FH Mini 100! - Elliott Looks Back

[0:00] Hey floppers, this is Elliot talking before we get into this episode's classic flop house shenanigans

[0:05] I want to make sure you know about some upcoming live events. We are very excited about on April 27th at 7 p.m

[0:10] Eastern we are premiering online the professionally shot professionally edited online video of our speed to live show

[0:17] Dan Stewart and I will be there watching the show with you

[0:20] Text chatting with the audience throughout the entire thing can't make it on the 27th

[0:24] The video will be available to watch at your leisure through May 19th to see the trailer and buy tickets go to stagepilot.com

[0:32] Slash flop dash house dash speed dash 2 if you want to see us in person and you live in England

[0:38] Remember that on the 24th of May we'll be in Oxford doing our first and second ever UK live shows in one night 7 p.m

[0:45] We're talking the Avengers 9 p.m

[0:47] We're talking Spice World two shows one night for tickets and more information go to flop house podcast

[0:52] Dot-com slash events now, that's enough live show hype for me. Let's get to that patented flop house silliness. Take it away peaches

[1:05] Hello everybody, welcome to the flop house mini this is our

[1:09] 100th mini the flop house minis are something we introduced during I think the pandemic and it's a chance for us to do

[1:17] Silly things that the flop house doesn't normally do and today I'm joined by my regular flop house co-hosts introduce yourself guys

[1:24] Dan McCoy is my name. I'm Stuart Wellington and today

[1:28] I thought I'd take us on a little memory jaunt through minis past in what I call

[1:35] the hundred greatest moments of the first hundred minis so

[1:41] Starting with number 100. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh

[1:44] Wait a second. Sorry, there's somebody there's somebody at the door. Hold on. Yeah. Oh

[1:50] Yeah, come in. Yeah, okay

[1:52] guys

[1:55] Someone's gonna be I should have locked the door because well, hello there dad and Stuart it's me

[2:05] Famous news man. Oh, I'll take it from here. I don't know but we've got a whole thing. It's our hundredth mini

[2:11] We're really gonna celebrate it. I think I know I see your dad

[2:14] I believe you'll find two weeks ago on your very program

[2:18] You promised I could arrive and talk about the movie. Everyone's talking about

[2:25] Part two. I yeah, I did say you could do that. That's true guys

[2:29] I apologize that I kind of promised that to America's favorite newsman Tom

[2:33] Okay, I guess we can save your thing for a mini 101

[2:37] Yeah, I would say no spoilers since I haven't gotten around to it yet, but I have read the book doing so I guess I've already

[2:45] Well, Daniel, you're in luck because while I could talk about the masterful way that Danny

[2:55] Adapted the greatest novel in human history

[2:57] Some would say not so much a novel as a future history a history of past events that have not taken place yet

[3:06] I am NOT going to be talking purely about that movie today

[3:09] although I will note that it brings some of the weirdness back to doing which I

[3:15] Appreciate it. Yes, Dan. You have something to tell me. No. No, I just you know

[3:20] I'm just astounded by sort of the glottal stops and sort of

[3:24] breath pauses that

[3:27] That you managed to this is how you have to talk if you want to tell

[3:32] America the events of the world now

[3:35] I first I wanted to highlight one aspect of the film, which is Javier Barham's performance as still gar

[3:44] still gar it becomes a character who is both a

[3:48] religious believer and also a man of his tribe of

[3:52] Responsibility and also somewhat of a funny character and it led me to believe that Javier

[3:59] Might be the perfect casting for a

[4:02] Theatrical event. I have been trying to get off the ground for some time

[4:07] you may know that I am a little bit of a dabbler in the

[4:12] Tuneful parts you may say I wasn't aware of that

[4:15] Oh, well in addition to hosting NBC Nightly News for quite some time. I also am an amateur writer of

[4:23] Musicals stage musicals

[4:25] And I've been tinkering with a musical about my a favorite work of literature

[4:30] Dune for quite some time and I think that Javier Barham would be the perfect lead for this musical

[4:37] It's called a balisette player on the siege or some may call it a fiddler on the dune

[4:43] I've been looking for a backer for this play for quite some time and tells through music and dance the story of the

[4:49] Travails of the dune ish people and how they must find a homeland for themselves

[4:54] I thought this would be the perfect time because your podcast is so incredibly successful and is listened to by so many

[5:02] power players that I could present a sort of backers reading of

[5:07] some of the songs from the show so that they could hear them and then

[5:11] Fund my Javier Bardem starring and all the way run and like laser wolf sounds like a dune character

[5:18] Yeah, it does indeed

[5:20] It's only the mind of Frank Herbert or perhaps Sholom Aleichem could come up with a character named laser wolf

[5:27] so

[5:28] Without further ado. I would like to begin by introducing the show the way it would be introduced on stage unless you have a guess

[5:35] We're no no, no, would you like to fund the show without hearing anything?

