The Flop House_ Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

Dan McCoy

[0:00] John Cena and Rennie Harlan?

[0:03] All hail the bad movie gods.

[0:05] We watched 12 rounds.

[0:30] That was great.

[0:37] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.

[0:40] Hey, what's going on?

[0:41] How you doing?

[0:42] It's a podcast where we watch some bad movies.

[0:43] And then chat.

[0:45] I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:46] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:47] I'm Elliot Kalin, don't you know?

[0:49] Elliot?

[0:51] What kind of an accent's there?

Elliott Kalan

[0:52] That was my normal accent.

[0:54] I just put don't you know at the end of it.

Dan McCoy

[0:56] You weren't here for the last episode.

[0:58] No, he was.

[0:59] Yeah, I wasn't here for the one before.

[1:00] There's a little bit of a break in between.

[1:03] It all runs together.

[1:05] I've stopped caring.

[1:06] You've been drinking, I think.

[1:07] I've stopped caring long ago.

[1:08] You've been drinking and eating too much corned beef.

[1:09] What did we watch last time?

[1:11] Friday the 13th.

[1:12] Oh, right.

[1:13] Oh, that was great.

[1:14] We've only been doing movies with numbers in it,

[1:17] and we're counting down backwards.

[1:19] It's 13 last week and 12 this week.

[1:21] Yeah, and before that, Bride.

Stuart Wellington

[1:22] We watch a movie with...

Dan McCoy

[1:23] Yeah, you know, 12, 13, Bride.

[1:26] It's counting.

Stuart Wellington

[1:28] So, what did we watch this week?

Dan McCoy

[1:30] A movie called 12 Rounds.

Stuart Wellington

[1:33] Okay, well, I imagine the listeners at home...

[1:35] Seven pounds?

Elliott Kalan

[1:36] No, 12 Rounds.

[1:38] Sorry, never mind then.

[1:40] Seven pounds, the Batman villain who commits seven pound themed crimes.

Dan McCoy

[1:43] Yeah, this is a joke that has occurred entirely off mic for the Flop House.

[1:49] It's an inside joke.

Stuart Wellington

[1:50] Yeah, so now they feel like the people listening feel like they're inside on it, right?

[1:54] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:54] They think we're pals off camera instead of enemies, which we are.

[1:59] Or frenemies, maybe.

Stuart Wellington

[2:00] Yeah.

[2:00] So, a lot of people, when I say, you know, I have to watch this fucking movie for this

[2:05] stupid podcast tonight, and they're like, oh, what are you watching?

[2:09] Like, all excited.

[2:09] I'm like, I don't know, something called 12 Rounds.

[2:13] And they're like, what the fuck's that?

[2:15] So, I then have to explain it.

[2:16] So, I don't think...

[2:17] I mean, it wasn't like a really well-known movie, right?

Elliott Kalan

[2:19] No, it was written up on the Onion's website, and that's the only other place I saw it, really.

Dan McCoy

[2:24] Yeah, that's the most notoriety it's gotten.

[2:27] I remember seeing ads for it when it was out, and basically I was like, is that villain Eric

[2:34] Boghossian?

[2:35] Oh, no, wait, it's Karketti from The Wire.

[2:37] And that was basically my entire, you know, knowing about 12 Rounds.

[2:41] I've had that with so many movies now.

[2:43] Yeah, you think Eric Boghossian's in so many movies?

[2:45] Yeah, and it turns out to be somebody else.

[2:47] Mm-hmm.

[2:48] Schindler's List.

Stuart Wellington

[2:48] I think for me, it was in the trailer, you know, they revealed that the hero is WWE star

[2:57] John Cena, who was the star of one of my favorite movies of all time.

[3:01] Of course, I'm talking about The Marine.

[3:03] And then I found out that this movie is directed by Rennie Harlan, and...

[3:07] One of your favorite directors of all time.

Elliott Kalan

[3:08] Director of the least profitable film in film history, right?

[3:11] Which one's that?

[3:11] Cutthroat Island, I think it was.

[3:12] Oh, no kidding, I didn't know that.

[3:14] At one point it was.

[3:15] It might not be any more, but it cost them at the time, you know, like $180 million,

[3:19] and it made, you know, nothing.

Dan McCoy

[3:22] Elliot, if you want to get a Matthew Modine, you're going to be paying top dollar for the

[3:28] Modine touch.

[3:29] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[3:30] You know that when Pirates of the Caribbean came out, Rennie Harlan was like, ah!

[3:33] Now they understand.

[3:35] Now they get pirates.

Stuart Wellington

[3:36] Yeah, he was just, he was too ahead of his time.

[3:40] Yeah.

[3:41] Similar when he came out with Mind Hunters, the movie about the FBI students who are being

[3:46] trained to hunt down serial killers, but one of them happens to be a serial killer.

[3:50] Yeah.

[3:52] Oh, Mind Hunter.

[3:53] Mind Hunter.

[3:54] That was Mime Hunter.

[3:55] No.

[3:55] Or like a Mind Hunter, like they hunt down rogue minds.

[3:58] Well, it wasn't an adaptation of the popular Microsoft game Mind Hunter.

Dan McCoy

[4:05] They didn't adapt that into a movie.

[4:07] Yeah.

[4:08] So.

[4:09] The movie Free Cell.

Elliott Kalan

[4:09] I thought it was Mind Hunter, the German film.

[4:13] It means my Hunter.

[4:15] Oh, wow.

[4:15] That's a direct translation.

[4:17] Yeah.

[4:17] Thanks for the help.

Stuart Wellington

[4:18] The character's name was Hunter.

[4:20] Okay.

[4:21] So, 12 rounds.

[4:23] What's the fucking deal there, Dan?

[4:25] Well.

[4:26] WTFTD.

Dan McCoy

[4:30] WTFDTD.

[4:31] I'll sum it up.

[4:31] Yeah, that's good.

[4:32] I'll sum it up quick style, and then you guys can fill in the gaps.

[4:35] Okay.

[4:36] You probably missed stuff.

[4:37] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[4:38] Basically.

[4:38] You kept getting up to serve corned beef to us, so.

[4:40] Yeah.

[4:41] And cake.

[4:42] And cake at one point.

Dan McCoy

[4:43] I'm a hell of a host.

[4:44] And you were scrapbooking most of the time.

[4:47] Yeah.

[4:47] I was doing some decoupage.

Elliott Kalan

[4:49] A lot of pulling out your rare stamps.

[4:51] Ah, 1943 Madagascar butterfly.

Dan McCoy

[4:54] Look.

Elliott Kalan

[4:55] Misprint, if you notice.

[4:57] We're like, Dan, we're trying to watch 12 rounds.

Dan McCoy

[4:59] Philately doesn't take care of itself.

[5:01] That's something you gotta keep up with.

[5:01] The plane is upside down.

Elliott Kalan

[5:04] Dan, Tom Sina is stopping a trolley car with another car.

[5:07] Come on.

[5:09] Nope.

Dan McCoy

[5:09] You stole Tom Sina?

[5:10] Yeah.

[5:10] I figure after watching 12 rounds, I deserve to call him that.

[5:14] So, basically, John Sina.

[5:18] Oh, that's right.

[5:19] John Sina.

[5:19] I thought his name was Thomas for some reason.

[5:22] Whatever.

[5:22] It can be Tom Sina.

[5:23] No.

[5:23] So, Tom Sina.

[5:25] Famous weatherman, Tom Sina.

Stuart Wellington

[5:27] Is the most muscular detective in the universe.

[5:32] In this movie.

Dan McCoy

[5:33] He starts out as just a regular cop.

[5:35] Like a big cop.

[5:36] In New Orleans.

[5:37] Okay.

[5:37] Or New Orleans.

[5:39] The big easy.

[5:40] Yeah.

[5:41] Where everything is easy.

[5:42] And big if you're John Sina.

[5:44] So, you know, Irish, I guess.

[5:50] International arms dealer.

[5:51] Oh, was he?

[5:52] I thought.

[5:52] Yeah, he's an international arms dealer.

[5:53] Okay.

[5:55] Tommy Carchetti from The Wire.

[5:56] Here his name is.

[5:58] Miles Jackson.

[6:00] The classically Irish name, Miles Jackson.

[6:04] You know, he's doing his normal super criminal stuff.

[6:08] Yep.

[6:09] When he is thwarted by regular cop John Sina.

Elliott Kalan

[6:13] Who chases his car down on foot.

Stuart Wellington

[6:16] Yeah, they're in like these like Warrens.

[6:20] These like this very low.

[6:21] The rabbit day.

[6:22] Yeah, it was like Watership Down.

[6:23] And somehow, for some reason, they keep turning down side streets.

[6:28] And he keeps chasing them like he's jumping through buildings.

[6:30] And you wouldn't expect a guy on foot to be able to sneak around and get ahead of them.

[6:37] But he does.

[6:38] Well, as Elliot.

Dan McCoy

[6:38] Then you don't know Tom Sina.

[6:40] As Elliot pointed out, it was like a serious version of that scene from Raising Arizona.

[6:45] Where Nicolas Cage is running through the house.

[6:47] And I'll get bit by the dog.

Elliott Kalan

[6:48] And at one point, it's like the scene in Evil Dead.

[6:51] Where he's running through a deserted house.

[6:52] Mm-hmm.

[6:53] Or Evil Dead 2, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[6:54] But anyway.

[6:55] John Sina thwarts Carchetti's evil plan.

Elliott Kalan

[6:59] But in the process.

[7:00] Miles Jackson's.

[7:01] In the process, Carchetti, Miles Jackson's beloved girlfriend, is hit by a truck and killed instantly.

