Ep. #217 - Independence Day: Resurgence

[0:00] On tonight's episode, we watched Independence Day Resurgence.

[0:06] Wow! I'm seeing double!

[0:30] Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy.

[0:41] Hey, Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington.

[0:44] Well, Stuart was kind of slowing down. No battery.

[0:48] And over here...

[0:50] It's interrupted.

[1:01] Oh, he's punching Bluto right out of here.

[1:03] Don't punch Wimpy, too. Oh, he's just in a berserker rage.

[1:06] He's on the battlefield. Oh, Popeye's destroying them all.

[1:09] Ripped Olive Oil's head off. Oh, God.

[1:12] And I'm Elliot Kalin.

[1:15] And this is the Flophouse.

[1:17] This is the Flophouse.

[1:18] And what do we do on this podcast?

[1:19] It's a podcast where we watch a bad movie, and then we talk about it.

[1:23] Before we get started, I'd like to welcome our new president, President Sex Criminal.

[1:27] Oh, man. Wow. Right off the bat.

[1:31] Look, we got to unify under President Sex Criminal.

[1:34] Wow. We're recording this the day after the election, and I guess Dan decided that no one's going to have any fun.

[1:41] It's a time for healing under President Sex Criminal.

[1:45] He just grabbed the wheel, started jerking it down one lane.

[1:49] Right into oncoming traffic.

[1:52] Jerking it in traffic.

[1:54] I think I'd be curious to find out, actually, if the political makeup of our listeners is in any way varied.

[2:03] I'm willing to believe that it's probably not.

[2:06] I think all three of us here certainly, and I'm willing to guess much of our listenership, if not the majority of it,

[2:13] sees yesterday as a victory for hate, fear, lies, sleaze, and the worst in the American public.

[2:22] Selfishness.

[2:24] Selfishness. That having been said, Daniel Kirk McCoy, there comes a certain point where one has to abide by the rules of the system that we have all agreed to be a part of.

[2:41] But in addition to that, find a way to oppose a leader you disagree with in a way that attracts or persuades others rather than turns them off.

[2:53] And that's the challenge we're going to figure out by the end of this episode.

[2:56] As we talk about independent state researchers.

[2:58] I don't know what you're talking about. I was being totally honest about my desire to all come together under President Sex Criminal.

[3:05] Elliot's stroking his beard.

[3:08] I mean, my stubble, because I didn't sleep well and I didn't shave this morning.

[3:12] Yeah. Anyway, we had to get that out of the way.

[3:15] Did we?

[3:16] I had to get that out of the way.

[3:17] Did we?

[3:18] Dan sometimes likes to drop what he calls truth bombs or T-bombs on us.

[3:23] I didn't want to get off on a rant.

[3:25] Well, you're trying to set up some really exciting improv opportunities, which you can clearly grasp.

[3:30] It's similar to how he will occasionally be like, oh, by the way, this first letter is super sad, so don't interrupt me.

[3:37] This is a story about somebody committing suicide.

[3:40] Hilarious.

[3:41] Why are you laughing at that?

[3:42] Out of embarrassment.

[3:43] Yeah.

[3:44] And here's the thing. That was a difficult night for me last night.

[3:48] It's a difficult night for a lot of people.

[3:50] It's going to be a difficult four years and it's going to suck pretty hard most likely.

[3:58] We'll figure it out.

[3:59] But one thing that did help me get through the day was hearing from a number of people that listening to Flophouse helped them get through the day.

[4:06] And so feeling like we are doing something worthwhile here for other people, at least even just as a means of escape, rather than just three guys circle jerking around nonsense about Independence Day resurgence or some crap.

[4:21] Was that what we watched tonight?

[4:23] All Dan could see was the election returns rolling over his eyes over and over again.

[4:28] He did not see the thousands of alien ships blasting each other to pieces.

[4:33] He did not see the prospect of hanging out with you guys and just circle jerking it, no matter what the movie.

[4:40] On to Independence Day, as people do apparently.

[4:43] I never understood that thing.

[4:45] I don't know that anyone ever really did.

[4:46] What are you talking about?

[4:47] That's like, you know those rainbow parties? What was that all about?

[4:50] Well, it was a made-up thing that no one ever actually did.

[4:53] Yeah, you're like, the golden snitch? Why would you catch it?

[4:56] Why wouldn't you catch it? It's worth all the points.

[4:59] Why would you bother with any other aspect of the game? The golden snitch is the game.

[5:04] Yeah, it's like J.K. Rowling watched Blood Heroes, a.k.a. Salute of the Jugger, and she's like, instead of a dog skull, I'm just going to make it the golden snitch.

[5:14] Instead of Rutger Hauer, I'm going to make, I don't know, Crabbe and Goyle or some bullshit.

[5:19] Yeah, exactly that.

[5:21] Those are all syllables. I recognize them as sounds.

[5:26] It might have been some language. Let's just say this, Dan. How about this? Maybe this will help you.

[5:31] Okay.

[5:32] What is the opposite of hate?

[5:35] Love.

[5:36] Thank you. You could read the other of Robert Mitchum's Knuckles.

[5:39] Okay.

[5:40] And let's take this thing that we do, which is ostensibly about tearing down somebody else's creative expression, and instead try to make it into a source of love.

[5:52] A love letter to the movies.

[5:54] A love letter to the movies and a love letter just to each other, to the listeners, to anyone around, to—

[6:02] Veteran actor Bill Pullman.

[6:04] Who's in this?

[6:05] He plays a guy with a beard.

[6:06] I have often walked down this street before, but the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.

[6:14] Oh, because of the gravity of the giant mothership that's sucking their kids in.

[6:18] Am I several stories high, knowing I'm on the street where you live?

[6:28] So to take that song literally, he is now a giant whose feet are no longer attached to the pavement.

[6:36] It's a song about a horror—it's like a body horror song.

[6:41] David Cronenberg's Flying Giant.

[6:43] Yeah, yeah.

[6:44] My Fair Flying Giant.

[6:45] Because there's nothing that makes you more uncomfortable with a body than seeing the feet not touching the ground anymore.

[6:52] The tall man would do that kind of stuff, right?

[6:55] I mean, I think he does, and he probably flies awkwardly, horizontally, like he's laying down.

[7:01] Oh, man, he's awesome.

[7:03] So anyway, love.

[7:04] What movie did we love watching tonight, Dan?

[7:06] We watched a movie called Independence Day, colon, Resurgence.

[7:11] Now this is—correct me if I'm wrong.

[7:13] Resurgence again.

[7:14] This is the sequel to Independence Day, the hit film of 1996, in which Will Smith welcomed an alien to Earth then punched him in the face.

[7:22] I think in that order, right?

[7:25] I think so, and Jeff Goldblum used like an Apple PowerBook to take down an alien fleet.

[7:29] And then Randy Quaid sacrificed himself so we could all survive, as he did in life.

[7:36] And Bill Pullman was the president, and he got into a flight suit and got into a plane, which gave a young George W. Bush the idea to do that when he was president someday.

[7:47] Now, Independence Day.

[7:48] What if George W. Bush's entire presidency was him imitating Bill Pullman in different movies?

[7:53] So he did that.

[7:54] He also dated Sandra Bullock while Sandra Bullock was pretending to be his brother Jeb's fiancée.

[7:59] Jeb was in a coma.

[8:00] Who was sleeping?

[8:02] His brother Jeb.

[8:04] I mean, look at the guy.

[8:05] He's essentially in a walking coma anyway.

[8:06] He was also shut in, and he made his vice president go out and do all the legwork for him.

[8:13] Help him solve crimes.

[8:14] Yeah.

[8:15] In a movie that wasn't funny, really, nor suspenseful.

[8:19] Wait, is that Zero Theorem?

[8:20] Zero Effect.

[8:21] Oh, Zero Effect.

[8:22] Zero Theorem is the Terry Gilliam movie with Christoph Waltz, right?

[8:25] Yeah, you're right.

[8:26] And Zero is the Mutant Liberation Front character who turned out to be an android who can teleport.

[8:32] Oh, you don't say.

[8:33] Yeah.

[8:34] So Bill Pullman's in this movie.

[8:35] You know, I had a paradox.

[8:36] This is a star-studded cast.

[8:38] Who comes back from the first movie?

[8:39] Not Will Smith.

[8:40] He is not interested.

[8:42] He seems less interested in aliens than he used to be.

[8:46] Once someone told me a story.

[8:48] He was after Earth.

[8:49] Those were not aliens, Dan, because those were on Earth.

[8:52] That's true.

[8:53] Yeah.

[8:54] Someone once told me a story that when Will Smith wanted to get into movies, his people looked at what are the highest grossing movies of all time, and they were all science fiction films.

[9:02] And he said, that's what I'm making.

[9:04] I'm making science fiction films.

[9:06] And so he did like Independence Day and Men in Black and I don't know what other ones.

[9:10] I mean somebody could just be playing Monday morning quarterback with Will Smith's career.

[9:13] That's true.

[9:14] And like Six Degrees of Separation where I think it turns out he's an alien at the end.

[9:17] I mean Soccer Channing has a kind of almost –

[9:20] Soccer Channing.

[9:22] Soccer Channing.

[9:23] She's also known as Soccer Challenge.

[9:25] It's time for a Soccer Challenge.

[9:29] Soccer Challenge.

[9:30] Oh, I'm sorry.

[9:31] Stalker Channing.

[9:32] Please welcome to the show.

[9:34] Thank you for being here.

[9:35] Stalkard?

[9:36] Sorry.

[9:39] Is that a name?

[9:41] Soccer Challenge is a name.

[9:44] I mean Stalkard is barely a name.

[9:47] I don't know what that – it's like Stockade basically, right?

[9:51] Yeah, or maybe it's like one of those medieval names where it's based on your profession and there was somebody who was a stock person.

[9:58] I guess so, yeah.

[9:59] Stalkard.

[10:00] Mm-hmm, and it's Channing because they she was a chain maker. Yep, cuz she was a Carol Channing impersonator

[10:07] That's what it was

[10:08] So this is in this movie. So Will Smith's not me, but Jeff Goldblum returns. There's a painter. There's a photo of Will Smith

[10:16] That's true. That is at least two photos

[10:17] There's a photo with a filter put on it to make it look like a portrait hanging in the White House

[10:21] Judd Hirsch returns Brent Spiner returns. Heck. Yeah, Robert Loza returns for a second from one second cameo and

[10:30] There's a lot of okay Fox is in it Vivica Fox. She's gone from stripper to doctor an inspiring story. Oh

[10:38] That was her

[10:39] Yeah, yes, okay

[10:41] Well, I just missed that part of the movie. Okay, so but let's tell the story of the film

[10:46] Shall we sure it's we this this movie has aged in real time

[10:50] It's 20 years since the original alien invasion of 1996. So they did a little bit of stunts casting

[10:55] It's like the comic strip for better or for worse it ages in real time just for better or worse agent

[11:00] I know gasoline alley did yeah, it does and funky winker bean and Doonesbury funky

[11:06] We could mean the least funky most depressing comic strip. Yeah in the pages the winker beaniest though. Did you know?

[11:12] Peanuts actually ages in real time, but it's set in a world where the children have been stunted by radiation

[11:19] It explains a lot about Snoopy. Oh, yeah. He's a mutant. That's how he can dance

[11:25] He is he's when he thinks people can hear it. He's like blood the dog in a boy a boy in his dog

[11:31] Mm-hmm in that also, he convinced Charlie Brown to cook Lucy so that they could they could then eat her

[11:39] Boy in his dog and he has like a proteus like power where he can fly as

[11:43] Just because he thinks it his his doghouse turns into a fighter plane

[11:49] Oh, no, he's used his advanced his advanced abilities to

[11:54] Yeah, turn the doghouse into a flying thing. But yeah, he has reality warping powers, which is why suddenly it's World War one again

[12:00] Mm-hmm. Suddenly he's a soldier

[12:03] He's lived a thousand lifetimes

[12:06] Just like Garfield in the book Garfield nine lives of Garfield

[12:12] So it's 20 years since the original alien invasion nine romantic lives of Garfield

[12:16] Which is what he's having sex with a different cartoon cat

[12:22] Playboy video from

[12:24] 93

[12:25] Why cuz it's all about Jurassic Park

[12:28] That's right. Welcome to playboys video calendar 1993

[12:32] We wanted to show you some hot models, but we know you want to see footage of Jurassic Park coming out this summer

[12:38] I'm just

[12:39] Imagining like a woman in a t-rex costume and there's just like two holes where our breasts are and they're poking out

[12:46] It probably exists somewhere

[12:48] It's amazing how much 1993 to me the one landmark I can go to is Jurassic Park and I date things by that

[12:55] So at least like the last five episodes you've mentioned it

[12:58] It's like Oh Independence Day with that alien race was in 1996 also known as 3 ad after dinosaurs

[13:04] Yeah, that's funny. I remember seeing

[13:07] I remember seeing

[13:10] Independence Day, I think it was like it was it came out in the summer

[13:14] I think it came on out on the 4th of July to be exact

[13:18] And I remember I was on

[13:21] Seeing I was on a soccer at a soccer tournament with my youth soccer team under Channing

[13:27] Yeah

[13:29] Channing soccer challenge

[13:34] Is the memorial soccer challenge with the Smothers Brothers soccer Channing Memorial soccer challenge brought to you by smokers and starbursts

[13:45] So I was at this I was at the soccer challenge and

[13:49] One afternoon when we were not playing games anymore. We all as a team went out to see

[13:55] Boy you were kidnapped on an island where the rich hunted you for sport and you're like, we're not playing games anymore

[14:01] No, this is a bug hunt man. Yep

[14:04] and I

[14:06] Said generals are off

[14:08] Please don't shoot me. I

[14:10] Know I'm the world's greatest hunter, but I do not want to be the hunted

[14:15] I remember when Independence Day came out and I remember as a I guess what 14 year old being like

[14:22] That was okay, and then when I got older I was like, oh that movie's not very good

[14:26] It's not very good, but I still have a lot of fondness for it. It's in the tradition of

[14:32] Your classic disaster movie and that it shows a lot of it has a lot of like, you know big stars

[14:40] Character actors they each have their own like storylines

[14:44] That converge at different points in the movie

[14:47] We get we really get to know them Oh characters before rich really inhabit that

[14:56] Tapestry, I'm Tennessee Williams. Watch out. I'm saying this in contrast to the movie watch

[15:02] Claire there's plenty aliens about to show always depended on the kindness of a

[15:08] I'm just saying that we we spend we spend actual time with these characters before things start blowing up

[15:13] Which is the exact opposite of the movie that we saw in Independence Day resurgence is 20 years later

[15:18] Earth has rebuilt using the alien technology to make laser guns and monorails and

[15:24] Everything looks like the people are living in SimCity 3000

[15:27] Yeah, we get a little bit of a rundown of what happened in the first Independence Day when an alien queen in her little space

[15:34] Chamber is just watching clips from the first movie. She's watching Bill Pullman's famous

[15:41] Independence Day speech

[15:43] With I assume anger they want revenge

[15:46] They've never been rejected by an inferior species before and it's time to make amends for that. We're on earth

[15:53] We briefly introduced the characters

[15:55] There's a couple of hot dog in space pilots

[15:58] There's Will Smith's son who's also a hot dog in space pilot. There's this Chinese space pilot. She's a hot dog in space pilot

[16:05] There's what's-her-name from it follows who is my aid to the president

[16:09] But also a former hot dog in space pilot and also the former hot dog daughter of the president

[16:15] Yeah, so it is current now. This is what this is a very specific moment when she was formerly a hot dog. Yeah

[16:22] Which transformed her into a real girl?

