The Flop House_ Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

[0:00] John Cena and Rennie Harlin all hail the bad movie gods. We watched 12 rounds

[0:30] of bad movies and then chat. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalin, don't

[0:48] you know. Elliot? What kind of an accent is that? That was my normal accent. I just put

[0:55] don't you know at the end of it. You weren't here for the last episode. No I was. I wasn't

[0:59] here for the one before that. There's a little bit of a break in between. It all runs together.

[1:05] I've stopped caring. You've been drinking I think. I've stopped caring long ago. You've

[1:08] been drinking and eating too much corned beef. What did we watch last time? Friday the 13th.

[1:12] Oh right. That was great. We've only been doing movies with numbers in it. We're counting

[1:17] down backwards. It's 13 last week and 12 this week. Yeah and before that Bride. We watched

[1:22] a movie with. Yeah you know 12, 13, Bride. It's counting. So what did we watch this week?

[1:30] A movie called 12 rounds. Okay well I imagine the listeners. 7 pounds? No 12 rounds. Sorry

[1:38] never mind then. 7 pounds the Batman villain who commits 7 pound themed crimes. Yeah this

[1:44] is a joke that has occurred entirely off mic for the flop house. It's an inside joke. Yeah

[1:51] so now they feel like the people listening feel like they're inside on it right? Yeah they think

[1:55] we're pals off camera instead of enemies which we are. Or frenemies maybe. Yeah. So a lot of people

[2:02] when I say you know I have to watch this fucking movie for this stupid podcast tonight and they're

[2:07] like oh what are you watching? Like all excited. I'm like I don't know something called 12 rounds

[2:13] and they're like what's the fuck's that? So I then have to explain it. So I don't think. I

[2:17] mean it wasn't like a really well known movie. No it was written up on the onions website and

[2:22] that's the only other place I saw it really. Yeah that's the most notoriety it's gotten. I remember

[2:27] seeing ads for it when it was out and basically I was like is that villain Eric Bogosian? Oh no

[2:36] wait it's Karkati from The Wire and that was basically my entire you know knowing about 12

[2:41] rounds. I've heard that in so many movies now. Yeah you think Eric Bogosian's in so many movies? Yeah and it

[2:45] turns out to be somebody else. Mm-hmm. I think for me it was in the trailer yeah you know they

[2:53] revealed that the hero is WWE star John Cena who was the star of one of my favorite movies of all

[3:00] time. Of course I'm talking about The Marine. And then I found out that this movie's directed by

[3:06] Rennie Harlan. Director of the least profitable film in film history right? Which one's that? Cutthroat

[3:12] Island I think it was? Oh no kidding I didn't know that. At one point it was it might not be anymore but it

[3:16] cost them at the time you know like a hundred and eighty million dollars and then it was you know

[3:21] nothing. Elliot if you want to get a Matthew Modine you're gonna be paying top dollar. That's for the

[3:28] Modine touch. Yeah. You know when Pirates of the Caribbean came out Rennie Harlan was like ah now

[3:34] they understand. Now they get pirates. Yeah he was just he was too too too ahead of his time. Yeah.

[3:40] Similar when he came out with Mindhunters the movie about the FBI students who are being trained

[3:47] to hunt down serial killers but one of them happens to be a serial killer. To hunt minds? Yeah. Oh Mindhunter.

[3:53] Mindhunter. That was Mimehunter. No. Or like a Minehunter like they hunt down rogue mines. Well it wasn't an adaptation of the popular Microsoft game Minehunter. They didn't adapt that into a movie. Yeah. So the movie

[4:09] was a free sale. I thought it was Minehunter the German film. It means My Hunter. Oh wow that's a direct translation. Thanks for the help. The character's name was Hunter. Okay. So twelve rounds. What's the fucking deal there Dan? Well. WTFTD. WTFDTD. I'll sum it up. I'll sum it up quick style and then you guys can fill in the gaps. Okay. You probably missed stuff. Yeah. Basically. He kept getting up to

[4:39] serve corned beef to us. Yeah. And cake. And cake at one point. I'm a hell of a host. And you were scrapbooking most of the time. I was doing some decoupage. A lot of pulling out your rare stamps and ah 1943 Madagascar butterfly. Look. Misprint if you notice. Like Dan we're trying to watch twelve rounds. Flatly doesn't take care of itself. That's something you gotta keep up with. The plane is upside down. Dan Tomasina is stopping a trolley car with another car. Come on.

[5:07] Nope. Tom's. Yeah. I figure after watching twelve rounds I deserve to call him that. So basically John Cena. Oh that's right John Cena. I thought his name was Thomas for some reason. Whatever. It can be Tom Cena. So Tom Cena. Famous weatherman Tom Cena. Is the most muscular detective in the universe. Well he starts out as just a regular cop. Like a beat cop. In New Orleans. Okay. Or New York.

[5:37] Or New Orleans. The big easy. Yeah. Where everything is easy. And big if you're John Cena. So you know Irish I guess. International arms dealer. Oh was he? I thought. He's an international arms dealer. Okay. Tommy Karketty from the wire. Here his name is. Miles Jackson. Miles Jackson. The classically Irish name Miles Jackson.

[6:04] You know he's doing his normal super criminal stuff. Yep. When he is thwarted by a regular cop John Cena. Who chases his car down on foot. Yeah they're in like these like warrens. These like this very lonely town. The rabbit den. Yeah it was like Watership Down. And somehow for some reason they keep turning down side streets. And he keeps chasing them like he's jumping over buildings. Through alleyways.

[6:31] And you wouldn't expect a guy on foot to be able to sneak around. And get ahead of them. But he does. Well as Elliot. Then you don't know Tom Cena. As Elliot pointed out. It was like a serious version of that scene from Raising Arizona. Where Nicolas Cage is running through the house. And almost get bit by the dog. And at one point. It's like the scene in Evil Dead. Where he's running through a deserted house. Or Evil Dead 2 I guess. But anyway. John Cena thwarts Karketty's evil plan. But in the process. Miles Jackson's.

[7:01] Beloved girlfriend is hit by a truck and killed. Instantly. And so flash forward one year. This information is written on a billiard ball. Which is then knocked out of frame. Because Cena and his partner are playing billiards. Oh I missed that. That's some Rennie Harlan style. It's like superimposed on the ball. It's not really written on it. But then it's superimposed. No that would be great. If just Rennie Harlan wrote it on a ball with a sharpie.

[7:32] One year later. Yeah one year later. What's going on? Is he a millionaire? Is he some kind of a superhero? Running for president. Well close. He's half man half tiger. He's been promoted. He's been promoted along with his partner. His Lothario partner. Who's always looking for ladies.

[7:53] You can tell that Rennie Harlan wanted to get his favorite actor LL Cool J to play that part. But LL was too busy being loved by the ladies. So they got someone who was vaguely resembled him a little bit. Just because he was black? I said vaguely a little bit. Jesus Christ. Vaguely a little bit. In that if you were a racist.

[8:18] Quit trying to paint me as a racist through the medium of podcasts. So John Santa's girlfriend gets kidnapped by Miles Jackson. Who's just broken out of prison right? Yeah. Apparently in retribution for John Santa killing his girlfriend. Inadvertently.

