FH Mini 72 - Numb3r Stat10ns

Dan McCoy

[0:00] Hey everyone, and welcome to The Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:08] I'm Stuart Wellington.

Elliott Kalan

[0:09] And I'm Elliot Kalin. Dan, what are we doing today on The Flophouse?

Dan McCoy

[0:13] Well, the numbered episodes of The Flophouse are ones where we talk about a bad movie,

[0:19] but the minisodes...

Elliott Kalan

[0:22] The minisodes, which also have numbers.

Dan McCoy

[0:24] You're right. The ones with bigger numbers, because we've been doing them longer.

[0:28] Hold on, let me start over again.

Elliott Kalan

[0:30] So, the ones that with...

[0:31] The ones labeled FH Mini, which stands for Flophouse Mini.

[0:35] The ones with big numbers, like the unfinished Alan Moore-Bill Sienkiewicz miniseries of the same name.

[0:41] That one is... Those are the movie ones.

[0:43] And the ones with little numbers, like the never-even-conceived Alan Moore-Bill Sienkiewicz miniseries of the same name.

[0:49] Those are the minis. What do we do on the minis, Dan?

Dan McCoy

[0:51] Yeah, and when you get into little murders, you're talking Jules Feiffer.

[0:55] On the minisodes, there are many of them now, and there are theoretically smaller, although not frequently.

Elliott Kalan

[1:03] The only thing that makes the minis smaller is the extreme epic length of our normal episodes.

Dan McCoy

[1:10] And the numbers that we've already addressed.

[1:13] Yes, and those numbers.

[1:14] That's true.

[1:16] On these minisodes, we usually sort of take turns driving these with different ideas.

[1:22] And what I'm bringing to the table tonight, boys...

[1:25] Yep.

[1:26] As you know...

[1:26] Something hot, tasty, and fresh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:28] Sounds like goulash to me.

[1:29] Stuart, you...

[1:29] Mmm, delicious.

Dan McCoy

[1:31] Now, I know your new best friend, of course, is the doll Megan...

[1:36] Uh-huh, yeah.

[1:37] ...from the film Megan.

[1:38] Mm-hmm.

[1:39] She's never gonna leave me.

[1:40] Yeah, and Megan is tearing up the box office.

[1:44] Everyone loves this dancing spooky doll that murders.

[1:48] Yeah.

[1:50] And, of course, when you talk about a dancing, spooky, murdering doll like Megan, you know that she's part of a storied tradition of other films.

[2:01] And I'm not talking about movies about evil dolls, or even movies about evil robots.

[2:06] I'm talking about movies where numerals replace a letter in the title.

[2:10] Oh, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[2:11] So, the movie versions of the TV show Num3ers, for instance.

[2:15] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[2:15] Exactly.

Dan McCoy

[2:17] And so, what I wanna do, boys, is to go through a list of films I've compiled with a number in the title.

[2:23] Like Rocky IV?

[2:24] And I'm gonna talk...

[2:26] Well, no, no.

[2:27] Well, a numeral that replaces a letter.

[2:31] Okay.

[2:31] And I cast a wide net, I wanna say...

[2:33] So, Iron Eagle's two?

[2:34] Mm-hmm.

[2:36] You'll hear some examples later on when we get to the actual examples.

[2:41] Okay.

[2:41] But right now...

[2:42] So, like Saw four?

[2:43] Well, one would be Megan, say.

[2:45] Oh, okay.

[2:46] Where the three of Megan is the E of Megan.

[2:51] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[2:51] I want that to be...

[2:52] I want that to be...

[2:53] That's what's carved on your tombstone, Dan.

[2:55] The three of Megan is the E of Megan.

[2:58] And it just says a Zen proverb.

[3:02] Because I loved watching you start that sentence the opposite of the way you intended, and then have you kind of do a K-turn to get in the direction you wanted to go.

Stuart Wellington

[3:13] With nothing but complete confidence, finish the sentence anyway.

[3:19] Yeah, I'm assuming that's the kind of sentence you'd see at the beginning of an episode of The Wire.

Elliott Kalan

[3:23] And you'd be like, they're quoting their own characters at the top of the episode?

[3:30] This is the most pretentious thing the show can do.

[3:33] But there's always that little screw when the character says the line, and you're like, that's what they said at the beginning of the episode.

[3:38] Still works.

Dan McCoy

[3:39] Yeah, still works.

[3:40] Great show.

[3:41] Great show.

[3:42] Yeah.

[3:42] So, as you may have noticed, if you read Western characters, the capital E...

[3:50] Wait, like the Ringo kid?

[3:52] Yeah.

[3:52] The capital E looks like the numeral three only in reverse.

[3:58] And so, obviously, the designers, the clever designers of Megan thought of this too, and they put a three in there.

[4:06] Which is, to Megan's credit, that is actually addressed in the film.

[4:10] It's canonical that there's a three in Megan's name.

[4:13] It's not just for the title.

[4:15] But, anyway.

[4:17] So, other movies like this.

[4:19] Cast a Wide Net.

[4:21] People can argue whether some of these canonically have a number in the title or not.

[4:24] Okay.

[4:25] But I'm less interested in what the, quote-unquote, official title of the movies are than whether any poster or advertising at any point had a numeral replacing a letter.

Elliott Kalan

[4:35] So, what you're telling me, the note behind the note here is that you're not afraid of controversy.

[4:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[4:40] And so, how this is going to work out, we're going to...

[4:44] We are going to, tonight, decide which is the top number-titled movie.

[4:49] Okay.

[4:50] After we discuss each of them, I'm going to ask you to rank each of these movies, one out of ten, in two categories.

[4:57] One.

[5:00] One.

[5:00] This is conceptual.

[5:01] Do I need a 20-sided die for this?

Elliott Kalan

[5:03] Yes.

[5:04] How complicated is this game?

Dan McCoy

[5:07] You'll be playing our mage, and Stuart is, of course, our ranger.

[5:13] Yeah, yeah.

[5:14] One, the overall quality of the movie.

[5:16] I get to have a spell as a treat.

[5:19] And two, how successful you think the number replacement is in the title.

[5:24] Now, here are some possible criteria.

[5:26] I don't want to tell you.

[5:27] I mean, you can have your own personal one.

[5:29] Does it work visually?

[5:30] Does it make sense?

[5:32] Does it sound right?

[5:33] Does it sound right?

[5:34] Is the choice to use numbers for letters motivated by anything, like, say, in Megan, where there's a reason why there's a number there?

[5:43] Any criteria you want, those are a few suggestions.

[5:46] Okay.

[5:47] And one last quick word for a very long windup.

[5:51] I'm semi-arbitrarily eliminating movies where two is used print style as a replacement for the word two, because I don't think it's in the spirit of the exercise.

[6:01] That you invented.

[6:01] That eliminates.

[6:03] Well, in this exercise.

[6:04] Fair, no.

Dan McCoy

[6:04] Yeah, it's fair.

[6:05] These are instances where the numbers are replacing letters visually and not just homonyms.

Elliott Kalan

[6:11] Not just whole words.

Dan McCoy

[6:13] But not sound-alikes.

[6:14] Okay.

[6:14] So that's no step up to the streets.

[6:17] That's no too fast, too furious, or leprechaun.

[6:19] No jungle to jungle.

[6:20] Okay.

[6:20] Back to the hood.

[6:22] None of that.

[6:22] Yeah, you're right.

[6:23] No jungle to jungle.

[6:24] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[6:25] But if it was called jungle of three to jungle, and there's a three instead of that first D, or alternately jungle to jungle three, and there's a three in the last one, or I'll give you a third option, jungle three to jungle three, you would be okay with that.

[6:38] That would include it.

[6:39] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[6:40] So that sounded like you were explaining some sort of old phone freak.

Elliott Kalan

[6:47] That's when you blow on the Captain Crunch whistle, and you get a free call only to Singapore.

[6:53] You can't call anywhere else.

[6:54] So I hope you know someone in Singapore.

[6:55] You want to connect to jungle three.

Dan McCoy

[6:57] Okay.

[6:58] So starting off, we've talked about it already.

