The Flop House: Episode #73 - Devil

[0:00] On this episode, we discuss Devil, the scariest elevator-themed horror movie since The Lift.

[0:31] Hey, everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:36] I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:38] And here he comes, your pal and mine, Elliot Kalin.

[0:41] So, Elliot, you're back. You were gone last week.

[0:44] I was gone last week.

[0:45] I assume you were overcome with excitement because of NBC's The Cape.

[0:49] Oh, I was so excited.

[0:51] That was why you missed it.

[0:52] I was excited about the show. I was excited about their marketing campaign where they draped capes over statues in New York.

[0:57] Is that true?

[0:58] Yeah.

[0:59] I was livid when, upon walking past Prospect Park in Brooklyn, there on the stately statue of Mr. Stranahan,

[1:06] the man who made the park possible was a cape cloaked over him.

[1:12] And then you went and you beat Christo to death.

[1:14] And it was only later that you discovered that it was not him.

[1:17] Yeah, that's exactly what happened.

[1:19] Oh, that's a shame.

[1:20] Luckily, you went into Christo's history and you were like, you know what?

[1:26] He committed some kind of a crime and he deserved being murdered by you.

[1:30] He killed people with umbrellas.

[1:33] He did kill one person with an umbrella.

[1:35] No, I'm not joking.

[1:36] So, in a way, Christo is the closest the real world has come to the penguin because he accidentally killed someone with an umbrella once.

[1:44] Notify the art world and write a thesis about that.

[1:49] Salvador Dali was obviously the joker.

[1:53] The Riddler, I'm going to say Jasper Johns.

[1:55] Who was Clayface?

[1:56] Clayface was Auguste Rodin.

[1:59] Okay, who was Killer Croc?

[2:01] Killer Croc was Jackson Pollock.

[2:03] The Riddler?

[2:04] The Riddler, I think Jasper Johns.

[2:07] Penguin.

[2:09] Maybe Rene Magritte.

[2:10] I said that's what we started with.

[2:15] Poison Ivy was George O'Keefe.

[2:17] Okay, Ra's al Ghul.

[2:18] Ra's al Ghul, probably.

[2:20] Oh, that's a tough one.

[2:22] Two-Face.

[2:23] Two-Face was a really hideous looking artist.

[2:27] Dracula.

[2:28] Not really a Batman villain, though they did fight.

[2:33] Okay, so we had some laughs tonight.

[2:35] See you later.

[2:38] Hold on.

[2:39] We have to talk about a movie that we watched.

[2:40] G.E. Smith, strike up the closing music because it's the goodbye credits.

[2:43] No, no, no.

[2:44] So we can all hug each other.

[2:45] Guys, we watched a movie together.

[2:47] Did we?

[2:48] Yeah.

[2:49] What?

[2:50] You've probably forgotten it already because it was a sleek 80 minutes long.

[2:53] Yeah, less than that if you don't count the credits.

[2:55] Yeah.

[2:56] It was like a Mashes of Horror episode.

[2:59] Except there was no mastery and no horror.

[3:02] It was a movie about a devil on the elevator.

[3:05] And it should have been called...

[3:06] Devil on the elevator.

[3:07] This was a movie called Devil.

[3:09] It should have been called either Hellevator or Devilvator.

[3:14] Or Ella Devil or something.

[3:16] Like Devilvator, like Darth Vader?

[3:17] Yeah, but a devil.

[3:18] Ella Devil is like a cartoon character, like the daughter of the devil.

[3:21] Yeah.

[3:22] That's a good point.

[3:23] But it should have been called Hellevator.

[3:25] I think that would have let people guess the identity of which elevator occupant was the devil.

[3:31] But doesn't that imply that the elevator is hell?

[3:34] It's just an elevator is taking them to hell.

[3:37] Okay.

[3:38] Yeah, it's like that movie.

[3:40] Angel Heart.

[3:41] Yeah, that one.

[3:42] Yeah, exactly.

[3:43] The movie.

[3:44] The movie, Elevator to Hell.

[3:45] Well, there's Elevator to the Gallows.

[3:47] The French crime movie.

[3:49] There's Exit Through the Gift Shop.

[3:51] Exit Through the Gift Shop.

[3:52] There's If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium.

[3:55] Or whatever that movie's called.

[3:57] These are all...

[3:58] There's Casablanca.

[4:00] These are all movies with places in them.

[4:02] There's, let's see, City Lights.

[4:04] It has city.

[4:05] Public Enemies.

[4:06] Public Enemies and Public Enemy.

[4:09] Okay.

[4:10] That's two list-making digressions in the first ten minutes of this episode of The Flop Show.

[4:14] Obviously, we loved the film.

[4:17] So, Elliot, you're back from your vacation.

[4:20] I am.

[4:21] And ready to synopsize.

[4:22] Let me tell you, I listened to the Killers podcast and was horrified at,

[4:29] would it take you a half hour to summarize that movie?

[4:31] Well, that's not bad mouth our fine guest, King Lou Fernandez.

[4:35] I'm not blaming the guest.

[4:36] You guys have been doing this for years.

[4:38] Okay.

[4:39] Wait, did we do a podcast without Elliot?

[4:42] Yeah.

[4:43] You did, yeah.

[4:44] What was it about?

[4:45] Killers with Ashton Kutcher and Catherine Heigl.

[4:48] I think you're making this up.

[4:50] And also, who was it?

[4:52] Burt Reynolds?

[4:53] Tom Selleck?

[4:54] Tom Selleck.

[4:55] The other one.

[4:56] The other mustache.

[4:57] Yeah.

[4:58] Okay.

[4:59] Devil.

[5:00] Here's the thing.

[5:01] It's a very simple plot, so hopefully this won't take too long.

[5:02] Yeah.

[5:03] Five people get on an elevator.

[5:05] Sounds like a hilarious joke.

[5:07] All doing this.

[5:08] Watch them go, dude.

[5:10] Three men, two women.

[5:11] There's a security guard, a mysterious, quiet, tough guy man.

[5:15] And an irritating, talk-a-mile-a-minute mattress salesman.

[5:18] Of the women, there's an old woman and a young woman.

[5:21] That's the extent of their character.

[5:23] You got a nice mix.

[5:24] You got a mix of people.

[5:25] And the security guard's black.

[5:26] It's a real Whitman sampler of an elevator.

[5:29] It's a cross-section of America.

[5:30] Yeah.

[5:31] Oh, well, Philadelphia at least.

[5:32] Yeah, that's true.

[5:33] And it takes place in Philadelphia.

[5:34] I was hoping for the Philly Fanatic.

[5:36] Rocky.

[5:38] Ben Franklin.

[5:40] It would be such a better movie.

[5:44] An elevator where Rocky, the Philly Fanatic, and Ben Franklin are trapped.

[5:49] Ben Franklin's trying to invent his way out of it.

[5:51] Rocky's trying to punch his way out.

[5:53] The Philly Fanatic's just trying to keep them going.

[5:55] And he climbs onto a novelty-sized, like, tractor and rides around.

[6:01] But we know it's Philadelphia because the opening credits show us a cityscape of Philadelphia upside down.

[6:07] What does that mean, Dan?

[6:09] Yeah, what does it mean, Dan?

[6:10] It means that they got Tak Fujimoto to do the cinematography.

[6:14] And that's one thing I have to say for this movie is that it looks much better than the movies we usually watch.