Dan McCoy

[7:09] And so flash forward one year.

Elliott Kalan

[7:13] This information is written on a billiard ball, which is then knocked out of frame because Sina and his partner are playing billiards.

[7:20] Oh, I missed that.

[7:21] That's some Rennie Harlan style.

[7:22] It's like superimposed on the ball.

[7:24] It's not really written on it.

[7:25] Wow.

[7:25] But then it's superimposed.

Dan McCoy

[7:27] No, that would be great if just Rennie Harlan wrote it on a ball with a Sharpie.

Stuart Wellington

[7:32] One year later.

[7:34] Yeah, one year later.

[7:35] What's going on?

[7:36] Is he a millionaire?

[7:38] Is he some kind of a superhero?

[7:40] What's the deal?

[7:41] Running for president.

[7:41] Well, close.

Elliott Kalan

[7:42] He's half man, half tiger.

[7:44] He's been promoted.

Dan McCoy

[7:45] He's from a gypsy.

[7:47] He's been promoted along with his partner to full detective.

Elliott Kalan

[7:51] His Lothario partner who's always looking for ladies.

Dan McCoy

[7:53] Yeah.

[7:54] You can tell that Rennie Harlan wanted to get his favorite actor, LL Cool J, to play that part.

[8:00] But LL was too busy being loved by the ladies.

[8:03] And being cool.

[8:05] So they got someone who vaguely resembled him a little bit.

[8:08] Just because he was black?

[8:09] Is that it?

[8:10] No.

[8:10] Except only in being black and having a mustache.

[8:12] I said vaguely a little bit.

[8:13] Jesus Christ.

[8:14] Vaguely a little bit.

[8:16] In that if you were a racist.

[8:17] Thanks for qualifying this.

[8:18] Quit trying to paint me as a racist through the medium of podcasts.

[8:23] So John Santa's girlfriend gets kidnapped by Miles Jackson.

[8:31] Who's just broken out of prison.

[8:33] Yeah.

[8:33] Apparently in retribution for John Santa killing his girlfriend.

[8:41] Inadvertently.

Elliott Kalan

[8:41] John Santa's character's name, by the way, is Danny Fisher.

[8:43] They don't call him John Santa.

[8:45] It's not like they don't call him by his real name.

[8:47] They might as well call him John Santa.

[8:48] That'd be pretty awesome, though.

[8:50] You would get that in old movies.

[8:52] You'd have like Gene Autry or Roy Rogers be playing.

[8:55] There's a Gene Autry movie where he finds robots living underground.

[9:00] But I think his name is Gene Autry in the movie.

[9:02] So you have to assume like, I guess this is what his life is like when he's not making movies.

[9:06] He's fighting robots.

Dan McCoy

[9:08] But Miles Jackson keeps calling up John Santa, you know, 88 minutes style to badger him.

Elliott Kalan

[9:17] Except he doesn't have a catchphrase.

[9:18] The 88 minutes killer at least had tic-tac-tac.

Dan McCoy

[9:21] Well, but his catchphrase is sort of the whole boxing metaphor that he sets up.

[9:28] There's 12 rounds.

[9:30] The first round apparently is him blowing up John Santa's house.

[9:34] The second round is him kidnapping his girlfriend.

[9:37] And then the rest of the rounds are him manipulating John Santa's character into going around doing a bunch of stuff.

[9:44] Sort of like Die Hard 3, basically.

Stuart Wellington

[9:46] Doesn't he also blow up a plumber in the first round?

Elliott Kalan

[9:49] Yes, the plumber has come by to fix the sink.

[9:51] Kills a human being, right?

[9:51] Collateral damage.

[9:52] John Santa could have...

[9:53] Plumbers aren't real.

[9:54] We're told in an exposition that John Santa could have fixed the sink himself by replacing some piece of...

[10:00] Some part that was broken.

[10:01] Yeah, a flange sprocket.

[10:02] This flange sprocket was broken.

[10:04] He didn't get a diddlewad to fix it.

[10:07] And the plumber had to come and fix it.

[10:10] John Santa goes outside of his house because his car blows up.

[10:13] And then the house blows up.

[10:15] And it's briefly noted that the plumber was in there.

[10:18] And then they kind of forget about it.

Dan McCoy

[10:19] Yeah, I'm not going to go into all of the 12 rounds now because we can go into more detail later.

[10:24] We'll just skip to the end where inevitably it is discovered that the 12 rounds are, again, Die Hard 3 style,

[10:30] a distraction from the real plot, which involves, I don't know, like diamonds or some shit.

Elliott Kalan

[10:35] They're stealing $100 million in currency that was pulled from circulation that is being held at the Bureau of Engraving in New Orleans.

Stuart Wellington

[10:43] Okay.

[10:44] And this twisted path leads us to an all-out, no-holds-barred grudge match in a helicopter.

Dan McCoy

[10:52] Helicopter because the girlfriend is a medevac helicopter-ress.

[10:57] I don't know.

[10:58] Helicopter-x.

[10:58] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:00] It's a Transformer, right?

[11:02] I hope so.

[11:03] It better be.

[11:04] It turns from a helicopter into a sexy lady.

[11:06] Into a dinosaur.

[11:07] Into an Archaeopteryx, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[11:08] Yeah.

[11:09] So who will triumph in this helicopter battle?

[11:11] Will it be the villain or the hero?

Elliott Kalan

[11:13] Will it be, as Stuart pointed out, I think, will it be the tiny villain with very thin arms,

[11:20] or will it be John Cena, who, as you pointed out, Dan, is a golem?

Dan McCoy

[11:24] Yeah.

[11:25] He's a fucking monster.

Elliott Kalan

[11:26] He is.

[11:27] He basically, the only thing he reminds me.

Dan McCoy

[11:29] Combine Heath Ledger with a mountain, and that's John Cena.

Elliott Kalan

[11:32] The only thing that compares to him are the scenes in John Rambo, when Sylvester Stallone

[11:37] is just kind of, like, running through swamps and looks more animal than man.

Stuart Wellington

[11:43] Like some kind of a mud man.

[11:45] Like some kind of, like, some kind of Neanderthal who's escaped into our time.

Elliott Kalan

[11:50] You have to assume that at some point a gorilla was shaved, somehow taught to speak English,

[11:56] and is now roaming the earth as a cop in New Orleans.

Dan McCoy

[11:59] Yeah.

[11:59] So, which was your favorite of the 12 rounds?

Stuart Wellington

[12:03] Way to turn it on us, Dan.

[12:05] Yeah.

[12:05] Man, that's going to be tough.

[12:06] I liked all of them.

[12:09] It's a cop-out answer.

[12:12] Hey, guys.

[12:14] I liked when they were on the bus, and the snipers were just going to indiscriminately shoot into

[12:20] the bus and kill everybody.

[12:21] Well, what happened on the bus?

Elliott Kalan

[12:22] Why were they on a bus?

Stuart Wellington

[12:23] They were on a bus because the bad guy wanted to talk to the good guy, right?

Elliott Kalan

[12:26] But he strapped a bomb to Molly's chest.

[12:29] And if his thumb is off of a trigger for more than 10 seconds, the bomb goes off in two

[12:33] ways.

[12:34] First, it drives a nail into her heart.

[12:37] And then second, it sets off a bomb that blows up the whole bus.

[12:42] So John Cena will die with innocence, but he'll live to see Molly die first, right before

[12:47] his eyes.

Dan McCoy

[12:47] Yeah, okay.

[12:47] Well, you've just explained what my question was going to be.

[12:50] Why couldn't it just be a one-stage bomb?

Elliott Kalan

[12:52] I assume it's so that he could see his girlfriend die the same way that Mick Johnson did.

[12:58] Mark Joseph.

Stuart Wellington

[13:01] Bro Bisseth.

[13:03] So they're on this bus, and they're talking about some bullshit that I wasn't really paying

[13:07] attention to.

[13:08] They're asking whether they saw last night's house.

Elliott Kalan

[13:10] Yep.

[13:10] There's a lot.

[13:11] I know he never said, but I assumed he would.

[13:13] We're not so different, you and I.

[13:15] Two sides of the same coin.

Stuart Wellington

[13:18] Seven pounds.

[13:20] And so there wasn't a moment.

[13:22] Okay, so they're having their chat.

[13:24] They're talking about similarities, differences.

[13:27] Poetry.

[13:28] Maybe.

[13:29] I think they talk about his girlfriend a little bit.

[13:30] I don't remember.

[13:32] That's probably a Gates fan.

[13:33] I have to assume so, yeah.

[13:35] The FBI has a shitload of snipers positioned on an overpass, and they're like, yeah, we don't

[13:41] have a clear shot.

[13:43] And the good FBI agent's like, oh, no, you can't do that.

[13:45] You're going to need one shot to take out the glass.

[13:47] And then the other one is going to take out the killer or whatever.

Dan McCoy

[13:49] Yeah, because they've got that reinforced bus glass.

[13:52] Yeah.

[13:53] And they're firing BBs.

Stuart Wellington

[13:55] They're using Play-Doh bullets.

[13:58] So for a clean takedown, dude.

[14:01] So they're like, clearly we don't have a shot.

Dan McCoy

[14:04] But then, of course, the kind of evil.

Stuart Wellington

[14:06] The asshole FBI one.

[14:07] He's like, take the shot.

[14:08] Take the shot.

[14:09] And then, of course, John Sane is forced to save the bad guy by being shot by a sniper

[14:14] rifle bullet, which slows him down for a couple minutes.

[14:17] For about a second.

[14:19] And then it's business as usual.

[14:21] I believe he even, with a bullet wound in his right shoulder, manages to land a pretty

[14:26] devastating right hook on the evil FBI agent.