[7:02] You just got to start off with Megan, M3GAN, a little discussion, and then some ratings.

[7:11] What do you guys, do you know anything?

[7:13] What are the two categories?

[7:13] Elliot, I presume you haven't seen it yet.

Elliott Kalan

[7:15] Yeah, I haven't seen Megan, so I don't want to, I can't really talk about the full appropriateness.

[7:21] All right.

[7:22] You know what?

Stuart Wellington

[7:22] Is it because you're, Elliot, is it because you don't like women or gay people?

Elliott Kalan

[7:26] You know?

[7:27] Yeah.

[7:28] I mean, I'm sure you could read that into my actions, but I would say a better explanation would be that I've just been very busy and I have not been able to go to the theaters to see Megan.

Dan McCoy

[7:38] I'm going to change this exercise in midstream.

[7:42] Oh, good, because we barely understood it.

[7:43] For two reasons.

Elliott Kalan

[7:45] Now, wait, is this two, the number two, or is it the word T-O?

Dan McCoy

[7:49] Good question.

[7:53] I've already forgotten the two.

[7:54] Now, I'm going to change it because, number one, as you have shown, you probably haven't seen a lot of these movies, and that was something that I really should have anticipated.

[8:05] Don't judge me.

[8:06] And number-

[8:07] It's possible you've seen them.

[8:08] And number two, if we do the quality thing, I feel like there's a couple films out here that we'll just dominate in quality over.

[8:17] Or, like, it might surprise you to learn that this is a trick that mostly not-so-great movies follow.

Elliott Kalan

[8:22] Oh, weird.

[8:24] Yeah, it's strange how usually quality movies don't have to do title gimmicks to get you through the door.

Dan McCoy

[8:30] So I'm going to change it up.

[8:31] You only have to give one score, one to ten, totally title-based.

Stuart Wellington

[8:35] I'm giving two scores from now on.

[8:36] Which is better, a ten or a one?

[8:40] That's a very good question.

[8:41] Very good question.

Dan McCoy

[8:42] I want to make- let's make it easy on myself.

[8:45] Well, I mean, it's pretty easy either way, but let's- ten is the top.

[8:48] Ten is top, okay.

Elliott Kalan

[8:49] Okay, now, I will say this.

[8:51] Megan, haven't seen the movie, can't judge the movie.

[8:53] It's not for the reason that Stuart mentioned.

[8:55] It is merely because I've been very busy and have not gotten to the theaters.

[8:58] But I think it looks great in the title.

[9:00] She's a robot.

[9:01] Why not put a number in there?

[9:03] I don't know if the twist is that there's three of her, but go ahead.

[9:06] Go for it.

[9:07] You know, I like it.

[9:08] I think it works, and it means people can say Mithrigan or Mithrigan or just any sort

[9:14] of thing like that, which I'm totally okay with.

[9:16] Stuart, what do you think?

[9:17] So I give it a ten out of ten.

[9:19] Stuart, what do you think?

[9:19] Wow, ten out of ten.

Stuart Wellington

[9:21] Yeah, I was going to say nine out of ten.

[9:23] For the title.

[9:23] Yeah.

[9:24] Oh, wow.

[9:25] Stuart's a nine out of ten.

[9:25] So it's great.

[9:27] It's a real fun time in the movies.

[9:28] Highly recommend.

[9:30] Yeah, I'm looking forward to maybe a sequel where they swap out the A for a four, but,

[9:34] you know, who knows?

[9:36] Or an at symbol.

[9:38] Or an at symbol.

Elliott Kalan

[9:40] Yeah, that's true.

[9:41] Because now she's a creature of pure virtuosity.

[9:46] She only exists on the online world.

Dan McCoy

[9:49] Now, I want to, you know, name spoilers.

[9:52] I just want to, I looked it up.

[9:53] Megan stands for, you got this, Model 3 Generative Android.

[9:59] So the A-N both come from Android.

Elliott Kalan

[10:01] Yeah, but you know they just made that up to fit Megan.

Dan McCoy

[10:04] Yeah, exactly.

Elliott Kalan

[10:06] It's not like Jack Kirby was like, oh, strategic hazard initiative enforcement.

[10:10] Hey, that sounds like S.H.I.E.L.D.

[10:12] That's pretty good.

[10:13] You know, he came up with S.H.I.E.L.D.

Dan McCoy

[10:13] and he just filled in some letters.

[10:15] What about MODOK?

Elliott Kalan

[10:16] Well, that's the thing with MODOK.

[10:17] It could have gone either way.

[10:19] He might have said, I like the sound MODOK.

[10:21] Or he might have said, this is a mental organism designed only for killing.

[10:24] No, you know what?

[10:24] Yeah.

[10:25] Then he would be Madafk if he was just going by that.

[10:28] I guess he decided it shouldn't be Madafk.

Stuart Wellington

[10:30] Okay.

[10:31] So yeah, I feel like Megan is looking pretty good right now.

[10:35] Yeah.

[10:35] Megan's-

[10:36] High score, top of the box office.

[10:39] Yeah, right now, top of the box.

Elliott Kalan

[10:41] Is it top of the box office?

[10:42] It's doing very well.

Stuart Wellington

[10:43] No, it's still underneath Avatar Way of Water.

Elliott Kalan

[10:46] And I'll say, Avatar Way of Water, a movie that I haven't heard many people talking about recently,

[10:51] still burning up the charts, though.

[10:53] It's passing Spider-Man No Way Home as the sixth, what, biggest movie ever.

[10:58] So James Cameron, you proved me wrong again.

[11:00] I said you couldn't make a movie out of True Lies, and you did it.

[11:03] And now I said this one wasn't going to be as big a success, and it was.

Stuart Wellington

[11:07] True Lies is based, what, on a Kipling novel?

[11:11] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[11:13] It's merely as racist as a Kipling novel.

[11:15] It's loosely based, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[11:18] I was never the doubter that you were, but I will say that Avatar, I think, has really benefited from the fact that,

[11:25] like, because of the pandemic, they're not throwing as many big movies at the screen as they used to all at once around the holidays.

Elliott Kalan

[11:31] It is very much benefiting, I feel like, from the general dissolving and collapse of the motion picture and television industry,

[11:38] in that it's out, and people are like that.

Dan McCoy

[11:40] Yeah, in that it's a thing that can be seen in theaters.

Elliott Kalan

[11:43] And that it's a thing that's, and I'm sure he'll say this, like, it's a thing that seeing in theater, I haven't seen it,

[11:49] but I know that seeing in the theaters is going to be a different experience than watching on television, you know?

Stuart Wellington

[11:52] Or on, like, your phone or something while you're taking, like, a three-hour-long shit.

Elliott Kalan

[11:56] Well, I mean, at that point, you've got to talk to your doctor, because if you can watch all of Avatar The Way of Water while you're,

[12:01] while it's just a constant poop stream, then something's going wrong.

[12:04] Either your intestines have become, like, a...

[12:08] Constant poop stream.

[12:10] That's from Peepee Lang.

[12:12] Anyway, these are the jokes my children would love if they knew who Katie Lang was.

Dan McCoy

[12:20] Sit down, Sammy.

[12:21] I need to give you some backstory for this.

Elliott Kalan

[12:23] First, let me tell you about a trailblazing lesbian performer.

[12:26] Anyway, now that I've done that, listen to this.

[12:29] Constant pooping.

Dan McCoy

[12:32] You know that new pee joke you've been looking for?

[12:35] Well, listen to this.

Elliott Kalan

[12:36] But the...

[12:37] I think either you're eating too much fiber, or perhaps there's a portal in your intestines

[12:42] that is allowing an alien species to ram its waste out of your system.

[12:46] Either way, you want to get it looked at by a licensed professional.

Dan McCoy

[12:50] Okay.

[12:50] Well, that's Megan for you.

[12:54] Now...

[12:55] Yeah, I think we covered Megan.

[12:57] Number two.

[13:00] Probably the most famous example of this, the first one that I remember, of course, is seven.

[13:05] Yes.

[13:06] With the V in seven.

