FH Mini 126 - Impressionable Peaches

[0:00] Hey, welcome to another Flophouse mini, a mini episode of the Flophouse podcast, a podcast

[0:11] that's normally about bad movies.

[0:13] But tonight we're doing a mini, that's a shortened episode where we're going to be doing something

[0:18] else tonight.

[0:19] I'm going to be your host.

[0:20] My name is Stuart Wellington and joining me are Dan McCoy, Elliot, Charles Kalin, lovely.

[0:27] So if you're a longtime listener, I guess I'm the only one brave enough to reveal my

[0:30] middle name.

[0:31] Okay.

[0:32] What's your middle name?

[0:33] Kirk.

[0:34] Mine is Lenton.

[0:35] No fake.

[0:36] It's Lenton.

[0:37] Yeah.

[0:38] Stuart Lenton Wellington.

[0:39] So Stuart Lenton Wellington is talking and I'm going to continue.

[0:42] So if you're a longtime listener of the Flophouse, you know that we've been around a while and

[0:46] it might be time for a change.

[0:48] My co-hosts have been pushing me.

[0:50] They say, you know what?

[0:51] It's time for us to shift over to a more popular form of entertainment.

[0:56] It's time to turn into a sketch comedy show.

[0:59] Sketch comedy show.

[1:00] And what every good sketch comedy show, that's why there's so many of them.

[1:03] Yep.

[1:04] And they're all successful and never have stinker seasons or episodes.

[1:08] So even the most successful sketch comedy show of all time is, I would say mostly stinkers.

[1:13] Ben Stiller's show is mostly stinkers.

[1:16] Okay.

[1:17] I guess in your America.

[1:19] Now an essential element of every sketch comedy show is impressions, right?

[1:26] People love impressions.

[1:27] Yeah.

[1:28] Monty Python's pretty impression-based.

[1:29] Rich Little.

[1:31] Michael Winslow.

[1:32] Impressions of Rich Little?

[1:33] No.

[1:34] These are not sketch performers necessarily.

[1:36] People love impressions.

[1:38] So one of the things the Flophouse needs to brush up on.

[1:40] I think you didn't have a third example.

[1:43] Rob Brydon.

[1:44] Michael Winslow does impressions of sounds, I guess.

[1:46] Rob Brydon and Steve Coogs.

[1:49] Okay.

[1:50] Fair.

[1:51] I got it.

[1:52] That's a twofer.

[1:53] Is it a twofer?

[1:54] It's a twofer.

[1:55] Two people.

[1:56] Twofer.

[1:57] So what we're going to do tonight is we're going to work on our impressions because I

[2:00] think the Flophouse needs to up its game.

[2:02] And the way we're going to do it, it's funny that I say game because we're going to be

[2:05] doing an impressions game.

[2:07] Oh, dear Lord.

[2:09] That's why I insisted we all get alcoholic beverages for this episode.

[2:14] Just to break down the walls, to loosen up, you know.

[2:17] Get nasty.

[2:18] Okay.

[2:19] So I in front of me are two stacks of cards.

[2:28] One of them is a stack of cards that are the names of celebrities or characters from movies.

[2:35] This was a list that was collected by my wife, Charlene.

[2:39] So if they're bad or wrong, she's to blame, not me.

[2:42] I'm off scot-free.

[2:44] The other is a, and that I'm going to hand you a card and that's going to be the celebrity

[2:49] or character you're going to have to do an impression of.

[2:53] Normal charade rules apply.

[2:54] You can't just like say the name.

[2:56] So not like the usual impressions we do.

[2:57] Not Saturday Night Live impression.

[2:58] My impression.

[2:59] Or your impressions.

[3:01] The other card is going to be a card that you have to, that we reveal before you attempt

[3:05] your impression.

[3:06] And that is the scenario that you are doing the impression for.

[3:09] Wow.

[3:10] Okay.

[3:11] So much more work than I wanted to do on this episode.

[3:12] I know.

[3:14] I helped.

[3:15] You seem like you did the most work.

[3:16] You had to write on cards.

[3:17] I had to write a bunch of cards.

[3:18] You do that work.

[3:19] I also, I'm not just making you guys do it.

[3:20] I'm playing as well.

[3:21] Okay.

[3:22] Which means I am exposing myself.

[3:23] I'm revealing my inner self.

[3:24] You don't want us exposing ourselves.

[3:25] Nope.

[3:26] So, um.

[3:27] You get a lot of good God.

[3:28] So you do the impression, whichever of the two of us who get the, uh, get it, uh, who

[3:41] will make a guess.

[3:44] If we get it right, we get, uh, the card to represent a point.

[3:49] You get a point.

[3:50] And if somebody gets, uh, the impression you do, you get a point.

[3:53] So you keep the other card.

[3:54] Okay.

[3:55] Get it right.

[3:56] So, sorry.

[3:57] We're going to guess who the people are.

[3:58] Yes.

[3:59] Yeah.

[4:00] Okay.

[4:01] Yeah.

[4:02] When he said charade rules, that kind of.

[4:03] Yeah.

[4:04] Charade rules.

[4:05] It wasn't.

[4:06] Call out.

[4:07] Yes.

[4:08] Which has no rules.

[4:09] Just right.

[4:11] I don't remember.

[4:12] I don't remember.

[4:13] Um, okay.

[4:14] The movie charade.

[4:15] Yes.

[4:16] Yeah.

[4:17] Um, back Applebee's.

[4:18] They said, you know what would be better if this movie wasn't kind of like a Hitchcock

[4:19] type thriller was instead of family restaurant, it was a chain.