[16:25] This is a point where the movie got a little bit of flack because it brought everybody else back

[16:30] It brought back your your Judd Hirsch your Brent Spiner all the guys brought sexy back

[16:35] And but they did not bring back May Whitman who played the daughter of Bill Pullman in the original movie

[16:42] Even though May Whitman is a working actress nowadays. What did she do now?

[16:46] Her aka egg from okay rest of all men

[16:52] She's in a bunch of other she was it was in the movie the Duff. Yeah, she was the the titular Duff

[16:58] I don't know. It was a good movie

[17:00] It's a movie that posits that every group of women have a less attractive woman that hangs out with them

[17:09] MTV Duff McKagan

[17:11] In order to throw their attractiveness into sharper relief. I see and it's a romantic

[17:18] high school romantic comedy where

[17:21] the titular Duff

[17:24] You're saying it weird dude now, here's the thing about Independence Day

[17:27] I

[17:29] Independence Day resurgence every character in this movie is either she wasn't brought back is what Stewart was getting at

[17:34] Yeah, and it's fucking weird and stupid cuz she's a working actress

[17:37] And there's no reason not to bring her back as much as I love Michael Monroe's performances and the guest and it follows

[17:43] We also forgot hot dog and Hemsworth hot dog and Hemsworth, which Hemsworth. It's one of the Hemsworth's

[17:48] Yeah, I love the non Thor Hemsworth. Yeah, it's Dunstan. Yeah, it doesn't check

[17:53] Just checks Hemsworth his parents named him after their favorite movie Dunstan

[18:00] They all these ever almost every character is either the child of a character from the previous movie or a fighter pilot or

[18:08] Both. Mm-hmm. There is a very small world in which everyone is a child of somebody else. Who's also Karen?

[18:14] Everyone's a child of somebody

[18:16] Come on, you know what? I mean, there are very few like new characters

[18:20] Who are not related to previous characters unless they are William Fickner as a four-star general who?

[18:27] Well, we'll tell you what for Michelin, so it's in the future

[18:32] I mean, it doesn't even go that high even get burnt to get that far

[18:36] You you know, what happens is you take one bite of his food and it's so good you orgasm and then die

[18:41] So that fourth mission star is a warning. This will be the best food you've ever tasted

[18:45] The last thing you ever do and you know what people will like a thousand dollars for that like even if I lock up my

[18:51] weenus in a cage

[19:01] So I'll eat that thing I'll eat that sandwich or whatever the fuck he makes me

[19:09] I'll take that cage off my weenus

[19:12] I'm dead

[19:14] Bury me with honors

[19:17] Bury me with the rest of the sandwich. I'll eat it in heaven. Remember me as a guy who had a cage on his weenus

[19:23] Nicholas weenus cage

[19:26] Nicholas cage, that's what they call it

[19:30] So anyhoo, it's the future everything it's at it's our year 2016

[19:34] But it's the future is they've alien technology and on the moon base where they have a moon defense space set up

[19:40] We're introduced to the Hemsworth and his buddy they're both orphans or whatever. I think their parents were killed in the big alien invasion

[19:48] Yes, mysterious craft appears through a wormhole and earth is like blow the shit out of that thing

[19:55] And they shoot it down. Yeah, we earth relies on its base

[20:00] human instincts of violence meanwhile now granted it does look like when it's

[20:04] coming through that wormhole it looks like it looks like the cover of morbid

[20:07] angels gateways of annihilation it does meanwhile back at home by which I mean

[20:14] earth welcome to it Jeff globlum is still out

[20:18] investigating his aliens and he's in the middle of Africa where there's a

[20:22] leftover alien ship that landed and where the locals have finally finished I

[20:28] guess by hand hunting down these aliens yeah and we're introduced to a group of

[20:33] characters Jeff Goldblum the scientist from the first movie an English

[20:36] scientist who's some kind of psychologist who specializes in people

[20:40] who have met aliens who's hanging out there some nerdy guy who is hanging

[20:45] around Jeff Goldblum a French scientist oh she's French I thought she was yeah

[20:48] some nerdy except her mother was in London I don't know she's played by

[20:54] Charlotte Gainsbourg so I mean all I know is sometimes when you have that

[20:58] like globetrotting euro lifestyle some of your family lives somewhere somewhere

[21:04] else in London lunch in Paris midnight and good night Irene mm-hmm and then

[21:10] we're introduced to the leader of the the the warlord the leader of this group

[21:15] of African alien hunter dudes and he even though everyone has huge honking

[21:20] laser missile rifles that everyone's holding all the time laser rifles that

[21:24] are so big cable should be carrying them around he prefers to have two

[21:30] machetes strapped to his back yeah that he uses to slice up aliens he's the

[21:35] Leonardo he's the Deadpool yes whoever has to thank swords sticking out of

[21:39] their back so let's go back to those laser guns so they have these laser guns

[21:42] that they stole from the aliens or retro engineered all the aliens have the same

[21:47] guns when they show up and they do I don't remember them ever seeing those

[21:50] guns in the original film no you're gonna do they wreck probably fucking

[21:53] found them somewhere and one of the alien ships the but the thing is that

[21:57] it doesn't make a lot of sense that like everybody is carrying these giant alien

[22:02] lasers everywhere they go like the Secret Service guys have them and they're

[22:05] huge like they're the biggest things in the world and that doesn't make any

[22:08] sense like the the trend with weaponry is to get smaller right so it's easier

[22:14] to hide no no smaller is is old-fashioned now it's all about big big

[22:17] weapons huh so you got to carry around like a cloud strife size buster sword

[22:23] gonna pretend I know what that means well you're like just pushing a

[22:26] trebuchet around I like the idea of like there's a cop on the beat this has to

[22:31] give his badge give me a badge and gun and the gun on your ankle and under his

[22:35] pant leg is this huge laser right he like can barely walk because it's it

[22:40] makes it his leg has to be strong that's my giant penis I have it on a wieners

[22:45] cage that doesn't make any sense it would be smaller if it was in a wieners

[22:49] cage the design of that wieners cage looks strangely alien almost like an

[22:55] alien laser rifle they retrofitted the alien wieners cage technology they find

[23:03] some stuff anyway they shoot this thing on the moon that a Jeff Goldblum and his

[23:08] team decided to go on the moon even though they're told not to by the in the

[23:12] first of many Google Hangouts which involve all the world leaders the

[23:17] president and anyone who seems to be around a speaker of some kind or a

[23:21] screen like the president will be talking to the leaders of the other

[23:24] countries and these space jockeys and their fighter jets will be able to

[23:29] listen in on it the moon base can hear what it is Jeff Goldblum on his laptop

[23:33] or his walkie-talkie can hear it every person's transparency oh yeah I guess so

[23:37] every piece of communications technology in this movie is so wide band that you

[23:41] can just pick it up on whatever there are folks driving their cars in the

[23:44] middle of the night just tune in the radio on the FM dial who are suddenly in

[23:48] on like national security conversations between world powers and stuff like that

[23:52] because if you broadcast everywhere yeah well after they defeated the aliens the

[23:56] first time they realized that this kind of a global community dude and

[23:59] everybody has to be able to talk to each other I guess so so but there are a

[24:05] number of parts later in the movie when like the president will be talking to

[24:09] somebody and be like we're running out of time the aliens are dead and then

[24:13] you'll see some guys on a fishing trawler listening on the radio no they're

[24:17] running out of time it's like why are you on this channel where what's your

[24:21] security clearance anyway they go up to the moon uh-oh after there's a scene

[24:26] where Liam Hemsworth uses his space tow truck to push a falling laser out of the

[24:31] way of killing some people which does not dear him to his you to his flight

[24:35] commander or whatever really extraneous detail it's just to show us it's a it's

[24:39] the scene where we see that he's a hero who doesn't play by the rules but he's

[24:43] right damn it he's not afraid to take risks and also he does it with a kind of

[24:47] Han Solo smirk and he's offianced to Michael Monroe the former president's

[24:55] daughter who is now the assistant to the current president yeah I mean that's

[24:59] because there's 13 people that's the kind of problem that happens with

[25:02] government though dude like revolving or entrenched and like epitome yeah that's

[25:06] why you need an outsider to shake it up preferably the worst person you can find

[25:09] maybe like a giant alien Queen uh let's not skip to the best part of the movie

[25:15] yet anyway suddenly the aliens attack remember how they had that big ship that

[25:20] went over their parts of course I mean that ship was enormous Elliot it was

[25:24] huge it is burned in my memory watching that alien ship slowly float out of some

[25:29] clouds and it really understand how much it dwarfs our small human society oh

[25:33] yeah it was a majestic now imagine if it was ludicrously bigger literally as

[25:39] quoted in the movie 3,000 miles long that's pretty big so that's how many

[25:43] miles it is to Graceland according to Kevin Costner yeah so the 3,000 mile

[25:49] alien ship which wants revenge comes out of cloaking killed its mom and the ship

[25:57] is so big that has its own gravity field and it's just pulling space debris up to

[26:02] it this gravity field you'll be happy to know is forgotten about roughly two

[26:05] thirds through the movie yeah as the mother alien mothership eventually just

[26:10] kind of settles somewhere and starts boring towards the earth called Earth's

[26:12] core but the alien mothership it destroys the moon base no one's left but

[26:16] a few of these hotshot fighter jockeys then it goes to earth and it's what 15

[26:21] to 20 minutes of just cities being destroyed by this thing just yeah

[26:25] bumping into them and all in and cars and airplanes falling and that's why

[26:29] it's so weird that the gravity thing gets abandoned later in the movie

[26:35] Is it so much to be excited because it is clearly the most effective weapon that

[26:38] these aliens have like it's not necessarily intended as a weapon it's

[26:41] just the fact that their spaceship is so huge that has its own gravitational

[26:45] field XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX L that's but it that's a thing like it it like totally

[26:54] smashes up the moon and then it totally like slams into the earth like this a

[26:58] huge thing that has its own gravitational pull I know if you start

[27:01] messing up with the gravity at least according to the Akira comic book if you

[27:04] just blow up part of the moon like Tetsuo does that kind of like even that

[27:08] small change to the various tides the tides the weather patterns instead

[27:14] nothing happens unless you count in ships and airplanes it's part of the

[27:22] aliens plan they'll disrupt the moon's gravity so that every woman is on the

[27:26] same cycle all at once mm-hmm but all of all of our most effective women are

[27:31] having cramps they can't they can't react they didn't come on our army of

[27:36] bears being summoned by the smells not the way I was expecting more of like a

[27:41] menopausal warrior unit oh yeah that's it but the riding on the bears

[27:45] Mad Max they're like I guess yeah I guess that weighs what that motorcycle

[27:50] gang is like a menopausal warrior unit that like they'd be like we can't all of

[27:54] our all of our greatest fighter pilots or women we can't use them and then just

[27:58] all these Rosie the Riveters walk out with fighter pilot helmets under their

[28:02] arms they're like step aside youngster we'll take care of this one yeah you're

[28:08] just saying okay grandma do you know where you are right now it's 1946 and

[28:20] I'm fighting the Nazis okay the war was over by 1946 grandma you were there you

[28:24] should remember shooting Germans that's what your funny books tell you actually

[28:30] the war is still going on they're taking my pills all right grandma let's just

[28:35] set you aside right here hey Price is Right is on that's a conspiracy I'll

[28:39] watch it turns around so fast on it yeah well you know she doesn't remember

[28:46] things anywho yeah everything every place is being destroyed and so yeah

[28:52] this alien ship could basically extinct the human race if it just kept mowing

[28:57] the earth essentially yeah but then later on they just decide oh it's better

[29:01] just to have like planes fly around and shoot things and like yeah aliens come

[29:06] in with their like walk on the ground but boots on the ground with their alien

[29:11] guns it's not well but they need the mothership to start drilling through the

[29:15] ocean into the earth's core yeah needs to steal our hot gooey magma core the

[29:21] the hot nougat at the center of the earth which as we learn later the aliens

[29:26] use for power and to grow their technology a phrase which is never

[29:30] really explained or it doesn't really sound good anyway this is when wave two

[29:37] starts going on and we go through what is it just like flying jet attack after

[29:43] flying jet attack as humanity is like we're not gonna let them stop us this is

[29:48] our planet yeah 40 fighter jets go after it 38 of them are destroyed oh well

[29:53] this is our planet we're not gonna let them stop us yeah fight after most of

[29:58] the people are destroyed until it gets

[30:00] This like as Dan was saying while watching this ludicrous point where the odds are so against humanity and that like we have no satellite communication.

[30:08] We have barely any working technology.

[30:10] Much of the earth has been destroyed.

[30:13] We end as well and literally to the that old plot point that we saw in Battleship 2 where it's like good thing.

[30:18] The Smithsonian hasn't come by yet to pick up this old analog these old analog Jeeps and walkie-talkies.

[30:24] We used to have you know, the things that the alien technology can't interact with.

[30:28] I will say though.

[30:28] It's amazing that even before they take out the satellites, even though it's a 3,000 mile long spaceship that is causing an enormous gravity distortion problems.

[30:40] It does not affect cell service when Judd Hirsch is in a fishing speed a fishing boat.

[30:45] Yeah speeding away from the mothership crystal clear.

[30:49] No problem calling the Sun fucking Verizon or something on the other side of the earth.

[30:54] I mean, can you hear me now?

[30:55] Because there's a mothership at the same time.

[30:58] He's probably streaming episodes of fucking house.

[31:02] Remember house?

[31:03] Yeah, he's a doctor and he fucking doesn't play by the rules.

[31:06] No, he doesn't which I guess would be what the Hippocratic Oath.

[31:11] Yeah, I like can't keep straight the order of the events.

[31:16] But here's the basics a bunch of the fighter pilots get stuck inside the mothership.

[31:20] We forget about them for a long time on the mothership and they're like, okay, they're going to work closer.

[31:24] Yeah, we're close enough to this alien Queen.

[31:26] We're just going to detonate.

[31:27] Oh, there's a giant alien Queen on the mothership who is 40 feet tall.

[31:32] Yeah.

[31:32] She's a giant alien Queen and they see and they're there.

[31:35] They're a media reaction is queen and we're sharing the same dream and the odds are they'll destroy the Earth.

[31:46] Welcome to do started checking his phone.

[31:49] As soon as I'm like, oh, what's going on with Angry Birds angry.

[31:55] Nope.

[31:57] So they see this alien alien Queen on their Queen on their heat sensors and they're like shit.

[32:03] If we blow that thing up, we win the day.

[32:04] I bet.

[32:05] Yeah, so they have to just kill the boss level.

[32:08] Yeah.

[32:08] So they send their dudes in there.

[32:10] They the fucking Master Vampire and Lost Boys or whatever exactly like that.

[32:14] And you're like, but Edward Herman's the Master Vampire spoilers.

[32:19] So they fly in there like this is now this is pod racing and all of a sudden the aliens are like, ha ha fooled you idiots.

[32:27] This was a honeypot.

[32:28] We're tricking you guys to both close Admiral Akbar.

[32:32] It's a trap and then they blast them with this EMP.

[32:36] And once again Verizon comes through because despite the fact their planes are slowly slowly.

[32:41] Oh, so slowly falling out of the sky inside the alien in which has someone in a post dubbed piece of exposition explains what has its own ecosystem.

[32:51] Yep to explain why the inside of a giant spaceship are our fearless heroes are trudging through in like rice paddies deep.

[32:59] Yeah, rice paddies swamp.

[33:01] So they so after the EMP hits they still have plenty of like they have crystal clear signal.

[33:07] They can communicate people in fucking Norway on a fishing trawler can hear him and they tried to detonate their bombs, which once again should not be able to work after an EMP and the alien ship sends out little like remote control shuriken devices and go on the bombs and what blow them up or deactivate them.