Elliott Kalan

[13:08] Glad we're getting it out of the way early.

Dan McCoy

[13:09] Is the seven of the title.

[13:11] So, it's like it's actually saying 77.

[13:14] Or...

Elliott Kalan

[13:15] S7N.

[13:17] Yes, S7N.

[13:18] And that's why I'm going to give it a one for title.

[13:22] Wow.

[13:23] Oh, wow.

[13:23] I've never liked that seven in there.

[13:25] It doesn't sound right.

[13:26] It doesn't look right.

[13:27] It really bugs me.

[13:29] It's already called seven.

[13:31] If you're going to go all that way, just name it the number seven.

[13:33] Just use the numeral and not have a full title.

[13:37] Was that that Jim Carrey movie?

Stuart Wellington

[13:39] No, that's the number 23.

Elliott Kalan

[13:41] That's number 23.

[13:42] Yeah.

[13:43] But there's...

[13:44] Why not just call it seven, the number?

[13:45] That would really stick out.

[13:46] And it's right at the top of the listings of movie titles, pretty much.

Stuart Wellington

[13:50] It kind of looks like the seven replaces a V.

[13:54] So, it looks like the V is just kind of off kilter, right?

[13:58] And the credits are backwards, dudes.

[14:02] So, I feel like this whole movie is just a little bit twisted, if you know what I mean.

[14:05] It is pretty twisted.

[14:07] It's a little joker-fied.

Elliott Kalan

[14:09] Kevin Spacey's off-kilter, twisted view of the world.

[14:13] He's got a cockeyed view of reality.

[14:14] That's a little bit different.

[14:16] And this is going to be controversial.

[14:19] I think seven, it's a quality movie.

[14:21] I've never really liked it very much.

[14:22] So, I'm torn between giving it like a four and giving it an eight, basically, for quality.

[14:27] It just doesn't do it for me.

[14:29] Too grim.

[14:30] Too grim.

[14:30] By the time it's over, I'm like, yeah, I did just slog through miles of, I don't know

[14:36] what kind of foul excrement to get out of this prison, Shawshank.

[14:40] And while the experience is over.

Dan McCoy

[14:42] Elliot, at the risk of diluting the hate mail that you are going to get,

[14:46] I feel much the same way about seven.

[14:49] Now, part of it is like a lot of the impact has been diluted by the bad seven imitators.

[14:53] But also, even at the time when I saw it, I'm like, this is a little too grim for me.

[14:57] Like, I like other David Fincher movies a lot, a lot more.

Elliott Kalan

[15:01] When you compare it to, I mean, I love Zodiac.

[15:04] I think Zodiac is such an amazing movie.

[15:06] Oh, yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[15:06] Well, you love his best movie that he ever made.

Elliott Kalan

[15:09] No, but I'm saying, they're not exactly the same thing.

[15:12] But maybe it's that he needed to make seven before he could make Zodiac.

[15:15] He had to crawl before he could walk or walk before he could fly.

[15:18] I don't know.

Stuart Wellington

[15:18] The thing is, I like the paperback thrillers that he has made since seven quite a bit.

[15:26] Sure, yeah.

[15:27] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan McCoy

[15:28] Panic Room's a lot of fun.

[15:29] The game.

[15:31] I like the Dragon Jack 2.

[15:33] The Girl Dragon Jack 2 is a really underrated one, I think.

[15:36] It's great.

Elliott Kalan

[15:37] And, of course, you guys love Benjamin Button.

[15:39] But the, I think, maybe it's also the fact that we were all around the same age when Seven came out.

[15:46] And I don't know about you, but I was surrounded by guys my age who thought Seven was just the most amazing movie ever made until Fight Club came out.

[15:53] And then they thought that was the most amazing movie ever made until Magnolia came out.

[15:58] And then they thought that was the most amazing movie ever made.

[15:59] And it was like, I think it just got hyped up a little too much.

Dan McCoy

[16:02] And these are all movies that I have enjoyed.

[16:06] They're not terrible movies.

[16:07] Yeah, but.

Elliott Kalan

[16:08] It's just movies when it's the.

Dan McCoy

[16:09] It's a very specific snapshot of a specific type of movie watching dude.

[16:14] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[16:15] I feel like it was the only, it was only the, it's only the lack of the, of social media at the time that stopped those movies from becoming like the Rick and Morty of movies.

[16:24] Where people just went to an extreme of, let's call it reckless behavior in their love of the product.

[16:33] But, yeah.

[16:34] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[16:35] Yeah.

[16:36] In a different world, if you go into any New York City weed bodega, it would be filled with like drawings of the characters of Seven and shit just hanging out smoking weed.

Elliott Kalan

[16:47] Yeah.

[16:48] And there's a strain called like crotch knife or something like that, you know.

Dan McCoy

[16:52] Okay.

[16:52] So now let's move on to.

Elliott Kalan

[16:54] Wait, let me just say the one thing.

[16:55] The one thing about Seven that always got to me is how the heroes run out of clues.

[16:59] So the bad guy just shows up.

[17:01] And it was like, movie, did you run out of ideas?

[17:04] Did you not want to do the hard part of having to figure out how the detectives would solve the case?

Dan McCoy

[17:08] Stuart, you haven't given Seven an official number that I recall.

Stuart Wellington

[17:12] Yeah, I think it's pretty clear.

[17:14] I'm giving it a seven.

Dan McCoy

[17:16] Oh, shit.

[17:17] Oh, man.

[17:18] He did it.

[17:19] Okay.

[17:20] So moving on to the next movie.

Elliott Kalan

[17:23] Now, Dan, you're multiplying the number in the title by the number that we give it to get the ultimate score, right?

Dan McCoy

[17:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[17:30] Yeah, those are the secret hidden scores that unlock the ARG that's based on this game.

Stuart Wellington

[17:37] Man, if that guy from the second episode of the rehearsal would listen to this episode, his head would explode.

Dan McCoy

[17:47] Okay, well, this movie is a little movie called 13 Ghosts or Thir 13 N Ghosts.

[17:57] Th-I-R-1-3-E-N Ghosts.

Elliott Kalan

[18:05] You know what, Dan?

[18:06] You know what, Dan?

[18:06] I got IO7 an apology because that actually works much worse than Seven's logo.

Dan McCoy

[18:13] Well, you always have the numeral zero to go for.

Stuart Wellington

[18:18] Unfair.

[18:19] No, I think it is perfectly fitting with the super hammy, goofy source material.

[18:26] Thumbs up to 13 Ghosts.

[18:29] Thumbs up to F. Marie Abraham's amazing performance.

[18:33] Yeah.

[18:34] Great movie.

Dan McCoy

[18:36] It's a fun one.

[18:38] It's, you know, what's that?

[18:39] What was that?

[18:39] Ghost House where the idea was originally like we're just going to remake a bunch of William Castle movies.

[18:45] Yeah.

[18:45] And make them also silly.

[18:48] That's fun.

Stuart Wellington

[18:48] Yeah, that was, was that Dark Castle Productions?

[18:52] Which one was it?

Dan McCoy

[18:53] Oh, yeah.

[18:53] Dark Castle.

[18:54] That was what it was.

[18:55] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[18:55] And they did that.

[18:56] And they also did a couple others, right?

Dan McCoy

[18:58] I mean, on one level, it's the same old like recycling of IP that, you know, destroys everything eventually.

[19:06] On another level, it's at least IP that no one would have thought otherwise to recycle.

Elliott Kalan

[19:11] Well, that's the thing is I've always felt that it doesn't really, except in a few circumstances where you've made a new version of something that's really cool.

[19:19] It doesn't really make sense to remake a good movie, but why not remake a bad movie?

[19:23] Like, come on, remake the William Castle movies?

[19:25] Go for it.

[19:26] Like, that sounds like a great idea.

[19:27] They can't, you can't, you can't get worse.

[19:30] You know, at worst, it's going to be level with the old one, you know?

[19:34] If they announce tomorrow, they're like, oh, we're going in big on the Tingler cinematic universe.

[19:38] I'd be like, go for it.

[19:40] Try it out.