[6:20] That's true.

[6:21] It's a bad movie, but it looks nicer.

[6:23] The cinematography level is crisp and sharp and atmospheric.

[6:27] And do you think that was helped at all by the fact that M. Night Shyamalan did not direct this movie but instead produced it, right?

[6:32] It's possible.

[6:33] The length is certainly helped by that.

[6:35] Like, he would have stretched this out to two hours easy.

[6:38] And this was produced by M. Night Shyamalan's company, which is called, what, The Night Chronicles?

[6:44] I don't know whether that's the name of his company or that's just what he's decided to call this series of movies that he has come up with the stories for.

[6:55] This is apparently the first in, like, three of them, I think.

[6:58] Well, let me tell you.

[6:59] They are off with a bang, starting with the winner, not Copyright Wingsworld.

[7:06] So these five people are in an elevator.

[7:09] The elevator stops.

[7:11] Cha-chunk.

[7:12] Oh, no.

[7:13] They're trapped.

[7:14] They immediately lose their shit.

[7:16] Let me tell you a true story.

[7:18] Monday morning, I was trapped in a subway tunnel for almost two hours.

[7:22] I was on a train, my regular ride to work.

[7:25] The train left the station, got not all the way to the next station, stopped.

[7:30] Someone must have pulled the emergency brake or the emergency brake went off by accident.

[7:34] Knocked a little bit off the tracks, couldn't get pulled back.

[7:37] They had to bring another train in to pull it back into the last station so we could all get out.

[7:42] This took almost two hours.

[7:44] At no point during that time did anyone scream at anybody else, try to kill anyone.

[7:49] There were no blows traded.

[7:51] Nobody revealed any dark secrets about themselves.

[7:54] Now, Elliot, I'm going to back you up on this story.

[7:57] This Monday was Martin Luther King Day.

[8:00] So what you're saying is that you are a racist.

[8:03] No, I'm saying that my bosses are racist and I had to work on Martin Luther King Day.

[8:07] Okay.

[8:08] Well, you heard it.

[8:09] Well, perhaps it was the daily show.

[8:11] Maybe it was the ghost of MLK pushing the train off the tracks.

[8:15] Anger that you were not honoring him appropriately.

[8:17] Yeah.

[8:18] Anywho, so let me just say these people are…

[8:22] Wait.

[8:23] I'm going to stop you right here, Elliot.

[8:25] Was there a devil on your subway train?

[8:28] If there was, we never found out because…

[8:30] He was probably irritated because he was trying to get to an elevator somewhere uptown.

[8:34] I've got people I'm supposed to be killing because of their sins.

[8:38] In a roundabout way.

[8:40] So there's five people in this elevator.

[8:42] The elevator stops.

[8:43] They instantly turn on each other.

[8:45] Suddenly the lights go out and one of the women, the young woman, when the lights go on, her back is all bloody.

[8:51] She thinks something bit her.

[8:53] Oh, no, she's been attacked.

[8:54] Which one of the people in the elevator did it?

[8:56] They don't know.

[8:57] Suddenly the people in the elevator start dying one by one.

[9:00] Meanwhile, we saw a person.

[9:02] Before the credits, someone jumps to their death out of this very building, and there's a police officer investigating that.

[9:09] He gets pulled into the investigation of this elevator, which the maintenance crew of the building and the security guards of the building, one, take incredibly not seriously.

[9:18] They're literally watching people go crazy on the security monitor in a stuck elevator.

[9:22] I guess they're really going nuts in there.

[9:24] Yeah.

[9:25] Okay, well, that's what happens.

[9:27] People get scared in elevators.

[9:28] Anyhoo, and they've got one maintenance guy who apparently runs everything for this at least 39-story building.

[9:35] Yeah, well, there's, like, at least three security guards.

[9:39] They have two security guards in the front desk, two in the monitor room, and then one maintenance man for a skyscraper.

[9:46] Yeah.

[9:47] A building that literally is scraping the sky, bloody and raw.

[9:51] Yeah, there are whole floors on this skyscraper that have not been cleaned.

[9:56] Yes.

[9:57] You know, like computers have been damaged.

[10:00] uh... you know it's it's it's a it's also like here's what usually happens i

[10:04] feel like when an elevator shuts down

[10:07] they open the doors for the floor above the elevator

[10:10] everyone gets out of the top of the elevator and they climb out through

[10:12] those open doors

[10:13] yeah diehard taught us anything

[10:15] in this one

[10:16] that is not apparently not possible apparently there are no elevator doors

[10:19] between the

[10:21] thirty eighth floor and like what the second floor so that firefighters have

[10:24] to come in and start literally

[10:26] drilling through the wall and they do address this it's an express elevator

[10:30] so they don't uh... there are no entrances apparently oh i missed that

[10:33] part yeah okay

[10:35] but uh... it is a really talking about

[10:37] you know the day you had

[10:39] i was probably just i was biting into a mandolin at the time so i was just

[10:42] remembering things that happened in my past when my family was younger it is

[10:46] strange however

[10:48] how they they do uh... open the top

[10:51] of the elevator but then like that's abandoned like uh... they could

[10:56] climb out climb out they decide that's not worth their time

[10:59] uh... anyway the uh...

[11:01] one of the security guards is hispanic so that means he's a devout catholic

[11:05] and he believes that the devil he believes in el diablo yes he saw on the

[11:10] on the security monitor

[11:12] there was a flickering isn't there like a sandwich that gives you heartburn

[11:16] at participating realtors yes

[11:18] or retailers

[11:19] the participating realtors probably also give you sandwiches

[11:23] i guess that they're open houses

[11:26] it's part of our century twenty one spicy sandwich program you buy a house

[11:29] you get a free sandwich

[11:31] sixteen sixteen sub or you buy a six inch sub and you get a house

[11:35] in this in this housing market listen

[11:39] any who

[11:41] uh... so he saw a flickering image on one of the screens of what appeared to

[11:44] be

[11:44] i don't know what a yelling face like a bloody face i don't know it's a face

[11:49] quite a face i think it's sam neill from uh... from event horizon after he rips his eyes out

[11:53] spoiler alert spoiler alert to a movie from nineteen ninety seven that you're

[11:57] not going to see

[11:58] it might be bob from twin peaks

[12:01] it's not clear yeah it could be anybody

[12:03] bob from twin peaks

[12:05] you're mixing universes come on

[12:08] i thought we were doing out of date references okay yeah that makes sense

[12:11] uh...

[12:13] where was it oh so

[12:14] the security guard assumes the devil is at play

[12:16] there's been at this kind of

[12:18] in the fields of the lord

[12:20] this occasional narration

[12:22] from that character but we don't know at first explaining that

[12:25] when he was a kid his mom told him the devil would sometimes toy with people

[12:28] before taking their souls to hell

[12:30] you'd wear Prada

[12:32] every choice we make leads us to this moment when the devil takes us and blah

[12:36] blah blah

[12:37] so anyway

[12:38] guess what yeah it's the devil in the elevator

[12:40] that's what happens it turns out everyone in the elevator has a sinister

[12:44] crime they committed

[12:46] the police officers involved is recovering alcoholic because

[12:49] years ago

[12:50] his mother his mother his wife and son were killed in a hit-and-run accident

[12:54] uh...

