as they went along on set.

[1:08:18] So it's possible that they were like, uh, we should

[1:08:20] put this in here. It was also

[1:08:22] another thing, too, about this,

[1:08:24] the Araneas people,

[1:08:26] that they are, this,

[1:08:28] the man who was like, who

[1:08:30] puts on this vision quest. Santiago.

[1:08:32] Santiago. Is that his name? Yeah.

[1:08:34] According to Wikipedia, that's his name. He is

[1:08:36] coded as this, you know, indigenous,

[1:08:38] wise, native man

[1:08:40] who, with his, you know, communal

[1:08:42] mystical touch, will bring her

[1:08:44] to some kind of larger peace. And it's

[1:08:46] never explained. These people

[1:08:48] are just spider people.

[1:08:50] A spider bit them and they run around.

[1:08:52] It feels so racist to me.

[1:08:54] And also, obviously, they are wise beyond their years

[1:08:56] because they live in the jungle and can

[1:08:58] teach her. At one point, he tells her

[1:09:00] like, you have to see the

[1:09:02] future clearly. Before you can

[1:09:04] see the future clearly, you must heal the

[1:09:06] wounds of the past.

[1:09:08] What the hell is this guy doing saying that kind of stuff?

[1:09:10] This guy, this

[1:09:12] attempt

[1:09:14] to find like a

[1:09:16] wise man

[1:09:18] among these people. Yeah, like a Yoda figure.

[1:09:20] Very racist to me.

[1:09:22] And of course, the Amazonians will be

[1:09:24] the spiritual, love-minded people.

[1:09:26] You have to understand

[1:09:28] that people of color

[1:09:30] are just naturally closer to the mystic

[1:09:32] and supernatural world according to

[1:09:34] movies. It's like there's always, there's a character

[1:09:36] in so many ghost movies

[1:09:38] where it's like, I don't know what to do. I guess

[1:09:40] I'll talk to the black or Haitian

[1:09:42] woman that is nearest to me and they'll be like,

[1:09:44] alright, it's ghosts. Let me explain it to you.

[1:09:46] If that's racist, then

[1:09:48] it is. A little confused, but

[1:09:50] he's hanging out dressed kind of like

[1:09:52] I don't know, Cary Grant in To Catch a Thief

[1:09:54] here, you know.

[1:09:56] Actually, that's a good call. He is

[1:09:58] dressed with a neckerchief and everything.

[1:10:00] so like this is his like secret identity when he's not a spider person but then

[1:10:04] like is he he goes into the jungle to like do stuff I assume he lives in the

[1:10:09] jungle when the tourists come around he puts on the spider guy suit and crawls

[1:10:13] around trees when the tourists are not around he's it's the same way that I

[1:10:16] remember my dad years ago he took a rafting trip through Costa Rica and the

[1:10:20] thing that struck him the most was that everybody everywhere they went was

[1:10:23] listening to meatloaf's bad-out-of-hell album and he was like it just wasn't

[1:10:27] what I expected from going into the jungle and I'm like yeah well they like

[1:10:30] music too I guess it's a big album it's a huge album why wouldn't they be

[1:10:33] listening to it but uh yeah I think this is just he was like Cassie she's like

[1:10:38] family I don't need to dress up in all this stuff like I'm not gonna I'm not

[1:10:40] gonna sell her any trinkets or anything so Cassie has her like her live laugh

[1:10:46] love moment she heads back to New York meanwhile what would that be in spider

[1:10:50] terms it's like spin, stock, injective poison, swallow a fly, she's just gobbling down dozens of flies

[1:11:00] yeah spin, stock, suck because they suck the innards out of their other victims

[1:11:03] yeah yeah so meanwhile Ben's all the all the girls are in living she brings it

[1:11:08] home painted in three different fonts on a piece of driftwood I mean you gotta

[1:11:13] buy some art when you're on vacation yeah yeah of course you should see all

[1:11:16] the shit Dan brought back from the Choco Cruise, it's crazy. Yeah, indigenous Choco art so yeah

[1:11:25] meanwhile all the girls are living with Ben and Ben's sister and I guess Ben's

[1:11:31] sister who Emma Roberts whose water breaks uh-oh they all got to go to the

[1:11:35] hospital. One of the girls says gross or ew or something which yeah they all load up into a car and they

[1:11:41] drive over unfortunately on the drive they get clocked by a security camera so

[1:11:45] Ezekiel Sims knows where they're at now that raises a good question why are they

[1:11:49] bringing the girls with them to the hospital these these are teenagers they

[1:11:52] could just leave them at home watching TV and it would be fine

[1:11:56] absolutely. Parties. Because they have to advance the plot in that direction absolutely makes no sense

[1:12:00] yeah parties I think they're worried about parties yeah they're worried about parties they're like we don't want a

[1:12:05] risky business situation breaking out here yep or weird science yeah we look

[1:12:10] we leave to take her to the hospital next thing you know you're creating

[1:12:12] people at the computer and there's barbarian bikers burning well yeah yeah

[1:12:17] we don't they don't need that yeah okay obviously when they come back in two

[1:12:19] days it's just like that project X party has happened like I wanted you don't

[1:12:23] even know any of any teenagers in town so they they get spotted by Sims who

[1:12:31] uses traffic light manipulation techniques to cause a traffic jam and he

[1:12:35] has him cornered Cassie shows up she goes over to Ben's house sees a puddle

[1:12:41] of water on the ground and and has a vision and knows exactly what's going on

[1:12:45] so she steals an ambulance and she drives it through a building and then

[1:12:50] smashes it I was unclear the mechanics of this yeah like she smashes her

[1:12:56] ambulance out exactly the right place and it looks like she like just goes

[1:12:59] through like a billboard yeah billboard in what Times Square I think yeah what

[1:13:03] how did she get up there what road is she on I'm assuming that this is like

[1:13:07] those buildings in in in cities in I think like in parts of China where the

[1:13:13] levels are all over the place and there's videos of this where you go in

[1:13:17] on the ground floor of a building and you go up a flight of stairs and suddenly

[1:13:20] you're on the 30th floor of the building on the other side and you go down and

[1:13:24] then suddenly you're on the hundredth floor of another building and then

[1:13:27] suddenly on the ground floor again as a foreign habit of New York you're aware

[1:13:32] that this is not true that's true and my experience in New York tells me that

[1:13:36] that's not the case pop out of it you know yeah Chinatown area of New York has

[1:13:42] these Chinese style level that's what you know where they've changed the

[1:13:46] geography of the island just for that part now maybe it's I mean maybe that it

[1:13:51] was a baby I'm giving them the folk that maybe it's a parking garage structure

[1:13:56] and she's able to go up a ramp and then come out but we don't see any of that I

[1:13:59] don't think yeah she's just driving in one place then somebody's driving out of

[1:14:02] a building through a billboard which also implies that behind every billboard

[1:14:06] is just gonna open open road space yeah yeah it's it's in case there's like a

[1:14:12] visiting basketball team that has to burst through it yeah yeah yeah or the

[1:14:15] Roadrunners around thank you Dan or the runners on a visiting basketball team as

[1:14:20] he did was in two different movies that's true so damn and Hoosiers thanks

[1:14:26] for listening them do you do you got any more movies that the Roadrunner was in

[1:14:30] where he plays basketball yeah blue chips okay and go on yeah what was the

[1:14:36] other one great the other Roadrunner basketball movie that he's in he's so

[1:14:41] he's taking up space and basketball is kind of a jam you know yeah and so but

[1:14:46] he's in space jam so if there's I think there's another one also that the

[1:14:50] Roadrunner plays basketball in and he got game that's what Spike Lee's he got

[1:14:57] so they I got a real Roadrunner on my on my tail um so they they escape in an

[1:15:08] ambulance they make it to a fireworks factory where they immediately start

[1:15:12] setting a bunch of fires the fireworks factory from earlier with it that's why

[1:15:16] she goes about it right I want I this so that makes sense then I I have a big

[1:15:21] problem with this climax I mean for a number of reasons but here's one problem

[1:15:25] Cassie takes them there because she has had this vision she's like I know what I

[1:15:31] need to do to make this work and then it doesn't happen like and so otherwise you

[1:15:38] would never go to a fireworks factory and then set the fireworks factory on

[1:15:42] fire as they do as a strategy yeah so but she's doing it cuz she knows it's

[1:15:47] gonna all work out but it doesn't work the way she wants it to so legally we

[1:15:51] are telling you not to set a fire what happens while you're making plans you

[1:15:56] know that's all I can say to Cassie yes so well also there's another if the

[1:16:00] spider guy they cut the spider he goes I wonder if I should tell her that every

[1:16:03] 20th vision is false just to test her she'll figure it out well that would

[1:16:07] certainly explain something else that's coming up but anyway we'll get to it

[1:16:10] yeah she knows she's involved that Pepsi Cola sign she needs to involve that you

[1:16:14] know yes yeah ours are sponsored by Pepsi's yeah again contractually they

[1:16:18] have to I mean if this movie is made in the 80s she would get stronger by

[1:16:22] drinking Pepsi like every time she would crack open a can of Pepsi and just chug it down

[1:16:27] yeah Dan's looking at my notes he's like dear God I hope this is almost done

[1:16:32] so Sims follows them to the fireworks factory things start exploding

[1:16:36] everywhere a firework rocket like flies into a brick wall and blows a giant hole

[1:16:41] through it again so badly edited nothing is making sense so they climb up to the

[1:16:47] roof they're they're able to like avoid they're able to like navigate all the

[1:16:51] explosions using Cassie's gift of foresight at one point Sims has climbed

[1:16:56] up on the roof of them and a rocket goes flying right at him and he bats it out

[1:17:01] of the way where it flies over and hits a nearby helicopter blowing it up

[1:17:06] these fireworks are astoundingly powerful yeah they're all surface-to-air missiles

