FH 32 - The Underground Adventure

[0:00] uh...

[0:04] everyone and welcome to a flop house many i'm dan mccoy

[0:10] i'm store wellington

[0:12] and uh...

[0:13] elliot

[0:14] kaelin

[0:15] uh... as you were so excited that i a definitively started the podcast that he

[0:20] was pumping his uh... this so hard that then he didn't pick up his own q no no

[0:24] uh... but

[0:25] but this is uh...

[0:27] so normally this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie that we talk about it

[0:30] see i was part of my first and then i had to take a big deep breath because

[0:33] i'm very tired

[0:35] i get tired very easily

[0:37] yeah on the on some weeks

[0:40] uh... so yeah as i was saying we normally talk about a bad movie that we

[0:44] have watched

[0:45] uh...

[0:46] they were not a bad movie we didn't watch

[0:48] floppers really is a sort of you know flop house

[0:51] after dark it's uh... it's the baywatch night mean it has been the final house

[0:56] uh... and we do whatever we want and

[0:59] is that what baywatch nights was the characters just did whatever they wanted

[1:03] well baywatch nights

[1:04] they were detectives for some reason help i'm drowning and they're like

[1:08] this is my time

[1:10] they're like off the clock buddy well i think that i think that david hasselhoff's

[1:14] character became a detective because he'd always wanted to be one so i kind

[1:18] of did do whatever he wanted yeah you're right

[1:21] yeah fair

[1:23] so in this uh... flop house nights

[1:25] uh... in the past now elliot you have read

[1:29] uh... from your son sammy's uh... writings

[1:34] uh... yes and for the record he gave me permission and then revoked that

[1:38] permission on air live

[1:40] and stewart you also you read uh... something you wrote

[1:44] as a as a young man

[1:45] yeah and uh... i haven't yet shared something for my youth uh... a piece of

[1:51] my writing

[1:52] uh... but that will all change tonight oh wow i'd like to share with you

[1:57] the underground adventure

[1:59] oh look at that picture

[2:02] yeah so uh... who did that is that quentin blake did that in the

[2:05] illustrations the words and illustrations are both by me and uh...

[2:09] you can see this is

[2:11] this is uh... a blank book

[2:14] that was given to me that of course i had to write

[2:17] uh... my uh... my story and then the front you've got

[2:21] uh... a man

[2:22] a woman a child and uh... some sort of animal i believe it's a badger smoking a

[2:28] pipe

[2:29] i'm gonna guess a mole

[2:30] since it's an underground adventure but badgers live underground too

[2:34] okay i'm glad that you clarified that this was a uh... a blank book given to you

[2:38] instead

[2:39] uh... for a second i thought that somebody had published this and proper

[2:42] found it

[2:45] uh... okay we've got an actual date on this we've got a copyright may nineteen

[2:51] nineteen eighty seven mccoy books so usually the copyright doesn't have the

[2:56] the day

[2:57] this has the year but that's amazing that it has the day of the month too

[3:00] mccoy books i like it mccoy books uh... my only friend so you were how old twenty

[3:06] uh... eighty seven let's see so seventy

[3:09] eight was when i was born at nine years old

[3:14] uh... although

[3:15] uh... if it was may nineteenth that would be one month before my birthday

[3:19] anyway moving into which would make you how old just testing your math uh... one

[3:23] month short of ten

[3:24] so here we go

[3:26] uh...

[3:27] the octopus flopped up onto the shore

[3:31] by some quirk of nature i like that this is this is the theme of

[3:35] the theme of flops already early in your career

[3:38] the octopus flopped up onto the shore by some quirk of nature it had feet

[3:43] although

[3:44] he didn't know how to use them yet

[3:47] there was another strange thing about this octopus it had fangs

[3:53] new paragraph

[3:54] wait i want to see that picture hold on

[3:56] and i can see i can see there's a picture of the octopus with fangs

[4:00] very well rendered

[4:02] yeah i guess the feet it's hard to tell but the fangs are very clear

[4:06] you've got uh... yeah those just like bent tentacles the benticles we call them

[4:10] no i like it i'm into it yeah bent tentacles

[4:13] uh... by the seashore a few feet away two girls were talking

[4:18] i tell you it's an octopus the first girl said

[4:22] with feet

[4:24] you must be joking

[4:26] the octopus ran toward the second girl

[4:29] so okay

[4:31] turning the page here

[4:34] that's the girl that doubted it

[4:36] that it existed

[4:38] the one who doubted this uh... octopus with feet

[4:41] uh...

