The Flop House: Episode #103 - One For the Money

[0:00] In this episode we discuss Katherine Heigl's most honestly named film one for the money and

[0:06] Before we start a reminder for New York area fans

[0:10] Come see our screening of quiet cool with live commentary this coming Friday, June 8th at 92 y Tribeca

[0:17] more details on the website

[0:19] www.flophousepodcast.com

[0:30] Hey

[0:48] Everyone and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And who's this over here with you guys? It's Ellie Kalin

[0:56] Knock knock who's there? Thank God. Yeah. How did you know?

[1:00] You're in the wire. Ellie Ellie with two tees, right? Yeah, you better believe it. Okay, if what happens if I do one tea

[1:08] You the other tea is your tombstone

[1:16] Man with the pizza shaped tea. Yeah, let me reset as they say in the radio business starting over. This is a

[1:23] Show

[1:25] Show that you listened to through your ear holes. So what do we do on this show Dan?

[1:30] So wait, people aren't watching us right now. No, so don't like a hundred of these videos

[1:35] Put your pants back on all of the hilarious visual gags. You're doing right now are lost to the sands of time

[1:42] I'll take off these wacky glasses. Mm-hmm. I like those

[1:46] This is a show where we watch a movie

[1:50] Probably a bad movie

[1:52] Discuss it and what's the name of this show? It's called the flop house podcast

[1:56] It's that's a pun on the idea of a flop and also the concept of a flop house

[2:02] Which is where my cowboys and shit would go. Well, I mean like

[2:09] The house for shit hangs out

[2:12] It's more like it's the old the old version of a crack house

[2:16] Well, that's not entirely accurate

[2:18] Legal right history house is more like a halfway house. Oh for for crack. Yes. No

[2:25] For old-timey crack going the other direction

[2:28] a

[2:29] Queue, yeah, yeah, and then II at the end. Yeah

[2:34] By the way, apologies if there's any ambient noise

[2:36] It's it's we're all on ambient right summer has come upon New York City very quickly

[2:42] It's a hot time summer in the city on the back of my neck. It's not gritty I'd say but

[2:49] But the windows are wide open it's raining I have not put the air conditioner in just to set the stage a little ambience

[2:56] And also I'm beyond I'm walking in the snow

[3:00] And there's a crackling fire crinkle crinkle

[3:06] There's a there's a there's a flop house house cat over there right get it

[3:10] Wow, that's hilarious

[3:16] It's a house cat, I mean specifically it's in the name. Yeah, it's not a wild

[3:20] The house cat though is a wild cat. Mm-hmm. So moving on we all we all just did some sound effects guys

[3:26] Yes, we warmed up. Yeah

[3:29] That's free. You gotta pay for it

[3:32] Actually to get that you may have you heard the sound effect of Stuart and Dan high-fiving

[3:36] It's actually the sound of a man punching a side of beef

[3:39] That's how they make that sound on the radio, that's some flop house Foley magic, yep, Dave Foley magic

[3:45] Mm-hmm. He's ever in the corner drinking sadly to himself and doing close-up magic drinks

[3:52] Was known all you need is a pack of cards and one coin entertained for hours, okay

[3:56] Well, we watched a movie tonight. What's amazing is he can entertain himself because he's so drunk. He forgets the tricks

[4:02] He doesn't know how they're done even as a man a man who was a great comedy hero of mine mine, too

[4:08] That's been destroyed now. Yeah. Well, I know it's destroyed. Which was just we shouldn't laugh

[4:12] He's like through gaslighting or something or yeah. Yeah, if someone wanted to steal his jewels Kevin Macdonald

[4:20] Wanted to steal Dave Foley's jewels

[4:22] So we watched a movie tonight. It was called one for the money

[4:26] with Katherine Heigl

[4:29] rate at all

[4:31] I

[4:36] Probably not pg-13. There was a scene where Katherine Heigl clutched her arm in front of her naked her naked side

[4:43] Mm-hmm side boob, but I think that's and boob. Okay, mark that down. Mr. Skin if you're listening at home, mr. Reginald skin

[4:52] You better believe it. Mr. Mr. Reginald skin D bought one for the money on blu-ray. Dr. Skin, please. That's dr. Skin

[4:59] I didn't go

[5:01] Six years to be called. Mr. Is a degree in skin, you know, you don't think mr. Skin got a screener for this

[5:07] I'm sure he did at this Academy

[5:11] Academy screen by the way, do you know that the reason that mr. Skin can operate is that technically he's a review site?

[5:18] That's why he can put up all that material that copyrighted material is because he's nominally a review site

[5:25] Quote-unquote review the movie while showing clips from his reviewing nudity. Yeah

[5:29] Yeah, but that's why he's not in trouble with copyright

[5:33] Listeners at home Elliot and I have completely non-shocked expressions. No way. I think that's an interesting fact. I think that's an interesting

[5:42] Well, it's related in that that's probably the same reason I can put posters up on a flophouse site without getting cuz we're

[5:49] Nominally a review site. Yeah, actually a boob

[5:51] Yeah, we're just people just sound effects

[6:02] Misty on the moors. We're on a night like this on the docks on the moors

[6:14] You bagged yourself a wolf betrothed

[6:17] A seabird that's also a wolf. Did we paint an ear picture for you guys?

[6:23] So one for the money starting Catherine Heigl a huge cast Fisher Stevens John Leguizamo don't get attached to Fisher Stevens

[6:32] Jason Mara of the failed

[6:35] Television shows Terra Nova and life on Mars. Yeah, I think and related to a Rooney Mara, right? I hope so

[6:41] David right in

[6:44] Right in Reynolds now this Debbie Reynolds. Oh, how could I forget the biggest star in the movie?

[6:50] This movie is based on the first of these Stephanie the guy who played Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men. Yeah

[6:56] Based on the first of the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Ivanovich

[7:00] This series is a particular favorite of my mother or was for a while. There's 23 of them now

[7:05] Yeah, I think my mom got tired around 16 or 18

[7:08] Yeah, well that reminds me of like the Sue Grafton mysteries where she set out, you know, like the alphabet

[7:16] Mystery novels, it's like, okay. Well, there's gonna be 26 of these. I

[7:20] Am going to check out around in maybe sure. Yeah, when she got lazy after a while, I think V was for the letter V

[7:28] Debbie was X was for xylophone, which is weird W is for whatever something mystery related by Sue Grafton

[7:35] You

[7:37] Make up the rest, but this is a series about

[7:41] Stephanie Plum who is a young woman down on her luck. She doesn't have a job. She's in danger of losing her part

[7:46] I don't understand how she'd be so down on her luck when she owns the patent to plums. That's the weird thing moving along

[7:53] Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your right, you'll see a stupid joke moving along

[7:57] So wait, our character is Stephanie Plum. Is that she we we learn that she is divorced

[8:04] She's divorced. Is that last daughter from their plum?

[8:07] Is that last name her is that her original last name or is that if we didn't need to do the tech Dan?

[8:14] That last name from her ex-husband, I don't remember I'm only wondering because she has this large

[8:20] Very boisterous very loud vocal. You're saying Italian Italian family. Yes, it's New Jersey

[8:26] Doesn't sound unless maybe was Plum Alino before they came Ellis Island or as it was known before it came to Ellis Island Ellis Island

[8:33] Okay

[8:37] Okay, so wait, we're just gonna come up with

[8:42] Well, I already see I like that one, uh, I don't know I don't remember so let's go on

[8:49] She's are you you read this book?

