FH Mini 100! - Elliott Looks Back

Elliott Kalan

[0:00] Hey, Floppers, this is Elliot talking.

[0:02] Before we get into this episode's classic Flophouse shenanigans,

[0:05] I wanted to make sure you knew about some upcoming live events we are very excited about.

[0:08] On April 27th at 7 p.m. Eastern, we are premiering online the professionally shot,

[0:13] professionally edited online video of our Speed 2 live show.

[0:17] Dan Stewart and I will be there watching the show with you,

[0:20] text chatting with the audience throughout the entire thing.

[0:23] Can't make it on the 27th?

[0:24] The video will be available to watch at your leisure through May 19th.

[0:28] To see the trailer and buy tickets, go to stagepilot.com slash flop dash house dash speed dash 2.

[0:36] If you want to see us in person and you live in England, remember that on the 24th of May,

[0:40] we'll be in Oxford doing our first and second ever UK live shows in one night.

[0:44] 7 p.m., we're talking The Avengers.

[0:46] 9 p.m., we're talking Spice World.

[0:48] Two shows, one night.

[0:49] For tickets and more information, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events.

[0:54] Now that's enough live show hype from me.

[0:56] Let's get to that patented flophouse silliness.

[0:59] Take it away, peaches.

[1:04] Hello, everybody.

[1:06] Welcome to the Flophouse Mini.

[1:08] This is our 100th mini.

[1:11] The Flophouse Minis are something we introduced during, I think, the pandemic.

[1:15] And it's a chance for us to do silly things that the Flophouse doesn't normally do.

[1:20] And today I'm joined by my regular Flophouse co-hosts.

[1:23] Introduce yourself, guys.

Dan McCoy

[1:25] Dan McCoy is my name.

Elliott Kalan

[1:26] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[1:28] And today I thought I'd take us on a little memory jaunt through Minis past in what I call

[1:35] the 100 greatest moments of the first 100 Minis.

[1:39] Wow.

[1:40] Oh, wow.

[1:40] Ambitious.

[1:41] Starting with number 100.

[1:43] Oh, I'm sorry.

[1:44] Oh, wait a second.

Tom Brokaw

[1:45] Sorry, there's somebody.

[1:46] There's somebody at the door.

[1:47] Hold on.

[1:48] Yeah.

[1:49] Oh.

Elliott Kalan

[1:50] Yeah, come in.

[1:51] Yeah, okay.

[1:52] Guys.

[1:53] Yeah, wait till you get to these minutes.

[1:54] It really locks the door.

Tom Brokaw

[1:55] Someone's going to be.

[1:56] I should have locked the door because, well, hello there, Dan and Stuart.

[2:01] It's me, Tom Brokaw.

[2:03] Yeah, and the most famous newsman, Tom Brokaw.

Elliott Kalan

[2:05] Famous newsman.

[2:06] Elliot, I'll take it from here.

[2:09] I don't know, but we've got a whole thing.

[2:10] It's our 100th mini.

[2:11] We're really going to celebrate it.

[2:12] I think I know why he's here, Dan.

Tom Brokaw

[2:14] I believe you'll find that two weeks ago on your very program, you promised I could arrive

[2:20] and talk about the movie everyone's talking about, Dune Part 2.

[2:27] Yeah, I did say you could do that.

Elliott Kalan

[2:28] That's true.

[2:29] Guys, I apologize that I kind of promised that to America's favorite newsman, Tom Brokaw.

[2:33] Okay.

Stuart Wellington

[2:34] I guess we can save your thing for mini 101.

Dan McCoy

[2:37] I mean, I would say no spoilers since I haven't gotten around to it yet, but I have read the

[2:42] book, Dune, so I guess I've already spoiled myself.

Tom Brokaw

[2:46] Well, Daniel, you're in luck because while I could talk about the masterful way that Denis

[2:52] Villeneuve has adapted the greatest novel in human history, some would say not so much a

[2:59] novel as a future history, a history of past events that have not taken place yet.

[3:06] I am not going to be talking purely about that movie today, although I will note that it

[3:11] brings some of the weirdness back to Dune, which I appreciated.

[3:16] Yes, Dan, you have something to tell me?

Dan McCoy

[3:19] No, I'm just astounded by sort of the glottal stops and sort of breath pauses that you managed

[3:28] to work in there.

Tom Brokaw

[3:28] Dan, this is how you have to talk if you want to tell America the events of the world.

[3:34] Now, first, I wanted to highlight one aspect of the film, which is Javier Barham's performance

Elliott Kalan

[3:41] as Stilgar.

Tom Brokaw

[3:44] Stilgar becomes a character who is both a religious believer and also a man of his tribe of responsibility

[3:52] and also somewhat of a funny character.

[3:56] And it led me to believe that Javier Barham might be the perfect casting for a theatrical event.

[4:03] I have been trying to get off the ground for some time.

[4:08] You may know that I am a little bit of a dappler in the tuneful arts, you may say.

[4:14] I wasn't aware of that.

[4:16] Well, in addition to hosting NBC Nightly News for quite some time, I also am an amateur writer

[4:22] of musicals, stage musicals.

[4:25] Oh, okay.

[4:25] And I've been tinkering with a musical about my favorite work of literature, Dune, for quite some time.

[4:33] And I think that Javier Bardem would be the perfect lead for this musical.

[4:37] It's called A Ballaset Player on the Seach, or some may call it A Fiddler on the Dune.

[4:43] I've been looking for backers for this play for quite some time.

[4:46] It tells through music and dance the story of the travails of the Dune-ish people and how they must find a homeland for themselves.

[4:55] I thought this would be the perfect time because your podcast is so incredibly successful and is listened to by so many power players.

[5:03] That I could present a sort of backers reading of some of the songs from the show so that they could hear them and then fund my Javier Bardem starring Broadway run.

Stuart Wellington

[5:16] And like, Laser Wolf sounds like a Dune character.

Tom Brokaw

[5:18] It does indeed.

[5:21] Only the mind of Frank Herbert or perhaps Sholem Aleichem could come up with a character named Laser Wolf.

[5:27] So, without further ado, I would like to begin by introducing the show the way it would be introduced on stage.