[12:55] and so he's overcoming that

[12:58] is the guy who committed the hit-and-run in the elevator spoiler alert yes

[13:03] and

[13:04] it is each of the people in the elevator die one by one

[13:08] which one of the people in the elevator is the devil

[13:10] could it be

[13:11] the black security guard could it be the young guy

[13:13] could it be the old woman

[13:15] which one is it going to be if you were making a movie

[13:18] uh... was gonna make the movie legion

[13:21] the devil would be the old woman well also in the movie devil so

[13:25] uh... and uh...

[13:27] at the last minute after much non scary i'd normally assume it was going to be

[13:32] uh... the security guard because that would be a role reversal because he's

[13:36] supposed to be protecting us you know he's the security guard well elliot also

[13:41] gets a security guard because he's a racist because he didn't go to

[13:44] instead home and i'll get a

[13:46] yet that's exactly what happens yet

[13:49] yikes anyway this is a good mean to run with that i'm a racist

[13:54] to try to make me out to be a sort of

[13:55] militia ever got

[13:57] you're an anti-government militia not yet with books for hands

[14:02] anyway

[14:03] uh...

[14:04] what sauce for the news it's

[14:08] but i've never heard that one

[14:09] okay so everybody dot everyone dies except

[14:13] one guy the green

[14:14] now the rain is a devil okay except the guy who killed the car and it will be a

[14:19] better to have a look at the guy who had that i was already taken the guy who

[14:23] killed the cops family confesses his sins over a walkie-talkie

[14:26] so the devil can't take him anymore

[14:28] he's being taken away

[14:30] and by the cop who's been taking police station by the cop whose family killed

[14:33] the cops is

[14:34] that was my family

[14:35] and you know all these years and they know what i was going to say to you but

[14:38] you know what

[14:39] i forgive you

[14:41] and the narration reminds us that if the devil exists

[14:44] that means god also exists

[14:47] i would also we see some of the worst police work in the history of movies

[14:50] tonight everyone tonight that's devil

[14:52] a trim seventy eight minutes of crap

[14:55] so this was this is a horror movie right

[14:57] yeah it's supposed to be but it's not so it's a horror movie that begins with a

[15:01] bible quote

[15:02] always a bad sign if you're watching a movie and you see a bible quote open up

[15:06] the movie

[15:07] probably a bad sign yeah

[15:10] especially a horror movie

[15:11] hmm

[15:13] well it must be something but i can't think of any i'm not against if it's a

[15:16] western it might be okay okay yeah but if it's a horror movie

[15:20] automatically gonna be bad

[15:22] then there's a whole bunch of this fuck as you were mentioning narration like

[15:25] you have this narrator

[15:27] telling us all about uh... you know how the jesus magic and shit

[15:32] and

[15:33] like telling us what we're going to see like why we should be scared of an

[15:36] elevator

[15:37] and it's so irritating and not scary

[15:40] it's not scary when a movie tells you why you should be scared

[15:43] now i'm just going to say also i don't mind a horror movie

[15:47] ending with uh... some hope

[15:49] like it should be hard won hope but i like

[15:53] a horror movie where people actually come out on the other side there's like too

[15:55] many nihilistic horror movies i feel like but uh...

[16:00] but i don't like horror movies where it's kind of like oh well you know

[16:04] you've actually been sort of

[16:07] yet people benevolent force has been looking out for you this entire time or

[16:10] like

[16:11] something like a ghost stories was like oh you know what the ghosts are just uh...

[16:16] confused souls who need to be laid to rest like anything where it's like

[16:19] footprints on the sand i was carrying you

[16:21] yeah uh... the harsh horror story of walking on a beach with jesus

[16:26] like you shouldn't walk away i think with uh... from a horror story being

[16:30] like oh that's a nice uh...

[16:32] tonight sunday school message for me

[16:34] yet you may meet you i forgot about the part where you might be about

[16:37] the as per to help back up his case

[16:40] the security guard notes that

[16:41] kids fall down all the time and almost hit their heads on tables

[16:45] why don't they hit their heads on tables more often

[16:48] and also he drops a piece of toast on the ground in atlanta's jam side down

[16:52] so he says oh no

[16:53] by the way i assume it's because there's a mini kitchen we didn't really find out

[16:57] about that smugglers has an office in the building well that's like

[17:00] the most the most interesting part of the movie for me was the maintenance guy

[17:03] is going through like the tunnels underneath the building

[17:05] and he sees a raccoon for a minute and i was like how did that raccoon get in there and i really

[17:09] would have loved to just

[17:10] i wish the camera had then panned over the raccoon and then the next

[17:14] hour was just that raccoon going about his business washing his food

[17:18] knocking over trash cans you know

[17:21] what do you have like a little like a little raccoon style house down there

[17:25] i would love that like the fantastic mr fox but better yeah and there's like a

[17:28] little like a little rat that has like a newsstand that he sells

[17:32] and he could be like a

[17:34] he could be his job could be a robber

[17:36] because raccoons are the robbers of the animal kingdom and there's a cranky old possum

[17:40] who funds his robberies

[17:42] and they knock and they steal from trash cans

[17:44] oh yeah i just thought it was uh... apparel based

[17:48] it's partly apparel

[17:51] they're not wearing masks for real

[17:53] no that's

[17:54] that's not just the coloration around the eyes

[17:56] uh... ok i thought that was a mask they wore

[17:59] i was wondering who's putting those masks on

[18:02] yeah they don't have opposable thumbs

[18:03] so they did they get them little

[18:05] little hands

[18:06] uh... anywho so he drops his toast and it falls jelly side down and he goes oh no

[18:11] it never falls jelly side down

[18:13] so the movie that's not true

[18:14] the movie's proof as to why there is a god

[18:17] and the devil is now in effect is

[18:20] one kids never hit their heads on tables when they fall which is not true

[18:23] happened to me

[18:24] two well that's good but the devil was around when that happened

[18:26] well i'm not a believer so that must have been it

[18:29] and two

[18:31] uh... toast never falls with the jam side down

[18:34] yeah well this is just a test this is it looks like uh...

[18:38] you know it's like uh...

[18:40] in ghostbusters they have the uh...

[18:43] P.K.E. meters? P.K.E. meters, sure

[18:46] and so like this is a similar thing for the devil

[18:50] you get the toast, you jam it up

[18:52] you drop it, just jam that sucker out

[18:55] just jam the shit out of it

[18:56] if it lands jam side down

[18:59] devil at least the P.K.E. is the

[19:03] thinnest veneer of science

[19:05] like just dropping jam on it but it's also it's based on a fallacy the idea

[19:09] that toast never lands jam side down which does all the time

[19:12] well but that's when the devil's around

[19:15] where elliot you should have had some jam and some toast

[19:19] when you were stuck on that train just to test and see if the devil was there?

[19:22] the devil was probably behind all that

[19:24] there was someone wearing Prada

[19:27] where do you get the uh... the whole jam toast thing is that in the bible?