[8:51] I read this book years ago because my mom was a big fan of it and she was like you should read this you'd enjoy

[8:55] It was there a sexy babe on the cover

[8:58] No, this this is one of those series where the title is just in big letters on the cover

[9:03] So just as Janet Ivanovich won for the money. There's no illustration now. I'm sure on the book

[9:07] There's probably a lot of issues a selling point in that. Yes scenario. Yes, just like

[9:14] Numbers holding a pair of handcuffs over her butt. Yeah, like in the poster

[9:20] She's gonna handcuff her butt. I guess. Mm-hmm. That's seems like about two cuffs to butt cheeks. That's how it works out

[9:27] Okay

[9:30] So she's a down-on-her-luck woman she's divorced plum material you want to hear that she's out of work

[9:35] She's about to lose her apartment and her car gets towed

[9:38] She's got this boisterous family that trying to set her up with a schlubby guy

[9:41] Who's not a bad guy and she's got a crazy wacky grandma played by Hollywood legend Debbie Reynolds

[9:46] You may remember from the best Hollywood musical ever singing in the rain

[9:50] I mean she hands it up a little bit in this she hands it up a lot

[9:53] This is a movie where and I think the director was frightened to tell her to tone it down

[9:58] Well, yes, she had a loaded gun in one scene

[10:00] There's one dinner scene where Debbie Reynolds' character is just waving a loaded gun around

[10:04] that she's found in Katherine Heigl's bag.

[10:06] People seem very unconcerned.

[10:08] They're like, put it down, Ma.

[10:11] Come on, Ma, put it down.

[10:12] But they're not frightened, as they should be, because she shoots a turkey and meat goes

[10:15] everywhere, which leads to the one good line in the whole movie, which is, I guess there's

[10:19] more than one, there's a couple good lines, but the best line, which is the guy they're

[10:23] trying to set her up with, turkey flies everywhere all over him, and he's wiping his glasses

[10:27] off and he goes, it's like fireworks, made of meat.

[10:32] Great line.

[10:33] There you go.

[10:34] But anyway.

[10:35] Money in the bank.

[10:36] So you guys probably, we should probably pause for a minute for our listeners to totally

[10:39] crack up, because that was hilarious.

[10:41] Yeah, anyway.

[10:42] To sew their sides back together, because they have split.

[10:44] They're going to want to ice their knees after they slap them so much.

[10:49] Adjust their wigs, because they've just been flipped off, oh wait, no, that's surprise.

[10:55] Just gather up their socks, because they have been knocked off.

[11:01] And so she decides she's going to go into business with her cousin Vinnie, who is a

[11:05] bail bondsman.

[11:06] And the line, my cousin Vinnie, is actually said at one point.

[11:09] But it's not Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinnie, it's actually-

[11:12] So cool down.

[11:13] Who plays him?

[11:14] It's the guy who plays Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men, and he was in Lost, I think.

[11:17] Irritating comedian Jimmy Barrett from Mad Men.

[11:19] You may remember him as the Utz Nutz guy, whose wife Bobby, Don Draper, attacked the

[11:25] vagina of with his hands in a restaurant.

[11:28] Attacked the vagina of?

[11:29] Yeah.

[11:30] Like the vagina was coming towards him?

[11:31] Well, he had to threaten her.

[11:32] He like grabbed her vagina really hard.

[11:34] Oh, really?

[11:35] You remember that episode?

[11:36] Oh, but she was, I mean, they were in a carnal relationship, the two of them.

[11:39] Yeah, but he did it, it wasn't out of lust.

[11:41] That was to-

[11:42] I know, but attacked the vagina.

[11:43] It sounds like he's like got some nunchucks or something, and he's just whacking at it.

[11:48] Go on, Dan.

[11:49] Oh, I don't-

[11:50] Keep going.

[11:51] Keep talking about nunchucks.

[11:52] No, no, no.

[11:53] You shouldn't be interested in-

[11:54] Oh, Stuart's turned on by the nunchucks part of this equation.

[11:56] Now, I'm Michelangelo, the Ninja Turtle.

[11:58] No, I don't-

[11:59] I'm not writing erotic fanfic for you.

[12:03] You should write erotic Ninja Turtle, Mad Men crossover fanfic between Bobby Barrett

[12:08] and Michelangelo.

[12:09] I finally found my niche.

[12:12] So she decides to become a bounty hunter for her cousin, the bail bondsman.

[12:17] This is taken by everyone.

[12:19] Everyone is like-

[12:20] Takes the first 10 minutes of the movie.

[12:21] The first 10 minutes of the movie, but also she just eases into this job of bounty hunter,

[12:24] and when she tells people, they're like, a bounty hunter?

[12:27] In the same way as if I told people I'm going to try to become a model.

[12:32] People would be like, a model?

[12:33] They'd be kind of-

[12:34] I mean, you know, I'd be down with it.

[12:35] I think you could do it.

[12:36] But if I told people I'm going to be a bounty hunter, they'd be like, what are you talking

[12:40] about?

[12:41] You're going to be killed.

[12:42] You don't have a ponytail.

[12:43] Your karate chops aren't strong enough.

[12:47] You're not sassy.

[12:48] You don't wear cleavage-bearing tops.

[12:49] You don't have a dog.

[12:50] You don't have the name dog.

[12:52] Sure.

[12:53] No, it's right.

[12:55] She basically walks into the bail bondsman office and says, oh, I'm here for the filing

[13:00] job.

[13:01] And they're like, oh, yeah, that doesn't exist anymore.

[13:02] And she's like, uh, you have another job?

[13:05] And they're like, oh, yeah, be a bounty hunter.

[13:07] And she's like, OK.

[13:08] And that's it.

[13:09] Case closed.

[13:10] If only, Dan.

[13:11] But it went on for another hour and roughly 15 minutes.

[13:17] Yeah.

[13:18] She gets, as her case, this guy, what's his name, Morelli?

[13:21] Morelli.

[13:22] Morelli.

[13:23] Officer Morelli, a cop who's been accused of murder and is on the run, also the man

[13:28] she lost her virginity to when she was 17.

[13:31] And then he didn't call her back.

[13:32] So she rammed him in the leg with her car and broke it.

[13:35] But that's all unter die Brücke, as the Germans would say.

[13:40] That's correct, by the way.

[13:41] Thank you.

[13:42] Where was I?

[13:43] I was so busy figuring it out.

[13:45] You would think that this would be a difficult first case for a first-time bounty hunter,

[13:50] right?

[13:51] Yes, especially since every other bounty hunter seems to be on this case because it's so difficult.

[13:54] Yet she finds him almost instantly.

[13:55] Yeah, this is a Midnight Run-style case where it's a high-profile, big reward case.

[14:01] A lot of people...

[14:02] Yeah, she's going to get 50,000 buckaroos.

[14:03] I mean, I'd have been up for it if it was, like, a whole bunch of wacky bounty hunters

[14:05] all trying to catch this guy.

[14:06] Like smoke and aces?

[14:07] Mm-hmm.

[14:08] No, but, like, wackier.

[14:09] Like Empire Strikes Back?

[14:10] Yes.

[14:11] Look, it doesn't get any wackier than a robot, a lizard man, a bug robot, and another robot.

[14:18] A really thin robot.

[14:19] And a guy in a turban, right?

[14:22] And a guy wearing ace bandages.

[14:23] That one robot needs to be...

[14:24] Dirty ace bandages all over his body.

[14:25] Yeah.

[14:26] Like a space...

[14:27] And ace mummy.

[14:28] Wait, did...

[14:29] That's what he...

[14:30] Dengar.

[14:31] The space mummy?

[14:32] Oh, man.

[14:33] If the space mum's on your tail...

[14:36] And a Boba Fett.

[14:37] Did he say Boba Fett?

[14:38] I didn't say Boba Fett.

[14:39] Boba Fett.

[14:40] He's too cool to make fun of.

[14:41] Did he say Boba Fett coming after you?

[14:42] Nope.

[14:43] No, because then you'll say, Boba Fett?

[14:44] Boba Fett where?

[14:45] And you'll hit him with a pole and knock him into a giant, round mouth.

[14:49] Yeah.

[14:50] So...

[14:51] Big ol' sand vagina.

[14:52] But she manages to find...

[14:54] I was gonna go toothed anus, but I'm glad that you picked your vagina.

[14:58] Okay.

[14:59] It sounds like...

[15:00] Like, if you...

[15:01] Like a teen...

[15:02] So we're gonna talk about the starlight kids, right?

[15:03] I was gonna say, like, a teen...

[15:04] Just clarify.

[15:05] Toothed anus sounds like the name of, like, a punk in, like, an 80s teen comic book.

[15:11] And there's our drummer, Toothed Anus.