[1:17:11] yeah let alone the fact that you should not have a fireworks warehouse in the

[1:17:14] middle of a heavily residential area as they do in this movie but the fact that

[1:17:19] these fireworks are in a city and they're like these are rockets like

[1:17:22] these are these are incredibly powerful you know these are on their way to the

[1:17:25] Ukrainian front these are not yeah I should have told her that the fireworks

[1:17:28] factory is now now munitions way yeah yeah there's a you know there's some

[1:17:33] fighting at one point all three of the girls are like hanging off of things for

[1:17:38] their life and Sims is like Madame Webb you can't save all three and then she

[1:17:43] like goes into a weird trance and then like ghost versions of herself connected

[1:17:47] by like weird umbilical cords like start to save all the girls and then that like

[1:17:52] stops almost immediately but that was pretty cool I'm like once you know the

[1:17:56] future and understand the web you one of your powers is that you'll be able to be

[1:17:59] in more than one place at at the same time which seems metaphorical like she's

[1:18:03] gonna know what yes but no it means she can actually project herself to

[1:18:07] different places yeah just as long as the ghost umbilical cords connect her

[1:18:11] this is something that it's one of things where it's like this power is a

[1:18:15] little too useful like I don't if if there was a sequel they're gonna have to

[1:18:18] dial this back luckily there will never be a sequel so you know that's too bad

[1:18:22] too bad because the last 20 minutes are setting up that sequel yeah Sims falls

[1:18:27] and gets smushed and dies Dakota Johnson falls in the water and then gets hit

[1:18:32] with a rocket go on let us not get over like there's a exchange where like she's

[1:18:39] like turns out it was always me that was gonna kill you like his his like it

[1:18:44] was not these three girls I'm like what the fuck movie like you could like maybe

[1:18:50] you could pull this rug do this rug pull if you offer some clever reason but

[1:18:56] we've been set up the whole time like this is a prophecy this is how he's

[1:19:00] gonna die like do a little bit more than just like psych here's here's I think

[1:19:06] what they were planning was I think she's gonna turn out to be wrong and

[1:19:09] there would be a future movie where Ezekiel comes back and we do see him

[1:19:12] fight the now could be could be could be but but the way it happens in the movie

[1:19:17] and again because there will be no sequel to this it does seem like it will

[1:19:20] make me that she's like maybe she's like she should have said like uh dreams

[1:19:25] aren't prophecies dumbass and then she could have killed him like that might

[1:19:28] have done it but also the fact that she she is so she's like had a vision of

[1:19:31] that big s from the Pepsi sign falling on him so she keeps angling him towards

[1:19:35] the s and it's like well superhero shouldn't be trying to kill somebody

[1:19:38] like I understand setting a trap to catch him or whatever or knock him out

[1:19:41] but the idea she's like that's what spiders do I gotta do this right or he

[1:19:45] won't he won't die and I've got to kill this guy it's so she's so cartoonishly

[1:19:49] looking at the s while she's backing him up into the s that I feel like he

[1:19:52] should be able to be like deadliest letter she's like wait wait oh okay

[1:20:00] He does get smushed, brought to you by Pepsi.

[1:20:06] She falls into the water, a stray rocket flies underwater and explodes in her face, blinding

[1:20:12] her.

[1:20:13] She's saved by the girls.

[1:20:14] They use the CPR that she taught them earlier.

[1:20:17] Yeah, we look, man, we're in the home stretch here.

[1:20:20] Peter Parker is born.

[1:20:23] She is in a hospital room and the girls are led into the room and she's like, they can

[1:20:28] come in and see me.

[1:20:29] They're all mine.

[1:20:30] They're my family.

[1:20:31] And you're like, what?

[1:20:32] That's a weird turn.

[1:20:33] We get a little bit of a flash forward.

[1:20:36] This is this is my stand up and cheer moment because we see her in this like mechanized

[1:20:42] wheelchair for some reason, wearing cool sunglasses, sunglasses and she's making this

[1:20:47] little smile like the like the world's youngest grandma.

[1:20:51] And she's it's so funny and like we're talking about an actress who is like at least seventy

[1:20:57] five percent eye acting and they're like, yeah, let's put on some blue blockers so we

[1:21:02] don't see those those eyes.

[1:21:03] This really feels like I mean, I don't know what happened like this feels like reshoot

[1:21:08] number twelve and she is just so tired of it all to me.

[1:21:12] And she's doing this vision like she's doing this version of herself where like, OK, now

[1:21:18] that she's in full Madam Web powers, even though, you know, she's been blinded and she's

[1:21:23] in this chair like she is totally at peace and she's like so blissed out.

[1:21:27] But she knows her role.

[1:21:29] Most sort of bored, blissed out.

[1:21:31] You can see.

[1:21:32] And these sunglasses, I swear to God, it's like they sent someone to the store and be

[1:21:37] like, pick the ones that will look the silliest.

[1:21:41] There's there's this is they do this stutter step, right?

[1:21:44] Like there's two there's two.

[1:21:46] There's like you see her in the wheelchair before you see her again with are those the

[1:21:50] same glasses, sunglasses or those silly glasses the same time like they it is.

[1:21:55] But it does feel like they these do feel like reshoot.

[1:21:58] See, my guess is that because I kept hearing when this movie was in production, I kept

[1:22:01] hearing this isn't going to be a superhero movie.

[1:22:03] This is going to be more of a suspense thriller.

[1:22:05] This is going to be more of a like a almost a 90s style suspense thriller.

[1:22:09] And my guess is that they were like they had maybe a cut of it even.

[1:22:12] And they were like, oh, is she not going to ever look like the fucking character from

[1:22:16] the comics?

[1:22:16] Because we need that to happen.

[1:22:18] And so they had this first ending and they're like, is that good?

[1:22:21] She has these big sunglasses and she's in a wheelchair and they're like, no, put her

[1:22:24] in like a red leather jacket.

[1:22:25] What are you doing?

[1:22:26] You know?

[1:22:27] So, Stuart, what happens?

[1:22:28] They're arguing about the takeout food that they're going to eat, right?

[1:22:31] The girls.

[1:22:31] Yeah.

[1:22:33] Hey, why don't you instead of queuing me up?

[1:22:35] Why don't you answer your own prompt?

[1:22:36] I'm trying.

[1:22:37] They're OK.

[1:22:37] So they're there because I'm not entirely sure.

[1:22:40] So this scene is not a prophecy here, right?

[1:22:42] Or is it like so the girls show up?

[1:22:44] They have Chinese food.

[1:22:45] They're like, we we got you this thing.

[1:22:48] And she's like, of course, you knew that it was my favorite or some shit.

[1:22:50] It's like all like all these dumb ass lines about like, you can see the future.

[1:22:55] Yeah.

[1:22:55] And Maddie can't stop eating.

[1:22:57] You know, she loves to eat.

[1:22:58] She's like gesundheit onion.

[1:22:59] It goes, huh?

[1:23:00] Achoo.

[1:23:01] Oh, thanks.

[1:23:02] Like now it's so great.

[1:23:03] It's like the sitcom version of the of the Madam Web movie.

[1:23:06] And then she she flashes forward again to seeing them all in costume and her in her

[1:23:11] costume.

[1:23:12] And she have like a spider on her fingers.

[1:23:14] I'm trying to remember exactly how it is.

[1:23:16] It's like suddenly it becomes the like this movie was like, all right, this is this is

[1:23:21] kind of like a realistic suspense thriller with superhero elements.

[1:23:24] And then in the last couple of minutes, you're like, fuck it.

[1:23:26] Let's just go crazy.

[1:23:27] Let's get come on.

[1:23:28] Let's just they're all in crazy costumes.

[1:23:30] They're all there.

[1:23:31] It looks like the direct to video Madam Web movie that would have come out in 1998.

[1:23:35] Like, let's just do this.

[1:23:36] Yeah.

[1:23:37] Yeah, it's it's a very silly little ending that I think adds a fun punch to what was a

[1:23:43] very silly movie.

[1:23:45] Thumbs up from Stewart.

[1:23:46] I like it so deeply, insultingly that this movie said you now that you've seen 98 minutes

[1:23:55] of this, you we will the next movie we make will have all the superhero costumes and fighting

[1:24:01] that we continuously teasing and promising throughout this movie and never once delivered

[1:24:06] at no not until the I've never seen I've never seen a superhero spend the entire movie

[1:24:12] figuring out how to use their powers.

[1:24:14] Usually the the scene where they're like, oh, I get it.

[1:24:17] I can use them is like in the first 30 minutes.

[1:24:20] And then it's like a whole hour and a half of fun spiderweb slinging and bullet blocking.

[1:24:26] This one just slowly gets longer premonitions.

[1:24:29] Yeah.

[1:24:29] End of the movie.

[1:24:30] Does anything actually happen regarding superpowers?

[1:24:32] It was.

[1:24:33] And then to be at the end of it.

[1:24:34] OK, next movie.

[1:24:35] Yeah.

[1:24:38] We laid the foundation, the very necessary foundation that these characters would not

[1:24:43] have worked without.

[1:24:44] Now that we've laid it, get well, because you Adam Webb to Spider Girls is going to

[1:24:48] blow your mind with all the costumes, the characters, the power.

[1:24:52] Yeah, it it feels like a like an hour, like a feature length Kickstarter, like demo reel

[1:24:59] where they're like, hey, if you back this project, you'll actually get these costumes.

[1:25:03] Maybe it would be so funny if they made the sequel.

[1:25:05] And the first sequel is like, OK, hold on.

[1:25:07] Let's for 1993.

[1:25:09] All right.

[1:25:09] Let's just get resituated and all the girls are babies.

[1:25:14] OK, OK.

[1:25:17] Then they do a third movie in the first couple of minutes.