[19:30] i think it's in yeah i think it's in matthew

[19:33] matthew ten jam it's in condiments to twenty-four

[19:38] chapter ten verse jam

[19:39] yeah

[19:43] but it's uh... it's a dumb movie

[19:45] yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of the security guards telling the

[19:48] maintenance guy to go up and down and up and down

[19:51] it feels so bad for the maintenance guy

[19:54] it's it's a movie where his name is uh... dwight

[19:57] dwight yeah and i know it is because they call him by his

[20:00] name every time they talk to now if if you're gonna tell me that i was gonna

[20:04] watch a movie about

[20:06] a bunch people stuck in the elevator and like the devil haunting them

[20:10] i would imagine more of the movie would be shot in the elevator like you try and

[20:14] build up the claustrophobia of being stuck in this in this space and i could

[20:18] basically getting to know every inch of

[20:20] their confines

[20:22] any chance of this claustrophobia is taken out by like

[20:26] you know going to see what this police officer is doing outside of the building

[20:30] or yeah what are the security guards doing watching this amazingly high

[20:33] definition security camera what's going on the lobby you never feel trapped

[20:38] which would be the first thing you think you do exactly

[20:42] speaking of the lobby i was very distressed by uh... the fact that

[20:45] the police officer

[20:47] tells them to evacuate the entire building but not to let anyone leave

[20:51] so we are to believe that the entire populace of this uh... skyscraper again

[20:56] scraping skies as you said

[20:58] uh... fits within the lobby comfortably comfortably in the lobby

[21:02] that's the even if you had like

[21:04] the elevators getting crowded and then you at least move to the lobby oh good

[21:08] then the lobby is filled with people and people in the lobby start getting

[21:11] feeling claustrophobic

[21:12] you could have had different kind of levels of claustrophobia moving like

[21:16] no area is safe you're enclosed in a window a riot almost breaks out in the lobby exactly but

[21:20] everyone's very docile and

[21:22] every it's one of those movies where they're docile until the

[21:25] old security guard who accidentally electrocute himself

[21:29] stumbles in

[21:30] stumbles in like trailing like a smoke cloud but even then they deal with it

[21:34] pretty easily like everyone's like

[21:35] oh my god

[21:36] oh well that's over

[21:38] like well his smoking body is still there

[21:40] and he's smoking hot

[21:42] but uh...

[21:43] well they were excited because they knew that they were going to have a luau

[21:46] they were going to pull some meat right off the bone

[21:49] long pig

[21:50] but they like

[21:51] it's a movie it's one of these movies where

[21:54] there's never any complication that's caused by the plot

[21:57] the only thing that stops everyone from solving the problem is their own

[22:00] incompetence

[22:01] over and over again the devil is the antagonist magic and he has magic

[22:07] you never get the feeling that like

[22:09] this cop is really good at his job and he just and there's just too much

[22:12] complication and too much difficulty it's always like

[22:15] this is a bad cop he's not very good at his job

[22:17] like they should have just sent people to get these guys out of the

[22:20] elevator earlier like

[22:22] and also all the scares are of the

[22:25] the lights go out and you hear a lot of like

[22:27] smashing sounds and then the lights go on and someone's dead

[22:30] yeah well i want to address that in a moment but but the converse of the uh...

[22:35] the bad cop though is like the ridiculousness of

[22:38] this uh... highly religious uh... security guard

[22:42] where he's the character who's there to make

[22:45] huge leaps that no one would

[22:47] you know he's like okay there's a face on this uh... security tape and people

[22:51] are getting mad at each other so the devil must be around

[22:55] and obviously the way to combat the devil is to

[22:58] get these people to face up to their own flaws

[23:01] and uh... maybe become better people

[23:04] and uh... i don't know i don't think the security guard saw anything to

[23:08] support these wild surmises but again this is the guy who thinks that

[23:13] toast falling jam side up is a sign that god is watching out for us

[23:18] i have to say and if like

[23:19] if god is really looking out for him

[23:21] most pieces of toast with jam on them

[23:24] just give it we don't need it that bad

[23:26] his eyes on the sparrow

[23:28] so i know he watches toast but there are huge problems like in haiti or

[23:32] you know

[23:33] the sudan that he could go help with instead of watching out for the toast

[23:37] he's busy with toast

[23:39] and kids and tables and kids and tables everyday miracles elliot

[23:43] that's just another ordinary miracle today

[23:46] it's like uh... ann getty's calendar

[23:48] everyday miracles

[23:52] kids magically transmuted into fruit

[23:56] and bugs

[24:01] i always imagine

[24:02] they've been doing it like

[24:04] in a tv show about ann getty's and like

[24:07] it's very mysterious the whole time and then they reveal at the end ann getty's

[24:10] is a giant baby

[24:16] you've learned the horrible secret of ann getty's

[24:20] i would like to see a calendar where the uh...

[24:22] the insect babies are feeding off of the fruit babies

[24:28] it's a scary calendar because the idea that you could just crack open a watermelon

[24:31] and find a sleeping baby inside

[24:33] it's frightening

[24:35] what are you supposed to do in that situation well you throw it out

[24:41] the first thing you do is get rid of it

[24:44] maybe take it back to the market and ask for a refund

[24:47] you can't take that baby to the police because they're not going to

[24:50] it's going to be like a devil situation they're not going to buy your story

[24:54] sure you found it in a watermelon

[24:56] oh show me another one

[24:58] who the other one oh malahan

[25:01] because the guy who found the watermelon is also irish

[25:05] because you know watermelon is a very common irish fruit

[25:09] yeah well i've got to assume that the farmer's son was masturbating in the

[25:12] fields and that somehow impregnated the watermelon

[25:17] it's like a brother's grim sort of thing

[25:23] a woman

[25:24] pulled a watermelon

[25:26] she she landed on a watermelon

[25:32] an egg had somehow made it's way into the watermelon

[25:36] well the eggs are like one cell

[25:37] and they start to easily slip into the cracks of the shell of a watermelon

[25:41] and then the baby just fed on the sweet watermelons

[25:45] i think it's called a shell

[25:47] you don't call it a watermelon shell

[25:52] crack that shell open and have some watermelon

[25:56] some hard boiled watermelon

[25:58] i think uh... the next night chronicles movie should be about babies and watermelons

[26:03] yeah baby melon babies

[26:05] i mean we've basically described the cabbage patch kids guys

[26:10] but that was babies with cabbages on them

[26:13] completely different

[26:15] do you think they're legally different

[26:18] uh... no i was going to say about the lights going out and up it's i don't

[26:21] know what the devil's M.O. is so strange to me in this movie because it's like

[26:25] it causes trouble he seems to

[26:28] be really keen on killing them

[26:30] he just goes into a building and messes things up for the business

[26:34] it's like killing them agatha christie ten little indians style

[26:38] i guess you know like the devil's getting off on sowing discord among the

[26:42] he likes to toy with mortals

[26:44] but then at the end

[26:46] as we pointed out she really is a woman

[26:50] and there's that movie the devil is a woman

[26:52] but at the end as we pointed out she reveals herself to the last survivor

[26:57] giving him a chance to redeem himself by asking the devil to take him instead of

[27:01] the woman and then confessing his sins

[27:06] which you know like later gives

[27:08] uh... sinned against a chance to forgive him

[27:11] and uh... i don't know why the devil would do that if the devil was perfectly

[27:14] happy just killing everyone earlier in the film because the devil realizes the

[27:19] movie is almost over okay and he's got to do something she's got to something

[27:22] different

[27:23] this is part of the elaborate chess game well they even like god but there's even

[27:27] that like that voiceover point where they're like and the last victim is

[27:31] always murdered in front of the person they love the most oh yeah

[27:35] uh...