[5:34] Unless you have a...

[5:35] I guess we're...

[5:35] No, no, no, no.

[5:36] Would you like to fund the show without hearing anything from you?

[5:39] I certainly wouldn't like to do that.

[5:41] So, I guess...

Stuart Wellington

[5:41] The Kickstarter video of the podcast.

Tom Brokaw

[5:43] I'm looking for roughly $500,000 for the initial seed funding to then get the further several million dollars it costs to put up a Broadway show.

[5:54] We, of course, could start out of town for a lesser cost.

[5:57] But I do dream of bringing it to the Great White Way.

[6:00] But it would begin with a, you know, a sort of a sort of balacet sound.

[6:06] And our main character or one of our main characters would emerge.

[6:12] This, of course, I think would be Javier Bardem because he'll be maybe the biggest star in the cast.

[6:17] Or if we're lucky, the smallest star in the cast.

[6:20] If you can get even bigger names to be in the show.

[6:22] And he will say, a balacet player on the siege.

[6:27] Sounds crazy, no?

[6:29] But you could say that each of us in our city of Arakeen is a balacet player on the siege.

[6:35] Trying to eke out a simple rendition of the prophecy without being swallowed by the maw of Shai Halud.

[6:41] Why do we stay here?

[6:43] We stay because after a lifetime on Arrakis, we are addicted to air that contains the spice melange.

[6:48] How do we keep our balance?

[6:50] That, I can answer in one word.

[6:53] Because we're Fremen.

[6:54] And then the music starts up.

[6:57] We're Fremen.

[7:02] Yeah, sure.

[7:07] Our knowledge that the Kwisatz Haderach is coming has allowed us to keep our balance for many years.

[7:12] Because of the prophecy, we always know how to do everything.

[7:15] How to walk on sand.

[7:17] How to suck water out of the bodies of our enemies.

[7:19] How to wear clothes.

[7:21] For instance, we always wear our steel suits.

[7:24] This shows our constant devotion to not wasting our urine.

[7:27] You may ask, when is the Kwisatz Haderach coming?

[7:30] I'll tell you.

[7:31] I don't know.

[7:32] It's a laugh line.

[7:33] But the Bene Gesserit tell us he is.

[7:35] And that we better be ready for him.

[7:37] And then the music starts up again.

[7:38] Bump, bump.

[7:39] Who day and night must ride on all the sandworms.

[7:42] Calibrate the thumpers.

[7:43] Say his daily prayers.

[7:44] And who has the right as master of the siege to speak at the southern council?

[7:50] The Stilgar.

[7:51] The Stilgar.

[7:54] There's a lot more, Dan.

[7:55] The Stilgar.

[7:56] The Stilgar.

[8:00] Now more of the cast comes out.

[8:02] Who must know the way to spread a prophecy?

[8:04] For centuries, we've been ages.

[8:07] Who must use the voice to silence blasphemy?

[8:10] So Paul is free to be the Haderach.

[8:12] Bump, bump, bump.

[8:13] Reverend Mother.

[8:15] The Mother.

[8:16] Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

[8:18] And then more music.

[8:19] At three, I lived on Caledon.

[8:22] As a teen, I came to Dune.

[8:24] I hear I'll spark a bloody jihad.

[8:27] I hope I don't.

[8:30] Madib.

[8:31] Madib.

[8:32] Anyway.

Dan McCoy

[8:32] I feel like that's a Ben Platt role.

[8:34] Thank God you didn't bother to do what someone might do

[8:38] when they're pitching a thing

[8:40] and bring in like a piano player or someone.

[8:42] No, Dan, I don't have the money.

[8:44] I don't have the funds.

[8:45] It's just sort of a dumb, bump, bump, bump, et cetera motion.

Tom Brokaw

[8:48] I'm doing this because I don't have the funds for those things.

[8:51] If I did, I wouldn't have to do it.

[8:53] And then it goes,

[8:54] The ways of the Fremen, without them,

[8:55] would be as shaky as, as, as a ballast set player on the roof.

[9:02] Then we go to the court of the Padishah Emperor, Shaddam IV,

[9:06] where we find that some members of the Spacing Guild,

[9:08] yearn for a strong leader who can keep them supplied

[9:11] with the precious resource they need to do their work.

[9:13] And they begin their song.

[9:15] Harkonnen, Harkonnen, bring me some spice.

[9:18] The spice it must flow.

[9:20] Easy and nice.

[9:22] Harkonnen, Harkonnen, I must fold space.

[9:25] So bring me some perfect spice.

[9:29] And then one of them steps out.

[9:31] Harkonnen, Harkonnen, I'm a third stage.

[9:34] Guild navigator in a tank like a cage.

[9:37] Bring me some spice so space I can roam.

[9:40] Piloting ships for Chome.

[9:42] Now, Chome isn't in the movies per se,

[9:44] but that's the interstellar trading organization from the novel.

[9:47] Please rob on.

[9:49] We need spice production.

[9:50] The galactic economy can't function if it's ceased.

[9:53] If anyone can stop harvest interruptions,

[9:56] we assume it's the man who they call the beast.

[9:59] And anyway, that song goes on for a little bit as well.

[10:02] Yes, Dan, are you ready to invest?

[10:03] Because there's more music if you're not.

Dan McCoy

[10:05] I'm just reflecting on how we just finished the Max Fund Drive,

[10:10] and it really punches up the importance of supporting independent media.

[10:15] Because certainly no one else would put this on the air.

Elliott Kalan

[10:18] This was a, this was a, this was a, this was a,

[10:20] if I can break character for a moment,

[10:22] and then I'll get back to the illusion.

[10:23] I was, the other night I was doing this,

[10:25] and I was like, I was like, saying to my wife,

[10:26] I was like, it writes itself.

[10:28] And she goes, I don't think it does write itself.

[10:31] It was just coming to me so quickly.

Dan McCoy

[10:33] You're just, you're just so deeply steeped,

[10:35] and you've become the character of Tom Brokaw, Lovington.

Tom Brokaw

[10:39] Well, at the same time, being a Jew,

[10:41] who knows all the words to fill out the room.

[10:42] Now, okay, now if I could, Elliot, if I could step in, please.