[33:29] I don't know what they do.

[33:30] I'm not I don't I don't quite know what happened.

[33:32] Whatever happens.

[33:33] It doesn't work out.

[33:34] Our heroes are left to fend for themselves in this alien rice paddies.

[33:37] Now, here's something that we forgot to mention, which is that when the aliens are arriving a couple people who had past experience with these aliens are having horrible headaches.

[33:47] Bill Pullman's one of them that African warlord is another one and Brent Spiner the scientist from the first movie has been a coma for 20 years is another where it is very casually revealed that he is gay and his boyfriend is not husband because he went to a coma before gay marriage was legal anywhere.

[34:05] His boyfriend has been taking care of him and also works at the same secret area 51 project.

[34:11] That's where they fell in love.

[34:13] I have to assume so because otherwise it means that he got his boyfriend a job at this secret lab and like that's not ethical.

[34:19] It was the closest thing to a relationship that I cared about in the movie because like it seemed like they actually it seemed like two characters who actually knew each other and like and had a feelings for each other.

[34:29] Yeah, and I mean as opposed to all these characters works like you're my daughter.

[34:34] Daughter I mean and we're greeted with a parade of characters who I wish it was a parade at the end of eight and a half all day all the characters including the aliens just dance around in a circle.

[34:46] Well, we're introduced to all these characters who do some amazing exposition explaining the back story and relationships they all have.

[35:00] There's a scene where so Will Smith's son is a hotshot fighter pilot and he's about to fly to the moon.

[35:06] I can play among the stars in other words huge gravity ship 3000 miles long and in a report it goes.

[35:14] Seeing as your father died on an experimental test flight to the moon.

[35:18] How does it feel to be flying now out of a hangar named after him and it was like thank glad you packed all that exposition into that question so we wouldn't worry that Will Smith might show up later in the film or anything.

[35:28] Efficient screenwriting out there must have been some point where they wrote that sequel with Will Smith having a big part and he said yeah, I don't want a big part.

[35:37] They must have written it where he shows up in the third act like he's a prisoner of the aliens or something and then he goes on second thought.

[35:44] I don't want to do it and they just had to write him down right about just insert that line insert initiate booty protocol.

[35:52] Run the pooch maneuver.

[35:54] I have to leave now.

[35:56] He died on the moon.

[35:58] So humanity has been reduced to a ragtag team of misfits.

[36:04] The president of the United States is in an underground bunker and aliens burst in with laser rifles in their hands and she goes there will be no peace and everyone starts firing guns and it's like of course there'll be no peace.

[36:16] They destroyed millions of people and London China like all these places and I was going to the bathroom and I came back out and it was just a pee pee so it would have gone super fast and I came back and this whole thing happened.

[36:28] That's just evidence of how this movie seems to go at like a constant break break next break next it's a fast movie and it's two hours long but they pack like a season's worth of stuff into it and it does feel like you're watching like we're about to watch season two of Independence Day.

[36:45] The TV show and we're watching the like here's the like Netflix or like wrap up of the season one.

[36:51] Here's the recap special.

[36:52] When's Chris Hardwick going to come in and tell us what else is happening and they walk up to William Fickner and they go everyone in the presidential succession line is dead.

[36:59] You're the president now and he's like hand me a Bible.

[37:02] Yes.

[37:03] Okay.

[37:04] Swear me in.

[37:05] Get some King Ralph over here.

[37:06] Where's himself and spotted it.

[37:08] That's a food.

[37:09] I don't want to be King.

[37:10] I'll make my butler King.

[37:11] That's how it works in a monarchy, right?

[37:13] You know that as soon as King Ralph went back to the United States, the butler was mobbed or the butler to pieces and they're like Peter O'Toole.

[37:22] The butler was like, so I'm the king now, right?

[37:25] And then they found like some three-year-old who actually has a drop of royal blood in him and he went kill him and then ascended the Iron Throne of Britain.

[37:35] Yeah, exactly.

[37:36] Now, we've skipped over a fairly important thing in favor of much less important things, which is that the first thing that the first alien that is encountered in this movie is not a bad alien, but in fact a good alien.

[37:51] And Jeff Goldblum's like we don't know who it is.

[37:53] Don't shoot at it yet.

[37:54] And the president is like blast it.

[37:56] Take the shot.

[37:57] Destroy with extreme humanitude.

[37:59] But that happened at the beginning of the movie.

[38:02] And later on.

[38:04] Later on, they like have taken some scrap metal from the site of the crash back to Earth because they want to examine it because Jeff Goldblum's like this is I think a different alien species.

[38:15] I think this is not an evil alien.

[38:17] And it's the same shape as a mysterious shape that all these people who have had alien mind melds have been drawing in their sleep or whatever because it has to have a mystery or prophecy.

[38:26] It just looks like a circle.

[38:27] I mean like it might as well be like the drawing of a hula hoop from Hot Sucker Proxy.

[38:31] For kids.

[38:32] It actually looks like Marvin in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie.

[38:36] It looks like his head.

[38:37] It's just a white orb.

[38:38] It's like a bisected orb.

[38:39] With a black line on it.

[38:40] And it turns out to be this is the most hilarious exposition of the whole thing.

[38:44] Because so there's this character that we were introduced to a while earlier who is this kind of nerdy bureaucrat who is harassing Jeff Goldblum for some reason.

[38:54] He's like checking up on money that a grant was given to him for something.

[38:58] I don't know.

[38:59] It's the loosest plot line as to why this guy is there.

[39:02] And it's not like if this movie came out like 30 or 40 years ago and this person was like a famous singer.

[39:09] And they're like oh we just need an excuse to keep this person in the movie.

[39:13] We needed a reason that Donovan would be in this movie.

[39:15] Yeah exactly.

[39:16] We needed a reason that one of the Parkers is.

[39:18] Why this famous tap dancer.

[39:20] We needed a role for one of the Nicholas brothers.

[39:23] This is why we need the Harlem Globetrotters are going to come along on this adventure.

[39:28] We signed Evil Can Evil Do contracts.

[39:30] We've got to put him in a movie.

[39:32] We've got Rip Taylor here.

[39:33] He's going to need to use confetti.

[39:35] That's part of his bid right at the end of the movie.

[39:37] Figure out a justification for why he has confetti.

[39:40] Look do I know why we cast Mike Dukakis in role TBD for the movie?

[39:45] No.

[39:46] Just find a place to stick him.

[39:47] I don't care.

[39:49] So yeah there's this nerdy guy.

[39:51] Who is just comic relief.

[39:52] He's just like this functionary character.

[39:54] Bureaucratic functionary.

[39:55] But he's the constant tag along stowaway who does his useless and just kind of is like.

[40:00] uh... what do i do here uh... i would just

[40:03] here we go again exactly he manages by touching this or to activate it

[40:07] and or turns on those

[40:09] all i recognize your again a signature you humans i learned your primitive

[40:12] language anyway

[40:13] i'm from this planet were survivors of the aliens go here's what they do this

[40:17] your course this is a refugee planet we got all this technology and stuff any

[40:21] who you gotta protect me is

[40:23] the most blatant exposition dump and the orb is not even trying to put it across

[40:28] it is just might you may well use just like a speech to take a text-to-speech

[40:32] program to worry it's exciting because the orb is a giant white ball

[40:36] yeah

[40:37] with a black line in the middle so it's the visual productions are astounding

[40:42] but uh... so

[40:43] what they find out is

[40:44] if the alien queen finds this orb

[40:47] than the alien queen's gonna learn the location of the refugee planet and

[40:50] that's it for any civilization that's not

[40:53] evil aliens it's basically like in the matrix when the matrix robots find

[40:58] out where what is it what was bad along with the foot they call the uh...

[41:02] where all the humans live is it called signed out as i am not right

[41:06] it's the same thing

[41:07] uh... that one is i am are the exact opposite

[41:10] the literally the exact opposite concepts over i mean the uh... the thing

[41:14] for the matrix is the same as the thing from this uh... yeah i guess so it's the

[41:18] end it works the same as in the x files when it turned out there were rebel

[41:20] aliens fighting the evil conspiracy aliens you know

[41:24] and if you

[41:25] and uh... evil way

[41:27] i don't want them to be really and so you get a black oil

[41:30] because the rebel aliens had their faces melted shots of the black whale can get

[41:34] in and so were the evil aliens trying to find out the secret base of the rebel

[41:38] aliens so they can wipe it all out probably the same as in star wars or

[41:43] whatever

[41:43] alright so they're like your killer base now that i've activated

[41:48] the alien queen will notice my radiation and they go

[41:51] and jeff goldblum puts his fingers together as jeff goldblum does uh...

[41:55] uh... fascinating interesting

[41:57] uh... uh... perhaps if we

[42:00] could set up

[42:01] is that your jeff goldblum from earth girls are easy impression no that would be like

[42:05] ee haw haw haw haw haw

[42:09] if we set up a trap here perhaps we could

[42:13] do to them what they did

[42:15] uh... to us uh... brundle fly uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... uh...

[42:21] ernie kovacs other other roles that he's played you know

[42:24] let's go fast yes so

[42:27] now there's a couple there's two different we need somebody to lead the aliens over

[42:31] here we're gonna create this box that gives off the same signal as the orb

[42:35] we need someone to

[42:37] go on a suicide mission to bring it out into the desert

[42:40] and then when the alien queen gets to it set off a cold fusion nuke

[42:44] so that which is something we have now and destroy it and we'll use one of our

[42:49] tk space shields to control the blast

[42:53] uh... and the president's daughter is like sounds good to me

[42:57] it's a no dumber a plan than when we just threw a hundred ships at it and expected

[43:01] them to do the job

[43:03] and the president's daughter is like i'll do it and the president goes no and he's shaved his beard

[43:07] that's how you know it's serious

[43:08] it's like bruce wayne in the beginning of dark knight returns when he shaves his mustache off

[43:11] and you're like shit he's gonna be batman again

[43:13] uh... he's shaved off his beard and he's like

[43:15] i'll do it

[43:16] i'm the best one for the job i'm the only one who can do it

[43:19] and he's like wait a minute you are

[43:21] at least

[43:22] thirty to forty years or older than every other one of these pilots

[43:26] your eyesight must be shit

[43:28] you need a walking stick or a cane to walk like your reflexes and your

[43:31] coordination is gonna be bad

[43:34] your bones are probably brittle

[43:36] you just shaved so your face is all sensitive

[43:38] you are the worst person to fly this mission also whenever he gets near aliens

[43:43] he starts to freak out and his head hurts

[43:47] and they potentially can take control of his body and they should have been like

[43:51] your speeches are the only thing that motivates people to fight aliens if we

[43:54] lose you

[43:55] and another alien attack comes

[43:57] we found out a lot of the information about the aliens from the time the

[44:00] president

[44:01] snuck into a secret chamber

[44:04] released an alien that was in captivity and let the alien choke him out for a

[44:09] while and inhabit his brain which was crazy. oh yeah the area 51 secret alien

[44:13] prison

[44:14] uh...

[44:16] anywho

[44:17] he gets into that space tow truck with the thing in it and the bombs

[44:20] goes off to the desert

[44:22] meanwhile judd hirsch we haven't talked about him in a while

[44:25] he is trying to get to his son at area 51 they haven't talked in a while

[44:29] and he makes a big deal about that because we haven't forgotten that he's

[44:32] jewish so he has to always be nudging his son about things. he has gotten so much more

[44:38] jewish in the first movie he was like

[44:40] he's just a jewish guy in this one i swear i'm just a jewish guy

[44:45] his accent has gotten so much more old world it's like wait a minute

[44:49] so

[44:50] are you from the old country like what's going on do i love him

[44:55] for twenty five years i've slept with him fought with him

[44:59] starved with him

[45:01] twenty five years my bed is his

[45:04] if that's not love

[45:06] what is then you love me

[45:10] i suppose i do

[45:14] and i suppose i love you too

[45:19] it doesn't change a thing

[45:22] but even so

[45:25] after twenty five years

[45:30] that's the arrangement from the movie

[45:31] it's nice to know

[45:35] so the weird thing is the difference what have we left

[45:38] nothing much

[45:40] only anna terry 76 trombones led the big parade

[45:45] we had to go to the most goyish musical there is

[45:48] the uh... it was fun to see the difference between when elliot sings his

[45:52] letter songs and steward and dan check their phones or just

[45:57] moan

[45:58] and that performance where we're like oh yeah we like that thing you're in rapture

[46:01] well it's a beautiful song from a great show

[46:03] uh... so jennifer's has picked up a literally a school bus full of children

[46:07] and i think

[46:09] was driving into danger and he's driving across the desert area fifty one

[46:13] and the alien mothership shows up

[46:15] humans shoot it down out of the plan works bill pullman sacrifices life

[46:19] blows it up uh... but uh... oh

[46:21] the alien queen emerges she had her own shield and she is

[46:25] fifty feet tall sixty feet tall

[46:28] and this is where the movie to be honest

[46:31] i really started enjoying but as if you have a giant alien running through the

[46:35] desert is batting down jet fighters with their hands and that will part of it is

[46:39] that i'm holding a laser gun that must be three hundred feet long

[46:42] yet then it's the but it's the same exact same does i think you know that

[46:46] it was like they took it and used in in beginning ray and just made a bigger but

[46:50] it it also a little part of what made it fun is that you this whole scene of the

[46:54] alien queen like galloping across the white white sand dunes yeah

[46:59] is one of the rare scenes that has uh...

[47:01] has a a fair amount of like difference in color tone yes you're not just in this

[47:06] like super dark

[47:08] super dink ass uh... like moist weed

[47:12] pile

[47:13] when you're either in a wet swampy mothership or you're in an underground

[47:16] bunker there's very little natural light in this movie

[47:19] and we forgot to mention that

[47:21] the humans that are trapped in the bunker they managed to steal some alien

[47:24] ships

[47:24] through the diversion of

[47:26] the hemsworth

[47:27] just peeing in front of a bunch of aliens and they're so appalled by this

[47:31] that i guess they can't take their eyes off of it and see the other humans getting into the ships

[47:34] why would a being just get rid of fluid like that that's valuable moisture

[47:39] we recycle it

[47:41] for our in-spaceship slumps sad thing is hemsworth is now on the uh... aliens

[47:46] sex offenders list yeah for

[47:48] exposing himself for public exposure well he has to show up in alien small claims court

[47:52] uh... for his ticket for public urination he has to knock on every uh...

[47:56] spaceship

[47:58] tell them that he's living in the neighborhood i would have loved it if they were going to

[48:01] that alien rice paddy swamp

[48:02] and there's a bunch of like alien hick swamp people

[48:05] well like alien slaves from other races that they've enslaved that would have been great

[48:10] that's basically a scene from prophet yeah that's true

[48:14] i was thinking more along the lines of like even within the alien ship there's this hierarchy of

[48:18] like

[48:18] there's the sophisticated aliens and then there's like the country cousins who hang

[48:22] out in the swamp area and just live in shacks hunting nutria playing banjos

[48:27] i don't believe in alien queens

[48:30] i want to vote for alien billionaire man i'm living off the grid in this mothership

[48:35] sure

[48:35] uh...

[48:36] but anyway the alien queen is just glumping through the desert

[48:39] and

[48:40] everyone's shooting

[48:41] missiles at her and laser beams

[48:44] the president's daughter is finally shooting things in her jet plane

[48:47] uh...