[1:25:19] They're opposing the costumes.

[1:25:20] They're like, you know what?

[1:25:21] It'd be a lot easier if we didn't wear these costumes.

[1:25:23] We weren't restricted by all this rubber or whatever.

[1:25:25] Just regular clothes.

[1:25:26] Yeah.

[1:25:27] Let's cap off.

[1:25:28] Also, I got to finish grad school.

[1:25:29] I'm nervous.

[1:25:31] So that's two hours of the cap off.

[1:25:34] None of us really had like a traumatic experience that forced us to give it have a reason to

[1:25:38] stop the crime.

[1:25:39] Like, so why are we doing this?

[1:25:41] Like, why are we doing this?

[1:25:43] He's hanging out.

[1:25:44] Yeah.

[1:25:44] Our traumatic experience was watching our friend trick a guy into getting smushed.

[1:25:50] Cap off our discussion in the traditional way, which is, of course, final judgments,

[1:25:55] whether it's a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie or movie kind of like I'm going to say

[1:26:00] for me, it was a good, bad movie.

[1:26:02] It harkened back to the original Marvel film, Howard the Duck, in the sense that like the

[1:26:09] things that I enjoyed about it are inextricable from the things that are janky and weird about

[1:26:14] it.

[1:26:16] Like there's some stuff in here that like I really actually had fun with kind of Dakota

[1:26:21] Johnson's attitude, like the weird sort of hangout vibe of some of it.

[1:26:25] And I sort of enjoyed the feeling like we've talked about it before.

[1:26:28] Now that superhero movies are the only thing that gets made, at least, although less now,

[1:26:33] at least you can see something that's a little different.

[1:26:37] Like this harkens back to like an earlier day when people are like, I don't know what

[1:26:41] a superhero movie is to you.

[1:26:43] Maybe it can be this.

[1:26:45] So there's that strangeness.

[1:26:46] But I also laughed a lot at stuff that was just not working.

[1:26:51] That was my feeling.

[1:26:53] Elliot, what about you?

[1:26:55] I also would call this a good, bad movie.

[1:26:56] I feel like we haven't quite gotten across the good, bad tone of it, which this does

[1:27:02] feel like a throwback movie, not necessarily in the way they intended, I think.

[1:27:05] But it feels like this is a 90s superhero movie.

[1:27:08] They don't know what superheroes are popular.

[1:27:09] They don't know what people like about superheroes.

[1:27:12] They don't know what makes them fun for fans.

[1:27:14] So they take the name and they're like, I guess we'll just apply it to a different kind

[1:27:18] of movie.

[1:27:18] Like, you know, for a recent live show, we watched the 90s Spawn movie.

[1:27:23] That episode is available only in the bonus content.

[1:27:24] If you become a Maximum Fun member at maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:27:27] But this feels like more like that.

[1:27:29] Where are you guys with these bugs?

[1:27:30] This man knows what he's doing.

[1:27:33] This feels more like that, where it's like the same way that years ago, I think it was

[1:27:37] Golan Globus wanted to make a Spider-Man movie, and they thought that it was like Wolfman.

[1:27:41] So they kept wanting to make a movie about a kid who gets bitten by a spider and is turning

[1:27:44] into a giant spider.

[1:27:46] And that never got made.

[1:27:47] But it feels like this sits in that universe much better than it does in the current Marvel

[1:27:50] universe.

[1:27:51] So, yeah, I think it's a good, bad movie.

[1:27:53] Go out and check it out.

[1:27:53] You have a great time.

[1:27:54] Jumin, I think you're raging the most.

[1:27:57] Let's go to you.

[1:27:57] Oh, I hate it.

[1:27:58] This is very bad.

[1:27:59] I really want to get across how bad the dialogue was throughout this movie that made every scene

[1:28:06] so much more worse than fun.

[1:28:07] They had this very awful, worst type of Marvel.

[1:28:15] The worst thing to me about Marvel movies is this kind of quippy, snappy dialogue that

[1:28:20] characters always click into.

[1:28:22] And they did that so bizarrely and jankily in scenes where the girls were in the woods,

[1:28:29] where they have just seen a very traumatic event and avoided being killed.

[1:28:31] They immediately snap into this kind of insulting line.

[1:28:36] Let me guess.

[1:28:37] Your dad is a hedge fund owner and your mom runs a Met Gala.

[1:28:41] Well, let me tell you something.

[1:28:44] You are a dorky girl.

[1:28:45] And they're like, don't say that.

[1:28:46] Don't try to high five me.

[1:28:47] That's not cool.

[1:28:48] All this kind of.

[1:28:49] And then they'll switch into this.

[1:28:51] All of a sudden, they'll be like, you know, my mom is undocumented.

[1:28:55] That's why I'm here.

[1:28:57] Within an hour of meeting each other, they're like, we're sisters.

[1:28:59] We're in this together.

[1:29:00] All of us.

[1:29:01] At the end, when they're like, Cassie, Cassie, oh, no.

[1:29:04] It's like, well, you've known this woman for less than a day.

[1:29:06] You're saying you're saying that speaks to a certain emotional instability that it should

[1:29:10] be more troubling than endearing.

[1:29:12] Or just an emotion.

[1:29:13] It speaks to an unrealistic emotional wavelength.

[1:29:16] Yeah, yeah.

[1:29:17] Yes.

[1:29:18] And because they the thing that Marvel cannot write characters that are funny because they

[1:29:24] do things in character.

[1:29:26] So they have to write characters that are always like half a foot out and try to make

[1:29:30] jokes.

[1:29:31] And I think the worst example of that was in that scene where that native wise man said

[1:29:35] that the thing about the you have to you can't see clearly until you look back in the past.

[1:29:40] And and Dakota Johnson said something like that sounds like the worst therapy session

[1:29:43] I've ever been to.

[1:29:45] That sounds like the worst therapy session I've ever been to.

[1:29:47] And that, to me, is like Marvel, if you can just if the characters can just be in this

[1:29:52] world and not constantly having to comment on this world, it would be a lot easier to

[1:29:57] have fun with it than if I have to sit there.

[1:30:00] Is Marvel like winks at me being like,

[1:30:01] hey, I know this is kind of weird.

[1:30:02] This is a different strain of Marvel.

[1:30:04] This is not the Marvel proper.

[1:30:07] Yeah.

[1:30:07] This is like produced in conjunction with Marvel

[1:30:11] basically just because they co-own the property

[1:30:14] with Sony right now.

[1:30:15] But-

[1:30:16] This to me feels like a lot of Marvel movies

[1:30:17] have this level of-

[1:30:18] No, I think that's true.

[1:30:20] I will say when Marvel movies do that well,

[1:30:23] I think it works very well.

[1:30:24] And that's the kind of thing that since the 1960s

[1:30:27] has differentiated Marvel as a world from say DC

[1:30:30] is that the characters always were like slightly winkier.

[1:30:33] You know, it was a little bit more like,

[1:30:35] can you believe this?

[1:30:36] But I agree that-

[1:30:37] Yeah, yeah.

[1:30:37] I'm not super serious like Booster Gold.

[1:30:39] Well, Booster Gold is from many years later

[1:30:42] when DC had ingested some of that.

[1:30:44] But compared to the DC stories of the 1960s

[1:30:47] which took themselves very seriously,

[1:30:49] the Marvel ones always had that Stanley like,

[1:30:50] well, folks, can you believe the web swing

[1:30:52] has gotten himself into trouble again this time?

[1:30:54] Oh boy, get ready.

[1:30:55] Actions are coming, you know, the-

[1:30:57] I don't-

[1:30:58] But-

[1:30:59] I don't mind that in the situation though,

[1:31:01] but for the characters to be so meta and self-aware-

[1:31:03] Well, I think a little bit of it goes a long way.

[1:31:05] And now there's too much of it

[1:31:06] even in the Marvel proper movies.

[1:31:08] But I was gonna say with Dan too,

[1:31:09] this, as Dan was saying,

[1:31:10] this is the Sony kind of like faux Marvel universe.

[1:31:13] Yeah, this is the knockoffs that you get at the outlet.

[1:31:16] This is the Spider-Man without Spider-Man

[1:31:18] version of the Marvel universe.

[1:31:19] They nailed that annoying banter perfectly then.

[1:31:21] They really got that element of it.

[1:31:22] I will say the only part of the movie I liked

[1:31:24] was the credits,

[1:31:26] which had the Cranberries Dream playing over it,

[1:31:28] which to me is like always the end credit song

[1:31:31] for a 90s action movie.

[1:31:32] It's kind of a movie that,

[1:31:33] it's kind of a song that plays when like

[1:31:35] Tom Cruise and Ving Rhames are like,

[1:31:37] we got through the bank, we did it, we did it.

[1:31:40] And I seen that play, I was like, oh yeah,

[1:31:41] this does feel like a late 90s, early 2000s movie.

[1:31:44] That was it.

[1:31:45] Bad, bad until the end credits.

[1:31:46] Let's close it out with some,

[1:31:47] I suspect positivity from Stuart.

[1:31:49] Oh boy, man, I love this shit.

[1:31:51] You know, I watched two Venom movies

[1:31:54] and a Morbius movie and I suffered through them

[1:31:56] just so I could get Madam Web.

[1:31:57] Like, it's so, like, it's not the kind of movie

[1:32:02] I would recommend to say a non-broken movie viewer.

[1:32:06] Yes.

[1:32:07] But it is, there's so much joy in the like

[1:32:10] strangeness of it and how much of it doesn't work,

[1:32:13] but I don't know.

[1:32:14] I'm a big fan.

[1:32:15] I think Madam Web is a solid good, bad movie.

[1:32:18] Oh wow.

[1:32:19] Check it out.

[1:32:20] This is getting you excited for Kraven,

[1:32:22] the next in the Spider-Man without Spider-Man universe.