[10:45] Sure, yeah, sure, Mr. Brokaw.

[10:47] Now that the show has set up the complicated economics and politics

[10:50] of Frank Herbert's visionary world,

[10:52] we must turn to its metaphysics.

[10:54] So as a young Paul Atreides is serenaded

[10:57] by Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Moyam of the Bene Gesserit,

[11:01] as she gives him the test that will set him on the path

[11:03] to triumph and tragedy, singing to him.

[11:07] How can I hope to make you understand?

[11:11] Don't you move your right hand.

[11:15] Keep it in that small box where I will land

[11:18] on your neck with my gum jabbar.

[11:22] See, if you're human, you'll withstand the pain.

[11:26] That, to me, makes it plain.

[11:29] If you're an animal that I disdain,

[11:33] I'll kill with my gum jabbar.

[11:36] So that's another song.

[11:37] It's touching in its own way.

[11:39] It's sort of a lullaby.

[11:40] It is.

[11:41] But that would have to go.

[11:43] Duke Leto, of course, is ordered to take control of Arrakis,

[11:46] which he recognizes as a trap.

[11:47] But he also knows he cannot turn down this order.

[11:50] And so he goes into the stables of Caledon

[11:53] to sing about this contradiction.

[11:55] He goes, oh, Lord, you want to put my house in charge of Arrakis?

[12:00] I realize, of course, it's no shame to control Arrakis,

[12:03] But it's no great honor either.

[12:05] If we take a rack kiss.

[12:07] Yabba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dun.

[12:10] Okay.

[12:10] All day long I'd wish we were back home.

[12:13] If we take a rack kiss, man, I know I wouldn't like it.

[12:18] Yabba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dibba-dun.

[12:21] If I were the bitty-bitty boss of yiddle-didal-didal-dun,

[12:30] I'd build a big tall complex, shields by the dozens,

[12:35] right in the center of the sand.

[12:38] Go out on inspections, riding in the thopter plains.

[12:42] Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee.

[12:43] There'd be just one big harvester scooping spice up

[12:47] and into a worm falling down.

[12:49] Because if the spice doesn't flow, I know I'll get the blame.

[12:54] So that song goes on for a while also.

[12:56] Still a banger, even if you make it about dune.

[12:58] It's an original.

[13:00] Thank you, Dan.

[13:01] So we'll have one more song before we reach the intermission.

[13:04] So I'll just do this final song before we get to the intermission of the show.

[13:08] The Duke's misgivings, of course they are correct.

[13:10] And the Harkonnens, backed up by the emperor's personal troops,

[13:13] storm the Atreides compound, killing many.

[13:15] And this is a massive dance number that is sung by the Sardaukar troops

[13:19] as they are butchering their way through, but also dancing.

[13:23] And it says,

[13:24] To fight, to fight, Sardaukar.

[13:27] Sardaukar, Sardaukar, to fight.

[13:30] It's the Atreides we want to kill.

[13:32] All of the blood will spill.

[13:34] Sardaukar, to fight.

[13:36] God would like us to destroy the Duke.

[13:39] And by God, we mean the Emperor.

[13:41] Because they worship the Emperor, you see.

[13:42] To help Dr. Huey replace the poison.

[13:45] Tooth will leave Lido lying on the floor.

[13:48] We killed Duncan, Idaho.

[13:51] We'll kill all Atreides we find.

[13:54] And if not all their blood is shed,

[13:56] at least there will be lots of dead.

[13:57] Sardaukar, to fight.

[14:01] And there's a lot of dancing after that.

[14:03] And it leads, of course, to a huge applause number.

[14:06] People love it.

[14:07] They go crazy.

Elliott Kalan

[14:07] I mean, I don't think you can dictate that

[14:09] as the writer of the show.

Tom Brokaw

[14:10] I wrote it into the script.

[14:11] Huge applause.

[14:12] Audience goes crazy.

[14:12] Like the Wonka thing?

[14:14] Like the AI Wonka script that described

[14:17] how the people attending would be enraptured

[14:19] in joy and love it.

[14:20] The intermission hits at that point.

[14:22] Curtain falls.

[14:23] People say,

[14:23] What's going to happen in a ballast set on the siege part two?

[14:27] And I believe you have some sponsors

[14:29] that you'd like to mention.

[14:31] in the episode as we go to the intermission

[14:33] of a ballast set on the siege.

[14:35] Dan, who do we have sponsoring this?

[14:38] You know what?

[14:38] I'll do it.

[14:39] This revolutionary audition.

Dan McCoy

[14:40] I'll do both of the sponsors

[14:42] and then I'll toss it back to our mutual friend, Elliot,

[14:45] for some words about some live shows we've got coming up.

[14:49] And our first sponsor is Squarespace,

[14:50] which is the all-in-one website platform

[14:53] for entrepreneurs.

[14:56] Entrepreneurs.

Tom Brokaw

[14:57] I believe that's how you can spell it.

[14:58] I believe it's pronounced entrepreneur.

Dan McCoy

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[15:18] Terms, even.

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Elliott Kalan

[16:22] We've got some exciting things

[16:23] in the Flophouse live show universe.

[16:25] We are releasing this not long after

[16:28] our triumphant return to the Bell House in Brooklyn,

[16:32] and we have some more exciting live things going up.

[16:34] First of all, we did some shows in Los Angeles last year,

[16:40] at the end of last year, that were great shows.

[16:42] So great, we felt it was unfair

[16:43] to keep them in Los Angeles

[16:45] and only let those people see them.

[16:47] We had to let the world see it.

[16:49] We had to release these jokes into the wild

[16:51] so that everyone could enjoy them.

[16:52] And that's why on April 27th,

[16:55] we will be having our internet premiere

[16:56] for the video of the Flophouse Sink Speed 2,

[16:59] our Speed 2 live show.

[17:01] Tickets are on sale right now from StagePilot,

[17:04] the company that has done an amazing job

[17:06] of shooting and editing the show.

[17:08] It looks so incredibly professional and cool.

[17:10] It's like better than Stop Making Sense probably, Dan, right?

Dan McCoy

[17:13] I wouldn't go that far,

[17:15] but I watch these things and I'm like,

[17:16] wow, I'm in an actual thing.