[4:22] It was like a, it was like a William Castle style gimmick that was a bloomin' onion in

[4:27] every seat.

[4:28] Every seat.

[4:29] Wow.

[4:30] Okay.

[4:31] Be careful.

[4:32] Cary Grant's doing his, he's doing the trailer.

[4:33] He goes, when you see my new movie charade, just be careful when you sit down because

[4:37] there's going to be a bloomin' onion on this seat.

[4:40] I feel like I'm playing the game already.

[4:43] When you go to Outback Steakhouse, you go to sit down at your table and they've already

[4:49] placed an appetizer that you've paid for on your chair.

[4:55] So like.

[4:56] That's what's called Australian style.

[4:57] You have to be careful.

[4:58] Cause like you paid for that and you're, you might not want to eat it after your quarter

[5:01] and a half.

[5:02] I paid for this whole seat and now I'm only going to be using the edge that does not have

[5:07] a bloomin' onion on it.

[5:08] I will say this.

[5:09] It's an Australian style restaurant and they eat down under back down there, which means

[5:12] through their butt.

[5:13] So that's why.

[5:14] You know.

[5:15] That's what Outback means.

[5:16] Yeah.

[5:17] I'm sorry to all of our Australian listeners.

[5:20] Uh-huh.

[5:21] Good day is what I would say because it's nighttime here, but it's daytime there.

[5:25] That's the joke of it.

[5:26] So since Elliot is the visiting team, he's going to be going first.

[5:32] Oh man.

[5:33] So let me pass you.

[5:34] This is the name of the character or celebrity.

[5:36] Okay.

[5:37] The scenario is listing side effects.

[5:43] You have to list side effects as this celebrity or character.

[5:46] And I'm making up the side effects.

[5:47] Yeah.

[5:48] Or you can look up.

[5:49] I don't know.

[5:50] Improv.

[5:51] Yeah.

[5:52] Okay.

[5:53] You can Google, uh, what?

[5:54] Razapam or whatever.

[5:56] Well, you know what?

[5:57] This reminds me.

[5:58] I won't get this.

[5:59] Isn't this?

[6:00] I'll get into this one.

[6:01] And then later remind me to do the character which fits into this game that I was doing

[6:03] for my younger son earlier today.

[6:05] I'll just tell you his name was General William Tecumseh Kermit.

[6:10] I'll do him for you later in the game.

[6:12] Sure.

[6:13] Yeah.

[6:14] Okay.

[6:15] Unless he's on one of these cards.

[6:16] Unless the name is Kermit and the scene is fighting the Civil War.

[6:20] All right.

[6:22] I'll do this one.

[6:24] Okay.

[6:26] Blood pressure.

[6:27] Goofy.

[6:28] Yeah.

[6:29] You got it.

[6:30] So I'm going to keep one of these.

[6:31] That's on my little stack.

[6:32] And I'll hold that one.

[6:33] Thank you.

[6:34] I didn't even get to gambling addiction, which is there's a number of a number of medications

[6:40] that where there's increased risk of gambling addiction, which I think is a very interesting

[6:44] side effect.

[6:45] Hey, let's get real.

[6:46] Everybody.

[6:47] Uh, if you're having trouble quitting gambling addiction, seek help.

[6:49] Yes.

[6:50] Yeah.

[6:51] Please.

[6:52] Thanks for getting real there.

[6:53] Okay.

[6:54] Dan.

[6:55] Dan.

[6:56] Since Dan, uh, Biff that last one, uh, and that is your character and your scenario cast

[7:01] a spell.

[7:02] Right.

[7:03] I'm good.

[7:04] I'm, uh, Jesus.

[7:05] Okay.

[7:06] There I am.

[7:07] Jimmy Stewart.

[7:08] No, I'm sorry.

[7:09] Jimmy Stewart.

[7:10] I'm not who I want to be.

[7:11] Um, cause he did sound like Jimmy.

[7:12] Sylvester Stallone.

[7:13] I have Tom Brokaw.

[7:14] I'm so bad at this.

[7:15] Walter Conkite.

[7:16] Yeah.

[7:17] Wait, hold on.

[7:18] I guess.

[7:19] I got it.

[7:20] I got it.

[7:21] So Nicholas Cage.

[7:22] Yes.

[7:23] Yeah.

[7:24] Fucking I could not.

[7:25] I could not get upon the right amount of like, I still don't think it was Nicholas Cage.

[7:26] No, I know.

[7:27] It was terrible.

[7:28] I was like trying to hit, I was trying to find the right role.

[7:29] Cage is that he's swallowing his own voice all the time.

[7:30] Okay.

[7:31] Okay.

[7:32] So what is Charlene?

[7:33] Oh, this is for you.

[7:34] Me.

[7:35] I'm in the game.

[7:44] Okay.

[7:45] So what is Charlene?

[7:46] Oh, this is for you.

[7:47] Me.

[7:48] I'm in the game, baby.

[7:49] I can't believe I biffed that so hard.

[7:52] Telling us the plot of your favorite movie.

[7:54] Okay.

[7:55] Well, there's this dog.

[7:56] Oh, wait.

[7:57] Okay.

[7:58] Wait.

[7:59] Okay.

[8:00] There's going to be a lot of okay, wait.

[8:01] Okay.

[8:02] Wait, wait.

[8:03] I'll tell you.

[8:04] I mean, I don't want to like just steal a bit I saw on the internet.

[8:09] So I'm like, yeah.

[8:10] Well, my horse named Seabiscuit.

[8:13] Uh-huh.

[8:14] Tobey Maguire?

[8:15] Uh, no.

[8:16] No.

[8:17] When you said my horse.

[8:18] Well, it's my favorite movie.