[8:41] John Santa's character's name by the way is Danny Fisher. They don't call him John Santa. They might as well call him John Santa. That would be pretty awesome though. You would get that in old movies. You'd have like Gene Autry or Roy Rogers would be playing. There's a Gene Autry movie where he finds robots living underground. But I think his name is Gene Autry in the movie. So you have to assume like I guess this is what his life is like when he's not making movies. He's fighting robots.

[9:08] But Miles Jackson keeps calling up John Santa. You know. Danny Fisher. 88 Minutes style. To badger him. Except he doesn't have a catch phrase. The 88 Minutes killer at least had Tick Tock Dock. Well but his catch phrase is sort of the whole boxing metaphor that he sets up. Oh that's right. There's 12 rounds. The first round apparently is him blowing up John Santa's house.

[9:33] The second round is him kidnapping his girlfriend. And then the rest of the rounds are him manipulating John Santa's character into going around doing a bunch of stuff. Sort of like Die Hard 3 basically. Doesn't he also blow up a plumber in the first round? Yes the plumber has come by to fix the sink. Kill the human being. Collateral damage. Plumbers aren't real. We're told in an exposition that John Santa could have fixed the sink himself by replacing some

[10:00] piece of some part that was broken. Yeah, a flange sprocket. This flange sprocket was broken,

[10:04] he didn't get a diddle wad to fix it, and the plumber had to come and fix it. John Santa goes

[10:10] outside of his house because his car blows up, and then the house blows up. And it's briefly noted

[10:17] that the plumber was in there, and then they kind of forget about it. Yeah, I'm not going to go into

[10:21] all of the 12 rounds now because we can go into more detail later. We'll just skip to the end

[10:25] where inevitably it is discovered that the 12 rounds are, again, Die Hard 3 style, a distraction

[10:31] from the real plot, which involves, I don't know, like diamonds or something. You're stealing $100

[10:36] million in currency that was pulled from circulation that is being held at the Bureau

[10:41] of Engraving in New Orleans. Okay, and this twisted path leads us to an all-out, no holds

[10:49] barred grudge match in a helicopter because the girlfriend is a medevac helicopter res,

[10:57] I don't know. Helicopterics. It's a transformer, right? I hope so, it better be. Turns from a

[11:04] helicopter into a sexy lady. Into a dinosaur. Into an Archaeopteryx, yeah. So who will triumph

[11:10] in this helicopter battle? Will it be the villain or the hero? As Stuart pointed out, I think,

[11:16] will it be the tiny villain with very thin arms or will it be John Cena who, as you pointed out,

[11:22] Dan, is a golem? He's a fucking monster. He is. He basically, the only thing here-

[11:29] Combine Heath Ledger with a mountain and that's John Cena.

[11:31] The only thing that compares to him are the scenes in John Rambo when Sylvester Stallone

[11:37] is just kind of like running through swamps and looks more animal than man.

[11:41] Like some kind of a mud man. Like some kind of Neanderthal who's escaped into our time.

[11:48] You have to assume that at some point a gorilla was shaved, somehow taught to speak English,

[11:54] and is now roaming the earth as a cop in New Orleans.

[11:56] Yeah. So which was your favorite of the 12 rounds?

[12:01] Way to turn it on us, Dan.

[12:03] Yeah, man, that's going to be tough. I liked all of them.

[12:07] It's a cop-out answer.

[12:10] Hey, guys, I liked when they were on the bus and the snipers were just going to indiscriminately

[12:16] shoot into the bus and kill everybody.

[12:18] Well, what happened on the bus? Why were they on a bus?

[12:20] They were on a bus because the bad guy wanted to talk to the good guy, right?

[12:24] But he strapped a bomb to Molly's chest, and if his thumb is off of a trigger for more than 10

[12:29] seconds, the bomb goes off in two ways. First, it drives us out of the way.

[12:34] First, it drives a nail into her heart, and then second, it sets off a bomb that

[12:41] blows up the whole bus. So John Santa will die with innocence,

[12:44] but he'll live to see Molly die first, right before his eyes.

[12:47] Yeah, okay. Well, you've just explained what my question was going to be.

[12:50] Why couldn't it just be a one-stage bomb?

[12:52] I assume it's so that he could see his girlfriend die the same way that Mick Johnson did.

[12:57] Yeah, Dan Jackson.

[12:59] Mark Joseph.

[13:02] Bro Bissef.

[13:03] So they're on this bus, and they're talking about some bullshit that I wasn't really paying

[13:07] attention to.

[13:08] They're asking why they saw last night's house.

[13:09] Yep.

[13:10] There's a lot. I know he never said, but I assumed he would.

[13:13] We're not so different, you and I. Two sides of the same coin.

[13:18] Seven pounds.

[13:20] And so there wasn't a moment like, okay, so they're having their chat.

[13:24] They're talking about similarities, differences.

[13:27] Poetry.

[13:29] I think they talk about his girlfriend a little bit. I don't remember.

[13:32] It's probably a Yates fan coming from Ireland.

[13:34] I have to assume so, yeah.

[13:36] The FBI has a shitload of snipers positioned on an overpass, and they're like, yeah, we

[13:41] don't have a clear shot.

[13:42] And the good FBI agents are like, oh, no, you can't do that.

[13:45] You're going to need one shot to take out the glass, and then the other one is going

[13:48] to take out the killer or whatever.

[13:49] Yeah, because they've got that reinforced bus glass.

[13:52] Yeah, and they're firing BBs.

[13:55] They're using Play-Doh bullets.

[13:59] So for a clean takedown, dude.

[14:01] So they're like, clearly, we don't have a shot.

[14:04] But then, of course, the kind of evil-

[14:06] The asshole FBI one.

[14:07] He's like, take the shot, take the shot.

[14:08] And then, of course, John Sane is forced to save the bad guy by being shot by a sniper

[14:14] rifle bullet, which slows him down for a couple minutes.

[14:17] For about a second.

[14:19] And then it's business as usual.

[14:21] I believe he even, with a bullet wound in his right shoulder, manages to land a pretty

[14:26] devastating right hook on the evil FBI agent.

[14:30] On the cranky FBI agent.

[14:31] Yeah, what was the deal with, like, okay, there's a couple problems with plausibility

[14:37] in 12 rounds.

[14:38] I would say it starts with moment one.

[14:41] But one of the problems is the FBI, instead of being like, all right, we're not going

[14:45] to play this evil genius's game, is like, oh, okay, this cop has been drawn into this

[14:53] deadly game of cat and mouse.

[14:55] We should offer him all the support we can.

[14:57] Yeah, well, he operates with unlimited authority in the city of New Orleans.

[15:01] The movie almost would have been better if he wasn't instead of a cop was like the crooked

[15:06] political boss of New Orleans and had to prove himself.

[15:09] So when he, like, commandeers a fire truck or does whatever the hell he wants, it'd be

[15:13] like, oh, that's boss.

[15:14] You know, that's boss.

[15:16] So, you know, he can do whatever he wants in this thing.

[15:19] What period is this movie?

[15:20] I was going to give him a crazy New Orleans name, but I couldn't think of one.

[15:23] What?

[15:23] In your mind, what time period is this film set?

[15:26] Fucking Moulin Rouge, man.

[15:27] Any time period.

[15:28] Like Boss Redbone or...

[15:31] Yeah, exactly.