[14:30] On the cranky FBI agent.

Dan McCoy

[14:31] Yeah, what was the deal with, like, okay, there's a couple problems with plausibility

[14:37] in 12 rounds.

[14:38] I would say it starts with moment one.

[14:40] But one of the problems is, the FBI, instead of being like, alright, we're not going to

[14:45] play this evil genius's game, is like, oh, okay, this cop has been drawn into this deadly

[14:53] game of cat and mouse.

[14:55] We should offer him all the support we can.

[14:57] Yeah, well, he operates with unlimited authority in the city of New Orleans.

Elliott Kalan

[15:01] The movie almost would have been better if he, instead of a cop, was, like, the crooked

[15:05] political boss of New Orleans and had to prove himself.

[15:09] So when he, like, commandeers a fire truck or does whatever the hell he wants, it'd be

[15:13] like, oh, that's boss, you know, that's boss Cena.

[15:17] He can do whatever he wants in this thing.

[15:19] What period is this movie set in your mind?

[15:20] I was going to give him a crazy New Orleans name, but I couldn't think of one.

Dan McCoy

[15:23] What?

[15:23] In your mind, what time period is this film set?

Elliott Kalan

[15:26] Like fucking Moulin Rouge, man.

[15:27] Any time period.

Dan McCoy

[15:28] Like, like Boss Redbone or...

Elliott Kalan

[15:30] Boss Redbone.

[15:31] Yeah, exactly.

[15:33] Crawfish Daniels.

Dan McCoy

[15:35] But also, these FBI agents who are offering unlimited support.

[15:38] There's one...

[15:39] They're both bald.

[15:41] There's the white bald guy and the black bald guy.

Elliott Kalan

[15:43] And the black bald guy has a little toy matchbox car, and he has a nervous tick where he's

[15:48] constantly flipping open the hood and then closing it back down again with his thumb.

[15:52] And it is possibly the dumbest character moment, or character-like little bit of business that

[15:57] I've seen in a movie.

Dan McCoy

[15:58] But they make the one bald guy, the black bald guy, into a cranky jerk for no reason.

Elliott Kalan

[16:06] Who does not care about victims, does not care about people.

[16:08] He is dedicated to catching Miles Jansen.

[16:12] The arms dealer.

[16:14] Yeah.

[16:14] Mills Jorson.

[16:15] But he doesn't seem to care how it happens.

[16:19] Doesn't care who dies in the process.

[16:21] He has no...

[16:22] And later on in the movie, he says, I realized this is about the people he hurt.

[16:26] The people he could hurt.

[16:27] And it's like, why were you trying to catch him if you didn't care that he's hurt people?

Dan McCoy

[16:31] It's like the screenwriters of this movie.

[16:34] I assume that there are multiple screenwriters of this movie.

[16:36] To make an opus.

Elliott Kalan

[16:38] It's like Shakespeare.

[16:38] You need people rewriting and writing the folios over and over again.

Dan McCoy

[16:41] I assume that they had seen a bunch of action movies, so they were familiar with the archetypal

[16:49] characters that you encounter in an action film, but they came in 30 minutes late in every

[16:54] case and didn't see the justification for those characters' personalities.

[16:58] So they had the FBI agent who was just obstructionist and a dick and didn't care about people, but

[17:03] they didn't give any reason for that.

Elliott Kalan

[17:07] And he just kind of disappears from the movie for a big chunk of it, too.

[17:10] During my favorite round, when John Cena is tricked into dialing a phone number, which

[17:17] sets off a bomb, destroying the brakes of a cable car.

[17:20] Oh, yeah.

[17:21] It's a good round.

[17:22] And they've got to stop it, because it's going to run right into a children's carnival,

[17:26] which for some reason is set up...

[17:28] It's being held in the middle of the street.

[17:30] In the middle of the street at the end of the trolley car track.

[17:33] And John Cena's brilliant plan is to race over to the trolley car as fast as he can.

[17:38] The people in the trolley seem to have no idea what's going on, that they're even in danger.

Stuart Wellington

[17:42] And specifically, the conductor doesn't seem to really do anything.

[17:45] He just kind of...

[17:46] He occasionally toggles with it.

[17:47] And then he looks around like, should I tell somebody?

Dan McCoy

[17:50] No, I mean, he gets a little panicked.

[17:51] He's like, oh, wait a minute.

[17:52] This trolley appears to be going much faster than a trolley usually travels.

Elliott Kalan

[17:56] That's not an exaggeration of the amount of his panic.

[18:00] Huh, this is faster than I usually go on this route.

[18:04] Well...

[18:04] I normally stop at these different trolley stops.

[18:06] Well, life is a highway.

[18:07] I'll just go with it.

[18:08] I'll just ride it all night long.

[18:10] So their plan is to stop their car...

[18:14] Oh, no, they back the car up in front of the trolley, and they try to use their brakes to stop the trolley.

[18:19] Yeah, probably going to work.

[18:20] Cena shoots out the windshield.

Dan McCoy

[18:22] Do you think they've got four-wheel brakes on that thing?

Elliott Kalan

[18:24] I have to assume.

[18:25] They have to or something.

[18:25] They probably have like 20-wheel brakes.

[18:27] But he shoots out the windshield, climbs onto his car, jumps in through the windshield of the trolley car,

[18:33] and then he...

[18:34] This is his plan.

[18:35] Pulls the brake on the trolley car, which doesn't work.

[18:39] So he gets on top of the trolley car, tries to destroy the power line, can't seem to do it.

[18:45] So they drive over to...

[18:47] He gets his car out from in front of the trolley car.

[18:48] Yeah, he climbs back into his own car.

[18:50] Climbs back into his own car.

[18:51] Having failed.

[18:51] Says to the bald, to the white bald F.E.I. agent, that didn't work.

[18:55] They...

[18:55] Oh, there's the power transformer over there.

[18:58] Why don't we just ram the car into the big generator unit?

[19:02] So they do...

Dan McCoy

[19:03] I assume that that's, you know, powering the specific trolley car.

Elliott Kalan

[19:07] Yeah, just the one trolley car.

[19:08] So they do, which does nothing.

[19:10] It knocks out power, and then the trolley car still, like, hits the carnival.

Dan McCoy

[19:15] I don't want to pass over this too quickly, because...

[19:20] There's no lamb's blood on it?

[19:22] The most amazing thing in this whole sequence...

[19:24] Pass over?

[19:24] Get it?

[19:25] Lamb's blood?

[19:25] Yeah.

[19:26] No, it's good.

[19:27] Read your Torah, people.

[19:28] The most amazing thing in this whole sequence, and Elliot mentioned it, but I think it bears

[19:32] repeating.

[19:34] John Cena, you know, goes to the trouble of climbing from his car into a runaway trolley car just

[19:42] to try and hit the brakes himself.

[19:44] He's like, oh, okay.

[19:45] The conductor is clearly not adequately applying the brakes.

[19:49] I'm going to get into the trolley car, hit the brakes.

[19:51] And then he's like, well, that didn't work.

[19:54] I'm fresh out of ideas, guys.

Elliott Kalan

[19:56] I, John Cena, I'm out of ideas on this one.

Stuart Wellington

[19:59] I like to think that a couple of seconds of him being like, hey, FBI guy who I'm riding

[20:04] around in, in this car with.

Elliott Kalan

[20:07] Which is riding around in the FBI guy.

[20:09] I wish that when they got to the trouble, John Cena leaped out of the FBI guy's mouth

Stuart Wellington

[20:13] at the trolley car.

[20:14] So he's riding around in this car with this guy.

[20:16] If he had just simply said, okay, I got a plan.

[20:19] We're going to try and slow down the trolley car with the brakes of our car.

[20:23] And I'm going to climb in there and try and pull the brake.

[20:26] And the guy could have been like, no, you're a fucking idiot.

[20:29] Clearly they would have already used the brakes.

Elliott Kalan

[20:32] Well, you know.

[20:32] The man's a professional.

[20:33] He's a trolley car driver.

Dan McCoy

[20:34] The thing that reminded me more of anything was the beginning of, was the beginning of

[20:39] Ghostbusters when he's like, get her.

[20:42] That was your whole plan, Ray?

[20:44] Get her.

[20:44] Like, it was basically that.

Elliott Kalan

[20:46] But there it was played for laughs versus here it was played for.

[20:48] This guy's a fucking badass.

[20:50] He's going to have to try something else.

[20:51] He's America's greatest hero.

Dan McCoy

[20:53] What happens when America's greatest hero goes up against Tommy Karketty?

[20:59] America's greatest mayor.

[21:04] Explosions.

[21:05] That's what happens.

Stuart Wellington

[21:06] It ends in an explosion.

[21:07] I'm not going to lie.

[21:08] Okay.

[21:08] So there's a bunch of rounds.

[21:10] There's some shit happens.

[21:11] At the end, there's some really awesome CGI.

[21:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[21:14] As we see Tommy Karketty realize that he's being engulfed in flame at the end.

Stuart Wellington

[21:19] So his eyes bug out for a second.

[21:23] Like a Tex Avery cartoon.

Dan McCoy

[21:26] Yeah.

[21:26] The film sort of.

[21:28] Pretty accurate description.

[21:29] Well, a little bit of an exaggeration.

[21:31] But I like it.

[21:32] The film is your average dumb action film for most of his running time.

[21:36] But dumber.

[21:36] And then it has like a totally crazy ending where like John Cena is zapped with.

[21:45] Defibrillator paddles.

[21:46] And does the craziest face in the world.

Elliott Kalan

[21:49] It was one step away from him going, aye, aye, aye, aye.

[21:52] And then.