[15:14] But he turns out to be an okay guy.

[15:16] Like, everyone just scared him for no reason.

[15:18] Yeah, but it turns out at the end, he's the guy who helps...

[15:20] His dad's, like, the chief of police or something, and he helps him get out of a jam.

[15:23] Oh, yeah.

[15:24] Not a bad guy, Toothed Anus.

[15:25] Uh...

[15:26] To the desk of T. Anus.

[15:29] So, anyway, Stephanie Plum manages to find Morelli very easily for the guy that all the bounty hunters are after.

[15:36] But she loses...

[15:37] She loses him again.

[15:38] She loses him again.

[15:39] And so the rest of the movie, while she's looking for other bounties to get easy cash along the way, she is going after Morelli.

[15:46] She finds, like, two, right?

[15:48] Yeah, one is a naked man who lives in her building.

[15:50] Yeah, a naked elderly man who had given her newspapers for her hamster cage before.

[15:55] So it feels kind of like a betrayal of trust for her to take him into the police.

[15:58] Yeah.

[15:59] I mean, I don't think it's any different than her chasing down the guy who gave her the gift of losing her virginity, though.

[16:05] Gave her the gift of losing her virginity.

[16:08] That's what you think of all of the women you've despoiled in your time, Stuart.

[16:13] That's one gift you can't return.

[16:15] That's true.

[16:16] And I could have used, I don't know about you guys, I could have used a really great montage of her just, like, catching crooks.

[16:22] Yeah, that would have been nice.

[16:23] But, like, sassy.

[16:24] Like, hitting one with a baguette.

[16:25] Choking one with a submarine sandwich.

[16:29] Like France to catch them.

[16:32] These are all, like, bread-based.

[16:34] Stripping a guy with a loaf of bread.

[16:38] I think you think this movie was called Bread for the Money.

[16:40] It was not.

[16:41] It was called One for the Money.

[16:43] I don't know if she's some kind of bread-based superhero.

[16:46] I don't know.

[16:47] I think it works, though.

[16:48] The superheroine baguette.

[16:54] Nice.

[16:55] She takes down that and, like, a hillbilly type.

[16:58] And along with the help of it, she's kind of taught the ropes of being a bounty hunter by handsome, hunky bounty hunter, Ranger.

[17:06] Who she said was like the Michelangelo's David, dipped in chocolate or something.

[17:10] Dipped in caramel.

[17:11] Caramel, yeah.

[17:12] And packing heat.

[17:15] And he's, basically, he's there to set up a love triangle.

[17:19] Will they, won't they?

[17:20] Because there's also Morelli.

[17:22] And the whole movie is basically them running around.

[17:24] Catherine Heigl is trying to catch Morelli, but then ends up getting caught up in trying to catch the man, it looks like, may have actually committed the murder.

[17:32] Yeah, she has a little sympathy for him because there's still attraction there.

[17:35] And she thinks...

[17:36] He's got amazing blue eyes.

[17:37] Yeah.

[17:38] And he looks like a...

[17:39] I'm not being Quinn.

[17:40] I'm not being...

[17:41] And he's super cut.

[17:42] Like I said, he's got abs like a ninja turtle.

[17:44] And she doesn't 100% believe that he's guilty.

[17:47] She's just maybe...

[17:48] I mean, she doesn't want to believe it.

[17:49] Yeah, those eyes.

[17:50] How could they be guilty?

[17:51] Yeah.

[17:53] So, but along...

[17:54] He might be guilty, but his body isn't.

[17:55] That's the thing.

[17:57] If there was only a way where you could take his brain out of his body and just use his body for some kind of crazy carnal thing.

[18:02] Oh, but there is, Stuart.

[18:03] Okay.

[18:04] Follow me into the lab.

[18:07] The man with no brain.

[18:08] Dr. Sechsenstein over here.

[18:11] Is that a funk musician?

[18:12] I hope so.

[18:14] So, but along the way, Catherine Heigl starts racking up a pretty big body count.

[18:20] She leads to a lovable pothead getting thrown to his death.

[18:25] Who's in...

[18:26] There are a couple of likable characters who are in one scene and then get killed.

[18:29] Yeah, well, there were a bunch of characters who were like...

[18:32] Who just happened to be witnesses to the crime that Morelli committed, I guess.

[18:37] That Morelli was accused of committing.

[18:38] Yeah, and it seems like there's a lot of people there.

[18:41] Yeah, for an abandoned building or wherever it was.

[18:46] Sure.

[18:47] There were like 15 people in that room.

[18:49] Yeah.

[18:51] But, so...

[18:52] People start dying.

[18:53] Shari Shepard is a prostitute, part of a prostitute duo who she goes to for information.

[18:58] Shari Shepard gets totally beaten up, has to go to the hospital.

[19:01] Fisher Stevens appears for one scene and then gets blown up in a car bomb.

[19:06] Yeah, it's a real cock tease when it comes to Fisher Stevens.

[19:08] Well, we saw his name in the credits and we were like, yes, Fisher Stevens!

[19:11] Doesn't appear until like the last third of the movie and then gets blowed up.

[19:15] Yeah.

[19:16] Almost instantly.

[19:17] Spoiler alert.

[19:18] We spent about 10 minutes trying to come up with scenarios that he might have survived the explosion.

[19:22] Yeah.

[19:23] So, for all you fish heads out there, don't even bother watching this movie.

[19:26] Yeah, for Mr. Skin, Fisher Stevens edition.

[19:30] Wait, is that for when Fisher Stevens is naked in a movie?

[19:34] Yeah.

[19:35] Turtling, it's called.

[19:38] And finally, we find out who did the whole thing after another couple people get killed.

[19:44] Should I reveal who it was?

[19:46] Yeah, sure, it doesn't matter.

[19:47] It turns out to be boxing gym owner John Leguizamo.

[19:51] The pest?

[19:52] Yes, the pest, the violator himself, in league with a mixed martial arts champion.

[20:00] large fighter named ramirez

[20:02] and in the end uh... katherine heigl

[20:06] gunpoint she's being held a gunpoint her morelli

[20:08] in a meat truck in the middle of a swamp or something

[20:11] and john leguizamo

[20:14] holding them off and then

[20:15] like what is really pretend to be sick and i was i was a really is handcuffed

[20:20] to something yeah

[20:21] uh... and then katherine heigl

[20:24] pretends to be sick i guess so john leguizamo's like okay she said i won't

[20:28] point my gun at her anymore

[20:30] that's probably what's making her sick. what's wrong honey? and she pushes him over and then

[20:34] shoots him in the chest like four times

[20:37] case closed

[20:39] for real

[20:40] and uh... morelli i guess and they clear morelli's name i mean she she was wearing a wire

[20:45] right it's not a lethal weapon two sort of thing i don't i don't know if she was still wearing a wire

[20:49] she hands it over at the end to her like her friend that as we were saying was like a cross

[20:53] between steve buscemi and will arnett

[20:56] she's like oh you know he's innocent by the way but let him cool his heels for a while

[21:01] she's friends with one of the policemen in trenton

[21:03] yeah who uh...

[21:04] yeah

[21:04] yeah she turns in the love interest for the bounty

[21:07] but then is like oh by the way he's innocent but uh... keep him in jail for a bit

[21:11] yeah because he's mad at me

[21:13] and so she's got the job

[21:15] sherry shepherd gets the job as a file clerk. she got to shoot a guy no there's nothing on her

[21:19] she got to kill a guy. well because it's justified she has to fill the paperwork but yeah she got to hunt the

[21:23] most dangerous game. leguizamo. no payback at all.

[21:29] she got to yeah

[21:30] she got to hunt the most dangerous game of sexaholics

[21:35] as a stage show that john leguizamo did a while back

[21:39] uh... so guys. the most dangerous game of pyromaniac love story

[21:43] uh... and so

[21:45] case closed stephanie plumb is off on her off

[21:47] she's got a new job as a bounty hunter and now it's time for more stephanie plumb

[21:51] so we can expect twenty seven more movies in the series

[21:54] this was a huge hit right?