[17:18] Like, look at me.

[17:19] Look at me on the screen.

[17:20] It's amazing.

[17:20] It looks like a real thing.

Elliott Kalan

[17:22] So tickets are available now.

[17:23] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events

[17:26] and you can buy them there.

[17:27] The online premiere will be April 27th

[17:29] and we will be there in the chat,

[17:31] chatting with you while the video goes on.

[17:34] We're going to watch it with you and chat to our fans.

Stuart Wellington

[17:36] I'll be watching the video, chatting,

[17:38] painting Warhammers, you know.

[17:39] Stuart might be doing that.

Dan McCoy

[17:41] I'll be paying full attention to you,

[17:43] the listener in the chat and chatting with you.

Elliott Kalan

[17:45] There's also going to be exclusive merchandise

[17:47] available for purchase,

[17:49] some of it featuring original art

[17:50] by the amazing Xander Cannon,

[17:52] who has done some portraits of us.

[17:55] And the show's available for the next three weeks after that.

[17:58] So April 27th premieres.

[18:00] It's still available to watch for three weeks after that.

[18:03] And then it returns to the Flophouse Vault.

[18:05] So please don't miss your chance

[18:06] to see the official professional video

[18:08] of the Flophouse Sinks Speed 2.

[18:10] And then we will be appearing live in person

[18:13] in another country, on another continent,

[18:16] on May 24th, or as they would say in England,

[18:19] 24 May, we'll be in Oxford, England.

[18:22] Very exciting.

[18:23] We're going to be doing two shows in one night

[18:25] as part of the Saint Audio Podcast Festival.

[18:27] 7 p.m., The Avengers, not the Marvel one.

[18:30] The one with Uma Thurman and Ray Fiennes

[18:31] that's based on the British TV show, The Bad One.

[18:34] Then at 9 p.m., Spice World.

[18:36] Two shows, one night.

[18:38] The first time we've ever done shows in England.

[18:39] We're so excited about it.

[18:41] We always want to do a show in Great Britain.

[18:43] We're finally doing it.

[18:44] Please come see us.

[18:46] Flophousepodcast.com slash events

[18:48] for buying tickets for both of these.

[18:50] The Flophouse Sinks Speed 2 online video release

[18:53] premiering April 27th,

[18:54] but you don't have to see it then if you can't,

[18:55] but that's when we're, we'll be watching it.

[18:56] And then 24th of May in Oxford, England.

[19:01] More live events as they come up,

[19:02] but those are the big ones coming up.

[19:03] We hope you can join us either through your computer

[19:05] or through the power of living in Oxford

[19:08] or traveling there.

[19:10] Flophousepodcast.com slash events

[19:12] for more information and to buy tickets.

[19:14] And for those of you looking to add more Elliot Kalin

[19:17] to your comic book collection,

[19:18] I'm excited to tell you that this week,

[19:20] Wednesday, April 10th,

[19:22] if you're listening to this,

[19:23] the week that it comes out,

[19:24] my new comic book, Hercules No. 1,

[19:27] from Dynamite Comics is coming out.

[19:29] It will be in stores this Wednesday, April 10th.

[19:31] It's the first of a projected 12 issue series,

[19:35] continuing the adventures of Hercules

[19:37] from the Disney film of the same name.

[19:39] For those of you who read my Hades miniseries

[19:41] from Dynamite,

[19:43] I think you will really enjoy this.

[19:44] It's still going to be as funny.

[19:45] It's going to have a lot more adventure.

[19:47] It's going to have a lot more character,

[19:49] more heart,

[19:49] but also again,

[19:50] it's going to be funny

[19:51] where Hercules is going to go on a series

[19:54] of short adventures

[19:55] that interact with other characters

[19:58] from Greek mythology

[19:58] that will in turn build

[20:00] into a much larger story.

[20:01] It turns out that

[20:02] as Hercules does jobs

[20:04] for each of the Greek gods,

[20:05] the Greek gods are going missing.

[20:07] They're disappearing.

[20:08] Someone's abducting them.

[20:09] Who could it be?

[20:10] What possible villain

[20:11] could be doing this?

[20:12] Well, you'll have to read the series

[20:13] to find out.

[20:14] I've had a lot of fun writing it.

[20:16] I think it's coming out really great.

[20:17] I think it looks great.

[20:18] And I think you'll enjoy it.

[20:20] It's kind of all ages fun

[20:21] in the Disney style,

[20:23] but with a heaping helping

[20:25] of Greek mythology.

[20:27] And I think it's coming out really great.

[20:29] So that's April 10th

[20:30] in comic stores.

[20:31] Hercules number one

[20:32] and that'll be monthly

[20:33] from that point on.

[20:35] And I should also mention

[20:35] that for any fans

[20:37] in the Los Angeles area

[20:38] on April 14th,

[20:40] that's a Sunday,

[20:41] I'm going to be at

[20:42] Golden Apple Comics

[20:43] signing it from noon

[20:44] until 2 p.m.

[20:45] I'm going to be signing copies

[20:45] of Hercules number one.

[20:47] Come on by.

[20:47] Pick one up.

[20:48] Say hello.

[20:49] Get one signed.

[20:50] You know who else

[20:50] is going to be there?

[20:51] Jordan Morris.

[20:52] That's right.

[20:53] Max fun neighbor,

[20:54] Jordan Morris,

[20:54] is going to be signing

[20:55] an Archie book

[20:56] that he worked on

[20:56] along with a couple

[20:58] of other writers

[20:58] and I believe artists

[21:00] that were also involved.

[21:01] I apologize

[21:01] that I don't remember

[21:02] their names,

[21:03] but I'll be there

[21:04] April 14th

[21:05] at Golden Apple Comics

[21:06] in Los Angeles

[21:07] signing from 12 to 2.

[21:08] Come on by.

[21:09] Buy a copy of Hercules number one.

[21:10] If you're not in Los Angeles,

[21:11] buy a copy anyway.

[21:12] You'll still enjoy it.

S5

[21:19] Thanks to everyone

[21:20] who contributed

[21:21] during this year's

[21:22] Max Fun Drive.

[21:23] We truly couldn't do

[21:24] what we do without you.