[48:48] and

[48:49] and eventually they blow up the alien queen

[48:51] and her armor splits open

[48:53] and her gooey body flies out now that was great

[48:56] not only was this a giant alien monster running around on the white sands of

[49:01] what new mexico? yep like anthony hopkins in the world's fastest indian

[49:06] uh... but when this alien queen dies yeah yeah it is right it uh... squirts out all

[49:11] kinds of juice all over the place because as you remember the aliens are shell

[49:16] bodies with little with like

[49:18] moist

[49:19] fleshy uh... their real selves inside yeah it's like a tiny little turd in there

[49:25] they're afraid to be vulnerable

[49:26] and that's if anything

[49:28] worse than being vulnerable you know what's weird is why did the humans when they put

[49:32] them aliens in uh... jail

[49:35] why'd they uh... why'd they put them in jail in that armor? the same way that

[49:38] in old comic books you'll see the bad guy in his costume in a jail cell and you're like

[49:42] this guy's powers are completely relying on the tech in his suit why didn't you take

[49:46] that off of it? why would you put the shocker in his costume in a cell? there's literally in the first

[49:52] appearance of the vulture

[49:53] the last panel i think is him in a jail cell in his costume it's like you know

[49:57] he has no powers he's just an old man right?

[49:59] take that costume off

[50:00] If you take the scorpion's tail off his body, he's just a weird bald guy.

[50:05] He's, I think, surgically attached to that tail.

[50:07] That would be horrible to remove it from him, but those are the lengths we're going to have to take.

[50:12] There's a book, there's a little golden book that Sammy has that's Marvel superhero characters,

[50:18] and there's a scene where the Avengers are taking Ultron to jail,

[50:22] and Ultron's got his hands behind him like they're handcuffed, and he's got his look on his face like,

[50:26] and they're just pushing him, and it's like, it takes a lot of the mystique away from Ultron

[50:31] if they can just frog march him into a jail cell.

[50:34] Anywho, maybe they powered him down.

[50:36] So, at the same time, that nerdy guy we were talking about before...

[50:40] That's basically killing him, though, right?

[50:41] I guess so.

[50:42] That nerdy guy we were talking about before, he's befriended the African warlord,

[50:45] who's macheted some aliens together, and he's turned into an alien-shooting badass

[50:49] who uses lasers to shoot them.

[50:51] Brent Spiner has seen his boyfriend, his life partner, die in front of his eyes,

[50:55] which has given him grief-rage abilities, which make him an excellent marksman at shooting aliens with lasers.

[51:00] Again, one of the only scenes that had any emotional impact,

[51:04] although then Brent Spiner in the very next scene went back to just being excited to be talking to this orb.

[51:09] I mean, wouldn't you be? It's a cool orb.

[51:11] And so, anyway, long story short...

[51:13] So, wait a minute.

[51:14] You're saying the scene that had emotional impact was when Brent Spiner picked up an alien rifle,

[51:19] and he's like, whaaaaaa!

[51:21] And he just started blasting all them aliens as they're like,

[51:23] I guess we're just going to start filing through the door into a hail of withering laser fire.

[51:28] This is one of those movies, too, where the aliens are brilliant tactical soldiers

[51:33] until it's time for them to start losing,

[51:35] and then they're the keystone cops bumbling into each other and knocking each other down.

[51:41] Everyone blows up everything, and Brent Spiner shows up.

[51:45] That was the Taiwanese title for this movie, actually.

[51:48] Yeah, yeah, Chino Chebe's Everything Blows Up Everything.

[51:51] Wow.

[51:54] The day has been saved.

[51:56] Earth is once again free, even though it's maybe a billion people less than it was before.

[52:01] And they're like, we did it, huh? That's pretty good.

[52:05] And Brent, everyone kisses.

[52:07] Everyone has a partner to kiss, because like a Shakespeare play,

[52:12] it ends with the reassertion of societal norms and couples coming together

[52:17] in the natural order of things.

[52:20] I half expected the woman from Alien vs. Predator

[52:24] and the predator from Alien vs. Predator to show up and kiss each other at that point.

[52:28] There was a point both Stuart and I said—

[52:30] Judd Hirsch turns around and kisses the bus.

[52:33] If that nerdy bureaucrat kisses that African warlord, this is the best movie ever made.

[52:40] I mean, that fact that there was a gay relationship in it was nice to have.

[52:45] But we were saying, so Will Smith's son in the movie—

[52:48] it's not really his son, but the character's son—

[52:50] and the Hemsworth are old friends who had a falling out

[52:53] because one guy caused trouble for the other one in training.

[52:56] And that friendship, nothing has ever really made much of it,

[53:01] and it would have been so much more powerful if they had been lovers and had had a falling out.

[53:05] Oh yeah, this is now. This is 20 years since the last one.

[53:09] They're two openly gay guys who were both in the military and their relationship went apart.

[53:13] Well, and part of the strain would be that they were lovers at one point,

[53:16] and now he's engaged to the former president's daughter.

[53:19] That's going to cause some heat and spice to this.

[53:22] This is a new side of you that I'm not used to seeing, but that doesn't happen.

[53:26] They're just old pals.

[53:28] They're old friends just like Simon and Garfunkel who hate each other now.

[53:32] Brent Spiner goes up to, I don't know, Jeff Goldblum and is like,

[53:35] Hey, I was just talking to this orb.

[53:38] They want us to lead the resistance against the big aliens.

[53:42] Get ready for some interstellar travel.

[53:44] And I think the last line is literally,

[53:46] We're going to kick some big alien ass, cut to credits.

[53:50] And it was like the movie is begging you to ask for a third one where you see that happening,

[53:55] but it was like, I'm good.

[53:57] But also with the fact that there is not going to be a third one probably

[54:02] based on the middling performance of this, that's the wackiest end for a movie.

[54:07] It's like the end of –

[54:09] No, it's just like now we're going to go beat them up, cut.

[54:14] It's like the ending of the Super Mario Bros. movie where they're like,

[54:17] Well, we did it, and then Princess Peach shows up with a big laser and is like –

[54:21] or maybe it's a big automatic weapon and is like,

[54:23] You guys, we need your help.

[54:25] Here's a bigger problem, and it says to be continued.

[54:27] Never made a sequel. Don't know what that was all about.

[54:30] I have to assume they failed, and that's why no one made a movie about it.

[54:34] Mario and Luigi's heads are adorning the castle parapets of Bowser Jr.

[54:39] It's like how originally Back to the Future,

[54:42] originally the end of Back to the Future was just meant to be the end of Back to the Future.

[54:46] They were not going to make sequels.

[54:48] So when he comes in, he's like, Marty, you've got to come with me.

[54:51] We've got to save your kids.

[54:53] Where we're going, we don't need roads.

[54:55] Well, we do much of the time, actually.

[54:57] I exaggerated.

[54:59] In the future, cars can fly, but we do still have land-based roads.

[55:03] And we've got sky roads, too, because we need to have some sort of air traffic control.

[55:08] We need some sort of traffic pattern or else cars are just flying willy-nilly.

[55:12] Also, quick note, I should have told you this ahead of time,

[55:15] you can't hover over water unless you've got power.

[55:17] I don't know what it means either, but everyone says it around here.

[55:20] Also, remember Max Headroom?

[55:22] I didn't think you would. It's huge.

[55:24] And there's a magical sports almanac that gives somebody superpowers.

[55:30] I don't know if that's exactly what happens.

[55:33] He grabs onto it and he says,

[55:35] He says, power of sports.

[55:37] Klaatu, Baratta, Niktu or some shit.

[55:40] And then a bunch of robots show up and then, uh-oh, vampires.

[55:47] So we are left hanging on an adventure into space that will most likely never happen.

[55:52] Where it's just Brent Spiner, Jeff Goldblum, Judd Hirsch and the gang.

[55:57] It's so great that basically every character from the movie shows up.

[56:02] They're standing outside, and outside in this movie means on a soundstage.

[56:07] Yeah.

[56:08] So obviously.

[56:09] On a green screen soundstage.

[56:10] On a green screen soundstage.

[56:11] On a city green screen soundstage.

[56:14] Yeah, they're not at a soundstage and you can see boom mics and giant lights hanging out.

[56:20] Just flats piled up behind them.

[56:22] No, basically.

[56:23] Minnesota flats.

[56:24] They basically all are like,

[56:26] Wait a minute, we can go to outer space and invite some aliens?

[56:29] Why not?

[56:30] And they all give each other high fives and thumbs up and crack some fucking beers.

[56:35] It's like the end of it.

[56:36] And you're like, simmer down, dudes.

[56:38] You guys just had a fucking crazy adventure.

[56:40] There were lives lost.

[56:42] Why don't we take a second to regroup?

[56:43] Let's take a second to remember that the world is in chaos right now,

[56:47] and the Earth's governments have been decimated.

[56:50] Let's set up.

[56:51] You can control them with an iron fist now that you have the omnipresent threat of alien invasion.

[56:56] And also because you can channel your chi into your fist to make it as hard as iron.

[57:02] Danny Rand, you learned it in Kunlun.

[57:05] Sure.

[57:06] Coming soon to Netflix.

[57:08] All right.

[57:09] Come on, guys.

[57:11] We're playing the game where you don't know the reference.

[57:14] It's time to do our final judgments on this movie,

[57:18] whether it was a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie,

[57:22] or a movie kind of like,

[57:24] Stewart, I see you pawing at your beer, sadly, because it's gone.

[57:29] What do you have to say about this movie?

[57:31] Like a Stewart with a beer that's gone.

[57:34] I felt kind of empty after finishing this movie.

[57:38] There was not a ton to it.

[57:40] It moved at a super good clip.

[57:43] I was hoping that there was going to be more wacky shit,

[57:45] and there was a lot of stupid, terrible crap.

[57:48] It's a very dumb movie.

[57:51] But I like the scene where the alien was like galloping around being a crazy giant alien queen.

[57:58] Maybe it was a good, bad movie.

[58:01] It's so close to just a bad, bad to a good, bad.

[58:04] I am going to go out on an alien-sized limb, a 3,000-mile limb,

[58:09] and say that for the wrong reasons, this is a movie I kind of liked, and I'll tell you why.

[58:14] It felt like I was watching a movie made out of the cut scenes of a game that I wasn't playing,

[58:21] like I just put in the cut scene mode, or I was watching someone at –

[58:26] I was watching like – there's some Japanese TV show that ran for 13 episodes,

[58:30] but they are going to distribute it in American theaters as a movie and try to chop it down to two hours.

[58:35] It moved so fast, and it was so dumb, and it was so overpacked with nonsense.

[58:39] And by the time the giant alien queen was running around the desert, I was like,

[58:43] all right, movie, you're super stupid, but I'm enjoying myself on a genuine level,

[58:50] like not on an ironic level, on like this is genuine garbage that I'm enjoying.

[58:54] In many ways, more than the first one because it was 10 times stupider, 10 times faster,

[59:00] and every time I started getting bored, something else would happen.

[59:04] The one thing I didn't like were the scenes where the gravity was destroying whole cities and stuff like that.

[59:11] You don't like that? You don't like seeing all of humans' achievements just decimated by stupid aliens?

[59:17] I found that genuinely troubling, and it may just be that I've had like a pit in my stomach since last night.

[59:24] I think we're all working through some shit.

[59:26] Yeah, but it was like I found that genuinely displeasing and troubling,

[59:29] but there was something like I really enjoyed about watching that alien queen running through the desert

[59:34] with that blue sky behind it and the white sand underneath it.

[59:37] And you're like keep running, you beast.

[59:40] Keep running, running, breaking away, breaking away to electric alien boogaloo.

[59:45] And it was the only well-choreographed action scene of the whole movie where I knew where the fighter jets were

[59:52] in comparison to the alien, and as stupid as it was, like that scene worked for me.

[59:57] So I'm going to say I kind of like this movie even though I'm just not a big fan of it.

[1:00:00] It is dumb. It's dumb as a bag of sticks.

[1:00:02] And I feel like, you know, they did try and sneak in a couple of, like,

[1:00:05] inspiring, bullshit-inspiring speeches, but they didn't go on that long.

[1:00:10] No.

[1:00:11] So you don't feel like, like, come on, guys, fuck off.

[1:00:14] The first Independence Day had a little bit of the trouble that Olympus Has

[1:00:17] Fallen has, where it's like, you guys know this didn't happen, right?

[1:00:21] Like, this is all fictional, and I'm not going to have a real emotional

[1:00:24] response to Earth freeing itself from aliens in this way, because this is not

[1:00:29] a real battle that happened.

[1:00:31] This movie, not for a moment.

[1:00:32] Was it trying to create any emotional resonance?

[1:00:34] It's a strong stance against all of fiction.

[1:00:38] Well, no.

[1:00:39] You're like, ah, don't try and trick me, movie.

[1:00:42] None of this ever happened.

[1:00:43] It's more of a...

[1:00:43] I'm not going to have an emotional response.

[1:00:45] No, no.

[1:00:45] When a movie has the genuine emotional heft, to have an emotional response is

[1:00:49] one thing.

[1:00:50] But when it's a dumb action movie, but they're going to have a scene in it

[1:00:53] where they're like, damn it, you're going to be proud of America for the way we

[1:00:57] handled this alien invasion.

[1:00:59] Like, uh, I'm going to save that for when I watch a movie about a real thing, or

[1:01:05] a movie that is about characters that I feel about, you know?

[1:01:08] As opposed to, like, but this movie, not for a moment.

[1:01:10] It was like, you want some dumb stuff?

[1:01:12] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

[1:01:15] But wait, the moment when you see it...

[1:01:16] And now we're going to tease the dumbest movie ever made.

[1:01:20] What about the scene where you see a bunch of Tibetan monks sitting around an

[1:01:23] old radio, and they're like, listening in to the president have a private

[1:01:26] conversation with his joint chiefs of staff.

[1:01:28] Yeah, even that seemed pretty phoned in.

[1:01:33] You guys have jabbered on a long time, so I'm just going to quickly say...

[1:01:36] Good, great, Dan's favorite.

[1:01:38] I can't go with you guys.

[1:01:42] Too small?

[1:01:43] I had more fun watching this than a lot of bad, bad movies, but I still feel like

[1:01:48] the movie cut out everything that could have given me any reason to care about

[1:01:53] any of the characters.

[1:01:55] And I don't know whether...

[1:01:57] I don't know.

[1:01:58] I actually guess I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing, because the

[1:02:01] fact that they cut all that shit out meant that the movie went so fast.

[1:02:06] But at the same time, I couldn't care less about anything that happened in the

[1:02:10] movie.

[1:02:11] I will say that on the Emmerich scale, it's better than like...

[1:02:17] Which is how they measure farts?

[1:02:18] Yeah.

[1:02:19] It's better than schlock like 10,000 BC or Godzilla.

[1:02:23] I liked stupider movies, I think, even in this, like 2012 more than it...

[1:02:29] I still haven't seen 2012, yeah.

[1:02:31] Yeah.

[1:02:32] I lived it four years ago.

[1:02:39] What movies should I go see this weekend?

[1:02:42] Should I care about the Emmys?

[1:02:44] Is this meme already dead?

[1:02:46] Is VR cool?

[1:02:47] What happened to Choose Your Own Adventure book?

[1:02:49] Are the Kardashians for real?

[1:02:51] For answers to these questions and so much more, come on over to Pop Rocket, a

[1:02:55] pop culture roundtable show with me, Guy Branum.

[1:02:58] Wynter Mitchell.

[1:02:59] Margaret Wappler.

[1:03:00] And Oliver Wang.

[1:03:01] Catch us every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you decide to get your

[1:03:05] podcast.

[1:03:06] I'm not going to judge.

[1:03:12] Before we get into sponsors, we have an exciting announcement, which is on

[1:03:17] Saturday, February 11th, Maximum Fun.

[1:03:21] You know them.

[1:03:21] That's our podcasting network.