[21:57] it was actually a huge not hit. what's the opposite of a hit? wait how much did this thing cost?

[22:01] it cost the budget of the film was about forty million dollars not counting

[22:04] marketing distribution

[22:06] so and it made like what? forty million dollars? that is not on the screen

[22:11] well a lot of it's katherine heigl's

[22:12] katherine heigl, fisher stevens does it come to you?

[22:15] in this day and age katherine heigl is still uh...

[22:18] drawing down enough of a

[22:20] it was forty million

[22:22] and it what took in like ten zillion dollars uh... eleven zillion? according to wikipedia it

[22:27] made about twenty six million dollars in america

[22:29] okay and

[22:30] ten million dollars the international box office was huge right? ten million dollars overseas

[22:35] that's just per country right?

[22:37] uh... in the world for every country all of them put together they didn't they

[22:41] i mean they didn't

[22:42] abroad it was called of course plumb finder of lost persons which was huge

[22:47] i think it was called lady dick

[22:49] i i i i think it was called lady dick it would have made way more money

[22:54] uh... at least in thailand

[22:55] yeah yeah

[22:56] so it was not a success and

[22:58] well here's the thing

[22:59] uh... heigl's other movies usually cost in like

[23:03] twenty seven to thirty million dollar range so for a movie like this that's a

[23:06] katherine heigl movie that also has like

[23:08] explosions and gunshots i could see it

[23:12] why it would cost a little bit more

[23:13] forty million dollars forty million dollars that is a lot of money for what we

[23:17] just saw yeah i mean it's not last year they're also they're also paying for

[23:20] leguizamo

[23:22] uh...

[23:22] i mean he's not cheap i don't think yeah well he's any they had to pay for

[23:26] leguizamo's stuntman to wear the squib vest or whatever yeah shawn leguizamo

[23:31] he's stuntman shawn

[23:34] they work together in every movie

[23:36] they had to pay for uh... stunt hamsters i mean there's a lot of actors in this

[23:40] movie it's a very big cast katherine heigl's body double

[23:44] yeah for that sex scene

[23:45] for the nude scene through the semi-opaque mostly opaque uh...

[23:52] is that another mr. skin tagline semi-opaque

[23:57] for a movie that is

[23:59] really this is a this is a lady movie let's be honest

[24:02] what's a lady movie a movie for ladies

[24:05] there's a there's a fair amount of

[24:07] katherine heigl's skin

[24:09] yeah i mean you know i mean like that was uh... you know that's i think that

[24:14] that's what's supposed to draw the man you know she's uh...

[24:17] she's uh... there's action

[24:19] and most of that action is done in tight jeans and uh... low-cut top

[24:24] uh... so that gets the boyfriend in the scenes

[24:27] what about the girlfriends he's a very large boyfriend

[24:29] yeah multiple seats it's a bi-couple

[24:32] so that it's really inflated you have to buy the seats i thought you were a renter

[24:36] no you bring your own seat

[24:38] it's weird these movie theaters are very they're trying to cut down on overheads

[24:42] they take those seats home they've got

[24:43] you know like they've got grease stains on them they've probably got some bed bugs on them

[24:47] you gotta pay for seat storage

[24:48] no this is a bad deal you should not go see a movie in the theater

[24:52] so yeah i don't know why it cost forty million dollars okay but that's what wikipedia says

[24:56] uh... and it was a big flop

[24:58] uh... which is strange considering so we're not going to see two for the money

[25:01] i don't well that's i think the second one is two for the road or something like that

[25:06] two to get ready

[25:07] like the each three to get ready

[25:10] go cat go

[25:11] well there's twenty three of them

[25:13] you're thinking go dog go

[25:15] which is the fifth of the genitive envelopes

[25:18] go dog go

[25:19] but each of the titles has a number

[25:21] but when they get to like twenty three is it like

[25:24] when they get to twenty three are they like

[25:26] twenty three dead bodies or something like that

[25:30] i mean i don't know

[25:30] they might just call it stephanie plumb number twenty three

[25:33] ten little indians

[25:33] thank you

[25:35] the twenty third book ten little indians

[25:38] it's very confusing the numbering system

[25:40] it's like a base twelve thing

[25:43] base twelve yeah

[25:45] so uh...

[25:47] and this is a movie that much like cowboys and indians

[25:49] cowboys and indians

[25:51] i would pay to see that

[25:52] much like cowboys and indians who were thawed together

[25:56] in the same movie

[25:57] together finally at last

[26:00] much like cowboys and indians

[26:01] do they even exist at the same time

[26:03] this is another uh...

[26:05] this is another movie where the

[26:08] optioned the source material

[26:10] many years before they actually made the movie so this was in development for

[26:12] about thirteen years

[26:14] in various stages

[26:15] yeah they're probably just waiting for the perfect katherine heigl to come

[26:18] along and step into stephanie plumb's famous shoes

[26:20] and

[26:21] do what she does

[26:22] i wonder what other actresses were attached

[26:25] eliza douchecuse

[26:27] uh... i don't know

[26:29] who's that one with the face in the bridget jones movies

[26:32] renee zellinger

[26:33] that would be a weird choice

[26:35] with the face

[26:36] she's got that weird face

[26:38] i don't know who else was up for it

[26:43] i will say this for the movie it moves pretty fast

[26:45] yeah and it is not

[26:48] it's dumb but it's not super painful you know it's not

[26:53] here are my primary problems with the movie

[26:55] uh...

[26:56] the direction is

[26:59] lacks it best

[27:00] like uh... the uh... the director seems to want to plunk someone

[27:04] down the center of the the screen and maybe have them sit there while they

[27:08] say something

[27:09] and then they'll cut to another person who's sitting in the middle of the screen

[27:12] you'd prefer a more arty off center? yeah well occasionally put them to the side of the

[27:17] screen and maybe have someone walking for once

[27:20] so that was a problem

[27:22] uh...

[27:23] and it's just like there's a as you said elliot

[27:27] people seem to not

[27:29] get that confused by uh... her becoming a bounty hunter there didn't seem to be

[27:34] anything at stake at any point it's the danger and because it's a light movie or whatever but like

[27:39] the danger of the fact that she's a bounty hunter never really seems to feel

[27:42] real

[27:43] or like the characters knew what they were doing or knew what they were in for

[27:47] and it made it hard to basically give a shit if katherine heigl's gonna

[27:51] solve this case if her life just seems to be like it's going to be fine whatever else

[27:55] but also there's a light movie about a bounty hunter who's conflicted it's called midnight run

[27:59] yeah that's what i'm saying there's a light movie about a bounty hunter who's conflicted about what he's

[28:02] gonna do

[28:04] uh... and it's called midnight run yeah and in that case like there's a real sort of

[28:08] sense of stakes like

[28:09] okay well this person may or may not deserve what they're getting but

[28:14] i want this money and the conflict

[28:16] of that actually feels

[28:19] like a legitimate uh... push and pull inside a person like a person

[28:23] who has a moral sort of quandary whereas this movie it's just like oh hehehehe

[28:29] i mean this is about as disposable as a movie gets and it feels a little bit like

[28:33] a that you know that

[28:35] trope of

[28:36] you have the the female character who's kind of stuck in a somewhat dangerous

[28:41] position and she's got

[28:43] two different possible hunky male

[28:45] love interests that are opposed

[28:47] for whatever reason

[28:49] and uh...

[28:50] i don't know where i'm going with it

[28:51] no i mean like you know it's it's it's it's not it's not big problems

[28:55] in little china

[28:57] i mean my uh... like a sequel

[29:00] my objections tended to come down like on a scene by scene basis of just like

[29:03] that's stupid but there's a scene where

[29:06] uh... as we discussed kathryn heigl

[29:08] uh... gets handcuffed naked to uh... the the uh... shower curtain rods awesome

[29:14] uh... yeah it sounds super sexy except for it's not but

[29:17] she's handcuffed naked to the shower curtain rod

[29:19] are you talking about the shower curtain rod thing again?