[1:32:25] I mean, it's tough.

[1:32:26] I am not.

[1:32:28] I mean, who's the hunk in that one?

[1:32:32] Who's the hard body?

[1:32:34] I don't know.

[1:32:35] Is it Logan Marshall Green?

[1:32:36] Is that, it's a three-namer.

[1:32:38] Oh, is it him?

[1:32:40] I don't know.

[1:32:41] No, it's Aaron Taylor Johnson.

[1:32:42] Another one.

[1:32:43] Yeah, Aaron Taylor Johnson.

[1:32:45] Yeah, but yeah, a hot, hard body.

[1:32:47] I'm not, I don't know.

[1:32:49] I'm not as intrigued by his range or lack thereof as I am.

[1:32:55] I'm not as excited about seeing him in a superhero movie

[1:32:57] as I was when I heard Dakota Johnson

[1:32:59] was going to have to appear concerned.

[1:33:02] But does it help you to know that Russell Crowe

[1:33:05] will be appearing as Nikolai Kravinoff,

[1:33:07] Kraven's estranged father?

[1:33:08] Okay, I'm excited about that.

[1:33:09] Which means he has to do an accent.

[1:33:11] He has to do an accent.

[1:33:12] You see the trailer?

[1:33:13] He does have an accent.

[1:33:14] Fuck yeah.

[1:33:15] Okay, I changed my mind.

[1:33:16] I'm excited for it.

[1:33:22] Oh boy, we're having so much fun on the show today,

[1:33:24] aren't we, beloved listener?

[1:33:25] Yes, well, the fun is only gonna get more fun

[1:33:27] because I'm gonna tell you more

[1:33:28] about all the great stuff you get

[1:33:29] when you go to maximumfun.org slash join.

[1:33:32] Oh, the maximum amount of fun.

[1:33:34] The maximum amount of fun.

[1:33:35] Extra strength fun.

[1:33:36] So this is the maximum.

[1:33:37] If you have more fun than this, you will die.

[1:33:39] So don't worry, we figured it out.

[1:33:40] Don't have more fun than this.

[1:33:42] The maximum fun.

[1:33:43] Now don't think that when you support the Flophouse

[1:33:45] and Maximum Fun that all you get

[1:33:47] is the same podcast you're already listening to.

[1:33:49] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[1:33:50] No, my sweet friends.

[1:33:51] No, no, no, no, no.

[1:33:52] We have made special things for members.

[1:33:54] Wondrous things.

[1:33:56] Precious things.

[1:33:57] It's called bonus content.

[1:34:00] And there's many hours of exclusive bonus content

[1:34:03] that only members can access.

[1:34:05] This year, we are adding a ton of bonus content.

[1:34:08] We've got the exclusive audio

[1:34:09] from our Los Angeles Spawn live show.

[1:34:11] Spawn, I say, sounding the most like I'm from New Jersey

[1:34:14] than I've ever sounded before.

[1:34:15] We're doing a trilogy of episodes

[1:34:17] highlighting the work of Schlockmaster director

[1:34:19] Graydon Clark.

[1:34:20] We're doing, yes, Joysticks,

[1:34:22] featuring the greatest character in film, King Vidiot.

[1:34:24] Lombada, The Forbidden Dance.

[1:34:25] And then what's the other one we're doing, Dan?

[1:34:27] Stargames?

[1:34:27] Stargames is what I was looking at.

[1:34:29] Okay, and I had forgotten it.

[1:34:31] I wasn't quite sure.

[1:34:32] It's got a clown on the cover

[1:34:34] in a little like Phantom Zone triangle.

[1:34:37] I'm intrigued.

[1:34:38] I'm there, I'm there.

[1:34:39] These are whole Flophouse episodes.

[1:34:41] You will only hear if you go to maximumfun.org

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[1:35:23] $10 a month level means the $10 a month pins are back.

[1:35:26] Yes, all members at the $10 a month level

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[1:35:30] It's a beautiful rendition

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[1:35:33] saying his famous catchphrase,

[1:35:35] I'm a bad widdle boy.

[1:35:37] I love the way it came out.

[1:35:38] Werner looks like such a little stinker.

[1:35:39] It's beautiful.

[1:35:40] You're gonna want this pin.

[1:35:41] You can get it for joining at $10 a month.

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[1:35:56] It's a huge tote bag.

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[1:36:02] My wife has a giant like burlap bag of rice

[1:36:07] that someone turned into a tote bag.

[1:36:10] This is bigger than that bag.

[1:36:12] This is bigger.

[1:36:12] It's enormous.

[1:36:13] Anyway, it goes all the way up to $200 a month

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[1:36:21] But in addition, we've got a stretch goal, guys.

[1:36:24] A stretch goal means that if we reach a certain number

[1:36:27] of new or upgrading members.

[1:36:29] Thank you, Dan.

[1:36:30] Dan put some stretching in

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[1:36:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:36:35] If we reach 2,000 new or upgrading members for this drive,

[1:36:39] we're gonna bring back our famous raffles.

[1:36:41] That's right.

[1:36:43] From the names of members,

[1:36:44] people to send out original Dan McCoy drawings.

[1:36:47] Are these gonna be commissions, Dan?

[1:36:48] Are you gonna ask them what they want

[1:36:50] and then give them what they want?

[1:36:51] Yeah, I will give them what they want.

[1:36:53] They'll steer them toward Pregnant Sonic.

[1:36:55] I reserve a certain right of refusal,

[1:36:58] but pretty much, yeah, whatever.

[1:37:01] You heard him, folks.

[1:37:02] Pregnant Sonic, ask him for it.

[1:37:04] So you can get from me comic books from me,

[1:37:07] signed by me, some of my original books signed for you

[1:37:10] and sent to you.

[1:37:11] And Stuart, I think, has a package

[1:37:12] of Hinterlands and Minis merchandise.

[1:37:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1:37:15] I'll send along T-shirts from one of my two bars,

[1:37:18] Minis or Hinterlands.

[1:37:20] You just say which and tell me the size

[1:37:22] and it flies through the mail and to your mail slot.

[1:37:27] That's how the mail works, yep.

[1:37:29] I mean, there's some extra steps in there, I think,

[1:37:31] but Stuart's not gonna be delivering them by drone.

[1:37:35] So please keep in mind that you get additional great stuff,

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[1:37:57] is a truly wonderful, magical feeling.

[1:37:59] And now, as the industries that used to provide jobs

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[1:38:49] So please share that pride with me,

[1:38:50] help keep our show alive

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[1:38:54] and pledging your support for as little as $5 a month.

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[1:39:00] at the movie theater per month.

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[1:39:07] I'll be back with more MaxFun Drive stuff

[1:39:09] later in the episode.

[1:39:10] But now let's get back to the regular flop stuff.

[1:39:14] Dan, take it away.

[1:39:16] Let us move on to letters from listeners like you,

[1:39:20] the listeners.

[1:39:21] Hey, this one's from, who is it from?

[1:39:24] Nathan.

[1:39:25] Nathan, last name withheld.

[1:39:27] And Nathan writes, you mentioned Winnie the Pooh

[1:39:29] and it reminded me that I've been wanting to share

[1:39:31] an experience I had with my kids several years ago.

[1:39:34] It started with me instantly deciding

[1:39:35] they could watch the Tigger movie.

[1:39:37] They like Winnie the Pooh,

[1:39:38] and though I didn't remember the plot details,

[1:39:39] I figured it would be 90 minutes of cheap entertainment.

[1:39:43] Smash cut to me giving a deadpan look

[1:39:45] to the invisible camera as we finished the movie

[1:39:47] and two of my children are weeping

[1:39:49] because Tigger never found his family.

[1:39:52] I then tried to explain the trope of the,

[1:39:54] quote, inherently unique character looks for his family

[1:39:58] and finds that his friends are.

[1:40:00] As my daughter angrily wailed to my

[1:40:02] wife in the other room, his friends

[1:40:04] was his family the whole time.

[1:40:06] It hit me that this was a flop

[1:40:08] worthy story.

[1:40:09] Although the message that friends

[1:40:11] can be family is a great one.

[1:40:12] In that moment, I wish that for

[1:40:14] once, Tigger, Gonzo, or King Kong

[1:40:17] could just actually find their

[1:40:18] goddamn family.

[1:40:20] You've all answered many questions

[1:40:22] about movie tropes in the past.

[1:40:23] I guess the slight twist on this

[1:40:25] one, are there good movie tropes

[1:40:27] that you've seen in the past?

[1:40:29] Movie tropes that you would be okay

[1:40:31] with never seeing again.

[1:40:32] Keep up the wall to wall flopping.

[1:40:35] Nathan, currently 68 miles east of

[1:40:37] Topeka, Kansas.

[1:40:39] I mean, I think thoughts on it.

[1:40:41] All right, okay.

[1:40:42] I think the trailers for

[1:40:44] the new Godzilla X Kong movie.

[1:40:48] It looks like there's a bunch of

[1:40:49] Kongs in it.

[1:40:50] So he's going to find his family.

[1:40:51] There's like little ones and

[1:40:53] like a big evil one.

[1:40:55] And he, I mean,

[1:40:55] we all know his real family.

[1:40:57] His real brother, that's Godzilla,

[1:40:59] baby.

[1:40:59] Yeah, that's why they're running

[1:41:01] from an explosion or something.

[1:41:02] And they're- I love it.

[1:41:02] I love it.

[1:41:03] Guys, I love it.

[1:41:05] I saw that trailer and I was like,

[1:41:06] I hope I can watch this in

[1:41:07] the right spirit of,

[1:41:08] this is goofy nonsense.

[1:41:10] He's got a truck in and

[1:41:12] you're like, man, look at those

[1:41:14] thighs, mama.