[4:43] don't get too attached to the second girl because here we go

[4:46] it jumped on her and gulp

[4:49] hey i'm glad you did that the first girl said

[4:53] wow but before

[4:56] but before she could pat it on its head

[4:59] it ate her too

[5:00] mmm yeah yeah

[5:02] just desserts

[5:04] and literally dessert for the octopus

[5:07] that's so ate him right up said the man to the warden over the phone

[5:12] wait is this a cut to a new scene or is he telling this story beforehand

[5:17] uh... is this a sargasso manuscript type scenario

[5:22] we've shifted perspective we're seeing this uh... gentleman on the phone

[5:27] that's so ate him right up said the man to the warden over the phone

[5:30] oh no here it comes

[5:32] gulp the line went dead

[5:35] the warden sighed and hung up

[5:37] what will teenagers think up next he said

[5:41] but i'd better go anyway and uh... warden again

[5:45] here we can see the picture of what's going on here we've got a split screen

[5:49] yeah the warden is kind of a sheriffy type

[5:53] he's got him attached

[5:55] is that a bear lightbulb hanging above him

[5:58] you can tell it's a police station because it's a bear lightbulb hanging from the ceiling

[6:02] one chippendale chair

[6:05] uh...

[6:06] so moving

[6:08] moving on

[6:11] when he got there so far i like it opens almost like prometheus a little bit

[6:16] like we have this strange creature emerging

[6:21] it is uh... you know stewart you love uh... a smash cut opening yeah yeah

[6:26] one of those media res openings

[6:29] i didn't expect so much of it to take place above ground

[6:32] yeah well we're getting there

[6:35] uh... when he got there there were a lot of bones

[6:39] fish he said

[6:42] when the warden's clothes were found with a skeleton inside the mayor went on

[6:47] t.v.

[6:48] i don't know what's going on around here

[6:50] but i'm going to gulp

[6:54] i tell you it was an octopus the t.v. manager said

[6:58] well i've got an idea we could live underground the deputy said

[7:04] wow okay already

[7:06] so they have ceded the surface world to the octopus

[7:10] and here you see a picture of the mayor says mayor's stand on his podium or whatever

[7:15] or pedestal

[7:18] it says up there on air to make it clear he's on television right now and there's a

[7:23] camera no cameraman just a camera point at him i assume the cameraman already devoured by

[7:27] the octopus or ran away upon seeing the octopus

[7:30] and the thing is is like if you think about it

[7:33] or a pinwheel hard to tell

[7:36] if you think about it anybody who's wearing clothes has a skeleton inside their clothes

[7:40] you know what i mean

[7:41] that's true

[7:42] yeah there's a few layers in between the clothes and the skeleton usually but

[7:45] usually

[7:47] not always

[7:49] just look at jack skeleton

[7:50] here uh... that's you're correct thank you

[7:53] yeah it's just a skeleton wearing clothes

[7:55] here i'm about to use a term that i have no idea

[8:00] where it came into my uh... mind as a nine almost ten years old and uh...