[21:53] And then his eyes going tilt.

Dan McCoy

[21:56] And you know.

[21:57] And then his big plan to escape the helicopter is to jump with his girlfriend into a rooftop pool.

[22:03] Which luckily happens to be there.

[22:05] We'll give them that.

[22:06] But they jump in the zaniest way possible.

[22:08] It looks like they're like.

[22:09] It looks like the beginning of like say a Bond credit sequence.

[22:13] Where like silhouettes are like dropping from the sky.

[22:16] Nude women?

[22:17] No, no.

[22:18] Like you know what I'm talking about.

[22:19] Possibly.

[22:20] Yeah.

[22:20] Possibly nude women.

[22:21] But possibly like James Bond.

Elliott Kalan

[22:22] If it's a Bond opening title sequence.

[22:24] There's as many nude women.

[22:25] It's just nude women dropping out of the sky.

Dan McCoy

[22:26] I'm saying the level of special effects is basically the same.

[22:29] Oh, yeah.

[22:29] In that like something is superimposed over something else.

Elliott Kalan

[22:32] Well, they jump roughly what?

[22:34] 300 feet?

[22:35] 200 feet?

[22:36] Out of a helicopter into a pool?

[22:38] But it looks like they should be going like.

[22:39] Whee!

[22:40] As they fall.

[22:41] And then at the end.

[22:42] They're walking.

[22:43] There's money falling all around them.

[22:45] Because somehow he got the money on the helicopter that he stole from the Bureau of Engraving.

[22:49] I missed that part.

[22:51] And they are walking by.

[22:54] And they pass by some people who are honeymooning there or whatever.

[22:58] And she says, we better get you.

[23:01] I better get you home.

[23:02] And he goes, about the house.

[23:04] And then you hear.

[23:07] As we wide shot of the roof.

[23:10] Pull back.

[23:10] Rock and roll music.

[23:11] Credits.

[23:12] And it's just like, about the house.

[23:15] The plumber was murdered in our house.

[23:19] We should make a donation in his name somewhere.

[23:23] About the house.

[23:24] We don't have one.

[23:25] And a man died.

[23:27] Oh, and we didn't talk about Willie, the overweight hotel security worker who dies in an elevator.

[23:32] You thought he was overweight?

[23:35] I mean, I thought he looked okay.

[23:36] He seemed to weigh roughly 350 pounds, if not more.

[23:39] But I mean, for his height.

[23:41] His height.

[23:41] He was about, what, 5'7"?

[23:43] Come on.

[23:44] I'm just saying.

[23:45] I think you're being a little rough to the actor.

[23:47] Okay.

[23:47] This stout actor.

[23:49] Okay.

[23:49] What about it?

[23:50] What happened?

[23:51] They went to a lot of trouble to call him Willie and name him Willie.

[23:54] Like, people called his name constantly.

[23:57] Yeah.

[23:57] In his very brief moments on camera.

[24:00] Well, Willie.

[24:00] Everyone loves Willie Elliot.

Stuart Wellington

[24:02] Yeah.

[24:02] That was the guy who was in the elevator car that was going to fall.

[24:07] Yes.

[24:07] Who was going to, like, fall in 60 seconds or something.

Dan McCoy

[24:10] Now, you guys were pointing out that the whole, you know, like, good guy team very credulously

[24:18] enters this elevator that they know for a fact the bad guy has had access to.

Elliott Kalan

[24:23] Well, Willie says, Willie has been seen on camera leading the villain somewhere.

[24:28] And he goes, oh, he told me it was the elevator repairman, that he was just coming by to do the repairs.

[24:32] And then they're like, well, let's get in the elevator and find out where he went to.

Stuart Wellington

[24:36] He's like, last I saw him, I left him entering this elevator.

[24:39] I'll see you later.

[24:40] He was carrying his bomb bag to the elevator.

[24:43] He was asking me something about how much I weighed and whether or not I would die if I fell 12 pounds.

Dan McCoy

[24:49] He had two pairs of pliers and he was like, which one of these pliers do you think would be better for cutting an elevator cord?

Elliott Kalan

[24:55] I said, definitely that one.

Dan McCoy

[24:58] I'm a bit of an elevator expert, so I could help him out on that issue.

Elliott Kalan

[25:01] And a cord cutting expert.

[25:04] Umbilical elevator.

Stuart Wellington

[25:06] I don't care.

[25:06] If it's a cord, I'll cut it.

[25:07] He's trapped on this elevator that's about to fall.

[25:12] Within seconds.

[25:13] And he's making very little effort to actually get out of this elevator.

Elliott Kalan

[25:17] Really?

[25:17] Well, this is the thing.

[25:18] They get to the top of the elevator.

[25:20] Tom Stana.

[25:20] John Stana.

[25:21] Tom Stana.

[25:21] John Stana's hanging from a window frame.

[25:23] And he's saying, Willie, give me your hand.

[25:25] And Willie's literally lying on his side going, ugh.

[25:28] I can't do it.

[25:29] I can't do it.

[25:30] So lazy.

[25:30] He's such a lazy man.

[25:32] Yeah, he's a lunatic in life.

Stuart Wellington

[25:34] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[25:34] Yeah, just getting to the roof is clearly not enough.

[25:37] And also, John Stana literally pulls this man up completely onto the roof.

[25:42] Willie can't do it.

[25:43] And Willie gets on the roof and collapses and goes, oh, I didn't think I could do it.

[25:47] You didn't do it.

[25:48] John Stana did it for you.

Stuart Wellington

[25:49] And you didn't even do it because you didn't make it all the way.

[25:52] That's like running part of the way and then just standing there while the speeding car

Elliott Kalan

[25:57] runs you over.

[25:58] And the only reason John Stana could do it is because he has the strength of Holy Scrolls

[26:02] being placed inside his clay body.

[26:04] Yes.

[26:05] Because he's a mud man.

Dan McCoy

[26:08] This movie, as we sort of alluded to before.

Elliott Kalan

[26:12] It makes me want to see a movie where John Stana defends the Jews of Prague.

[26:18] Like in the Marine.

[26:20] Yeah, is that what he does in the Marine?

[26:21] Yes.

[26:21] Okay.

[26:22] In the Marine, they build him to save the Jewish ghetto of Prague.

Stuart Wellington

[26:26] Against Robert Patrick, who's slowly morphing into Martin Sheen.

[26:32] Wow.

[26:33] What were we going to say about this movie?

Dan McCoy

[26:35] I was just going to say that this movie, I think we sort of alluded to it before, but

[26:38] it's kind of like if aliens came and they saw some action movies and they just sort of

[26:43] merge them together.

[26:44] I mean, like, it's got a bit of Die Hard 3.

[26:47] It's got a bit of speed in the sense that there's like the speeding bus.

[26:52] And his partner dies very Jeff Daniels style and speed.

[26:57] Like tracking down another thing.

[27:02] And they're like, yeah.

[27:09] This is what's going on.

Elliott Kalan

[27:10] But there are also things like his partner gets caught in an ambush and right before he dies, he tells the sidekick, the henchman of the villain who is also about to die, like, he just goes, bitch.

[27:22] And then explodes.

[27:24] And later on, they're getting at, Molly and Stana are getting out of the helicopter and leaving Carquetti behind.

[27:29] And Molly goes, land it yourself, bitch.

[27:32] And he was like, that seems so gratuitous to have two people call a villain bitch.

Stuart Wellington

[27:37] But also, like, coincidence?

[27:39] Maybe not.

[27:40] I don't know New Orleans culture.

Elliott Kalan

[27:42] Maybe that's just a common thing.

[27:44] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[27:45] But for a movie that's...

[27:45] Maybe it's goodbye.

[27:46] If you really want to shine somebody on, you're like, bitch, and then kill them.

Dan McCoy

[27:51] But for a movie that's so, like, concerned with action movie, like, tropes, though, like, they give John Cena, like, the most boring end of the movie thing.

[28:00] Like, wasn't it just like, you lose?

Elliott Kalan

[28:03] Yeah, he says, fuck you, at one point.

[28:05] And then later he says, you lose.

[28:06] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[28:06] Yeah.

[28:07] He wasn't even like, knockout.

[28:09] You know?

Elliott Kalan

[28:10] TKO.

[28:11] You're ready to take on the champ.

[28:13] Nice.

[28:14] Any more boxing metaphors?

[28:16] Let's see.

[28:17] Sweet Science.

[28:18] Sure.

[28:19] Squared Circle.

[28:20] Hit the canvas.

[28:22] Throw in the towel.

[28:23] Yeah.

[28:23] That's pretty good.

[28:25] Cut my eye, Mickey.

[28:26] Yeah, because most of the...

[28:27] After he got hit...

[28:28] Boxing.

[28:28] Crap thunder.

[28:30] Rope a joke.

Stuart Wellington

[28:31] After he got shot by those paddles, he basically just punched the bad guy a bunch of times.

[28:36] And then the bad guy just sat there.

[28:37] Yeah.

[28:38] He just laid down...

Elliott Kalan

[28:38] He was punching him really hard.

[28:40] And this is a tiny guy he's hitting.

[28:43] This is clearly a professional.

[28:45] If this was not a movie, that man would be dead.

[28:48] Those punches.

[28:49] His neck would snap.

Stuart Wellington

[28:51] He'd be disfigured at the very least.

Elliott Kalan

[28:52] It's like he's hitting...

[28:53] It's like the Sandman is hitting him with a giant battering arm hand.

[28:58] Or a ham.

[28:59] Or a ham.

[28:59] Battering arm ham.

[29:01] That would be the least tasty ham.

[29:03] It would taste like sand.

[29:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:05] Wait.