[15:33] Crawfish Daniels.

[15:35] But also these FBI agents who are offering unlimited support.

[15:38] There's one, they're both bald.

[15:41] There's the white bald guy and the black bald guy.

[15:43] And the black bald guy has a little toy matchbox car, and he has a nervous tick where he's

[15:48] constantly flipping open the hood and then closing it back down again with his thumb.

[15:52] And it is possibly the dumbest character moment or character like a little bit of

[15:56] business that I've seen in a movie.

[15:58] But they make the one bald guy, the black bald guy, into a cranky jerk for no reason.

[16:06] Does not care about victims, does not care about people.

[16:08] He is dedicated to catching Miles Jansen.

[16:12] The arms dealer.

[16:14] Yeah, Mills Jorson.

[16:16] But he doesn't seem to care how it happens, doesn't care who dies in the process.

[16:21] He has no...

[16:22] And later on in the movie, he says, I realized this is about the people he hurt, the people

[16:26] he could hurt.

[16:27] And it's like, why were you trying to catch him if you didn't care that he's hurt people?

[16:31] It's like the screenwriters of this movie.

[16:34] I assume that there are multiple screenwriters of this movie.

[16:37] It's like Shakespeare.

[16:38] You need people rewriting and writing the folios over and over again.

[16:41] I assume that they had seen a bunch of action movies, so they were familiar with the archetypal

[16:49] characters that you encounter in an action film, but they came in 30 minutes late in

[16:54] every case and didn't see the justification for those characters' personalities.

[16:58] So they had the FBI agent who was just obstructionist and a dick and didn't care about people,

[17:03] but they didn't give any reason for that.

[17:06] And he just kind of disappears from the movie for a big chunk of it, too.

[17:10] During my favorite round, when John Cena is tricked into dialing a phone number, which

[17:16] sets off a bomb destroying the brakes of a cable car, and they've got to stop it because

[17:23] it's going to run right into a children's carnival, which for some reason is being held

[17:29] in the middle of the street at the end of the trolley car track.

[17:33] And John Cena's brilliant plan is to race over to the trolley car as fast as he can.

[17:38] The people in the trolley seem to have no idea what's going on, that they're even in danger.

[17:42] And specifically, the conductor doesn't seem to really do anything.

[17:45] He just kind of fiddles with the brakes and looks around like, should I tell somebody?

[17:50] No, I mean, he gets a little panicked.

[17:51] He's like, oh, wait a minute.

[17:52] This trolley appears to be going much faster than a trolley usually travels.

[17:56] That's not an exaggeration of the amount of his panic.

[18:00] Oh, this is faster than I usually go on this route.

[18:04] Well, I normally stop at these different trolley stops.

[18:06] Well, life is a highway.

[18:07] I'll just go with it.

[18:08] I'll just ride it all night long.

[18:10] So their plan is to stop their car.

[18:14] Oh, no, they back the car up in front of the trolley.

[18:16] And they try to use their brakes to stop the trolley.

[18:20] Cena shoots out the windshield.

[18:21] Do you think they've got four-wheel brakes on that thing?

[18:23] I have to assume.

[18:25] They have to.

[18:25] They probably have like 20-wheel brakes.

[18:27] But he shoots out the windshield, climbs onto his car,

[18:31] jumps in through the windshield of the trolley car.

[18:33] And then he goes, this is his plan, pulls the brake on the trolley car, which doesn't work.

[18:39] So he gets on top of the trolley car, tries to destroy the power line,

[18:43] can't seem to do it.

[18:45] So they drive over to, he gets his car out from in front of the trolley car.

[18:48] Yeah, he climbs back into his own car.

[18:50] Climbs back into his own car.

[18:50] Having failed.

[18:51] Says to the bald, to the white bald FBI agent, that didn't work.

[18:55] They, oh, there's the power transformer over there.

[18:58] Why don't we just ram the car into the big generator unit?

[19:02] So they do.

[19:03] I assume that that's, you know, powering the specific trolley car.

[19:07] Yeah, just the one trolley car.

[19:08] So they do, which does nothing.

[19:11] It knocks out power and then the trolley car still, like, hits the carnival.

[19:15] I don't want to, I don't want to pass over this too quickly because.

[19:20] There's no lamb's blood on it.

[19:22] The most amazing thing in this whole sequence.

[19:23] Pass over, get it, lamb's blood.

[19:25] Yeah.

[19:26] No, it's good.

[19:26] Read your Torah, people.

[19:29] The most amazing thing in this whole sequence, and Elliot mentioned it,

[19:31] but I think it bears repeating.

[19:34] John Cena, you know, goes to the trouble of climbing from his car

[19:38] into a runaway trolley car just to try and hit the brakes himself.

[19:44] He's like, okay, the conductor is clearly not adequately applying the brakes.

[19:49] I'm going to get into the trolley car, hit the brakes.

[19:51] And then he's like, well, that didn't work.

[19:53] I'm, I'm, I'm fresh out of ideas, guys.

[19:56] I, John Cena, I'm out of ideas on this one.

[20:00] like to think that a couple seconds of him being like

[20:02] hey fbi guy who i'm riding around in

[20:05] uh... run this car with you know i guess riding around the fbi guy i wish that

[20:09] when i got to the trouble

[20:11] john cena leaped out of the fbi guy's mouth at the trolley car so he's riding

[20:15] around in this car with this guy if you just simply said

[20:18] okay i got a plan

[20:19] we're gonna

[20:20] try and slow down the trolley car with the brakes of our car

[20:24] and i'm gonna climb in there and try and pull the brake and the guy could have

[20:27] been like no you're fucking idiot

[20:29] clearly they would have already used the brakes

[20:32] well you know the man's a professional he's a trolley car driver the thing that

[20:35] reminded me more of anything was the beginning of uh...

[20:38] was the beginning of ghostbusters when he's like

[20:41] getter

[20:42] that was your whole plan ray

[20:44] getter

[20:44] like it was basically that but there was played for laughs where he was played for

[20:48] this guy's a fucking badass he's gonna have to try something else he's america's greatest hero

[20:54] what happens when america's greatest hero goes up against tommy karkatty

[20:59] america's greatest mayor

[21:03] explosions

[21:05] that's what happens it ends in an explosion i'm not gonna lie

[21:08] okay so there's a bunch of rounds there's some shit happens

[21:11] at the end there's some really awesome cgi

[21:14] yeah as we see

[21:15] uh... tommy karkatty realized that he's being engulfed in flame at the end

[21:19] so his eyes bug out for a second

[21:23] like uh... like a tex avery cartoon

[21:25] yeah the uh...

[21:27] i think that's a pretty accurate description uh... a little bit of an exaggeration

[21:31] the film is your average dumb uh... action film for most of its running time

[21:36] but dumber and then it has like a totally crazy

[21:40] ending where like uh... john cena is zapped with uh...

