FH Mini 50 - Tuboy Talkin' Tube for Teens to 2 Two Dudes Tonight, That’s Right, with Alex Smith

Stuart Wellington

[0:00] Okay, you guys are ready to fucking dance?

Elliott Kalan

[0:02] Let's dance.

[0:04] I got to hop.

[0:05] So you think you can dance.

[0:07] Dan McCoy, that is.

[0:10] This is going to be...

[0:10] Wait.

[0:11] Fuck, my notes are all fucked up.

[0:12] Give me a second.

Stuart Wellington

[0:14] This is going to be good.

[0:16] Okay.

[0:17] I'm not going to fuck this one up at all.

[0:20] And...

[0:23] Woo-wee!

[0:25] Hey, it's me, Stuart Wellington of the Flophouse.

[0:28] And I'm here to present a Flophouse Mini presented by Mini's Bar.

[0:32] That's right.

[0:33] But before we get into the meat of this delicious podcast sandwich,

[0:36] Elliot, I think you have a couple of words for our listeners.

Elliott Kalan

[0:41] I do have a couple of words for our listeners.

[0:43] I've got four words, in fact.

[0:44] Masters of the universe.

[0:47] March 19th, in only a couple weeks,

[0:49] we are going to be doing our newest online live show.

[0:52] The Flophouse is coming at you live on your own computer.

[0:56] You don't have to get dressed.

[0:57] You don't even have to bathe.

[0:58] You don't have to shave.

[0:59] You don't have to clip those nails.

[1:00] Put on makeup.

[1:01] Any of the things you normally do when you go outside.

[1:03] Put on your wig.

[1:04] Put on your hook.

[1:05] Any of the things you normally do.

[1:07] You don't have to worry about it.

[1:07] Because you can sit at home on your own computer

[1:09] and watch us talk about the Masters of the Universe movie.

[1:12] This is the 1987 Dolph Lerner again,

[1:15] Courtney Cox, Billy Barty, Frank Langella classic, question mark.

[1:19] I haven't watched it since I was a kid when I saw it in the theaters,

[1:21] and I cannot wait to see it again and see if it holds up

[1:24] or even if I even care about He-Man anymore,

[1:27] the way I loved him so much when I was a kid.

[1:30] That's Saturday, March 19th, on your computer screen.

[1:32] It's 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific.

[1:35] How do you get tickets to this?

[1:36] It's easy peasy.

[1:37] Let me tell you.

[1:38] Go to theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[1:41] Again, that's theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[1:44] The tickets cost you only $10.

[1:46] And what do you get for that, Alexander Hamilton?

[1:48] I'll tell you.

[1:48] You get access to this all-new show,

[1:51] a show we have never done before

[1:52] with exclusive, never-before-seen PowerPoint presentations,

[1:56] presentations we will never do again.

[1:58] We're going to be taking Q&As from the audience.

[1:59] There will probably be some polls.

[2:00] We'll have some other kind of comedy bit

[2:02] that we have yet to figure out what it is.

[2:03] Guess what?

[2:04] You can't make it that night.

[2:05] You can't make it that time.

[2:06] That is okay.

[2:07] Get your ticket.

[2:08] It gives you one week of access

[2:09] to a recording of the live show.

[2:11] You can still watch it.

[2:12] You can still enjoy it.

[2:13] Watch it as many times as you want for one week.

[2:15] Just put it on forever,

[2:16] like an art installation, like the clock,

[2:18] or that 24-hour vertigo.

[2:20] Just keep it going.

[2:21] Anyway, that's the Flophouse live show.

[2:22] I'm super excited about it.

[2:24] I cannot wait to talk He-Man

[2:25] with these two He-Men, Stuart and Dan.

[2:28] And maybe we'll have a good time.

[2:30] In fact, I think we know we'll have a good time.

[2:31] So go to theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[2:34] Tickets are going fast.

[2:35] Now, it's the internet.

[2:36] There's infinite space,

[2:37] but I'm still going to act like there's limited supplies.

[2:40] So it's all about digital false scarcity, everybody.

[2:43] Crypto.

[2:43] Come on.

[2:44] Let's go.

[2:45] Theflophouse.simpletix.com.

[2:47] That's Saturday, March 19th.

[2:48] And then a recording for one week afterwards.

[2:50] Come see the show.

[2:51] It's going to be really fun.

[2:52] Stuart, back to you.

Stuart Wellington

[2:53] Okay.

[2:54] So as I mentioned before,

[2:55] this is a Flophouse mini brought to you by Mini's Bar.

[2:57] And here at the Flophouse, we normally watch a bad movie.

Dan McCoy

[3:00] Now, what kind of money are you going to give us for the sponsorship, Stuart?

[3:03] Yeah.

[3:04] Mini's Bar sponsorship.

Stuart Wellington

[3:06] I, well, I'll give you a drink or two.

[3:11] No, Stu, I think.

[3:12] No, that's true.

[3:13] Over the years.

Elliott Kalan

[3:13] I remember you saying that 2020 and 2021 were the two best years in the history of your bar

[3:17] keeping profession.

[3:18] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[3:19] That's true.

[3:20] Yeah.

[3:20] I mean, that's a thing.

[3:22] Like, I mean, just in general, 2020 and 2021 and now 2022, nothing bad is happening.

[3:28] It's only, it's only going up.

[3:30] Only good stuff.

[3:32] Yeah.

[3:33] It's like, it's like, oops, all good stuff.

[3:36] So yeah, that's why, that's why Mini's, you know, you get a little taste here.

[3:40] Diffin' its beak.

[3:41] So normally what we do here on the Flophouse is we interrogate Stuart for promoting his businesses.

[3:48] That's what we do.

[3:49] That's what the podcast is about.

[3:51] We normally watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.

[3:53] But you know what?

[3:54] This is a Flophouse Mini brought to you by Mini's Bar.

[3:56] So we can do whatever the fuck we want.

Elliott Kalan

[3:58] Live show March 19th.

[4:00] Live show March 19th.

[4:01] I just want to, I want to broadcast, I want to advertise something we're all going to get

[4:04] a taste of.

[4:07] Yeah.

[4:07] Seeking parody.

[4:09] It's going to be tough.

[4:10] So.

[4:11] Maniac of New York, the Bronx is burning on comic book shelves now.

Dan McCoy

[4:15] So the.

[4:16] I mean, if you just want to send me cash, I don't have anything to promote.

[4:19] Yeah.

[4:20] Yeah.

[4:23] Sorry.

[4:23] Go on, Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[4:24] So just to pull back the curtain a little bit, open up, open up the robe, if you will.

[4:30] The.

[4:32] My, my DMs are flooded.

[4:34] Okay.

[4:35] On various platforms with people requesting the different topics for the minis.

[4:40] And the one that I get the most, of course, is what we're going to be doing tonight.

[4:44] And that's exactly what we're doing.

[4:47] We are doing two boy talking tube to two dudes tonight.

[4:52] Yeah.

[4:52] Classic.

[4:53] Classic Mini.

[4:54] Now, two boy talking tube to two dudes tonight.

[4:57] Is when I, Stuart, aka two boy, is going to talk about two, that's television, to two dudes.

[5:05] That's Dan and Elliot.

[5:08] Tonight, which is when we're recording it.

[5:10] Because it's not, definitely not wrong.

Elliott Kalan

[5:13] Now, Stuart, can you, can you clear up, is it two boy or is it tube boy?

[5:17] Because you were tube man in the film Psycho Goreman.

Stuart Wellington

[5:20] Yeah.

[5:21] That makes, it's understandable that there's a certain amount of confusion.

[5:25] I, that's, I mean, that's the thing.

[5:27] I'm trying to, like, make it as difficult as possible for people to track me down or understand me.

Elliott Kalan

[5:33] I mean, it makes sense then why your Def Leppard podcast had the hardest to spell title of any podcast in the history of recording.

Stuart Wellington

[5:39] Hmm, cool.

[5:40] Another, another dig at me today.

[5:42] I don't know what's going on.

[5:44] Okay, no, that's fine.

[5:45] Let's, so normally what we do is we talk about a bunch of different TV shows or we talk about, like, TV awards.

[5:53] But tonight we're going to do a hyper focus, okay?

[5:55] We're just going to focus on a single television show.

[5:58] And I want to, specifically I want to talk about a show that I think is kind of of the moment.

[6:03] It's, people are talking about it on Twitter quite a bit.

[6:07] It, and it's like, it's kind of gritty and it, we're dealing with teenagers who are kind of navigating the difficult world of, like, filled with, like, sex and drugs and complicated relationships.

[6:20] So tonight we're going to be talking about euphoria.

[6:23] We're going to be talking about euphoria, the 15th episode of the second season of Beverly Hills 90210.

[6:32] Okay.

[6:32] The episode is.

[6:33] I mean, we're in luck.

[6:34] We're in luck.

[6:35] There it is.

[6:36] There's the other shoe I was waiting for.

[6:38] There's the punchline.

Elliott Kalan

[6:39] We're in luck in that I've seen neither that nor the TV show euphoria.

Stuart Wellington

[6:43] So I'm equally ignorant of whatever we're discussing.

[6:46] And to help me with this, I brought in a expert of Beverly Hills 90210, Alexander Smith, our producer.

[6:55] Hey, Alex, thanks for joining us.

[6:57] Oh, look at him.

Alex Smith

[6:58] He just changed his background to the cast.

[7:02] It's great to be here, guys.

[7:04] What a pleasure.

[7:06] How's it going?

Stuart Wellington

[7:08] Wow.

[7:09] I was expecting a full speech.

[7:11] Coming in hot.

Elliott Kalan

[7:11] Alex is coming in hot.

[7:13] Bringing the energy.

Stuart Wellington

[7:14] We put a lot of energy into the changing of backgrounds, I think.

[7:17] So just to give – on the subject of backgrounds, just to give you kind of an idea, the name euphoria in this case is spelled U, the number four, E, A.

[7:31] Okay?

[7:31] And that is a reference to the – that is the drug, the name of the drug that is basically ecstasy in the Beverly Hills 90210 universe.

[7:42] And it serves as both the title of the episode and it serves as a pretty important plot point.

Dan McCoy

[7:46] So I would like to argue that that would be pronounced euphoria and not euphoria.

[7:57] That's just –

[7:57] That's the argument.

[7:58] It's a small distinction, but it's important.

[8:00] Yeah, it's important.

Alex Smith

[8:01] Euphoria, like the company.

[8:04] Euphoria.

[8:05] Yeah, yeah.

[8:05] Electronic arts.

Stuart Wellington

[8:06] Yeah.

[8:07] That's the argument Dan's having with the dealer and ends up not scoring any.

Dan McCoy

[8:12] Yeah, I'm like four has all of it in there.

[8:15] The number four.

[8:17] You just say that.

Stuart Wellington

[8:17] While Dan's plug rolls his eyes.