[5:43] I'm looking for roughly

[5:46] Five hundred thousand dollars for the initial seed funding to then get the further

[5:51] Several million dollars it cost to put up a Broadway show

[5:54] We could start out of town for a lesser cost, but I do dream of ringing it to the great white way

[6:00] but it would begin with a you know, a sort of a sort of

[6:05] Ballisette sound and our main character or one of our main characters would emerge this

[6:12] of course

[6:12] I think would be Javier Bardem because he'll be maybe the biggest star in the cast or if we're lucky the

[6:18] smallest star in the cast that even bigger names to be in the show and he will say a

[6:24] Ballisette player on the siege

[6:27] Sounds crazy. No, but you could say that each of us in our city of Arakeen is a ballisette player on the siege

[6:35] Trying to eke out a simple rendition of the prophecy without being swallowed by the mall. Oh, I hallowed

[6:41] Mm-hmm. Why do we stay here? We stay because after a lifetime on Arrakis we are addicted to air that contains the spice melange

[6:48] How do we keep our balance that I can't answer in one word?

[6:53] Because we're Fremen and then the music starts up bump bump bump bump bump bump bump. We're Fremen

[6:59] We're Fremen

[7:01] We're Fremen sure

[7:04] We're Fremen

[7:06] We're Fremen our

[7:08] Knowledge that the Kwisatz Haderach is coming has allowed us to keep our balance for many years because of the prophecy

[7:13] We always know how to do everything how to walk on sand how to suck water out of the bodies of our enemies

[7:19] How to wear clothes for instance, we always wear our steel suits

[7:23] This shows our constant devotion to not wasting our urine. You may ask when is the Kwisatz Haderach coming?

[7:30] I'll tell you I don't know

[7:32] It's a laugh line

[7:33] But the Bene Gesserit tell us he is and that we better be ready for him and then the music starts again bump bump

[7:39] Oh day and night must ride on all the sandworms

[7:42] Calibrate the thumpers say his daily prayers and who has the right as master of this each to speak at the Southern Council

[7:49] the Stilgar

[7:53] We're Fremen there's a lot more Dan the Stilgar

[7:56] The Stilgar

[7:58] We're Fremen did a little it now more of the cash comes out who must know the way to spread a prophecy

[8:04] For centuries we been a geez who must use the voice to silence blast for me

[8:09] So Paul is free to be the Haderach bump bump bump Reverend mother

[8:15] the mother

[8:17] We're Fremen and then more music at three I lived on Caledon as a teen I came to Dune I

[8:24] Hear I'll spark a bloody jihad. I hope I don't

[8:30] Madi

[8:31] Madi, anyway, I feel like that's a Ben. I think

[8:35] You didn't bother to do what you know

[8:37] Someone might do when they're pitching a thing and bring in like a piano player or someone no dad. I don't provide the music

[8:44] I don't have sort of a

[8:47] Etc motion, I'm doing this because I don't have the funds for those things. Okay. Sure. I wouldn't have to do it

[8:53] And there goes the ways of the Fremen without them would be as shaky as as

[8:58] as a ballast player on the roof

[9:02] Then we go to the court of the Padishah Emperor Shaddam the fourth where we find that some members of the spacing guild

[9:08] Yearn for a strong leader who can keep them supplied with the precious resource

[9:12] They need to do their work and they begin their song

[9:15] Harkonnen Harkonnen bring me some spice the spice it must flow

[9:20] Easy and nice Harkonnen Harkonnen, I must fold space. So bring me some perfect spice and

[9:29] Then one one of them steps out

[9:31] Harkonnen Harkonnen, I'm a third stage guild navigator in a tank like a cage

[9:37] Bring me some spice so space I can roam

[9:40] Piloting ships for chome now chome isn't in the movies per se, but that's the interstellar trading organization from the novel, please

[9:48] Rob on we need spice production the galactic economy can't function if it's ceased if

[9:54] Anyone can stop harvest interruptions. We assume it's the man who they call the beast and

[10:00] Anyway, that song goes on for a little bit as well.

[10:02] Yes, Dan, are you ready to invest

[10:03] because there's more music if you're not.

[10:05] I'm just reflecting on how, you know,

[10:08] like we just finished the Max Fund Drive

[10:10] and it really like punches up the importance of,

[10:14] you know, supporting independent media

[10:15] because certainly no one else would put this on the air.

[10:19] This was, if I can break character for a moment

[10:22] and then I'll get back to the illusion.

[10:23] I was, the other night I was doing this and I was like,

[10:26] saying to my wife, I was like, it writes itself.

[10:28] And she goes, I don't think it does right now.

[10:30] It was just coming to me so quickly.