[29:22] she has to call her friend to unlock her

[29:26] from the handcuffs whereas anyone who has ever taken a shower knows that you

[29:29] can

[29:30] yank down a shower curtain rod

[29:32] from the walls. Check out fuckin' muscles galore over here. Yeah look at samson and hercules over here.

[29:37] I mean like as you said stew like kathryn heigl

[29:40] a small lady all she has to do is put her weight on the shower curtain rod and it's gonna crash down.

[29:44] We're not all twin sitters okay we can't all just rip shower curtain rods from the wall

[29:48] some of us are normal human beings. Possibly for comedic effect maybe not.

[29:52] Maybe there's a like boing sound effect. It's not like king arthur drawing the shower curtain rod from the wall.

[29:57] That would be a very weird reading of king arthur.

[30:00] but i don't know i don't know i just like honest on a little like a micro

[30:05] level

[30:06] their things that just don't

[30:08] ring true is like the fact that she's always snacking

[30:11] but how does she keep that rockin bod but they bring that up

[30:14] so he says hat

[30:15] morales is how do you eat the way you do and look the way you look

[30:18] yeah but what and what does she say

[30:20] i don't have something she's she's she's done a lot of work out a lot or what's

[30:24] going on she says i'm a character in a movie and i don't actually like this

[30:28] uh... i spit out the thing i was chewing moments after see the thing it seems

[30:31] like you're asking for a little bit more realism whereas i would actually want

[30:35] moving to the other way i agree with you be a little more exaggerated

[30:38] a little more fun

[30:40] and over the top marvel can get short now have you ever seen kind of and the

[30:44] best characters in the or the most fun characters in the movie are like

[30:47] the drug that the druggy guy who gets killed the prostitutes like the very

[30:51] other really says it's not characters and i have you ever seen the race

[30:55] uh... there's a lot of time for iraq which i have to have you ever seen the

[30:59] last action

[31:01] now there's a lot more like the last action hero i would be on board

[31:05] with a guy like a cartoon cat a guy with a last eye that has like

[31:10] yeah we're pretty sympathetic. Anthony Quinn farting in a tar pit

[31:13] all the things you want like in last action hero

[31:18] oh man

[31:19] death from the seventh seal

[31:24] actor william sadler walking around

[31:28] such a literate reference from it

[31:31] it's so weird to see an action movie where they can take it for granted that

[31:34] the audience is at least familiar with the fact that this famous movie has

[31:37] death in it as a character

[31:39] that's a movie that shows a scene from laurence olivier's

[31:43] hamlet early on like

[31:44] that's a movie that

[31:46] that movie could have been good it just was handled wrong

[31:51] i think the whole sequence where they're in the movie

[31:54] is great

[31:55] they're actually in the

[31:56] the action movie

[31:58] but then all the other stuff is kind of blah

[32:00] i do like when he's in a real world. Tom Noonan's really great. Wait, is that Tom Noonan?

[32:04] in which part? In that movie, isn't he one of the bad guys?

[32:07] I don't know. Isn't he the tall bad guy?

[32:09] with the bald head? Let's just assume that he is and just say that Tom Noonan's always good

[32:13] yeah he is always good and he's almost always a tall bad guy

[32:17] it's rare that he's playing a short saint

[32:19] sometimes he's a tall good guy

[32:22] like in the monster squad at Insidectickey, New York

[32:25] well he's kind of a weird guy. I would call him chaotic neutral

[32:30] Insidectickey, New York

[32:34] but uh... this i think one for the money would have been better i agree that like

[32:39] that those scenes in last action here at least like go for broke

[32:42] and they're not afraid to be

[32:44] to be a movie

[32:45] we were actually saying that it should be more like less action. Yeah, you're a facetious thing

[32:50] i'm taking that at face value. No, I agree, it's awesome. But i think this would have been a funnier or more

[32:55] fun movie it was like had a little bit more

[32:58] uh...

[32:59] looseness and energy and went

[33:02] uh... farther with its jokes and its scenes

[33:04] it plays it very safe like even when the characters bump into each other

[33:08] they just go like

[33:09] oh you again well blah blah blah they don't react to each other very much

[33:14] i think they could have improved it by at somewhere in the development process

[33:18] realize that they should have just turned it into a tv show and

[33:23] gone from there. It feels like I'm watching a tv show

[33:27] and i just saw the first episode and I'm like

[33:31] maybe they'll figure this out later on. Maybe they'll iron out all the crap.

[33:35] In like episode four it might be something. Yeah, you're right, this does feel like the pilot to an

[33:40] okay

[33:41] weekly show

[33:42] like a USA show where characters are welcome

[33:47] that's the thing they say. What was the show where the detective woman had a hat?

[33:51] uh...

[33:54] Prime Suspect. Based on of course the very good english show

[33:57] Prime Suspect. But I'm not talking about that, I'm just saying that kind of show.

[34:01] Does the person in Prime Suspect in England wear a hat?

[34:05] No, it's Helen Mirren, right?

[34:06] Yeah, Helen Mirren. She doesn't wear a hat.

[34:08] What the fuck's the show about then?

[34:12] It was actually originally called Hat Police.

[34:15] Hat Cop.

[34:17] You have the right to remain hatless.

[34:21] How do I get one of those hats?

[34:24] You'll have to ask your lawyer. You have the right to a hat.

[34:27] If you do not have a hat, a hat will be assigned to you.

[34:32] This could have been, so I say, take this movie

[34:35] cast somebody else in every role except for Fisher Stevens and Sherry Shepard

[34:40] and Barrett and all the other ones.

[34:44] And the guy who played Will Arnett and Steve Buscemi's son in the story of their love together.

[34:48] This is the guy who looks kind of like Steve Buscemi and Will Arnett's son.

[34:52] If you took this and made it the one hour pilot to a TV series

[34:56] and gave that series some time to get with it

[34:59] then it reminds me of what that show Maximum Bob should have been like

[35:03] if it had stayed on for a while.

[35:06] Maybe let Jonathan Frakes direct an episode or two.

[35:08] Two takes Frakes? Yeah, of course. He moves fast and he works quick.

[35:13] Then, yeah, it makes a better show than movie.

[35:16] All right.

[35:19] I think we're almost there already.

[35:21] I think we're almost there already, but we should get on to our final judgments.

[35:24] This is a good, bad movie. A bad, bad movie.

[35:26] A movie you kind of like. Stu, what do you say?

[35:29] Oh, man, I think it's tough.

[35:32] I think I'm going to have to say it's a rare middle ground between two categories.

[35:38] It's not fun enough to be a good, bad movie, but I didn't hate it enough to really say it's a bad, bad movie.

[35:45] I guess it's not really good in any way, but it does move fast.

[35:50] And I'm not I'm not going to remember it forever as something I hated.

[35:55] Yeah, I think I'm going to sit on this fence with Stu that, yeah, I didn't hate it, but I didn't like it.

[36:01] But like I could see my mom passing away an hour and a half on a rainy day watching this, you know, your mom.

[36:09] Yeah. The same mom who likes the books. I'm going to.

[36:11] So there's room on this fence. No, I'm going to it's a big fence.

[36:14] It's like the great fence of China. I'm going to I'm basically going to be with you.

[36:17] I'm going to say that this is one of the best of the bad, bads like it.

[36:22] It was inoffensive. I kind of enjoyed watching it because I was in the company of you guys.

[36:29] And I'll say this about it, too, like I think Katherine Heigl was miscast.

[36:32] I don't think that she like sells herself as being tough in any way.

[36:36] But she is not brittle and unlikable in this movie like she normally is.

[36:41] She's much more likable than she is. And she's much more likable.

[36:44] Like I remember a time when I'm like, oh, I like Katherine Heigl toward the beginning of her career when she was first coming out.

[36:50] I'm like, oh, she's she's she's good at what she does.

[36:52] And like they should have a nag as much. Yeah, this one.

[36:57] She never says Tartanian, but she shows a bit of a like a comedic flair in this.

[37:03] The ideal casting, if they had made this movie like 18 years ago with Marissa Tomei in the lead role, like that would have been basically perfect casting.

[37:13] Yeah, I agree. And you would have believed her as someone, one, who is tough enough to become a bounty hunter if she had to.