[8:06] please don't let it be a racial slur

[8:08] well

[8:09] but it's a racial slur against my own race so

[8:13] uh... i guess it's

[8:15] it's a real gray area

[8:17] that's it we could run a cartoon called honky humor to get the kids to go underground the

[8:22] manager said and we could also warn the parents now i don't know

[8:28] where that

[8:30] a provocateur even at a young age

[8:32] i mean it could i could have just thought it was a like uh... you know show about horns

[8:38] you know

[8:39] comedy jokes shapes about horns

[8:42] i mean you were transgressive

[8:45] this is your putney swope you're really you're really pushing boundaries with it

[8:49] so uh... and we could also warn the parents now

[8:53] ten days later

[8:54] that's my brats

[8:56] timeshow

[8:57] now who was talking in that last in that last part

[9:00] it just says ten days later in the middle before before that who was talking about

[9:04] that was some of the offensive cartoon show

[9:07] uh... the manager

[9:09] it says

[9:10] the t.v. manager t.v. manager yeah

[9:12] didn't he get eaten? no that was the mayor

[9:16] oh the mayor got eaten

[9:17] and you mentioned you suggested the cameraman as well

[9:20] alright

[9:22] ten days later well a man said

[9:24] how do you like it

[9:26] wah a kid said i want to go back up

[9:29] they just descended into the great underground tunnel by way of the safety

[9:33] elevator

[9:35] up

[9:36] darn

[9:37] i knew we forgot something when we built that elevator

[9:41] now uh... here's just like a little diagram you can see

[9:45] well there's a whole town underground

[9:48] the way yeah i mean it looks or the way it's drawn it looks like it could be inside of a

[9:52] stomach

[9:53] yeah it does yeah

[9:56] uh... i like that's a very old-fashioned touch dan that he's

[10:00] as safety elevator

[10:02] uh...

[10:03] who who is a kid yet

[10:05] that's true

[10:06] uh... i knew we forgot something we built an elevator

[10:09] the man whose name was john

[10:11] started yelling at the people

[10:14] go back up

[10:16] freda

[10:16] a woman that was with them started screaming at me and i was not going to

[10:21] say that it's a bit

[10:22] it's a very kid way of of doing it where you're like a man who was named john

[10:28] let me show you all the math

[10:32] let me fill out this character his name is john

[10:36] uh... fredo a woman that was with them started screaming

[10:39] but it was too late

[10:41] then the kid whose name was ike started yelling at john

[10:45] do you mean to tell me you forgot the up button

[10:50] later after everyone heard the bad news

[10:53] suddenly

[10:54] a mole

[10:56] popped out of the wall

[10:58] and i'm just gonna here's the

[11:00] that's uh... john freda and ike

[11:03] i didn't even have to write that down

[11:05] i did a good job

[11:06] yeah big shoulders on john yeah john's a fucking beefcake

[11:10] he's like a he's like a

[11:11] he's like moose from the archie comics

[11:15] well uh... you know it's always good to

[11:18] to pause on a cliffhanger

[11:21] a mole that just

[11:22] popped out of the wall can't get a bigger cliffhanger than that considering

[11:27] the body count is enormous in this story already because of a fanged octopus the

[11:30] appearance of the mole was not

[11:32] a heightening thing yeah

[11:34] what's that mole here for you won't know until after this ad

[11:39] hi my name is graham clark and i'm one half of the

[11:42] podcast stop podcasting yourself

[11:44] a show that we've recorded for many many years

[11:47] and uh... at the moment

[11:49] instead of being in person

[11:50] we're recording remotely

[11:52] and uh... you wouldn't even notice you don't even notice the lag

[11:59] that's right graham

[12:00] and uh... the great thing about it

[12:03] go ahead

[12:05] no you go ahead

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[12:09] and you can listen to us uh... every week on maximum fun

[12:14] dot org or wherever you get your podcasts

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[12:23] or the hosts of round springfields

[12:26] round springfield is a simpsons adjacent podcast where we talk to simpsons folks

[12:30] about non-simpsons things that's right so in the past we've gotten to talk to

[12:34] legendary showrunners and writers like al jean, bill oakley, josh weinstein, dana

[12:39] gould, mike reese and david x cohen voice actors like marise lamarche, maggie roswell

[12:45] and yardley smith the voice of lisa simpson herself

[12:49] yeah so we've been away securing guests for our final five episodes

[12:54] we won't tell you everybody but we'll let you know that the last episode

[12:58] is kind of a big deal

[12:59] we got matt groening

[13:01] homer's dad

[13:03] we got homer's dad

[13:04] check out new episodes of round springfield starting june twenty first

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[14:48] uh... you know storyblocks is a great way to uh... tell your stories perhaps