[1:41:15] The idea of Godzilla running or

[1:41:17] moving fast is such a change for

[1:41:19] the character.

[1:41:20] But to answer the question,

[1:41:22] do you have one, Dan?

[1:41:23] Well, I don't have a great one.

[1:41:26] I was thinking of like,

[1:41:27] there's a trope that I enjoyed

[1:41:29] very much the first time I saw it

[1:41:31] in Raiders of the Lost Ark,

[1:41:33] where the character is held at

[1:41:35] gunpoint, you hear a gunshot,

[1:41:37] you think the character has been

[1:41:39] shot and it turns out it's someone

[1:41:41] else shooting the person who is

[1:41:43] threatening our hero, in that case,

[1:41:46] Karen Allen, of course,

[1:41:48] shooting the Nazi who, or

[1:41:49] maybe the Sherpa just,

[1:41:51] that the Nazis hired who want to-

[1:41:53] He can be both, he can be both.

[1:41:55] He can be both,

[1:41:56] he can be a Nazi Sherpa.

[1:41:57] And that is, it's Spielberg,

[1:41:59] was the first time I saw that

[1:42:01] trope, it may predate him, but

[1:42:03] that was like the best staged

[1:42:05] version of it that I've seen.

[1:42:06] And so it's not like I dislike it,

[1:42:09] but now it's just been done so

[1:42:10] much, I'm like, yeah, it's not,

[1:42:12] they didn't shoot the guy that's

[1:42:14] our hero, I get it.

[1:42:15] I'm not surprised that someone else

[1:42:18] is going to pop out of nowhere

[1:42:19] having shot.

[1:42:20] I have a similar thing where, so

[1:42:22] I think the first time I saw this

[1:42:23] was in The Dark Knight,

[1:42:25] when Joker gets captured, but

[1:42:26] he wanted to get captured,

[1:42:28] it's part of his plan.

[1:42:29] And then I saw, I think,

[1:42:30] seven movies or something in a row

[1:42:32] after that, where the bad guy gets

[1:42:34] captured on purpose as part of his

[1:42:35] plan, and I was like, this no longer

[1:42:37] counts as a twist when I expect it

[1:42:39] to come.

[1:42:40] Like in Oppenheimer, when

[1:42:41] Oppenheimer got captured, and

[1:42:43] it was all part of his plan.

[1:42:44] Just so he could talk shit to

[1:42:46] Robert Downey Jr., okay, whatever

[1:42:48] movie.

[1:42:48] But it feels like that to me,

[1:42:50] that's another one where I was

[1:42:52] like, the first time I saw it,

[1:42:53] I was like, that's a good twist.

[1:42:55] And then it showed up in,

[1:42:57] which James Bond movie was it,

[1:42:58] with Javier Bardem?

[1:42:59] But like, it was in the Star Trek

[1:43:03] Beyond.

[1:43:03] Beyond Benedict.

[1:43:05] It was not Star Trek, but

[1:43:06] Into Darkness.

[1:43:07] Yeah, it just shows into so many

[1:43:09] different movies, and I was like,

[1:43:11] all right, okay, so this is the new

[1:43:13] thing du jour that all the movies

[1:43:15] do, and I quickly got very tired of

[1:43:17] it, so that's the one for me.

[1:43:18] I would be okay never seeing it

[1:43:20] again, but it is a fun idea,

[1:43:22] the first time, as a twist in a movie.

[1:43:24] Yeah, I mean, a trope where you have

[1:43:26] twins, and then they get involved in

[1:43:28] some kind of erotic series of

[1:43:30] manipulations and twists.

[1:43:32] Actually, no, I want to see a lot

[1:43:34] more of those.

[1:43:35] That's a trope I feel like you could

[1:43:37] do more of, yeah, yeah, you could do

[1:43:39] more of, yeah.

[1:43:39] How about when the quiet wimp turns

[1:43:42] out to be super tough, or when the

[1:43:45] granny starts rapping, I love that.

[1:43:48] Ugh, that, yeah, I love that.

[1:43:50] That's one I hate too, the one where

[1:43:52] it's like, that person can do that,

[1:43:54] which goes at least as far back as

[1:43:56] the Errol Flynn Robin Hood, when Fryer

[1:43:58] Tuck turns out to be really good

[1:44:00] fighting, yeah, that I'm not a huge

[1:44:01] fan, or like in the Bratz movie, when

[1:44:03] the nerdy guy turns out to know

[1:44:05] martial arts, you don't need that

[1:44:07] stuff, it's enough of that.

[1:44:09] Yeah.

[1:44:09] Boy, I couldn't, actually, when I was

[1:44:12] thinking about this, I was trying to

[1:44:14] think, what are tropes that I can

[1:44:16] think of that I could use in a movie?

[1:44:19] What are tropes that I can think of

[1:44:21] that I like, and maybe think,

[1:44:23] actually, it would be nice if there

[1:44:25] was a rule that said that if you

[1:44:26] were to engage, if you were to write

[1:44:28] a trope in a movie, you had to very

[1:44:30] explicitly name the trope.

[1:44:32] So if there was a Legend of Bagger

[1:44:34] Vance kind of situation, the white

[1:44:36] character would have to say, thank

[1:44:38] God, the magical Negro is here to

[1:44:40] help me out, that would be a lot

[1:44:41] more helpful to be like, I know what

[1:44:43] I'm about to see now.

[1:44:45] It's like in every movie that's like

[1:44:46] Groundhog Day, where they don't say,

[1:44:48] Groundhog Day, what's happening?

[1:44:50] Yes, yeah, this is, yeah, you can see,

[1:44:51] well, there'll be a twist later, maybe,

[1:44:53] but mostly it's just going to be this.

[1:44:54] It's Groundhog Day.

[1:44:55] The one that came to mind just now is

[1:44:57] also, and I don't know if this is a

[1:44:59] trope I like, actually, this might be

[1:45:01] just something I'm tired of seeing,

[1:45:02] where the character, heroes in a movie

[1:45:04] will be mowing down the cannon fodder

[1:45:06] of the villain, just destroying them.

[1:45:07] And then when it's time to kill

[1:45:09] the villain, they're like, no,

[1:45:10] because we're heroes, we don't do that.

[1:45:12] Like that, most recently, I saw that

[1:45:14] in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, and

[1:45:15] I was like, oh, so you'll just kill

[1:45:17] everyone who works for the high

[1:45:18] evolutionary, but the high evolutionary,

[1:45:20] the bad guy, who's causing all the

[1:45:21] trouble, you're a hero, so

[1:45:23] you can't touch him.

[1:45:24] Or in Rise of Skywalker, where he's

[1:45:25] like, the emperor's like, Rey, if you

[1:45:28] kill me now, you'll become a bad guy.

[1:45:30] And she's like, I guess I can't.

[1:45:31] I guess I'll just kill the thousands

[1:45:33] of child slaves that were forced to be

[1:45:35] in your army.

[1:45:36] Like, terrible, take out the bad guy.

[1:45:39] There's also that call to morality

[1:45:44] that the villain makes when they're

[1:45:45] like, but what kind of a hero are you

[1:45:48] after you've killed so

[1:45:49] many people in your quest?

[1:45:51] I was like, yeah, well,

[1:45:52] you sent those people.

[1:45:54] I didn't kill them on my own.

[1:45:56] There was an army that I had to-

[1:45:57] Just hang out, and

[1:45:58] I'm like, you know what I feel like.

[1:46:00] Yeah, you sent them in my way.

[1:46:01] I'm not the bad guy here.

[1:46:03] Yeah, I guess I'd like to see

[1:46:04] a villain say,

[1:46:05] we're very different, you and I.

[1:46:06] We don't have a lot in common.

[1:46:07] Yeah.

[1:46:08] We think different things and

[1:46:09] we act in different ways.

[1:46:11] In many ways, it makes sense that we'd

[1:46:12] be on opposing sides of this issue.

[1:46:14] Though we both believe that we are

[1:46:15] right, in the end,

[1:46:16] you're probably more right,

[1:46:18] because I'm the bad guy.

[1:46:19] It's certainly easier to make

[1:46:21] an argument for your side of the issue.

[1:46:23] You know what, you convinced me.

[1:46:27] I'm not going to be a bad guy anymore.

[1:46:28] And the hero's like,

[1:46:29] this worked out great.

[1:46:30] This is fantastic.

[1:46:31] Boy, I wish we had did this before I

[1:46:32] put you into the slowly descending

[1:46:35] into lava trap that I can reverse.

[1:46:38] Classy hero move.

[1:46:40] This next is from John,

[1:46:41] last name withheld.

[1:46:42] John with no H, maybe it's John Stewart,

[1:46:45] who knows?

[1:46:45] Could be, would be unlike him,

[1:46:47] but it's possible.

[1:46:48] Howdy, floppers.

[1:46:50] Yeah, that sounds like John.

[1:46:51] That does sound like John Stewart.

[1:46:52] Yeah, exactly what you always say.

[1:46:53] Do it in his voice.

[1:46:54] Do it in his voice.

[1:46:56] Over the last few years,

[1:46:57] we've been hearing about Marvel fatigue

[1:46:59] and the last blackluster response to

[1:47:01] several big budget blockbusters.

[1:47:03] And it has me thinking.

[1:47:04] BBB, big budget blockbusters.

[1:47:07] In the 60s,

[1:47:08] there was a fatigue over big event

[1:47:09] movies which led to a boom of smaller

[1:47:12] budget or independent movies like

[1:47:13] The Graduate and Easy Rider.

[1:47:15] This was coupled with more eyes on

[1:47:17] foreign fare like The Battle of Algiers,

[1:47:19] The Bicycle Thief and Blow Up.

[1:47:21] In the 90s, this happened again with

[1:47:23] movies like Reservoir Dogs, Clerks and

[1:47:25] Slacker along with a boom for

[1:47:26] foreign movies like Chunk King Express

[1:47:28] and John Woo films.