[27:36] so maybe

[27:37] yeah yeah they totally did that yeah to make cynics out of us that's why they

[27:40] explained why that that that like that guy's fiancee showed up right in the

[27:44] right of the very end

[27:46] right you know the one with all the tattoos on her neck yeah the girl who played with fire

[27:49] so what you're saying

[27:52] so what you're saying is uh...

[27:55] that uh... voiceover was just there

[27:58] to paper over holes in the plot yes i would say yes to explain arbitrary rules

[28:03] so that the movie could exist

[28:06] yeah i mean that's uh... that's the

[28:09] i'm assuming the main point of the the voiceover is a to cover over any plot

[28:13] holes

[28:14] and be trying to tell us why we're scared and like

[28:18] trying to build up the tension of certain scenes and otherwise would be

[28:21] really boring and uh... to explain the rules of this universe i mean that's

[28:23] papering over the holes but

[28:25] and i had more positive spin to put on that would be just to explain the rules

[28:28] of the game you know

[28:30] yeah by directed by gene ramon

[28:32] but they like

[28:33] the uh... but yeah it's

[28:35] and he's supposed to be

[28:36] at first it seems like he's just building the tension up like

[28:40] my mama told me

[28:41] the devil comes for people and it's like

[28:43] yawn and also you know it's like the beginning of legion too right

[28:47] uh... their voiceover like my mom always said magic devils will kill me if i'm

[28:51] someday god will decide to get rid of all the people and wipe them out and i said

[28:55] okay and then it did and then it didn't because it's the movie legion

[28:59] that's another movie that took itself way too seriously

[29:02] this one takes itself very seriously

[29:05] yeah for as silly as it is

[29:07] it is a movie about the devil killing people in an elevator

[29:11] but i think it is a silly premise

[29:13] the old elevator at first it seems like it's going to be a movie about

[29:17] how quickly we turn against each other

[29:19] yet uh... but it isn't yeah

[29:21] the devil seems pretty powerful uh... just magic wise this movie

[29:25] and yet

[29:26] it needs to draw people together into a confined space for easy slaughter

[29:31] yeah well he can't just pick off people it's just more convenient that way

[29:36] it's like oh if i can make an excuse for all these people to come to this one building

[29:38] my afternoon will be off it doesn't have to travel as much

[29:42] it's like

[29:44] i can go to all these stores or i can go to target and get all the stuff i need in one stop

[29:48] that'll take less time this is why the mom and pop devils are getting killed off

[29:54] it is a it is a movie that tells you that

[29:57] if uh... the devil needs to trap you

[30:00] or it can get to you, you know. They're very powerful with, maybe

[30:03] there's, maybe, okay, maybe I'm reading too much into the mythology of the movie

[30:08] devil.

[30:08] Okay. Maybe it's postulating a universe

[30:12] with many different kinds of devils with powers and controls over different areas.

[30:16] Maybe different elements. Exactly.

[30:19] One of those elements, elevators. Okay. Or perhaps vertical travel.

[30:23] So that would be a elevator bender. Yes.

[30:27] He's an elevator bender. Exactly. Which gives him the power to stop elevators and

[30:30] kill people in elevators.

[30:32] Yeah. Alright.

[30:35] Elevastopolies. So it's like that, it's like that

[30:38] book, The God of Small Things, but the reverse. Yeah. The devil of

[30:42] elevators. Yeah. The devil of small spaces.

[30:45] Parentheses. Particularly elevators.

[30:49] And what was the significance of the suicide at the very beginning?

[30:52] That, they never really explained. Oh yeah. I want to talk,

[30:56] I want to talk a moment about this because, so...

[30:59] That's also, wait, there's a, the movie opens with someone jumping to their death out of this

[31:03] building. They jump through a window.

[31:04] There's a big hole, there's a big hole in the window.

[31:07] Huge. Size of a person. And the maintenance guy's like, I'm just up here fixing this

[31:11] hole in the window.

[31:12] They don't put two and two together that someone jumped through the window till

[31:16] later.

[31:16] Even though there's a suicide note right there

[31:20] that they find, that they read later in the movie. Well, speaking of that suicide note, I wanted to say,

[31:24] so there's an actress in this film, Caroline DiVerna,

[31:28] who I have a crush on from the, she was on the show Wonderfalls,

[31:31] and she has literally three

[31:35] lines in the whole film. But she's in, she's in,

[31:39] she does a couple different things. One, she stands around the corner. She walks by,

[31:42] another time she's standing there drinking coffee, and the third time she finds that letter.

[31:46] Right. I kind of understand your crush now, but

[31:50] she only gives you little bits.

[31:53] Like, there's an overstay your welcome. Teases you.

[31:57] But her character talks to the main

[32:01] detective about this suicide note, and she's like, sure, eyebrows, widow's peak, guy.

[32:06] Isn't this weird? This note ends with,

[32:10] I can hear the devil's footsteps behind me. Isn't that strange? Usually

[32:15] suicide notes are either rational all the way through or crazy all the way through.

[32:20] But she somehow thinks that ending a suicide note with,

[32:24] I can hear the devil's footsteps behind me is a crazy way to end a suicide note.

[32:28] Someone who's going to kill themself, and presumably feels bad about something,

[32:33] ends their suicide note in that way, and that piques her interest somehow.

[32:37] She seems to think that, she takes it literally instantly.

[32:41] Yeah. Like, if you read a suicide note- This is a world where everyone believes the devil

[32:44] except for our main hero.

[32:48] He starts believing it halfway through, though.

[32:51] He starts picking it up eventually. If you read a note like that, or even if

[32:55] someone sent you an email and was like,

[32:57] Gotta go, devil's footsteps are behind me. Or like, God willing, this will happen.

[33:01] You're not going to be like, that's weird.

[33:04] Why would she start talking about God in this email?

[33:09] People use metaphorical language all the time.

[33:12] Especially if it's their last words on this earth.

[33:15] People never try to be overly flowery or creative in their final moments.

[33:18] There's more than one way to skin a cat.

[33:20] What are you doing taking the skin off of cats?

[33:23] No, no, no, I'm just...

[33:24] It was just an expression I was using. Oh, okay. Oh.

[33:27] Never mind then. I'm a forensic scientist.

[33:29] She has a disease where she takes everything literally, is what you're saying.

[33:32] Yes, I think so.

[33:33] But yeah, I don't know that we- How is that communicated?

[33:36] Uh...

[33:37] Kissing. Yeah.

[33:38] Like, mono?

[33:40] Yeah. Okay.

[33:40] Or tongues.

[33:41] Gross. Tongues are communicated through kissing.

[33:43] Gross.

[33:44] Gross.

[33:46] Ew, with a girl?

[33:47] Stewart doesn't care for kissing.

[33:49] I only do it through a dental dam.

[33:51] He only does it Eskimo style.

[33:53] Only does it through a Hoover Dam.

[33:55] What's that with, by only eating meat, or?

[33:58] Yeah, there's penicillin involved.

[34:01] You have to be very cold.

[34:04] You lay down-

[34:05] Only on a dog sled.

[34:06] You lay down a thick layer of whale blubber.

[34:10] I'm with you.

[34:11] And slide towards each other.

[34:14] It involves using a spear and scrimshaw.

[34:17] Okay.

[34:18] These are all stereotypical Eskimo-y things.

[34:20] Wait, we're not done, and they have 400 words for it.

[34:23] Yeah.