[21:44] defibrillator paddles

[21:47] the craziest face in the world it was one step away from him going aye aye aye aye

[21:52] and then his eyes going tilt and you know

[21:57] and then his big plan to escape the helicopter is to jump with his

[22:01] girlfriend

[22:01] into a rooftop pool which which luckily happens to be there we'll give them that

[22:06] but they jump they jump in the zaniest way possible it looks like they're like

[22:10] it looks like the beginning of like say

[22:11] a bond credit sequence where like

[22:14] like silhouettes are like dropping from the sky nude women

[22:18] no no like you know what i'm talking about

[22:20] yeah possibly nude women but possibly jake bond if it's a bond opening title

[22:24] sequence there's many nude women dropping out of the sky i'm saying the level of special effects is basically the same

[22:29] oh yeah and that like something is superimposed over something else well they jump roughly

[22:34] what three hundred feet two hundred feet out of a helicopter into a pool but it looks like

[22:38] they should be going like

[22:39] weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[22:40] as they fall and then at the end they're walking there there's money falling all around them

[22:45] because somehow he got the money on the helicopter that he stole from the bureau of engraving

[22:49] i missed that part

[22:52] and he they are walking by and uh... they pass by some people who are honeymooning there

[22:57] or whatever

[22:58] and uh... he's she says

[23:00] we better get you i'm gonna get you home and he goes

[23:03] about the house and then you hear

[23:07] as we

[23:08] wide shot of the roof

[23:10] pull back rock and roll music credits and it's just like

[23:13] about the house

[23:15] the plumber was murdered

[23:20] we should make a donation in his name somewhere

[23:23] yeah about the house we don't have one in a man died

[23:27] oh and we didn't talk about willie the overweight

[23:29] uh... hotel security worker

[23:31] who dies in an elevator crash you thought he was overweight

[23:34] i mean i thought he looked okay he seemed to weigh roughly three hundred and fifty pounds if not more

[23:39] but i mean for his height

[23:41] he was about

[23:42] what five seven come on

[23:45] i'm just saying i think you're being a little rough to the anchor

[23:47] okay this stout actor

[23:49] what about it what happened

[23:51] just it was they went to a lot of trouble to call him willie and

[23:54] name him willie like people called his name constantly yeah in his very brief

[23:58] moments on camera

[24:00] before willie everyone loves willie

[24:02] yet that was a guy who uh... was in the elevator car that was gonna fall yes

[24:07] who was gonna like

[24:08] fall in sixty seconds or something they said that you guys are pointing out that

[24:13] uh... the whole you know like good guy team

[24:17] very credulously

[24:18] enters this elevator

[24:20] that they know for a fact the bad guys had access to willie says

[24:25] willie has been seen on camera leading the villain somewhere

[24:29] oh he told me he was the elevator repairman that he was just coming by to do the repairs

[24:32] and then and then they're like well let's get in the elevator and find out where he went to

[24:36] last i saw him i left him entering this elevator i'll see you later he was

[24:40] carrying his bomb bag to the elevator

[24:44] he was asking me something about how much i weighed and whether or not i would die if i fell

[24:49] he had two pairs of pliers and he was like which one of these pliers do you think would be better for

[24:54] cutting an elevator cord i said definitely that one

[24:58] i'm a bit of an elevator expert so i can help him out on that issue and a cord

[25:02] cutting expert

[25:04] umbilical elevator i don't care if it's a cord i'll cut it he's trapped on a uh...

[25:08] he's trapped on this elevator that's about uh... about to fall within seconds and he

[25:13] like he's making very little effort to actually get out of this elevator willie

[25:18] they get to the top of the elevator

[25:20] thompson johnson thompson johnson is hanging from a window frame

[25:23] and he's saying willie give me your hand and willie's literally lying on his side going

[25:27] uh... i can't do it i can't do it

[25:30] so lazy

[25:31] he's such a lazy man

[25:32] he's had a good life yeah just getting to the roof is clearly not enough

[25:38] johnson literally

[25:39] pulls this man up completely onto the roof he can't really can't do it

[25:43] and willie gets on the roof and collapses and goes oh i didn't think i could do it

[25:47] you didn't do it johnson did it for you

[25:50] you didn't even do it because you didn't make it all the way like that's

[25:53] like running part of the way and then just standing there while the uh... like the

[25:57] speeding car runs you over and the only reason johnson could do it is because he has the

[26:00] strength of

[26:01] you know holy scrolls being placed inside his clay body because he's a mudman

[26:08] uh... this movie

[26:10] as we sort of alluded to before it makes me want to see a movie where john cena

[26:14] defends the jews of prague

[26:17] uh... like in the marine

[26:20] yeah is that what he does in the marine yes ok

[26:23] in the marine they build him to save the jewish ghetto against uh... robert

[26:28] patrick who's slowly morphing into uh... martin sheen

[26:33] i was going to say that this movie uh... i think we sort of alluded to it before

[26:38] but it's kind of like if aliens came and they saw some action movies

[26:43] and they just sort of merged them together

[26:45] it's got a bit of diehard three it's got a bit of uh...

[26:48] speed in the sense that there's like speeding bus and uh...

[26:53] his partner dies very jeff daniels style in speed

[26:57] like tracking down another thing but also it's

[27:00] like the fbi agents as we stated before

[27:03] are very indulgent in a way that they would only be if they're like

[27:07] we've seen action movies before clearly this is what's going on

[27:10] but there are also things like

[27:12] uh... his partner gets caught in an ambush

[27:15] and right before he dies he tells uh... the sidekick of the henchman of the

[27:19] villain who is also about to die

[27:21] like he just goes

[27:22] bitch and then explodes and later on they're getting at molly and cena

[27:27] getting out of the helicopter and leaving karketti behind and molly goes

[27:30] land it yourself

[27:32] bitch

[27:34] it seems so gratuitous to have two people call a villain bitch

[27:37] what but also a coincidence

[27:39] maybe not

[27:41] i don't know new orleans culture maybe that's just a common thing

[27:45] but for a movie that's goodbye if you really want to shine somebody on you're like

[27:49] bitch and then kill them

[27:51] before movie that's so like concerned with uh... action movie like tropes

[27:55] though like

[27:55] they give john cena like the most boring end of the movie

[27:59] thing with it wasn't just like

[28:01] you lose

[28:03] yet he doesn't he says fuck you at one point in the latest as you lose the

[28:06] apia it wasn't even like

[28:08] knockout

[28:09] you know kato you're ready to take on the champ

[28:13] but anymore but it was a uh...

[28:17] sweet science uh... square circle that's what i can do this

[28:22] throw in the towel yeah that's pretty good

[28:25] cut my i'm a key

[28:26] yet because most of the after you know i think that i don't think that will

[28:30] result by those uh... after he got shocked by those panels he basically

[28:33] just

[28:34] punch the bad guy bunch of times

[28:36] and then the bad guy just sat there

[28:37] yeah usually does he was pushing a really hard and this is a tiny guy he's

[28:41] a

[28:43] this is a clearly a professional so that this was not a movie that man would be

[28:47] dead

[28:48] with his budgets

[28:50] his neck with snappy disfigured at the very least ladies here it's likes the

[28:53] sandman is here with the giant battering arm and

[28:56] and

[28:58] uh... or a ham or ham battering arm ham

[29:02] that would be the least tasty ham tastes like sands yeah we did is it like a

[29:06] battering rammer detournees and it would join and they'll be a good to get to

[29:11] uh... why couldn't he have been metamorphic that's what i wonder yeah

[29:14] so uh... so the ending

[29:17] satisfying dan what do you think the ending of twelve rounds only is he is