Dan McCoy

[19:43] Yeah.

[19:44] See if you can do it, man.

[19:46] If you can, more power to you.

[19:48] Yeah, come on.

[19:49] Elliot, what number are you going to give 13 Ghosts?

Elliott Kalan

[19:51] I mean, I may, can I give the title a negative number?

Dan McCoy

[19:55] It's just, it's so unwieldy.

[19:57] It doesn't really look like the numbers that it's replacing.

Elliott Kalan

[20:00] I guess the three looks like an E, as we've established with Megan.

[20:04] And the movie, I know I saw, but I barely remember it.

[20:07] So I guess I'm going to give it a 10.

Stuart Wellington

[20:08] It's a glass house that's like a puzzle box.

Elliott Kalan

[20:12] Oh, right.

[20:13] That's right.

[20:14] It's like, it's that way.

[20:15] It's like a real super modern house, right?

[20:17] Yeah.

[20:17] But it's not Glass House.

[20:19] And Matthew Lillard's in it.

[20:19] Yeah.

[20:19] But it's not Glass House with Lili Sobieski.

[20:21] That was her.

[20:22] No, that's a different Glass House.

[20:23] It is not with Lili Sobieski.

[20:24] And it's not the Glass Castle, the harrowing memoir about growing up the children of, of, of

[20:30] abusive, well, abusive somewhat parents.

[20:32] Yeah.

[20:33] I guess I'll call them abusive.

[20:33] Sure.

[20:34] Anyway, it's not the Glass Castle.

Stuart Wellington

[20:36] Okay.

[20:36] Well, if you disagree with Elliot on whether or not the parents were abusive, you write into

[20:40] the vlog.

Elliott Kalan

[20:41] I mean, clearly they were traumatized, the children.

[20:43] Well, is it the Glass Menagerie?

[20:46] Is it that one?

[20:46] It is.

Dan McCoy

[20:47] Yeah.

[20:48] I put you down for negative one.

[20:50] Okay.

[20:50] Negative one.

Stuart Wellington

[20:52] Yeah.

[20:52] I guess I'll give, I'll give it an eight.

Dan McCoy

[20:55] An eight.

[20:56] Okay.

[20:57] There you go.

[20:58] Very scientific experiment that we're engaged in.

[21:02] It'll be back in a moment.

[21:04] But before that, I'm going to take the break here, actually, even though I've got more movies

[21:09] on the other side because we had a long windup and that was because of me.

[21:16] And we have ads.

[21:18] That's what I'm trying to say.

[21:19] This is, I love it.

[21:20] The theme of this episode is long windups.

[21:25] Again, I had it open in another tab and yet it took me that long.

Elliott Kalan

[21:30] Dan, are you trying to keep the mini going longer because you need, the FBI needs to trace

[21:34] the call to us?

Dan McCoy

[21:36] Yeah.

[21:37] Well, Stuart won't tell me where he lives.

Stuart Wellington

[21:39] So you've got to keep him on the line.

[21:41] Yeah.

[21:41] I like, yeah.

[21:41] I like to keep it, keep a little air of mystery.

Dan McCoy

[21:45] This show is sponsored in part by Lumi Labs.

[21:49] Microdosing, you've probably heard of it.

[21:51] If not, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing daily to feel healthier and

[21:55] perform better.

[21:58] Sometimes maybe even it might help to think up premises based on numbers in movie titles.

[22:07] Oh, what a peek behind the curtain at Dan's creative process.

[22:10] For sure.

[22:11] I'm just saying that that could be one of the side effects.

[22:14] Talking points.

[22:16] Well, one of them.

Elliott Kalan

[22:19] As you can tell, Dan is not just a Lumi Labs ad man, but also a user.

Dan McCoy

[22:24] Is that our show is sponsored by Microdose Gummies, which deliver perfect entry-level doses of

[22:30] THC that help you feel just the right amount of good.

[22:39] Microdose is available nationwide.

[22:42] To learn more about Microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code FLOP to get free shipping

[22:49] and 30% off your first order.

[22:52] Links can be found in the show description.

[22:54] But again, that's microdose.com code F-L-O-P.

[23:00] That is FLOP.

[23:01] Stuart.

Stuart Wellington

[23:02] Now, if you know me, you know that there's a few things that are very important to me in my life.

[23:08] Working out.

[23:10] I don't know.

[23:12] Slamming bruise.

[23:14] Slamming bruise.

[23:15] And my two little kitties, Muscles and Meatball Wellington.

[23:19] Today's show is sponsored by Smalls.

[23:22] And Smalls is a protein-packed cat food.

[23:25] It's made with preservative-free ingredients.

[23:27] And it's shipped right to your door.

[23:30] They work with cat nutritionists, which is a thing.

[23:33] And they create recipes that are exactly what cats like and will eat.

[23:39] There are many, many owners of cats who have switched to Smalls report that their cats have a shinier, softer coat.

[23:48] That's lovely.

[23:49] Because you want to touch that coat all the time because you love your cat.

[23:52] Yeah.

[23:53] And that there's just general health improvements.

[23:56] It's great.

[23:58] And with my cats, I know that when I bring a Smalls box into the apartment, both of them climb all over the box.

[24:05] It's not just because it's a cardboard box.

[24:08] They're also excited about the things that are inside it.

[24:10] It's great.

[24:11] So, higher quality ingredients mean a healthier, happier life for your kitty.

[24:17] So, head over to smalls.com slash flop and use promo code flop at checkout for 50% off your first order plus free shipping.

[24:26] That's the best offer you'll find.

[24:29] But you have to use our code.

[24:30] And that code, again, is flop for 50% off your first order.

[24:35] One last time, everybody.

[24:37] That's promo code flop 50% off your first order plus free shipping.

Elliott Kalan

[24:42] Sounds like a great deal.

[24:44] Hey, guys, we also have a special personal message.

[24:47] That's right.

[24:47] It's a Jumbotron.

[24:49] What size is this Tron?

[24:51] It's Jumbo.

[24:52] What size is this Tron?

[24:54] It's Jumbo.

[24:55] Hey, who's that elephant?

[24:57] He's Dumbo, not Jumbo.

[24:58] A different elephant.

[24:59] So, this Jumbotron message is for Lucy, Mary, and Pippin.

[25:03] And the message is from Ben and Chip.

[25:05] And the message says, happy, parentheses, late, birthday.

[25:08] I am so lucky to have a big sister that I genuinely love to hang out with.

[25:12] You have always been one of the coolest people I know.

[25:14] And I have you to thank for my great taste in music, movies, and podcasts.

[25:18] To show how much I appreciate you, I bought this podcast episode like you would a star.

[25:22] Now we each have our own.

[25:25] Oh, that's very sweet.

[25:26] That's a real great message.

[25:27] Happy late birthday from us two.

[25:29] And if you would like a message of your own on a Fluff House episode, why not considering buying a Jumbotron message?

[25:35] Just go to—

[25:36] Why not considering that, indeed?

[25:38] Why not considering buy Jumbotron?

[25:40] Yes.

[25:40] Aha.

[25:40] Very much so.

[25:42] Let's go.

[25:43] Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron for cool times.

[25:46] Yes.

[25:47] It's $200 for a promotional message and $100 for a personal message.

[25:50] So, just go to Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron.

[25:54] And hey, guys, I've got a promotional message and I didn't pay for a Jumbotron.

Dan McCoy

[25:59] Hey, kids don't be like me.

Elliott Kalan

[26:00] Oh, wait, he's taking money out of my pocket.

[26:02] Kids, don't be like me.

[26:04] Pay for it.

[26:05] I just want everybody to know, hey, Maniac of New York, don't call it a comeback.

[26:08] Number one, the latest first issue in the latest season, let's call it, of Maniac of New York, my comic book series.

[26:15] It's in stores right now.

[26:16] If it didn't sell out last week when it came out, go to your store.

[26:20] Say, do you still have copies of Maniac of New York?

[26:23] Don't call it a comeback.

[26:23] Number one, if they say no, we don't, then tell them—

Stuart Wellington

[26:26] Slam your fist onto the counter.