[1:03:23] Yeah, there's a ton of great shows.

[1:03:24] Lots of great podcasts they're home to.

[1:03:26] They're bringing something called Very, Very Fun Day to Chicago's Thalia Hall for

[1:03:32] an unforgettable day of laughs.

[1:03:34] VVFD, as I'm calling it, will feature the Maximum Fun podcast, Judge John

[1:03:42] Hodgman.

[1:03:42] You said that very French, Judge John Hodgman.

[1:03:45] Oh, and also Boo.

[1:03:47] Jordan, Jesse, Go.

[1:03:48] Yay.

[1:03:49] Us, the Flophouse.

[1:03:51] Oh, no, Ross and Kerry.

[1:03:53] Yay.

[1:03:53] Tights and Fights and Stop Podcasting Yourself.

[1:03:57] Awesome.

[1:03:58] Along with other festivities, including local podcasts, The Nerdette,

[1:04:02] Friendshipping, and Reclaimed Soul, and stand-up comedy sets from local comics,

[1:04:07] Q&As, and more, all spread across Thalia Hall's three spaces.

[1:04:12] Tickets will be on sale Friday, November 11th.

[1:04:15] That'll be the day before this is dropping, actually, so they will be on

[1:04:17] sale right now.

[1:04:20] So if they're not already sold out, you've got to get on it, because that's

[1:04:23] a really good...

[1:04:24] That's a great lineup.

[1:04:25] That's a great lineup.

[1:04:26] There's regular tickets.

[1:04:27] There's VIP tickets, which, at the very least, give you guaranteed seating.

[1:04:32] Guaranteed sex with any of the hosts, if they're named Dan.

[1:04:36] Guaranteed sex with any of the hosts sounds like a really bad Showtime series.

[1:04:42] So that's what date is it?

[1:04:43] February 11th?

[1:04:45] February 11th in Chicago.

[1:04:47] 2017.

[1:04:48] If you live in Chicago or the Chicagoland area, watch out for that.

[1:04:53] I'll put up a link on the website to where you can buy tickets.

[1:04:56] If I forget to do that, just go to MaximumFun.org.

[1:04:59] I think we're...

[1:04:59] Are we doing a riff show, or are we doing a live?

[1:05:02] We're doing a riff show.

[1:05:03] Riff, one of our rare riff shows.

[1:05:05] So we're going to be screening a movie.

[1:05:06] We're going to be making jokes, and it will not be recorded for posterity.

[1:05:10] No.

[1:05:11] It's one of those, like, things that millennials love, where you're, like,

[1:05:14] paying for the, like, experience as opposed to a product or an object.

[1:05:19] I mean, it's called theater, I guess.

[1:05:20] I don't know what it's called.

[1:05:22] Like, most things?

[1:05:23] Yeah, like that.

[1:05:24] Most things.

[1:05:25] Like, every human experience before 100 years ago, I guess?

[1:05:29] But, yeah, it should be a lot of fun.

[1:05:30] We're going to be blowing a lot of laughs in the Windy City.

[1:05:33] And there's nothing more pleasant than Chicago in February.

[1:05:37] I kind of like Chicago winters, because they really test you.

[1:05:42] I mean, I...

[1:05:43] All right.

[1:05:43] I mean, I...

[1:05:44] Also, famed comedian Chicago winters.

[1:05:46] I feel like...

[1:05:48] I mean, I come from Illinois, so I know that, like, there's this very special...

[1:05:51] Come from the land of the ice and snow, Illinois.

[1:05:55] I know that there's a very special kind of frigid that the center of the country achieves.

[1:06:01] But also, here in New York, we have some pretty miserable winters, and I have enough...

[1:06:06] I've had enough suffering through winters to...

[1:06:10] It's no longer a novel thing for me.

[1:06:11] Pull an Arthur C. Clarke and move to wherever he lived.

[1:06:13] Bangladesh or Sri Lanka or something?

[1:06:16] Yeah.

[1:06:16] Sounds good.

[1:06:17] You can write a bunch of books about robots and enjoy wearing a fucking sarong all the time.

[1:06:24] All of this sounds great to me.

[1:06:25] Put an ice bucket on your head like Dr. Moreau.

[1:06:28] All of this sounds great.

[1:06:29] I'm in a warm climate.

[1:06:31] I'm writing about robots, which is fun.

[1:06:33] I'm wearing loose-fitting, comfortable clothes.

[1:06:37] Yeah, yeah.

[1:06:38] And go sit on a piano and have your little version of you playing a smaller piano on top of it.

[1:06:43] No man can judge you, nor beast.

[1:06:47] You're the giver of the law, not the reader of the law.

[1:06:53] But yeah, that would be a fun trip.

[1:06:54] So, very, very fun day.

[1:06:55] We're all looking forward to it.

[1:06:56] Yeah, it'll be nice.

[1:06:59] So, but we do have some sponsors for the show.

[1:07:04] Slop House.

[1:07:05] Sponsor time.

[1:07:07] Thanks for that jingle.

[1:07:10] The Slop House is sponsored in part by Zip Recruiter.

[1:07:16] Are you hiring?

[1:07:17] Yes.

[1:07:19] Ask Dan seriously.

[1:07:22] Can you help me?

[1:07:22] Yes.

[1:07:23] Do you know where to post your job to find the best candidates?

[1:07:28] No, that's what you're here for.

[1:07:31] You can't find the quality candidates by just posting your job in one place.

[1:07:35] That would be absurd.

[1:07:36] That's true.

[1:07:36] We've had a terrible luck with using one specific place.

[1:07:40] Well, we're mostly writing it on the walls of one urinal.

[1:07:43] Newborn urinals don't really have walls.

[1:07:45] You wrote it on the back of those, Dan Stevens will play your guitar,

[1:07:50] or whatever it is.

[1:07:51] Dan Stevens will play your guitar.

[1:07:53] The guy from Dynatomy will play your guitar.

[1:07:57] Yeah, because it's, we'll teach you guitar.

[1:07:58] We'll teach you guitar.

[1:07:59] So is it Dan Stevens before he got the chin implant,

[1:08:02] or after he got the chin implant?

[1:08:05] After.

[1:08:05] OK.

[1:08:06] Yeah, I'll look at his back and see the thing I wrote on it.

[1:08:12] Now that he's got a chin implant, he puts it under his chin like a violin.

[1:08:15] That's how he plays the guitar.

[1:08:17] I feel like we might be off the topic of ZipRecruiter.

[1:08:21] The point is, you can't just post your job in one place.

[1:08:25] If you want to find the perfect hire, you need to post your job

[1:08:27] on all of the top job sites.

[1:08:29] And with ZipRecruiter, you can.

[1:08:31] With ZipRecruiter.com, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites,

[1:08:36] including social media networks like Facebook and Twitter,

[1:08:40] all with a single click.

[1:08:43] So right now, our listeners can post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free

[1:08:48] by going to ZipRecruiter.com slash first.

[1:08:53] That's ZipRecruiter.com slash first.

[1:08:56] One more time, to try it for free, go to ZipRecruiter.com slash first.

[1:09:03] Yep, because we're the first house.

[1:09:04] Now, as a small business owner, I can attest

[1:09:08] that using various internet sites to post jobs can be a real pain in the ass.

[1:09:15] And as somebody who works mainly in the service industry

[1:09:20] and not on the tech, in the tech field, things

[1:09:26] definitely don't work in the tech more, not anymore.

[1:09:28] That was a different Stewart.

[1:09:29] That was a lifetime ago.

[1:09:31] But a lot of that shit is confusing for me.

[1:09:37] And the sites that I used to post on, those aren't the ones that people use anymore.

[1:09:43] Like Fear.com, Dee Snider's Strangeland.

[1:09:47] Yep, when I post on those, I usually get like 404 errors and stuff.

[1:09:57] You get a lot of jigsaws applying.

[1:09:59] Yeah, yeah, I get them.

[1:10:00] I get responses with links to geocities.

[1:10:03] Geocities.

[1:10:04] Or is it geocities?

[1:10:05] I can't, I don't know.

[1:10:06] I said it was geocities, but I don't know that

[1:10:08] no one ever officially introduced me.

[1:10:12] The geocity ratings are off the chart.

[1:10:14] Oh no, man, turn the lights off.

[1:10:16] Uh.

[1:10:20] Somebody call the parents and tell them not to come home.

[1:10:25] So yeah, use ZipRecruiter.

[1:10:27] Why not?

[1:10:28] Uh, why not?

[1:10:31] Why not indeed, a powerful endorsement.

[1:10:34] Second, uh, second flop there tonight.

[1:10:38] The flop house is supported in part by Squarespace.

[1:10:43] Squarespace.

[1:10:44] Whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery,

[1:10:47] a professional blog, or an online store,

[1:10:50] it's all included with your Squarespace website.

[1:10:53] Dan, may I have a question?

[1:10:55] Yeah.

[1:10:56] No!

[1:10:58] I have a website I'm trying to get off the ground.

[1:11:00] Okay.

[1:11:01] And I want to know if Squarespace would be able to help me.

[1:11:03] Okay.

[1:11:04] My answer's probably yes, but go on.

[1:11:06] Now, it's called keepitmoldy.com.

[1:11:08] And it's to help you keep things moldy.

[1:11:11] Your basement, maybe your clothes,

[1:11:13] if you don't dry them properly.

[1:11:15] For a second I was really concerned that it was

[1:11:17] keep um oldie, and I'm like,

[1:11:20] I already got that fuckin' website.

[1:11:23] So I'm glad that you changed it up.

[1:11:24] No, it's keepitmoldy.com.

[1:11:26] Now, here's my pitch.

[1:11:28] We all love mold.

[1:11:29] Who doesn't?

[1:11:29] It's soft, it smells good.

[1:11:31] It makes cheeses.

[1:11:32] It's full of nutrition, makes cheese right there

[1:11:34] wherever you want it to.

[1:11:36] But, sometimes it's hard to keep it moldy, you know?

[1:11:39] We're all just trying to keep it moldy in this world.

[1:11:40] And this, today, it's harder than ever in America

[1:11:43] to keep it moldy.

[1:11:44] So, my site is kinda like tips,

[1:11:47] different ideas about things you can do with mold.

[1:11:49] I mean, are most of the tips just make it damp?

[1:11:53] So you've seen the site.

[1:11:55] I mean, I'm familiar with your work.

[1:11:56] So I wanna host it, and I want people to be able

[1:11:58] to look at it on their phone, on their iPad,

[1:12:00] on their laptop, wherever they need to keep something moldy.

[1:12:02] Maybe they're in a basement,

[1:12:03] they don't wanna carry a laptop with them.

[1:12:05] Just look on their phone, you know?

[1:12:06] Is there a section called Dank Tips?

[1:12:09] Where, on how to keep, tips on how to keep things

[1:12:11] nice and dank and damp?

[1:12:14] Yes.

[1:12:15] In those.

[1:12:16] There is a section called that.

[1:12:17] Did you look at my proposal?

[1:12:19] Or, is there a leak?

[1:12:21] Is there corporate sabotage at work here?

[1:12:25] Because here at Mold Co.,

[1:12:25] we take our corporate secrets very seriously.

[1:12:27] Well, you know, this sort of a...

[1:12:33] How can LA take advantage of Squarespace?

[1:12:35] Yeah, for keepitmoldy.com.

[1:12:38] It's easy.

[1:12:39] You can create your website with Squarespace.

[1:12:41] With a simple, intuitive process,

[1:12:43] you can add and arrange your content and features

[1:12:45] with the click of a mouse.

[1:12:47] Squarespace makes it easy to add a domain to your site.

[1:12:50] Keepitmoldy.com.

[1:12:51] If you sign up for a year,

[1:12:52] you'll receive a custom domain for free.

[1:12:55] So, .com, not biz or org?

[1:12:57] I mean, I want...

[1:12:58] The .com is really where it's at.

[1:12:59] Yeah.

[1:13:00] You're already off most people's radar

[1:13:01] if you have the other ones.

[1:13:02] Maybe, like, keepitmoldy.xxx,

[1:13:04] but that's a different type of site.

[1:13:05] Yeah, if you get the link to, like, .biz,

[1:13:07] you're like, fuck.

[1:13:08] You're like, is this even real?

[1:13:10] .pizza, is that real?

[1:13:11] Yeah, if I click on that...

[1:13:13] Am I gonna have to eat a whole pizza?

[1:13:16] I think...

[1:13:17] Is that what I'm signing myself up for?

[1:13:18] For my money back?

[1:13:19] There is a .pizza, right?

[1:13:22] Eat a whole pizza for your money back.

[1:13:24] We gotta change the promotion.

[1:13:26] People are just leaving a little bit of pizza over,

[1:13:29] and we gotta give them the money back.

[1:13:35] It's not important.

[1:13:36] Are you laughing because you've never heard

[1:13:37] somebody do an Italian accent

[1:13:38] and say he's talking about pizza before?

[1:13:41] I'm just like, why is he talking all funny?

[1:13:44] Wait a minute, I guess Italian people do make pizzas.

[1:13:47] Is that how elves sound?

[1:13:49] Mm-hmm.

[1:13:50] Among other things,

[1:13:51] there's great customer support with Squarespace.

[1:13:54] 24-7 customer support, in fact.

[1:13:57] Every member of the customer care team

[1:13:59] is an experienced Squarespace user

[1:14:00] working in a Squarespace office.

[1:14:03] Look, I don't need to sell this to you anymore.

[1:14:05] The point is, start your free child today at Squarespace.

[1:14:08] Start your free child today?

[1:14:10] Start your free child today.

[1:14:12] All I have to do is get someone pregnant.

[1:14:13] It's totally free.

[1:14:15] There are many costs involved.

[1:14:17] Well, afterwards, but the pregnancy,

[1:14:19] the conception is free.

[1:14:21] I guess so, yeah, okay, good point.

[1:14:24] You're right, if it cost a lot.

[1:14:25] Start your free child today.

[1:14:26] Adam and Eve would be like, how do we pay for this?

[1:14:28] Money hasn't been invented yet.

[1:14:30] Can we trade apples?

[1:14:31] Snake scales?

[1:14:32] I only have a certain number of ribs.

[1:14:34] If I keep ripping them out,

[1:14:36] you'll be like a real Marilyn Manson.

[1:14:41] Continue, Dan.

[1:14:42] Start your free trial today

[1:14:45] at Squarespace, Squarespace, Squarespace.com.

[1:14:49] Squarespace.

[1:14:51] Slash flop to get 10% off your first purchase.

[1:14:54] That's Squarespace.com slash flop

[1:14:57] to get 10% off your first purchase.

[1:15:00] And that's keepitmoldy.com to keep it moldy.

[1:15:02] We're doing a good job keeping these ads pretty tight, guys.

[1:15:06] Tight and bright.

[1:15:07] The briefest of ads.

[1:15:08] Do we have any Jumbotron things, Dan?

[1:15:10] J-J-J-Jumbo.

[1:15:12] You know the answer to that.

[1:15:13] You have it right in front of your face.

[1:15:14] It's called trying to be natural with a segue, Dan.

[1:15:16] So that to give the illusion

[1:15:17] you still have control over this sinking ship.

[1:15:19] LA's trying to set me up, classic T-Ball style,

[1:15:22] and I'm gonna wind up with the baseball bat like Casey

[1:15:26] and slug a home run.

[1:15:27] No, Casey struck out.

[1:15:29] No, Casey lost.

[1:15:30] Gonna knock it into next week like old Casey.

[1:15:33] No, Casey lost.

[1:15:35] Then he started out on a train

[1:15:36] and turned into a ghost or something.

[1:15:39] So this message is for Drew, last name withheld.

[1:15:42] Barrymore.