[10:33] You're just so deeply steeped in,

[10:36] you've become the character of Tom Brokaw,

[10:38] loving June.

[10:39] Well, at the same time being a Jew

[10:41] who knows all the words to fill on the roof.

[10:42] Now, okay, now if I could,

[10:44] Elliot, if I could step in, please.

[10:45] Sure, sure, Mr. Brokaw.

[10:47] Now that the show has set up the complicated economics

[10:50] and politics of Frank Herbert's visionary world,

[10:52] we must turn to its metaphysics.

[10:54] So as a young Paul Atreides is serenaded

[10:57] by Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mayim of the Bene Gesserit,

[11:01] as she gives him the test that will set him on the path

[11:04] to triumph and tragedy, singing to him.

[11:07] How can I hope to make you understand?

[11:11] Don't you move your right hand.

[11:15] Keep it in that small box or I will land

[11:19] on your neck with my gum jaw bar.

[11:22] See, if you're a human, you'll withstand the pain.

[11:26] That to me makes it plain.

[11:30] If you're an animal that I disdain,

[11:33] I'll kill with my gum jaw bar.

[11:36] So that's another song.

[11:37] It's touching.

[11:38] And it's certainly a lullaby.

[11:40] It is.

[11:42] But that would have to go.

[11:43] Duke Leto, of course,

[11:44] is ordered to take control of Arrakis,

[11:46] which he recognizes as a trap,

[11:47] but he also knows he cannot turn down this order.

[11:50] And so he goes into the stables of Caledon

[11:53] to sing about this contradiction.

[11:56] Oh, Lord, you want to put my house in charge of Arrakis?

[12:00] I realize, of course, it's no shame to control Arrakis,

[12:03] but it's no great honor either.

[12:05] If we take Arrakis,

[12:07] yabba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba doon.

[12:11] All day long, I'd wish we were back home.

[12:13] If we take Arrakis, man, I know I wouldn't like it.

[12:18] Yabba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba doon.

[12:21] If I were the biddy biddy boss.

[12:26] Of yiddle diddle diddle doodle doon.

[12:30] I'd build a big tall complex,

[12:34] shields by the dozens,

[12:35] right in the center of the sand.

[12:38] Go out on inspections,

[12:40] riding in the thopter planes.

[12:42] Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee.

[12:43] There'd be just one big harvester,

[12:46] scooping spice up and into a worm falling down.

[12:50] Cause if the spice doesn't flow,

[12:51] I know I'll get the blame.

[12:54] So that song goes on for a while also.

[12:56] Still a banger, even if you make it about Dune.

[12:58] Yeah, it's a great, it's an original.

[13:00] Thank you, Dan.

[13:01] So we have one more song before we reach the intermission.

[13:04] So I'll just do this final song

[13:06] before we get to the intermission of the show.

[13:08] The Duke's Misgivings, of course they are correct.

[13:10] And the Harkonnens backed up by the Emperor's personal troops

[13:13] stormed the Atreides compound, killing many.

[13:15] And this is a massive dance number

[13:17] that is sung by the Sardaukar troops

[13:20] as they are butchering their way through,

[13:23] but also dancing.

[13:24] And it says, to fight, to fight, Sardaukar.

[13:27] Sardaukar, Sardaukar, to fight.

[13:30] It's the Atreides we want to kill.

[13:32] All of the blood will spill.

[13:34] Sardaukar, to fight.

[13:36] God would like us to destroy the Duke.

[13:39] And by God, we mean the Emperor.

[13:41] Cause they worship the Emperor, you see.

[13:42] To help Dr. Yu, we place the poison tooth.

[13:45] We'll leave Leto lying on the floor.

[13:48] We killed Duncan, Idaho.

[13:51] We'll kill all Atreides we find.

[13:54] And if not all, their blood is shed.

[13:56] At least there'll be lots of dead.

[13:57] Sardaukar, to fight.

[14:01] And there's a lot of dancing after that.

[14:03] And it leads, of course, to a huge applause number.

[14:06] People love it.

[14:07] They go crazy.

[14:07] I mean, I don't think you can dictate that

[14:09] as the writer of the show.

[14:10] I wrote it into the script.

[14:11] Huge applause.

[14:12] Audience goes crazy.

[14:13] Like the Wonka thing?

[14:15] Like the A.I. Wonka script

[14:16] that describes how the people attending

[14:18] would be enraptured in joy and love it.

[14:20] The intermission hits at that point.

[14:22] Curtain falls.

[14:23] People say, what's gonna happen

[14:24] in A Ballet Set on the Siege, part two?

[14:27] And I believe you have some sponsors

[14:29] that you'd like to mention in the episode

[14:32] as we go to the intermission of A Ballet Set on the Siege.