[26:28] Knock aside the stack of other comics.

Elliott Kalan

[26:31] Yeah.

[26:32] Don't do that.

[26:33] Be nice to the people there.

[26:34] If you see a pile of hero clicks, you push it aside and you say, hey, get me a copy of that book.

[26:39] Get it for me.

[26:40] Now, the issues are going to be—this is a four-issue series.

[26:43] It's going to be released not quite monthly, maybe a month and a half-ly schedule.

[26:46] If we can't meet that schedule, because everyone knows Aftershock Comics has been having a little bit of problems lately.

[26:50] If we can't meet that schedule, it may take a little longer, but stick with us and bear with us because this series will be released.

[26:57] Me and the artist, Andre Moody, we're very excited about it, and we just want to make sure it gets into your greedy hands.

[27:03] By greedy, I mean greedy for thrills, chills, and satire.

[27:07] So that's Maniac from New York.

[27:08] Don't call it a comeback.

[27:09] Number one, first issue is out now.

[27:11] More issues to come.

[27:12] It's exciting.

[27:13] Guys, that's the end of my unpaid-for ad.

[27:20] Oh, my God.

[27:21] It's running away.

Stuart Wellington

[27:23] I see the dollars slipping through my fingers.

[27:26] Like Sam's in the hourglass.

S4

[27:33] Parenting.

[27:34] It's hard, but don't worry.

[27:36] You're not alone.

[27:37] Belly up to the low bar with one bad mother and let us remind you that fine is good enough.

[27:42] They want to climb on different things.

[27:45] And how am I supposed to keep them both from dying?

[27:49] There is a right way to do this.

[27:51] And if I can figure out that right way, I'm going to be a good parent.

[27:55] So that is not a thing.

[27:56] So join us each week and let us tell you that you are doing a good job.

[28:01] You can listen to One Bad Mother on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

Stuart Wellington

[28:08] This week on Bullseye, Tom Hanks, as you've never heard him before, mad.

[28:13] You moron.

[28:16] Thank you for the use of the turn signal.

[28:19] Way to use your blinker, idiot.

[28:22] That's Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR.

Dan McCoy

[28:26] And I just wanted to also mention that the Flophouse will be returning to the live stages, at least the stages of the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.

[28:36] Our most frequently played venue because two of us live in Brooklyn still.

[28:42] On April 2nd, we are looking into touring more to other cities later in the year, as well as doing a couple of streaming shows again.

[28:54] People really seem to like them, so you don't want to stop them just because people are coming out to more live events as well.

[29:02] But for now, the only live event where you can see our faces in person will be at the Bell House on April 2nd.

[29:11] That is a Sunday at the most convenient time for a show, you know, with Monday coming up hot on its heels.

[29:22] But that is what we could work out because Elliot happens to be in town.

[29:27] And we are happy to have it.

[29:29] I think, personally, you know, on Sunday, it's nice to have something to do.

[29:34] Because then it feels like you're cheating the week, you know?

[29:38] You're not letting the weekend end.

[29:41] You're getting something in there before the weekend is over.

[29:45] But that's just me.

[29:48] The cost will be $20.

[29:50] You can get tickets through the Bell House site.

[29:56] If you go to our Flophouse site, flophousepodcast.com, we'll have it up there as well.

[30:05] And, yeah, we're not exactly sure what movie we're going to do right now.

[30:10] We're doing a Twitter poll to see.

[30:12] We're going to do an older one.

[30:13] And it's either going to be Hackers, Battlefield Earth, or Willow.

[30:19] When I last checked, Battlefield Earth was a little ahead.

[30:23] But Hackers was very close.

[30:25] I don't know where we're going to land.

[30:27] Anyway, we're excited to do that.

[30:30] We hope to see you there.

[30:33] Let's move on to the next movie.

[30:36] The next movie ever made?

[30:38] Well, now we're going to go into a mini subsection of this mini, which is three movies in a row that are all sequels that are working the sequel number into the title.

[30:56] So number one in this, of course, we got Scream 4, where the A in Scream is replaced with a 4.

[31:06] Got it.

[31:07] Yeah, that is the Scream with Emma Roberts in it.

[31:13] Right.

[31:13] We got Taken 3 with, again, the E is replaced by a 3.

[31:21] Is Emma Roberts also in that one?

[31:25] I believe that Liam Neeson is returning in the role of the guy who's mad about things being taken.

Elliott Kalan

[31:32] I believe it's Lee Forum Neeson is playing in the role.

Dan McCoy

[31:39] And then we've got Final Destination or Fivinal Destination, which when written out looks more like Anal Destination.

[31:51] I've got to be honest.

[31:54] A movie that would do great at the box office.

Elliott Kalan

[31:56] Got to admit it.

[31:57] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[31:58] Huge hit.

[31:58] So in that case, this is one case where it's not really a visual sort of replacement.

[32:04] It's Fivinal.

[32:05] So they're leaning in, I guess, to people's tendency to make a joke out of saying the number.

[32:11] Now here's the problem.

Elliott Kalan

[32:12] It sounds like Fival Destination.

[32:14] This is finally the movie where Fival gets killed in the American Tales series.

[32:18] And you don't want to put an adorable little mouse getting murdered into the minds of your audience.

Stuart Wellington

[32:23] I thought, but by the time he dies, he's become like kind of bitter and twisted by age.

Elliott Kalan

[32:30] Well, yeah.

[32:31] It's true.

[32:32] It takes place much later.

[32:33] And like many immigrants, he has now become anti-immigrant himself because he sees it as a zero-sum game.

[32:39] And so he's now an old man.

[32:41] He runs a store.

[32:42] And he's like, oh, oh, they shouldn't let him in.

[32:44] They don't understand America.

[32:45] What for?

[32:46] And his grandchildren are like, granddad, granddad, tell us the story of how you came to America.

[32:50] And he goes, I always lived here.

[32:52] Huh, buh, buh.

[32:53] He's very mad about it.

[32:54] You kids don't understand.

[32:55] Oh, Fival, what happened to you?

Stuart Wellington

[32:56] Yeah.

[32:56] Yeah, it sounds horrible.

[32:58] Yeah.

[32:58] I don't want to watch that movie.

Dan McCoy

[33:01] So, Dan, why'd you make that movie?

[33:02] Bring me back to Anal Destination.

[33:03] Anal Destination, please.

[33:06] The number of times I've said, bring me back to Anal Destination.

Elliott Kalan

[33:12] To a genie who has shown you a horrible future that you wish you had wished about.

Stuart Wellington

[33:17] Yeah, yeah.

[33:17] Dan, just watch Wishmaster.

[33:19] He knows all about that.

[33:20] I did just watch Witch Watch.

[33:22] Witch Watcher?

[33:23] Witch Watchmaster.

Dan McCoy

[33:24] Watchmaster?

[33:27] Wishmaster, I was texting Stu about it while I was watching it because I knew that he had

[33:33] just watched it for our friend Jim's podcast.

[33:37] What's the name of it?

[33:38] I'm slipping my mind right now.

[33:40] This may hurt a bit.

[33:40] Is that what it is?

[33:43] And so I saw that he was on the Wishmaster episode.

[33:46] I'm like, well, now this gives me something to text Stu about.

[33:51] And I was like, this is-

[33:52] Because you needed a reason.

[33:53] You need a reason.

[33:54] Otherwise, you know, like this is how friendship works.

[33:57] You just need a series of excuses to interact.

[34:00] Yeah, Wishmaster is really the glue holding this bond together.

Elliott Kalan

[34:03] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[34:04] But the genie in that movie really plays fast and loose with what constitutes a wish.

[34:09] Like, he'll be like, wouldn't you like it if this thing happened?

[34:13] And they're like, yeah, I guess.

[34:15] And he's like, done.

[34:16] Idiot, I got you again.

[34:20] Anyway, so let's just lightning round.

[34:24] Scream 4, Taken 3, 5 and all Destination.

[34:27] Alec, give me three numbers.

Elliott Kalan

[34:30] No, what's funny is when you first announced this, I thought there were going to be three

[34:33] movies in the same series, not three totally different movies.