[34:25] And done.

[34:26] Uh, well the- Yeah, we never find- I don't think we ever found out why that person committed suicide.

[34:30] It was like, they needed a shocking- Like, a shock to start the movie.

[34:34] So they have someone plummet to their death.

[34:35] But then it was like-

[34:36] It was leftover from the happening.

[34:37] Kind of, yeah.

[34:39] They just forget about it.

[34:41] They just got done watching the happening, and we're like, I'm done with this shit.

[34:45] This is the height of human creativity.

[34:49] I don't need to see anything else.

[34:50] It'll all be downhill from here.

[34:54] Yeah.

[34:54] Have you guys seen the internet video on YouTube, where it's that scene from the happening,

[34:59] and every time a body falls, it's Rainy Men plays for like a couple seconds?

[35:04] That's pretty good.

[35:06] Thank you, YouTube.

[35:07] Nice work, YouTube.

[35:08] Right up there with the different strokes video, where they put scary music over the opening credits.

[35:13] So it looks like Comrade Bane is kidnapping two children.

[35:17] It's the best video on YouTube.

[35:20] I saw this one where-

[35:22] Was there a cute cat involved?

[35:25] Oh, wait, you already saw that one?

[35:26] Yeah.

[35:27] Oh, okay, that was good.

[35:30] So guys, I think we might have covered it.

[35:33] What else is there to say about Devil?

[35:36] I would say M. Night Shyamalan stick to your day job of directing, except he makes bad movies as a director, too.

[35:42] This felt like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

[35:44] Yeah, it did.

[35:47] I don't know what else to say.

[35:48] There's a twist, kind of.

[35:50] Movies where the point of the movie is that everything is part of a larger plan,

[35:55] and every choice you make is leading you up to a predetermined moment.

[35:59] I'm not a big fan of those.

[36:00] Yeah.

[36:01] I don't find them that scary, because, I don't know, like...

[36:06] I don't know, like, the idea of, like, I'm only being killed because I did something bad,

[36:11] like, that's stupid.

[36:12] Like, I didn't do anything bad, so I'm not worried about the devil coming and murdering me all day.

[36:15] You know you're blameless and innocent as the newborn driven lamb, so...

[36:19] Yeah, absolutely.

[36:20] The rain should fall upon the good and bad equally, is what you're saying.

[36:25] Yeah, yeah, and by rain, I mean devil elevators.

[36:29] Devil elevators, yeah.

[36:31] Okay, so let's do our final judgments.

[36:32] What was it, a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you actually kind of like?

[36:35] Hella Devils.

[36:37] Hella Devils.

[36:38] Stuart, what are your final words on this?

[36:41] Well, the movie was really fast.

[36:44] No, I didn't like this at all.

[36:47] I particularly don't care for horror movies that seem to actively try to make itself not scary,

[36:54] and this movie was that type of movie.

[36:56] So, not scary, not good, bad.

[36:59] I'm gonna...

[37:01] We've seen so many bad, bad movies lately, I might be grading on a curve, but I'm gonna

[37:05] say that, for me, this was a good, bad movie because it did zip along.

[37:11] Except for all the boring parts, which there were legion.

[37:13] Yeah, but it was like 70 minutes.

[37:15] Except for the movie, it's very short.

[37:17] And, you know, the cinematography was nice, so it wasn't a pain to look at.

[37:23] That's true.

[37:24] And you had a crush on that one chick.

[37:25] Yeah, and she was around on the corners, and there were ridiculous things like the GM test

[37:30] for Devils.

[37:31] Yeah, that sounds way funnier than it is in the movie, though.

[37:35] And there was a raccoon.

[37:36] You thought that was cool.

[37:37] You liked that part.

[37:38] No, that was me.

[37:39] Oh, I got you both wearing glasses tonight.

[37:41] Sure.

[37:42] Alan, what do you have to say?

[37:45] I...

[37:46] Yeah, I don't know.

[37:47] It's a...

[37:48] Yeah, it's a bad, bad movie, but not quite as bad as some of the other ones we've seen

[37:50] recently.

[37:51] I'd rather watch this than The Last Airbender, but it's still a bad, bad movie, you know.

[37:58] I was...

[37:59] I had high hopes that it would be a crazy, silly movie, but it turned out to be kind

[38:02] of boring, and like there's a few silly things, but not enough of them, and maybe we should

[38:06] have done...

[38:07] It is pretty silly, though.

[38:08] Maybe we should have done Gooby after all.

[38:09] Yeah, we were talking about doing Gooby.

[38:10] Look up the trailer for that, people.

[38:13] Maybe next time.

[38:14] What's a Gooby?

[38:15] Maybe we should still do Gooby.

[38:16] It's a six-foot bear with the voice of Robbie Coltrane.

[38:18] Yeah.

[38:20] Hi, it's Dan here.

[38:25] If you like listening to the Flophouse, why not visit us on the Web at www.flophousepodcast.com,

[38:37] where you can find show notes, videos, fan art, and links to Wikipedia synopses of all

[38:43] the Flophouse films, so you can play along at home.

[38:46] If you're looking for more Flophouse stuff, check out our Facebook page, where you can

[38:50] discuss the show with other fans, or subscribe to our Twitter feed at The Flophouse Pod.

[38:57] Your support helps us build an audience, so if you like the show, why not vote for us

[39:00] at Podcast Alley, or subscribe to the show on iTunes.

[39:05] And while you're there, take a moment to write a review.

[39:07] Links for everything can be found on the Web page.

[39:10] Lastly, we love hearing from you, so if you have thoughts, feedback, or suggestions, let

[39:15] us know at theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[40:00] I believe in regard to that podcast which was one of our crazier and Mark last name

[40:13] withheld says, ìLove this one guys, there have been times I wanted to send email on

[40:17] many occasions but the rambling and side convos were great.î I know others probably hate

[40:22] it but the nutty mind of your friend Mark loved every second.

[40:24] Great.

[40:25] I donít remember what we did.

[40:26] I think we were all high on life.

[40:29] That was the one that involved a long side conversation about Bryce Dallas Howard, nude

[40:36] in the Bannery Bay Casino.

[40:39] That didnít make any sense.

[40:45] This brings up a good point because I think we enjoy the craziness, the digressions.

[40:52] Iíve heard from some people who wish we would stay more on target.

[40:57] To me, Iíve always thought of this as a podcast thatís mainly about stupid comedy and we

[41:08] watch a movie to give us an excuse to talk about something.

[41:13] People can weigh in on this maybe.

[41:14] I think the people who complain about our silly moments are the same sort of people

[41:19] who need an entire hour and a half of a movie to be convinced that all they need is a little

[41:24] bit of laughter to make their life better.

[41:27] Like a magical fairy has to show up and make that person enjoy life because theyíre too

[41:31] busy.

[41:32] Itís quite a leap.

[41:33] Theyíre like a stodgy accountant.

[41:34] A working man who doesnít leave enough time for his family, heís just got to be silly

[41:41] for once, not care what his neighbors think.

[41:43] Itís really tough for him to get over that.

[41:46] He should not care about his high-powered job thatís providing for him and for the

[41:51] wellness of his loved ones.

[41:53] Maybe the people involved in his organization, maybe because heís so good at his job, heís

[41:59] helping these people pay their bills.