[14:35] Dan, who do we have sponsoring this revolutionary audition?

[14:41] I'll do both of the sponsors

[14:42] and then I'll toss it back to our mutual friend, Elliot,

[14:45] for some words about some live shows we got coming up.

[14:49] And our first sponsor is Squarespace,

[14:51] which is the all-in-one website platform

[14:53] for entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs.

[14:57] I believe that's how you're gonna spell it.

[14:58] I believe it's pronounced entrepreneur.

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[15:58] And if you wanna set up an online store

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[16:05] Squarespace has the tools that you need for that as well.

[16:09] So why not go to squarespace.com for a free trial?

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[16:22] We've got some exciting things

[16:23] in the Flophouse live show universe.

[16:26] We are releasing this not long after our triumphant return

[16:30] to the Bell House in Brooklyn,

[16:32] and we have some more exciting live things going up.

[16:35] First of all, first of all,

[16:37] we did some shows in Los Angeles last year,

[16:40] at the end of last year, that were great shows.

[16:42] So great, we felt it was unfair to keep them in Los Angeles

[16:45] and only let those people see them.

[16:47] We had to let the world see it.

[16:49] We had to release these jokes into the wild

[16:51] so that everyone could enjoy them.

[16:53] And that's why on April 27th,

[16:55] we will be having our internet premiere

[16:57] for the video of the Flophouse Sync Speed 2,

[16:59] our Speed 2 live show.

[17:01] Tickets are on sale right now from StagePilot,

[17:04] the company that has done an amazing job

[17:06] of shooting and editing the show.

[17:08] It looks so incredibly professional and cool.

[17:10] It's like, better than Stop Making Sense, probably, Dan, right?

[17:13] I wouldn't go that far, but I watch these things

[17:16] and I'm like, wow, I'm in an actual thing.

[17:18] Like, look at me, look at me on the screen.

[17:20] It's amazing.

[17:21] It's like a real thing.

[17:22] So tickets are available now.

[17:23] Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events,

[17:26] and you can buy them there.

[17:27] The online premiere will be April 27th,

[17:29] and we will be there in the chat,

[17:31] chatting with you while the video goes on.

[17:34] We're gonna watch it with you and chat to our fans.

[17:35] I'll be watching the video, chatting,

[17:38] painting Warhammers, you know, my own normal day.

[17:41] Stuart might be doing that.

[17:41] I'll be paying full attention to you, the listener,

[17:44] in the chat and chatting with you.

[17:45] There's also gonna be exclusive merchandise

[17:47] available for purchase.

[17:49] Some of it featuring original art

[17:50] by the amazing Xander Cannon,

[17:53] who has done some portraits of us.

[17:55] And the show's available for the next three weeks after that.

[17:58] So April 27th premieres.

[18:00] It's still available to watch for three weeks after that,

[18:03] and then it returns to the Flophouse Vault.

[18:05] So please don't miss your chance

[18:06] to see the official professional video

[18:08] of the Flophouse Sinks Speed 2.

[18:10] And then we will be appearing live in person

[18:13] in another country, on another continent,

[18:16] on May 24th, or as they would say in England, 24 May.

[18:20] We'll be in Oxford, England.

[18:22] Very exciting.

[18:23] We're gonna be doing two shows in one night

[18:25] as part of the St. Audio Podcast Festival,

[18:27] 7 p.m., the Avengers, not the Marvel one.

[18:30] The one with Uma Thurman and Ray Fiennes

[18:32] that's based on a British TV show, the bad one.

[18:34] Then at 9 p.m., Spice World.

[18:37] Two shows, one night.

[18:38] The first time we've ever done shows in England.

[18:40] We're so excited about it.

[18:41] We always wanna do a show in Great Britain.

[18:43] We're finally doing it.

[18:44] Please come see us.

[18:46] Flophousepodcast.com slash events

[18:48] for buying tickets for both of these.

[18:50] The Flophouse Sinks Speed 2 online video release

[18:53] premiering April 27th,

[18:54] but you don't have to see it then if you can't,

[18:55] but that's when we'll be watching it.

[18:57] And then 24th of May in Oxford, England.

[19:01] More live events as they come up,

[19:02] but those are the big ones coming up.

[19:03] We hope you can join us either through your computer

[19:06] or through the power of living in Oxford or traveling there.

[19:10] Flophousepodcast.com slash events

[19:12] for more information and to buy tickets.

[19:14] And for those of you looking to add more Elliot Kalin

[19:17] to your comic book collection,

[19:18] I'm excited to tell you that this week,

[19:20] Wednesday, April 10th, if you're listening to this,

[19:23] the week that it comes out,

[19:24] my new comic book, Hercules, number one,

[19:27] from Dynamite Comics is coming out and will be in stores

[19:30] this Wednesday, April 10th.