[34:38] Scream with the 4 for the A, I'm going to give that a low grade.

[34:41] Taken with the 3 for the E, yes, high grade.

[34:45] 3s replacing E's almost always works in my book unless it's a 13.

Dan McCoy

[34:48] So it's a 1 and I'm going to put a 7.

Elliott Kalan

[34:51] Sure, and 5 and all Destination, I'm going to get it out of 10 for sheer chutzpah.

[34:55] Because it is such a, it's like, yeah, 5 starts with FI, final starts with FI.

[35:00] Let's just do it.

Stuart Wellington

[35:01] And that's the one that has the best sequence of any Final Destination movie, right?

[35:06] In the gymnasium?

[35:10] Oh, where you keep thinking it's going to happen and then it is in 5, yes.

[35:14] Yeah, that is the best scene.

[35:16] That shit rules.

[35:17] Scream 4.

[35:19] That's not the one where Courtney Cox has the most tragic bangs ever committed to film.

[35:25] Is that three?

Elliott Kalan

[35:27] Yeah, that's three.

[35:28] They're incredible.

[35:29] It's amazing.

[35:30] That was on the tagline for the poster.

[35:31] It says, you'll never get a load of these bangs.

[35:34] You'll never believe these bangs.

[35:35] It's wild.

Dan McCoy

[35:36] They're wild.

[35:37] Miss, miss, bangs, bangs.

[35:39] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[35:40] That was the New York Post headline that you pitched based on the release of that movie.

Stuart Wellington

[35:47] Oh, man.

[35:48] So Scream 4, fairly straightforward.

[35:51] I will give that a five.

[35:54] Okay.

[35:55] Taken 3.

[35:56] I'm going to give that a two.

[35:58] Just because of the three franchises listed, Taken is the worst one.

[36:03] And five, yeah.

[36:05] Five, no destination is, that's a 10.

[36:08] 10 out of 10.

[36:08] Okay.

[36:09] No notes.

Dan McCoy

[36:10] Okay.

[36:10] So now we're going to go to a controversial one.

[36:15] This is Fantastic Four.

[36:18] The Josh Trank Fantastic Four has the A in the middle of Fantastic is the four.

[36:24] Uh-huh.

[36:25] And then there's no other four on the poster.

Elliott Kalan

[36:28] So the title is on the poster is Fan Fourtastic.

[36:31] Is it Fan Fourtastic?

[36:32] Or is it Fourrentastic?

[36:34] Oh, it's the second A.

[36:35] Oh, no.

[36:36] It's Fant Fourtastic.

[36:37] Oh, Fant Fourtastic.

[36:38] That's what it's.

[36:39] It's the second A.

[36:39] Okay.

[36:40] Fant Fourtastic.

[36:42] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[36:44] So, wow.

[36:46] We did that one for the podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[36:48] Yeah.

[36:48] I'm going to give, I mean, the quality of the movie, I'm going to give it a real low grade.

[36:51] Yeah.

[36:51] Yeah, we did that one for the podcast.

[36:52] It's the movie where it takes them like an hour and a half to get their powers.

[36:56] And then the last half hour is them fighting CGI with Dr. Doom.

[37:01] And it doesn't really work.

[37:05] But I'm going to, so the movie quality, I'm going to give it like a two.

[37:09] Okay.

[37:10] Okay.

[37:10] For the title, Fant Fourtastic.

[37:14] And there's no four afterwards, right?

Dan McCoy

[37:15] No, there's no second four to finish it off, really.

Elliott Kalan

[37:17] So, it's basically just Fantastic.

[37:19] Yeah.

[37:20] And it's, so I'm going to give it a two because a lot of people, they're just not that familiar

[37:24] with the Fantastic Four.

[37:25] They're a major, they're the cornerstone of the Marvel Universe.

[37:27] Everything in the House of Ideas is built on the foundation of the FF.

[37:30] But people don't know him.

[37:30] So, there are a lot of old people who went in thinking that was a movie version of the Fantastics,

[37:35] the longest running off-Broadway show.

[37:37] And about Star-Crossed Lovers, or are they, that uses only three pieces of props for scenery

[37:44] and almost no costumes.

[37:46] It's a beautiful show.

[37:47] But a lot of old people were like, I don't understand.

[37:50] Where's the crescent that takes the place of the moon?

[37:53] That man's all stretchy.

[37:54] Why does that guy have rocks on him?

[37:56] I'm tired.

[37:57] I don't get it.

[37:58] So, I feel for those old people.

[38:00] So, I'm going to give it a two, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[38:02] Okay.

[38:03] Sounds good.

Stuart Wellington

[38:04] Which is only half a four.

Dan McCoy

[38:05] That is only half a four.

[38:07] That's actually true.

[38:08] Stuart, I don't think you gave a number here.

Stuart Wellington

[38:10] I'll give it a three.

[38:10] I like the number placement in the exact middle of the title.

[38:13] But the fact that you don't have the entire actual title of the movie anymore doesn't make any sense to me.

[38:20] So, a three.

Elliott Kalan

[38:22] Okay.

[38:23] Do you think they wouldn't have done four Avengers, right, for Endgame?

[38:27] That would have been bonkers.

Stuart Wellington

[38:29] That would have been bonkers, yep.

Elliott Kalan

[38:31] Or like Avenge threeers for Infinity War?

Stuart Wellington

[38:34] Yeah.

[38:35] Again, I don't know.

[38:37] Maybe it would have worked.

[38:38] Who knows?

Dan McCoy

[38:39] Yeah.

[38:39] We got a tasty one coming up, boys.

[38:41] Now, this one is, of course.

[38:44] This is Simone or S1M09.

[38:50] Knee.

[38:52] So, now, this is a movie about a simulated actress.

[38:56] Yes.

[38:57] And I assumed that Simone, the pun of it was that it stood for Simulation 1.

[39:04] And that is true.

[39:04] I confirmed that.

[39:05] But that doesn't explain why you would put numbers in that name.

Elliott Kalan

[39:09] Well, here's what I like about it is she's just made of ones and zeros.

[39:13] So, that's why she's all binaries.

[39:15] Yeah.

[39:15] It's right there.

[39:15] On the other hand, it is a weird-looking title.

[39:18] It does look like, yeah, it's Sun of Unknown.

Dan McCoy

[39:22] It looks like the title of, like, if you download a file from the internet and they didn't bother giving it, like, an easy title.

[39:30] Yeah.

[39:31] A non-searchable title.

[39:34] Mm-hmm.

Elliott Kalan

[39:34] Yeah.

[39:35] I think maybe that's a mistake leading into the streaming world that we now live in is giving your title a non-searchable title.

[39:41] That's a mistake.

[39:42] Don't do that.

Stuart Wellington

[39:43] Yeah.

[39:43] Like, I've told this story before, but when I was looking for images to make a PowerPoint for the Vin Diesel movie, Triple X, and I was, like, Googling XXX Explosion.

[39:59] And I was seated very close to my computer monitor and was a little bit surprised by what I found.

Dan McCoy

[40:05] Yeah.

[40:07] But just a little bit.

[40:08] Yeah, just a little.

[40:09] Yeah.

[40:09] It's always just a little.

[40:12] So, what do we think about S1M0?

[40:19] Have either of you seen this movie?

[40:21] I never saw it.

[40:22] No.

[40:23] This has got Pacino in it, right?

[40:26] That one?

[40:26] Yes.

[40:27] I do think I saw this, and it's really not much of anything.

[40:31] Like, it styles itself a little smarter than movies of that kind.

[40:36] I think Andrew Nichol may have written it, and he's, you know, pretty good usually.

[40:41] What else did he do?

[40:42] It was kind of boring.

[40:43] He did Gattaca.

[40:44] Oh, okay.

[40:45] I think that that's right.

Elliott Kalan

[40:45] Well, that's another one, though, where I think the movie thinks it's smarter than it is.

[40:49] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[40:50] No, I, yeah, this is all true, the things I've been saying.

[40:54] Okay, that's good.

[40:56] I will say, I'm going to give this one a.