Alex Smith

[8:20] Well, actually, Dan, it is funny that you say that because the dealer – the euphoria dealer in the episode is wearing a shirt that just has a number four on it.

[8:30] And that's how you know that you're talking to a euphoria dealer is the giant four on their shirt.

Elliott Kalan

[8:36] Yeah.

[8:37] So like –

[8:37] That is – usually drug dealers do have their branded shirts that they wear to announce to the world.

[8:43] This is my job and what I do and it's handed out by corporate HQ.

Alex Smith

[8:46] Or a trilby with a bright orange band.

[8:49] That's the other way you know you're talking to a drug dealer.

Dan McCoy

[8:52] I guess it works.

[8:53] I guess it works.

[8:53] I take back my objection.

Elliott Kalan

[8:56] Okay.

[8:57] I'll allow it.

[8:58] In the Star Wars universe, you know you're talking to a drug dealer because he has a name like Sleazebago and he's asking you if you want any death sticks.

Stuart Wellington

[9:04] Yeah, if the name wasn't enough, he's specifically doing his job in front of you.

[9:10] And I would imagine in the Beverly Hills 90210 universe, if we were to fast forward to modern times where people use Cash App and Venmo, the symbol would be some kind of four to their drug dealer to indicate that they're Cash App-ing them for euphoria.

[9:26] Right, Alex?

[9:27] For the drug dealer's taxes, so they itemize which drugs the money was for.

[9:31] It's similar to doing like a skier or like a snowflake or something.

[9:35] Oh, is that what you do?

Alex Smith

[9:36] Okay, okay.

[9:37] Like an emoji or something.

[9:40] Yeah.

[9:40] I was thinking like a dollar sign followed by a four, but that just becomes four dollars.

[9:45] That's just four dollars, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[9:46] So now we're at the –

[9:46] Well, you have to send it to them.

[9:47] Now we're at McDonald's.

[9:48] You have to pay whatever the price is, you have to give it to them in four dollar increments.

Stuart Wellington

[9:52] That's how they know what it's for.

[9:53] Which doesn't work out.

[9:54] Well, depending on inflation, I guess, because at the time, back in 1990, a single hit of euphoria would cost you $25.

Alex Smith

[10:01] Which, revisiting that episode, I was very surprised.

[10:04] That seems expensive for that time.

[10:06] But these are kids from Beverly Hills.

[10:08] Yeah, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[10:08] This is a rich neighborhood.

[10:09] I mean, I was watching this with Charlene who also inspired this episode, by the way.

[10:14] Because she was the one who was like, hey, isn't that the name of the drug from 90210?

[10:19] And I'm like, no, it's this thing that I keep getting Twitter memes about.

[10:22] But yeah, in her experience at the time, that would be the cost of one ecstasy.

[10:29] One dose of ecstasy.

[10:31] One ecstasy, sir.

[10:32] I'll take one ecstasy, sir.

Elliott Kalan

[10:34] Yes, bag it.

[10:35] I'll take a paper bag.

[10:36] Thank you.

[10:37] But I understand why you think it would be expensive.

[10:40] But it's an expensive neighborhood.

[10:41] As this title tells us, the monthly rent in Beverly Hills was $9,210, which is a lot of money for monthly rent.

[10:47] A lot.

[10:48] Especially in 1990, yeah.

Alex Smith

[10:50] Yeah.

[10:50] And you knew you were talking to your landlord if they had 90210 on their shirt.

[10:55] Yes, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[10:55] All the landlords had to wear it.

[10:57] People forget that back then, before the end of the Reagan-Bush revolution, it was legal law that everyone had to wear a shirt that denoted what their occupation was.

[11:07] Which made it very easy to round up drug dealers.

[11:09] It's why the war on drugs was won, and we no longer have to fight it anymore.

Stuart Wellington

[11:15] Before we get into the meat of this episode, Alex, can you explain a little bit about your bona fides?

[11:23] The boot.

[11:25] As a Beverly Hills 90210 expert?

Alex Smith

[11:30] As an expert.

[11:30] My bona fides.

[11:32] Yeah, please.

[11:33] Well, I will say I was a fan of this show from the first episode.

[11:38] I watched it the entire run, and it was a long run.

[11:42] It's a 10-season show, and I've watched it all the way through many, many times since then.

Stuart Wellington

[11:48] I feel like back in college, you were still, like, catching it on the release day.

[11:53] Like, you were watching it.

[11:54] Oh, yeah.

[11:55] Because you couldn't, like, catch it on Hulu.

Alex Smith

[11:56] Yeah, it was my regular Wednesday watch on, back, even in college when they had moved on to, I don't know, be boring adults with jobs and stuff.

[12:07] Uh-huh.

[12:08] That I still watched it, you know, pretty religiously throughout that entire time.

Elliott Kalan

[12:12] Did any of them ever graduate to being a Melrose Place?

[12:17] Like, did they ever, was it ever, like, when a new mutant becomes a member of the X-Men, they're like, you did it, you graduated, you're going from Beverly Hills 90210 to Melrose Place.

[12:24] Now you live in a steamy apartment complex in L.A.

Alex Smith

[12:28] There is a crossover, they introduced Melrose Place by, uh, uh, they introduced the character that takes you to Melrose Place, initially was a guest star on 90210.

[12:39] Oh.

[12:40] And dated Kelly.

Elliott Kalan

[12:40] Was it that during the episode of Beverly Hills 90210, he went to the camera and went, psst, psst, come with me, I'm going to take you somewhere.

[12:45] And the camera followed him over to Melrose Place.

Alex Smith

[12:47] That would have been a great transition.

[12:49] They absolutely should have done that.

[12:51] Like, whisper to the camera and, like, drag you down the street to Melrose Place.

[12:57] Yeah.

[12:57] Oh, that would have been so good.

[12:59] I don't believe they did anything like that.

[13:01] But, you know.

Elliott Kalan

[13:01] This is going to be a real tangent.

[13:03] I wanted to go off on a slight mispronunciation that Stuart had earlier where he, uh, he was, he was saying Hulu, but for a moment he said Hulu.

[13:10] And maybe think of, like, Jacques Titi guest starring on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210.

[13:15] And, Dan, what would that be like?

[13:17] Give us a taste of what that would be like.

Dan McCoy

[13:21] Well, it's mostly, um, you know, Monsieur Hulot is, uh, pretty.

[13:27] Uh, you know, dialogue free.

[13:29] So just imagine that I'm doing a bunch of sort of intricate, uh, slapstick that's more whimsical than it is funny.

[13:38] Like, you're never going to really laugh at me, but, uh, you're going to say, oh, I see.

[13:43] That was kind of interesting.

[13:44] Um, Alex, who's your favorite 90210?

[13:50] Which, which one is your top?

[13:52] I was, I was a Brandon guy.

Alex Smith

[13:54] Still am.

[13:55] Brandon.

[13:55] Still really am a Brandon guy.

[13:56] Which one is he?

[13:57] Was that?

[13:57] That's Jason Priestley.

[13:59] Oh, okay.

[13:59] Yeah, Brandon Walsh.

[14:00] Yeah.

[14:01] And I, I feel like he is the emotional and moral core of the show, I think.

[14:07] Um.

Stuart Wellington

[14:08] That's why this is such an emotional episode, because he's, you know, uh, he goes through some tough times.

Alex Smith

[14:13] He, he does.

[14:14] He, he changes dramatically from a guy who's not high into a guy who's high.

[14:19] Very high, yeah.

[14:20] And it ruins his relationship with everyone in his life.

Elliott Kalan

[14:25] Uh.

[14:26] So would you call, would you, would you classify this as a very special episode?

[14:29] Was this an episode with a message for our nation's youth?

[14:31] Well, that was the thing.

Stuart Wellington

[14:32] Like, I feel like at this time, a lot of 90210 episodes were kind of like ripped from the headlines, very special episodes.

[14:39] Mm-hmm.

Alex Smith

[14:39] Yes.

[14:40] Season one of 90210, it was an issue show specifically.

[14:43] Like, every episode has a, deals with a, you know, some kind of PSA topic, uh, or teen, uh, teen issue.

Stuart Wellington

[14:52] Something for teens to talk to their parents about over breakfast for, like, five hours is what it seems like they do.

[14:58] A water cooler at home.

[14:58] I mean, many homes do have water coolers.

[15:00] We have a Culligan water cooler when I was growing up.

[15:03] Yeah.

[15:04] I just outed myself as a Richie, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[15:07] No, no, for a while we had, uh, a water cooler too.

[15:10] Like, Eureka water.

[15:13] I don't want to throw any shade at my hometown, but Eureka water tasted gross.

[15:19] So we got a lot of...

Elliott Kalan

[15:20] Describe that taste.

[15:21] Give me, give me, talk, check it up.

[15:23] Tell me what notes you were detecting.

[15:25] I would say sulfurous.

[15:25] Yeah.

[15:26] Eggs.

Dan McCoy

[15:27] For the notes.

[15:28] Yeah.

[15:29] Okay.

[15:29] So like a liquid fart.

Alex Smith

[15:30] Let's get, let's get into the meat of this episode.

[15:31] I'm trying to, this is, this is complicated.

[15:34] I think maybe Elliot has the talent to get us there, but there's some kind of connection

[15:38] between euphoria where the four is like, you're being brought to a euphoric state and Eureka

[15:47] water where the water reeks.

[15:49] I don't know.

[15:50] I don't have the skills.

Elliott Kalan

[15:51] I mean, if it's sulfurous, I would call it euphardia.

Stuart Wellington

[15:54] Maybe.

[15:55] There we go.

[15:56] All right.

[15:57] Oh, that's great.

[15:58] So the episode begins, we're introduced to Brandon Walsh and his girlfriend, Emily.

[16:04] They're dating.

[16:05] They're ready to make the next step and move into each other's lockers.

[16:09] So they of course decide to go to...

Elliott Kalan

[16:11] Really weird.

[16:12] Wait, is that a thing that teenagers do?

[16:14] Like you're, cause when I was in high school, my locker was assigned to me by the school.

[16:18] Like I didn't get to, I didn't have to find one and then pay rent on it.

Stuart Wellington

[16:21] Well, they, they have their, they have their own lockers, but they're going to make space,

[16:25] like make a shelf for the other person.

[16:28] Oh, I see.

[16:28] I mean, okay, hold on.

Elliott Kalan

[16:31] Dan, this is a real thing that kids do.

Dan McCoy

[16:34] This makes sense in real life, you know, like adult life, not real life.

[16:39] I mean, teen's life is real.

[16:41] I'm sorry.

[16:41] Adult life.

[16:42] It makes sense to, you know, clear out a shelf or a drawer or whatever and be like, I'm

[16:49] going to have a change of clothes over here for like when we spend the night because we

[16:55] live.

[16:55] Yeah.

[16:56] In different places.