[21:26] With the drive

[21:26] in the rear view,

[21:27] it's time for another

[21:28] proud tradition,

[21:29] our annual charity pin sale.

[21:31] This year,

[21:32] the proceeds for the pin sale

[21:33] will support Vote Riders,

[21:35] a nonprofit dedicated

[21:36] to expanding ballot access

[21:38] nationwide.

[21:39] Members at $10 a month

[21:41] or more can purchase

[21:42] Max Fun Drive pins

[21:43] featuring shows

[21:44] from across the network

[21:45] and all members

[21:46] are able to buy

[21:47] our network pin design,

[21:49] exclusive to this charity sale.

[21:51] The sale is live now

[21:53] and it ends Friday,

[21:54] April 12th.

[21:55] For more info,

[21:56] head to maximumfun.org

[21:58] slash pin sale.

[22:00] And thanks again

[22:01] for your support.

S6

[22:03] from the twisted minds

[22:05] that brought you

[22:06] The Adventure Zone,

[22:08] Balance

[22:09] and Amnesty

[22:10] and Graduation

[22:11] and Ethersea

[22:12] and Steeplechase

[22:14] and Utr Space

[22:14] and all the other ones,

[22:17] the McElroy brothers

[22:18] and dad

[22:18] are proud to reveal

[22:19] a bold vision

[22:20] for the future

[22:21] of actual play podcasting.

[22:24] It's called

[22:26] The Adventure Zone

[22:27] versus Dracula.

[22:29] Yeah, we're gonna kill

[22:30] Dracula's ass.

[22:31] Well, we're gonna attempt,

[22:33] we haven't recorded

[22:33] all of it yet.

[22:34] We will attempt

[22:35] to kill Dracula's ass.

[22:36] The Adventure Zone

[22:37] versus Dracula.

[22:38] Yes, a season

[22:39] I will be running

[22:40] using the D&D 5th edition

[22:41] rule set

[22:43] and there's two episodes

[22:44] out for you to listen to

[22:45] right now.

[22:46] We hope you will join us

[22:47] same bat time,

[22:48] same bat channel

[22:49] for more fun.

[22:50] I see what you did there.

Tom Brokaw

[22:52] Well, if you're done

[22:53] with the promotional

[22:54] part of the show,

[22:55] I'd like to continue

[22:56] to promote my work.

[22:58] It feels like

[22:58] the least you could do

[23:00] is to now give me

[23:01] the space to finish

[23:02] my backer's presentation

[23:04] of Balaset on the Seach.

[23:07] I don't know

[23:07] if it's the least

Dan McCoy

[23:08] we could do.

[23:09] Yeah, I guess.

[23:09] You just sort of

[23:09] kind of wandered in here.

[23:11] I mean, you're not

[23:12] contributing your own

Tom Brokaw

[23:14] funding to the show

[23:15] unless perhaps

[23:16] I convinced you.

[23:17] So, now,

[23:19] the House of Atreides

[23:20] has fallen in Arrakis.

[23:21] Paul and his mother

[23:22] have escaped

[23:23] into the desert

[23:24] where the spice-laden air

[23:26] has already begun

[23:27] triggering Paul's

[23:29] latent superpowers,

[23:31] which he, of course,

[23:33] sings about

[23:33] in the following

[23:34] joyful song

[23:35] of Visions.

[23:38] Wonder of wonders,

[23:39] miracle of miracles,

[23:41] I see the future

[23:42] and it's bad.

[23:44] Billions of corpses,

[23:45] all because I want to fight

[23:46] even though I'm

[23:47] such a well-meaning lad.

[23:50] Wonders of wonders,

[23:51] miracle of miracles,

[23:52] I'll have to drink

[23:53] the water of life

[23:55] and if I live,

[23:56] I'll also teach

[23:57] the weirding way

[23:58] to these guys

[23:58] who fight with

[23:59] a Chris knife.

[24:00] So, that's his song

[24:01] where he finally gets

[24:02] into his future.

Elliott Kalan

[24:03] Well, labored,

[24:04] but I like it.

Tom Brokaw

[24:06] A lot of work went into it.

[24:07] Yes, thank you, Stuart,

[24:08] for recognizing that.

[24:09] Word is already

[24:10] spreading around Arrakis

[24:12] and if you think

[24:12] that song was labored,

[24:13] listen to this one.

[24:14] Word is already

[24:15] spreading around Arrakis

[24:16] that the Savior,

[24:17] foretold by the

[24:18] Bene Gesserit,

[24:18] has arrived.

[24:19] This only leads

[24:20] to more conflict

[24:21] as we see

[24:22] in a prophetic dream

[24:24] that Paul has

[24:25] in which he and his mother

[24:26] are being congratulated

[24:28] thusly.

[24:29] A blessing on your house,

[24:31] Haderach, Haderach,

[24:33] your son the Desert Mouse,

[24:35] Haderach, Haderach,

[24:36] at war he's really good,

[24:38] he rode the Shai Halud,

[24:40] the Kwisatz Haderach,

[24:41] and then his mother says,

[24:43] you must have heard wrong,

[24:44] Stilgar,

[24:46] there's no Kwisatz,

[24:48] just in Atreides,

[24:49] Stilgar,

[24:50] it's Lito's son Paul,

[24:51] and they argue

[24:52] back and forth about that

[24:53] until a crack of thunder,

[24:54] oh no,

[24:55] and they're all worried,

[24:56] oh,

[24:57] what nephew is this?

[24:58] My psychotic rage is shaken,

[25:00] could it be?

[25:01] Sure,

[25:01] why not?

[25:02] Who could be mistaken?

[25:04] It's Harkonnen's nephew

[25:05] fresh from the arena floor,

[25:07] it's the Baron's nephew

[25:08] armed with the Emperor's knife,

[25:09] Fade Ruth-a,

[25:13] and then of course

[25:13] they have a thing like that

[25:15] where there's a battle.