[8:22] There's...

[8:23] When you said my horse named Seabiscuit.

[8:24] Damn it.

[8:25] I feel like Charlene wrote this one with me in mind because I love it so much.

[8:28] Uh-huh.

[8:29] Oh, homie.

[8:30] Oh, Marge Simpson.

[8:31] Thank you.

[8:32] Or Julie Kavner.

[8:33] It's like we're saying, like, Jule Houser?

[8:38] I'm like, I don't want to just do the Marge Simpson as Marlon Brando in The Godfather,

[8:45] but it makes me so happy.

[8:46] Oh, that's great.

[8:47] Okay.

[8:48] So Elliot, you're next.

[8:49] Let's do this.

[8:50] We're so good at this.

[8:51] Okay.

[8:52] We're so...

[8:53] I don't even know why we're doing this game because we're already really good at this.

[8:54] We're already superstars.

[8:55] We're already masters.

[8:56] Yeah.

[8:57] Elliot.

[8:58] Jan, how many cards do you have?

[8:59] I'm disguised.

[9:00] Elliot, your character is consoling Bambi after Bambi's mom's death.

[9:03] Oh, wow.

[9:04] Well, it's a cycle of life, Bambi.

[9:07] This is Tom Brokaw.

[9:08] Yes, you're right.

[9:09] It's Tom Brokaw.

[9:10] Okay.

[9:11] Man has ever the horrors.

[9:12] Oh, man.

[9:13] Oh, yeah.

[9:14] That was a good...

[9:15] That was a good pull for Elliot.

[9:16] That was a layup.

[9:17] That was not fair that I got that one.

[9:18] Okay.

[9:19] It's like we're doing talents today.

[9:20] Michael Jordan, slam dunks.

[9:21] Yeah.

[9:22] Michael Jordan, gambling addiction.

[9:23] Oh, no.

[9:24] Please, seek help.

[9:25] Dan, you gotta deliver a pickup line.

[9:26] Okay.

[9:27] He's like...

[9:28] Pickup line.

[9:29] Oh, this is...

[9:30] Pickup line.

[9:31] Pickup line.

[9:32] Pickup line.

[9:33] Pickup line.

[9:34] Pickup line.

[9:36] Pickup line.

[9:37] Oh, this is...

[9:38] Are you tired?

[9:39] Because you've been running through my head all day.

[9:40] Is that Gonzo?

[9:41] No, Gonzo would be a lot gentler.

[9:42] I can actually do a Gonzo.

[9:43] I can't...

[9:44] Is that Mark McKinney's Chicken Lady?

[9:45] Are you an angel?

[9:46] Um, so I'm not sure that's a good way to do it.

[9:47] It's not a good way to do it.

[9:48] Okay.

[9:49] So, it's a...

[9:50] It's a...

[9:51] It's a...

[9:52] It's a...

[9:53] It's a...

[9:54] It's a...

[9:55] It's a...

[9:56] It's a...

[9:57] It's a...

[9:58] It's a...

[9:59] It's a...

[10:00] It's a...

[10:01] It's a...

[10:02] It's a...

[10:03] It's a...

[10:04] It's a...

[10:00] No, yeah, no, you're Anakin Skywalker.

[10:02] No, it isn't. No, no, it's not.

[10:07] Is it Marge Simpson again?

[10:09] You're so beautiful! You've got my head spinning!

[10:12] Gilbert Gottfried.

[10:14] No, no.

[10:15] That's a good guess.

[10:16] I, uh, I'm sorry to put subtle clues in the...

[10:20] Okay.

[10:21] Head spinning.

[10:22] Rick Mile.

[10:24] Oh, God.

[10:26] Rick Mile.

[10:29] I'm the Cryptkeeper.

[10:31] How about this one?

[10:32] I was going to guess Beelzebub, but it doesn't sound like him at all.

[10:35] No, I can't do that.

[10:37] Remember, he's got to be delivering a pick-up, or she has to be delivering a pick-up line.

[10:41] I wanted to do one, but I'm like, oh, this person, their age is not appropriate for what I wanted to do.

[10:48] Okay.

[10:49] So it's a child.

[10:51] A child or an old man.

[10:54] Uh, is this false?

[10:58] Now it is!

[11:00] I can't.

[11:01] I couldn't even understand what you were saying.

[11:02] Okay.

[11:03] Dan, do you want to give up?

[11:04] I want to give up on this.

[11:05] Okay, Dan.

[11:06] Who was it?

[11:07] It was Reagan from The Exorcist.

[11:09] Oh, yeah.

[11:10] That's pretty hard.

[11:11] That is a very hard one, yeah.

[11:12] That's a hard one.

[11:13] It was a character, not a...

[11:14] Yeah, that is a character, unlike Goofy, who's a real person.

[11:17] Oh, yeah.

[11:18] Who's a real character.

[11:19] That Reagan was a real character.

[11:20] Did you see what she did?

[11:21] That Reagan, yeah.

[11:22] Was that Gooseface?

[11:23] Only a real character would do that.

[11:25] Zany stuff.

[11:26] Did you see when she vomited all over that priest?

[11:28] What a character.

[11:29] No, that's for you.

[11:30] You got that one right.

[11:31] Okay, let's see.

[11:32] How am I doing?

[11:33] In college.

[11:34] Okay.

[11:35] Because he said, how am I doing?

[11:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[11:40] Speak another language, poorly.

[11:43] All right.

[11:44] Oh, wow.

[11:45] Je ne parle pas français.

[11:50] It's not Gerard Depardieu, because he speaks it very well.

[11:53] Yeah.

[11:54] Sounds like Tom Brokaw again to me.