[29:20] something i want to mention is that

[29:22] he's a world he's a wwe star the movie produced by the wwe

[29:27] why do they keep using boxing metaphors

[29:29] why are you not using wrestling metaphors twelve rounds could easily be

[29:33] a wrestling match

[29:35] i don't know if they don't do it in rounds

[29:38] they just they hit each other with chairs and stuff

[29:42] that's how it works

[29:43] and they staple gun five dollar bills to their foreheads and sometimes they have

[29:47] heart attacks when they jump off a top turnbuckle

[29:51] sometimes

[29:52] it's sad

[29:54] and marissa tomei marissa tomei was ready to change his life

[29:58] marissa tomei

[30:00] but i think that's what i think a it's risa tommy

[30:03] like to make a

[30:05] i don't know

[30:06] well anyway you're saying the end of the movie

[30:08] yeah i was really just wondering if if you guys feel that the union the big

[30:12] thing about that like a real judge of an action movie like

[30:15] the original called and and movie a steven seagal movie at the top of the

[30:19] line yet

[30:20] the real the real uh... clinton's like al yet because sago

[30:25] here's a collection for the uh... steven seagal is that like you really want an

[30:30] awesome ending like an ending that yeah

[30:32] sums up the entire experience

[30:34] whether it's a human experience the movie experience who knows that's i

[30:37] felt when i was just thinking the other day actually out of nowhere the ending

[30:40] to like casino royale

[30:42] which felt like a like such a perfect any name

[30:45] because you see him

[30:46] that the villain drives up to his house and then he shoots him in the leg and

[30:49] then

[30:50] he says you know bond james bond and you get the music for the first time like

[30:54] that kind of ending where like it's real quick and there's a hit

[30:57] and then the music comes up you like law

[31:00] well you know you got me actually

[31:02] uh...

[31:03] with what it ends when you're made

[31:06] like that

[31:06] that's more like in the end of universal soldier where john claude van damme runs

[31:10] uh... runs dulled longer through the the threshing machine in

[31:14] bloody chunks from shooting out

[31:16] yet

[31:17] like that kind of an ending and i think it happens in the rain

[31:21] so you're saying that's the A plus action movie or like the ending of tango and cash where they high five and that's the picture on the newspaper that says they're back

[31:29] wait who was the photographer there who took that photo?

[31:32] somebody took that picture and that's very bad they're just saying they're back

[31:37] tango and cash are the most famous cops in america

[31:40] people recognize their faces you're forgetting there's a newspaper earlier in the movie

[31:44] that shows ray tango and says tango gets em and then it shows a picture below the

[31:47] fold of cash and it says like

[31:49] cash gets em i love that movie so much

[31:52] it's obvious from the contents of your refrigerator you haven't been watching your figure

[31:57] probably been keeping your eyes too close on the evidence you used to set us up

[32:01] oh i love that movie

[32:02] uh... but tango

[32:05] you think there's a deleted scene where like tango and cash like when they picked up a newspaper

[32:10] photographer and they're like

[32:11] we're gonna storm jack palance's compound tonight

[32:14] we want you to be there now this is after the this isn't a picture isn't taken during

[32:18] that

[32:19] maybe it is taken right after this it's taken right after yeah it blows up or whatever

[32:24] they don't get into how they clear their names yeah they blow up all the evidence

[32:28] yeah it's the lethal weapon 2 school of thought there

[32:32] where you're like oh these damn boers with all their money laundering these afrikaners

[32:37] let's just blow the shit out of them all the money the central problem of the whole movie

[32:41] has been that they have uh... they have diplomatic immunity and in the end they're just like

[32:46] let's just shoot them and blow up all the money is that the way he says revoked yeah

[32:50] i have diplomatic immunity the other thing is diplomatic immunity doesn't

[32:56] extend to major crimes that's what movies never seem to get it's like i'll have you see exhibit a

[33:03] lethal weapon 2

[33:05] like you can get away with not getting parking tickets but if you murder people or steal

[33:09] things then you will be brought up on charges like

[33:12] if you have guys running around with uzi's through the streets of LA

[33:17] in the second spider-man superman team up doctor doom is the villain and he's at the

[33:22] latverian embassy in america and he's been trying to kill superman for a long time and

[33:26] superman shows up and doctor doom goes uh... don't you follow the rules of your adopted

[33:33] country i have diplomatic immunity and walks away and superman's like damn he's got me

[33:38] like there's really no reason that superman has to follow these rules

[33:41] just like in lethal weapon they get around to them

[33:45] but to get back to the end of twelve rounds

[33:48] are we talking about twelve rounds?

[33:51] uh... i don't even remember what the actual end was because we watched the two alternate

[33:55] endings which are so tremendously different

[33:57] the alternate endings literally had one line different in each one

[34:00] but wasn't like the original ending just them being like there's this couple

[34:05] you know like in a hot tub on the roof

[34:08] and they're like what happened?

[34:10] he's like oh it fell out of a helicopter

[34:12] and they walk out and he's like

[34:14] oh he just jumped out of a helicopter

[34:16] helicopter blew up

[34:18] no big deal

[34:20] although when he says it it sounds like he says moby dick

[34:22] it did sound exactly like that

[34:24] did he say something like

[34:26] like hold his girlfriend close and be like

[34:28] next time i'm driving you to work

[34:30] he does say that yeah

[34:32] maybe i just said that

[34:34] no no he does say that

[34:37] oh

[34:39] and then there's the line about

[34:41] about the house

[34:43] about the dead plumber

[34:45] about the house there's a charred corpse in it

[34:47] the two alternate endings

[34:49] one was there was a

[34:51] there's a security guard on the roof

[34:53] and he goes there's money fluttering

[34:55] and he goes what happened?

[34:57] and the guy says he jumped out of a helicopter

[34:59] no big deal

[35:01] he goes where did all this money come from?

[35:03] he goes like congratulations kid you just won the lotto

[35:06] incredibly irresponsible

[35:08] for a civil servant

[35:10] that guy runs the town he can do what he wants

[35:12] and the other alternate ending was

[35:14] the same hot tub couple

[35:16] they go what happened?