[37:19] But two, you believe her as naive enough to not know what to do as a bounty hunter and be in and be in crazy situations.

[37:28] But Katherine Heigl is just not quite. And also to have a cousin, Vinnie.

[37:32] Yeah, well, she doesn't have a cousin. She's actually engaged to Vinnie.

[37:36] Their cousins would be very weird. I totally misunderstood that.

[37:39] No, no. Ralph Macchio is Vinnie's cousin. But she won the award for it.

[37:43] Not every. No, not everyone. She won the award for being the best cousin of Vinnie.

[37:48] Not everyone in that movie had the had the title relationship with the character.

[37:53] Like, for instance, the judge played by Herman Munster was not Vinnie's cousin.

[37:58] Oh, my God. And Perry White from The New Adventures of Superman.

[38:01] So we're going to watch this again, right? Mm hmm. What?

[38:04] My cousin, my cousin. After this episode, it's on TBS or something, right?

[38:08] Well, it is very funny, like TBS. Or is that? Wait, what's TNT?

[38:13] That knows drama, right? TNT does no drama and basketball matches.

[38:18] And you say his characters are welcome. Mm hmm. OK.

[38:22] And this has been the basic cable taglines podcast.

[38:27] IFC always on a little off. Yeah.

[38:30] Logo shows RuPaul's Drag Race, my favorite show.

[38:34] And I think it's it's VH1's tagline now is just it's trending, which is horrible.

[38:40] That's almost as good as Time Warner's tagline. Enjoy better.

[38:46] They're like, well, we like enjoy and we like the word better.

[38:49] Just mash them together. Yeah, let's put them together.

[38:52] I'm Mr. Time Warner. I don't have a lot of time or mash them up.

[38:56] So now it's time for the Flophouse moving mailbag.

[38:59] Yeah. Elliot's favorite part of the show.

[39:02] Letter time. It's Flophouse letter time.

[39:06] Time for letters to the Flophouse with Dan and Stu and letters from you.

[39:12] Flophouse letters.

[39:13] You didn't even put yourself in your own song.

[39:16] No, that's well, you're right.

[39:17] Oh, and Elliot's here.

[39:19] Hey, who's this guy?

[39:21] Elliot Kaelin.

[39:22] Glad you asked.

[39:24] Born in 1981 in New York, but he grew up in New Jersey,

[39:28] went to Milburn High School, graduated.

[39:31] I feel like I fell right into his trap.

[39:33] Then NYU for three and a half years.

[39:36] I'm just singing my resume. OK, well, this letter is from Bob Mackey.

[39:41] He says, I withhold nothing.

[39:43] Wait, Bob Mackey, the costume designer.

[39:46] I can only assume he says, I come to you with shocking news.

[39:50] Make sure you're make sure you're sitting or have a reliable fainting mattress by your side.

[39:55] Both. Yes. Check and check.

[39:57] Another podcast.

[39:58] Don't do a spit take.

[40:00] Another podcast has completely copped your style, and though it may lack the raw sensuality

[40:06] of the Flophouse, I thought you should all know, unfortunately, that podcast is my own.

[40:14] I host 1UP.com's old-school video game podcast, Retronauts, which has recently entered its

[40:20] sixth year.

[40:21] In a callow attempt to mix things up, I recently decided to borrow the formula of your very

[40:25] podcast, of which I have recently become a major fan.

[40:29] So far, we've covered Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter, and Resident Evil, and we'll

[40:34] soon wrap things up with Mortal Kombat before we anger the notorious litigious Stuart Wellington.

[40:54] And I will do so again during the finale.

[40:55] If your listeners would like to listen in, just search for Retronauts on the iTunes Music

[41:00] Store.

[41:01] Plus, let me know if you would like to be sister podcast.

[41:03] If you visit the 1UP offices, you will have diplomatic immunity and will be able to murder

[41:07] anyone you want as long as it's with your bare hands.

[41:19] By the way, please see to it that Stuart is fully hydrated for all your podcasts, who

[41:24] is not the delightful scoundrel I expect him to be on the Conan the Barbarian podcast.

[41:48] If there's anyone out there who enjoys retro gaming, I'm sure there would not be anyone

[41:57] in our demographic.

[42:02] Our listeners are really awesome studs that like to party, hang out with babes, or are

[42:07] the latest in retro gaming, and they do enjoy tetrogaming, which is gaming based on the

[42:15] later works of Francis Ford Coppola.

[42:34] I've recently learned that someone I know likes the movie Old Dogs.

[42:45] What can I do in this situation?

[42:47] Has medical science advanced enough that I can cure this condition, or will I have to

[42:51] shut them in my basement for decades until they eventually break free and go on some

[42:55] kinds of old dogs related rampage?

[42:58] Unfortunately, I do not have a castle to lock them up in, though I've heard somewhere that's

[43:02] the best way of dealing with freaks.

[43:06] Thank you for your help in this matter, and if you'll please turn up, I promise to keep

[43:09] your names out of it.

[43:11] Now I need to ask, is the person who likes Old Dogs either a really old person, or a

[43:18] really young dog, or a really young, or like a baby, yeah like babies like all kinds of

[43:25] shit if it's flashing in front of their faces, yeah they just like colors and shapes, yeah

[43:29] that's what Old Dogs has, in spades, colors and shapes, well what are you going to say,

[43:33] old person or?

[43:34] Or like a baby, right?

[43:35] Oh, okay, yeah.

[43:36] Yeah, no, you're one step ahead of me, you're one step ahead, Kalen.

[43:39] If it's, that's what they call me, the nickname that's longer than my name, uh, yeah I would,

[43:47] if it's a child, that's okay, they'll grow out of it, if it's an old person, there's

[43:50] only one cure, and that's death, and they'll get it, um, but, so Elliot's encouraging you

[43:55] to kill them.

[43:56] No, no, the cold hand of nature will do that for you.

[44:00] Kill him.

[44:01] No, not what I said.

[44:02] And, and they'll be judged by whatever gods they hold dear.

[44:05] Anubis probably.

[44:06] Prom, possibly prom.

[44:08] Anubis takes your, your taste in movies and weighs it on a scale against a feather, and

[44:13] if you love Old Dogs, it's much heavier than the feather, and you're cast into whatever

[44:17] the Egyptian version of hell is.

[44:19] But your ka is unsettled.

[44:21] I hope that helps.

[44:23] So hopefully you, well, and I, or get a castle and just stick your freak in it, you know.

[44:28] Stick your freak in it.

[44:29] Don't.

[44:30] I'm, I'm gonna surprise you guys, stick your freak right in there.

[44:35] Please don't, ever.

[44:37] I'm gonna shock everybody and say, I'm gonna go with Castle Freak this time, guys.

[44:41] You should go and watch Castle Freak.

[44:44] Thanks.

[44:45] Yeah, if they like Old Dogs, show them Castle Freak, that should cure them.

[44:49] So, uh, this next email is from Heather, last name with hell.

[44:52] Locklear.

[44:53] It says, congratulations on your 100th podcast.

[44:57] I honestly just found your podcast through the uproar over not knowing that Olivia Wilde

[45:02] was the mom in End Time.

[45:04] Well, I guess every, any publicity is good publicity.

[45:06] Yeah, sure.

[45:07] In this case, we're going wild over it.

[45:09] You get it?

[45:10] Yeah, I get it.

[45:11] I am writing, I'm writing that Elliot, 1L1T, and Dan, incorrect, incorrect, in describing

[45:18] a costume of Superman that fits a circle of friends with different body types, didn't

[45:22] notice that you experienced in real life the basic concept of the sisterhood of the traveling

[45:26] pants.

[45:28] That's a good point.

[45:29] It was the Brotherhood of the Traveling Superman costume.

[45:32] Hoped it would set up a classic clubhouse tangent of the Brotherhood of the Traveling

[45:36] Superman costume, and how the Superman costume helps resolve your various cliched coming

[45:41] of age dramas.

[45:42] Hope Olivia Wilde was involved in at least one plot line.

[45:45] Yeah, well, that's when I wore the suit under my clothes to make it look like I had muscles

[45:49] so that Olivia Wilde would go out with me.