[42:01] He makes sure to go to his childís recital instead but itís really tough with his schedule

[42:07] or help out at their ball game or go to Neverland and fight Captain Hook.

[42:13] Thatís the movie where children are taught that if you have enough imagination, you donít

[42:24] need real food.

[42:25] You can imagine food and you wonít die of starvation.

[42:29] Terrible lesson.

[42:30] What have you done for us lately?

[42:34] What has he done lately?

[42:36] What was his last movie?

[42:38] What happened to that kid who played Rufio?

[42:42] Anyway, thereís only two letters.

[42:46] Theyíre both very brief.

[42:47] This one is from Jen, last name withheld, who has been with us from the beginning, a

[42:52] big fan.

[42:53] Thanks.

[42:54] I hope this is not the letter telling us, ìIíve had enough and Iím leaving.î

[42:56] No, no.

[42:57] Bangarang.

[42:58] Another Hook reference.

[43:01] Jen is saying, ìFor what itís worth, my favorite Ninja Turtle was Leonardo.î

[43:10] Boo.

[43:11] Heís noble and stuff and he wears blue, which is the best color.

[43:14] So, Dan, tell everyone to lay off.

[43:16] So, lay off, guys.

[43:17] Thatís what I say.

[43:18] I donít know.

[43:19] I like blue, but is blue the best color?

[43:21] Purple, Donatello, is the color of royalty.

[43:23] Sure.

[43:24] Red, for Raphael, is the color of passion.

[43:26] Yeah.

[43:27] And orange, for Michelangelo, is the color of pizza.

[43:29] So, I donít know.

[43:30] Is it the color of pizza?

[43:32] Blue is only the best color of pupils, of eyeballs.

[43:37] Ah, racist.

[43:38] Wow, that is racial, yeah.

[43:39] Oh, sorry.

[43:40] Orange is the color of night.

[43:41] Okay.

[43:42] What?

[43:43] Orange.

[43:44] I didnít say banana again.

[43:49] Jen, you have my permission to stop listening now.

[43:53] Okay.

[43:54] So, thanks for the letters, guys.

[43:55] Thanks.

[43:56] Send more letters.

[43:57] Keep them pouring in.

[43:58] And write in on the group.

[43:59] At theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[44:01] Theflophousepodcast at gmail.com.

[44:03] Or theflophousehousecat.

[44:05] No.

[44:07] Flopcast.flop.

[44:08] Dot meow.

[44:09] If you want to write to theflophousehousecat,

[44:11] the non-existent character,

[44:13] the non-existent.

[44:15] He exists in the hearts of fucking children everywhere, dude.

[44:18] You can also send those.

[44:20] Non-existent, you asshole.

[44:21] You can send those as well to theflophousepodcast.

[44:23] Where has theflophousehousecat been all this show?

[44:26] Heís so tired.

[44:27] Heís been working like a dog.

[44:29] One of us has got to pay the bills,

[44:31] but Iím not doing it.

[44:33] And weigh in on the great silly tangents

[44:36] or not silly tangents debate.

[44:38] Do you like to hear more about the movies,

[44:40] or do you like to hear us say crazy things

[44:42] about Teddy Grahams and the poor hole of time?

[44:45] Chopin Goatables.

[44:47] And Chopin Goatables.

[44:50] Classics.

[44:51] Classics all.

[44:53] Letís move on to recommendations.

[44:58] Movies that you may have seen recently,

[45:01] but not if you havenít had time.

[45:02] Can we recommend movies we havenít seen?

[45:04] Yes.

[45:05] In which case, Iíd like to recommend,

[45:06] itís called Rocket Crocodile and the World of Tomorrow.

[45:09] Itís a movie that doesnít exist,

[45:10] and Iím making it up as I go along.

[45:12] It involves a crocodile astronaut.

[45:14] He accidentally falls through a time machine warp

[45:17] and becomes a rock star in the world of the future,

[45:20] which also has dinosaurs.

[45:22] I donít know how Iím going to link to that on the website.

[45:25] Oh, yeah.

[45:26] And Gina Gershon is nude in like every scene.

[45:28] Okay.

[45:29] Sure.

[45:30] So, like, any Gina Gershon role.

[45:33] Yeah, youíre right.

[45:34] Also, Carla Gugino is nude in every scene.

[45:37] Like half of her role.

[45:40] Rocket Crocodile is fully clothed.

[45:42] Do they have speaking roles,

[45:43] or are they just naked in the background?

[45:44] I mean, thereís a little bit of that.

[45:46] Thereís a little bit of speaking, you know.

[45:47] Okay.

[45:48] Yeah, just to make it not exploitative.

[45:50] And to set up the nudity, like,

[45:51] ìOh, man, itís so hot in here.î

[45:53] Or, ìIím going to take a shower now,

[45:54] but Iíll just stand around first.î

[45:56] Or, ìWho put all these ants in my clothing?î

[45:59] Yeah, yeah.

[46:02] I would love to see that experience.

[46:03] So, Rocket Crocodile.

[46:04] I havenít seen it yet, but, you know,

[46:06] keep your eyes peeled at the Cineplex.

[46:08] Iím giving it five out of five ìamazings.î

[46:10] So, go to Netflix.

[46:12] Thereís a lot of scenes.

[46:13] Put ìsaveî so that it goes in your queue.

[46:16] Hi, there.

[46:17] Whatever movie comes up on the autofill,

[46:20] thatís closestÖ

[46:21] Just take it.

[46:22] Thatís closest to Rocket Crocodile

[46:24] and the World of Tomorrow.

[46:26] Probably is Doll Man.

[46:27] Soundtrack by Talking Heads.

[46:29] They got back together to do the soundtrack.

[46:30] Wow.

[46:31] Sure.

[46:32] And Danzig.

[46:33] You got them together.

[46:34] Glenn Danzig and David Byrne

[46:35] finally working together.

[46:36] Well, Iím amazed that Rocket Crocodile

[46:39] solved the Byrne Weymouth rift

[46:42] that has kept Talking Heads

[46:43] from reuniting with you.

[46:44] Oh, yeah.

[46:45] Well, itís the World of Tomorrow.

[46:46] All right.

[46:47] Well, thatís your recommendation, Elliot.

[46:49] He has to stop the clothing bandit

[46:51] whoís stealing clothing

[46:52] from all the beautiful women in the world.

[46:54] I think Iíve seen this movie.

[46:56] In my dreams.

[46:58] Youíre thinking of The Devil Wears Nada.

[47:00] Oh, okay.

[47:01] Which you should also watch instead of Devil.

[47:03] I thought I was thinking of

[47:04] The Invisible Maniac again.

[47:08] You have, like, three movies

[47:09] that you recommend in rotation.

[47:11] I donít know if Iíve mentioned this before,

[47:13] but he kills a guy with a submarine sandwich.

[47:16] You mention it many times.

[47:17] Stuart, do you have an actual recommendation?

[47:19] I do have a recommendation this time, dude.

[47:23] Itís called Castle Freak.

[47:25] Itís a little movie called Centurion.

[47:28] Itís Neil Marshallís follow-up

[47:32] to the much maligned Doomsday.

[47:35] Which I enjoy.

[47:37] In Centurion, you have a group of Roman soldiers.

[47:41] Centurions, if you will.

[47:43] Up in north of Britain,

[47:45] and they end up, you know,

[47:47] they get caught behind enemy lines

[47:49] and they have to make their way back

[47:51] to Roman territory.