[35:18] and he goes oh he jumped out of a helicopter

[35:20] no big deal

[35:22] and the guy of the hot tub goes

[35:24] we just got engaged

[35:26] and john santa goes

[35:28] word of advice

[35:30] and turns to molly

[35:32] keep her close

[35:34] so this hot tub couple was like

[35:36] yeah enough about your boring

[35:38] fell out of a helicopter story by the way we just got engaged

[35:40] you jumped out of a helicopter

[35:42] great congratulations

[35:44] and it is in order we got engaged

[35:46] hello

[35:48] speaking of someone who got engaged

[35:50] about nine days ago

[35:52] thank you sorry ladies

[35:54] I'm taken for now

[35:56] and forever

[35:58] that is a pretty

[36:00] not classy way to

[36:02] pop the question in a hot tub

[36:04] I hate to say it on a roof

[36:06] you didn't pop the question

[36:08] look it's really romantic

[36:10] you're on a roof

[36:12] you're on a roof

[36:14] you're in a hot tub

[36:16] helicopters are exploding

[36:18] all around you

[36:20] you're wearing some jams

[36:22] money is floating down from the sky

[36:24] that is

[36:26] that augers well for your romance

[36:28] your life together

[36:30] that's a good luck sign

[36:32] a treasure bath

[36:34] yeah

[36:36] history of the world part one would say that that's good luck

[36:38] but the

[36:40] maybe they got engaged earlier

[36:42] maybe they got

[36:44] maybe they got engaged earlier in the day

[36:46] in which case that's pretty

[36:48] come on you give it a rest for a couple

[36:50] hours not everyone needs to know that you got engaged

[36:52] yeah but I mean

[36:54] usually if you get engaged your first choice

[36:56] is to go to a rooftop hot tub

[36:58] and then just party right

[37:00] again we didn't do that

[37:02] you guys went to separate bedrooms

[37:04] and watched tv

[37:06] we bundled

[37:08] we were each wrapped in blankets so tight we couldn't get out

[37:10] then we shared the bed together to see what that was like

[37:12] but still remained chaste

[37:14] sure of course

[37:16] it's very common in our religion

[37:18] that's what happens when you get engaged at Colonial Williamsburg

[37:20] so

[37:22] oh that would have been such a good idea I should have done that

[37:24] like we walk into the blacksmith's shop

[37:26] and he's banging something on the anvil

[37:28] and it's like oh what's that you got there

[37:30] ah something for a lucky bride

[37:32] Danielle

[37:34] and then he hands it to her and she turns

[37:36] and I'm on my knee and I go like

[37:38] prithee yon maiden

[37:40] and then she marries the blacksmith

[37:42] it's the one flaw in my plan

[37:44] sounds like somebody on

[37:46] Brom Bones did that

[37:48] she marries Brom Bones

[37:50] damn Brom Bones

[37:52] scaring me away in his headless horseman costume

[37:54] so

[37:56] I think we should

[37:58] render our final judgements on this movie

[38:00] because we've been talking for a little while

[38:02] final judgements

[38:04] yeah final judgements

[38:06] what are the categories Daniel

[38:08] they are

[38:10] not Danielle

[38:12] this is not my fiancee Danielle

[38:14] this is Dan McCoy host of the Flophouse

[38:16] famous host of the Flophouse

[38:18] infamous host of the Flophouse

[38:20] let's compromise

[38:22] it's a good bad movie

[38:24] a bad bad movie

[38:26] or a movie that you actually

[38:28] sort of liked

[38:30] so Stuart I'm going to go to you

[38:32] I'm going to go good bad movie

[38:34] it did

[38:36] totally feel like somebody had just

[38:38] watched a bunch of other action movies and they're like

[38:40] we can do this this is easy

[38:42] and then they decide to pick a

[38:44] WWE star to be in the lead

[38:46] and then

[38:48] they didn't pick Kane

[38:50] the Undertaker couldn't do this part

[38:52] like what's the problem

[38:54] Macho Man Randy Savage is a little long in the tooth

[38:56] Hollywood Hulk Hogan was not available

[38:58] but

[39:00] I guess he's back to being Hulk Hogan now

[39:02] he's not Hollywood Hogan anymore

[39:04] I think he just goes by Terry now

[39:06] Terry Hogan

[39:08] so

[39:10] I'm going to say

[39:12] I think it's a good bad movie

[39:14] I didn't actually like it that much

[39:16] but it was fun to watch

[39:18] I feel like it's somewhere between

[39:20] a good bad movie

[39:22] and a movie I actually sort of enjoyed

[39:24] because

[39:26] it's a dumb

[39:28] action movie

[39:30] it's really dumb

[39:32] dumb as a brick

[39:34] stupid as a bag of hammers

[39:36] but it's dumb largely in an entertaining way

[39:38] and

[39:40] it is bad

[39:42] I don't want you to misunderstand me

[39:44] it's a bad movie but it's not bad

[39:46] in a way where I'm like

[39:48] this is hilariously inept

[39:50] it's just bad in that it is again

[39:52] dumb

[39:54] rock stupid

[39:56] but I enjoyed it

[39:58] and I think it has a good intersection

[40:00] of being trashy and not having a brain in its head.

[40:06] So I'm going to go somewhere in between Good, Bad and a movie that I actually enjoyed.

[40:12] I'm going to go with you on that.

[40:14] I did enjoy the fact that it never stopped moving pretty much,

[40:19] except for a few moments when John Cena would literally stand there and look at things.

[40:24] And grimace.

[40:25] Lots of flashes in slow motion as he just stared at people

[40:30] He would remember flashbacks of his girlfriend

[40:33] and it would just be shots of his girlfriend holding their dog.

[40:36] It wouldn't be like them doing something together and being like,

[40:39] Oh, I remember when we did that together. I love her so much.

[40:42] It's just like, Oh, that's my girlfriend.

[40:44] My favorite thing was when he found pictures of his girlfriend tied up in the hotel room

[40:50] and then he had flashes of what it probably looked like to have her lying there all tied up.

[40:54] Yeah, he just imagined it. He couldn't remember it.

[40:56] There's no way he could remember that because he wasn't there.

[40:58] Yeah, he's not like a spirit walker or something.

[41:01] If only.

[41:02] Yeah.

[41:03] But yeah, it was like with the movie, for the most part, never stopped moving.

[41:06] It was endearingly stupid for the most part.

[41:09] It did not ask you to believe that John Cena was very bright,

[41:12] just that he could think his way through very simple puzzles that didn't really make sense.

[41:17] A lot of the times he was in these cat and mouse games where the rules were stacked

[41:21] and they didn't follow any logic and they didn't even try to make them into puzzles.

[41:27] Really, it was more like get to this place on time and then fucking do stuff.

[41:32] I don't care. Whatever, man. Just do shit.

[41:34] And everyone played their parts to the tilt.

[41:39] They were all yelling at each other all the time.

[41:41] Yeah.

[41:42] And it was just stupid, fun stuff, but so stupid, just stupid, stupid, rock stupid.

[41:49] Rock stupid.

[41:50] I have a lot of affection for any kind of an action movie where you're master criminal.

[41:54] The entire movie, the hero is repeatedly put in situations where you're like,

[41:59] oh no, if he fucks this up just a little bit, he's going to get exploded.

[42:03] And then at the end you find out that every little nuance of this entire story,

[42:08] the master criminal has planned out.

[42:11] And then at the very end he's like, you know what?

[42:13] I'm going to stake my entire getaway plan on this hostage to fly me away.

[42:18] At this point she has nothing to lose. We're in a helicopter.

[42:21] I can't threaten her with a fucking gun because she can just say, oh, you shoot me?

[42:24] Now we'll fucking crash and you're dead, dumbass.

[42:26] Yeah.

[42:27] Yeah, I can't believe actually we didn't even address this is that, yes,

[42:31] the whole thing turned out to be Miles Johnson or whatever like trying.

[42:37] Miles Jackson.

[42:38] Jack Travis.

[42:40] Mark Trail.

[42:41] Jack Markson.

[42:43] Jack Johnson.

[42:44] His scheme, as we said, was really just a distraction for his money making scheme.

[42:51] And so Johnson.

[42:53] Thousands of tiny ads in newspapers all across the country.

[42:56] John Cena was a pawn this whole time.

[42:59] So all the times where he put John Cena in physical danger early in the film don't make any sense

[43:07] because if John Cena didn't turn out to be this super cop, he would have died.

[43:12] And also the plan would have been foiled by his death.

[43:15] And also this master criminal.