[11:55] It does a little bit.

[12:06] Someone who has a lot of trouble talking, I guess.

[12:11] Barack Obama?

[12:12] He says uh a lot.

[12:16] He doesn't have trouble talking, but he says uh a lot.

[12:20] Uh.

[12:22] Uh.

[12:23] Now it just sounds like Edie McClure doing the principal in Ferris Bueller when she picks

[12:28] up the phone.

[12:29] Just goes going all, all, all.

[12:31] You're going to find out who it is and you're going to feel like a real fool.

[12:34] I'm sure I'll feel terrible.

[12:37] It's Keanu Reeves.

[12:39] The Tostitos?

[12:41] Oh, Sylvester Stallone.

[12:43] Oh, yeah.

[12:44] Nope.

[12:45] Closer?

[12:46] Sylvester Stallone as Rocky?

[12:47] Yes, thank you.

[12:48] Nailed it.

[12:49] Thank you.

[12:50] I guess so.

[12:51] Ah.

[12:53] We mentioned Tostitos.

[12:54] Yeah.

[12:55] Anyone would understand it's a reference to Rocky Balboa.

[12:58] Man, we're doing really good here, guys.

[13:00] Elliot, you are attempting to pay for your books at the library.

[13:03] Attempting to pay for them?

[13:04] Yeah.

[13:05] I'd like to buy this stack of volumes.

[13:08] James Lynch.

[13:09] You got it.

[13:10] R.I.P.

[13:11] There you go, Dan.

[13:12] I had to lean back from the mic because I knew I was going to yell.

[13:16] Oh, man.

[13:17] I can't stress enough, this season of RuPaul's Drag Race had a snatch game where somebody

[13:21] went, I think it was Lydia Butthole Collins, went as David Lynch and it was such a bummer.

[13:28] Did not even do the voice.

[13:29] It was not cool.

[13:30] Very disappointing.

[13:31] Thumbs down.

[13:32] But Lydia Butthole Collins, great drag queen.

[13:34] Yeah, but David deserves better.

[13:36] Truly a great artist.

[13:37] Okay, Dan.

[13:40] You are requesting medicine from your doctor for a sprained penis.

[13:44] Like, doc, I don't like.

[13:47] It's kind of hippy, I guess.

[13:50] Like, doc, man, it's so weird.

[13:53] It's just.

[13:54] Oh, John Travolta.

[13:55] When you say weird, it means John Travolta.

[13:58] Yeah, there you go.

[13:59] Weird.

[14:00] Never has.

[14:01] It's rarely that I feel like an actor is identified with one word.

[14:04] I don't know if he's ever actually said on film.

[14:07] This one's going to be tough because I don't think Elliot has ever said weird.

[14:12] This one's going to be tough because I don't think Elliot has seen this movie.

[14:15] Oh, this is going to be hard.

[14:16] Yeah.

[14:17] Is it from the last 20 years?

[14:18] Because I may not have then.

[14:19] Yeah.

[14:21] Putting on a show for your parents.

[14:23] So I'd be putting on a show for your parents.

[14:26] For my parents?

[14:27] Better be pretty.

[14:28] Pretty tame.

[14:29] Clean.

[14:30] Yep.

[14:31] It's got to be.

[14:32] Your parents don't like like a really raw comedy set.

[14:35] I mean, like I said.

[14:36] He's up there.

[14:37] He's smoking a cigarette in front of a brick wall and he's like.

[14:39] They did watch a bunch of fucking Are You Being Served?

[14:41] Which is all pussy jokes.

[14:43] Yeah.

[14:44] You have a classy ones.

[14:45] Yeah.

[14:46] Because it's British.

[14:47] Because it's British.

[14:48] Yeah.

[14:49] So mom and dad, I am doing a show for you.

[14:55] This is going to be difficult because he's not the character.

[14:59] Character.

[15:00] With a big name.

[15:02] Is it the.

[15:03] It's the guy from Nora.

[15:04] It is.

[15:07] Dan is correct.

[15:08] It is Igor from a Nora.

[15:10] Good job, Dan.

[15:11] Elliot, have you seen a Nora?

[15:12] I have seen a Nora.

[15:13] I thought it was one of the few best picture nominees that I saw.

[15:15] And I was glad it won because I liked it a lot.

[15:17] Yeah.

[15:18] OK.

[15:19] I know the backlash to it instantly happened as soon as it was as it won best picture.

[15:22] But I liked it.

[15:23] That happens.

[15:24] Elliot, there you go, buddy.

[15:26] OK.

[15:28] And you are talking about snakes.

[15:32] Love it.

[15:33] Now, this is a rattlesnake and it'll make you go.

[15:36] And then there is a cottonmouth snake.

[15:38] It'll make you make the same sound.

[15:40] Oh, wait, Tim, the tool man, Taylor.

[15:43] Well, Tim Allen, I'll give it to you.

[15:44] Yeah.

[15:46] All he does is that one sound.

[15:47] Basically, I've never seen Last Man Standing.

[15:50] Maybe introduced a new sound.

[15:51] Yeah.

[15:52] Yeah.

[15:53] He's got another one.

[15:55] He's got another show.

[15:56] He's got another one.

[15:57] The premise is that he's a.

[15:58] Oh, he's his.

[15:59] His daughter moved back.

[16:00] Yes.

[16:01] He's an aging boomer who's got everything set up.

[16:03] And, you know, he's got like.

[16:04] Everything all figured out.

[16:05] And then his younger daughter.

[16:06] Is it Kat Dennings?

[16:07] Kat Dennings.

[16:08] Yeah.

[16:09] Who probably has a kid, has to move back in with him.