[47:54] Hunted by a bunch of Picts.

[47:55] Yeah, hunted by a bunch of Picts.

[47:56] So itís like a remake of The Warriors.

[47:58] A lot like The Warriors,

[47:59] but instead of gangs,

[48:00] you have Pictish tribesmen.

[48:03] And the main reason I want to recommend it

[48:06] is because having recently watched The Expendables,

[48:09] which had a ton of bad CGI gore,

[48:13] Centurion clearly had a much smaller budget.

[48:16] They managed to fill that movie

[48:18] beginning to end with, like,

[48:20] chopped off limbs, smashed in faces,

[48:22] all kinds of gore.

[48:24] And it never looked super fake.

[48:27] Like, it neverÖ

[48:28] Leslie Gore.

[48:29] Theyíre much better at hiding any of the CGI

[48:31] that they used to make some dudeís arm get whacked off.

[48:36] I saw the realization on your face

[48:39] of the phrase you had used.

[48:42] So, Centurion,

[48:44] if you want to watch a bunch of dudes

[48:48] get their arms whacked off,

[48:52] Netflix, watch instantly.

[48:54] Yeah, yeah.

[48:55] So drag it into your queue,

[48:57] hit the watch button.

[48:59] Okay, soÖ

[49:00] Itís an actual recommendation,

[49:02] and itís not one of my go-tos.

[49:04] Like Asshole Freak or Invisible Man.

[49:06] Did I mention that Rocket Crocodileís sidekick

[49:08] is a wisecracking zebra?

[49:09] No.

[49:10] Is it animated or a guy in a zebra suit?

[49:13] Itís a guy in a zebra suit,

[49:14] but the mouth is animated.

[49:15] Is the zebra afraid that Rocket Crocodile

[49:17] is going to eat him or her?

[49:19] No, no, heís wisecracking.

[49:20] Heís cynical, heís seen it all.

[49:21] Okay.

[49:23] And heís a girl.

[49:24] Okay.

[49:25] So thereís a romance.

[49:26] Like an Eddie Murphy type?

[49:27] Exactly, yeah.

[49:28] You know, like Osmosis Jones.

[49:29] Itís like a bromance, but with girls.

[49:32] Wait.

[49:33] A gromance.

[49:35] So I saw a couple of movies that I liked recently.

[49:37] I saw Exit Through the Gift Shop,

[49:39] which I referenced earlier

[49:41] in one of our popular Flophouse lists

[49:45] earlier in the program.

[49:46] I call them free associates.

[49:48] Yeah.

[49:49] And I call it Wasting Time.

[49:51] I donít have a lot to say about the movie

[49:53] because I feel like itís been said.

[49:55] Itís a movie thatís shown up on a lot ofÖ

[50:00] best of the year list so it doesn't need me throwing my

[50:04] limited weight behind it but it's also on watch instantly so you should watch

[50:07] that it's very enjoyable

[50:09] and uh... where should you exit

[50:12] through the gift shop

[50:14] and i watched uh... the square

[50:16] the australian thriller

[50:18] that's a lot of people compared to blood simple

[50:21] it's not as good as blood simple but it shares with blood simple

[50:25] the kind of

[50:26] like noir thriller

[50:28] something that should be a very

[50:31] simple plan uh... goes

[50:33] like a simple plan

[50:35] it goes wrong early and often

[50:37] a single man

[50:39] yeah a solitary man

[50:42] a man for all seasons

[50:44] leslie man

[50:46] so i'm not going to keep this up

[50:50] me and dingo

[50:54] so uh... i'm and i'm and the characters in the background of the job of the

[50:57] hudson's jenna remand

[51:00] uh... so while we keep this going

[51:03] i'm just gonna sign off

[51:04] now i got a recommendation a real one

[51:06] sure

[51:07] well it's like a little rocket crocodile it's called rocket crocodile goes to the

[51:10] past

[51:12] he has to go to the fifties in the past

[51:14] rocket for no

[51:15] rocket crocodile has to go to the fifties to get his parents together

[51:18] because otherwise he won't be born

[51:20] and to write rocket around the clock

[51:22] uh...

[51:23] the i wanted to recommend a uh... very weird

[51:27] swedish movie

[51:28] called you the living

[51:29] uh... which is

[51:31] it's kind of a semi sequel to a movie called uh... was it songs from the second

[51:35] floor

[51:35] and it's

[51:37] like and it's kind of dozens of these very short

[51:40] scenes

[51:41] uh... that are alternately

[51:43] kind of funny or just kind of off or don't make any sense at all

[51:48] interconnected people

[51:51] different types of situations it's a little hard to describe but it's very

[51:54] uh... i liked a lot

[51:55] and it's shot in a way that's is

[51:58] like uh... stylized without feeling very stylized

[52:02] it just kind of feels unreal the whole time

[52:04] and there's a sequence on a house that seems to also be a train that i find

[52:08] particularly beautiful

[52:09] but uh...

[52:10] is this very it's this very good kind of baffling

[52:13] comedy drama deadpan comedy drama

[52:16] of swedes

[52:17] being unhappy

[52:19] so it's it's it's exactly like uh... the goal of the right to exactly if you

[52:23] like the girl with the dragon tattoo you'll love

[52:26] the deadpan philosophizing of you the living

[52:30] also if you like to explain music is a fair amount of disillusioned as the

[52:33] movie

[52:35] so uh... guys for the humanism

[52:39] it's a euphemism for a style of jazz music

[52:41] lucas from the south

[52:43] uh... i think we should sign off

[52:45] probably a good idea for the devil

[52:47] decides to murder us

[52:48] oh no which one of us is the devil stewart

[52:52] i'm guessing stewart

[52:54] because you come in with a hit and run

[52:57] and uh... that's what sparked off your racism

[53:00] and you are i don't know

[53:03] dan's a counterfeiter

[53:05] nice

[53:06] that's pretty cool

[53:09] that doesn't mean he needs to get killed right i mean it's just counterfeiting

[53:12] well his counterfeiting uses blood as the ink in my

[53:16] uh... it's a delicatessen type thing

[53:18] and he's a cannibal did i mention that yeah

[53:21] i did talk about eating that uh... fried uh...

[53:25] yeah alright what did you say a cannibal

[53:29] with a baby inside

[53:32] for the flop house i've been dan mccoy

[53:34] rah rah

[53:36] the flop house house cat

[53:39] yes and i'll meet you stuart wellington and i'm elliott kaelin

[53:43] goodnight everyone

[53:44] worst one ever

[53:51] and i found out that the kid who plays his son

[53:54] has a mild case of cerebral palsy

[53:56] and has to play it up for the show he's oh so he's minstrel-y that's what you're saying

[54:00] they hit him in the head a couple times

[54:02] to make it worse

[54:04] it's ok kid it's the part of a lifetime

[54:06] it's a show on AMC

[54:09] you like that con man bank robber show they did with robert vaughn right

[54:14] hustle hustle

[54:16] that was like a british

[54:18] uh... like kelly brooke

[54:20] charming kelly brooke

[54:23] charming i mean attractive

[54:24] she was uh... she was married to billy zane for a while yeah

[54:28] yeah that's weird

[54:30] oh he's a real cool dude

[54:33] solid-headed masculinity and he knows how to slam evil

The Flop House: Episode #73 - Devil

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