Elliott Kalan

[40:58] Our in-house ombudsman was practicing.

[40:59] I'm going to give it a six.

[41:00] He wrote and co-produced the Truman Show.

[41:02] I'll give it a six.

[41:03] A six.

[41:03] Okay.

[41:04] I'm going to go with Stu on this.

[41:06] I'm going to give it, well, maybe I'm going to give it a five, actually.

[41:08] Because it's.

[41:08] Wow.

[41:09] No.

[41:09] Wait, or maybe I'll give it a seven.

[41:11] Forge your own path, buddy.

[41:13] You know.

[41:14] I'm vacillating between five and seven.

[41:16] Choose your own adventure.

Elliott Kalan

[41:16] I can't tell if I like it more or less than Stuart does.

Dan McCoy

[41:19] I'm going to put it as a six then.

[41:23] So, now we got a real treat, and that treat is in the form of cake, a layer cake, in fact.

[41:30] We got L4, your CAC three.

[41:35] And now I want to make it clear, in the poster, they cheat it.

[41:39] They turn the three around.

[41:41] Turn the three around.

[41:43] So, it looks more like an E.

[41:44] But it is clearly a three, especially because there's also, again, that four.

[41:50] Based on the phone.

Elliott Kalan

[41:50] Dan, that makes me believe they didn't do it on purpose, and they just ran out of A's and E's at the printing shop.

Dan McCoy

[41:57] Yeah.

[41:57] They had to use fours and threes.

[41:59] So, you're saying this is like one of those signs outside, like, say, a 7-Eleven.

[42:03] Yeah.

[42:04] Yeah.

Stuart Wellington

[42:04] Yeah, like a marquee where they have a limited number of letters.

Elliott Kalan

[42:08] Yeah, where it says, like, one day only, but it's clearly a zero for the O and one, because they ran out of O's.

Stuart Wellington

[42:13] The thing is, Layer Cake doesn't have any robots in it.

[42:18] No.

[42:18] No computers.

[42:19] It doesn't really have, I mean, it has a little bit to do with money, which is numbers, right?

[42:24] Money and numbers are the same thing.

Elliott Kalan

[42:26] They're not exactly.

[42:27] I mean, in this digital world, yeah, they are pretty much.

[42:29] Yeah.

[42:30] Ever since Nixon took us off the gold standard, yeah, money and numbers are just the same thing.

[42:33] That's what crypto is.

[42:34] It's also not a secret.

[42:35] The realization that money and numbers are the same.

[42:37] Yeah, man.

[42:38] Money is just numbers when you think about it.

Dan McCoy

[42:42] Yeah.

[42:42] There's no justification for why those numbers stand there.

[42:45] You're right.

Elliott Kalan

[42:46] Because it's a crime movie, right?

Dan McCoy

[42:48] Get your money for numbers.

[42:50] It's the one with Daniel Craig, right?

Stuart Wellington

[42:52] Yeah, yeah.

[42:52] Yeah.

[42:53] It's early Daniel Craig.

Dan McCoy

[42:55] Very young Tom Hardy.

[42:57] It feels kind of like the Michael Caine Get Carter.

[43:00] It's got a similar vibe.

[43:01] Yeah, yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:02] And now get Carter.

[43:03] That was G3T, C, hat sign, RT38.

Stuart Wellington

[43:08] It was G3 plus sign.

[43:15] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[43:16] Oh, man.

[43:16] They had to get him because he was a robot.

[43:19] Okay.

[43:19] Yeah, so layer cake, I'm going to give this one.

[43:21] It depends.

[43:21] If it was a printer's error, if they ran out of those letters, I'm going to give it a 10 for ingenuity.

[43:25] But if it wasn't, if it was deliberate, I'm going to give it a three, I think.

Dan McCoy

[43:31] Yeah.

[43:31] Well, that's, I mean, okay.

[43:33] So I'll put down the signal for Schrodinger's cat.

[43:39] Okay, great.

[43:40] Because we're not going to go until we call the print shop that made the posters.

Elliott Kalan

[43:46] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[43:48] And, okay.

[43:50] Schrodinger and a cat?

[43:51] I thought he just played the piano.

[43:53] Okay.

[43:54] Okay.

[43:55] Nice.

Elliott Kalan

[43:58] That's a good one.

[43:59] That's a good one.

[44:00] Speaking of things that will be.

[44:01] I'll wait pause for the audience to applaud.

Stuart Wellington

[44:02] Still pausing.

[44:04] Oh, they're throwing bouquets at me.

[44:08] Oh, bouquets.

[44:08] Oh, there's a room key.

Elliott Kalan

[44:10] Oh, another room key.

[44:11] Oh, now the crowd is turning.

[44:13] Oh, no.

[44:14] Now here comes the Rotten Tomatoes.

[44:15] Oh, I got to get out of here.

[44:17] Oh, and here's the hook.

[44:18] They're pulling you off the stage.

Dan McCoy

[44:19] Stu, as you run off the stage, yell your number behind you.

[44:24] Oh, two.

[44:25] Two.

[44:25] Okay.

[44:26] And now.

Elliott Kalan

[44:27] The audience loves it.

[44:27] The audience loves that.

[44:28] They're going back on stage and they're mopping up the tomatoes they threw.

Dan McCoy

[44:32] Oh, wow.

[44:34] Here's good news for everyone.

[44:35] This is the last movie.

[44:38] Thank fuck.

[44:38] And it is.

Elliott Kalan

[44:39] I kind of thought we would be doing this for the rest of my life.

Dan McCoy

[44:42] Here it is.

[44:44] It's lucky number slevin.

[44:46] Oh, shit.

[44:46] But the V is a seven.

[44:48] Now.

[44:49] Indicating that it sounds slevin sounds like seven.

[44:53] So it's lucky number sle seven in.

Elliott Kalan

[44:57] Now, when you announced this, Dan, I knew seven was going to be one of them.

[45:00] And in my head, I was like, did lucky number slevin do this too?

[45:03] Because I thought maybe it was enough of a gimmick that people were confused already about whether it was seven or slevin.

[45:09] But no, that wasn't confusing enough, I guess.

Dan McCoy

[45:10] In some of the ads, I saw the seven.

[45:14] Oh, I see.

[45:15] There you go.

Elliott Kalan

[45:16] I saw the seven.

[45:17] In some of the ads, I saw the seven.

[45:19] And you were talking about gimmicks.

[45:21] They also.

[45:21] In just some of the slevin ads.

[45:24] I saw the number seven.

[45:26] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

[45:30] Yesterday, you were saying?

Stuart Wellington

[45:32] I was just recounting the release of the movie.

[45:35] Part of the gimmick was that it was released on July 11th, right?

Dan McCoy

[45:41] Yep.

[45:42] Yes.

[45:43] Yeah.

[45:43] The president of the time, I forget which one it was.

[45:46] George W. Bush.

[45:48] Sold his soul for it.

[45:49] Yeah.

[45:50] He officially changed the date to slevin.

[45:53] Yeah.

[45:54] He had a decree of slevin.

[45:56] It was an executive order.

[45:57] Yeah.

[46:00] So, guys, what do you give lucky number slevin?

[46:03] Now, here's.

[46:04] Guys, have you seen that movie?

[46:06] Have you seen that movie?

[46:06] I've never actually seen lucky number slevin.

Elliott Kalan

[46:08] I saw lucky number.

[46:10] And I always get it mixed up with the one that's called like Project 40 something where it's Samuel Jackson is supposed to be Scottish.

[46:16] What's that one?

Dan McCoy

[46:16] Very, very different movie.

[46:18] Yeah.

Elliott Kalan

[46:18] I always get them mixed up because I didn't see them.

Stuart Wellington

[46:20] I feel like Dan saw lucky number slevin, right?

Dan McCoy

[46:23] Yeah.

[46:24] It's one of those post-Tarantino like crime.

[46:26] Like there's a bunch of like competing hitmen.

[46:29] It's like a two days in the valley type thing or.

Elliott Kalan

[46:31] Yeah.

[46:32] Okay.