[1:15:43] And the message is from David, last name withheld.

[1:15:47] Boreanus.

[1:15:48] Oh, wow.

[1:15:50] They're an item?

[1:15:51] Okay.

[1:15:52] Or just friends.

[1:15:52] Here's our message.

[1:15:54] Congrats on the new kid.

[1:15:56] Now you have three, which is great because three rocks.

[1:16:00] Triangles, primary colors, Martian prostitute boobs

[1:16:05] from the movie Total Recall.

[1:16:07] Story checks out.

[1:16:08] The Holy Trinity.

[1:16:10] Three is central to them all.

[1:16:13] Not to mention, it's the number of original peaches

[1:16:16] on the world's most important podcast.

[1:16:19] Is this Jumbotron promoting us, I guess?

[1:16:22] Yeah.

[1:16:23] Well, it's promoting this new kid.

[1:16:26] Anyway, anyhow, anywho, may the Lord bless and protect you

[1:16:30] and may Neil Breen someday portray you in a film,

[1:16:35] which is, I think, the highest honor somebody can hope

[1:16:38] for somebody else to receive.

[1:16:39] We have another similar Jumbotron message.

[1:16:42] Theme night.

[1:16:44] This is a message for Nathan, Carly, and Baby Milo.

[1:16:47] I think it's pronounced Carly.

[1:16:50] This message is from Mark and Trace, last name withheld,

[1:16:52] and it goes like this.

[1:16:53] Trace Blue.

[1:16:55] A huge congratulations.

[1:16:57] I assume it has to be Trace Blue.

[1:16:58] A huge congratulations to you guys

[1:17:00] on bringing your new baby into the world.

[1:17:02] I'm hoping that getting the floppers to say,

[1:17:04] way to go, guys.

[1:17:05] Way to go, guys.

[1:17:08] Is a better gift than baby clothes and diapers.

[1:17:10] If not, I'm sure they'll honor a refund.

[1:17:13] Love you guys.

[1:17:14] And I wanna say congratulations to all these people

[1:17:16] on bringing these new lives into the world

[1:17:18] because what's most important in this life?

[1:17:20] Family.

[1:17:22] Truly.

[1:17:22] If this movie, if truly family matters.

[1:17:23] Independence Day resurgent taught us anything.

[1:17:26] It's that everybody's somebody's kid.

[1:17:27] Yep.

[1:17:28] Even if they're not in the movie

[1:17:29] and we're just in the first one.

[1:17:30] So congratulations to you.

[1:17:31] And you're nobody until somebody loves you.

[1:17:32] Thank you, David.

[1:17:33] And before we get into letters and whatnot,

[1:17:36] I just wanna shout out that today,

[1:17:39] the day that this episode is coming out

[1:17:41] is Saturday, November 12th.

[1:17:44] Is that right?

[1:17:45] Does that check out?

[1:17:46] Yes.

[1:17:47] And I just wanna say a special shout out

[1:17:50] to my buddy, Alex Smith, who is a guest on this show.

[1:17:53] And he's my co-host on the super popular podcast,

[1:17:57] Till Deaf Do Us Pupupu Party,

[1:18:00] An Exploration of Deaf Leopard Through the Ages.

[1:18:02] It is by far the best deaf leopard podcast

[1:18:05] with the dumbest name.

[1:18:06] With the worst name.

[1:18:07] The hardest to search name.

[1:18:09] That's our podcast.

[1:18:09] Because it's not spelled like those words are spelled.

[1:18:13] And I just want, the day this episode comes out,

[1:18:16] he's going to be getting married to a girl

[1:18:19] that is way better than him,

[1:18:21] so he should feel bad about that.

[1:18:23] And I just wanna say, if you get a chance

[1:18:26] to say congratulations to him,

[1:18:28] you totally should, because he's an awesome guy.

[1:18:32] Oh.

[1:18:32] I'll take that as a no.

[1:18:33] Congratulations.

[1:18:34] Congratulations.

[1:18:35] Yeah, that's what I, it was a call to action, dude.

[1:18:36] No, we failed.

[1:18:39] See, that's what I'm.

[1:18:40] I congratulated him on a little episode

[1:18:42] of Till Deaf Do Us Party.

[1:18:44] Slepisode.

[1:18:48] I'm not sure whether it'll be out or not

[1:18:49] by the time this.

[1:18:50] Who knows?

[1:18:51] But I guessed it on an episode.

[1:18:53] Oh, wow.

[1:18:55] You just gave everybody a little bit

[1:18:56] of a peek behind the curtain of a different podcast.

[1:19:00] And that's what our podcast needs more.

[1:19:02] It needs more, it needs more audience engagement

[1:19:06] opportunities.

[1:19:07] Sure, well, they could always go

[1:19:08] and download Presidents for People 2,

[1:19:10] my series for Audible.

[1:19:11] Do you have a hashtag for that?

[1:19:13] Uh, hashtag Presidents for People 2?

[1:19:15] Oh, okay, I guess I have.

[1:19:16] Hashtag P-A-P-T?

[1:19:19] You just did that, I couldn't do that.

[1:19:22] Hey, in my line of work.

[1:19:24] What's that, five words turning them into just letters?

[1:19:26] Just four words.

[1:19:31] But yes, that's almost five.

[1:19:32] Making an acronym out of four words is pretty,

[1:19:35] like, I don't know.

[1:19:36] I've had a couple of beers, it's late at night,

[1:19:38] I'm impressed.

[1:19:39] Thank you, I appreciate that.

[1:19:40] So, Dan, what's the next part of this podcast?

[1:19:43] Oh, I'm sorry, I was taking a yawning break.

[1:19:44] The next part of this podcast is letters from listeners.

[1:19:54] Listeners like you, perhaps.

[1:19:57] Did you write a letter?

[1:19:58] If you did, maybe.

[1:20:00] Not, probably not. That's the way letters work. Anyway.

[1:20:04] It's time for the letters.

[1:20:07] Every now and then a letter arrives that you never thought would come.

[1:20:12] Maybe you thought it'd be impossible for this letter to get to you.

[1:20:18] It's not a good letter. It's not a letter that you want to read.

[1:20:22] And you know it's gonna cause trouble for you.

[1:20:25] Trouble for others. Trouble for a lot of things.

[1:20:28] It's a letter that might make you sad. It might make you mad.

[1:20:32] It might make you feel bad. And then you look at the people you love.

[1:20:38] You look at the world and you realize this is just one of those letters.

[1:20:43] And you'll see plenty of letters. There's gonna be so many letters.

[1:20:49] So many letters. So many letters.

[1:20:52] Someday you'll look at this letter. It'll make you shiver.

[1:20:57] To remember this letter. To remember the day that you read it.

[1:21:01] But you'll be glad that it's gone now.

[1:21:05] And there have been so many letters since then.

[1:21:07] That this letter can't hurt you at all anymore.

[1:21:13] So remember in the early days when Ellie was doing them letter songs

[1:21:16] and he rhymed letter with a lot of other words.

[1:21:18] And now he just rhymes it with letter.

[1:21:20] Reverse. Just reverse now.

[1:21:23] Uh, I also like the way when Dan set him up.

[1:21:26] Ellie just kind of shrugged his shoulders.

[1:21:28] He's like, fuck it. I guess I'll sing a song today.

[1:21:32] I never expected. I never expected that.

[1:21:34] I mean, I know that sometimes it's just...

[1:21:35] Sometimes I just don't feel it. That one was a metaphor.

[1:21:37] So it's weird. Dan right now is checking Pornhub.

[1:21:41] No, I got a...

[1:21:42] Well, Lisa Ann's still the number one rated star.

[1:21:44] Yep. Okay. So I guess my work is done. Gotta go.

[1:21:47] Research project over.

[1:21:50] I got an email.

[1:21:50] Wow. Number one rated. Wow.

[1:21:52] She's put in the time, I guess.

[1:21:53] And run by J.D. Power and Associates.

[1:21:58] J.D. Pornstar and Associates gives Lisa Ann their top rating

[1:22:01] for the third year in a row.

[1:22:03] Wow.

[1:22:03] In fuel efficiency and overall control.

[1:22:10] Oh, actually, wait, wait.

[1:22:12] Reading this now again.

[1:22:13] It seems there's a problem with the breaks on Lisa Ann.

[1:22:16] We're going to have to recall that.

[1:22:18] Oh, boy, this is terrible.

[1:22:19] J.D. Power and Associates are pulling their awards.

[1:22:22] She got a lot of mileage out of that Sarah Palin impression she did.

[1:22:27] Very much so, yeah.

[1:22:28] She did not.

[1:22:31] She did not look that much like Sarah Palin.

[1:22:33] You know what, Dan?

[1:22:34] Wow.

[1:22:34] I am amazed that you are taking umbrage at the accuracy of this porno.

[1:22:43] Was she ever a Liz Lemon in a 30 Rock parody skit?

[1:22:47] Probably.

[1:22:47] It would have been called 30 Cock.

[1:22:49] And probably.

[1:22:50] Not Dirty Cock?

[1:22:51] No, actually, probably been called like 30 Rock XXX a porn parody or something.

[1:22:56] Because they ran out of imagination.

[1:22:58] Because the world of porn is without imagination these days.

[1:23:01] You don't want to read it and be like, 30 Cock, not interesting.

[1:23:04] I only want to watch porn.

[1:23:05] That's too many for me.

[1:23:08] Yeah, without the X, like the triple X, you're like, I don't know if this is for me.

[1:23:12] 30 chickens in a room.

[1:23:14] No, thank you.

[1:23:15] They're going to just peck each other.

[1:23:17] No, I got an email from my meditation app saying,

[1:23:21] the post-election meditation we all need for healing and unity.

[1:23:26] So that's why you stopped doing the segment that we were about to do?

[1:23:30] Yeah.

[1:23:31] I can take a session about compassion meditation to remind us of our common humanity,

[1:23:36] our shared hopes, and how to press onward together.

[1:23:39] Is this some kind of, wait, is this some kind of stealth ad?

[1:23:42] Are you doing a stealth spinoff?

[1:23:43] Like when Mork appeared on Happy Days?

[1:23:46] Ellie and I lay our souls bare to do this stupid-ass porn star bit.

[1:23:53] And you're reading an email.

[1:23:55] Do I want people knowing that I have this much knowledge about how porn works?

[1:23:58] No, of course not.

[1:23:59] I'm the one who objected to the accuracy of the pornography.

[1:24:02] I think I'm implicated as much as anyone.

[1:24:04] I got to say, I'm impressed that you can both read an email from your meditation app

[1:24:08] and complain about various porn stars' lookalike abilities.

[1:24:12] Makes me think the meditation app is not working.

[1:24:15] If it's not able to clear your mind enough for you to lose this how old?

[1:24:20] Four-year-old grudge against a porno?

[1:24:23] Against, no, more than four years.

[1:24:24] This eight-year grudge against the accuracy of a porn?

[1:24:28] Not a chameleon, says Dan McCoy.

[1:24:31] De Niro in Raging Bull?

[1:24:33] I don't think so.

[1:24:35] Lisa Ann fails to disappear into the character of Sarah Palin.

[1:24:43] No Meryl Streep, says Dan McCoy in the Porn Thespian Review Quarterly.

[1:24:55] Whatever happened to the days?

[1:24:57] Now that we've used up all of our goodwill, let's do the segment Elliot sang a song about.

[1:25:03] What, like an hour ago?

[1:25:06] The letters are here.

[1:25:07] What the fuck?

[1:25:09] I'm so glad I wasn't drinking or I would have been a spit take on Dan's computer.

[1:25:16] And then he would have banned me from being in his apartment.

[1:25:19] This is, uh...

[1:25:21] Charles Band.

[1:25:22] This is from David, last name withheld.

[1:25:24] Oh, my brother, probably.

[1:25:27] This, uh...

[1:25:29] I'll just read the letter and then I'll say something about it afterwards.

[1:25:32] Okay, is this the kind of letter that I shouldn't interrupt because there's something sad in it?

[1:25:36] No, no, no, no.

[1:25:37] Okay.

[1:25:39] Hello, Peaches.

[1:25:40] That happens sometimes and I feel bad afterwards.

[1:25:43] Hello, Peaches.

[1:25:44] I want to thank you for helping me through a difficult time.

[1:25:47] As a TV news journalist, I have spent the last year fretting over the 2016 election.

[1:25:53] But the past four weeks up through election night were particularly brutal.

[1:25:57] Anxiety was at an all-time high.

[1:25:59] And one way I coped was by listening to your back catalog non-stop.

[1:26:04] No matter how bad things got, hearing you always made me feel better

[1:26:08] and helped take my mind off things.

[1:26:10] And I don't know how I would have made it without you.

[1:26:14] While I'm here, I have a kaiju-related question for Elliot.

[1:26:16] How much screen time should monsters get in a kaiju film?

[1:26:19] A common complaint about Godzilla movies is how much time the film

[1:26:22] dedicates to human characters rather than the titular monster.

[1:26:25] Is there a solution to this?

[1:26:26] How much monster screen time is too much or too little?

[1:26:29] Thanks again, David, last name withheld.

[1:26:31] Now, Elliot sort of spoiled this earlier in the podcast,

[1:26:35] not knowing that there would be a letter about this.

[1:26:37] But we got a lot of messages from people saying...

[1:26:40] Oh, yeah.

[1:26:40] My heartfelt thanks spoiled this letter.

[1:26:43] Sorry, Dan.

[1:26:43] Again, tell me these things ahead of time.

[1:26:47] We got a lot of...

[1:26:47] It's a little bit like if you took me to a murder mystery dinner theater,

[1:26:52] but I didn't know it was dinner theater.

[1:26:54] And so I see someone with blood on their hands.

[1:26:56] I'm like, that guy's a murderer.

[1:26:57] And you're like, Elliot, this is just for fun.

[1:27:01] I meant in the spoiler sense, not that you've ruined anything.

[1:27:05] Oh, OK.

[1:27:06] Thank you.

[1:27:08] That was sweet.

[1:27:09] A sweet moment.

[1:27:10] Elliot touched my arm.

[1:27:11] Just to be like, hey, we're cool, right?

[1:27:13] Yeah.

[1:27:13] OK.

[1:27:13] I love you.

[1:27:14] So I missed most of that letter.

[1:27:16] The point is, wait, hold on.

[1:27:18] Let me just say that...

[1:27:19] No, we got a lot of great messages, both via email.

[1:27:24] This is just one representative one.

[1:27:25] And on the Facebook group saying thanks for helping us distract them

[1:27:31] from the misery of president, sex criminal and related election stress,

[1:27:40] no matter what side you're on.

[1:27:42] This was it.

[1:27:43] So it was very nice to hear these sort of things.

[1:27:45] This was a very particularly stressful election campaign,

[1:27:48] and it will continue to be stressful.

[1:27:49] And the world is in a stressful place right now.

[1:27:52] And not to say this is the kind of thing that I feel like

[1:27:55] celebrities say and it comes off really fakie.

[1:27:58] But I don't mean it that way.

[1:27:59] Like, I find it genuinely humbling that people can take this kind of solace in our nonsense

[1:28:08] and that we can help people in that way.

[1:28:10] And it's not in any way our intention, just speaking for myself.

[1:28:15] Our intention is just to ourselves get together and

[1:28:19] kill a couple hours talking about Independence Day resurgence.

[1:28:22] I mean, I think it was the main reason we still do it.

[1:28:25] But it is that we do it for the old moolah.

[1:28:31] But it's like, I mean, for us, we use this as an opportunity to blow off steam

[1:28:35] and a way to, like, find some kind of connection with a human element with each other.

[1:28:42] This is in the sense that we're all naked and rubbing each other's knees constantly.