[29:05] Is it like a battering ram?

[29:06] Or did he turn his hand into a giant anvil?

[29:08] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[29:09] That could be it too.

[29:11] Oh.

[29:11] Why couldn't he have been metamorpho?

Stuart Wellington

[29:13] That's what I wonder.

[29:14] Yeah.

[29:14] So the ending...

[29:17] Satisfying, Dan.

[29:18] What do you think?

[29:18] The ending of 12 rounds.

Elliott Kalan

[29:20] Oh.

[29:20] Here's something I wanted to mention.

[29:21] Is that he's a WWE star.

[29:24] Sure.

[29:24] The movie's produced by the WWE.

[29:26] Yep.

[29:27] Why do they keep using boxing metaphors?

[29:29] Yeah.

[29:30] Why are they not using wrestling metaphors?

[29:31] 12 rounds could easily be a wrestling match.

[29:34] Right?

[29:35] I don't remember.

[29:35] I guess they don't do it in rounds.

[29:36] I don't know what's the story.

[29:37] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[29:38] They just...

[29:39] They hit each other with chairs and stuff.

[29:41] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[29:42] That's how it works.

[29:43] And they staple gun $5 bills to their foreheads.

[29:46] And sometimes they have heart attacks when they jump off the top turn.

[29:49] Oh.

[29:51] Sometimes.

Dan McCoy

[29:52] It's sad.

[29:54] Anyway, you're saying...

[29:55] Marissa Tomei.

[29:55] Marissa Tomei was ready to change his life.

[29:57] Marissa Tomei.

[29:58] Yeah.

[29:59] Tomei.

[29:59] Have you learned nothing from George Takei?

Elliott Kalan

[30:01] It's Marissa Tomei.

[30:02] Like George Takei.

[30:04] I don't know.

[30:06] Wow.

[30:07] Anyway, you were saying the end of the movie.

Stuart Wellington

[30:08] Yeah.

[30:08] Well, I was mainly just wondering if you guys feel that the end...

[30:11] Oh, you were saying the end of the movie.

[30:11] The big thing about a real judge of an action movie, like be it a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie,

[30:17] a Steven Seagal movie...

[30:18] Oh, yeah.

[30:19] The top of the line.

[30:19] Yeah.

[30:20] The real...

[30:22] The real...

[30:22] Seagal?

[30:23] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[30:24] Seagal.

[30:25] The Peter Seagal action movies.

[30:27] A Steven Seagal movie.

Stuart Wellington

[30:28] The thing about it is that you really want an awesome ending.

[30:31] Like an ending that totally sums up the entire experience.

[30:34] Whether it's the human experience, the movie experience, who knows?

Elliott Kalan

[30:37] That's what I felt...

[30:38] I was just thinking the other day, actually, out of nowhere, of the ending to like Casino

[30:41] Royale, which felt like such a perfect ending to me.

[30:45] Mm-hmm.

[30:45] Because you see him...

[30:46] The villain drives up to his house, and then he shoots him in the leg, and then he says,

[30:51] you know, Bond, James Bond, and you get the music for the first time.

[30:53] Like that kind of ending, where like it's real quick, and there's a hit, and then the

[30:57] music comes up, and you're like, whoa!

Dan McCoy

[30:59] Oh, you got me!

[31:01] You got me, actually.

Dan McCoy

Elliott Kalan

[31:02] You got me.

[31:02] Mm-hmm.

[31:03] Like it should end when you're mid...

[31:05] Like that.

Stuart Wellington

[31:06] Anyway, I'm just saying.

[31:07] Or like in the end of Universal Soldier, where Jean-Claude Van Damme runs Dolph Lundgren

[31:12] through the threshing machine, and bloody chunks come shooting out.

[31:17] Like that kind of an ending.

[31:18] And I think it happens in the rain.

[31:20] So you're saying that's the A-plus action movie ending.

Elliott Kalan

[31:23] Or like the end of Tangled Cash, where they high-five, and then that's the picture on the newspaper

[31:27] that says, they're back.

[31:29] Wait.

[31:29] Who was the photographer there who took that photo?

[31:32] Somebody.

[31:32] Somebody took that picture.

[31:34] And that's very big.

[31:34] That's the scene.

[31:35] They're just saying, they're back.

[31:36] Yeah.

[31:37] Well, Tangled Cash are the most famous cops in America.

[31:40] People recognize their faces.

[31:41] You're forgetting there's a newspaper earlier in the movie that shows Ray Tango and says,

[31:45] Tango, get some.

[31:46] And then there's a picture below the fold of Cash, and it says, like, Cash, get some.

[31:50] I love that movie so much.

[31:53] You have to watch.

[31:53] It's obvious from your contents of your refrigerator.

[31:55] You haven't been watching.

[31:56] You figure.

[31:57] Probably been keeping your eyes too close on the evidence you used to set us up.

Dan McCoy

[32:01] Oh, I love that movie.

[32:03] Tango.

[32:05] You think that there's a deleted scene where, like, Tango and Cash, like, went and they picked

[32:09] up a newspaper photographer, and they're like, we're going to storm Jack Pellitz's compound

[32:13] tonight.

[32:14] We want you to be there.

Elliott Kalan

[32:15] Oh, well, this is after the, this isn't, the picture isn't taken during the, oh, maybe

[32:19] it is taken right after the storm.

[32:20] It's taken right after, yeah.

[32:22] Because they don't get into, they don't get into how they clear their names.

[32:25] Yeah, they blow up all the evidence.

Dan McCoy

[32:27] Yeah, it's the Lethal Weapon 2 school of thought there.

Stuart Wellington

[32:31] Yeah.

[32:32] Where you're like, oh, these damn Boers with all their money laundering, these Afrikaners.

[32:37] Let's just blow the shit up.

[32:38] Yeah.

[32:38] All the money.

Dan McCoy

[32:39] The central problem of the whole movie has been that they have, they have diplomatic immunity.

[32:44] And then they're just like, oh.

[32:46] Let's just shoot them and blow up all the money.

[32:47] Is that the way he says revoked?

[32:49] Yeah, I think so.

[32:50] Yeah.

[32:50] I have diplomatic immunity.

Elliott Kalan

[32:53] The other thing is, diplomatic immunity doesn't extend to major crimes.

[32:58] That's what movies never seem to get.

Stuart Wellington

[33:00] I'll have you see Exhibit A, Lethal Weapon 2.

Elliott Kalan

[33:05] Like, you can get away with not getting parking tickets, but if you murder people or steal things, then you will be brought up on charges.

Stuart Wellington

[33:12] But get invested.

[33:13] If you have guys running around with Uzis through the streets of LA.

Elliott Kalan

[33:16] In the second Spider-Man-Superman team-up, Doctor Doom is the villain, and he's at the Letverian embassy in America.

[33:24] And he's been trying to kill Superman for a long time.

[33:26] And Superman shows up, and Doctor Doom goes, uh, don't you follow the rules of your adopted country?

[33:33] I have diplomatic immunity.

[33:35] And walks away.

[33:36] And Superman's like, damn, he's got me.

[33:38] Like, there's really no reason that Superman has to follow these rules.

[33:41] Just like in Lethal Weapon, they get around them.

Dan McCoy

[33:45] But to get back to the end of 12 rounds.

[33:48] Sure.

[33:48] Are we talking about 12 rounds?

[33:51] I don't even remember what the actual end was, because we watched the two alternate endings, which are so tremendously different.

Elliott Kalan

[33:57] The alternate endings literally had one line different in each one.

Dan McCoy

[34:00] But wasn't, like, the original ending just them being like, like, there's this couple, you know, like in a hot tub.

[34:06] Hot tub is on the roof.

[34:07] On the roof, and they're like, what happened?

[34:10] And he's like, oh, it fell out of a helicopter.

[34:12] And they walk out, and he's like.

Elliott Kalan

[34:14] And he goes, jumped out of a helicopter.

[34:16] And he goes, helicopter blew up.

[34:18] No big deal.

[34:19] Yeah.

[34:19] Although when he says it, it sounds like he says, Moby Dick.

Stuart Wellington

[34:23] It did sound exactly like that.

[34:24] Did he say something like, hold his girlfriend close and be like, next time, I'm driving you to work.

[34:30] He does say that, yeah.

[34:32] Yeah.

[34:32] Maybe I just said that.

[34:33] No, no, he does say that.

Elliott Kalan

[34:34] He does say that, because she gets kidnapped when taking the ferry to work.

[34:37] Oh.

Dan McCoy

[34:38] And then there's the line about, about the house.

[34:42] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[34:42] About the dead plumber.

[34:45] There's a charred corpse in it.

Dan McCoy

[34:46] The two alternative endings.

[34:48] One was, there was a.

Elliott Kalan

[34:50] There's a security guard on the roof.

[34:52] Yeah.

[34:52] And he goes, what happened?

[34:53] There's money fluttering.

[34:54] And he goes, what happened?

[34:55] And the guy says, oh, he jumped out of a helicopter.

[34:57] He goes, what about, where did all this money come from?

[34:59] And he goes, like, congratulations, kid.

[35:02] You just won the lotto.

[35:03] Yeah, because that money's not going to be returned to.

[35:05] Incredibly irresponsible.

[35:07] For a civil servant.

[35:08] But that guy runs the town.

[35:09] He can do what he wants.

[35:10] And the other alternate ending was, the same hot tub couple, they go, what happened?

[35:15] And he goes, oh, he jumped out of a helicopter.

[35:17] Jumped out of a helicopter.

[35:18] And the guy goes, of the hot tubers goes, we just got engaged.

[35:22] And John Santa goes, word of advice.