[45:51] Turned out at the end, she just liked my personality.

[45:54] I thought she was your fucking mom, that was the twist them up, right?

[45:57] Oh yeah, that's the big twist at the end, too.

[45:59] But she still goes to prom with Elliot.

[46:01] Yeah, why not?

[46:02] She's somebody's mom.

[46:03] Yeah.

[46:04] Moms can go to prom.

[46:05] Everybody's somebody.

[46:06] Every prom...

[46:07] There's an O and an M in both of them.

[46:08] Every prom has a mom.

[46:09] What?

[46:10] Wait, what?

[46:11] There was a hillbilly prom, too.

[46:12] There were a lot of guys there with their moms.

[46:13] So, I hope that answers your question.

[46:15] Dan, how did the Superman costume help you save your life?

[46:19] I mean, I, you know...

[46:22] I looked pretty good in it.

[46:24] No, I agree.

[46:25] You looked pretty good.

[46:26] And, Stuart, what would you do if you had a Superman costume?

[46:29] I don't know.

[46:30] I'd probably go into stores and see if they give me free coffee and...

[46:34] I'm a celebrity.

[46:37] You may know me as S-Man.

[46:39] You may want to take a picture with me and then I'll sign it.

[46:42] And I'll be like, no, no, no.

[46:44] No bullets, please.

[46:45] I'll die.

[46:46] Wait, I won't die.

[46:47] I mean, don't try.

[46:48] It'll bounce off and kill you.

[46:49] Yeah.

[46:50] Don't try and pull Houdini on me.

[46:51] Because I will surely rupture my...

[46:53] Yeah, because Houdini was shot in the gut.

[46:56] While wearing a Superman costume.

[46:58] No, that was going under a different thing.

[46:59] While wearing a Superman costume, yeah.

[47:00] I was saying, don't punch me in the stomach.

[47:02] Because I have super...

[47:06] Yeah, we didn't let him do that.

[47:07] I have super appendicitis.

[47:09] So, this last super appendicitis.

[47:12] This last...

[47:13] Oh, your yellow...

[47:14] The rays from your yellow sun have given me super appendicitis.

[47:18] Your yellow appendix.

[47:20] This is from Kristen.

[47:23] I think that means you have jaundice.

[47:24] It's Kristen, another lady.

[47:27] This is ladies' night here on the Flophouse.

[47:29] It is.

[47:30] Welcome.

[47:31] Catherine Heigl, Heather, Kristen, Bob Mackie.

[47:34] It says, hi, floppers.

[47:37] Hello.

[47:38] Hey.

[47:39] Some time ago.

[47:40] Someone's coming on to a letter.

[47:42] You have nice eyes.

[47:44] Is that your pick-up line?

[47:47] That's the first page, dude.

[47:49] That's the first page of picking up ladies.

[47:51] Compliment their eyeballs.

[47:52] All right.

[47:53] You've got really sweet eyeballs.

[47:54] Your eyes aren't bulgy at all.

[47:56] And then you neg them by calling them eyeballs.

[47:58] You don't look like a deep one or anything.

[47:59] A deep one?

[48:00] You don't have the Innsmouth look.

[48:02] Yeah.

[48:03] You're not like the last scene of Total Recall.

[48:06] Anyway.

[48:08] Kristen says, some time ago, you put out a call for Flophouse babies,

[48:12] which you defined as children conceived while listening to the show.

[48:15] Oh, my God.

[48:16] That didn't happen.

[48:17] I don't think I can meet that requirement.

[48:19] But I can tell you that when I awoke to my first labor pains,

[48:22] I was delighted to see my phone automatically downloading Episode 94 Dreamhouse.

[48:26] Oh.

[48:27] I'm sorry.

[48:28] Your witty banter and amusing anecdotes helped me to get through a very long day

[48:32] as I waited for active labor to kick in.

[48:34] At least I imagine your banter was witty and your anecdotes amusing.

[48:37] I can never listen to that episode again as I will forever associate it

[48:41] with the extreme pain of natural childbirth.

[48:43] Anyway.

[48:46] I eventually delivered a beautiful baby boy whom I have named after none of you.

[48:51] Oh.

[48:52] You didn't name him Floph?

[48:53] Thanks for making a difficult day a little brighter,

[48:57] and congratulations on 100 episodes.

[48:59] I am so touched by that story that I am not going to even point out

[49:03] that Dan, when he meant to say child, said gave birth to a trial.

[49:06] And I'm not going to go on a tangent about a woman giving birth to a full court.

[49:10] Sometimes when you're talking over me, I get so flustered

[49:13] that my mouth won't say the words that I want to say.

[49:16] One vein on his forehead.

[49:18] I'm really glad that we could be there to help you in your time.

[49:21] I feel like this was the Flophouse version of the sitcom

[49:24] where a woman is in labor in an elevator and Zach Morris is stuck there.

[49:27] Alf does it, dude.

[49:28] It was an Alf episode.

[49:29] Zach Morris did it too.

[49:30] We can all imagine.

[49:31] Wait, was it?

[49:32] Oh my God.

[49:33] That actually makes a lot of sense.

[49:34] Zach Morris is Alf.

[49:36] That's the thing.

[49:37] The three of us delivered this baby in an elevator somewhere.

[49:39] We both have the same haircut, I think.

[49:41] And Zach can stop time.

[49:43] Alf's from outer space.

[49:44] The girl from Out of This World's from outer space and can stop time.

[49:47] Hello.

[49:48] Saved by the Alphs.

[49:50] So you're saying that the bad girl's the child of Alf and Zach Morris?

[49:54] That's exactly what I'm saying.

[49:56] Well, we're very happy that the boy was born.

[50:00] or not healthily

[50:01] and that everyone's okay now

[50:02] and uh...

[50:04] i guess the next the next day will be a little

[50:07] denuer telly it's

[50:10] yeah

[50:11] you know where else you can do that

[50:14] since really in life form

[50:17] all right well uh... this is the final segment of the show this is where we

[50:20] uh... recommends movies that we actually liked

[50:24] in contrast to say

[50:25] one for the money

[50:27] uh... which got a which has got a marginal it's like a that's like a it's

[50:31] like a one-and-a-half star movie he got a he got a c-minus

[50:35] yeah on the flop out of scale

[50:36] yeah okay

[50:37] on the scale where brats is an a-plus and ten thousand bc is an f-minus minus

[50:43] uh... yeah i think this was a c-minus that sounds about right

[50:47] solid c-minus though yeah i mean it got points for having no spear-tooths

[50:50] but it did have plenty of manics so c-minus

[50:55] i guess i fell asleep during the scene of katherine heichel hunting a man between the lines

[51:00] so elliot what uh... what movie would you like to recommend i would like to

[51:04] recommend a movie called the missouri breaks

[51:07] uh... is a western from the mid seventies starring jack nicholson marlon

[51:11] brando directed by arthur penn

[51:13] uh...

[51:14] who you've known from other movies

[51:16] i'm not going to go into it now little big man

[51:17] little big man among others yeah

[51:19] bonnie and clyde and all that

[51:21] uh... and it's about

[51:22] uh... jack nicholson and harry dean stanton and randy quade

[51:26] are a couple members of a horse thief

[51:28] the horniest quade

[51:31] the craziest quade

[51:32] uh... they're a horse thief gang

[51:34] and one of their gang is killed by a rancher

[51:38] and they decide to get revenge on him by opening a ranch next door and stealing

[51:41] his horses

[51:42] and

[51:43] the rancher hires

[51:44] this uh...