[1:28:47] I mean, you've got that weenus cage still on.

[1:28:49] So there's a limit to how much we can rub.

[1:28:51] Like, this is the only regular friend hanging out time I know I can rely on.

[1:29:00] And it's very important to me for that reason, very meaningful to me.

[1:29:04] And if it touches other people in a way that helps them,

[1:29:08] then I'm very touched by that.

[1:29:09] And I'm very thankful for it.

[1:29:12] Cha-ching.

[1:29:14] Had to erase the sentiment somehow.

[1:29:16] I'm really glad that we have an L8 around so he can say things that sound genuine,

[1:29:20] as opposed to me, where I always sound sarcastic.

[1:29:23] Oh, you sound very genuine.

[1:29:25] Or Dan, who just says cha-ching and I don't know, other stuff.

[1:29:29] Here's the thing.

[1:29:30] That's what I do, I say other stuff.

[1:29:32] You say et cetera.

[1:29:35] Here's how you learn.

[1:29:36] Well, Dan, you don't sound quite as...

[1:29:38] You and I, we have a natural cadence to our voices, which sound, I don't know, sarcastic or...

[1:29:45] Like, you sound smug and self-satisfied all the time.

[1:29:48] Like, you're popping your collar every time you talk.

[1:29:52] Yeah, because you just pulled up in that Testarossa your dad bought you for your 17th birthday

[1:29:57] and laughing at us.

[1:30:00] Off-collar popped hot babes all over you. Mm-hmm

[1:30:04] Ponytail certainly the thing

[1:30:07] 90s car phone within a convertible. Yeah, not sort of a monotonal depressive sound

[1:30:14] Oh, not at all. Now. Here's here's how you learn how to do the Ellie Kalen emotional honesty and openness talking thing

[1:30:20] Yeah, yeah is you spend a few years doing a basement comedy show in which you have no prepared material

[1:30:28] And you will instead just talk about what's going on in your life for anywhere from one to two and a half hours at a time

[1:30:34] As people fall asleep in front of you because it's midnight

[1:30:38] And then over time you just feel comfortable talking in front of anybody about everything

[1:30:43] Yeah, it's like George Burns said the most important thing is sincerity once you can fake that you got it made classic Burnsy

[1:30:51] Anything you want to say about kaiju films? Oh, yeah kaiju films

[1:30:54] It's a good question because you always want to have less monster than you want

[1:30:58] Too much monster and the monster loses misty and the thing about the people is that they also kind of

[1:31:03] Help set the scale of the monster. Yes very much

[1:31:06] So not and not only in just that like they're running away and we can see they're much smaller

[1:31:09] but that by a monster attacking a city can be too

[1:31:15] Goofy or abstract you need some kind of life to ground it against. Mm-hmm

[1:31:20] And it's one of the

[1:31:21] Successes of the new Godzilla movie that just came out recently that even though the characters are fairly boilerplate

[1:31:28] The world they're inhabiting is so realistically bureaucratic that when a giant monster comes into it

[1:31:35] It's genuinely terrifying because it's this is a world that should not accommodate both

[1:31:41] Government incompetence and bureaucratic red tape and a giant monster that can shoot laser beams out of its mouth

[1:31:46] Something that will take advantage of that red tape. Mm-hmm, or it's like it's like one of the things I loved about Pacific Rim was the

[1:31:54] During an attack in Japan where everybody was down in it like it showed

[1:32:01] civilians in a bunker

[1:32:03] underneath the city

[1:32:04] Inner cut with shots of giant monster and robot fighting

[1:32:08] yeah, just to give you a sense of like the fear of having to endure some kind of like a

[1:32:15] Devastation on that there are people at stake and they have a real emotional response

[1:32:18] But in terms of like seeing the monster too little is worse than too much

[1:32:23] But too much can sometimes be no good and it's not a kaiju movie

[1:32:26] But the movie that does this the most perfectly is alien

[1:32:30] Alien gives you the exact right amount of the xenomorph so that you get a sense of what it looks like

[1:32:36] But every time it shows up, it's super scary. They never give you enough time to get used to its design

[1:32:40] Should have had eyes. No, it's better without eyes. No, it's you that big old

[1:32:46] Just popping out like Tex Avery Wolfe's or like just wiggling around every time

[1:32:51] Like what's it looking at?

[1:32:53] Who knows as amazing as aliens is it's not scary because they you know

[1:32:57] What the aliens are and their enemy soldiers at that point, you know, or it's more like the gorillas

[1:33:02] Are you saying aliens isn't scary?

[1:33:05] Looking at his little fucking radar thing and he's like, but they're in the room

[1:33:09] Yeah that but you're not seeing them at that moment. And what about new? She's scary as hell, dude. She's a little crazy girl

[1:33:17] Aliens is tense. It's nail-biting, but it's not frightening with it. All riser. He's so corrupt

[1:33:23] Yeah, my parents rise

[1:33:26] Everything is the way a man's soul can be corrupted

[1:33:29] He was willing to sacrifice his fellow human beings for money to this day

[1:33:33] My mom says that she and my dad hate Paul Reiser and can't watch mad about you because of Paul Reiser's performance

[1:33:41] I can't watch mad about you, but that's for other reasons. Mm-hmm. Does he and Helen Hunt had that falling out?

[1:33:47] That's right. I

[1:33:49] broke her and Hank's area

[1:33:52] So this next one is from large last name withheld on Trier

[1:33:57] Wow, I'm directing movies like Dogville. I often find that I need a

[1:34:02] Relax, have you ever watched a movie with Charlotte Gainsbourg?

[1:34:10] Hey, hey floppers, they said just a quick step after listening to episode 101 remind me

[1:34:17] Which one it was I looked up al Madrigal's lies and illusions on the IMDb

[1:34:21] It appears that the film was in fact such a cash grab that the poster for the film on IMDb includes the words

[1:34:29] quote

[1:34:31] Descriptive tagline can go here at the bottom

[1:34:35] See the attached image for reference

[1:34:37] Thanks for being the best podcast that exists and keep on blocking now. I have the image here

[1:34:42] So you can see yeah right there right under the title descriptive taglines over here. I hope that's totally real. That's hilarious

[1:34:51] Not much to say about that, it's just funny. Yeah

[1:34:56] Even moving

[1:34:59] This is from grace last name withheld land. Mm-hmm 30 million miles

[1:35:06] Yeah, it's the Ray Harryhausen Elvis film 30 million miles to grace land

[1:35:13] Go through a stargate grace writes dear Archie. You're a good cat. I love you

[1:35:19] I know in the hierarchy of cats in the flop house most might put you a woeful second

[1:35:23] But to me, you're the cat star the best saying he's the top cat such a good cat

[1:35:28] When recommending the flop house to friends co-workers and people on the street, I'm almost always in counter with another bad movie podcast

[1:35:36] Instead of waxing poetic of the many pros and few cons of the flop house

[1:35:39] I just respond with a yeah, but sometimes there's a cat in the room when they record

[1:35:44] Haven't hooked any new fans with that yet. Yes good kitty Archie such a good kitty

[1:35:50] Thanks for keeping Dan company and for being such a good cat

[1:35:53] Sincerely grace last name withheld. I wish you could see Elliot's face as I wrote that letter. I enjoyed it thoroughly

[1:36:00] I'm glad that people that's people's reaction. Most of the time when I

[1:36:05] Explain what my podcast is people say what's a podcast or I listen to Joe Rogan's podcast

[1:36:13] Joe so this episodes brought to you by Joe Rogan podcast the Joe Rogan experiment. What the fuck's it called?

[1:36:19] Joe it around. Okay, Joe time. It's like the number one podcast in the universe, right?

[1:36:24] Fucking aliens use that watch that those two things are what aliens based their perception of our society

[1:36:30] Yeah, that's why when you meet, you know, you meet an alien when he walks up and he goes bazinga friends

[1:36:35] You're like that's not a real word anyone uses and I don't appreciate the assumption that I know what it means

[1:36:40] Then he puts on a fucking Joe Satriani tape, but I'm like, I'm not surfing with you, dude

[1:36:48] Feel like the Joe Rogan experience would be like to get punched for some sort of minor misunderstanding. Yeah

[1:36:59] Your factor that show was super important for a

[1:37:06] Favorite shows of all time. Mm-hmm. Get some a lot of your factor

[1:37:12] Mm-hmm

[1:37:13] last letter

[1:37:15] My favorite peaches favorite peaches and the does it did a villain kidnap us

[1:37:25] Favorite he's stroking our hair

[1:37:27] Maybe our rosy cheeks. Mm-hmm as we as we feed candy in our mouths not knowing that he's about to shovel us into

[1:37:34] I guess his baking oven to make us into pot pie delicious peaches pot pie in the we are your friends episode

[1:37:41] Another dick Tracy villain peaches pot pie

[1:37:44] And yes

[1:37:46] I'm a minor deformity. Why are you being so mean to me? Dick Tracy? You're a crook. I know it

[1:37:52] I believe in the middle medieval assumption that the body reflects the soul

[1:37:56] Wow, while we're talking about things that happened last episode. I want to apologize for

[1:38:02] Clearly Rogue One has Forrest Whitaker in it. Not Charles S. Dutton. I was a you said

[1:38:09] Elliot said Charles isn't Charles S. Dutton in the new movie and I was like, I'm thinking Lee I was like, yeah

[1:38:14] So we both got that one wrong. Yeah, I honestly don't know much about the movie, but I apologize to they don't look alike or sound

[1:38:21] Alike anyone is rock. The other is the last king of Scotland slash ghost dog. Mm-hmm

[1:38:26] Mm-hmm one is in mimic Charles S. Dutton. The other one is not he's in the crying game Forrest Whitaker

[1:38:34] Yes, I all these are correct things

[1:38:37] But to get back to the letter and the we are your friends episode

[1:38:42] Dan referred to a slew of letters discussing how they once thought nothing but trouble was a fever dream

[1:38:47] This reminded me of my one and only the actual fever dream which

[1:38:51] Coincidentally occurred during a movie. I was it was almost famous. They were playing the song fever dog by the band still water

[1:38:59] That and the only fever dream I ever had I was so inspired by it

[1:39:03] I wrote nothing but trouble signs Dan last name withheld Aykroyd

[1:39:07] As a freshman in college

[1:39:09] My class was required to attend that required to attend a screening of the Japanese classic woman in the dunes

[1:39:16] Oh, that's on my Tivo right now, and I haven't watched it yet

[1:39:18] I was really sick that day, but it was the only screening so I figured I would tough through it the next week in class

[1:39:26] The next week in class. We had a discussion about the movie

[1:39:29] I mentioned that although I really liked the movie the tonal shift about midway through from creepy suspense film to full-on creature feature

[1:39:37] About a giant spider attacking the characters was confusing

[1:39:40] Apparently my feverish brain decided to show me a different

[1:39:45] Floppers have you ever had a movie experience completely altered for you whether biologically chemically, etc

[1:39:51] Sincerely Andrew last name withheld. I'm gonna tell two stories off of this. Yeah, is that the experience he had sick?

[1:39:57] I've had many times healthy

[1:40:00] I used to go to a lot of movies after work when I worked long hours the Daily Show when I was a single man and

[1:40:05] I'd go to film forum and watch old movies and I would constantly fall asleep

[1:40:09] Near the end of the movie and my brain would continue the movie for about

[1:40:13] Anywhere from five seconds to a minute and I'd jerk awake and the movie would not be what I just thought it was and I'd have

[1:40:19] To readjust like what's going on? How much of that did I just dream it happened to me a lot and I remember doing it

[1:40:25] Especially in during the here her song movie

[1:40:27] I want to live about a man who's driven insane by his fear of the atomic bomb and at the end the movie

[1:40:33] I was just like stay awake

[1:40:34] I'm coming up with too many alternate ways that this movie can go as I fall asleep

[1:40:38] The others I think I've talked about before the first time I ever had a kidney stone

[1:40:42] Was a terrifying experience and I watched from beyond and it really made it like a more meaningful picture to me because as these people's

[1:40:50] bodies were being distorted by another dimension that vibrates at another frequency and I was like

[1:40:55] These guys get it and you you pulled your blanket back and you were wearing like a like a black teddy for some reason

[1:41:02] I had a black SNM outfit on I was covered in goopy Vaseline and then bees took my flesh

[1:41:09] Yeah, I had something like that. I

[1:41:11] when I was in high school, I had a broken arm and I broke an arm out with John Travolta later and it was a

[1:41:21] Close to a

[1:41:26] I'm glad that you made the joke based on my situation and not a movie. I

[1:41:35] And I had a I had a cast up over my elbow and I was in a I was in a car accident because

[1:41:43] This dude in was driving his car down our gravel drive and he was driving real fast. He's like, hey guys

[1:41:49] I'm gonna try and fishtail that did not end well and we totally crashed into a fucking tree and I I slammed up against the

[1:41:59] passenger side seat and because my cast went up over my elbow it

[1:42:04] my elbow couldn't bend so it ended up breaking my humerus and

[1:42:09] We were of course listening to a song by the band Lords of Acid

[1:42:12] So I can't listen to that anymore and we're I dragged my which

[1:42:17] Totally sucks because there's all these situations when I want to listen to the band Lords of Acid I can't do it

[1:42:22] So I dragged myself out of the car and the whole time I'm like, oh my god

[1:42:26] my arm has a new elbow in my fucking middle of my bicep and

[1:42:32] They you know

[1:42:34] Took me and whatever. I broke my arm, but while I was

[1:42:40] convalescing from this illness of a broken second broken

[1:42:45] Yeah injury sure

[1:42:47] my my mom ran a bunch of horror movies for me to watch some tapes and

[1:42:53] She printed the movie body parts for me

[1:42:56] Jeff Fahey, which involves a man who is involved in a horrible car accident and he gets an arm transplant

[1:43:04] Unfortunately that arm is from a serial killer

[1:43:07] And that made it a very weird experience for me

[1:43:11] Did I say that the Akira Kurosawa movie was called I want to live or I live in fear I

[1:43:16] Can't okay if the title is I live in fear

[1:43:18] I may have said I want to live which is the movie about the woman on death row. That's a different movie

[1:43:21] I live in fear

[1:43:24] Dan

[1:43:26] Yeah, I don't know that I have a good story

[1:43:29] Unfortunately, I have like our great story. I have love also as you picked the letter yourself

[1:43:34] No, I thought you set me up for a fall. I thought you guys would show me

[1:43:39] I mean I have had the experience of like being in a meeting and like

[1:43:43] like drifting off to sleep and jerking back the way that you're talking about watching the film forum things and like thinking that something has

[1:43:50] Happened in the meeting that has not happened at all. But I've run some of those meetings where you've done that

[1:43:56] Yeah, what's the movie enemy and was like half drunk and asleep the whole time?

[1:44:00] And I think that was probably the perfect way to watch it. Uh, one thing that bonded my wife and I together was glue

[1:44:08] When we were first going out she was at my apartment once and we both got a stomach bug

[1:44:13] at the same time and it was just like

[1:44:17] all we have the energy to do is watch whatever's on TV and we ended up watching like

[1:44:22] the land before time and clueless and I think another movie just whatever happened to come on television at the time and

[1:44:28] It was like these movies. Paul Rudd has been the same looking since the dawn of time

[1:44:35] I was lucky in Petrie. How do they look the same as in Ant-Man a movie that won't come out for 10 years

[1:44:41] But uh, but it was one of those things where it was like, we're so sick

[1:44:44] These movies are a lot better to us, right?