[1:47:29] My question is,

[1:47:30] do you think we're in line for

[1:47:32] another boom period in foreign or

[1:47:34] independent cinema with films like

[1:47:35] Everything's Got Talent,

[1:47:37] Everything, Everywhere All at Once, X,

[1:47:39] Sheba Baby and more gaining a lot of

[1:47:41] traction as independent films along

[1:47:43] with foreign films like Drive My Car,

[1:47:45] The Worst Person in the World and

[1:47:47] Titane, I don't know that Titane was,

[1:47:49] the monster hit that-

[1:47:51] No.

[1:47:51] I mean, there's a monster in it.

[1:47:52] It's a monster.

[1:47:53] There's a metal baby.

[1:47:54] I think there's a chance we can see

[1:47:56] another interesting time in films soon.

[1:47:59] I also love mentioning Drive My Car and

[1:48:01] Titane in the 60s.

[1:48:03] So what do you think?

[1:48:04] Very similar movies,

[1:48:05] very similar feelings they evoke, yeah.

[1:48:07] So what do you think?

[1:48:08] Is this possible or

[1:48:09] am I living in the film lover's bubble?

[1:48:11] Keep on flopping in the free world.

[1:48:13] I mean, anything's possible.

[1:48:14] Everything's possible.

[1:48:15] I mean, so here's my thinking on this.

[1:48:17] I mean, there is a blow up in foreign

[1:48:19] stuff, but it's mostly in television.

[1:48:21] Foreign television has made inroads,

[1:48:23] thanks mainly to Netflix,

[1:48:24] into American homes in a way that

[1:48:26] it never has before.

[1:48:28] Yeah. Non-English language television

[1:48:29] is now so much more prevalent and

[1:48:32] mainstream than it ever was in

[1:48:34] the American mainstream culture.

[1:48:35] That being said, it feels like the time

[1:48:38] should be right for a blow up in

[1:48:40] independent small budget movies.

[1:48:43] Because the resources to make them are

[1:48:45] right there, especially with AI,

[1:48:47] which I do not like because it takes

[1:48:49] jobs away from people.

[1:48:50] But if you are a small budget

[1:48:51] independent filmmaker,

[1:48:52] I'm sure it's a godsend in many ways.

[1:48:54] Because you can do things you never

[1:48:55] could have done before.

[1:48:56] In theory, distribution through

[1:48:58] the Internet or

[1:48:58] streaming sites should make it easier

[1:49:00] for these kinds of movies to reach

[1:49:01] people the way they did in the 90s

[1:49:03] through video or

[1:49:04] in independent theaters and

[1:49:08] things like that in the 60s and 70s.

[1:49:10] But at the same time, I don't know.

[1:49:12] It feels like it is harder and

[1:49:13] harder to get people to watch that

[1:49:15] stuff in some ways.

[1:49:17] And I think as long as those main

[1:49:18] platforms are algorithmically driven

[1:49:22] and not driven by human curation,

[1:49:24] it's gonna be harder for people to

[1:49:25] find or be directed to different type

[1:49:27] of stuff, indie stuff or original stuff.

[1:49:30] Maybe some foreign stuff,

[1:49:31] the foreign stuff that feels like

[1:49:34] As much as I enjoyed so much of RRR,

[1:49:37] I think that was partly a hit because

[1:49:38] it's the kind of movie that

[1:49:40] people are already watching.

[1:49:41] It's essentially a superhero movie,

[1:49:42] just kind of like a bigger and

[1:49:44] kind of slightly different

[1:49:45] superhero movie.

[1:49:46] And I think it's gonna be harder for

[1:49:48] people to find those things because

[1:49:50] our outlets are so much harder to...

[1:49:53] The ways that people find movies now

[1:49:55] are so controlled by programs designed

[1:49:59] to give them the same thing.

[1:50:00] over and over again, as opposed to the old days

[1:50:01] when you would look like in a newspaper listing

[1:50:04] and you might see other stuff,

[1:50:05] or you'd watch a TV show like Siskel and Ebert

[1:50:08] and they'd introduce you to stuff.

[1:50:09] Like there's less of that now, and it's less prevalent,

[1:50:11] which makes it difficult.

[1:50:12] So that's my theory on it.

[1:50:13] I hope I'm wrong.

[1:50:14] I mean, I feel like there's definitely

[1:50:18] like an explosion of like lower budget stuff.

[1:50:21] I think what we're not gonna get is mid-budget stuff.

[1:50:25] I feel like mid-budget stuff has gone away forever.

[1:50:27] That's a great way to look at it, yeah.

[1:50:28] Especially like, and like anything of any kind of a budget

[1:50:31] that's geared toward like drama,

[1:50:34] like I feel like so much of that type of stuff

[1:50:36] is being pushed toward television.

[1:50:38] Yeah.

[1:50:39] Like things that they could be like,

[1:50:41] can we just turn this into like an HBO,

[1:50:43] like 10 episode series instead of a movie or whatever,

[1:50:48] just makes so much more sense

[1:50:49] on the business side of things.

[1:50:51] But I don't know, I'm the least involved in the business

[1:50:55] out of the four of us, so.

[1:50:56] Yeah, I mean, I think that-

[1:50:57] I think in some ways, Dan is the least involved

[1:50:59] in the business of the four of us.

[1:51:00] Uh, bursts into tears.

[1:51:06] No, I think, I mean, I see what this letter writer

[1:51:09] is getting at, and I do think that lately,

[1:51:12] like the stuff that has been bubbling to the surface a bit

[1:51:15] has been different stuff than we've seen for, you know,

[1:51:20] like at least the last eight years, say, before,

[1:51:25] it really was a period where only one type

[1:51:29] of blockbuster was dominant.

[1:51:31] And, you know, like now there's, you know,

[1:51:35] stuff that's, you know, big IP, like still big IP,

[1:51:39] like Barbie, or of course, Oppenheimer,

[1:51:41] the biggest IP that there is.

[1:51:44] But I do think that what I've seen

[1:51:48] kind of getting attention now,

[1:51:50] like there is a turn away towards smaller,

[1:51:53] different films, maybe.

[1:51:55] Maybe, I'd be curious if that's happening

[1:51:58] in the world you're plugged into, or the world at large.

[1:52:01] Because I think that the issue is not

[1:52:03] that people aren't making those movies necessarily,

[1:52:05] and the issue is not that people

[1:52:06] don't want to see those movies.

[1:52:08] The issue is the corporate layer in between

[1:52:11] that needs to be convinced that there's a profitable reason

[1:52:14] to show those movies.

[1:52:16] I mean, like a lot of these movies do show up now

[1:52:19] on streaming, it's just that the problem is streaming

[1:52:23] is kind of a black hole that like you toss content into,

[1:52:28] and unless something catches fire

[1:52:31] for a very specific reason, it may as well not exist.

[1:52:34] Yeah.

[1:52:35] Compared to like, even in the old days,

[1:52:38] like if you put a small movie in an independent theater,

[1:52:42] you know, like it could get big reviews

[1:52:45] and become a hit that way.

[1:52:47] And that doesn't happen.

[1:52:49] Yeah, Dan's still upset about the fate of Ricky Stenicki,

[1:52:51] you know, disappearing into the Amazon hole.

[1:52:55] Just didn't have a chance,

[1:52:56] just didn't get the chance to catch on.

[1:52:59] Shubin, I know you love Ricky Stenicki.

[1:53:02] No, I didn't, the name was funny to me, so I left him.

[1:53:06] You're like, tell me more,

[1:53:07] I feel like that's the purpose of the name,

[1:53:09] is for it to be funny, and that's the title of the movie.

[1:53:12] No, no, it's a very serious movie, very serious, yeah.

[1:53:16] Hey, let's make some recommendations

[1:53:17] of movies that we've seen, we've enjoyed,

[1:53:22] be positive about a thing.

[1:53:24] Well, I was super positive about Madam Web,

[1:53:26] I think it rules, but I'm also gonna recommend

[1:53:28] another movie that I saw to it,

[1:53:30] that's probably gonna scratch a similar

[1:53:31] Madam Web style itch, or maybe not.

[1:53:33] I'm gonna recommend a movie called Love Lies Bleeding,

[1:53:38] that's right, it is a little neo-noir set in the 80s,

[1:53:43] and in the world of bodybuilding, you got Kristen Stewart,

[1:53:48] you got Ed Harris sporting the best haircut,

[1:53:51] and the leatheriest face, you got Katie O'Brien

[1:53:54] sporting the hardest body I've ever seen,

[1:53:57] she looks incredible, it's like, gross, and super hot,

[1:54:01] and like, funny, and weird.

[1:54:03] The movie, not.

[1:54:04] The movie, her body's incredible.

[1:54:05] The way you said it made it sound like you were commenting

[1:54:08] on, yeah.

[1:54:09] I mean, all bodies are gross,

[1:54:11] but what a picture, it like, it's like, weird and funny,

[1:54:15] and it's great to see this director who made St. Maud

[1:54:23] kind of get to stretch her arms a little bit,

[1:54:26] and like, have a little bit more budget,

[1:54:27] and still bring that kind of like, dreamy sensibility

[1:54:31] to like, a larger palette, or a larger canvas,

[1:54:36] and the performances are a ton of fun, yeah,

[1:54:40] thumbs up, love this thing, it was great.

[1:54:42] I was itching to go to the gym right after.

[1:54:46] I'm gonna quickly recommend, for old time's sake,

[1:54:50] a movie I saw on the plane recently.

[1:54:55] I had, was that, that was the plane you took to Detroit

[1:54:58] so you could masturbate yourself into a stupor

[1:55:00] at the Love Lives Bleeding screening, like, you know?

[1:55:03] Did you guys see that like, viral news story?