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[14:54] an adaptation of the underground adventure

[14:57] by dan mccoy now if you want to do that i will go so far as to say the first person to

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[15:23] slash flop let's return

[15:26] to the story

[15:27] uh... wow

[15:28] can't wait to find out whether mole is going to be able to help john, frida and ike

[15:32] yeah now if you

[15:34] will recall a mole has just popped from the wall

[15:37] uh... i'll back up a little bit uh... here

[15:42] a mole popped out of the wall

[15:44] nothing strange about that

[15:46] everyone went on eating

[15:48] i say wait they were eating

[15:50] yeah they were eating when the mole showed up

[15:53] new information i think

[15:56] uh... everyone went on eating

[15:57] i say

[15:59] everyone started

[16:00] the mole had talked

[16:02] i say you'd better come with me

[16:05] and on the way on the way i'll tell you why i can talk

[16:09] everyone followed him into the hole

[16:13] there used to be an island where all the animals could talk but one day it

[16:18] became occupied

[16:19] it is now called

[16:21] iceland

[16:24] here's a picture of the mole

[16:26] he looks like he's wearing a turtleneck maybe or a sweater

[16:29] he's got a little sweater on

[16:31] and he's got a tiny little pipe

[16:33] he's got a lot of attitude

[16:36] yeah he's got his chest stuck out like he's that wisconsin badger mascot

[16:40] uh... bucky

[16:41] what do you guys think about that iceland surprise it's kind of like the end of uh...

[16:45] you know the invitation game when you learn

[16:47] about where computers came from

[16:50] that the computer they were making we now call them computers

[16:54] do you think there is anyone who was watching that movie who went

[16:57] uh...

[16:59] at the end when the text said

[17:00] we call them computers yeah i was watching that and i looked at the

[17:03] computer that was on my lap and i was like

[17:05] what

[17:09] that's your dad

[17:13] we all went underground after that

[17:16] suddenly they came to a dirt wall

[17:18] also this is a creation myth for moles i guess they lived above ground until

[17:22] iceland was taken from them

[17:26] this is like a just so story

[17:27] yeah suddenly they came to a dirt wall oh no said the mole whose name was

[17:32] zinui

[17:33] it caved in

[17:35] he was sad

[17:37] look here john i'm sure that's a very normal name for a mole

[17:41] look here john said

[17:43] maybe just a part caved in

[17:45] start digging

[17:46] he dug

[17:47] zinui's paws flew like a mad but it was no use here's a little i'm not really

[17:53] sure this picture is a little hard uh... iceland is the colonizers arriving

[17:57] to kick off the moles

[17:59] and the other animals

[18:03] the next day john said according to my calculations we are one hundred miles

[18:08] from london where we started

[18:10] and are under the atlantic ocean

[18:13] it was not

[18:14] a happy prospect

[18:16] on the third day they found so that mare that got eaten that was the lord

[18:19] mare of london

[18:22] it didn't seem like we were in england earlier it did certainly did not

[18:28] partly because you weren't doing accents when you were reading those characters

[18:32] the fact that the warden looked like a cowboy sheriff

[18:37] felt like yeah more of a

[18:39] jaw situation uh... on the third day they found a crack and water started

[18:45] rushing in and i put rushing

[18:47] in quotes and capitalized it i don't know the significance of that but

[18:52] water started recording someone is in rushing

[18:55] so it was screaming at the uh... yeah

[18:58] it's a reference to the band rush i think

[19:02] if it got to the center of the earth it would produce steam and the whole earth

[19:07] would blow up

[19:08] now that makes sense the math checks out

[19:10] i mean it's and someone's pointing to it as if to say there's a problem sir

[19:16] there's there's the water officer arrests that liquid that kid thinks he

[19:20] did something

[19:21] yeah

[19:23] uh... i will say i think you could sell that movie that there's a leak in the

[19:27] earth and it's going to put the core out

[19:28] yeah it makes steam

[19:30] they built a big trampoline and the water pressure pushed against it and

[19:35] bounced up to the surface

[19:37] it formed a circle that pulled in all the boats and planes that went down

[19:42] and it is now known as the bermuda triangle

[19:45] the end

[19:47] wow that was some story

[19:51] now he's pointing at the trampoline as if to say there it is officer

[19:55] that's the solution

[19:57] it's uh...