[1:44:46] I mean clueless is a good movie

[1:44:47] But these movies seem a lot better to us right now because we're sick and it's about people and things that are not sick

[1:44:52] so that was yeah, I remember being super sick with some kind of a some kind of a stomach bug and my

[1:45:00] my wife watched

[1:45:02] Like she she watched the first season of Mad Men

[1:45:04] I'd already seen it but she watched it and it was I had just the weirdest Mad Men related dreams in between

[1:45:11] Sleeping and like shitting my brains out. Mm-hmm

[1:45:14] It's not how your brain should go. No

[1:45:18] So it should stay in the head not go out the butt

[1:45:21] this

[1:45:23] Victor Frankenstein as we learned at the end with his sketch brain goes in head

[1:45:27] this is the

[1:45:29] Final segment of the podcast where we recommend movies that we actually liked

[1:45:34] I'll go first just because

[1:45:36] The movie I'm gonna recommend I liked okay

[1:45:40] Saw it on a plane not a huge

[1:45:43] Recommendation. I saw dr. Strange the latest Marvel little art film. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I

[1:45:49] So if you were writing a review of it, the headline would not be dr. Strange love

[1:45:54] No, would it be mad about Mads a Dan McCoy story? Yes, it would be that. Okay. He was great. Nothing

[1:46:02] He's great in everything. He was you know, he was

[1:46:06] How was chew it?

[1:46:09] No, our room and these

[1:46:11] movies for

[1:46:13] Really good villains. Well, I feel like that's a problem with the Marvel cinematic movie

[1:46:17] That's a major issue that Loki has been the one charismatic villain basically in there

[1:46:22] And otherwise the villain is more an excuse to give the hero something to do

[1:46:25] Yeah, I kind of I kind of liked Lee pace in Guardians of the Galaxy mainly because I felt like a lot of his scenes

[1:46:31] Felt like they were in a different movie. I liked how over-the-top like

[1:46:36] Serious, he was about everything. Yeah, that was really great. And I like to think that he was channeling the anger

[1:46:40] He felt for not getting the part of Star-Lord that he originally auditioned for I believe

[1:46:45] And they're like no you don't get to be the star of the movie

[1:46:47] But you can have this crazy goopy makeup all over your face and just yell at stuff and hold a big hammer

[1:46:53] I know he was great

[1:46:54] But also I mean like that movie

[1:46:55] Allowed the over-the-top seriousness to be funny because it was in contrast to like the goopiness of the rest of the movie

[1:47:01] So like when he then encountered Star-Lord

[1:47:05] the fact that he was

[1:47:07] Dealing with

[1:47:12] So, I've heard dr. Strange is like a super tripped out

[1:47:17] Psychedelic experience man. I would not go that far

[1:47:20] There are a few like you don't do it on weed or you're gonna go permanently loco

[1:47:26] There are a few sequences that are that was the original title for

[1:47:31] About being a heroin addict right permanently loco

[1:47:35] Midnight

[1:47:37] Yeah, I mean it's a movie that uses CGI in a good way which is

[1:47:42] Let's use it to do a thing that you couldn't do

[1:47:46] With practical effects. Let's really like push it to do something interesting and you take it to the limit

[1:47:53] Yeah, like a lawnmower man, where are you?

[1:47:55] Where you CGI to like?

[1:47:58] Trip people out. Yeah money for nothing video where you rate video

[1:48:03] You couldn't just have like people were the let's get right. Oh, no

[1:48:07] You couldn't just show people moving goods in a warehouse doesn't work that we can't do that on film with live-action

[1:48:12] You could do it, but it wouldn't achieve the same like super mechanical

[1:48:17] Robot futuristic effects man. Yeah, all the actors gonna have just a headband playing guitar. What the fuck that's crazy. I

[1:48:26] Think till this win probably is the best

[1:48:29] in the movie

[1:48:30] It's just it's just like an actor or character her her

[1:48:36] Performance in the role of Tilda Swinton the Doctor Strange movie her performance is probably the highlight acting wise

[1:48:45] Aside from Matt's house Benedict Cumberbatch

[1:48:49] Every actor in the movie. Well, he didn't respond to my to intelligible question. So he doesn't know that is he's an actor, dude

[1:48:57] Mordo

[1:48:58] How's Benedict Cumberbatch is accent cuz in the trailer it sounds pretty she's not a so good in the trailer

[1:49:05] No, it's you get used to it over the course of the movie. I'll say that about it. You get used to it

[1:49:15] He's a very charismatic guy, I think that the the movie hampers that charisma a little bit by making all those scenes

[1:49:23] He's hiding in a hamper

[1:49:25] Maybe

[1:49:27] Escaping from alternate dimensions by hiding in a laundry hamper and getting wheeled into the exit. Yeah, I think it's hampered by him

[1:49:39] And heavy and that dude is the heaviest piece of meat on the silver screen

[1:49:46] Fine how Stanley in his cameo that I assume he has I can't remember

[1:49:51] Is he play like a hot dog vendor

[1:49:54] He's selling hot dog system mindless ones

[1:49:58] over in nightmares route

[1:50:00] Yeah, DeMephisto shows up and is like...

[1:50:03] I will say, and it's a pretty standard Marvel movie, it does...

[1:50:07] that the denouement is a little more interesting.

[1:50:12] They find a more interesting way to wrap things up.

[1:50:14] Oh, it's not that there's a portal that something's going to come through

[1:50:17] and they've got to stop it from coming through a portal?

[1:50:18] There is, in fact, a portal that something's going to come through,

[1:50:21] but the way that they deal with that is much better than, like, the usual.

[1:50:25] I like the Marvel movies a lot.

[1:50:27] They punch the portal until it stops being open.

[1:50:29] Or it's like that Johnny Ryan comic where Doctor Strange has sex with a portal

[1:50:33] and he finds that another Doctor Strange is on the other side

[1:50:35] and now they're connected by the penis.

[1:50:38] Anyway.

[1:50:40] I like the Marvel movies.

[1:50:41] I don't like that so many of them end with portals that they have to close.

[1:50:45] What if there were portals of time?

[1:50:47] Then I would love it.

[1:50:48] Not enough time travel.

[1:50:50] That's it.

[1:50:51] So I'm going to do, thanks to Dan going super long on his recommendation...

[1:50:54] With the movie that his recommendation was, quote, OK.

[1:50:57] You guys couldn't let me finish anything.

[1:50:59] He's like, here's a movie I think was so-so an hour later.

[1:51:03] I could not finish a single sentence without you guys breaking in.

[1:51:08] As if you had news of the Kennedy assassination.

[1:51:11] I'm going to do this one in listicle form.

[1:51:13] In another thing.

[1:51:16] I'm going to do a quick recommendation on a movie

[1:51:18] that I probably talked about on the show.

[1:51:21] It's a little werewolf movie called Dog Soldiers.

[1:51:26] Oh, OK.

[1:51:26] Directed by Neil Marshall.

[1:51:28] It's a bit of an action movie, a bit of a horror movie about old werewolves.

[1:51:34] It's about a...

[1:51:35] What if it was a horror movie about old werewolves?

[1:51:37] Like werewolves that are not aging gracefully?

[1:51:40] Yeah, I mean, there's an old werewolf in The Howling.

[1:51:42] That's true, I guess.

[1:51:43] Isn't there a movie called, like, Late Phases that's old werewolves?

[1:51:46] Oh, I don't know that one.

[1:51:46] Very well could be the case if I'm not recommending that movie

[1:51:51] because I haven't seen it, but maybe.

[1:51:53] So Dog Soldiers is a movie about a group of British or Scottish soldiers

[1:52:00] who are kind of a like a ragtag group of dudes who are sent on maneuvers.

[1:52:07] And while on maneuvers, they find themselves under attack from some werewolves.

[1:52:14] And we're the werewolves.

[1:52:18] It's got a pretty great little cast.

[1:52:21] Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd, Liam Cunningham, a bunch of other dudes.

[1:52:27] And it manages to be Neil Marshall, the director and writer,

[1:52:33] has also directed a bunch of the like the big actiony Game of Thrones episodes.

[1:52:37] He's also directed a bunch of movies that I've also recommended on here,

[1:52:40] like The Descent, which is one of the best horror movies of the last 20 years.

[1:52:44] What was his Mad Max 8-time movie?

[1:52:46] Fuck, Doomsday.

[1:52:48] Doomsday.

[1:52:49] And Dog Soldiers was is just like a fun little

[1:52:57] like a bit of a soldier Z movie, like a dirty, doesn't mean like tough soldiers

[1:53:02] talking shit, but then there's also a bunch of werewolves show up

[1:53:06] and the werewolf effects are good.

[1:53:08] There's they're they're pretty practical.

[1:53:11] And yeah, check it out.

[1:53:14] I'm going to quickly recommend two movies

[1:53:17] that are kind of a double shot of depends on how you want to deal with the latest news.

[1:53:21] If you're looking for a movie, and these are both movies I watched before yesterday,

[1:53:25] but they seemed they they thinking about them helped me out a little bit.

[1:53:30] One of them, if you're looking for a movie that if you're unhappy about the situation,

[1:53:33] you're looking for a movie that kind of mirrors that feeling.

[1:53:36] A movie I saw recently was Christoph Kislowski's No End.

[1:53:41] He did the Three Colors trilogy and the Decalogue and Double Life of Veronique.

[1:53:45] This is a slightly earlier movie than that about a very well-respected lawyer

[1:53:51] who defends political prisoners in Poland.

[1:53:55] And this is right after martial law was declared to try to end the Solidarity Union movement.

[1:53:59] He has passed away.

[1:54:00] And that means that this case that he was covering of a striking worker

[1:54:04] who is in jail has been thrown into chaos.

[1:54:06] And his wife, who kind of didn't realize until he was gone

[1:54:10] how much she really loved him and how important he was to her life,

[1:54:13] is dealing with her grief in ways that are not fully safe and that are her way

[1:54:19] in a way of also digesting what's going on in her country and how hard it is

[1:54:25] to understand what's going to happen to everyone there

[1:54:27] and how much freedom they have or don't have anymore.

[1:54:29] It's a super bleak movie.

[1:54:31] It's at times a really beautiful movie.

[1:54:33] It looks great, but it's super bleak.

[1:54:35] So be ready to not feel so good afterwards, but it's a really good movie, No End.

[1:54:40] And the other one is about as popcorn a movie as you get.

[1:54:44] And that's a movie from 1979 called Little Romance with Diane Lane and Laurence Olivier,

[1:54:49] which is literally about an American teenager in Paris who falls in love with a French teenager.

[1:54:54] And the two of them want to run away to Venice so they can kiss under a bridge.

[1:54:57] And it is maybe a little too sugary for some people.

[1:55:01] It's one of those movies where it's not trying too hard to put you in suspense

[1:55:06] and it's not a particularly realistic view of two young people running away.

[1:55:10] But I really enjoyed it a lot.

[1:55:12] And it was just a very like amusing, delightful experience

[1:55:15] that I was happy I sat through and really enjoyed.

[1:55:18] How many killings in that one?

[1:55:20] Zero killings.

[1:55:21] OK, there's a make a movie.

[1:55:24] I mean, there's a stepdad in it who is very much like the dad.

[1:55:29] No. In the world of Henry Orient.

[1:55:32] And there were times I was like, oh, his relationship to Diane Lane is much

[1:55:35] like the relationship between the dad and daughter in the world of Henry Orient.

[1:55:38] But in Lawrence, Olivier is pretty is very charming in it.

[1:55:41] So a little romance if you want to get picked up a little bit.

[1:55:45] And I want to get picked up.

[1:55:49] So take me home tonight.

[1:55:52] That's that, guys.

[1:55:55] I'm going to sign off very quickly because we're running late

[1:55:59] because we're running late.

[1:56:00] And I was up very late last night covering the damn election for the Daily Show.

[1:56:05] So I had to head to Kentucky.

[1:56:09] Yes, we can.

[1:56:10] Well, I heard you've got to deal with them.

[1:56:12] They called you in to deal with some killings around mine country.

[1:56:15] Exactly. I'm heading down into Appalachia, first going to West Virginia

[1:56:20] and then down into Kentucky.

[1:56:22] Seems like something's got to be justified.

[1:56:26] But thanks for listening.

[1:56:29] Thanks for being you.

[1:56:31] Thanks for everything.

[1:56:33] Yeah. Yeah, man.

[1:56:34] Thanks for listening to.

[1:56:36] Thanks for listening to us work through some shit

[1:56:39] for the flop house.

[1:56:40] I've been Dan McCoy.

[1:56:41] I'm always Stuart Wellington.

[1:56:43] And I'll always be here for you, with you, by you.

[1:56:48] Of you, Elliot Kaelin.

[1:56:50] By you, Billy.

[1:56:57] OK, so first we do the intro.

[1:57:01] Ha ha ha.

[1:57:03] Hence its name.

[1:57:04] Well, a little loop in a day.

[1:57:06] It's where Jimmy Stewart showed up to do this thing.

[1:57:10] A kind of a rough night and a rough day.

[1:57:14] I mean, Jimmy Stewart, I was a Republican, but I was more of an establishment

[1:57:18] Republican. I'm more of a John Wayne tonight, Pilgrim.

[1:57:22] I'm a Tom Brokaw here to talk about June.

[1:57:26] And like always, Jesus, chill out.

[1:57:29] The story of Mod Dib, born Paul Atreides,

[1:57:34] as he takes control of the Freeman or Fremen

[1:57:39] and rides a maker worm.

[1:57:41] The secret of the spice

[1:57:44] without this intergalactic navigation

[1:57:47] is not possible.

[1:57:49] So do they take that spice and just give it to the giant floating space worm guys?

[1:57:53] How does that work?

[1:57:55] One, you have taken enough of the spice.

[1:57:57] It distorts your body in horrific ways,

[1:58:02] but allows you the ability to bend time.

[1:58:06] Oh, OK. And space.

[1:58:08] I guess that's worth it.

[1:58:09] More space than time.

[1:58:12] The great trading houses rely on the spice.

[1:58:16] Like Hercone and Atreides?

[1:58:18] Very much so.

[1:58:20] The spice is life.

[1:58:24] In opposition, fear is the mind killer.

[1:58:28] Yeah, I was a little, a little death within us all.

[1:58:35] All right. Intro.

[1:58:37] Now, in Chapter House Dune.

[1:58:39] Yes, Sammy. Sammy, get in.

[1:58:41] I'm tired. That's all right.

[1:58:42] Name what name you have for us.

[1:58:43] I mean, I did make dinner for you and him.

[1:58:45] The other was that a week ago.

[1:58:47] We can have it.

[1:58:47] Oh, you guys made a little dinner.

[1:58:49] Yeah. Dan came over to buy or something.

[1:58:52] I mean, it was chicken and I made and I roasted broccoli.

[1:58:54] And I was every every now and then I'd take a moment to glance over and see

[1:58:57] my son and Dan lying head to head on the couch watching the Muppets show.

[1:59:02] It was really pretty adorable. Yeah.

[1:59:04] Yeah. This is after we'd all gone out for ice cream.

[1:59:07] Yeah. We're a regular family.

[1:59:13] Maximum fun dot org.

[1:59:15] Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.

[1:59:19] Instead of door busting for a plasma TV this Black Friday,

[1:59:23] how about you stay in and snag the best deal of all Max FunCon 2017 tickets.

[1:59:29] Max FunCon West returns to Lake Arrowhead next June,

[1:59:32] and Max FunCon East is back in the Poconos next September.

[1:59:35] Tickets for both go on sale Friday, November 25th,

[1:59:39] and they're going to sell out fast.

[1:59:41] So mark your calendars and visit Max FunCon dot com on November 25th

[1:59:45] to secure your spot.

[1:59:46] Max FunCon way more fun than a smartwatch or whatever.

Ep. #217 - Independence Day: Resurgence

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