[16:10] So he has that boomer fantasy of being in charge still.

[16:11] Yeah.

[16:12] And dispensing wisdom, you know.

[16:13] So the every season, there is a new show where someone has to move back in with their parents.

[16:14] And it's nice to know that Tim Allen pulled that card this time.

[16:15] Dan.

[16:16] Oh, geez, Louise.

[16:17] OK.

[16:18] That's who it was.

[16:19] You told us the name already.

[16:20] Yeah.

[16:21] Yeah.

[16:22] Yeah.

[16:23] Yeah.

[16:24] Yeah.

[16:25] Yeah.

[16:26] Yeah.

[16:27] Yeah.

[16:28] Yeah.

[16:29] Yeah.

[16:30] Yeah.

[16:31] Yeah.

[16:32] I told you the name already.

[16:35] You're on Shark Tank pitching your newest invention.

[16:37] OK, hold on.

[16:38] I'm going to stand up for this.

[16:41] Oh, wow.

[16:42] OK.

[16:43] I'll try and still be good for the microphone.

[16:44] So the guy who gets his penis shot off in Robocop.

[16:52] The Castle Freak?

[16:53] Yes, it's the Castle Freak.

[16:54] Dan was just gesturing towards his penis and grunting.

[16:56] Yeah.

[16:57] Says Georgio, the Castle Freak.

[16:59] You.

[17:00] Hold on.

[17:01] Oh, man, that was pretty good.

[17:02] I'm disappointed that I didn't get that one.

[17:04] I feel like I would have nailed it.

[17:05] But Dan did a great job.

[17:06] He did a great job.

[17:07] Yeah.

[17:08] I don't remember the Castle Freak gesturing to his penis as much in the movie, but.

[17:11] Because I was pitching my Shark Tank invention.

[17:13] Oh, what was your invention?

[17:14] It was a protector.

[17:15] Oh, like a cage.

[17:16] For your penis.

[17:17] OK.

[17:18] I'm next.

[17:19] And mine is.

[17:20] Doing Shakespeare.

[17:23] Yeah.

[17:24] OK.

[17:25] Give me one second.

[17:26] Let me get into character.

[17:27] Get into character.

[17:28] Alas, poor Yorick, y'all.

[17:29] I knew him, Horatio.

[17:30] I may just be a single mom who works too hard, loves her kids and will never stop.

[17:31] Is this Reba?

[17:32] Is Vanderbilt in the blight side?

[17:33] Damn it.

[17:34] No.

[17:35] What did you say?

[17:36] Did I say Reba?

[17:37] It is definitely Reba McEntire, baby.

[17:38] Oh, it is Reba McEntire.

[17:39] OK.

[17:40] The funny thing is, like, I only know that through you, Stuart.

[17:41] You're referencing Reba.

[17:42] The show Reba a lot.

[17:43] Reba McEntire.

[18:22] That's Mr. Al Pacino.

[18:23] You got that right.

[18:24] It's Al Pacino, the loudest man in Hollywood.

[18:31] I saw him.

[18:32] I think I've said this before.

[18:33] I saw him on stage in Merchant of Venice.

[18:34] And I was like, his acting style makes total sense for this.

[18:36] He's in the theater.

[18:37] He's on stage at Shakespeare.

[18:39] He's real big.

[18:40] Yeah.

[18:41] Yeah.

[18:42] They're like, do we need to give you one of those mics that they come down from down

[18:45] your forehead?

[18:46] Oh, no.

[18:47] And it's also it's like in the movie Heat.

[18:49] It makes sense when you realize, oh, this character is high the whole movie.

[18:52] Yes.

[18:53] Yeah.

[18:54] Dan, you are begging for your life.

[18:55] Like, I don't like, why do you want to kill me like I'm Brad Pitt, but I like I'm trying

[19:05] to have an idea in my head that is just like not translating that this is why usually impressions

[19:10] are worked out.

[19:11] Yeah.

[19:12] In front of the mirror.

[19:13] Yeah.

[19:14] You know, sort of like, OK, not at the spur of the moment in front of a live studio audience.

[19:18] How about this?

[19:19] I mean, whose lines anyway?

[19:20] I'll do it better now.

[19:21] That's true.

[19:22] I promise.

[19:23] Yeah.

[19:24] Yeah.

[19:25] Couldn't have done it worse.

[19:26] Hey, man.

[19:27] Like, what's what's the problem?

[19:28] Like, we like, why do you why are you mad at me?

[19:32] Like, I don't I don't understand.

[19:33] Like Owen Wilson, we just know you would say, wow, he would say, wow, a lot, you know, look,

[19:41] it's very scary.

[19:42] I don't I really don't know how to do this person like he's got weird tics, but it's

[19:48] like Kristen Glover, Jay Baruchel, Mao Zedong.

[19:54] Well, just because I'm going to resort to the cowards.