[25:16] Yeah,

[25:17] of course,

[25:18] Dune is a sprawling epic,

[25:21] I don't have time

[25:21] to tell you the whole story now,

[25:23] and to fit it all

[25:23] onto the Broadway stage,

[25:25] we have to do some trimming

[25:26] and lose some characters,

[25:28] but we,

[25:29] I promise you,

[25:30] we absolutely will make time

[25:31] as they did not in the movie,

[25:33] spoiler alert,

[25:33] for the subplot

[25:34] in which

[25:35] Mentat Thuverhawat

[25:37] mistakenly believes

[25:38] Lady Jessica

[25:39] has betrayed Duke Leto

[25:40] and so joins forces

[25:41] with the Baron Harkonnen

[25:43] in order to exact revenge,

[25:45] only to realize

[25:46] he has been deceived

[25:47] when he comes face to face

[25:48] once more

[25:49] with Paul

[25:50] as he sings

[25:50] the touching

[25:51] and moving song,

[25:53] Is this the little boy

[25:56] I worked for?

[25:58] Did I the little boy betray?

[26:02] I don't remember

[26:03] turning evil.

[26:06] Can a Mentat

[26:07] go insane?

[26:11] Thuverhawat,

[26:13] Thuverhawat,

[26:16] to serve,

[26:17] I was trained

[26:18] one Mentat

[26:20] following another.

[26:22] He literally takes

[26:23] the job of another

[26:24] Mentat

[26:24] with a computer

[26:26] for a brain,

[26:29] which is not

[26:29] literally true.

[26:30] They have turned away

[26:31] from computers

[26:32] because of the

[26:33] Butlerian Jihad

[26:34] and so forth.

[26:34] So,

[26:35] I just wanted

[26:36] to give you

[26:36] a little...

Stuart Wellington

[26:37] Oh, Dan,

[26:37] I'm sorry that

[26:38] you're getting

[26:38] this whole movie

[26:39] spoiled.

Dan McCoy

[26:39] Yeah,

[26:40] I mean,

[26:41] don't worry,

[26:41] I sort of,

[26:42] you know,

[26:43] my brain sort of

[26:43] went into a holding

[26:44] pattern to protect me.

[26:46] I hope that pattern

Tom Brokaw

[26:47] was holding the money

[26:48] we need to get

[26:49] this play off the ground

[26:50] and is then going

[26:50] to give it to me

[26:51] to hold.

[26:52] But that is all

[26:53] I could give to you

[26:54] for now.

[26:54] Unfortunately,

[26:55] I just had to give you

[26:56] a short taste

[26:57] of the play,

[26:58] but I will let you know

[26:59] I am working

[26:59] on the sequel

[27:00] so that whenever

[27:01] a ballast set player

[27:03] on the siege

[27:04] comes out,

[27:05] we can also

[27:05] do the sequel,

[27:07] which we'd like

[27:07] to hear a little bit

[27:08] of the song,

[27:09] which will,

[27:09] of course,

[27:10] be based on...

[27:10] I mainly want to hear

[27:10] the title.

[27:11] Yeah,

[27:11] well,

[27:12] so this is called

[27:15] Dune,

[27:16] this is called

[27:16] Marty Dib,

[27:20] the Demon Messiah

[27:21] of Arraka Street

[27:23] and I think you'll remember,

[27:25] I'll just say you

[27:25] a little bit of this,

[27:26] this is more

[27:26] of a work of progress,

[27:27] but the beginning

[27:28] where it says,

[27:29] attend the tale

[27:30] of Dune Messiah,

[27:31] he raised the stakes

[27:32] and raised them higher,

[27:33] he fought the houses

[27:35] and made them squirm,

[27:36] he did it all

[27:36] with the spice

[27:37] from a worm,

[27:38] he lit the universe

[27:39] of fire,

[27:40] the Dune Messiah,

[27:42] the Dune Messiah

[27:43] of Arraka Street.

[27:45] Yeah,

[27:45] and so I'm still

Dan McCoy

[27:46] working on it a little bit.

[27:46] I love that rhyme.

[27:47] I love it so much.

Tom Brokaw

[27:49] These are all original songs

[27:51] I've been slaving over

[27:52] for the past few years,

[27:54] past number of years,

[27:55] since my book,

[27:56] The Greatest Generation,

[27:57] came out.

[27:58] This has been the totality

[27:59] of where my effort

[28:01] has been going

[28:02] and it's just

[28:03] so gratifying to me

[28:05] to finally be able

[28:05] to release to the public

[28:07] a little bit of what

[28:08] I've been working on

[28:09] all this time.

[28:10] So, fellas,

[28:12] this is where the rubber

[28:13] meets the road.

[28:15] Do you feel like

[28:16] you have heard enough

[28:16] to perhaps take part

[28:18] in the theatrical event

[28:20] of a century

[28:21] or more?

Stuart Wellington

[28:22] Okay,

[28:23] so what are the reward tiers?

[28:26] How much do you have to give

[28:28] to get a digital copy?

Tom Brokaw

[28:30] You would be an investor

[28:31] in the play.

[28:32] You would receive profits

[28:33] when the play went into profits,

[28:35] which would be almost instantly.

[28:36] Immediately, yeah.

[28:37] I know that Hamilton

[28:38] made a lot of money

[28:40] and the story of Dune

[28:41] is both better

[28:42] and more important

[28:43] than the story

[28:44] of Alexander Hamilton

[28:45] and the songs,

[28:46] if I may be

[28:47] a little immodest,

[28:49] are a million times better.

[28:51] So, you would be receiving

[28:52] what they call

[28:53] Boku Bucks

[28:55] from the Bokso B.O.

[28:57] from the theater.

[28:59] A lot of B words.

[29:00] It's hard to ignore.

[29:00] So, again,

[29:00] this is not for charity.

[29:02] This is to be an investor

[29:04] in the play.

[29:05] Oh, okay.

[29:05] Of course, if the play fails,

[29:06] you will receive nothing,

[29:08] but that seems

[29:09] almost impossible

[29:10] to have happen.

Elliott Kalan

[29:11] You look at the Dune movies,

[29:13] which are hugely successful,

Stuart Wellington

[29:14] and they don't even

[29:15] have songs in them.

[29:16] This does feel

[29:17] a little bit like

[29:18] the offer

[29:19] that is made

[29:20] to Leto Atreides,

[29:21] where he can take over

[29:22] spice production on Arrakis.