[43:17] Apparently, like, even though he just escaped from prison,

[43:21] had time to run around town and set up all these elaborate snipers.

[43:26] Yeah.

[43:27] Oh, God.

[43:28] And what's great.

[43:29] And what's great about.

[43:30] Well, and what I would have liked to have seen is this moment of realization in our hero's face.

[43:33] Like, you know what?

[43:34] You were not going to see any emotions in the hero's face.

[43:37] You're going to see gritted teeth or dumbstruck idiot.

[43:40] I would have liked to see this moment of realization where he's like, you know what?

[43:43] This guy, he's a criminal, but he had this all planned out.

[43:47] Like, at no point was I genuinely in any real danger or my girlfriend.

[43:52] And then he, you know, instead of beating the guy to death or whatever.

[43:57] Oh, he took him to dinner?

[43:58] Yeah, like, you know, well, he put him in cuffs or something and then took him to jail.

[44:03] Yeah, had a little respect.

[44:05] Yeah, instead of, you know, just killing the criminal and scattering all the evidence of his wrongdoings.

[44:10] Again, like, he's killed him and all this money was being taken out of circulation anyway.

[44:14] So it's not like it was going anywhere it needed to go.

[44:16] But, like, yeah, all the money he stole was just fluttering down to the streets of New Orleans.

[44:21] The helicopter has exploded, and it's not like it was vaporized.

[44:24] There's big fucking chunks of helicopter falling on the streets of New Orleans.

[44:28] And he's like, oh, it's all over, baby.

[44:31] Like, I hope he at least, his partner is dead.

[44:33] I hope he at least has to fill out some paperwork.

[44:35] There was a shot of, like, a gurney falling out of the helicopter.

[44:38] And I wanted an insert of, like, that gurney hitting someone on the street below.

[44:43] Like, oh, my God, the horror, the destruction caused by John Sanders.

[44:48] He's wrecked no less than 40 cars in the course of the film and motorcycles.

[44:53] Once you hit that point, you don't have to do paperwork anymore.

[44:57] Yeah, they fire you.

[44:59] Yeah, it's police procedure.

[45:01] Any time it's police procedure, if you're a detective and a master criminal has captured your girlfriend,

[45:07] you do not have to contact anybody.

[45:09] That's the other thing.

[45:10] This whole thing is caused because a year ago, when he first stopped and caught Mick Jorgen,

[45:15] he, like, instead of calling for backup.

[45:19] The famous Swedish master criminal.

[45:21] Mar Jolglen.

[45:23] Instead of calling for backup and telling them, I think I found this guy,

[45:26] he just starts shooting at the car and then running after it on foot.

[45:30] Like, and he says at one point, like, to his partner, he's like, if I'd called for backup,

[45:34] maybe none of this would have happened.

[45:36] Maybe this girl wouldn't have died.

[45:38] Maybe that girl wouldn't have died.

[45:39] He's like, yeah, you're exactly right.

[45:40] Most likely she wouldn't have died.

[45:42] John Sanders is now two for two for dumb action movies.

[45:44] This is the Marine.

[45:46] Yeah, I mean, that's pretty good, though.

[45:48] Like, that's a pretty good record.

[45:50] Yeah.

[45:51] That's Steven Sagal.

[45:53] I don't know if he could say the same thing.

[45:55] Steven Squagle.

[45:57] It's a square bagel.

[46:01] So we don't have any mail this week.

[46:05] Boo!

[46:06] Whose fault is that, Dan?

[46:08] The listeners.

[46:10] Okay, I'll accept that answer.

[46:12] It sounded like you were going to accuse me for a second there.

[46:15] It's my mom's fault for not sending us any emails.

[46:18] Wait a minute.

[46:19] It's all those letters about what a sexy voice you have.

[46:22] I know.

[46:24] I'm going to take this time to do a little housecleaning, a little business.

[46:29] If you want to write us, you can do that at theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[46:36] You do want to write us.

[46:37] What's that email address again?

[46:38] Theflophousepodcast, all one word, at gmail.com.

[46:42] Theflophousepodcast, all one word, at gmail.com.

[46:46] No, don't spell out all one word because that's not part of it.

[46:49] Do you spell it differently in the email address?

[46:51] Jesus Christ.

[46:52] Also, you can go to us on the web at theflophousepodcast.blogspot.com.

[46:59] There's other stuff on the website.

[47:03] We want a wieldy, right?

[47:05] What?

[47:06] We want a wieldy for most unwieldy URL and email address.

[47:10] Coveted wieldy.

[47:11] We want emails.

[47:13] We want email pictures.

[47:15] Pictures, videos.

[47:17] Cakes with files baked in them.

[47:19] In case we want to escape from Dan's apartment.

[47:22] We should start a contest at some point, I think.

[47:25] Oh, yes.

[47:26] Ellie, you wanted to restart the Flop with the Floppers contest.

[47:29] Yeah, because the winner of the Flop with the Floppers contest moved out of town and didn't get to collect her prize,

[47:34] a night with Stuart Wellington and the rest of us watching a movie.

[47:40] So we should restart that contest.

[47:43] Well, the contest was always sort of vague, so maybe we should –

[47:46] Let's pretty much just do something that was Flophouse-related.

[47:49] Do something that we think is cool that's Flophouse-related.

[47:52] Help get our listeners out.

[47:54] Impress us.

[47:55] Get out the word.

[47:56] Send us evidence of you doing this, and maybe you can win a U-expenses-paid trip to watch a movie with us.

[48:07] We'll provide some of the expenses.

[48:08] I will provide the Popeye's brand fried chicken.

[48:10] I'll buy some beer.

[48:11] I'll probably be wearing a small swimsuit the whole time.

[48:14] As he is right now.

[48:15] He's wearing a tiny swimsuit.

[48:17] Yet again, this is the second podcast we have recorded where Stuart has taken his pants off to reveal an alarmingly small swimsuit.

[48:25] Not just to reveal.

[48:26] To remain in.

[48:28] Watch the entire movie in and then do the entire podcast recording in.

[48:33] But, I mean, don't get me wrong, guys.

[48:36] I am wearing socks and shoes at the same time.

[48:41] All right.

[48:42] So there's that.

[48:44] There's something very Tom of Finland about it, yeah.

[48:47] By the time that this podcast goes out, they will not be able to see The Devil and Daniel Webster.

[48:53] No.

[48:54] That will have passed.

[48:55] Because that's on this Wednesday, the 15th.

[48:57] But you will be doing more 92Y screenings starting in September.

[49:02] Starting in September.

[49:03] In September, we'll be showing Love Me Tonight, which is a great movie.

[49:06] It's one of the silliest movies in the world.

[49:08] A 30s musical that's really silly but a lot of fun.

[49:11] And in October, we're supposed to be showing The Old Dark House.

[49:16] I think we have the print order for that, which is a very crazy old movie.

[49:22] It's the movie James Whale made between Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein.

[49:25] And it is about a bunch of nuts living in an old dark house, and they are spooky.

[49:29] That sounds good.

[49:32] And there will be one more Mr. White Pants sketch show after this podcast goes out on July 24th, I believe.

[49:42] That's a Friday.

[49:43] Friday the 24th at the Magnet Theater.

[49:45] And I'll put a link up on the site.

[49:49] A Flophouse fan came out to the last show and said hi.