[20:00] way of clues in the search around and it's a jack light just cuz I'm your

[20:06] doctor and I stalked you I don't want you to stalked by my doctor wait Eric

[20:12] Roberts do that kind of like loose sort of like he's got like this weird like

[20:19] yeah like suave mumbling this yeah he wants to be Marlon Brando yeah yeah what

[20:25] if I was a cat who was talking mm-hmm that would really would have said it was

[20:31] nailed it but it was Eric Roberts now

[20:37] hi is this Kelly yes Kelly hi Kelly this is Jesse Thorne co-host of Jordan

[20:42] Jesse go hi Jesse I'm calling because you were just named max funds member of

[20:47] the month for April oh wow this is so surreal how long have you been a

[20:52] Georgia seagull listener probably eight years I actually saw you guys at the

[20:57] bell house in Brooklyn and in 2019 was seeing us the reason that you started

[21:03] listening to the show I don't know I've been listening for a while why did you

[21:07] end up becoming a member it's really just been such a dependable source of

[21:11] laughter and joy and comfort I just appreciate that and I didn't want to

[21:15] take it for granted so I wanted to contribute and show my support because I

[21:20] don't want it to ever end Kelly thank you so much for talking with me and

[21:25] thank you so much for being a member of max fun absolutely it's my pleasure

[21:29] totally worth it if you're a max fund member you can become the next max fund

[21:33] member of the month support us at maximum fun org slash join this season

[21:40] on the adventure zone at nibbles get ready for a brand new crime fighting

[21:45] trio here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City

[21:49] featuring Justin McElroy as Axel Isle the firefighting axolotl Clint McElroy

[21:55] as Roger Moore the debonair cow of mystery Griffin McElroy is Navy SEAL the

[22:01] raw seal that has never served in the armed forces and Travis McElroy is every

[22:06] other swole critter in River City this swear free Saturday morning cartoon

[22:10] inspired story airs every Thursday on maximum fun org or wherever you get your

[22:15] podcasts greetings and salutations this is Dan breaking in with a late breaking

[22:25] ad from factor hey why not make this your best season yet seems unlikely but

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[23:56] first box that's code flop 50 off at factor meals comm slash flop 50 off for

[24:02] 50% off plus free shipping yes Stuart does a little fist pump I am explaining

[24:13] to a kid that there is no Santa so I hope no one's listening with their

[24:17] family Stewart's true life favorite occupation

[24:22] occupation okay look you're gonna stop believing in the center yeah okay that

[24:48] was a good one you had Santa but you lost it

[24:56] see I feel like they bring milk you bring cookies Elliot you are low-key

[25:07] talking shit about a friend's house now I don't want to say that final sightings

[25:13] a bad choice he clearly hired someone else to decorate no one decides to put

[25:28] a vase with a sprig of wheat my first walking is so close to my woody

[25:32] alley the only problem cuz I'm Jewish what's up with that smell there's so

[25:39] much contact paper on the counters you walk into the bathroom kitty litter all

[25:47] over the floor I won't I put my shoes on before I walk into his bathroom yeah Dan

[25:59] you got yours yeah I got I'm glad that like as we get deeper into the episode I

[26:06] don't want to say drunk around to say deeper into the episode we all we all

[26:10] like all of a sudden we get emboldened to do okay Dan you are this just says

[26:18] four score in seven years ago okay this is what I was doing for my younger son

[26:40] earlier today we walked by the Statue of Sherman next to the Central Park I was

[26:45] worried as hell and the meaning of that is there you have to make it as hard as

[26:50] possible for the for the other side so we cut a swath through the south we left

[26:56] nothing for them to eat we burn their town that kind of stuff you know I was

[26:59] doing better earlier when I was less drunk yeah okay we love this hold on

[27:05] now man like four score and like seven I was gonna guess what's his name who's

[27:15] the singer who sounds kind of like this he's an iron giant Harry Connick jr. I

[27:19] was I was starting to lock in every time I think of Harry Connick jr. I think of

[27:24] that scene in copycat where he refers to panties and squirrel covers he's playing

[27:29] the most crazed hillbilly movie it's like a pretty good movie this one I feel again

[27:42] I feel like Charlene and pick this one for me because she wants me to fail at

[27:46] it but that's okay doing basketball play-by-play she does want you to fit

[27:54] okay to Jordan then to Scotty Pippin I'm a very Nancy gross

[28:04] actress Terry gross I'm sorry I am a chameleon of an actress Meryl Streep

[28:09] that cannot stop telling you what's happening in this basketball game now

[28:15] Jordan a three-pointer oh my chills when thank you okay I mean Dan Dan do

[28:27] you have a total so you said you did anything wrong I'm just like sitting

[28:35] back thinking like how does one do till it's what yeah it's very hard yeah yeah

[28:40] that kind of like kind of slightly I see what you're doing was like the

[28:43] clipped sort of yeah like you saw what I was listeners at home right in how do

[28:50] you do your toes with don't tell me it don't tell us about till days went in

[28:54] this I don't like the accent on that one boom boom okay you're ordering iced

[29:02] cream how do I make it clear that I'm not just doing this voice

[29:10] but it's actually this person I mean this person has this voice it's

[29:15] William to Counselor Sherman I want to have vanilla ice cream I want that

[29:31] sprinkles on it I want another I don't I want another scoop of Rocky Road ice

[29:38] cream I can't really do it I can't really do it uh the nanny I'm not too

[29:43] far away okay okay okay you want me to give you Debbie Maeser

[29:54] you're just reading his crush

[30:00] So tell me exactly.

[30:01] Wow. I got provided a clue that I'm locked.

[30:04] I just I was waiting to have to do the biological clock.

[30:07] Yeah, if you got if you got closer, I would propose.

[30:13] All right, we got.

[30:14] Oh, I feel like Dan's had some bad luck.

[30:19] He's got to run a bad luck. Oh, boy.

[30:22] OK, are you ready for your scenario, Mr. McCoy? Yeah.

[30:27] You're explaining transformers.

[30:30] Oh, there's the Decepticons, baby.

[30:36] And the autobots are good.

[30:39] You know, you know, they're going to shoot each other with lasers

[30:43] because they are. Yes.

[30:45] I just went cheap.

[30:46] Yeah, you just did a song and you deserve it.

[30:50] I mean, you can kind of do the same voice.

[30:51] I did for me to tell me. Yeah, probably. Yeah, it's fair.