[1:55:05] Some guy like, got drunk, and jacked off,

[1:55:07] and passed out at the theater.

[1:55:09] Yeah.

[1:55:10] That wasn't you, is what you're saying.

[1:55:11] No, it's, not to my knowledge.

[1:55:14] I mean, to me, if it was you, you wouldn't remember,

[1:55:17] that's the thing, yeah.

[1:55:18] No, I watched Desperately Seeking Susan,

[1:55:21] a movie that I realized watching it on the plane,

[1:55:25] like, I had seen all of, but maybe just like,

[1:55:27] in bits and pieces over the years,

[1:55:28] but I'm like, oh, I'd never seen, like,

[1:55:29] but it was good to see it all in the correct order,

[1:55:32] all at once, I enjoyed it.

[1:55:34] Not the memento version of Desperately Seeking Susan.

[1:55:36] Yeah.

[1:55:37] It has a lot of the same sort of squares encounter,

[1:55:42] downtown bohemian flavor, as two of my personal favorites,

[1:55:46] After Hours and Something Wild.

[1:55:49] I feel like it doesn't have quite the screwball snap

[1:55:51] at the end that I wanted out of it,

[1:55:53] but it has, like, the vibe that I enjoy.

[1:55:56] But I also wanted to recommend,

[1:55:58] now having recommended a movie,

[1:56:00] so that Stewart doesn't make fun of me,

[1:56:02] I wanted to recommend the television program, Deadlock,

[1:56:06] which Audrey and I recently watched all of.

[1:56:09] Yeah, it's great.

[1:56:10] An Australian show.

[1:56:11] It's on Amazon Prime right now.

[1:56:14] I feel like I've seen a little bit of buzz around it,

[1:56:17] but not as much as I think it deserves,

[1:56:19] considering that I think it is both a genuinely funny comedy,

[1:56:24] where, like, the comedy comes out of

[1:56:27] super well-observed characters being well-played,

[1:56:31] and also a genuine, engaging mystery thriller,

[1:56:36] where, like, it keeps you guessing up something,

[1:56:40] and you're actually excited to see the denouement,

[1:56:44] which is a hard thing to mix those two things together.

[1:56:46] And it's also a bunch of queer creators,

[1:56:53] and that's a big part of the story as well.

[1:56:56] If that's something you're looking for in your media,

[1:56:59] I'd say check out.

[1:57:01] And it's set in Tasmania.

[1:57:03] Yeah.

[1:57:04] Oh, so you know that a certain devil's gonna show up,

[1:57:07] our old buddy, Taz.

[1:57:10] Elliot, why don't we give the last recommendation to Jubin,

[1:57:14] and why don't you go?

[1:57:15] Okay, sure.

[1:57:16] I'm gonna recommend a movie from 1983.

[1:57:21] Oh, well, hold on one moment there, Elliot.

[1:57:25] I think, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you come here.

[1:57:29] NBC newsman Tom Brokaw's here.

[1:57:31] I apologize, everybody.

[1:57:32] Oh, weird, okay.

[1:57:34] Elliot, I was passing by the neighborhood,

[1:57:36] as I often do while you're recording,

[1:57:38] just in case I have an invitation to show up, as I do now.

[1:57:43] I don't remember inviting you,

[1:57:45] like even a vampire needs an invitation.

[1:57:47] Well, I'm worse than a vampire in many ways.

[1:57:50] I'm a newsman, and I couldn't help but hear

[1:57:53] that you mentioned a movie from 1983,

[1:57:56] even though this past weekend you saw a certain film

[1:58:00] called Dune Part Two.

[1:58:02] I had assumed, when I saw you in the theater,

[1:58:05] after hacking into the security cameras,

[1:58:08] much like Ezekiel Sims in the film Madam Web,

[1:58:11] that you would be recommending it on this episode,

[1:58:14] and yet I find that you're not recommending it.

[1:58:18] Is it you do not like the film?

[1:58:20] Because I found it transporting.

[1:58:22] No, I did like it very much,

[1:58:24] but it's just, it's gotten enough attention.

[1:58:26] It's a huge movie, so I'd recommend a smaller thing.

[1:58:29] Well, perhaps then I could just stay here

[1:58:31] and talk about Dune Two for a couple hours.

[1:58:34] I don't think you can right now.

[1:58:35] I mean, we're near the end of the episode.

[1:58:37] That's why I've got a pretty open schedule.

[1:58:40] I'm retired now.

[1:58:40] Perhaps I could come back next week

[1:58:43] and talk about Dune Part Two.

[1:58:45] I don't know about next week.

[1:58:47] We're going to have Jamelle Bowie on next week

[1:58:48] as our guest.

[1:58:49] We're going to talk about Sonic the Hedgehog Two,

[1:58:50] because he's our hedgehog correspondent.

[1:58:52] So I think we're kind of booked for next week.

[1:58:55] Well, as I said, my calendar is quite open right now.

[1:58:58] I have a few more screenings of Dune Part Two penciled in.

[1:59:02] Perhaps I could appear the week after that

[1:59:05] and talk to you about Dune Part Two.

[1:59:07] I'm taking a hint.

[1:59:08] You know, if that's the way it has to be,

[1:59:10] then okay, if you want to come back in two weeks

[1:59:12] and you can talk to us about Dune Part Two.

[1:59:15] I just worry it won't be in the national zeitgeist

[1:59:18] the way it is right now, but I'll take that.

[1:59:21] It's always in my zeitgeist.

[1:59:23] You might say that I've never taken off the steel suit.

[1:59:27] I'm still wearing it right now.

[1:59:28] Okay, well, if you could,

[1:59:29] I don't, again, I don't know how you got in my house.

[1:59:31] This is making me uncomfortable,

[1:59:32] but if you could come back in a couple of weeks

[1:59:33] and we'll talk about it.

[1:59:34] I will.

[1:59:35] I will do that.

[1:59:37] I will.

[1:59:38] And he's backing away slowly now, just saying.

[1:59:39] Well, that was a nice break for the three of us.

[1:59:41] I can't believe you.

[1:59:42] That was, I apologize, everybody.

[1:59:44] Anyway, I'll recommend my movie quickly then.

[1:59:46] My movie is from 1983.

[1:59:48] It's called Testament.

[1:59:49] It's a drama film directed by Lin Litman

[1:59:51] about a small town in the aftermath of a nuclear blast

[1:59:55] that happens close enough that they are experiencing.

[2:00:00] radiation poisoning from it, but not so close that there are explosions and things are on

[2:00:04] fire and stuff like that.

[2:00:06] And she is the mother of a suburban family.

[2:00:08] Her husband is played by, the main character is played by Jane Alexander.

[2:00:12] She was nominated for an Academy Award for this performance, and she's married to William

[2:00:16] Devane.

[2:00:17] William Devane goes off on a business trip, and there's an explosion of some kind, and

[2:00:22] it dawns on people that there's been a nuclear war, and now the town kind of has to make

[2:00:27] do on its own.

[2:00:28] And it's a very kind of quiet, sad movie that felt very real to me, both about the

[2:00:34] effects of that kind of thing, but also the feelings you go to when your family is in

[2:00:38] danger and you don't know what to do about it.

[2:00:40] But not in a like Halle Berry in abducted kind of way, whatever that movie's called,

[2:00:45] but in a real way of like-

[2:00:46] I think it was Kidnapped?

[2:00:47] Was it Kidnapped?

[2:00:48] Oh, Kidnapped, was that it?

[2:00:49] Yeah.

[2:00:50] I can't remember.

[2:00:51] Just Kidnapped.

[2:00:52] There's, when there's something, there's a real threat to your family that is big and

[2:00:55] there's nothing you can do about it, and how you accommodate yourself to that.

[2:00:59] And I found it to be, it was a movie that I saw, it was one of the movies that I've

[2:01:02] seen recently where it got the strongest kind of like real emotional response from me, where

[2:01:05] I'm like, I'm genuinely crying at this movie.

[2:01:07] This movie is hitting me hard, and it's doing it in a very quiet, calm way, and so I was

[2:01:12] very impressed by it.

[2:01:13] So that's called, and I'm a sucker for post-nuclear war, everybody dying from radiation sickness

[2:01:17] stuff.

[2:01:18] So to see one where I was like, oh, this is really getting to me.

[2:01:20] Favorite genre.

[2:01:21] I love it.

[2:01:23] To see one that really was, felt like it was tugging at my heartstrings in a very honest

[2:01:27] way, was a big, was something I was very excited to see.

[2:01:30] So that's Testament from 1983.

[2:01:32] That's also a very annoying movie trope, where a nuclear bomb goes off and everyone dies.

[2:01:36] Yeah.

[2:01:37] I mean, come on, get over it.

[2:01:39] Yeah.

[2:01:40] Overdone.

[2:01:41] How about the one where it's the nuclear bomb goes off and no one cares?

[2:01:43] It's fine.

[2:01:44] And there's a bunch of confetti inside.

[2:01:46] Nuclear confetti?

[2:01:47] Yeah, it's a party.

[2:01:48] Jim, do you have anything you want to recommend?

[2:01:51] I...

[2:01:52] Well, because it's Nowruz, I feel like I should recommend an Iranian movie, which I haven't

[2:01:58] seen any lately, but I have been playing Prince of Persia, The Lost Crown on PlayStation 5,

[2:02:04] which I would recommend.

[2:02:05] It's a very fun metroidvania style video game.

[2:02:09] Also, you can have the characters be voiced in Persian, which is great because I'm learning

[2:02:18] a lot of new Persian terms for, like, time crystals and things my aunts never taught

[2:02:24] me how to say in Persian.