[16:57] We're going to have time away.

[16:58] Right.

[16:58] I don't like, this is just sheer laziness.

[17:00] If you're like, uh, can I leave my, my math, uh, textbook in here so I don't have to walk,

[17:06] uh, down the hall.

Stuart Wellington

[17:07] It's a gesture like a promise ring, I think.

Alex Smith

[17:09] Yeah.

[17:09] There's two, two critical pieces of information here.

[17:12] I think they're important.

[17:13] One is in the, in the universe of the show, Brandon is a very eager student.

[17:18] He's, you know, he's like a, he's, he's very, very, he's a very good student, a very enthusiastic

[17:23] student.

[17:23] And the idea is that he, he had complained at some time to Emily about not having enough

[17:28] room in his locker for all of his books because he's so smart or whatever.

[17:33] Uh, and then the other thing that you got to remember about 90210 in general is that

[17:36] it is a show about 16 year olds played by 30 year olds written by.

[17:42] Written by 50 year olds who make very little effort to actually figure out, to actually

[17:47] get into the mind of a teenager.

[17:48] Like they, you, you get the feeling throughout this whole show that if they could just take

[17:53] the parents out and just put these people in an apartment and give them a day job, they

[17:57] would do it immediately.

[17:58] So this is clearly just them trying to figure out a way to be like, well, what's a good

[18:04] analog to them moving in together?

[18:08] Oh, well they have a locker at school.

[18:10] So we'll do that.

Elliott Kalan

[18:11] I want to tell a story about grownups because I'm a grownup, but I'm stuck on this stupid

[18:16] show about teens.

[18:17] So how do I make my grownup story be about teens?

Stuart Wellington

[18:20] Uh, so, um, they're trying to make the next step.

[18:23] So they decide to go, uh, on a date to a cool, like floating all ages party, uh, where you,

[18:30] you know, you find the location from a special person and it'll, then you'll go to the secret

[18:35] party.

[18:36] And of course the rest of the game.

[18:37] Like an elf.

[18:38] Yeah.

[18:38] Kind of like that.

[18:38] Yeah, sure.

[18:39] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:39] Sure.

[18:39] Um, and the rest of the, the rest of the gang finds out.

[18:43] And though they have their reservations about Emily, cause she's not a core cast member,

[18:47] right?

[18:47] Alex.

[18:47] She's just kind of like, she's the bad girl.

[18:49] Who's Brandon's new brand's new girlfriend.

Alex Smith

[18:51] At this point, I think she had been in eight episodes, but she has, but she and, and Brandon

[18:56] have become very serious by it.

[18:58] Well, as we now know, because of the locker thing.

[19:00] Yeah.

[19:01] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[19:01] Um, so the rest of the gang find out about, they're all going to go even further and they

Elliott Kalan

[19:05] were like, I'm ready to go to the next step.

[19:07] Can you keep a little space in your pocket for my change?

[19:10] So that in case I need it and I'm far from my pocket, I can get it from your pocket.

[19:14] Yeah.

[19:14] This is a big step.

Dan McCoy

[19:15] Why would you be far from your pocket?

[19:17] Now I don't understand.

Elliott Kalan

[19:18] It's a metaphor, Dan, but maybe it's, maybe it's in a different pair of pants.

[19:21] I don't, you're in your gym clothes.

[19:22] Maybe.

Alex Smith

[19:23] Your jean pocket is closer to my heart than my jean pocket is to my hand is the kind of

[19:29] romantic thing you can say.

Dan McCoy

[19:31] I like to use my letter.

[19:32] Well, you're taller than I am, so I would have to reach down less low.

Stuart Wellington

[19:36] Well, and in a, and in a cis relationship, I don't think we even need to start talking

[19:40] about the tyranny of pockets, about how women's clothes often don't feature enough

[19:44] pockets.

[19:45] That's true.

Elliott Kalan

[19:45] Or if they do have pockets, the pockets are decorative.

Stuart Wellington

[19:47] They're not actually functional.

[19:49] Okay.

[19:49] So there's an interesting element about this party is that the way that you get your, you

[19:56] get to it is you have to take an egg to a corner store, a specific corner store, and you give

[20:04] the egg to the, the person running the store and he will give you the directions.

[20:09] I did see this episode.

Elliott Kalan

[20:10] I did see this episode because I remember them with the egg offering it to strangers thinking

[20:15] that that's how they get the directions to the party.

[20:18] Oh, I did see this.

Alex Smith

[20:19] Steve and Andrea famously.

[20:21] I think this scene is one of the more iconic early scenes from 90210 where Steve and Andrea

[20:27] go to the wrong store.

[20:29] Yeah.

[20:29] And Steve is trying to, in a very, very great comic performance from Ian Ziering, he is trying

[20:36] to exchange an egg with a lady who has no idea what she, what he's talking about and threatens

[20:40] to call the cops on them and they have to run out.

[20:43] So that's a scene a lot of people have, I think I've seen.

Stuart Wellington

[20:46] But before we get to that, our characters have to get ready for the party.

[20:49] It's a Friday night.

[20:50] They all decide to lie to their parents, which is tough because, you know, they are dressed

[20:55] to go out.

[20:56] They're all wearing all black.

[20:58] Shannon Doherty is wearing a Canadian tuxedo that is decidedly not black, but everybody else

[21:02] is wearing, is wearing, I guess, party clothes.

[21:05] And Andrea, Andrea, Andrea is of course, Andrea is dressed like Elaine Bennis, like she is always

[21:12] dressed.

Elliott Kalan

[21:15] And Elaine Bennis was dressed like a woman from the 1940s much of the time.

Alex Smith

[21:20] Well, and they, they do the thing where, uh, with Andrea, they, the reason she wants to

[21:25] go to this underground rave party, because she's such an adult, she's so much more of an

[21:30] adult than her, uh, than her friends.

Stuart Wellington

[21:33] Because the actress is 12 years older than, uh, than Tori Spelling.

[21:37] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[21:37] I have to admit, when I saw the show as a kid, I thought she was supposed to be a grownup for

[21:41] a lot of the run.

[21:42] Yeah.

[21:42] She seemed.

[21:43] I thought that, and I thought it was weird.

[21:44] She was hanging out with these high school students who also seemed like a teacher or something.

[21:48] Yeah.

[21:48] I thought she was a teacher.

Dan McCoy

[21:49] See, uh, and the weird thing is the rare times I saw this show, like she was the one

[21:53] that I had a crush on.

[21:55] Yeah.

[21:55] Doesn't surprise me.

Alex Smith

[21:57] Yeah.

[21:57] I mean, Andrea is great.

[21:59] And that, but she, the way she convinces herself that she needs to go to this rave is because

[22:03] there might be a breaking story.

[22:06] Because she runs the school newspaper.

[22:09] Makes sense to me.

[22:10] And she, oh my God, it's, well, Stuart, continue.

Stuart Wellington

[22:14] So they lie to their various parents, except for Kelly, who tells her, uh, hot, uh, well-dressed

[22:19] mom that she, she tells her the truth.

[22:22] Wow.

[22:23] I mean, her mom.

Elliott Kalan

[22:24] Wow, okay.

[22:24] Her mom can get it, dude.

[22:26] You say this as if it's a surprise that her mom would be hot and well-dressed.

[22:29] Yeah.

[22:30] Yeah, these key, key plot points to that.

[22:31] She's got this real, like, business bitch attitude.

Stuart Wellington

[22:34] I'm all about it.

[22:35] Yeah, yeah.

Alex Smith

[22:36] So, yeah, Kelly's mom is Stuart's type for sure.

Stuart Wellington

[22:39] Yeah, yeah.

[22:40] I'm like, oh, why isn't she stepping on my neck?

[22:42] Um, so.

[22:45] Okay.

[22:47] I'm like, I demand this to happen.

[22:50] Uh, so Kelly tells her mom.

[22:52] She's a character in a TV show for one thing.

[22:53] But anyway, continue.

[22:54] So, uh, Kelly, uh, has a relationship with her mom that she believes she can tell her

[22:59] mom anything.

[23:00] And as long as she's being honest, her mom will let her do it.

[23:03] Uh, not so much in this instance because her mom knows that she is potentially going to

[23:07] an illegal underground rave party.

[23:10] So she tells her no.

[23:11] So Kelly's like, okay, I guess I won't go and puts a bathrobe on over her dress and sits

[23:16] in bed until the moment her mom leaves and then immediately takes that bathrobe off, uh,

[23:21] and sneaks out.

Alex Smith

[23:22] Real quick as an aside, Kelly's mom had a coke addiction in season one that Kelly helped

[23:27] her get through.

[23:28] So they have a very, they're very tight knit.

[23:30] They have a very tight knit relationship at this point.

[23:32] But so that's why Kelly thinks she can do what basically whatever she wants.

[23:35] But the, the, uh, Kelly's mom has also been to a lot of these types of parties and says,

[23:40] no, there's drugs at those parties.

[23:42] I don't want you going.

Stuart Wellington

[23:42] Yeah.

[23:42] And she's got that kind of like super tight blonde haircut and big shoulder pads that make

[23:47] you think of a cocaine dealer's girlfriend.

Dan McCoy

[23:49] Now I, I, I, I want to take a break.

[23:53] You know, the shoulder pads are how you know.

[23:57] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[23:57] Because that's what they do the coke off of.

[23:58] You just, you just lay out a line on that shoulder pad and then snort it out.

Alex Smith

[24:03] So like the, like the helmet with the beer cans on it that you wear at the stadium.

[24:07] Exactly.

[24:08] It's shoulder pads with two lines on each shoulder pad with little straws that go up to your nose.

[24:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:14] Little dollar, like rolled up dollar bills that go right into your nose.

[24:17] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[24:18] Also, I want to give a tip to all teens out there who like, you know, are wanting to sneak

[24:23] out.

[24:24] If you're going to pull this robe trick, you have to lay the track for it ahead of time.

[24:29] You have to establish yourself as a robe wearing person because otherwise your parent is just

[24:35] going to be like, why are you hanging out in that robe?

[24:37] You know?

[24:38] So just.

[24:39] That's a good point.

[24:39] You got to play the long con.

[24:40] Yeah.

[24:40] You're trying to do a.

[24:41] That's a tip for teen from Dan.

Stuart Wellington

[24:42] Another Dan teen tip.

[24:44] Um, okay.

[24:45] But you can't.

[24:46] You don't get magazines.

[24:47] Tips for teens.

Elliott Kalan

[24:48] Sorry, Elliot.

[24:48] Go ahead.

[24:49] No, I was just making a reference to a spark song.

[24:50] Continue, Alex.

Alex Smith

[24:51] I was going to say, you can't establish yourself as too much of a robe person because they might

[24:55] think, oh, he's just going to go out in his robe.

[24:57] Like, like he usually does.

[24:59] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[24:59] Like the big Lebowski or the dude Lebowski, I guess.