[30:55] OK, you made a face to it as if you're going to throw that card away.

[30:59] Well, it was a thing where I'm like, I feel like you guys wish you had gotten

[31:02] that one. It's like an animal crackers or harp.

[31:05] We just we're just going to throw it.

[31:08] Yeah, that's a great partner.

[31:09] No, Spain, I'm delivering a wedding toast.

[31:14] So this this guy's a real wiseacre.

[31:20] He's a he's a real party animal.

[31:22] Curly Mo Harley Quinn.

[31:29] Same. Yeah.

[31:33] So what's up, Doc?

[31:35] Bugs Bunny.

[31:39] OK, well, that was the deepest of barriers.

[31:42] Yeah, but I feel like the first part I was.

[31:46] Now that I know that's Bugs Bunny, that all made sense to me.

[31:48] Yeah. OK, Elliot.

[31:52] I remember what this character sounds like.

[31:55] You're trying to get someone to switch seats with you on a long airplane.

[31:59] Hey, Lord.

[32:01] Let's see, what does this character sound like?

[32:02] I'm trying to remember.

[32:04] Um, I just say, you know, no one knows this.

[32:07] You don't know the name.

[32:08] Uh. And would you give me that window?

[32:17] It's not pure Lori.

[32:18] No, it's not.

[32:18] I mean, it's absolutely hilarious, right?

[32:20] Because, um.

[32:22] Emo Phillips.

[32:24] Yeah.

[32:26] Is that the like honey smack?

[32:28] Yeah, that was.

[32:31] Oh, it's a character.

[32:32] It's a character.

[32:33] So and what a character.

[32:34] Igor. No.

[32:36] Is it a different Igor?

[32:38] Igor, too.

[32:39] He was the character that he believes in Igor's act.

[32:44] But Igor then sues later.

[32:45] Yeah, um, yeah, that sounds more like Gonzo, I think.

[32:50] Yeah. But like a perverted Gonzo.

[32:53] Is it Marge Simpson?

[32:58] Oh, no, no.

[32:59] I know this character's voice.

[33:00] It's more like, no, this can't do it either.

[33:04] Oh, like.

[33:10] Is Ellie going to tap out?

[33:11] And well, yeah, you know what?

[33:13] We'll tap out.

[33:13] OK, reveal it.

[33:14] It's Gollum.

[33:15] That's who it is.

[33:17] I couldn't really remember what he sounds like.

[33:19] Although now you were you were.

[33:22] Yeah, you are.

[33:23] Yeah, I think he does a lot of like.

[33:25] And I couldn't make my throat to it.

[33:26] Should have been like Trixie.

[33:28] I couldn't sit down.

[33:29] It's all my seat.

[33:30] Yeah, she's like, I want to sit next to my precious.

[33:33] You know, yeah, that felt too cheap.

[33:34] That felt like a real what's up move.

[33:37] Wow. Wow.

[33:39] Elliot's turning the tables on the game master.

[33:43] You're calling customer service to complain.

[33:47] I'm terribly disappointed.

[33:48] Michael King.

[33:50] I'm familiar.

[33:51] I've heard that one before.

[33:54] OK, yeah, that's fine.

[33:56] Yeah, yeah, fuck it.

[33:57] Whatever.

[33:58] You know, you only live once on.

[34:00] You can only live once.

[34:02] So some of these scenarios I wrote, wrote down, and I feel like I've

[34:08] hoisted myself by saying you are wrong, right?

[34:12] Oh, fuck off.

[34:13] It's only fitting Carmichael is that you got that one.

[34:15] Yeah, I'm glad you've deserved to get it.

[34:18] If I had gotten Golem, do a rap, I would have left the game.

[34:25] OK, now I have to do a rap.

[34:30] You're required to buy a law.

[34:33] You just know I have to do a rap.

[34:38] Yeah, when I wrote it down, I showed it to Charlene

[34:41] and I had this look at my face like so pleased with myself.

[34:44] Yeah. And now hours later, I'm like, oh, fuck.

[34:48] You have been served the poisoned goblet that you prepared for your enemy.

[34:52] Yeah.

[34:55] So you come to me on the radio or video call.

[34:58] Yeah, thank you. I love it.

[35:00] Keep you from having to do the rap.

[35:02] Wait, I was like, that was just hit what he says in the movie.

[35:04] So you come to me on my daughter's day.

[35:09] Hanging out with me.

[35:10] Pebbles in a major way.

[35:14] That was what I was going to say.

[35:16] In a commercial or is this the in canon

[35:20] in universe love that Unicorn Leone has for Fruity Pebbles?

[35:23] It's not covered in the text, but it's assumed.

[35:26] Yeah, no, you can you can.

[35:28] All the pieces are there.

[35:29] Yeah, it's more of a novel than in the film.

[35:33] But yeah, it's one of these couple of cut out.

[35:36] Yeah.

[35:36] So was eating a lot of Fruity Pebbles.

[35:38] It was raining and found its way into the work.

[35:44] There you go.

[35:45] Me again.

[35:46] Yeah, enjoy.

[35:48] OK, you're doing some dirty talk.

[35:51] Oh, boy.

[35:53] I am going to paint you like one of my custom Nintendo controllers.

[36:00] You got that right.

[36:01] So it was just a little bit faster.

[36:03] Hell, yeah.

[36:06] Do you think he talks to talks to his girlfriend about that?

[36:09] He must. Yeah, I imagine he keeps a lot of them.

[36:11] He's really proud of him.

[36:11] Yeah. Why not? He should be.

[36:13] Dan, that's you.

[36:18] This is going to be a challenge.

[36:20] Hosting a podcast.