[46:32] Yeah.

[46:33] It was back when America was still wildly in love with hitmen who wear suits.

[46:38] A thing that has maybe never existed.

[46:43] Yeah.

Dan McCoy

[46:45] Why is that guy wearing a suit and calling attention to himself?

[46:48] Why is this hitman so stylish?

Elliott Kalan

[46:51] I feel like.

[46:52] Who committed this crime?

[46:54] Well, I'll tell you who I definitely wasn't.

[46:55] The bald man with a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck who is wearing a black suit and gloves.

[47:02] He's not suspicious at all.

Stuart Wellington

[47:02] If you are talking shit about Agent 47 while I'm here, this is fucking bullshit.

Elliott Kalan

[47:10] Agent 47.

[47:11] Stuart, I know you love that guy because he hits people and then steals their clothes.

[47:15] He steals their clothes.

Stuart Wellington

[47:18] Drowns them in toilets.

[47:20] It's great.

[47:20] That's why Stuart loves him.

[47:22] I like to imagine a world where every person's clothes will fit me, Agent 47.

[47:29] Yeah.

[47:29] It's just a world of traveling pants.

[47:31] Yeah.

[47:31] It's great.

[47:32] I love it.

[47:34] Yeah.

[47:34] So lucky number Slevin.

[47:35] I've seen it.

[47:36] Okay.

[47:36] I have a series.

[47:38] Okay.

[47:39] I can do it.

[47:39] I'm going to pick a number.

[47:41] Okay.

[47:42] I'm going to give it a Slevin.

[47:44] Okay.

Elliott Kalan

[47:45] So Dan, is there a character named Slevin?

[47:48] Like what does Slevin mean?

Dan McCoy

[47:49] I think that there's a guy whose name is Slevin.

[47:53] Even as a character's name, that sounds ridiculous.

[47:56] Very stupid.

Elliott Kalan

[47:58] Let alone to hang a pun on.

[47:59] I mean like better off Ted.

[48:01] Not even a pun.

Dan McCoy

[48:02] You made up a word.

Elliott Kalan

[48:03] Better off Ted.

[48:04] Ted is a real name.

[48:05] Better off dead is a thing.

[48:08] Slevin, it's not like people are going to be like, oh, yes, of course.

[48:11] Slevin is a name for a human being.

[48:17] So I'm going to give it a Slevin, Stuart.

[48:22] Yeah.

[48:22] I'm going to give it a Slicks.

[48:23] That's like a six.

[48:25] Because it got, again, chutzpah.

[48:27] It takes such chutzpah to be like, we're going to make up a name.

[48:29] We're going to stick it in the title.

[48:31] And it's like when a movie comes out, like that movie Mumford, when the trailer was just

[48:37] people going, Mumford, Mumford, Mumford.

[48:40] And then they say, everybody's talking about Mumford.

[48:42] It always makes me so mad that they're like, guess what?

[48:45] In this movie, the main character must be cool.

[48:47] Everyone says his name a bunch of times.

[48:50] Yeah.

[48:52] Okay.

[48:53] They should have done an ad for Downfall where they said, like, everybody's talking about

[48:57] Hitler.

[48:57] And they just have one shot after another of characters going, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.

Stuart Wellington

[49:01] Yeah.

[49:02] That's, yeah.

[49:03] That's, that's why aren't you in charge of the marketing for the movie Downfall that came

[49:07] out a long time ago?

Elliott Kalan

[49:08] It came out a long time ago.

[49:10] It's only in my mind because I saw a, because someone brought back the, the old habit of

[49:14] taking the scene, the meme scene.

[49:16] And they did, it was about Kevin McCarthy trying to get the votes for his, for his speakership.

[49:21] So, uh, it's, and I was like, you know what?

[49:23] I remember loving that meme.

[49:25] Every time a new, a new subtitle batch came out, we'd all gather around the screen at the

[49:30] office and just watch it and laugh and laugh when Hitler got mad at everybody.

[49:33] Mm-hmm.

[49:36] It's just, it's just a show.

[49:37] When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

[49:38] And when life gives you lemons, makes lemonade.

[49:40] Yep.

Dan McCoy

[49:42] Normally I would try to break in, but that was actually useful.

[49:45] I was able to calculate scores.

[49:47] So, um, these are not going to be in order, pardon me, but I will, but I will say.

Elliott Kalan

[49:53] Cool, cool, cool.

[49:54] Well, no, no, no.

[49:55] That's how they usually do scores when they announce them for sporting events.

[49:58] Let me finish.

Dan McCoy

[49:59] Let me finish.

[50:01] Like the lower, the lower scoring ones are not going to be in order.

[50:04] I will give you our top two at the end.

[50:08] But, uh, so, uh, the movie seven ironically got an eight.

[50:14] I don't know, ironically.

[50:16] Whereas 13 ghosts got a seven.

[50:19] No.

[50:19] Uh, scream.

[50:21] Everything's crazy in this one.

[50:23] Everything's cuckoo.

Elliott Kalan

[50:24] Upside down.

[50:25] Scream.

Dan McCoy

[50:26] Scream four.

[50:26] I guess, I guess black is white, cats are dogs.

[50:30] Scream four got a six.

[50:33] And taken, taken three got a nine.

[50:36] I hope some day science figures out how to understand these numbers.

[50:42] Fantastic four got a five.

[50:45] Now, as you know, Simone got a 12.

[50:51] How do we know that?

[50:52] We know it.

[50:54] Layer cake, because your number was in flux, we could not calculate that.

[51:00] Inadmissable.

[51:01] And, and as you, uh, know, uh, sleven plus slicks equals slurteen.

[51:09] So.

[51:09] Yeah.

[51:10] Basic, basic, basic arithmetic.

[51:12] Yeah.

[51:12] Uh, so, uh, at the top, Megan came close to dominating this game like she dominated the box office with a 19.

[51:21] But five null destination pulled it out with a perfect score of 20.

[51:27] And that, that was a podcast.

[51:31] Yeah.

[51:31] Well.

[51:31] That technically is considered a podcast.

Elliott Kalan

[51:34] Well, we, we, we solved a lot of arguments tonight.

[51:36] I think we're gonna, I think this is the, this is the one to submit for the Nobel Prize.

[51:40] Yes.

Dan McCoy

[51:42] And math.

[51:43] Um, so.

[51:45] Uh, this has been a Flophouse Mini.

[51:48] Um, we belong to the Maximum Fun Network.

[51:51] Go to MaximumFun.org.

[51:52] Check out the other great shows on the network.

[51:55] Um, if you want to spread word about the show, I don't know, maybe this is the worst or the best episode to tell people to listen to.

[52:02] Who knows?

[52:03] But if you like it, uh, tell people on social media or, or in person.

[52:07] Why not write us a review?

Elliott Kalan

[52:09] Write us a review on the podcast listening thing of your choice.

Dan McCoy

[52:12] Yeah.

[52:13] We would love that.

[52:14] Uh, well, we would mostly love it if it was a good review.

[52:16] If it's a bad review, like why do you, you know.

[52:17] Keep it to yourself.

[52:18] Yeah.

[52:18] There's got other, you got other things to do.

[52:20] That's the kind of thing.

[52:21] You know, you already wasted time listening to our podcast.

[52:24] Why do you want to review it now?

Elliott Kalan

[52:25] Why compound that?

[52:26] Save those thoughts for your hate journal.

Dan McCoy

[52:28] Yeah.

[52:28] Um, and also our podcast is edited and, uh, mixed and everything by our producer, Alex Smith.

[52:37] He goes by Howell Dottie on Twitter and elsewhere.

[52:40] And I hope he can make something of this.

[52:43] Uh, but we've kept you all and us all long enough.

[52:47] So for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCoy.

Elliott Kalan

[52:50] I've been Stuart Wellington.

[52:51] And I've been Threely at K4A.

[52:54] Thank you for an...

[52:55] Maximumfun.org

Dan McCoy

[53:02] Comedy and culture.

S5

[53:04] Artist owned.

[53:05] Audience supported.

FH Mini 72 - Numb3r Stat10ns

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