[25:01] Yeah.

[25:02] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[25:02] So.

[25:03] Yeah.

[25:03] Not the big one.

[25:04] No, the big one does not go out in his robe.

[25:06] Like in the dude size.

[25:08] I'm not that hungry.

Stuart Wellington

[25:09] I went to a, I went to a big and dude store.

[25:16] A lot of cargo shorts there.

Elliott Kalan

[25:17] I'd imagine.

[25:18] Um, yeah, for sure.

[25:20] It's all cargo shorts and three piece suits.

[25:23] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[25:28] Okay.

[25:28] So they, they all, the gang all meets up at the peach bit except for Andrea and Steve

[25:33] because, uh, as we learn later, uh, Steve is meeting Andrea's grandmother and they are

[25:39] held up.

[25:40] Um, they.

Alex Smith

[25:42] Yeah.

[25:42] Apparently, uh, apparently Andrea's, Andrea's grandmother makes a really good chopped liver.

[25:46] Yeah.

[25:46] And Steve would, there's this scene that I really wish was in it.

[25:50] Yes.

[25:51] Where Steve was apparently just begging for more and more chopped liver over at Andrea's grandmother.

[25:56] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[25:58] Yeah.

[25:58] He keeps cleaning his plate and then saying more.

[26:01] Yeah.

[26:01] Like that's why they're late is because he wouldn't stop eating.

[26:05] He keeps saying if you insist.

[26:08] Uh, and she's like, I don't insist.

[26:10] I'm almost out.

[26:11] And I was planning on eating this all week.

Elliott Kalan

[26:13] I was having, I was hoping to have some also, but yeah, eat the rest of it.

[26:17] She's, she's desperately in the kitchen chopping more liver to keep his rabbit excited.

[26:22] Uh, she's got to go find more liver somewhere.

Dan McCoy

[26:24] This is a road to intestinal distress of some kind.

Elliott Kalan

[26:28] She's, she's, it's late.

[26:29] The stores are closed.

[26:30] She has to get more liver.

[26:31] She's breaking into a grocery store to get liver to chop it up for Steve.

Alex Smith

[26:36] It's a real, uh, it's a real little shop of horrors situation with Steve.

[26:40] Little shop of livers.

Dan McCoy

[26:42] Yeah.

[26:42] Wait a minute.

[26:43] You have a liver.

[26:44] I'll take yours.

[26:46] I should have said little chop of livers.

Stuart Wellington

[26:48] Anyway, continue, Stuart.

[26:48] So, uh, the gang's all there.

[26:50] They're dressed all in black, which is what you wear when you go to a rave.

[26:53] They look out of place for the peach pit because that's just their regular local hang.

[26:57] And we find out that Brandon has to be back early the next morning for his shift.

[27:01] Uh, so they get the directions.

[27:03] They leave extra directions for Andrea and Steve.

[27:07] And they, uh, go to a, uh, they go downtown to a corner store where they exchange an egg with the somewhat bewildered man behind the, or like scared man.

[27:22] He's got, he's, he plays the scene very strangely.

[27:25] Um, uh, the, the guy.

Alex Smith

[27:27] I'm not, I'm not sure what his, I think it's just supposed to be mysterious.

[27:29] Like they're not sure the egg exchange is going to work.

Dan McCoy

[27:32] Now you say exchange an egg.

[27:34] Does he hand them an egg in return?

[27:37] That would make sense.

Stuart Wellington

[27:38] They keep saying exchange an egg, but that's not what they're.

[27:41] Yeah.

[27:42] That's, they don't get an egg back.

Alex Smith

[27:43] But I think, I think exchange an egg makes sense because they walk in with an egg.

[27:46] Okay.

[27:47] They hand the egg to the guy behind the counter.

[27:50] And he then asked them for $10, which in my headcanon, he, that he just made that up.

[27:54] He's like, I'm taking, I'm taking $10.

Elliott Kalan

[27:56] He saw that these are newbies and he's like, you know what?

[27:59] I'll get an extra 10.

[28:00] I'll get an extra 10 on top of this.

Alex Smith

[28:01] But, but he doesn't take 10 bucks from all of them.

[28:04] He only takes one 10 bucks for the whole group.

[28:06] So I think he's got some room to grow.

Elliott Kalan

[28:08] He's got modest goals.

[28:09] He says, I'll get $10 from these kids.

[28:11] I'll use you to buy a ticket to the Flophouse live show, March 19th.

[28:14] That's 9 PM Eastern, 6 PM Pacific.

[28:16] Just go to the flophouse.com slash simple ticks and or slop hash.

[28:20] Sorry.

[28:21] I got the, the flop hash.

[28:23] I can go for it.

Alex Smith

[28:24] That's what Steve's eating over at Andrea's grandmother's house.

[28:27] Go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

Elliott Kalan

[28:30] Theflophouse.simpleticks.com.

[28:32] And he buys that ticket.

[28:32] And yeah, get yourself a big bowl of slop hash.

[28:35] Eat it during the show.

[28:36] We don't care.

Dan McCoy

[28:37] We can't smell it through the screen.

[28:38] That's the beauty of it.

[28:39] You could be in a robe eating slop hash in your own home.

[28:43] You could be just, you could just have it.

[28:44] The government can't tell you not to do that.

Elliott Kalan

[28:47] Grandma's just chomping away at that slop hash in the kitchen, putting it in a tube that goes straight to your mouth.

[28:52] You're in a robe.

[28:52] You can watch the show.

[28:54] Go for it.

[28:55] No dress code.

[28:55] Don't have to dress up in black.

Stuart Wellington

[28:57] The, uh, and another, uh, important plot point is that this is when David buys a flask of whiskey and everybody gives him shit for it.

[29:08] And he's like, somebody can enjoy a little bit of alcohol and not be an alcoholic.

[29:12] And I'm like, uh, that's what an alcoholic's going to say.

[29:15] Um, and which we will find out later.

[29:17] He, his character, I believe develops a drinking problem, right?

Alex Smith

[29:21] I mean, do you mean in the, in the episode itself?

[29:23] No, over the course of the next couple episodes.

[29:25] Cause he definitely has a drinking problem in the, over the course of the episode.

[29:28] Yeah.

[29:29] Um, uh, David has a, uh, David develops a drug problem later in the series.

[29:35] I'm trying to remember.

[29:35] They all have, uh, uh, it's at some point the show liked to introduce them to different dependency issues, but I, I, I can, I can remember David's drug problem, but I'm spacing over it.

Elliott Kalan

[29:46] There was that one, there was that season where Tori Spelling just keeps buying Beanie Babies on eBay and she's spending way too much on it.

Dan McCoy

[29:53] I, I love the delicacy with which you put that.

[29:55] At some point the show likes to introduce them to various dependency issues.

[30:01] Like, oh, uh, Kelly, um, have you met, uh, I compulsive, uh, shopping?

[30:07] Yeah.

Alex Smith

[30:08] No, that is how they, that is how the show works.

[30:10] And that, that, cause the, I mentioned earlier that season one was like an issue show where each show covered like a different thing.

[30:17] And this is, we're right in the middle of them transitioning the show into more of like a soap opera, like a teen soap opera, um, where it's all serial plot lines and stuff.

[30:27] And the, um, and this, this is kind of a hybrid of the two.

[30:31] This is why this is kind of the best era of the show is because they're doing an issue show, but there's all these, like, uh, all these long, longer storylines going on.

Stuart Wellington

[30:41] So the gang, uh, follows the directions and the directions bring them to a warehouse party in downtown.

[30:50] And speaking of things that are brought to you by things, the show is brought to you by something.

Dan McCoy

[30:57] You know what?

[30:58] You said that, you said you did do it, you'd handle it.

[31:01] And you did, Stu.

[31:03] Good.

[31:04] An extra, you get an extra serving of slop hash afterwards.

[31:08] Aw, man.

Alex Smith

[31:09] It is incredible to see a pro just stick the landing that, that hard.

S5

[31:19] Um, hi, I'm looking for a movie.

[31:21] Oh, I gotcha.

[31:22] Uh, there's that new foreign film with the time travel.

Stuart Wellington

[31:25] There's an amazing documentary about queer history on streaming.

Dan McCoy

[31:28] Have I told you about this classic where giant robots fight?

Stuart Wellington

[31:31] Or there's that one that most critics hated, but I thought was actually pretty good.

S5

[31:34] Ooh, I know.

[31:35] The one with the huge car chase, and then there's that scene where-

[31:39] The car jumps over the submarine.

[31:41] Wow, who are you eclectic movie experts?

[31:44] Well, I'm Evie Wadiwe.

Stuart Wellington

[31:45] I'm Drea Clark.

[31:45] And I'm Alonzo Duralde.

[31:47] And together, we host the movie podcast, Maximum Film.

S5

[31:50] New episodes every week on MaximumFun.org.

Stuart Wellington

[31:53] And you actually just walked into our recording booth.

S5

[31:56] Oh, weird.

[31:56] Sorry.

[31:57] I thought this was a video store.

[31:59] You seem like a lady with a lot of problems.

S7

[32:03] Well, Manolo, we have a show to promote.

[32:07] It's called Dr. Game Show.

S6

[32:08] It's a family-friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from

[32:13] around the world.

S7

[32:15] Oh, sounds good.

[32:16] New episodes happen every other Wednesday on MaximumFun.org.

S6

[32:20] It's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete.

[32:27] Are you writing a poem?

[32:28] No, I'm just saying things from my memory.

[32:32] And it's a nice break from reality.

[32:36] Are we allowed to say that?

S7

[32:38] It sounds bad.

S6

[32:39] It comes with a 100% happiness guarantee.

[32:42] It does not.

S7

[32:43] Come for the games and stay for the chaos.

Dan McCoy

[32:48] The Flophouse is sponsored in part by LumiLabs.

[32:53] You may have heard about microdosing.

[32:56] If you look around on the internet, you can find all sorts of people are microdosing to feel

[33:02] healthier and perform better.

[33:05] Well, our show, you guessed it, is sponsored by microdose gummies from LumiLabs.

[33:12] Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry-level doses of THC that help you feel just the right

[33:19] amount of good.

[33:20] And in my experience, that is what they are.

[33:23] They do not serve to impair you, so you cannot function as a human being.

[33:28] They just make you feel more relaxed and happier, and so you can sort of handle maybe the ups

[33:39] and downs.

[33:39] You can chill out a bit, get some better sleep.

[33:43] Anyway, microdose is available nationwide.

[33:46] To learn more about microdosing THC, just do a quick search online or go to microdosegummies.com

[33:54] and use code FLOP, that's F-L-O-P, to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

[34:02] Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is microdosegummies.com and

[34:09] code FLOP.

[34:12] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[34:13] Looks like I got a j-j-j-jumbotron!

[34:16] Looking for a totally scarifying, spooktacular read?