[35:24] And turns to Molly, keep her close.

[35:26] Or no, don't let her go.

[35:28] Or something like that.

[35:29] Don't let go over.

[35:32] So.

[35:33] Ow.

[35:33] Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Dan McCoy

[35:34] So this hot tub couple was like, yeah, enough about your boring fella out of a helicopter story.

[35:39] By the way, we just got engaged.

Elliott Kalan

[35:41] You jumped out of a helicopter.

[35:42] Great.

[35:43] Congratulations.

[35:44] And it's in order.

[35:45] We got engaged.

[35:46] Hello.

[35:47] John Santa.

[35:49] Also, speaking as someone who got engaged about nine days ago.

[35:52] Ow.

[35:52] Thank you.

[35:53] Sorry, ladies.

[35:54] I'm taken for now.

[35:57] And forever.

[35:57] But that is a pretty not classy way to pop the question.

[36:03] In a hot tub.

[36:04] I hate to say it.

[36:04] On a roof.

Dan McCoy

[36:05] Wait, so you didn't pop the question in a hot tub.

[36:06] Well, look, it's really romantic.

[36:08] Were you wearing a chicken suit?

[36:09] I was not wearing a chicken suit.

[36:10] No, no, no.

[36:11] Elliot, imagine this.

[36:12] You're on a roof.

[36:13] You're in a hot tub.

[36:16] The helicopters are exploding all around you.

[36:18] That is pretty romantic.

[36:19] You're wearing some jams.

[36:21] Where does he keep the rig?

[36:22] Money is floating down from the sky.

[36:24] That augers well for your romance, your life together.

Elliott Kalan

[36:28] Maybe they got...

[36:29] Well, yeah, the Chinese would say that that's a good luck sign for your future.

[36:33] A treasure bath?

[36:35] A treasure bath.

[36:36] Yeah.

[36:36] History of the world part one would say that that's good luck.

[36:39] But maybe they got engaged earlier...

[36:41] Or Uncle Scrooge.

[36:43] Maybe they got engaged earlier in the day.

[36:46] In which case, that's pretty...

[36:48] Come on.

[36:49] You give it a rest for a couple hours.

[36:51] Not everyone needs to know that you got engaged.

Stuart Wellington

[36:53] Yeah, but I mean, usually if you get engaged, your first choice is to go to a rooftop hot tub

[36:58] and then just party, right?

[36:59] Again, we didn't do that.

[37:01] You didn't do that?

[37:01] You guys went to separate bedrooms and watched TV and they'll sleep through by 10 o'clock.

Elliott Kalan

[37:06] We bundled.

[37:07] We were each wrapped in blankets so tight we couldn't get out.

[37:10] Then we shared the bed together to see what that was like but still remained chaste.

[37:14] Sure, of course.

[37:15] It's very common in our religion.

[37:16] Oh, okay.

Dan McCoy

[37:17] That's what happens when you get engaged at Colonial Williamsburg.

Elliott Kalan

[37:22] Oh, that would have been such a good idea.

[37:23] I should have done that.

[37:24] Like we walk into the blacksmith's shop and he's banging something on the anvil and it's

[37:28] like, oh, what's that you got there?

[37:30] Oh, something for a lucky bride, Danielle.

[37:34] And then he hands it to her and she turns and I'm on my knee.

[37:37] And they go like, prithee, yon maiden.

[37:40] And then she marries the blacksmith.

Dan McCoy

[37:41] That's the thing.

[37:42] It's the one flaw in my plan.

Elliott Kalan

[37:43] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[37:44] Sounds like somebody on Brom Bones did that.

[37:48] She marries Brom Bones.

[37:49] No.

[37:51] Damn Brom Bones.

[37:51] Not you, Ichabod.

Elliott Kalan

[37:52] Scaring me away in his headless horseman costume.

Dan McCoy

[37:56] I think we should render our final judgments on this movie because we've been talking for a

[38:01] little while.

[38:02] Final judgments?

[38:03] Yeah.

[38:04] Final judgments.

[38:05] What are the categories, Daniel?

[38:07] They are.

[38:08] Not Danielle.

[38:09] I was talking to you.

[38:09] Daniel-san.

Elliott Kalan

[38:10] Yeah.

[38:10] Yeah, this is not my fiancee, Danielle.

[38:12] This is Dan McCoy, host of the Flophouse.

[38:14] Famous host of the Flophouse.

[38:15] Host of the Flophouse.

[38:16] Famous host of the Flophouse.

[38:18] Infamous host of the Flophouse.

[38:19] Let's compromise.

[38:20] Okay.

Dan McCoy

[38:21] The categories are, is this a good-bad movie, a bad-bad movie, or a movie that you actually

[38:28] sort of liked?

[38:30] So, Stuart, I'm going to go to you.

Stuart Wellington

[38:33] I'm going to go good-bad movie.

[38:36] It did totally feel like somebody had just watched a bunch of other action movies and they're

[38:39] like, we can do this.

[38:41] This is easy.

[38:42] And then they decided to pick a WWE star to be in the lead.

[38:47] They didn't pick Kane.

Elliott Kalan

[38:49] Yeah, it just wrote itself.

[38:50] The Undertaker couldn't do this part?

[38:52] Like, what's the problem?

Stuart Wellington

[38:54] Yep, Macho Man Randy Savage is a little long in the tooth.

Elliott Kalan

[38:57] Hollywood Hulk Hogan was not available.

Stuart Wellington

[39:00] Well, I guess he's back to being Hulk Hogan now.

Elliott Kalan

[39:02] He's not Hollywood Hogan anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[39:03] Oh, yeah.

[39:04] I think he just goes by Terry now.

[39:07] Terry Hogan.

[39:09] So, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, you know, I think it's a good-bad movie.

[39:14] It's not, I didn't actually like it that much, but it was fun to watch.

Dan McCoy

[39:17] I'm going to go, I feel like it's somewhere between.

[39:20] A good-bad movie.

[39:23] And a movie I actually sort of enjoyed.

[39:25] Because it's a dumb action movie.

[39:30] It's really dumb.

[39:31] Really?

[39:31] Wait.

[39:31] It is dumb as a brick.

[39:34] Stupid as a bag of hammers.

[39:36] But it's dumb largely in an entertaining way.

[39:40] And it is bad.

[39:42] I don't want you to misunderstand me.

[39:44] It's a bad movie.

[39:45] But it's not bad in like a way where I'm like, this is hilariously inept.

[39:49] It's just bad in that it is, again, dumb.

[39:52] Rock stupid.

[39:54] So, but I enjoyed it.

[39:56] And I think it has a good intersection of being trashy and not having a brain in its head.

[40:05] So, I'm going to go somewhere in between a good-bad and a movie that I actually enjoyed.

Elliott Kalan

[40:11] I'm going to go with you on that date.

[40:13] Like, I did enjoy the fact that it never stopped moving, pretty much.

[40:18] Except for a few moments when John Santa would literally stand there and look at things.

[40:23] And grimace.

[40:25] Lots of flashes in slow motion as he just stared at people who couldn't possibly be involved in any of the plots that he was.

Dan McCoy

[40:31] Yeah, and he would remember flashbacks of his girlfriend and it would just be shots of his girlfriend holding their dog.

[40:36] It wouldn't be like them doing something together and being like, oh, I remember when we did that together.

[40:41] I love her so much.

Stuart Wellington

[40:42] It's just like, oh, that's my girlfriend.

[40:44] My favorite thing was when he found pictures of his girlfriend tied up in the hotel room.

[40:50] And then he had flashes of what it probably looked like to have her lying there all tied up.

Elliott Kalan

[40:54] Yeah, he just imagined it.

[40:55] He couldn't be remembering it.

[40:56] Yeah, there's no way he could remember that.

[40:57] Because he wasn't there.

Stuart Wellington

[40:58] Yeah, he's not like a spirit walker or something.

[41:01] If only.

Elliott Kalan

[41:02] Yeah.

[41:02] But, yeah, it was like, but the movie, for the most part, never stopped moving.

[41:06] And it was so, it was endearingly stupid, for the most part.

[41:08] Like, it did not ask you to believe that John Santa was very bright.

[41:12] Just that he could think his way through very simple puzzles that didn't really make sense.

[41:17] A lot of the times, he was in these cat and mouse games where the rules were stacked and

[41:21] they didn't follow any logic.

[41:23] And they didn't even try to make them into, like, puzzles, really.

[41:27] It was more like, get to this place on time.

[41:30] And then, fucking do stuff.

[41:32] I don't care.

[41:32] Whatever, man.

[41:33] Just do shit.

[41:35] And everyone, like, played their parts to the tilt.

[41:39] They were all yelling at each other all the time.

[41:41] And, you know, it was just stupid, fun stuff.

[41:44] But, like, so stupid.

[41:46] Just stupid, stupid.

[41:48] I have to say, I have stupid.

[41:49] Rock stupid.

Stuart Wellington

[41:49] I have a lot of affection for any kind of an action movie where your master criminal,

[41:54] the entire movie, the hero, like, is repeatedly put in situations where you're like,

[41:59] oh, no, if he fucks this up just a little bit, he's going to get exploded.

[42:03] And then at the end you find out that, like, every little nuance of this entire story,

[42:08] like, the master criminal has planned out.

[42:10] And then at the very end he's like, you know what?

[42:13] I'm going to stake my entire getaway plan on this hostage to fly me away.

[42:17] Like, at this point she has nothing to lose.

[42:20] We're in a helicopter.

[42:21] I can't threaten her with a fucking gun.

[42:23] Because she can just say, oh, you shoot me, now we'll fucking crash and you're dead,

[42:26] dumbass.