[36:22] I'd like to see.

[36:26] Well, this is I feel like 90% of impressions are someone going,

[36:31] wait, hold on, hold on.

[36:32] I know. That's not it.

[36:33] I know you do it.

[36:35] That's what the episode of that's the name of this episode is.

[36:37] Hold on. Yeah.

[36:38] I'd like to talk to you about MailChimp.

[36:42] MailChimp is a way that one can deliver

[36:49] messages through the.

[36:52] I'm getting more. Gregory Peck.

[36:53] I'm getting more flowery when he's not actually that way.

[36:58] Someone is not flowery. James Earl Jones.

[37:01] And now let's turn to the next commercial,

[37:06] which is about Squarespace.

[37:10] Squarespace. I'm close on this, Mr. Belvedere.

[37:13] Yeah, it's got all in one platform.

[37:17] All in one. There's a gravitas there.

[37:19] Yeah, I have to have a classic Mr. Belvedere.

[37:22] Oh, OK. Oh, Patrick Stewart.

[37:24] Yes. No, that was a good one.

[37:27] Oh, OK. I feel like I got closer towards the end.

[37:30] Yeah, I guess it was going on.

[37:31] It sounded more and more like him.

[37:32] If you had called yourself Stajanus, I would have understood his character.

[37:38] OK, I feel like I feel like a lot of these are

[37:41] sure cherry picked voices that sounds like her.

[37:46] OK, Debbie Mazar,

[37:48] Carly Quinn,

[37:51] explaining to your Uber driver

[37:53] that you accidentally tipped more than you meant to.

[37:56] So, so, so, well,

[37:59] the the thing is, I gave you too much tip.

[38:05] When Sarah Jessica Parker, Jesse Eisenberg,

[38:09] it's in the ballpark of what you're suggesting.

[38:12] But, oh, it's like it's putting more New York on it.

[38:16] I got to get raspier.

[38:18] Oh, Natasha Leone.

[38:19] Oh, there you go. OK.

[38:22] OK, these are the this is the last one to eat.

[38:24] Oh, wow.

[38:26] OK, Elliot, this is your last one.

[38:28] You are so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

[38:31] You know, we're leaving a voicemail for your friend's birthday.

[38:36] I'm sorry, I couldn't be there.

[38:39] That's not it.

[38:40] Greg Romano.

[38:42] It sounds more like them, although they're like,

[38:44] I wish I could have been there your birthday.

[38:46] If I could turn my chair.

[38:48] Yes, there you go.

[38:50] I like this.

[38:51] Elliot didn't go like lick his lips and be like, that's what I should have done.

[38:54] I should have been fishing at body stocking for that one.

[38:57] And this is your last one.

[39:00] Oh, you are delivering a public apology.

[39:05] Oh, which we all will be doing after this episode.

[39:09] Miss Piggy, Greta Gremlin.

[39:11] Yes, I get my guess was going to be Audrey, too.

[39:15] That's the thing. I got all bricked up over here.

[39:17] So I knew what it was.

[39:21] And OK, well, I'm going to

[39:24] I'm going to probably cheat on this one a little bit.

[39:26] We'll find out. Damn it.

[39:28] She wrote so much text on this one.

[39:31] Explaining to a waitress why you can't have a certain food.

[39:35] And it's not because you're allergic.

[39:37] I like the specificity.

[39:39] It has an extra little, you know, zing. OK.

[39:44] Look, I don't I just don't prefer that.

[39:48] There's nothing with an allergy.

[39:49] The thing is, you can't you've already sat me in the corner

[39:53] and nobody sits Johnny in the corner.

[39:55] OK. Oh, why did we get his name from the from.

[40:00] Swayze. No, thank you. Okay. Oh, wow. I was actually trying to think of a car. What's

[40:05] his name? Who plays the dad? Yeah. Jerry Horvath. Jerry Horvath. Obviously, the listener is

[40:11] the winner. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,

[40:17] fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, nineteen for Stewart. I have twenty

[40:22] Elliot's. Elliot's in the lead. I only have seventeen. Oh, Elliot wins the game. And after

[40:29] and after doing a relatively poor job on my Williams becomes a Kermit character. Well,

[40:35] that's going to be for the listeners this side. I'm assuming they're going to say that

[40:37] Stewart we are. We had to break their spirit, not just capture their cities. You know, that's

[40:43] when it comes. So who's the this looks familiar? Oh, you want to show you could be an impression

[40:50] earlier. I had one in my back pocket that never came out. Yeah, I I don't I don't think I have a

[40:56] Muppet impression. Let's see. Let me see. Kermit, that's it. You did it. Great. Me. OK, so, yeah.

[41:08] So this has been a mini episode of Flop House. You heard us workshopping. You're all these

[41:13] characters. All these characters are going to be popping up, filling the airwaves in our new

[41:20] sketch comedy show, The Flop House, a podcast about bad movies. But that's going to be more

[41:25] for next week. This week, we're wrapping it up. I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy.

[41:30] I've been Ellie Kaelin. Or have I been or have I been? I've been me, Elliot. Yeah. And I just

[41:38] want to thank our producer, Alex Smith, for hopefully editing this thing down. You will find

[41:44] him on the Internet as Howell Doughty. He makes music. He produces podcasts. He's the best dude

[41:50] out there. You can find him on Twitch doing all kinds of great stuff. We are on Max Fun, which is

[41:55] a podcast network. You can check out a bunch of cool shows there. And thank you again for, I don't

[42:00] know, putting up with this. Okay, my name's Stuart. Bye.

[42:11] Maximum Fun, a worker owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini 126 - Impressionable Peaches

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