[34:21] MaxFun member and indie horror novelist, Nick J.

[34:25] DuPont's debut novel, Cat's Blood, is available now.

[34:30] Join a brilliant young mother as she struggles to protect her son in this award-winning tale

[34:35] of dread.

[34:37] Kindle version is only $7.99.

[34:40] Special bonus for FLOP fans, Nick has had a letter read on the FLOP house!

[34:46] First person to message him on Twitter with the correct letter and episode will receive

[34:51] a free signed copy.

[34:54] Visit NickJDupont.com today.

[34:59] Visit NickJDupont.com.

Elliott Kalan

[35:02] And we have another jumbotron.

[35:04] This is a personal jumbotron.

[35:05] This is a message for Connor, last name withheld, and the message is from Deming.

[35:10] And the message goes like this.

[35:11] Connor, spending Saturday mornings eating breakfast in bed and listening to the Flop Boys

[35:15] with you is one of my favorite activities, including things we used to do pre-pandemic.

[35:19] Happy Saturday to my favorite person, including parasocial podcast people.

[35:23] I love, admire, and appreciate you.

[35:25] Let me know if you need your coffee reheated.

[35:28] What a sweet message.

[35:28] That was really nice.

Dan McCoy

[35:29] That's nice.

[35:30] They got a little tradition.

Elliott Kalan

[35:32] Yeah.

[35:33] Dan, how can other people send sweet, sweet messages through the jumbotron?

Dan McCoy

[35:37] Well, if you go to maximumfun.com slash jumbotron, you can arrange one.

[35:50] It comes through the network.

[35:52] They'll handle that end of it.

[35:53] But you can pay $100 for a personal message, $200 for a business message.

[35:59] Again, that's at maximumfun.org slash jumbotron.

[36:04] I'm sorry.

[36:05] That very obvious question took me by surprise.

Elliott Kalan

[36:09] Now, I liked the way that you said it reminded me of how Alex described them introducing the

[36:13] 90210 cast members to vices, I guess, to dependencies.

[36:17] You said that if you go to that website, they can arrange one.

[36:22] Very discreetly.

[36:24] There will be someone.

Dan McCoy

[36:26] Your jumbotron will come in a plain brown paper wrapper.

Alex Smith

[36:31] You will have a guide to take you through the experience.

[36:34] I wonder.

[36:35] I want to know.

[36:36] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[36:36] On your credit card report, it shows up as something else entirely.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] It shows up as like message.com or something like that.

Alex Smith

[36:44] I want to know what the closest someone has gotten to sneaking a business message in as a personal

[36:52] message.

[36:53] That's a good question.

[36:54] There's got to be an art form to that, to figuring out how to make it seem entirely like a...

Elliott Kalan

[36:59] Because you can't sneak it too much or else people listening won't understand that it's

[37:02] for a product.

Stuart Wellington

[37:03] Yeah, that's true.

[37:06] Okay.

[37:06] So while we ponder that question, our gang is now in a really cool warehouse rave.

[37:14] Now, while we were watching this episode, the music sounded really kind of wank.

[37:23] And so I looked it up and apparently there was a...

[37:26] Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[37:28] Bad thing.

[37:28] I'm not sure what that was.

[37:29] It was not good.

Alex Smith

[37:31] Wank versus dank.

[37:33] Thank you.

[37:33] Wank is the bad one.

[37:35] Exactly.

[37:35] And so dank is good.

[37:36] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[37:36] Yeah.

[37:37] I'm just trying to...

[37:37] Like, just like 90210, I'm just trying to keep you old people up to snuff with what

[37:42] the kids are talking about.

[37:44] Snuff.

[37:45] Snuff and the kids are...

[37:47] The thing is I'm also drinking...

[37:50] Just trying to keep everybody on the 411.

[37:52] I'm also drinking quite a bit and I'm speaking before I think about it.

[37:57] So apparently when these episodes originally aired, there was music by the Thompson Twins

[38:02] and fucking Sisters of Mercy in this scene.

[38:05] That was not the case in, I guess, what, in syndication or I have no idea when the change

[38:12] would have happened.

Alex Smith

[38:13] I think they...

[38:14] No, if you watch them in syndication, they still have all the good music in it.

[38:18] If you get the DVDs or you watch them on streaming sites, they have a bunch of soundalike and

[38:25] fill-in music instead of...

[38:28] They have the hits of the day playing in all of these scenes.

[38:31] It's a big show, you know?

[38:33] It's a big show.

Elliott Kalan

[38:34] Yeah.

[38:34] It was a huge show.

[38:35] And as always happens, I'm sure, like, they negotiate the rights for a particular type

[38:40] of broadcast, not realizing there will be other ways that people will watch it.

[38:44] Now, I think producers are a little more savvy about that.

[38:47] But at the time, it was like...

[38:49] The same way that, like, with WKRP in Cincinnati, they would play all these current hits.

[38:53] Right.

[38:53] And it's like, well, no one's going to see these shows again.

[38:55] Sure.

[38:56] Throw the songs in.

[38:57] We don't need them for the future.

Dan McCoy

[38:58] And that's why you cannot even now get, like, unedited versions of that series.

[39:03] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[39:04] It's too bad people say, I want to see a full episode of What Grow Up in Cincinnati, and

[39:07] I can't find it.

[39:08] And I'm like, I got some news for you about how to pronounce the title.

Alex Smith

[39:11] I've got two bad newses.

Elliott Kalan

[39:14] Two bad newses.

[39:15] That's how you say it.

[39:16] Just like the bad newses bears.

Alex Smith

[39:17] Yep.

[39:19] The most disappointing example of that, to me, is the State.

[39:23] When the State DVD finally came out, the $240 worth of pudding sketch, they couldn't

[39:30] use sexual healing in that.

[39:32] So they had to replace the music.

[39:34] But it was a live recording with the music playing in the studio.

[39:38] So they had to also overdub the voices again.

[39:41] So you watch that scene, it's got a sound-alike track, and they're clearly also overdubbed for

[39:47] the entire thing.

[39:48] With older voices.

[39:49] Yeah.

[39:50] Yeah.

[39:50] With their voices, like, you know, from when the DVDs came out.

[39:54] So it's very weird.

[39:56] And yeah, but that's, I mean, that was an MTV show.

[39:58] So they obviously would have had the rights to everything.

[40:01] So at the time.

Stuart Wellington

[40:02] So this club, you know, is cool because there's a lot of people with tattoos and interesting

[40:07] hairstyles.

[40:09] Our gang kind of stands out because they're all, you know, they're dressed a little preppy.

[40:13] They all are dressed like they're going to like a really cool funeral.

[40:16] Except for Dylan.

[40:18] Brenda is wearing, you know, denim on denim.

[40:20] And Dylan is wearing two denim jackets, one underneath the other.

Elliott Kalan

[40:25] Wow.

[40:26] Yeah.

[40:26] They call that a Matryoshka Canadian tuxedo.

[40:29] Yeah.

[40:30] Quite a fit, as the kids would say.

[40:33] Now, yeah, so this rave, where would you put it on the scale from one, meaning a matrix

[40:38] rave, to ten, meaning the rave from pusher one?

[40:43] Where is it?

[40:44] Is it more of a matrix rave where there's just like sweat flying everywhere and everyone is

[40:48] wearing like leather?

[40:49] Or is it more of a pusher rave where everyone's kind of vaguely Danish, Scandinavian, and there's

[40:54] a lot of people just dancing weird dance moves by themselves in corners?

Stuart Wellington

[40:58] I don't understand this scale at all.

Elliott Kalan

[41:00] I would say in the middle.

[41:01] The exact midpoint.

Stuart Wellington

[41:03] Somewhere between a rave where the charmed ones would show up in an episode of Charmed

[41:09] or Blade would show up and be killing all the vamps.

Elliott Kalan

[41:13] Okay, because that was my other, that was, okay, another scale.

[41:16] Is it on a scale from one, which is vampire rave, where blood is spreading, or to ten,

[41:21] which is the monster dance party in Little Monsters starring Fred Savage.

[41:26] Where does it land on that?

Stuart Wellington

[41:28] Okay, I would say it's closer to a vampire rave.

Alex Smith

[41:32] Okay.

[41:33] So, what I'll say, if this helps pinpoint it at all, is every time I see this scene, here's

[41:39] what I think.

[41:39] Because they walk in and they say, one of them says something like, I don't think we're in

[41:44] Kansas anymore.

[41:45] Again, a great thing for teenagers to be saying to each other.

[41:49] And then another one.

Elliott Kalan

[41:52] Except that was much more current in 1990 when that was only a 51-year-old reference, as

[41:56] opposed to now when it's an almost 90-year-old reference.

Stuart Wellington

[41:58] There was probably around the time that Dylan calls David Rico Suave twice.

[42:04] He says it twice in the episode.

[42:06] Yeah, because he's drunk.

Alex Smith

[42:08] Yeah, because, yeah, David's already drunk.

[42:10] He's, you know, he's embraced that lifestyle already.

[42:15] Okay, so wait.

Elliott Kalan

[42:15] I've got a different scale for the raves.

[42:17] Is it like a one, which would be the cantina, the Mos Eisley cantina, to a ten, which would

[42:22] be not Jabba's pleasure barge, but the droid torture room in Jabba's palace?

[42:28] That's a ten.

Alex Smith

[42:28] I think that all of your examples are too interesting for this.

[42:33] Okay, fair.

[42:34] Because what happens in this scene is they walk into a room that has, like, you know, that

[42:41] wire frame, like, light rigging stuff everywhere.

[42:44] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[42:44] And the light's blinking and fog machines going off.

[42:48] Classic rave.

[42:48] And they walk into a machine.

[42:50] Couple of couches.

[42:51] They walk into a room like that, and they say, we're not in Kansas anymore.

[42:54] And one of them says, we're definitely not in Beverly Hills anymore.

[42:57] And they walk into a party that looks like every party you've seen on television your whole

[43:02] life.

Elliott Kalan

[43:02] You're like, how have you not been?

[43:04] It sounds like exactly what you would see in Beverly Hills.

[43:06] Like, it sounds like a Beverly Hills party.

Alex Smith

[43:08] Oh, it absolutely is.

[43:09] I mean, the fact, I think what they do is they, every once in a while, they will show you like

[43:14] a biker.

[43:15] And they'll be like, this is what, it's a rough crowd.

[43:17] Oh, I see.

[43:18] And then at one point, you see someone like doing, you see someone smoking something.

Dan McCoy

[43:21] Well, what you don't understand is like, we're only seeing what's in front of the camera.

[43:26] Behind the camera, everyone's like totally nude.

[43:30] Like they're just like setting things on fire.

[43:33] It's insane.

Elliott Kalan

[43:34] And to the side of the camera, it's like, it's the Grand Ole Opry Country Bear Jamboree.

[43:38] So it's not like Beverly Hills at all.