Dan McCoy

[42:27] Yeah.

[42:27] I can't believe actually we didn't even address this.

[42:29] Is that, yes, the whole thing turned out to be Miles Johnson or whatever, like, trying

Elliott Kalan

[42:37] Jack Travis.

[42:39] Mark Trail.

Dan McCoy

[42:41] Jack Markson.

Elliott Kalan

[42:43] Jack Johnson.

Dan McCoy

[42:44] His scheme, like, as we said, was, like, really just a distraction for his, like, money-making scheme.

[42:52] And so John Sando...

[42:53] Thousands of tiny ads in newspapers all across the country.

[42:56] John Sandoz was a pawn this whole time.

[42:59] So all the times where, like, he put John Sandoz in physical danger early in the film

[43:06] don't make any sense because, like, if John Sandoz didn't turn out to be the super cop,

[43:10] he would have died.

Elliott Kalan

[43:12] And also...

[43:13] And the plan would have been foiled by his death.

[43:14] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:15] And also this master criminal, apparently, like, even though he just escaped from prison,

[43:20] had time to run around town and set up all these elaborate...

[43:24] This, like, snipers.

[43:26] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[43:27] Oh, God.

[43:28] And what's great about...

[43:29] Well, and what I would have liked to have seen is this moment of realization in our hero's

[43:33] face.

[43:33] Like, you know what...

[43:34] You were not going to see any emotions in the hero's face.

[43:37] You were going to see gritted teeth or a dumbstruck idiot.

[43:40] I would have liked to see this moment of realization where he's like, you know what, this guy, he's a

[43:45] criminal, but he had this all planned out.

[43:48] Like, at no point was I genuinely in any real danger or my girlfriend.

[43:53] And then he, you know, instead of beating the guy to death or whatever...

[43:57] Well, he took him to dinner?

[43:58] Yeah.

[43:58] Like, you know, well, he put him in cuffs or something and then took him to jail.

[44:03] Yeah.

[44:04] Handle of respect.

[44:05] Yeah.

[44:05] Instead of, you know, just killing the criminal and scattering all the evidence of his wrongdoings.

Elliott Kalan

[44:10] Again, like, he's killed him and all this money was being taken out of circulation anyway.

[44:14] So it's not like it was going anywhere it needed to go.

[44:16] But, like, yeah, all the money he stole was just fluttering down to the streets of New Orleans.

[44:21] The helicopter has exploded and it's not like it was vaporized.

[44:24] There's big fucking chunks of helicopter falling on the streets of New Orleans.

[44:28] And he's like, oh, it's all over, baby.

[44:31] Like, I hope he at least...

[44:32] His partner is dead.

[44:33] I hope he at least has to fill out some paperwork for this.

Dan McCoy

[44:35] There was a shot of, like, a gurney falling out of the helicopter and I wanted an insert of, like, that gurney hitting someone on the street below.

[44:43] Like, oh, my God, the horror, the destruction caused by John Santa.

Elliott Kalan

[44:47] He's wrecked no less than 40 cars in the course of the film.

[44:51] And motorcycles.

Stuart Wellington

[44:53] Once you hit that point, you don't have to do paperwork anymore.

[44:57] Yeah, they fire you.

[44:59] Yeah.

[44:59] It's police procedure.

[45:01] Anytime it's police procedure, if you're a detective and a master criminal has captured your girlfriend, you do not have to contact anybody.

Elliott Kalan

[45:09] That's the other thing.

[45:09] This whole thing is caused because a year ago, when he first stopped and caught Mick Jorgsen, he, like, instead of calling for backup...

[45:18] The famous Swedish master criminal.

[45:21] Marjolglin.

[45:22] Instead of calling for backup and telling them, I think I found this guy, he just starts shooting at the car and then running after it on foot.

[45:30] Like, and he says at one point, like, to his partner, he's like, if I'd call for backup, maybe none of this would have happened.

Stuart Wellington

[45:36] Maybe this girl wouldn't have died.

Elliott Kalan

[45:37] Maybe that girl wouldn't have died.

[45:38] He's like, yeah, you're exactly right.

Dan McCoy

[45:40] Most likely she wouldn't have died.

[45:41] John Santa's now two for two for dumb action movies.

[45:44] This is the Marine.

Stuart Wellington

[45:45] Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good, though.

[45:47] Like, that's a pretty good record.

[45:49] Yeah.

[45:50] That Steven Sagal, I don't know if he could say the same thing.

[45:55] Steven Squaggle.

[45:57] It's a square bagel.

Dan McCoy

[45:58] So, we don't have any mail this week.

[46:05] Boo.

[46:06] Whose fault is that, Dan?

[46:07] Yeah, it's true.

[46:08] The listeners.

[46:09] Better check the email.

[46:11] I'll accept that answer.

[46:12] It sounded like you were going to accuse me for a second there.

[46:14] Well, you could have written some fake letters.

[46:15] It's my mom's fault for not sending us any emails this week.

[46:18] Wait a minute.

Elliott Kalan

[46:19] It's all those letters about what a sexy voice you have.

[46:22] I know.

Dan McCoy

[46:23] I'm going to take this time to, you know, do a little house cleaning, a little business.

[46:29] If you want to write us, you can do that at theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[46:35] You do want to write us.

[46:36] What's that email address again?

[46:39] Theflophousepodcast, all one word, at gmail.com.

Elliott Kalan

[46:43] Theflophousepodcast, all one word, at gmail.com.

Dan McCoy

[46:45] No, no, don't spell out all one word because that's not part of me.

Elliott Kalan

[46:48] Do you spell it differently in the email address?

[46:50] Ah, Jesus Christ.

Dan McCoy

[46:52] And also, you can go to us on the web at theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com.

[46:59] And, you know, there's other stuff on the website.

[47:03] We want a wieldy, right?

Elliott Kalan

[47:05] What?

[47:05] We want a wieldy for most unwieldy URL and email address.

[47:10] Coveted wieldy.

Stuart Wellington

[47:11] So, yeah, and we want, what, emails?

[47:13] We want email pictures.

[47:15] Pictures.

[47:16] Videos.

[47:17] Cakes with files baked in them.

Elliott Kalan

[47:19] Yeah, in case we want to escape from Dan's apartment.

[47:21] Yep.

[47:22] And we should start a contest at some point, I think.

Dan McCoy

[47:24] Oh, yes.

[47:25] Ellie, you wanted to restart the Flop with the Floppers contest.

Elliott Kalan

[47:29] Yeah, because the winner of the Flop with the Floppers contest moved out of town and didn't

[47:33] get to collect her prize, a night with Stuart Wellington.

[47:37] And the rest of us watching a movie.

[47:39] But, so, if, you know, we should restart that contest.

Dan McCoy

[47:43] Well, the contest was always sort of vague, so maybe we should.

Elliott Kalan

[47:45] It was pretty much just do something that was Flophouse related.

Dan McCoy

[47:48] Do something that we think is cool that's Flophouse related.

Elliott Kalan

[47:51] Well, try to help get our listenership.

Dan McCoy

[47:53] Yeah, impress us.

[47:53] Get out the word.

[47:54] Impress us.

[47:54] Get out the word.

[47:56] Send us evidence of you doing this.

[47:58] Yeah.

[47:58] And maybe you can win a you expenses paid trip to watch a movie with us.

Elliott Kalan

[48:06] We'll provide some of the expenses.

[48:07] I will provide the Popeye's brand fried chicken.

Dan McCoy

[48:09] I'll buy some beer.

[48:11] I'll probably be wearing a small swimsuit the whole time.

[48:13] As he is right now.

[48:14] As he is now.

[48:15] He's wearing a tiny swimsuit.

[48:17] This is the second podcast we have recorded where Stuart has taken his pants off to reveal

[48:22] an alarmingly small swimsuit.

[48:25] Not just to reveal, to remain in.

[48:28] Watch the entire movie in and then do the entire podcast recording in.

Stuart Wellington

[48:33] But, I mean, don't get me wrong, guys.

[48:35] I am wearing socks and shoes at the same time.

Dan McCoy

[48:41] All right.

[48:41] So there's that.

[48:44] Elliot...

[48:44] There's something very Tom of Finland about it, yeah.

[48:46] Yep.

[48:47] By the time that this podcast goes out, they will not be able to see The Devil and Dangle Webster.

[48:53] No.

[48:54] That will pass.

Elliott Kalan

[48:55] Because that's on this Wednesday, the 15th.

Dan McCoy

[48:57] But you will be doing more 92Y screenings starting in September, correct?

Elliott Kalan

[49:02] Starting in September.

[49:03] I'm going to have...

[49:03] In September, we'll be showing Love Me Tonight, which is a great movie.

[49:06] It's one of the silliest movies in the world.

[49:09] 30s musical that's really silly, but a lot of fun.

[49:11] And in October, we're supposed to be showing The Old Dark House.

[49:16] I think we have the print order for that, which is a very crazy old movie.

[49:22] It's the movie James Whale made between Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, and it is about

[49:26] a bunch of nuts living in an old dark house, and they are spooky.

Dan McCoy

[49:29] Well, that sounds good.

[49:31] And there will be one more Mr. White Pants sketch show after this podcast goes out on July

[49:39] 24th, I believe.

[49:41] That's a Friday.

[49:42] Friday the 24th at the Magnet Theater.

[49:45] And I'll put a link up on the site.

[49:49] A Flophouse fan came out to the last show and said hi.

Elliott Kalan

[49:54] Flophouse fans are very friendly.

[49:56] I was a guest on Comic Book Club at The Pit, and there was a Flophouse fan in the audience.

[50:01] I believe this is the same gentleman.

Dan McCoy

[50:03] It might be.