[2:02:26] I would say, if you want to go a little bit back, there's a very wonderful Iranian film

[2:02:29] called Hit the Road, which came out a couple of years ago by, I think, I forget his name,

[2:02:35] but he's the son of a famous director called Jafar Panahi, and it's about a family taking

[2:02:41] a road trip, mostly seen through the eyes of the young eight-year-old son who's on a

[2:02:47] trip with his mom and dad and his older draft-age eligible brother, and as they're going on

[2:02:54] this road trip, the boy does not know what the purpose of the road trip is, but you sort

[2:02:59] of begin getting a sense of what the purpose of the road trip is and why the family is

[2:03:03] doing it.

[2:03:04] And it's a perfectly Iranian movie in that it's a very sweet and fun story that has a

[2:03:11] very bittersweet theme behind it that becomes prevalent as you watch.

[2:03:19] So I would recommend Hit the Road.

[2:03:21] I would recommend never watching any movie ever again after seeing Madam Web, because

[2:03:28] I think that...

[2:03:29] It's a failed art form.

[2:03:30] The art form is gone.

[2:03:31] Wow.

[2:03:32] Yeah.

[2:03:33] I feel like it's sort of been...

[2:03:34] If this is what 100 years of film was leading to, then we can just shut the door.

[2:03:36] It shouldn't have ever happened.

[2:03:39] The debates the Germans had after World War II were like, if this all led up to Hitler,

[2:03:43] what was the point of any of it?

[2:03:44] And I think that the exact same idea and stakes can be put on that one.

[2:03:48] Good closing to an episode is bringing up Hitler again.

[2:03:51] That's the way I'm going to feel if Trump wins presidential election this year.

[2:03:54] I'm going to be like, okay, the American experiment failed.

[2:03:57] Let's say we're wrong.

[2:03:58] We should do it a different way.

[2:03:59] It's time now for a higher American experiment, a caesar-dim.

[2:04:03] Are you saying that everyone gets high?

[2:04:05] That's the experiment?

[2:04:06] Oh, man.

[2:04:07] I am way ahead of you.

[2:04:08] Has there ever been a whole country on weed?

[2:04:11] You see?

[2:04:12] Let's try it.

[2:04:13] Yeah.

[2:04:14] Let's do it, I guess.

[2:04:15] Yeah.

[2:04:16] So that's Madden Web, guys.

[2:04:17] That's our Madden Web episode.

[2:04:18] We did it.

[2:04:19] I want to thank our producer, Alex Smith.

[2:04:22] He goes by the name HowlDotty all over the internet.

[2:04:26] You can find his various other enterprises.

[2:04:29] Thank you for editing and making us sound good and all that stuff.

[2:04:34] I want to thank Zubin for, you know, normally Zubin doesn't have to do anything for an episode.

[2:04:42] And now we made him watch Madden Web.

[2:04:45] Please, let me just play a rich dog again.

[2:04:47] In some ways, this was much less work than he normally has to do.

[2:04:50] In some ways, it was much more work than he normally has to do.

[2:04:53] Yeah, he seems to enjoy the other work more.

[2:04:54] But is there anything you want to plug, Zubin?

[2:04:57] Anything you want to say before we, you know, end this part of the episode?

[2:05:03] No.

[2:05:04] Watch The Daily Show, Jon Stewart on Mondays, our correspondents on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

[2:05:10] Like, yeah, keep on watching it.

[2:05:13] Subscribe to cable again.

[2:05:15] I think a lot of the collapse of the television and film industries can be blamed on you, the viewer and listener who stopped subscribing to cable.

[2:05:23] Please go back and pay those exorbitant rates again.

[2:05:26] We need it.

[2:05:28] Well, thank you.

[2:05:29] Zubin, you managed to have this persona that is, like, lovably hostile.

[2:05:33] Like, can't help but being lovable even though you're saying mean things all the time.

[2:05:38] I'm just being so much.

[2:05:46] Thank you so much, as Dan just said.

[2:05:48] And as the show comes to an end and we take down the old circus tent and hose the grease paint off the floors, I'd like to take one last time this episode.

[2:05:56] We used a lot of grease paint, Dan.

[2:05:59] The clowns falling all over the place.

[2:06:01] They're doing the worm.

[2:06:05] I'd like to take one last time this episode to talk about the MaxFund drive.

[2:06:09] But I'm not just jumping straight to asking you for money.

[2:06:11] First, I want to thank you just the way that we were thanking Zubin for being here.

[2:06:16] I want to thank you for going to MaximumFund.org and becoming a member of MaxFund while you were listening to this episode.

[2:06:22] Or thank you for already being a member of MaximumFund.org and upgrading or boosting your membership.

[2:06:27] Or thank you for already being a member and continuing to support us at the level you're already at.

[2:06:32] Or if you haven't already gone to MaximumFund.org, then thank you for doing it right now before you forget.

[2:06:38] Right now. Now. Now. Go do it. Right now.

[2:06:41] But above all, even if you can't do all that, thank you, as Dan said earlier in the show, for listening.

[2:06:47] Dan, Stuart, and I, we originally got into podcasting as kind of a hobby.

[2:06:51] And I know I've always been so grateful that it turned into a thing that brings some money into our lives.

[2:06:56] It was helpful during down times when we were having financial trouble.

[2:06:59] We've all had those at different points.

[2:07:01] And I hate to admit it, but this right now is just about the downest of down times.

[2:07:05] Television work is very hard to come by right now, not just for us goofballs, but for most of our profession.

[2:07:10] But thanks to you and your support and your joining and upgrading and boosting, we can keep ourselves afloat during this time.

[2:07:16] I feel like we are extra grateful, extra gratitude-ly grateful, or at least I am, for your support during this time.

[2:07:22] Speaking very honestly.

[2:07:23] I'm extra grateful.

[2:07:25] Don't try to take me. I'm the one.

[2:07:27] I'm the most grateful. Dan.

[2:07:29] I'm extra, extra grateful.

[2:07:31] I'm grateful times infinity.

[2:07:33] Checkmate, I guess.

[2:07:35] Yeah, there's always infinity plus one.

[2:07:37] Speaking very honestly and purely for myself, your support at MaximumFund.org slash join, even if you only join for $5 a month,

[2:07:43] is another brick in the wall between me and real financial trouble.

[2:07:46] That's a $5 brick that you're sticking in that wall, and I appreciate it.

[2:07:49] Your membership doesn't just keep the show going.

[2:07:51] It keeps me and my family going.

[2:07:52] So I really want to thank you for that.

[2:07:54] It means so much to me that this dumb show that also means so much to me also means enough to you for you to pledge your hard-earned $5 a month.

[2:08:02] And as Dan Ventura, if you can't afford to join right now, we understand.

[2:08:05] Times are tough right now.

[2:08:06] For almost everyone who is not actively working to tear apart civilization or whose family is not already rich to begin with, those two categories overlap quite a bit right now.

[2:08:15] Thank you just for listening.

[2:08:17] If you can't join right now, how about recommending the show to someone, maybe like a wealthy friend who likes to bankroll dumb movies, movie podcasts, like if you know anyone like that, or just recommend it to someone you think will enjoy it.

[2:08:28] But if you feel like you can't afford it, please go to MaximumFund.org slash join and try out a membership for $5 a month.

[2:08:34] Drink in all that bonus content that's already there and eagerly await the bonus content that we'll be adding throughout the year.

[2:08:40] We need your support.

[2:08:41] We really appreciate that you're giving that support to us.

[2:08:43] And so now I'd like to close this episode with a little oration that I think we'll all find meaningful.

[2:08:51] You know, Dan and Stu, two score and three years ago, our floppers brought forth on this network a new podcast.

[2:08:58] Technically it wasn't on this network, but we joined eventually.

[2:09:00] Conceived in silliness and dedicated to the proposition that not all movies are created equal.

[2:09:04] Now we are engaged in a great MaxFund drive, testing whether that podcast or any podcast so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.

[2:09:12] We are met in an episode of that drive.

[2:09:15] We have come to ask your support in going to MaximumFund.org slash join and contributing as little as $5 a month as a pledge for those who need to make a living so that this podcast might live.

[2:09:24] It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

[2:09:27] But in a larger sense, we cannot take the credit for this podcast.

[2:09:31] It is you, the generous supporters at all levels of membership who, by going to MaximumFund.org slash join, have perpetuated far above our poor power to add or detract.

[2:09:40] Whoever gives out podcasting awards will little note nor long remember what I say here, but can never ignore what you did here.

[2:09:46] It is for us, the hosts rather, to be dedicated here to keep creating the series which you have thus far so nobly advanced.

[2:09:52] We must be dedicated to the great task remaining before us.

[2:09:55] That from you, honored members, we take increased devotion to that cause for which we are here.

[2:10:00] went to MaximumFun.org slash join and gave at least $5 a month.

[2:10:03] That we here highly resolve that we will keep watching bad movies and then talking about

[2:10:08] them and then judging them in categories that often don't really apply that well to the

[2:10:12] movie we watch.

[2:10:13] They did this time, but not always.

[2:10:14] That thanks to your support at MaximumFun.org slash join, this podcast under cage shall

[2:10:20] somehow keep going on for another decade or more.

[2:10:23] And that a house of the flop, by the flop and for the flop shall not perish from this

[2:10:28] earth.

[2:10:30] Thank you.

[2:10:31] Thunderous applause.

[2:10:38] You guys also have a sound like a preschool parents to actually all the silent auctions

[2:10:44] and raffles.

[2:10:44] Yeah, it's yeah, but our baby is a podcast that has gotten slightly less dumb over time,

[2:10:52] but I want it to continue to continue to be exactly as much or more profitable.

[2:10:56] So it's just like a baby that I sold to the workhouse.

[2:11:01] And here we go for sale.

[2:11:02] One baby from Dan, a six word story for sale.

[2:11:07] One baby for profit.

[2:11:10] Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you.

Ep. #420 - Madame Web, with Zhubin Parang

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