Alex Smith

[43:40] It's like the Southern, you know, thing, you know.

[43:42] The Rockafire Explosion band is playing there.

[43:45] It's so funny.

Elliott Kalan

[43:45] I mean, the juxtaposition makes it even more horrifying.

[43:49] We got to go to this party.

[43:51] The Rockafire Explosion is playing.

Alex Smith

[43:54] They keep like, they'll point in a direction and it cuts to like some stock footage of a

[43:59] dog jumping through flaming hoops and stuff.

[44:01] Oh my God.

Elliott Kalan

[44:03] To the old black and white footage of the guy getting hit in the belly with a cannonball.

[44:07] So one of my favorite.

[44:10] What is this place?

[44:11] Not Kansas.

Stuart Wellington

[44:12] So we have one of my favorite exchanges in the episode is Brandon and Emily sit down on

[44:18] a couch and they're kind of surveying the crowd.

[44:22] And they point out this guy who's very clearly a drug dealer.

[44:26] And Emily explains that he is dealing euphoria and he's like in front of everybody.

[44:31] And she's like, yeah, you know, whatever everybody does at 25 bucks a hit.

[44:35] And Brandon's not interested, but then his friends all show up and then Brandon explains

[44:40] all this shit.

[44:41] He's like, he's an expert.

[44:43] He's already an expert.

[44:44] He's like, that guy's a drug dealer and his name is this.

[44:46] And this is how much it costs.

[44:48] It's hilarious.

Alex Smith

[44:50] Yeah, he really shows off all of the knowledge he just got from his girlfriend who is sitting

[44:54] there the whole time.

Stuart Wellington

[44:56] Oh man, it's so great.

[44:57] Yeah.

[44:57] So while that's going on, David's getting drunker.

[45:02] Luke and Dylan and Brenda are, you know, just dancing and having a good time.

Alex Smith

[45:08] Everybody's dancing and having a good time.

[45:09] Brandon is not dancing because he doesn't dance.

[45:12] That's a big character thing for Brandon is he does not dance.

[45:16] And, and, and you kind of wonder what his, why he wanted to, at this point, what is the

[45:23] point of sitting on a couch?

[45:24] Yeah.

[45:24] Why would you go to this?

[45:25] In a room like this and watching, I mean, I guess maybe watching your friends dance is

[45:30] fun.

[45:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[45:31] So Emily makes.

[45:33] I mean, is he like pointing and laughing at them and being like, look at that.

Stuart Wellington

[45:36] Look at that.

[45:36] Actually.

Alex Smith

[45:37] I mean, they actually do.

[45:38] They do put in a few shots of him like pointing at David.

[45:41] David is already acting all kinds of goofy.

Dan McCoy

[45:44] I do think that it is fun to watch your friends dance, but with, you know, apologies to Jordan

[45:51] Morris noted advocate of the non-dancing lifestyle.

[45:57] I find that it's fun to watch your friends dance from your position on the dance floor where

[46:01] you are also dancing.

[46:03] Yeah.

[46:04] Like, I think that the number one, I like dancing, but number two, I feel like off to the

[46:09] side, you're not really getting a good sense of what's going on.

Stuart Wellington

[46:12] Yeah.

[46:13] I mean, maybe if I was like reclining on a paloquin or something.

[46:17] Yeah.

[46:17] A little bit of height.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:19] Sure.

[46:19] Yeah.

[46:19] Being fanned by muscle men.

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:23] Actually.

[46:24] Muscle men.

Alex Smith

[46:24] It's pretty good if you can convince yourself that your friends are dancing for you.

[46:28] Yeah.

[46:28] Not near you.

[46:29] Yeah.

[46:30] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:30] That's true.

[46:30] That you're true.

[46:31] Yes.

[46:31] Entertain me.

[46:32] Yes.

[46:33] Good work for my interest.

[46:34] Yes.

[46:35] So while.

Alex Smith

[46:35] They don't even remember that you're there.

Stuart Wellington

[46:38] Give them an old double clap.

[46:39] A little.

[46:40] You know.

[46:40] One of those.

[46:41] While this is all going on, Steve and Andrea are trying to connect the dots and follow their

[46:46] friends.

[46:47] And they end up in the wrong store.

[46:51] And they get some very.

[46:52] They have very strange conversations with a woman who wants to call the police on them

[46:56] because they're trying to give her an egg.

[46:59] And that's.

[46:59] They're on something.

[47:00] It must be on something.

[47:01] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[47:02] I mean, part of the issue, I guess, was them asking Richard Linklater to direct that part,

[47:06] that aspect of the episode, that storyline.

[47:08] He's like.

[47:09] Hang out.

[47:09] I kind of wanted to see them wander around and interact with the people of Beverly Hills,

[47:14] you know.

Stuart Wellington

[47:14] So meanwhile, Emily, Emily decides to take the, take things up a notch and she secretly doses

[47:24] Brandon's, Brandon's water soda.

Alex Smith

[47:28] She goes to get them sodas and they are very, I mean, I guess they're supposed to be Sprite

[47:33] or something.

[47:33] Yeah.

[47:33] But they look, they look more like cocktails.

[47:35] They're in like little short cocktail, you know, tumblers.

[47:39] And, and she, yeah, she, she puts, she gets drugs.

Elliott Kalan

[47:43] She slips euphoria in both, in both cups.

[47:47] I wonder if, I wonder if that's an instance of them originally supposed to be having actual

[47:53] drinks and someone saying, no, no, they're teen characters.

[47:55] We can't have them drinking.

[47:56] We'll say it's soda.

[47:57] What do you think?

Alex Smith

[47:58] Well, running throughout all of this is the fact that these teens.

[48:03] Unlike my experience, myself and other teens that I know, I'm not currently a teen, but

[48:10] teens I've known throughout my life.

[48:12] You still, you still keep in touch with the lifestyle.

[48:14] Yeah.

[48:15] I'm of course, I of course have my finger on the pulse, but.

[48:18] Yeah.

[48:18] Please take your finger off that teen's pulse.

[48:20] They are all, at this point, at this point, Dylan is already, Dylan is like a 17 year old

[48:26] recovering alcoholic at this point.

[48:28] Oh, okay.

[48:29] Brandon had one episode where he drank too much and totaled his car.

[48:33] Uh, everyone on, uh, Kelly is opposed to any kind of substance because she saw her mom

[48:40] go through stuff.

[48:40] At this point, all of them have these, like, they're all like opposed to stuff except for

[48:45] David, obviously is just like, I want to have a, I want to have a good time.

[48:48] And he has, he has some, some drinks, but it's like, um.

[48:51] Like they're all in recovery.

[48:54] Yeah.

[48:54] Instead of, instead of being like, oh, instead of being like teens on the one side of it

[48:59] where you want to just go out and have as many different experiences with as many different

[49:03] chemicals as you can, which a lot of people went through, they are, the, the show has positioned

[49:08] them on the other side of that where they're like, they're like chiding each other for every

[49:12] choice that they make.

[49:13] So they get punished for anything that they do.

[49:16] And Brandon definitely does not want to drink a cocktail.

[49:19] Uh, so it wouldn't, it wouldn't have made sense for the show for them to just be like,

[49:23] oh, let's relax and have one cocktail because on this show, no one relaxes and has one cocktail.

[49:28] Yeah.

[49:28] You know, you, you, you have a drink and you get expelled from school right before graduation.

Stuart Wellington

[49:35] The, uh, so Brandon gets super high.

[49:38] Emily gets super high.

[49:39] They're like, uh, she reveals to him what happened, but by then he's too far gone.

[49:45] He doesn't care.

[49:46] They end up, uh.

[49:47] He's just waving at bats that he thinks are flying around.

[49:50] They end up reclining together on the hood of his convertible with him, with his shirt

[49:55] off.

[49:56] Uh, the rest of the gang decide to know that they want to leave.

[50:01] David is wasted and he's barfing everywhere.

[50:04] Um, yep.

[50:06] Brandon, Brandon starts to burn some bridges.

[50:08] He's mean to Dylan.

[50:10] He's mean to Brenda.

[50:12] Um, he doesn't, he doesn't care.

[50:14] There's some hilariously, I would say really effective high acting from, uh, from Jason Priestly

[50:20] here.

[50:21] Yeah.

[50:22] And what does he do?

[50:23] A lot of swaying.

Alex Smith

[50:25] I think they did get the club drug thing correct because he's not like a lot of old movies.

[50:32] If somebody gets in a, you know, has, takes an, a substance of any kind, they just like

[50:36] immediately they're seeing like the swirling lines and they're like going crazy and they're,

[50:40] you show them like running down the street with their shirt off or whatever.

Elliott Kalan

[50:44] In the 1970s, they always thought they could fly and jumped off buildings.

[50:46] Yeah.

[50:47] Yeah.

[50:47] That's all anyone on drugs did.

Alex Smith

[50:48] This is seriously, all he does is he lounges on the hood of his car and love bombs all

[50:53] his friends.

[50:54] Yeah.

[50:54] And he's just like, I love you.

[50:55] You're so great.

[50:56] And everyone's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[50:59] Like they get so mad at him.

[51:01] Everyone gets so mad at him, even though he's just like, he's just rolling, you know?

[51:05] And I mean, and the Emily drugging him is definitely not cool, but there is like a quality to

[51:11] this where they really, really punished Brandon for one time taking a, you know, taking a, like

[51:17] a club drug or whatever.

[51:19] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[51:19] Yeah.

[51:20] They're all super shitty about it.

[51:21] And then like, they, yeah, it doesn't let up, uh, you know, so they, and they end up taking

[51:26] his keys and leaving him and Emily there.

[51:29] Yeah.

[51:29] Uh, and he.

[51:31] That seems like the worst, worst solution.

[51:32] Seems like the worst solution.

[51:33] At least drive him home.

[51:34] Because of course the cops show up because that's, you know, that was bound to happen.

[51:38] And they end up running, leaving his car behind in this warehouse.

[51:43] Uh-oh, I don't think that car is going to have a good night.

[51:47] All the, everybody gets home.

[51:49] You know, there's going to be some possums sleeping in the trunk of that car.

[51:52] Brandon gets home at 6 AM.

[51:55] He gets home at 6 AM.

[51:57] Brenda is still having ditched him is waiting up for him and makes him feel super bad.

[52:03] It's so fucked up.

[52:04] For showing up late.

[52:05] And I'm like, you took his keys and then left him there.

Alex Smith

[52:09] She says, every time a car drove by, I got up and looked out the window.

Stuart Wellington

[52:15] And it's like, you let, you fucking left him.

Alex Smith

[52:17] It's not going to be him unless he learned to fucking hotwire it.

Dan McCoy

[52:20] Yeah.

[52:21] You had a car that could bring the person home.

Elliott Kalan

[52:25] That should have been the car that you was observing your own as you drove it.