[49:54] Flophouse fans are very friendly.

[49:56] I was a guest on Comic Book Club.

[50:00] hit and there was a Flophouse fan. I believe this is the same gentleman.

[50:03] It might be. He's a very nice guy. That's awesome. I want to plug something.

[50:07] Yeah. Okay. I have – wait, no. I'm not plugging

[50:10] like a weird question this time. Or the fact that you bought blue jeans.

[50:14] Or my new blue jeans. What I want to plug is one of a long-time Flophouse fan, a movie

[50:22] aficionado and a rock and roller, a friend of mine, Alexander Smith, Alexander Delicious

[50:28] Smith. He's been working on a record and you should go check it out on MySpace. If

[50:35] you like music, check it out. His little band is called Lydia Burrell. L-Y-D-I-A. Burrell

[50:43] is B-U-R-R-E-L-L. Check it out. Awesome stuff. He's a very funny gentleman as well. He wrote,

[50:52] if you look up – I believe his website is Sounds Delicious. He wrote a very funny review

[50:57] of the movie Wanted, which I enjoyed a lot. Yeah. At least something good came out of

[51:02] the movie Wanted. All right. So now that we've done our round

[51:05] of plugs, I think we're going to move on to less boring things, which should be I think

[51:12] recommending some movies, proving that we're not miserable bastards.

[51:15] Because we've got to get out of here. Sure. Okay. I'll go first. I'm going to recommend

[51:20] a movie directed by Rennie Harland called – Harland?

[51:25] Like Harland Wilson? Yeah. Or Harland Ellison.

[51:30] Harland Ellison. Yeah. It's not even his name. It's a little movie directed by Rennie Harland.

[51:37] Again. It's called Mind Hunters. I've probably recommended this before.

[51:43] You mentioned it earlier in the podcast. The thing that's great about this movie is,

[51:46] well, this is a movie that was advertised and then it was pushed back and it was advertised

[51:53] and pushed back and eventually it had a direct-to-video release. It's about a group of FBI trainees

[52:00] who are being trained to hunt down serial killers. So they have to get into the mind

[52:04] of a killer. They get put on this weird island and surprise, surprise, one of their number

[52:10] turns out to be a serial killer. This has Val Kilmer.

[52:15] Val Kilmer is great in it. Christian Slater. Is Lowell Coolidge in it?

[52:19] Yes. The aforementioned Ladies Love Cool James is in it.

[52:22] Absolutely. Johnny Lee Miller. Wow. Is he Plunkett or McClane?

[52:27] I think he's both of them in this movie. That's what he plays in every movie apparently.

[52:36] You can make a movie about punk highway men. If you want to see a bad movie that is totally

[52:44] fun and it's about serial killer hunting students, it's awesome. Good movie.

[52:52] At one point, Christian Slater gets his body frozen and dies and then he gets shattered.

[52:58] Spoiler alert. I'm going to recommend the movie. I actually

[53:03] picked this up on DVD cheap recently. The movie Something Wild. It's a Jonathan Demme

[53:09] movie, along with Stop Making Sense, probably my favorite Jonathan Demme two movies. Before

[53:17] he made Silence of the Lambs, he made these great oddball comedies. That movie, it's one

[53:28] of the really good gear shift, shift in tone movies.

[53:34] It starts out as a screwball comedy and then it gets really tense. It's like a tense thriller

[53:45] as soon as Ray Liotta shows up. Spoiler alert.

[53:49] It's a beautifully shot movie. It's got a lot of great music in it. At one point, they

[53:55] go to this reunion and the Feelys are the band that's playing the reunion live. It's

[54:02] just really fun. That's what I recommend. I'm going to recommend not a movie, but a

[54:07] book about a movie. What?

[54:09] Hello, Outside of the Box, like Sarah Palin. It sounds crazy, but it's just because I'm

[54:14] ... Is that a euphemism?

[54:15] No, it's not a euphemism. I recently read the book The Devil's Candy by Julie Salomon,

[54:22] I believe her name is. It's a book about Salomon.

[54:24] Is it about saltwater taffy? Is that The Devil's Candy?

[54:27] It is The Devil's Candy. It tastes terrible. I guess Candy Corn would be The Devil's Candy

[54:32] then. Devil's Candy is a book about the making of the film version of Bonfire of the Vanities.

[54:38] Famously, not a very good movie. Huge flop when it came out. It is a really good, very

[54:46] thorough look at the making of this film in which a ton of very talented people working

[54:52] as hard as they can-

[54:53] You're talking about Melanie Griffiths?

[54:55] It's Melanie Griffiths. A ton of very talented people working as hard as they can made a

[55:01] really shitty film. It's not the worst movie in the world, but it's pretty bad. She talks

[55:08] about so many things on a movie set that you don't usually read about. She talks about

[55:13] the experience that Bruce Willis' body double, who stands in for him during lighting tests,

[55:18] what he goes through, things like that, what all the location guys were going through.

[55:23] Every facet of making a movie that big, at the time, it cost about $40-some-odd million,

[55:28] which was huge. It was like 1990. It's just really good. You know in the back of your

[55:35] mind that this movie is going to be shit. Every time, they're like, it's a lot of work,

[55:39] but it's all going to be up on film. This is going to be a great movie. You're like,

[55:43] oh, you poor deluded people. This is terrible. You see them every step of the way working

[55:48] as hard as they can and making the kind of compromises that will not help the film at

[55:52] all, but will hurt it. It's a really good book.

[55:54] By the way, I don't know why I singled out and made fun of Melanie Griffith's thing.

[55:57] I just recommended something wild.

[55:59] One of the movies that made her.

[56:00] I'm sorry, Melanie Griffith. You've done good work.

[56:05] Diehard Flophouse listener, Melanie Griffith is not going to be happy. You're going to

[56:10] get an angry letter from Antonio Manderas, sir, as well as a signed copy of his directorial

[56:17] debut, Crazy in Alabama, starring his wife, Melanie Griffith.

[56:24] He's going to come by. He's going to beat me up, and yet I'm going to feel strangely

[56:28] grateful to him because he's such a man.

[56:32] A man whose greatest success lately has been voicing a cartoon cat.

[56:36] All right. So guys, Flophouse, eh? It's a podcast that we do.

[56:43] The love is, you've done how many of these? Forty now?

[56:47] I still can't find any way to gracefully end them.

[56:51] Nope. Impossible.

[56:53] So we're done, right?

[56:54] Yeah.

[56:54] Okay.

[56:55] Say your name.

[56:56] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[56:57] I'm Dan McCoy.

[56:58] I will always be Elliot Kalin.

[57:00] Good night, everyone.

[57:02] Bye.

[57:03] Take your, put your pants back on.

[57:14] Manual in space.

[57:15] Because you're actually talking.

[57:17] Manual vs the vampires.

[57:18] Manual in Rio. That's a terrible movie, Manual vs the Vampires. Not sexy even at all.

[57:22] I have never even seen it.

[57:23] Oh well, oh I think it's Manual vs Dracula is what it's called.

[57:26] I kind of want to see Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl, but-

[57:30] I don't know that one.

[57:31] That's a Japanese movie.

[57:32] Ah. I should have known.

[57:33] It's by the guy who made Robo Geisha.

The Flop House_ Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

Transcript

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