[50:03] He's a very nice guy.

[50:04] That's awesome.

Stuart Wellington

[50:05] I want to plug something.

[50:06] Yeah?

[50:07] Okay.

[50:08] Wait, no.

[50:09] I'm not plugging a weird question this time.

[50:12] Or the fact that you bought blue jeans.

[50:14] Or my new blue jeans.

[50:15] Blue jeans.

[50:16] What I want to plug is one of a longtime Flophouse fan, a movie aficionado, and a rock and roller,

[50:25] a friend of mine, Alexander Smith, Alexander Delicious Smith.

[50:30] He's been working on a record.

[50:32] Yeah.

[50:32] And you should go check it out on MySpace.

[50:35] If you like music, check it out.

[50:38] His little band's called Lydia Burrell.

[50:41] L-Y-D-I-A.

[50:43] Burrell is B-U-R-R-E-L-L.

[50:46] Check it out.

[50:47] Awesome stuff.

Dan McCoy

[50:48] He's a very funny gentleman as well.

[50:51] He wrote, if you look up, I believe his website is Sounds Delicious.

[50:56] He wrote a very funny review of the movie Wanted, which I enjoyed a lot.

[51:00] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:01] At least something good came out of the movie Wanted.

Dan McCoy

[51:04] All right.

[51:04] So now that we've done our round of plugs, I think we can move on to less boring things.

[51:10] Which should be, I think, recommending some movies.

[51:13] Quick recommenders.

[51:14] Proving that we're not miserable bastards.

[51:15] We've got to get out of here.

Stuart Wellington

[51:16] Sure.

[51:16] Okay.

[51:17] I'll go first.

[51:18] I'm going to recommend a movie directed by Rennie Harland.

[51:24] Harland?

[51:24] Harland.

[51:25] Like Harland Wilson?

[51:27] Yeah.

[51:28] Or Harland Ellison.

[51:31] Harland Ellison.

[51:32] Yeah.

[51:32] It's not even his name.

[51:34] It's a little movie directed by Rennie Harland.

[51:37] Again.

[51:39] It's called Mind Hunters.

[51:41] Okay.

[51:42] I probably recommended this before.

Elliott Kalan

[51:43] You mentioned it earlier in the podcast.

Stuart Wellington

[51:45] The thing that's great about this movie is, well, this is a movie that was advertised and

[51:51] then it was pushed back and it was advertised and pushed back and eventually it had a direct

[51:55] to video release.

[51:57] It's about a group of FBI like trainees who are being trained to hunt down serial killers.

[52:03] So they have to get into the mind of a killer and they get put on this weird island

[52:08] and surprise, surprise, one of their number turns out to be a serial killer.

[52:12] Now this has Val Kilmer.

[52:15] Val Kilmer is great in it.

[52:16] Christian Slater.

[52:17] Is Lil' Coolch in it?

[52:18] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[52:19] The aforementioned Ladies Love Cool James is in it.

[52:22] Yeah, Lil' Coolch.

[52:22] Absolutely.

[52:23] Johnny Lee Miller.

[52:25] Wow.

[52:26] Is he Plunkett or McClane?

Elliott Kalan

[52:28] I think he's both of them in this movie.

[52:31] Since that's what he plays in every movie apparently.

[52:34] So, yeah.

[52:35] Back then you could make a movie about punk highway men.

Stuart Wellington

[52:39] If you want to see a bad movie that is totally fun and it's about serial killer hunting students,

[52:50] it's awesome.

[52:51] Good movie.

[52:51] Okay.

[52:52] And at one point, Christian Slater gets his body frozen and dies.

[52:56] Wow.

[52:56] And then he gets shattered.

Dan McCoy

[52:58] Wow.

[52:58] Spoiler alert.

[52:59] It's okay.

[53:00] I'm going to recommend the movie.

[53:02] I actually picked this up on DVD cheap recently.

[53:06] The movie Something Wild.

[53:08] It's a Jonathan Demme movie.

[53:09] Along with Stop Making Sense, probably my favorite Jonathan Demme, two movies.

[53:17] You know, like before he made Silence of the Lambs, he made these like great oddball comedies.

[53:23] And that movie, you know, it's one of the like really good like gear shift, like shift in tone movies.

[53:34] Like it starts out as sort of a...

[53:36] Like audition.

[53:37] Yeah.

[53:37] I mean, it starts out as sort of like a screwball comedy and then it gets really sort of like tense.

[53:44] It's like a tense thriller as soon as Ray Liotta shows up.

[53:48] Spoiler alert.

[53:49] Yeah.

[53:50] It's a beautifully shot movie.

[53:52] It's got a lot of great music in it.

[53:55] And at one point they go to like this reunion and the Feelys are the band that's playing the reunion live.

Elliott Kalan

[54:01] And it's just really fun.

[54:04] That's what I recommend.

[54:05] I'm going to recommend not a movie, but a book about a movie.

[54:09] Oh, man.

[54:10] Hello, outside of the box like Sarah Palin.

[54:12] You may...

[54:13] It sounds crazy, but it's just because I'm...

[54:14] Is that a euphemism?

[54:15] No, it's not a euphemism.

[54:16] Okay.

[54:18] I recently read the book The Devil's Candy by Julie Salomon, I believe her name is.

[54:23] And it's a book about Salomon.

Dan McCoy

[54:25] Is it about like saltwater taffy?

Elliott Kalan

[54:27] Is that The Devil's Candy?

[54:27] It is not.

[54:28] It is The Devil's Candy.

[54:28] It tastes terrible.

[54:30] Oh, I guess Candy Corn would be The Devil's Candy then.

[54:34] Devil's Candy is a book about the making of the film version of Bonfire of the Vanities.

[54:38] Famously not a very good movie.

[54:40] Huge flop when it came out.

[54:43] And it is a really good, very thorough look at the making of this film in which a ton of

[54:50] very talented people working as hard as they can...

[54:54] You're talking about Melanie Griffith.

[54:55] Just Melanie Griffith.

[54:57] But like...

[54:57] But a lot of...

[54:58] Like it's a ton of very talented people working as hard as they can made a really shitty film

[55:03] that it's not the worst movie in the world, but it's pretty bad.

[55:07] And she goes...

[55:08] She talks about so many things on a movie set that you don't usually read about.

[55:12] She talks about the experience that Bruce Willis' body double, who stands in for him during

[55:17] lighting tests, what he goes through, things like that, what all the location guys were

[55:22] going through.

[55:23] Literally every facet of making a movie that big.

[55:26] At the time it cost about 40 some odd million dollars, which was huge.

[55:30] This was like 1990.

[55:31] And it's just really good.

[55:33] And you know in the back of your mind that this movie is going to be shit.

[55:37] So every time they're like, it's a lot of work, but it's all going to be up on film.

[55:41] This is going to be a great movie.

[55:42] And you're like, oh, you poor deluded people.

[55:44] This is terrible.

[55:46] And you see them every step of the way working as hard as they can and making the kind of

[55:50] compromises that will not help the film at all, but will hurt it.

[55:53] And it's a really good book.

Dan McCoy

[55:54] By the way, I don't know why I singled out and made fun of Melanie Griffith, seeing as

[55:58] I just recommended something wild.

Elliott Kalan

[55:59] One of the movies that made her.

[56:01] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[56:01] Co-stars Melanie Griffith.

[56:02] I'm sorry, Melanie Griffith.

[56:04] You've done good work.

Elliott Kalan

[56:05] Yeah, diehard Flophouse listener Melanie Griffith is not going to be happy.

[56:09] You're going to get an angry letter from Antonio Manderas, sir.

[56:13] Oh, Manderas?

[56:16] Antonio Manderas, yeah.

[56:17] He's got so much testosterone.

[56:19] That's what we call him right here.

[56:19] As well as a signed copy of his directorial debut, Crazy in Alabama, starring his wife,

[56:24] Melanie Griffith.

Dan McCoy

[56:25] He's going to come by, he's going to beat me up, and yet I'm going to feel strangely

[56:28] grateful to him.

[56:30] Yeah.

[56:30] Yep.

[56:31] Because he's such a man.

Elliott Kalan

[56:32] A man whose greatest success lately has been voicing a cartoon cat.

[56:36] All right.

[56:38] So, guys.

[56:39] Flophouse, eh?

[56:41] It's a podcast that we do.

[56:43] I love it.

[56:45] You've done how many of these?

[56:46] 40 now?

[56:47] I still can't find any way to gracefully end them.

[56:50] Nope.

[56:51] Impossible.

[56:53] So, we're done, right?

[56:54] Yeah.

[56:54] Okay.

[56:55] Say your name.

Dan McCoy

[56:56] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[56:57] I'm Dan McCoy.

[56:58] I will always be Elliot Kalin.

[57:00] Good night, everyone.

[57:02] Bye.

[57:03] Take your, put your pants back off.

[57:06] Oh, fuck that.

Stuart Wellington

[57:13] That's where I said that.

[57:14] Emanuel in space.

[57:15] Because you're actually talking.

[57:17] Emanuel versus the vampires.

Elliott Kalan

[57:18] Emanuel in Rio.

[57:19] That's a terrible movie, Emanuel versus the vampires.

[57:21] Not sexy, even, at all.

[57:22] I have never even seen it.

[57:23] Oh, well.

[57:24] Or I think it's Emanuel versus Dracula is what it's called, I think.

Stuart Wellington

[57:27] I kind of want to see Vampire Girl versus Frankenstein Girl, but.

[57:30] I don't know that one.

[57:31] It's a Japanese movie.

[57:32] Ah, I should have known.

[57:33] It's by the guy who made Robo Geisha.

The Flop House_ Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

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