[19:32] It's the first of a projected 12 issue series,

[19:36] continuing the adventures of Hercules

[19:37] from the Disney film of the same name.

[19:39] For those of you who read my Hades miniseries from Dynamite,

[19:43] I think you will really enjoy this.

[19:44] It's still gonna be as funny.

[19:46] It's gonna have a lot more adventure.

[19:47] It's gonna have a lot more character, more heart,

[19:50] but also again, it's gonna be funny.

[19:51] Where Hercules is going to go on a series of short adventures

[19:56] that interact with other characters from Greek mythology

[19:59] that will in turn,

[20:00] build into a much larger story.

[20:01] It turns out that as Hercules does jobs

[20:04] for each of the Greek gods,

[20:05] the Greek gods are going missing.

[20:07] They're disappearing.

[20:08] Someone's abducting them.

[20:09] Who could it be?

[20:10] What possible villain could be doing this?

[20:12] Well, you'll have to read the series to find out.

[20:14] I've had a lot of fun writing it.

[20:16] I think it's coming out really great.

[20:17] I think it looks great.

[20:18] And I think you'll enjoy it.

[20:20] It's kind of all ages fun in the Disney style,

[20:23] but with a keeping helping of Greek mythology.

[20:27] And I think it's coming out really great.

[20:29] So that's April 10th in comic stores,

[20:31] Hercules number one,

[20:32] and that'll be monthly from that point on.

[20:35] And I should also mention that for any fans

[20:37] in the Los Angeles area,

[20:38] on April 14th, that's a Sunday,

[20:41] I'm going to be at Golden Apple Comics,

[20:43] signing it from noon until 2 p.m.

[20:45] I'm gonna be signing copies of Hercules number one.

[20:47] Come on by, pick one up, say hello, get one signed.

[20:50] You know who else is gonna be there?

[20:51] Jordan Morris.

[20:52] That's right.

[20:53] Mac's fun neighbor, Jordan Morris,

[20:54] is gonna be signing an Archie book that he worked on

[20:57] along with a couple of other writers

[20:59] and I believe artists that were also involved.

[21:01] I apologize that I don't remember their names,

[21:03] but I'll be there April 14th

[21:05] at Golden Apple Comics in Los Angeles,

[21:07] signing from 12 to two.

[21:08] Come on by, buy a copy of Hercules number one.

[21:10] If you're not in Los Angeles, buy a copy anyway.

[21:13] You'll still enjoy it.

[21:14] ♪♪

[21:19] Thanks to everyone who contributed

[21:21] during this year's Mac's Fun Drive.

[21:23] We truly couldn't do what we do without you.

[21:26] With the drive in the rear view,

[21:27] it's time for another proud tradition,

[21:29] our annual charity pin sale.

[21:31] This year, the proceeds for the pin sale

[21:33] will support VoteRiders,

[21:35] a nonprofit dedicated to expanding ballot access nationwide.

[21:39] Members at $10 a month or more

[21:42] can purchase Mac's Fun Drive pins

[21:43] featuring shows from across the network

[21:46] and all members are able to buy our network pin design

[21:49] exclusive to this charity sale.

[21:51] The sale is live now and it ends Friday, April 12th.

[21:55] For more info, head to maximumfun.org slash pinsale.

[22:00] And thanks again for your support.

[22:04] From the twisted minds that brought you

[22:07] the Adventure Zone, Balance and Amnesty

[22:10] and Graduation and Ethersea

[22:13] and Steeplechase and Ultra Space

[22:15] and all the other ones,

[22:17] the McElroy brothers and dad are proud to reveal

[22:20] a bold vision for the future of actual play podcasting.

[22:24] It's called the Adventure Zone versus Dracula.

[22:29] Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass.

[22:31] Well, we're gonna attempt,

[22:32] we haven't recorded all of it yet.

[22:34] We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass.

[22:36] The Adventure Zone versus Dracula.

[22:38] Yes, a season I will be running

[22:40] using the D&D 5th edition rule set

[22:43] and there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now.

[22:45] We hope you will join us.

[22:47] Same bat time, same bat channel for more fun.

[22:50] I see what you did there.

[22:52] Well, if you're done with the promotional part of the show,

[22:55] I'd like to continue to promote my work.

[22:58] It feels like the least you could do

[23:00] is to now give me the space to finish my backers presentation

[23:04] of A Balancet on the Siege.

[23:07] I don't know if it's the least we could do.

[23:09] Yeah, I guess.

[23:10] Just sort of kind of wandered in here.

[23:11] I mean, you're not contributing your own funding

[23:15] to the show unless perhaps I convince you.

[23:18] So now the House of Atreides has fallen in Arrakis.