[52:29] Every time I heard a plane go by, I thought you might parachute out of it.

[52:33] You didn't.

Alex Smith

[52:34] I really had no idea how you were going to get home because we took your keys again.

[52:39] But she also says something like, I thought you had changed forever or something.

[52:44] It's like, man, this is really, really, the consequences of this night are so enormous.

Stuart Wellington

[52:48] I mean, that's what happens anytime I take like too strong of an edible is I'm like, I'm always going to be high.

Alex Smith

[52:56] But he's like, Dylan, I love you, man.

[52:59] And Dylan's like, you've changed.

[53:03] You're bad now.

[53:04] You used to be about the hate.

Stuart Wellington

[53:07] And of course, and like Brenda's also like.

Elliott Kalan

[53:09] How are you going to fight the one world government if you got love in your heart?

Stuart Wellington

[53:12] Come on, man.

[53:13] And Brenda's like, Brandon, our parents trust us.

[53:18] And I could only imagine having that conversation with my brother.

Elliott Kalan

[53:24] So, of course.

[53:25] I have to say, if their parents named them Brenda and Brandon, they deserve whatever they get from messing up their kids by giving them almost the exact same name.

[53:33] That was crazy.

[53:34] I thought it was crazy as a kid.

Alex Smith

[53:35] I mean, they are twins.

Elliott Kalan

[53:37] They're twins.

[53:39] I'm a twin.

[53:39] I don't have the same name as my sister.

[53:42] We have different sounding names.

Alex Smith

[53:44] You actually should.

[53:45] So, your parents actually.

[53:46] Yeah, you're bad.

[53:47] Oh, really?

[53:47] Oh, wow.

[53:48] You changed.

[53:48] I don't want them to end up in jail.

Stuart Wellington

[53:51] And the scene ends.

[53:52] This scene ends where this confrontation ends where Brandon's like, I got to be up in a few hours to work my shift at the Peach Pit.

[54:01] And I'm like, okay, so that's going to be the next scene.

[54:03] That is not the next scene.

[54:04] The next scene is Dylan driving him to pick up his car.

[54:08] So, I guess he didn't – he had enough time to go back to pick up his car, which is now ruined.

[54:14] Like, all the tires are gone.

[54:15] The doors are gone.

[54:16] It's been spray painted.

[54:17] Yeah.

[54:18] There were some very efficient vandals who were just like, we are all over this.

[54:23] Yeah.

[54:23] And –

Elliott Kalan

[54:23] That's real John Hughes fear of the city type stuff.

[54:26] Yeah.

[54:27] Where, like, you leave a car overnight and it's just stripped.

[54:29] Yeah.

[54:29] Right away because it's a city, you know.

Alex Smith

[54:31] So –

[54:31] I mean, it is a convertible and he left the top down.

[54:34] Yeah.

[54:34] So, I mean, that part – I'm not surprised somebody did something to it.

[54:38] But, yeah, they, like, spray painted it and took the wheels.

[54:40] I don't know what they were doing with the fucking wheels.

Elliott Kalan

[54:44] At that point, you might as well just take the whole car.

[54:46] Just go for it.

[54:46] You would think.

[54:47] Yeah.

Alex Smith

[54:47] It's easier to get the wheels somewhere if you take the car.

Elliott Kalan

[54:51] I would imagine.

[54:52] They took the wheels and they go, okay, just roll them a couple miles to the chop shop.

Stuart Wellington

[54:56] Yeah, I mean, if you're that handy, why don't you just steal the whole car?

[55:00] Yeah.

[55:00] It was pretty nice.

Elliott Kalan

[55:01] I think it was probably, like, a couple of turn-of-the-century kids and they just had planks of wood and they're just hitting those wheels along the road just as a game, you know.

Stuart Wellington

[55:11] So, he can't – he's not going to be able to hide this.

[55:14] So, the next scene, you'd think he's at work at the Peach Bit.

[55:18] No.

[55:19] He's having breakfast with his family in that type of breakfast that families have on television where it goes on forever and you're like –

[55:28] Yeah, there's, like, endless time.

[55:30] Where are you finding all –

[55:31] Yeah, endless morning time is an absolute mystery to me.

Alex Smith

[55:34] I do not know how you – yeah, they're, like, on their third cup of coffee.

[55:38] They're like, well, we should go to school.

Dan McCoy

[55:41] So, then –

[55:41] Well, I've had my –

[55:43] It's always, like, a full breakfast.

[55:44] Everyone has multiple foods in front of them.

[55:46] I have my cereal and my eggs and bacon in front of me.

Elliott Kalan

[55:50] So, they –

[55:51] I have milk.

[55:51] I have orange juice.

[55:52] And also this grapefruit half.

[55:53] Coffee.

[55:54] Grapefruit half.

[55:55] Pancakes.

[55:56] Yes, please.

[55:57] Waffles.

[55:57] Put them on the pancakes.

[55:58] Sure.

Stuart Wellington

[55:59] So, it all comes out.

[56:02] They reveal what happens.

[56:04] His family's concerned that he could have been driven permanently insane by taking Euphoria.

[56:10] Yeah.

[56:11] He – and there are going to be some changes around here now.

[56:14] What he does not reveal is who dosed him.

[56:18] Even though he admits that he was dosed by someone else, that he was roofied.

[56:23] He doesn't reveal who it was.

Alex Smith

[56:25] Brenda does know.

[56:26] Brenda does know.

[56:27] That Emily did it.

[56:28] And Brenda and Emily have a very rough history.

[56:32] She does not like Emily for – when Emily first came to West Beverly, she dated Dylan one night and Brandon the next night.

[56:44] And that's Brenda's boyfriend and brother.

[56:47] And so, she has hated Emily pretty much ever since.

[56:50] Even though they make up for a little bit there.

[56:52] But eventually she –

[56:53] Yeah.

[56:54] It doesn't work.

[56:55] The two buttheads for the whole time.

Elliott Kalan

[56:57] Yeah.

[56:57] They do sound like buttheads.

[56:58] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[56:59] Or like lockhorns.

Alex Smith

[57:02] They're married.

[57:03] Yes.

[57:05] So –

[57:06] I do believe in the canon of the show.

[57:07] They are now – Brenda and Emily are now married.

Stuart Wellington

[57:11] So, Emily shows up and she and Brandon kind of make up but not really.

[57:17] And Brandon's going to have to make some changes too.

[57:20] He's not ready.

[57:20] She's like, next time I won't dose you with drugs.

[57:25] And he's like, I don't know if there will be a next time.

[57:28] And then he goes to work and he and Andrea catch up a little bit and she is wearing a very – like a very grandma shirt.

[57:38] It's great.

[57:40] It says, ask me about my grandson.

Elliott Kalan

[57:44] If she showed up wearing that, I wouldn't have been mad and been like, yeah, that's normal.

[57:49] That's his character.

[57:51] She's sitting down with a menu and she takes her glasses that are on a chain around her neck and puts them on the end of her nose.

Stuart Wellington

[57:58] If she like came and was like churning butter because she's like working at Colonial Williamsburg, I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense.

[58:05] That's that character.

[58:06] Okay.

[58:07] And that's basically the episode, guys.

[58:10] It was – I mean it was touching.

[58:14] We all learned something.

[58:16] Some of us were changed irrevocably.

[58:19] And I kind of get why everyone's talking about this shit on Twitter.

Alex Smith

[58:25] This was the end of the –

[58:27] Brought a full circle.

[58:28] This was the end of Brandon and Emily Valentine's relationship.

[58:31] I don't know if Stuart said that explicitly.

[58:34] Yeah.

[58:34] So the end scene should have been him taking her stuff out of his locker.

[58:37] Yeah.

[58:38] Yeah.

[58:38] Oh, he's not – yeah, he's not going to – he's going to have to pick up all his stuff from her locker.

[58:42] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[58:43] So –

[58:43] You know what?

[58:44] Take all the stuff that you asked me to hold in my pockets for you and it's all like feathers and shiny rocks that she picked up and just like pennies and screws and nails.

Dan McCoy

[58:53] You're going to discover she's a magpie in disguise.

Elliott Kalan

[58:58] It takes a hard left turn into fantasy.

[59:02] Wait a minute.

[59:03] You're a magpie, aren't you?

[59:04] And she's like, I didn't want you to find out this way.

[59:06] And she takes off her wig and revealing a bird's head.

[59:08] Oh, man.

[59:09] That would have been awesome.

[59:10] Yeah.

Alex Smith

[59:10] The next Monday at school, he's like, well, Emily was a magpie the whole time.

[59:14] And they're like, who's Emily?

[59:17] Oh, my God.

Dan McCoy

[59:20] What a double twist.

Elliott Kalan

[59:22] So it seems like everyone got really mad at Brandon, which as the point you're making, nothing really bad happened to him.

[59:28] And it seems like the really bad thing that happened was that they took his keys away and his car got wrecked.

[59:32] But it's not –

Stuart Wellington

[59:33] He didn't do anything bad to anyone other than I guess put his trust in the wrong person.

[59:39] Yeah.

Alex Smith

[59:39] Yeah.

[59:39] So –

[59:40] Yeah.

[59:40] And the show punishes them quite a bit for that, which is – it is weird.

[59:45] It's very weird.

Elliott Kalan

[59:46] A regular Job, this guy.

[59:48] Yeah.

[59:50] There is that episode later where his whole family and all his livestock are killed and he argues with God.

[59:55] And then he gets a new family and new livestock.

[59:57] And he's like, the new livestock, fine.

[59:59] But I still miss my old family.

[1:00:01] Like, it's great having this new family.

[1:00:02] But it's like, God, it's not –

[1:00:03] And God's like, oh, doesn't anything please you?

Alex Smith

[1:00:08] Nothing's good enough for Job.

[1:00:09] I would love it so much if every episode of 90210 ended with a kind of Doogie Howser style wrap-up where Brandon argues with God about the events of the episode.

[1:00:21] That would be wonderful.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:22] He's like, God, it seems like I really got punished for something that wasn't my fault.

[1:00:26] And God's like, Brandon, where were you when I created Bayamuth and Leviathan?

[1:00:30] Come on.

[1:00:31] You're going to tell me about the whirlwind all of a sudden?

[1:00:34] No, you're right, God.

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:34] Serious 90210.

Elliott Kalan

[1:00:37] And then Mork walks in and he's like, are you done with the room because I need it to talk to the people of Orc?

Stuart Wellington

[1:00:44] Oh, Mork from Mork and Mindy.

[1:00:48] Mork and Mork.

[1:00:48] He's calling Orson.

[1:00:49] Mork and Gork, the Orc gods from Warhammer.

[1:00:52] Thank you.

[1:00:53] No, no, no.

[1:00:54] No, that's a different Mork.

Alex Smith

[1:00:55] That's a reference you have to be a teen on 90210 to get, the Mork and Mindy thing.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:00] The other thing is, so how old are his parents, do you think?