[19:58] don't arrest that water anymore

[20:00] I've got one one more thing here. It says about the author, okay

[20:05] I am Daniel McCoy and I'll be nine next month

[20:08] I like to swim and eat a lot and I hope you liked this book and then there's a portrait and it says

[20:15] This does not look like me even though I meant it to and I don't know about that

[20:24] Dan is more of a nose. Yeah

[20:30] Mean I like the smile. Yeah, I like the reptilian eyes that you put in there. So that's the underground adventure guys

[20:37] I'd like to you know, so I wasn't expecting the formation of the Bermuda Triangle to be the final reveal, but I like it

[20:44] Yeah, now we should ask you we should now there's an unfortunately no book club question and answer section in the back

[20:52] We can wrap up pretty early because I know that everyone here is tired

[20:56] But I just want to like maybe a little discussion of the themes of the book. Sure. Yeah

[21:02] You know if you had any questions for the author

[21:06] Like things you wanted to volunteer

[21:09] Interpretations anything now, you know, here's I think my first question that I had for the author is what?

[21:16] It's a good question I

[21:19] was a kid

[21:22] I

[21:23] think

[21:24] About how you have to plan out a plot beforehand and sort of have an idea of where maybe I mean you

[21:30] They were going underground because the title of the book is the underground adventure. I

[21:35] Well, I you know, that's true

[21:37] Although it's possible that I went back and I titled it the underground adventure after the fact that's that's very possible

[21:43] But you sold the book with a proposal about a vampire octopus

[21:47] And and unfortunately the story just got away with you that's not the characters

[21:51] That's the great thing about writing is when the characters start telling you what they want to do

[21:54] That's the thing. It's you're really uncovering a story that just already exists in the universe

[21:59] So do you expect Zinoui to be the breakout character of the story or was that just happenstance?

[22:04] I

[22:06] Think I did because I don't think you can draw a mole that smokes a little pipe

[22:11] And I know that he's gonna be yeah, what's next for Zinoui? That's a good question is

[22:18] Is there romance in his future?

[22:21] Or her did you specify that it was a it was a male, you know, I don't know if I did I

[22:28] think the character

[22:30] The character to me feels like a very

[22:33] Wind in the willows kind of

[22:37] Cozy character who just wants to hang out although from Iceland

[22:42] That's the weird like a bit like a sort of a Bjork wind in the willows

[22:49] Maybe now here that I I'm just impressed at how much you

[22:54] Decided to tackle in this book because you're providing us with the origin of human habitation in Iceland

[23:00] Why moles live underground where the Bermuda Triangle comes from all these things like this is there's a lot that you've covered in this story

[23:09] to the point where

[23:11] You know, it's just an amazing amount of information that you've packed into these pages

[23:16] About the research process beforehand. How long did it take you to winnow down your research?

[23:20] You just get to the vital essence question. This was kind of like an ancient aliens

[23:25] Where I just made up a bunch of nonsense

[23:27] So, uh, what uh, what one more thing what uh, what happened to the octopus? Oh

[23:41] Which might seem like an overreaction to the octopus the octopus eventually starve to death starve to death

[23:48] Because there's nothing to eat. Yeah, it's just too bad. They didn't put an up button on that elevator

[23:53] Else they might have gotten out, you know a few days later after the octopus had died. But

[23:58] Yeah, now did everyone go underground or is this like 28 days later where England is living in a state of?

[24:06] Dystopia, but everyone at the rest of the world seems to be I mean that could be a follow-up story

[24:10] That's true. There are

[24:12] Countless unanswered questions. Wait a minute. So didn't the Bermuda Triangle form before the events of this story?