[29:25] But,

Tom Brokaw

[29:26] if you're...

[29:26] Do things go good

[29:26] for him, Dan?

[29:27] Do you remember

[29:28] how the ones go

[29:28] from Dune Leto?

[29:29] If you're implying

[29:30] this is all a plan

[29:31] for me to murder

[29:32] both of you,

[29:32] you would be

[29:33] very incorrect.

[29:34] I, well,

Elliott Kalan

[29:35] perhaps when the profits

[29:36] roll in,

[29:37] I wouldn't want

Tom Brokaw

[29:37] to share them.

[29:38] Maybe I would consider

[29:40] committing

[29:41] the ultimate crime

[29:42] of the trial

[29:44] and murder.

[29:45] It is how I got

[29:46] the NBC Nightly News job,

[29:48] by murdering

[29:49] my predecessor,

[29:50] whose name escapes me now,

[29:51] and I hope is lost

[29:52] to the myths of history.

[29:53] I mean, big.

[29:54] recording this,

[29:55] are you?

Dan McCoy

[29:55] Well, yeah,

[29:56] we are.

[29:56] This is a big,

[29:57] we're breaking

[29:58] some big news here

[29:59] on our podcast.

Tom Brokaw

[30:00] Yeah, the big news

[30:01] that a ballast

[30:02] player on the siege,

[30:03] the Dune musical,

[30:04] is now ready

[30:05] for production

[30:06] as soon as it

[30:07] gets some backing.

[30:08] That's the big story

[30:09] we're scooping here today.

[30:09] And the big news

Stuart Wellington

[30:10] that we're not

[30:10] going to get murdered

[30:11] because I just had

[30:12] this fucking poison tooth

[30:14] stuck in my head,

[30:15] and if I'm not

[30:16] going to get murdered,

[30:16] what's the point?

[30:17] I might accidentally

[30:17] break it while I'm

[30:18] chomping down

[30:19] on a snack.

[30:20] Do you know

[30:21] what I'm talking about?

[30:21] No, I got no idea.

[30:24] So, what's the minimum

[30:26] investment you're asking

[30:27] here, Tommy?

Tom Brokaw

[30:28] Well, Tommy,

[30:31] also, of course,

[30:31] a famous musical,

[30:32] so I'm glad you're

[30:33] in the Broadway spirit.

[30:34] I'm glad that you

[30:35] are interested.

[30:36] I'll take whatever

[30:37] you want to give

[30:38] from $500,000

[30:40] all the way up

[30:41] to $500 million.

[30:43] The puppeteering effects

[30:44] for the worms

[30:45] will be quite expensive,

[30:47] but I think we can

[30:48] pull it off.

[30:48] The worms will be,

[30:49] of course, life-sized

[30:51] because on the Broadway

[30:51] stage, you can't

[30:53] fake anything.

[30:54] It has to be real.

[30:56] So, it will be a cast

[30:57] of many thousands,

[30:59] so we'll need

[31:00] a very big stage.

[31:01] We might have to do it

[31:02] at, say, a baseball stadium

[31:03] or football arena,

[31:06] but I think we can

[31:07] really make it,

[31:08] or I have been in talks

[31:10] with Julie Taymor

[31:11] to do a more abstract

[31:12] version of it,

[31:14] but, of course,

[31:14] those talks broke down

[31:16] very quickly

[31:16] when she would

[31:17] refuse to answer

[31:18] my first calls.

Dan McCoy

[31:20] Yeah, well, you know,

[31:22] I know you can

[31:22] understand this, Tom,

[31:23] but right now,

[31:24] all my money is tied up

[31:25] in paperback copies

[31:26] of Dune,

[31:27] so I'm sure

[31:28] they'll appreciate it

[31:29] over time.

[31:30] That is one of the

Tom Brokaw

[31:31] safest investments.

[31:32] Dune has never been

[31:33] worth zero, Dan.

[31:35] True.

Dan McCoy

[31:37] It's at record highs

[31:38] right now, I'm sure.

[31:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tom Brokaw

[31:40] This would be the time

[31:41] to sell,

[31:41] only I think

[31:42] the Dune-splosion

[31:43] is just beginning.

[31:44] The Dune movie

[31:45] is leading to,

[31:46] of course,

[31:46] the cycle of Dune

[31:47] musicals,

[31:49] which, of course,

[31:49] will lead to

[31:50] the creation

[31:51] of Dune on Earth

[31:53] when the United States

[31:54] of America,

[31:55] because, of course,

[31:55] becomes the United States

[31:57] of Dune,

[31:57] and the corpse

[31:58] of Frank Herbert

[31:59] is exhumed

[32:00] so that we may

[32:01] worship it

[32:01] as the visionary

[32:02] seer it is.

[32:04] Are you on board

[32:05] for that as well?

Stuart Wellington

[32:07] Well, wait.

[32:08] Speaking of Dune-splosions,

[32:09] now that we have you here,

[32:10] we've been getting

[32:10] a lot of emails

[32:11] asking for your thoughts

[32:12] on this.

[32:13] Of course,

[32:13] I'm sure you're familiar

[32:14] with the viral sensation

[32:15] of the Dune popcorn bucket.

[32:17] Tom, how many of those

[32:19] did you obtain,

[32:20] and did you have to

[32:21] wait in line long

[32:22] to get them?

Tom Brokaw

[32:23] The real question is,

[32:24] how many theaters

[32:25] have I been kicked out of

[32:26] for demanding

[32:27] they sell me

[32:28] their entire supply

[32:29] of Dune popcorn buckets?

[32:31] The answer

[32:32] may surprise you.

Dan McCoy

[32:35] I feel like

[32:35] anything one or above

[32:37] would surprise me.

[32:38] That is the...

[32:38] Then you will be surprised,

Stuart Wellington

[32:39] Daniel.

[32:41] I feel like

[32:42] that might be

[32:43] cutting into

[32:43] your own contribution

[32:44] to the production

[32:46] of your musical,

[32:47] financially speaking.

Tom Brokaw

[32:48] Well, you'll never know.

[32:50] Sometimes you enter

[32:51] into a sort of

[32:52] Dune frenzy.