[51:46] kind of legendary

[51:48] but very eccentric gunman played by marlon brando

[51:51] to stop them and marlon brando basically decides

[51:54] he doesn't really care about stopping them from stealing the horses but he

[51:57] does want to kill these men

[51:58] uh... and it becomes

[52:00] a hunt marlon brando hunting these people down

[52:03] and jack nicholson has to kind of figure out what's going on and and

[52:06] stop him

[52:07] uh... and it's really good the acting is really good in it and this is

[52:11] around the time marlon brando really started going nuts with his performances

[52:15] and like

[52:16] doing crazy accents wearing crazy costumes it's basically like this is a

[52:20] couple years before making apocalypse now

[52:23] so he's like not super fat but he's heavier

[52:26] but he's really good in it and his eccentricity really works for the

[52:29] character

[52:30] in a way that if anyone who may have read blood red meridian the cormac

[52:34] mccarthy book

[52:35] the villain in that blood meridian sorry blood meridian not blood red meridian sorry

[52:38] blood meridian

[52:41] marlon brando reminds me of that

[52:43] character a lot

[52:44] this just kind of evil spirit who is very puckish

[52:47] but there's something sinister about him even when he's like taking a bubble bath

[52:50] uh... and it's just a lot of and it's

[52:53] marlon brando you're like oh if only you could have stayed right there on the

[52:56] edge marlon brando you would have had a number of great movies left in you

[52:59] but instead he just kind of toppled over but it's a but it's a very good movie

[53:02] and it's a very uh...

[53:04] good western seventies western

[53:06] and he said randy quade's in it right

[53:07] randy quade is in it yes

[53:09] and harry dean stanton

[53:11] that is a twofer

[53:13] friends that is a twofer of uh... great character actors and also jack

[53:18] uh... let's talk about randy quade some more and marlon brando like two of the best actors ever

[53:21] in it yeah but they're in a lot of movies but randy quade yeah because randy quade's only been in a

[53:26] handful of films

[53:28] so uh... i would like to recommend so the missouri breaks that's what that's called

[53:31] uh... this is randy quade presents

[53:34] missouri breaks sorry randy quade

[53:37] i think my recommendation

[53:40] i think my recommendation is appropriate for a uh... week where we talked about

[53:45] one for the money

[53:46] with katherine heigl

[53:47] your recommendation is one for the money with katherine heigl

[53:51] no it's fun watch it on a plane

[53:55] a movie that has an unconvincing

[53:57] female action lead

[53:58] i would like to recommend uh... movie

[54:01] that has a convincing female action lead which was uh... aliens haywire which i watched

[54:06] uh... the steven soderbergh film

[54:08] uh... starting

[54:10] starring

[54:11] uh... gina carano

[54:13] gina carano i don't know how you say it you gotta pronounce it right around her name she's carano

[54:17] uh... ufc fighter gina carano

[54:19] who uh... steven soderbergh saw i believe on a plane

[54:24] uh... doing ufc fighting he was trying to watch sherlock holmes 2

[54:27] for your recommendation yeah couldn't find it

[54:31] punched the ufc button and said this woman needs to be in a movie

[54:34] there's a ufc button? yeah it's right next to the stewardess button it's where the ashtrays used to be

[54:40] but uh... it's a lot of fun you know it's a

[54:43] it's kind of a sister film to uh... the limey it's like

[54:47] lim dobbs the guy who wrote the limey wrote uh... haywire

[54:51] and

[54:51] it's like the limey

[54:53] uh... except for all the significance of the limey has been removed and it's just a

[54:57] straight ahead

[54:58] sort of action thriller

[55:00] uh... so

[55:02] if you swap out terrence stamp for a badass female mma fighter and she just

[55:06] beats a bunch of dudes asses

[55:08] that's basically the movie sounds pretty awesome do they use old footage of terrence stamp in it?

[55:12] they do not but they do have like weird uh... unfortunately ken loach didn't make too many ufc movies

[55:19] it is a steven soderbergh movie so there is weird like

[55:22] uh... out of chronological order editing and uh...

[55:27] david holmes who does the scores?

[55:30] i think elliot's right

[55:31] i don't know the guy did the score for like out of sight did he do the score for contagion?

[55:36] i don't know it's got that weird like sort of throwback jazz score

[55:42] then i don't think so

[55:43] uh... and it's the sort of steven soderbergh film i like it where he's just taking on like a

[55:47] genre movie but making it really fun what's the kind of steven soderbergh film you don't like?

[55:52] uh...

[55:55] che?

[55:57] i haven't seen it yet i wanted to see that

[55:59] uh... but this movie is a trim ninety minutes unlike che which is a fat four

[56:03] hours yeah so

[56:05] uh... i enjoyed it go see it stew what do you have to say

[56:09] uh...

[56:09] i'm gonna recommend a movie that is both uh... is my two favorite things both freaky and

[56:14] takes place in a castle it's called invisible maniac it's called freaky castle friday

[56:21] uh...

[56:23] this is a movie that's both a found footage movie which i totally love right

[56:26] dudes and uh... i don't think you don't now i'm gonna recommend the movie chronicle

[56:32] uh... which is like a mishmash of both the like found footage

[56:37] style movie and a superhero movie

[56:40] and for some reason it manages to work

[56:42] uh...

[56:43] even a lot and it's a movie where you have a bunch of uh... three high school

[56:47] kids

[56:48] you know you got one creepy kid who's going to be tetsuo later on

[56:52] you got one kid who's like the cool nice guy and then you got uh... like canada

[56:56] yeah yeah and then uh... one guy who's like

[56:59] you know the cool like

[57:01] he's like a jock but you know he's pretty cool

[57:03] and he's played by michael jordan uh... not

[57:06] the basketball player no the guy who played wallace in the wire

[57:10] and was on friday night lights his name is michael jordan

[57:13] not pro basketball he should change that name not space jams michael jordan

[57:17] uh... i don't think so i mean i'd have to watch space jam again

[57:21] you forgot who michael jordan is not michael jordan walking on air is michael jordan

[57:26] uh... i don't know what that is i think it's a sports illustrated video they put out years ago

[57:30] uh...

[57:31] you have these three dudes they touch this weird magical geode that's down in

[57:35] a hole somewhere and they get like superpowers

[57:38] and they totally uh... they try and keep it cool for a while and then they

[57:41] totally start abusing their powers and blowin' shit up

[57:44] uh... now the thing is that the whole like found footage element actually kind

[57:49] of works for it

[57:50] the special effects and the powers and everything seem a little more real and a

[57:54] little more uh...

[57:55] and they can let their budget stretch a little farther so

[57:58] uh... yeah it's good

[57:59] so chronicle chronicle

[58:01] of riddick

[58:02] the chronicles of narnia is what you're recommending

[58:05] legos bionicles

[58:08] uh... never was allowed to buy bionicles the chronic to the album the chronic

[58:13] is what you're recommending yeah why not

[58:15] sure chrono trigger

[58:16] for the super nintendo

[58:20] do we want to keep going or do we want to sign off

[58:23] let me think if i can think of another one

[58:26] chronos the

[58:29] godly he's a titan

[58:30] i mean is it a silly god thing

[58:32] yet he's a titans are god they call it a call heads the movie

[58:37] yet note that you have uh... that's got a recommendable david cone the baseball

[58:40] player

[58:41] but i don't know that i don't know the islands the islands probably a waffle

[58:45] cone that's the way to eat ice cream

[58:48] i mean it's better than spun sugar

[58:50] so chronicle

[58:52] all right well uh...

[58:54] i think that's it guys

[58:56] now i think i think you look at the awards that i think it was it sound

[58:59] like other words quote has been met

[59:01] though he did

[59:02] many have to do any next week

[59:04] though we will

[59:05] uh...

[59:07] here

[59:10] uh... okay well for the floppers i've been dan mccoy steward wellington is

[59:14] there any

[59:16] and there he goes a leak a little

[59:18] tonight everyone

[59:22] stewart wellington is me

[59:31] uh...

[59:32] where

[59:33] uh... and to do it

[59:36] myself madrigal impression thank you al madrigal the al madrigal is that i'll

[59:41] measure his animal friends

[59:42] school

[59:43] because of course one of the daily show

[59:45] uh... does that say who

[59:47] i get it

[59:48] no i don't like the hit band the guess who

[59:50] uh... let's do this

[59:52] shit show

[59:53] damon i was hoping to do a good show today

[59:55] moves now

[59:56] i think i'm part of that voted two to one

[1:00:00] You're outvoted, meow to one.

The Flop House: Episode #103 - One For the Money

Transcript

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