[24:20] Well, I mean, how do you know when this story takes place that's true

[24:25] I mean the existence of television and an elevator kind of helps to place it somewhat in history true

[24:31] Although maybe this is an earlier civilization that died out

[24:35] I see far far also had names like John and Frida. Yeah, and I and London

[24:41] Now

[24:46] Listen now was I right to detect some sexual tension between John and Frida I

[24:51] think

[24:53] probably because they were an adult man and an adult woman and I was nine years old and that was my understanding of

[25:00] You know relationships at that point

[25:03] Then probably yes, I don't know

[25:06] Yeah, okay. Have you seen Jaws at this point or did you?

[25:12] Yeah, that's a great question. I don't know

[25:16] Well, cuz like I definitely wrote a story that was heavily influenced by the plot of

[25:21] Romancing the stone. Mm-hmm. So I'm wondering if if you were like, I love Jaws, maybe I can improve on that shit

[25:29] Yeah, where's the pipe smoking mole in this?

[25:33] Steve you're like, I mean Richard Dreyfuss is like not that far from that smoking mole character

[25:39] I mean if you're getting if you're gonna have an issue you should take that issue with Peter Benchley

[25:43] I assume you know, let's go back to the origin

[25:46] But I it does feel like you yeah, you saw jaws and you said when are they gonna leave this beach?

[25:51] When are they gonna go to somewhere else? I want a new location an

[25:54] Elevator beneath the ground and not be able to get back up. You think Jaws is scary

[25:59] What if Jaws came on the land and made everyone live underground?

[26:03] Yeah, it's got it. It's like if jaws meets the fantastic. Mr. Fox

[26:09] Meets just so stories meets the wind and the willows meets a child's understanding of history and science

[26:18] Yeah, yeah, so so get on it

[26:21] Listeners first one gets a hinterlands t-shirt send it to what's the email address Dan?

[26:28] Flop house podcast at gmail.com

[26:31] Okay, if you'd like to hear if you'd like adult Dan to write a sequel to the book

[26:35] He wrote as a child. I guess I know I would

[26:39] Let us know

[26:42] Well, I think that's enough for this mini

[26:45] Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for indulging this silliness. I

[26:52] Know that I enjoyed sharing it with you. Mm-hmm

[26:56] Thank you to Jordan Cowling who is our producer

[27:01] We just learned that she's gonna be leaving soon. Unfortunately, we will miss her

[27:06] We will have her for one more episode, but Jordan. Thank you for so much. Oh, man

[27:11] We're gonna have somebody fucking bleeps in that episode

[27:14] Yes, true

[27:16] Thank you to maximum fun for being our network

[27:19] Go over to maximum fun org. See a bunch of

[27:24] Great shows click on them. Listen, don't you listen to them?

[27:34] So when you said see you just meant literally like the the icon or the

[27:39] Yeah, put it play it through garage band and look at the waveforms

[27:45] Yes

[27:48] I'm on when it comes to podcasts. I'm on a C sounds diet. I see you sound and then I listen to it

[27:57] The flop house I have been the author of the underground adventure Dan McCoy age 43

[28:07] Elliot I want you to run that C sound joke by Sammy and see what the reaction is

[28:12] I think it's gonna be possible. This is what I'm gonna get from he's gonna roll his eyes and go ha ha dad

[28:18] Although he's he's still learning how to roll his eyes

[28:20] He'll I'll say something that doesn't like and he'll just wave his eyes around basically wave his head around

[28:25] He goes did I roll my eyes and I'm like, he's already

[28:28] Rolling his eyes at a teenager level. Yeah. Yeah, you guys say your names and then we can leave

[28:33] Oh, my name is Stuart Wellington an appreciator of the underground adventure written by Dan McCoy age eight or nine

[28:41] Yeah, nine at the time. It's probably spread out over a period of a couple of months, right?

[28:45] Yeah, Dan's like Robert Caro it takes him a very long time to write these books even when he was a kid and I'm Ellie

[28:51] Kalin appreciator always of Dan's talent as a young man and as an old man and

[28:58] every point in between saying

[29:01] Thanks for listening

[29:03] Bye

[29:06] You

[29:11] Maximum fun org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported

FH 32 - The Underground Adventure

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