[23:21] Paul and his mother have escaped into the desert

[23:25] where the spice-laden air has already begun

[23:28] triggering Paul's latent superpowers,

[23:31] which he, of course, sings about

[23:33] in the following joyful song of visions.

[23:38] Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles,

[23:41] I see the future and it's bad.

[23:44] Billions of corpses, all because I wanna fight

[23:47] even though I'm such a well-meaning lad.

[23:49] Wonders of wonders, miracle of miracles,

[23:52] I'll have to drink the water of life.

[23:55] And if I live, I'll also teach the weirding way

[23:58] to these guys who fight with a Chris knife.

[24:00] So that's his song where he finally gets into his future.

[24:03] Well-labored, but I like it.

[24:05] A lot of work went into it.

[24:07] Yes, thank you, Stuart, for recognizing that.

[24:09] Word is already spreading around Arrakis.

[24:12] And if you think that song was labored, listen to this one.

[24:14] Word is already spreading about Arrakis

[24:16] that the savior foretold by the bed of Jezer has arrived.

[24:19] This only leads to more conflict

[24:22] as we see in a prophetic dream that Paul has

[24:25] in which he and his mother are being congratulated thusly.

[24:30] A blessing on your house, Hadarach, Hadarach.

[24:33] Your son, the desert mouse, Hadarach, Hadarach.

[24:36] At war, he's really good.

[24:38] He rode the Shai-Halud, the Kwisatz Haderach.

[24:41] And then his mother says,

[24:43] you must have heard wrong, Shilgar.

[24:46] There's no Kwisatz, just an Atreides.

[24:49] Shilgar, it's little son, Paul.

[24:51] And they argue back and forth about that

[24:53] until a crack of thunder.

[24:54] Oh no, and they're all worried.

[24:56] Oh, what nephew is this?

[24:58] My psychotic rage is shaken.

[25:00] Could it be?

[25:01] Sure, why not?

[25:02] Who could be mistaken?

[25:04] It's Harkonnen's nephew, fresh from the arena floor.

[25:07] It's the baron's nephew armed with the emperor's knife.

[25:09] Fe-ru-tha, Fe-ru-tha, Fe-ru-tha, Fe-ru-tha, Fe-ru-tha.

[25:13] And then of course, they have a thing like that

[25:15] where there's a battle.

[25:16] Yeah.

[25:17] Of course, of course, Dune is a sprawling epic.

[25:21] I don't have time to tell you the whole story now.

[25:23] And to fit it all onto the Broadway stage,

[25:25] we have to do some trimming and lose some characters.

[25:28] But we, I promise you, we absolutely will make time,

[25:31] as they did not in the movie, spoiler alert,

[25:33] for the subplot in which Mentat Thuvir Hawat

[25:37] mistakenly believes Lady Jessica has betrayed Duke Leto,

[25:40] and so joins forces with the baron Harkonnen

[25:43] in order to exact revenge,

[25:45] only to realize he has been deceived

[25:47] when he comes face to face once more with Paul

[25:50] as he sings the touching and moving song.

[25:54] Is this the Leto boy I worked for?

[25:59] Did I, the Leto boy, betray?

[26:02] I don't remember turning evil.

[26:06] Can a Mentat go insane?

[26:10] Thuvir Hawat, Thuvir Hawat.

[26:16] To serve, I was trained.

[26:19] One Mentat following another.

[26:22] He literally takes the job of another Mentat.

[26:25] With a computer for a brain.

[26:29] Which is not literally true.

[26:30] They have turned away from computers

[26:32] because of the Butlerian Jihad and so forth.

[26:34] So, I just wanted to give you a little-

[26:37] Oh, Dan, I'm sorry that you're getting

[26:38] this whole movie spoiled.

[26:39] So, yeah, I mean, don't worry.

[26:41] I sort of, you know, my brain sort of went

[26:44] into a holding pattern to protect me.

[26:46] I hope that pattern was holding the money we need

[26:48] to get this play off the ground

[26:50] and is then going to give it to me to hold.

[26:52] But that is all I could give to you for now.

[26:54] Unfortunately, I just had to give you

[26:56] a short taste of the play,

[26:58] but I will let you know I am working on the sequel

[27:01] so that whenever a Balliset player on the stage comes out,

[27:05] we can also do the sequel.

[27:07] Would you like to hear a little bit of the song,

[27:09] which will, of course, be based on-

[27:10] I mainly want to hear the title of the sequel.

[27:12] So, this is called, this is called,

[27:15] Dune, this is called, this is called

[27:19] Marty Dib, the Demon Messiah of Arrakis Street.

[27:23] And I think you'll remember,

[27:25] I'll just say a little bit of this.

[27:26] This is more of a work in progress,

[27:27] but the beginning where it says,

[27:29] attend the tale of Dune Messiah.