[1:01:03] So this is 1990.

[1:01:04] His parents have got to be in like their mid-40s at least, right?

[1:01:07] Yep.

[1:01:08] So they're boomers.

Alex Smith

[1:01:09] Jim and Cindy, I would put at around 40 at least in the canon.

[1:01:12] Yeah, so they're boomers.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:13] Part of the trick is you cast a dad who is balding.

[1:01:17] That's the first step.

[1:01:18] You got to get as receding a hairline as possible just to differentiate him from the teenage actors who have a normal receding hairline.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:27] Or the teenage actors who are 10 years younger than him.

[1:01:31] And because, so like these, they have experience with drugs.

[1:01:34] Or probably.

[1:01:36] Yeah, I mean, they grew up in the 60s.

[1:01:38] Who, the actors?

[1:01:39] Well, I mean, these characters, I have to assume.

Stuart Wellington

[1:01:41] Well, there is a line where the mother says that, you know, she was in college in the 60s.

[1:01:46] So she knows.

[1:01:47] And that's why she's scared that they'll turn into fire starters or some shit.

Elliott Kalan

[1:01:52] That is what happened to a lot of people.

[1:01:55] Yeah.

[1:01:55] That was the main issue of the 60s with all the telekinetic fire starters.

Alex Smith

[1:01:59] Yeah.

[1:01:59] It doesn't quite ring true to me because as I understand it, that 60s weed was trash apparently from all accounts.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:06] Yeah.

[1:02:06] So.

[1:02:07] Compared to modern weed, which I hear is really cool.

[1:02:13] Yeah.

Alex Smith

[1:02:14] I think Cindy's talking about the sensation of smoking a cigarette too fast, basically, is what she experienced in college.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:21] Yeah.

[1:02:22] Yeah.

[1:02:22] Spinning around in an office chair a little bit too much.

Dan McCoy

[1:02:26] She's worried that there might be a lot of coughing involved.

[1:02:29] Yeah.

[1:02:29] She doesn't want him to get a sore throat.

[1:02:32] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[1:02:33] So.

[1:02:33] Look, I went to college in the 60s.

[1:02:35] I know what it's like to be slightly nauseous for a little bit.

[1:02:39] Get kind of a headache.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:42] All right.

[1:02:43] Well.

[1:02:43] So this was a very special episode of Beverly Hills 90210.

[1:02:47] And of course, that means that this was a very special.

[1:02:49] And of the Flophouse.

[1:02:50] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:02:50] Of.

[1:02:50] Oh, sorry.

[1:02:51] True boy talking tube to two dudes tonight.

[1:02:53] That's right.

[1:02:54] And which is a Flophouse mini brought to you by Minnie's Bar.

[1:02:58] We are a show that is on maximum fun.

[1:03:01] There's plenty of other great shows on there.

[1:03:03] Check that shit out.

[1:03:04] I'd like to thank my co-hosts who are Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin.

[1:03:09] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:03:10] And our producer, Alex Smith, has joined us as an expert.

[1:03:14] Yeah.

[1:03:15] Thanks for taking in.

Alex Smith

[1:03:16] I'm an expert, not a dude.

[1:03:18] I'm relinquishing my dude status so that the title of the show still makes sense.

[1:03:22] I'm just making that clear to everybody.

[1:03:24] I know some people care about that kind of consistency.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:27] Before you clog up my DMs again.

Dan McCoy

[1:03:29] I believe there were three dudes on the previous show.

Stuart Wellington

[1:03:33] So Charlene and I were watching an episode, since we're still talking tube.

[1:03:37] Charlene and I were talking about the television show Catfish, which is on the tube.

[1:03:41] So this still counts.

[1:03:42] This is fair.

[1:03:43] We're still on base.

[1:03:45] And I was talking about, of the three of us, the three main Flophousers, which of us would

[1:03:51] be most likely to be catfished by somebody.

[1:03:54] And I think it's me.

[1:03:55] I think I am most likely, because, you know, I'm a big romantic at heart.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:00] You know, I would have said Dan a long time ago, but now I do think it's used to because

[1:04:04] you live so much of your life online.

[1:04:05] Much more than we do, I feel like.

[1:04:07] Super online.

[1:04:08] I'm so plugged in.

[1:04:09] My online stuff is mainly limited to me promoting things on Twitter.

[1:04:14] And Dan's is mainly limited to the dumbest jokes on Twitter.

[1:04:19] And you're living in the metaverse by this point.

[1:04:23] You're half digital.

Stuart Wellington

[1:04:24] You're reboot.

[1:04:24] I'm committed to tying myself to this cycle that makes me sad all the time.

Dan McCoy

[1:04:29] Yeah.

[1:04:30] You know, sometimes I'm like, is there a place where I can see Stuart squatting?

[1:04:37] Like, just like, can I see him sticking his butt out while lifting large amounts of weight?

[1:04:42] And it turns out there is.

[1:04:43] Instagram and TikTok.

[1:04:44] It's on the.

[1:04:45] Both of them.

[1:04:45] Yeah.

[1:04:46] Go look at it.

[1:04:47] Yeah.

[1:04:48] You can double up.

Elliott Kalan

[1:04:49] Just like my two butt cheeks.

[1:04:50] So congratulations on your upcoming catfishing.

[1:04:52] I hope it goes great.

[1:04:53] Yeah.

[1:04:53] I mean, it never does.

Alex Smith

[1:04:57] Well, no, there's sometimes people fall in love.

[1:05:00] Oh, I would love to see an episode of like a good, good catfish.

[1:05:03] A good catfish.

[1:05:04] Where it's like.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:04] Oh, this is so much better than I expected.

Alex Smith

[1:05:07] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:07] You're really underselling yourself.

[1:05:09] This is amazing.

[1:05:10] There are enough episodes where it is like actually the person where I'm like shocked.

[1:05:15] I'm blown away.

[1:05:17] But most of them are not.

[1:05:18] Most of them are sad.

[1:05:20] Mm-hmm.

[1:05:21] Yeah.

[1:05:21] How many of them turn out to be actual catfish?

[1:05:24] Oh, you would be surprised that it's most of them are actual catfish.

[1:05:30] Oh, really?

[1:05:31] Wow.

Elliott Kalan

[1:05:31] I mean, that would be a surprise to be like, I fell in love with the person of my dreams.

[1:05:35] And they're like, I have to tell you, I'm not a person at all.

[1:05:37] I'm a catfish.

[1:05:38] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[1:05:39] I'm a fish that's got big like whiskery things.

Stuart Wellington

[1:05:41] Yeah.

[1:05:41] You think this is a, you thought that I was a man with a mustache, but no, this is actually

[1:05:45] long fish whiskers.

[1:05:47] Let me take off my wig.

[1:05:49] I'm not, I'm not Emily, your girlfriend.

[1:05:50] I'm a catfish.

Alex Smith

[1:05:53] I mean, it's weird.

[1:05:55] It's very weird, but you can't be too surprised.

[1:05:57] The show is called Catfish.

[1:05:58] Yeah.

[1:05:58] It's in the title right there.

[1:05:59] It's going to be like super shocked.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:01] Yeah.

[1:06:02] I mean, yeah, yeah.

[1:06:03] That's the amazing thing.

[1:06:03] All we want.

[1:06:04] It's amazing how they keep it fresh every episode.

[1:06:07] So you're always wondering.

[1:06:08] And then afterwards you're like, right, because it's called catfish.

[1:06:11] Of course.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:14] Keep it fresh like a delicious piece of catfish.

[1:06:17] Okay.

[1:06:18] So I think I've already done the sign off.

[1:06:20] So this was a postscript, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[1:06:24] Yeah.

[1:06:25] This was the afterwards.

[1:06:26] Where we find out what happened to all of us after the episode.

[1:06:29] We just kept talking like idiots.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:33] It's the one show that has its own after show embedded in it.

[1:06:40] So just say goodbye or something.

Stuart Wellington

[1:06:43] Bye.

Alex Smith

[1:06:47] By the way, I have some podcasts myself.

[1:06:49] Oh, yeah.

[1:06:50] Let's plug.

Elliott Kalan

[1:06:52] Too late.

[1:06:53] Too late, Alex.

[1:06:54] Should have said something earlier.

Alex Smith

[1:06:57] Just if you were not absolutely repulsed at listening to me speak along with three of your favorite parasocial relations,

[1:07:07] go ahead and check out Howl Dottie's Fast Track and the Big Howl and Possum podcast.

[1:07:13] And I produce this show and I produce I Know the Owner with Charlene Wellington.

[1:07:19] So those are also – check out the Flophouse if you haven't heard it.

[1:07:23] That's a great show as well.

Dan McCoy

[1:07:27] Stu and Charlene, I think, are you both on mainline episodes and I'm on like a Patreon one of Fast Track?

[1:07:34] I'm just trying to sweeten the deal for listeners of our show.

Alex Smith

[1:07:36] Yes, Stuart is on, I believe, episode four of the first season of Howl Dottie's Fast Track.

[1:07:41] We wrote a song together about –

[1:07:42] Going to the movies.

[1:07:43] About going to the movie theater.

[1:07:47] And then Dan and I did a – I do parody songs on my bonus episodes.

[1:07:52] And Dan and I did Ziggy Stardust about –

[1:07:55] Dipping potato chips and dip.

[1:08:00] Chips and dip.

[1:08:01] We turned Ziggy Stardust into a – it's – the bonus episodes, which you can get by going to

[1:08:06] patreon.com slash Howl Dottie, H-O-W-E-L-L-D-A-W-D-Y.

[1:08:11] $5 a month gets you three bonus episodes.

[1:08:13] And the one with Dan – well, the parody episodes, what we do is we have a list of songs and a list of

[1:08:18] topics and we roll two dice and it decides what the song is and what the topic is.

[1:08:22] So we rolled Ziggy Stardust and Chips and Dip as the topic.

[1:08:29] The most recent one of those, we got Electric Feel by Management was the song that we were parodying.

[1:08:37] And the topic turned out to be Electric Eels as well.

[1:08:40] So we ended up having to do a parody of Electric Feel that's more about Electric Eels than the

[1:08:46] original song.

[1:08:47] So –

[1:08:47] Nice.

[1:08:47] And that's how – that's just – that's just how crazy we get with it over there in the

[1:08:51] Fast Track supporter Patreon.

[1:08:54] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[1:08:55] Well.

[1:08:56] So now I'm going to say bye.

[1:08:57] Bye.

Alex Smith

[1:08:59] Bye.

[1:09:00] I've wanted to say that for so long.

[1:09:02] MaximumFun.org.

S8

[1:09:09] Comedy and culture.

[1:09:11] Artist owned.

[1:09:12] Audience supported.

FH Mini 50 - Tuboy Talkin' Tube for Teens to 2 Two Dudes Tonight, That’s Right, with Alex Smith

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