[32:54] Perhaps it is

[32:55] as if I myself

[32:55] has sipped

[32:56] from the water of life

[32:57] and am overwhelmed

[32:59] by divisions

[32:59] of the future.

[33:00] It is a lot like that.

[33:00] And I wake up

[33:02] suddenly not remembering

[33:03] where I have been,

[33:05] surrounded by

[33:05] Dune sandworm

[33:07] mall popcorn buckets.

[33:09] Not perhaps

[33:09] the most pleasant

[33:10] sensation

[33:11] when you are

[33:12] reaching for

[33:12] some buttery

[33:13] theater popcorn

[33:14] to have the

[33:15] spiky teeth

[33:17] of Shai Halud,

[33:19] the maker,

[33:20] poking you

[33:22] as if

[33:22] the gum jabbar

[33:23] and the box

[33:24] in the gum jabbar

[33:25] test had been

[33:26] combined.

[33:27] And each one

[33:27] dipped with poison,

[33:29] these quills,

[33:30] as if held to your wrist

[33:31] by the Reverend Mother

[33:32] herself,

[33:32] when like a human,

[33:34] you would just want

[33:35] delicious popcorn.

[33:37] And unlike...

[33:37] Although now that I think

[33:38] of it,

[33:38] an animal will also

[33:39] eat popcorn.

[33:40] So perhaps...

[33:41] True, I've seen it.

[33:43] It is truly a test

[33:45] of whether

[33:45] the popcorn eater

[33:47] is human or not.

[33:47] A human,

[33:48] driven by

[33:49] the need to eat,

[33:50] will of course

[33:51] be able to

[33:51] ignore the pain

[33:53] knowing that

[33:53] the popcorn reward

[33:54] rests beyond it.

[33:56] Whereas an animal

[33:57] will pull its hand

[33:58] back receiving

[33:59] no popcorn.

Dan McCoy

[34:01] Well, I think

[34:02] that that yawn

[34:03] from Stuart

[34:03] really lets us

[34:06] know that maybe

[34:07] it's time to sign off.

[34:08] we can work out

[34:09] the financial details

[34:10] off the microphone.

[34:11] I'm so happy

[34:11] to have you

Tom Brokaw

[34:12] on board

[34:12] and I invite

[34:13] every other

[34:14] Flophouse fan

[34:14] to just mail money

[34:15] to me

[34:16] with maybe

[34:17] your name attached

[34:18] so I can put you

[34:18] on the list

[34:19] of investors.

[34:20] But I hope

[34:21] to open a

[34:21] Ballast Player

[34:22] on the Siege

[34:22] this fall

[34:23] on Broadway.

[34:24] Oh, this fall.

[34:25] So I really

[34:26] have to get moving.

Dan McCoy

[34:27] That doesn't give you...

[34:28] I mean,

[34:29] you're not going

[34:30] to do any

[34:30] sort of out-of-town

[34:31] type triads

[34:32] then I guess

[34:32] if you are still

[34:34] on the fundraising stage.

Tom Brokaw

[34:36] Well, we'll see.

[34:37] Now that I have

[34:38] the main funds

[34:38] on behalf of you

[34:40] fine gentlemen,

[34:40] thank you very much.

[34:41] Yeah, we sure

[34:42] he got us.

[34:43] Now I just have

[34:43] to put in a call

[34:44] to one

[34:45] to see if he will star

[34:47] in this soon-to-be-acclaimed

[34:49] perhaps Pulitzer-winning

[34:50] production.

[34:51] I'd like to thank

[34:52] everybody for listening

[34:53] and considering donating.

[34:55] This show is, of course,

[34:56] a MaxFun show.

[34:58] Thank you for your support

[34:59] during their recent

[35:00] MaxFun drive.

[35:02] It is only thanks

[35:03] to their support,

[35:04] your support,

[35:05] listeners of this show,

[35:06] that they can continue.

[35:07] Thank you so much

[35:08] for listening.

[35:09] Please subscribe

[35:11] to the podcast

[35:12] or write a good review

[35:13] wherever you get

[35:14] your podcasts.

[35:15] I'd also like to thank,

[35:16] of course,

[35:17] Alex Smith,

[35:18] the producer and editor

[35:19] of the show,

[35:20] who I assume

[35:21] will also be investing

[35:22] in the Dune franchise.

[35:25] If he does not,

[35:26] please feel free

[35:27] to tell him to

[35:28] at his online handle,

[35:30] Kyle Dawdy,

[35:32] under which he does

[35:33] his own work.

[35:35] Be sure that he knows

[35:36] that the American people

[35:37] want him to invest

[35:38] in the Dune musical.

[35:40] Daniel Stewart,

[35:42] is there anything else

[35:42] I should mention

[35:43] about Maximum Fun

[35:45] or any other thanks

[35:47] that need doing?

[35:48] If you would like to,

[35:49] of course,

[35:49] go to Maximum Fun

[35:51] where you can also

[35:51] buy Flophouse merchandise

[35:52] and also join now.

[35:57] it's not the drive,

[35:58] but you still can.

Dan McCoy

[35:59] I guess you could still.

[36:01] Yeah, no,

[36:02] just thank you for...

Tom Brokaw

[36:03] Perhaps purchase

[36:04] a Jumbotron

[36:05] and maybe even

[36:06] I will read it

[36:08] for you

[36:09] if you don't mind

[36:09] me inserting some...

[36:11] Certainly,

Stuart Wellington

[36:11] I'm sure you could get

[36:12] a cameo

[36:13] where Tom Brokaw

Tom Brokaw

[36:14] shows up.

[36:15] Flophouse is on cameo

[36:17] and it's possible

[36:18] that Tom Brokaw

[36:19] will be available.

[36:21] For the Flophouse,

[36:22] I'm Thomas Brokaw.

Dan McCoy

[36:25] I've been Dan McCoy.

[36:26] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[36:29] Bye!

[36:31] Goodbye

[36:31] and good Dune.

[36:39] Maximum Fun.

Elliott Kalan

[36:40] A worker-owned network

[36:41] of artist-owned shows

[36:43] supported

[36:44] directly

[36:45] by you.

FH Mini 100! - Elliott Looks Back

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