[27:31] He raised the stakes and raised them higher.

[27:34] He fought the houses and made them squirm.

[27:36] He did it all with the spice from a worm.

[27:38] He lit the universe on fire.

[27:40] Did Dune Messiah.

[27:42] The Dune Messiah of Arrakis Street.

[27:45] Yeah, and so I'm still, I'm still working on it.

[27:46] I love that rhyme.

[27:47] I love it so much.

[27:49] All original, these are all original songs

[27:51] I've been slaving over for the past few years,

[27:54] past number of years,

[27:55] since my book, The Greatest Generation came out.

[27:58] This has been the totality

[28:00] of where my effort has been going.

[28:02] And it's just so gratifying to me

[28:05] to finally be able to release to the public

[28:07] a little bit of what I've been working on all this time.

[28:10] So, fellas, this is where the rubber meets the road.

[28:15] Do you feel like you have heard enough

[28:16] to perhaps take part in the theatrical event

[28:20] of a century or more?

[28:22] Okay, so what's the, what are the reward tiers?

[28:26] Like, what do, how much do I have to give

[28:28] to get like a digital copy?

[28:30] You would be an investor in the play.

[28:32] You would receive profits when the play went into profits.

[28:35] It would be almost instantly.

[28:37] Immediately, yeah.

[28:37] I know that Hamilton made a lot of money

[28:41] and the story of Dune is both better

[28:42] and more important than the story of Alexander Hamilton.

[28:45] And the songs, if I may be a little immodest,

[28:49] are a million times better.

[28:51] So you would be receiving what they call Boku Bucks

[28:55] from the Boko B.O. from the theater.

[28:59] A lot of B words.

[29:00] So again, this is not, this is not for charity.

[29:02] This is to be an investor in the play.

[29:05] Of course, if the play fails, you will receive nothing,

[29:08] but that seems almost impossible to have happen.

[29:11] You look at the Dune movies, which are hugely successful,

[29:14] and they don't even have songs in them.

[29:16] This does feel a little bit like the offer

[29:19] that is made to Leto Atreides,

[29:21] where he can take over spice production on Arrakis.

[29:25] But if things go good for him,

[29:27] do you remember how things go for D. Leto?

[29:29] If you're implying this is all a plan

[29:31] for me to murder both of you, you would be very incorrect.

[29:34] I, well, perhaps when the profits roll in,

[29:37] I wouldn't want to share them.

[29:38] Maybe I would consider committing the ultimate crime.

[29:42] I don't think you should say that

[29:43] right into the microphone.

[29:44] And murder.

[29:45] It is how I got the NBC Nightly News job,

[29:48] by murdering my predecessor, whose name escapes me now,

[29:51] and I hope is lost to the mists of history.

[29:53] I mean, big.

[29:54] You're not recording this, are you?

[29:55] Well, yeah, we are.

[29:56] This is a big, we're breaking some big news here on.

[30:00] Yeah, the big news that a ballet set player on the stage, the Dune Musical, is now ready

[30:05] for production as soon as it gets some backing.

[30:08] That's the big story.

[30:09] And the big news that we're not going to get murdered because I just had this fucking poison

[30:13] tooth stuck in my head, and if I'm not going to get murdered, what's the point?

[30:17] I might accidentally break it while I'm chomping down on a snack.

[30:19] Do you know what I'm talking about?

[30:21] No, I got no idea.

[30:24] So what's the minimum investment you're asking here, Tommy?

[30:28] Well, anyway, Tommy, also, of course, a famous musical, so I'm glad you're in the Broadway

[30:33] spirit.

[30:34] I'm glad that you are interested.

[30:36] I'll take whatever you want to give, from $500,000 all the way up to $500 million.

[30:43] The puppeteering effects for the worms will be quite expensive, but I think we can pull

[30:47] it off.

[30:48] The worms will be, of course, life-size, because on the Broadway stage, you can't fake anything.

[30:54] It has to be real.

[30:55] So it will be a cast of many thousands, so we'll need a very big stage.

[31:01] We might have to do it at, say, a baseball stadium or football arena, but I think we

[31:07] can really make it, or I have been doing talks with Julie Taymor to do a more abstract version

[31:13] of it, but of course, those talks broke down very quickly when she would refuse to answer

[31:18] my first calls.

[31:20] Yeah, you know, I know you can understand this, Tom, but right now, all my money is

[31:24] tied up in paperback copies of Dune, so I'm sure they'll appreciate it over time.

[31:29] Oh, that is one of the safest investments.

[31:32] Dune has never been worth zero, Dan.

[31:34] True.

[31:35] It's at record highs right now, I'm sure.

[31:40] This would be the time to sell, only I think the Dune-splosion is just beginning.

[31:44] The Dune movie is leading to, of course, the cycle of Dune musicals, which of course will

[31:49] lead to the creation of Dune on Earth when the United States of America, because of course,

[31:55] becomes the United States of Dune, and the corpse of Frank Herbert is exhumed so that

[32:00] we may worship it as the visionary seer it is.

[32:05] Are you on board for that as well?

[32:06] Well, wait, speaking of Dune-splosions, now that we have you here, we've been getting

[32:10] a lot of emails asking for your thoughts on this.

[32:13] Of course, I'm sure you're familiar with the viral sensation of the Dune popcorn bucket.

[32:17] Tom, how many of those did you obtain, and did you have to wait in line long to get them?

[32:22] The real question is, how many theaters have I been kicked out of for demanding they sell

[32:28] me their entire supply of Dune popcorn buckets?

[32:31] The answer may surprise you.

[32:33] I mean, anything one or above would surprise me.

[32:37] Then you will be surprised, Daniel.

[32:41] I feel like that might be cutting into your own contribution to the production of your

[32:46] musical, financially speaking.

[32:48] Well, you never know.

[32:51] Sometimes you enter into a sort of Dune frenzy.

[32:54] Perhaps it is if I myself has sifted from the water of life and am overwhelmed by the

[32:59] visions of the future.

[33:00] It is a lot like that.

[33:01] And I wake up suddenly not remembering where I have been, surrounded by Dune sandworm maw

[33:07] popcorn buckets.

[33:09] Not perhaps the most pleasant sensation when you are reaching for some buttery theater

[33:13] popcorn to have the spiky teeth of Shai-Hulud, the maker, poking you as if the Gom-Jabar

[33:23] and the box in the Gom-Jabar test had been combined.

[33:27] And each one dipped with poison, these quills, as if held to your wrist by the Reverend Mother

[33:32] herself.

[33:33] When, like a human, you would just want delicious popcorn.

[33:36] And unlike, although now that I think of it, an animal will also eat popcorn.

[33:40] So perhaps it is truly a test of whether the popcorn eater is human or not.

[33:47] A human driven by the need to eat will, of course, be able to ignore the pain, knowing

[33:53] that the popcorn reward rests beyond it, whereas an animal will pull its hand back, receiving

[33:59] no popcorn.

[34:00] Hmm.

[34:01] Well, I think that that yawn from Stuart really lets us know that maybe it's time to sign

[34:08] off.

[34:09] We can work out the financial details.

[34:10] I'm so happy to have you on board.

[34:12] And I invite every other Flophouse fan to just mail money to me with maybe your name

[34:17] attached so I can put you on the list of investors.

[34:20] But I hope to open a battle set player on the stage this fall on Broadway.

[34:25] So I really have to get moving.

[34:27] That doesn't give you I mean, like that you're not going to do any sort of out of town talk

[34:31] trats.

[34:32] Then I guess if you are still in the fundraising stage, well, we'll see.

[34:37] Now that I have the main funds on behalf of you, fine gentlemen, thank you.

[34:41] Yeah, we got us.

[34:43] Now I just have to put in a call to one to see if he will start in this soon to be acclaimed,

[34:49] perhaps Pulitzer winning production.

[34:51] I'd like to thank everybody for listening and considering donating.

[34:55] This show is, of course, a Max Fun show.

[34:58] Thank you for your support during the recent Max Fun drive.

[35:02] It is only thanks to your support, your support, listeners of this show, that they can continue

[35:07] to grow.

[35:08] Thank you so much for listening.

[35:09] Please subscribe to the podcast or write a good review wherever you get your podcast.

[35:15] I'd also like to thank, of course, Alex Smith, the producer and editor of the show, who I

[35:20] assume will also be investing in the Dune franchise.

[35:25] If he does not, please feel free to tell him to at his online handle under which he does

[35:33] his own work.

[35:35] Be sure that he knows that the American people want him to invest in the Dune musical.

[35:40] Daniel Stewart, is there anything else I should mention about Maximum Fun or any other things

[35:47] that need doing?

[35:48] If you would like to, of course, go to Maximum Fun, where you can also buy Flawed House merchandise

[35:53] and also join now.

[35:57] It's not the drive, but I guess you could still, you know, just thank you for perhaps

[36:03] purchasing a Jumbotron and maybe even I will read it for you, if you don't mind me

[36:10] inserting some.

[36:11] Certainly, I'm sure you could get a cameo where Tom Brokaw shows up.

[36:15] Flawed House is on cameo and it's possible that Tom Brokaw will be available.

[36:21] For the Flawed House, I'm Thomas Brokaw.

[36:25] I've been Dan McCoy.

[36:26] And I'm Stuart Wellington.

[36:28] Bye!

[36:29] Goodbye and good Dune.

[36:33] Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.

FH Mini 100! - Elliott Looks Back

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